First Day of School!

Well, it was a lovely summer, but it had to come to an end sometime.  And that meant it was finally time for Carter to head to Kindergarten!  So hard to believe!  Seems like we were just here with Jacob, but more on that in a bit.  As usual, the customary front porch photo...

And then it was Jacob's turn, as he headed off to fifth grade (!)...

Had to get both boys together...

And then it was off in the rain to the bus stop at the corner.

We waited for quite a while.  Buses are always late for the first few days--the first day especially with photos and last hugs.  We had about four other buses pass by, but finally ours came.  And yes, Jacob took the bus because we told him he had to do it on the first day with Carter. 

Proof that Carter never looked back...

Carter had a great first day.  His teacher was nice enough to post a handful of photos and updates on an app she's using for communications this year, which definitely put my mind at ease.  He seemed to have fun and said it was more fun than daycare, so I guess that's good!  He was actually mad when I got to the afterschool program to pick them up, because he was having a good time!  And yes, they're both at the afterschool program.  I'm already waiting for the call when they fight with each other and get suspended.  But the first day went fine, and Carter was having so much fun that he didn't want to leave!  Jacob, on the other hand...well, let's just say it was a typical first day for him.  He was upset about the following issues:

1) His teacher gives homework (he was previously told he did not)
2) His teacher is boring
3) His best friends are all together in another class (again)
4) The one friend he thought he'd have in this class was only talking to one other person
5) No one good is at his table
6) No one likes basketball
7) His afterschool friends aren't there this year so he's bored

I think he had many similar complaints at this point last year, too.  It's too bad about the friend thing, but he already knew who was in his class so I guess this is just the reality of it all finally hitting him.  He said after the meet-and-greet on Wednesday that there were some kids new to the school, so I have encouraged him to make friends with them because they probably need it and you never know when you'll find someone you have things in common with.  Of course that's a terrible idea, Mom, but whatever.  Easier to complain all year, I guess.

I have no sympathy for the teacher giving homework (though I can't say I'm thrilled to be back to signing an agenda every night, no matter how much I understand the concept of teaching responsibility--somehow it's never his, but I have to let him miss recess this year, I guess).  He's in fifth grade and he needs to understand that the class time is going to be more serious and less fun, and the homework is only going to increase.  He's actually going to be shocked by what he gets next year in private school, I think, and that will be one rude awakening.  Might as well start a bit now.

I also understand his disappointment with the afterschool program, and have promised him that we'll think about it.  He's old enough to come home on his own, but he's never been comfortable alone and I don't know how I feel about that lack of control.  I know I came home alone once in a while starting when I was 8 (my mom worked part time and I have to assume my brother's sports practices kept him away at least sometimes), but for some reason I'm just not comfortable with Jacob.  Maybe we need to do a test run and see if we can trust him to do his homework, rather than playing NBA 2K18 all afternoon.  Initially I thought we could maybe do it by May or June, as a congratulations for a good year, but I suppose it's worth considering.  I wouldn't mind saving $250 per month.

Day 2 went better for Jacob and equally great for Carter.  The hard stuff hasn't started yet, of course, so we'll just enjoy the honeymoon phase for now!  The first full week is ahead, but of course I won't be here for it, so I'll have to rely on Craig to tell me how they're holding up.  Carter hasn't shown signs of the complete exhaustion Jacob had for the first couple weeks, but then again he doesn't have to work as hard to be good all day.  My boss said her grandson was a terror on Wednesday night after having to hold it in all day.  I don't think we've seen any of that yet, either.  So, I guess this is as good as it gets for now.

As we started this week I couldn't help but think back to five years ago when Jacob started Kindergarten, and how much we were going through then.  We'd just been through the hardest month of our lives with Jacob's increasingly erratic behavior and the realization that Carter seemed to have a rice intolerance.  Craig's dad was going through heart bypass surgery, and we had our Disney trip on the horizon.  And during that came the positive Celiac test, which just made everything harder.  I remember feeling like our lives were spinning out of control.  Heck, coming back from Florida I felt like our entire world had changed over the course of a month, and starting to think about testing out some gluten-free eating was basically the straw that broke the camel's back.  It was all so much.  I cried almost daily, or was at least on the verge of it constantly.  I could no longer connect with my son, and I didn't know how to help him.  We tried therapy, but it didn't seem to work.  Nothing did, and I felt lost.  Sometimes I wonder how I made it out of that alive.  That the stress didn't kill me is sort of amazing.  Although, now that I think about it, I tended to trace back multiple health issues to turning 35, and that happened in the middle of all of that, too.  So maybe the stress did do some lasting damage.

I feel lucky to be where we are now--the boys don't always get along and generally make us crazy, but I think it's mostly "normal" crazy now...like the stuff most parents always complain about.  Most of the time, anyway.  It's no longer physically restraining our child, or having him completely lose his sh** in the middle of a store.  I still have many worries about our future--about the teenage years, his medication, how he'll learn to take it on his own someday--but for now I know we're actually in a decent spot.  It's not easy, but compared to what it once was, it's livable.  So, five years later I'm especially grateful to be starting the year on a good note.  Let's just hope it stays there.