News & Notes, How is it Almost August Edition

With everything that's been going on lately, I guess it's time for a general update and some miscellaneous photos.  Things tend to get lost in the shuffle when I'm mostly posting weekend round-ups.

Back on July 11, Jacob had his well visit at the doctor's office, and much to his dismay, he had to get a tetanus booster.  Since it was just the two of us and I figured he could use a pick-me-up, we had to hit up 7-Eleven for Free Slurpee Day!  Yum!

Carter may be only about five weeks away from Kindergarten (what?!) but he's still my sweet baby boy, as evidenced from this picture from a few weeks back.  I found him like this one morning.  Still looks like an angel when he sleeps.  I love watching him wake up, too, because he still reminds me of his baby self with the faces he makes!

Also a few weeks back, the boys and I were home alone for the evening and everyone was a little antsy.  It was either crappy outside or we'd just reached our limit on outside activity for the day, so I brought up a playtime suggestion I'd been sitting on for a while - to use the Magic Tracks and magnetic tiles to make a cool track that looked even cooler with the light-up car running through it.  It took a lot of discussion about the best way to set it up and utilize the tiles we had, but in the end, we had this:

Jacob's hotel is the big structure in the back.  There were a couple little hills and multiple tunnels.  I was particularly proud of my rainbow one at the bottom of the photo.

Here it is in action.  It's a little hard to see (I had it in the dark for maximum light effect), but you get the idea...


As I mentioned above, school starts in about five weeks.  I know Jacob isn't ready to go back.  Carter seems to be cautiously excited, though he hasn't begged me to take him out for his backpack and lunch bag yet.  We don't get final supply lists until our official teacher letters come in 3-4 weeks, so while I could run out and grab a few things, I'd rather just wait until we're completely clued in on what we need and try to get it one in one shot.  I can't believe how close it's getting.  Carter's daycare teacher keeps telling me how great he is, how smart, etc., but the fact he still struggles with his name a little concerns me.  I'm sure he'll get there.  I guess if I had to choose between academic readiness concerns and the behavior concerns we were dealing with at this point with Jacob, I'll take the academic stuff.  I'd think a Kindergarten teacher would know pretty quickly if the academic stuff is concerning, but at least there would be a set plan to deal with that.

We have a busy month prior to school, with two weddings, a baptism, my 40th birthday, the end of Jacob's camp (meaning some days off to fill), and the usual panic to cram in as many summer bucket list items as possible.  How I'm in the last month of my 30s, I have no idea.  Part of me is freaking out about that, but the other part is sort of "meh" about it because pretty much the entire decade was dedicated to motherhood, so it's not like I'm leaving some great party decade behind.  Speaking of birthdays, we have yet to formally celebrate Jacob's, and with the schedule we've got going on, I have no idea when it's happening.  We literally have one day that works, so if that doesn't work for anyone important, we'll be into September.  Ugh.  If it's on that one date it might be a small affair so as to not infringe on my cousin's baby's baptism the day after.  Maybe our schedule will be better next year now that we're on a new lacrosse team.

And about lacrosse...I have a couple addendums to my post the other day.  First, I should have mentioned that I'm guessing the coach feels like he did Jacob a favor by letting him go to the Orange team.  He should get more playing time, after all, which can only help his development.  And maybe he did do him a favor, but I still think it stinks that he'll be separated from the kids we hoped he'd grow up with.  It does concern me that the coach will never want to give him a shot, no matter how much he improves, but maybe a growth spurt and the result of some solid playing time will leave him no choice.  Second, even though we're excited to meet some new families, it is a little tough to know that because it's a split team with two years' worth of kids, no matter how much we love this new crew it won't be the same the year after because the older kids will move up and a younger group will come in.  I'll miss the cohesiveness we had these past two years, but we're hopeful this will broaden our lacrosse circle and open up new opportunities all around.  I'm still bummed about losing the old group, though I realized that my sadness is probably more in what could have been.  We only really started to get close to some of the families near the end of the season, so we don't really have as solid of a friendship as we probably would have liked for continuing things down the road.  I think knowing that it could have been more and never getting chance is what's really bringing me down when I let myself think about it.

On the bright side, we found out on Sunday that our friends' son who didn't make his team did in fact get picked up by Jacob's team, so they'll be together this year!  It'll be nice to have one built-in family that we know, even if he is in that year-older group and will move up the next year.  They'll also definitely be playing together in the fall with their house team, so that was good news, as well.

In other news, I guess things have been a bit more peaceful around our house these days.  Things aren't perfect by any means, but we've had more times lately where I'm like, "Oh, so this is what normal family life is supposed to be like."  We can actually have peaceful family fun once in a while.  We still have times where they can't keep their hands off one another and annoy each other (and us) to no end, but I know our travels this year were much less stressful and we seemed to have turned a corner of sorts.  I still have a lot of concerns about Jacob in the long term--his fixations, constantly having to remind him to take his medicine, lots of talking back--but one thing at a time.  I do think the basketball hoop has helped as he can go outside to burn off some energy or cool off from an argument (and he loves it, acrylic backboard and all).  We still have a lot of struggles, but I'm hoping we can build on the flimsy-but-better-than-it-was base we currently have.  Sometimes the boys almost like each other!

August is upon us and summer is quickly slipping from our grasp.  We still have some adventures ahead, so let's hope we can make the most of them!

Family Fun Weekend!

Ahhhh, another weekend (mostly) at home...it's such a novelty to be home when you start your summer completely buried under weekend trips.  Being home feels refreshing and productive and relaxing, all at once.  This particular weekend was even better because it was a three-day weekend!  I took off on Friday to start fulfilling my promise to Carter that he'd get some one-on-one attention before school starts, because after that point we won't be able to keep him home on a whim, and every sanctioned school day off will be shared with his brother.  So it only seems right to give him a few solo days with one or both parents so he has a little taste of what Jacob enjoyed for four years and eight months prior to his arrival.

We had a lazy morning (I had to work out and get a couple things done) but started our day with pizza at the same place we went on one of our special days in the winter.  The slices are huge (and there's always a BOGO coupon around), and we loved eating there together once again!

As big as his head!

We moved along to a new park nearby.  I guess I'd always seen the sign for this park, but it's sort of buried behind a church/school and the YMCA, so I had no idea what was back there.  It turned out to have a fun playground and an easy little hiking trail!  He had a blast on the playground, and I'm coming to appreciate the mild workout I get from being the participatory mom, climbing around with him.  I don't mind doing it when we're alone, but when other kids are around I try to let him latch on with them.  And he definitely did during our second playground stint, when he was rounding up four other kids (most older than him) and getting them to run from monsters and play hide-and-seek.  He's a funny little dude among a family full of introverts.

He wasn't thrilled about taking a little hike, but once we got into the woods, he did what he does best--checking things out, making up stories, and being his silly little self.  This path had a ton of downed trees everywhere.  I don't know if they're prone to rotting or what, but there were a ton.  This one had been sliced up and left, for some odd reason.

This one had rotted out hollow...but he wouldn't actually step into it.

This is a close-up of what was behind Carter in the log picture.  Hard to see, but the rest of the tree continues on dozens of feet beyond the break (some top branches are on the left).

One tree fell right across the path and Carter thought it was funny that we had to duck under it to walk further along the path.

The entrance to the path had a bridge over a creek.  It's actually a much farther north portion of a creek that backed up to the apartment we lived in when we got married.  I used to love sitting in our guest room during spring thaws or after heavy rain and hearing the creek rushing by.  Normally it's much quieter, and this section was particularly tame.  It was a very pretty spot!

There was one place where you could actually see the water flowing over rocks, and it was so peaceful.  For those fans of the old school Daily Show on Comedy Central (circa 1997 with Craig Kilborn), here is your "Moment of Zen"...

After another round on the playground and a trip to Wegmans, we headed home.  As we debated about dinner and our evening activities, the boys were playing a game of Wii Boxing, and the view from behind made Craig and I laugh.  I had to share it.

We decided to go to Minnehan's down near Geneseo to play mini golf.  It was a busy night so we had some time to kill between holes as we waited for the group ahead of us.  The result?  A family selfie!

Love my boys!

The course is so pretty at night...

We had a good time, as always, and Jacob once again beat all of us!  On Saturday we dropped the van off at the mechanic, hung out around the house, and did some yard work.  We grabbed dinner at Chick-fil-A--the first time we went as a family and it wasn't crazy busy!  On Sunday I had to go to Buffalo for a baby shower, but I was determined for us to go to church together for the first time in about six weeks!  It was nice to get back there and see some friends, but the highlight was that the sermon series is currently movie based and there was popcorn and candy afterward, not to mention this little photo op for our resident Star Wars nut...

On the way back from the shower, I happened to see this lovely rainbow.  It was a nice little sign after a rough week.

It was a half rainbow and actually looked like a double or triple, even if the photo doesn't show it.  

I ended the weekend with a two mile run that Jacob joined me on.  Well, he sort of walked then caught up, then walked and caught up again before finally running with me the last half mile or so.  He said he was feeling it today, but I definitely think he could use some more of that endurance training to get him ready for his upcoming lacrosse and basketball seasons!

Back to the grind today...and onward into my last month in my 30s!

Lacrosse Giveth, and Lacrosse Taketh Away

Monday was Jacob's tryout for his FCA travel team.  We were a bit nervous given how the season went, but he finished pretty well, all things considered, and he was eager to show his best during the tryout.  Craig watched, and apparently he did well.  He did end up paired at one point with a kid who apparently couldn't pass, meaning Jacob had a hard time catching, but other than one or two little things (and everyone has those moments), all seemed to go well.  They were told they would be notified within 24 hours. 

Well, 24 hours came and went.  Right around that time I got a Facebook message from one of the other moms.  She asked if we had heard anything, and I was sort of hoping that they hadn't heard anything either and we were all in the same boat.  Alas, no...they had heard and were on the Navy team, which is the one Jacob has been on for two years.  As was another teammate that came up in conversation, one that we thought might be on the bubble.  Suddenly the creeping dread came on and we realized that things may not have gone as well as we'd hoped.  We knew that the acceptance deadline for this first group was 24 hours after notification, which would be at 12:30 am on Wednesday morning.  At that point, we figured, spots might open up from those who turned down the invitation (not likely but possible for players who may have tried out for multiple organizations), at which point they could fill additional spots.  We also knew that there was going to be a secondary team--one with players from Jacob's year and one year older--and we figured they'd probably start filling that team now that things were a bit clearer. 

But by mid-morning on Wednesday, we still hadn't heard anything.  Craig even emailed to check in, and still nothing.  At that point we were getting extra nervous.  Would he make any team at this point?  We were running through scenario after scenario trying to figure out what to do.  Craig checked in with someone from another organization to see if we could somehow get him a look there.  We considered box lacrosse later in the year.  We were grasping at straws trying to figure out what was going on.  Ironically, our friends' son was in the same boat with the team that he played on with another organization, so at least we felt like we weren't the only ones dealing with this, but it's really not fair to anyone when you're a returning player.  With the majority of tryouts this week and a short timetable for acceptance, it makes it really hard to try out for another organization.  We found ourselves wishing we had strategized better just in case.  But despite how the season went, we felt like we really shouldn't have had to.  No one from last year's team got cut this year, and they'd want to try to keep the kids together, right?  But still, we worried.  Jacob was not handling it particularly well either.  He spent most of the two days in complete denial, sure that he was going to make his team no matter what.  Even when the timing made it especially dubious, he still held strong.  And any time we brought up the possibility that it might not happen, he definitely showed us his displeasure with that concept.  Suffice it to say that it was a rough couple days around our house.

Wednesday night as we had settled into bed and had practically given up on seeing anything, Craig was on his phone, rolled over and said, "He got an offer."  Unfortunately, it wasn't the one we were hoping for.  It was for the lower team, a.k.a., the Orange team.  Jacob had insisted he wouldn't play for that team, so we knew we'd have a lot of convincing to do in the morning.  And we did.  We ended the conversation at home relatively calmly, but in the car on the way to camp Jacob reiterated that he didn't want to play for the team and would rather go somewhere else.  I reminded him of all the reasons this was still the best option (more on that in a minute) but when I called Craig after I dropped him off, he had already put down the deposit.  So, I guess this is it.

There have been so many things swirling around in my mind and I can tell that the last few days have taken a toll.  So much so that a message from that same mom Thursday morning brought me to tears at my desk.  After being supportive through the whole process, she was urging us--from a board member's perspective--to let the head guy know that the timeline of this process wasn't handled well.  For whatever reason, it made so many emotions bubble up in that moment and I lost it for a couple minutes.  After all, losing the friends and families is the main reason this is so hard.  We're just sad about losing the relationships with friends and teammates that we cultivated these last two summers.  We really started to gravitate toward a handful of families near the end of this year, and now we won't be with them next year.  Not that those relationships can't continue (yay Facebook) but it's hard when everyone's busy and it's different when you're not spending most of your weekends for a full month with the same group.  Jacob had really begun to settle in with most of the kids, too.  It's really heartbreaking for all of us.  Two of the moms that I'm friends with on Facebook were so supportive through the whole thing.  In fact, when we were figuring out that we probably weren't on the top tier, the one was telling me how much her son likes Jacob, and then told me that he just prayed for Jacob (sob!).  It's going to be hard to lose that village, you know?  At this point we also suspect we're the only ones, so it's even more isolating knowing that everyone else will continue on and we're not part of it anymore.  Even though we have some reasons for why this may turn out well, it's hard to help your kid through a tough life lesson when you're having a rough time yourself.  

Even though we have made our decision, we're still sort of thinking through everything and wondering where things might go next year.  There are pros and cons to every option, and we'll probably always wonder if we made the right decision to stay.  The problem, though, is that based on how things shook out, if he didn't take this offer he might have ended up with nothing.  He'd have a really hard time ever having a shot at Navy again if he's not playing at some higher level this year, so we're sort of stuck.  

But will being in the same organization cause problems?  Will it be uncomfortable for Jacob to be around his old teammates?  He still insists they are his teammates (current tense), but once everyone's practicing next to each other in the fall, will it get weird?  Would it just be better for him to get a fresh start somewhere else?  After all, he said he didn't want to play for this team, so will he be incapable of putting in the right degree of effort because he's still bitter?  He was very unmotivated in the spring after his house team split, and it showed.  Honestly, that split is still causing him trouble.  I think he has a touch of PTSD from it, because he is insisting this team is going to be terrible and his teammates will be incapable of catching a pass (based on what he says he saw at tryouts).  He has it in his head that this is going to be the same thing he went through in the spring, and while this team may not be nearly as good as the one he was on, it should be competent.  After all, the kids will be older, not younger, and they're still making a good travel program.  But he's convinced they're going to be terrible, and he's going to get injured playing against older kids.  Sigh.  So now we're going to pay all this money and risk him being a headcase all year.

One of the reasons we really didn't want to leave the organization is because of the focus on faith.  We actually felt like our coach skimped on it a little this year (maybe because of the heat and the focus on getting the kids cooled down between games?), but this is really the first thing that seemed to make Christianity resonate with Jacob.  Since sports is everything to him, it's nice to have something that naturally brings faith into that for him.  We're hoping for the same from the basketball league he wants to join this winter, too.  It's also nice to be with like-minded families (see the prayer thing above), and to be able to speak openly about faith matters and not be looked at weird.  And even though we're not thrilled with how things went down this time around, we know all organizations have their issues and we'd rather be with one that has some sort of moral obligation to handle it if something seems contrary to their mission.  

The thing is, this could be a good thing in the long run.  After a season where Jacob didn't play a lot, perhaps a fresh start is just what the doctor ordered.  It's clear (particularly now) that the coach didn't value Jacob's presence on the team.  Last year things seemed okay, but this year he either didn't trust him or couldn't figure out the best way to use him.  We're still not clear on why.  Maybe it was because his son played the same position.  Maybe he just saw something he didn't like and never got over it.  Or maybe Jacob's complete lack of regular playing time just didn't leave enough opportunity for him to be memorable and leave a good lasting impression.  Regardless, we've heard good things about his new coach, so we're hopeful he'll give him a fair shot.  If he's playing more, that can only help his game, get his rhythm back, and help him regain his confidence.  If he can do a really good job, maybe they'll have to look at him again next year.  We worry his old coach will never give him a fair shot, but let's hope he grows like crazy (in more ways than one) this year.

We'll probably do less traveling for this team, which probably isn't a bad thing either.  Sure, it doesn't lend itself to great adventures, but maybe that will let us choose other adventures we really want to do instead.  We're due for a really good vacation, so maybe this will make that a little more possible.  And while we'll really miss the families we're leaving behind, maybe we'll meet more great ones with this team and just expand our circle.  I hope Jacob can make some new friends, too.  Who knows when we'll run into friends that any one of us could have forever?

I think we're all still working through various stages of grief with this.  It's been a part of us for two years now, and while we're still part of the same organization, not being on the top tier team makes things a little different.  Once in a while something new pops into my head that I hadn't thought about the downside of yet, and the sadness resurfaces a bit.  There's a sense of belonging that has been stripped away, and we probably won't find a new normal at least until our first tournament in the fall, when we see who we're with and how the team performs.  We prayed through all of this that we'd end up where God wanted us, that there would be a purpose to it if we didn't end up where we wanted to.  Well, here we are, and hopefully that purpose becomes apparent sooner rather than later so we can all regain a little sanity.  There's a lot of unsettledness right now, and I think that may be the hardest part for the foreseeable future.  We know it could be worse (our friends' son didn't make his team at all 😦) and life lessons often turn into good things down the road.  We'll miss this phase of our life, but we're hopeful that this will turn into something good soon.

Back to the Lax

This past weekend was a pretty good one, all things considered.  We had a weekend at home and it ended up being a good mix of productivity, fun, and just enough restfulness (I guess--is it ever really enough?).  Craig went to his cousin's stag on Friday in Buffalo, so it was just me and the boys for the evening and next morning.  Once Craig came home, I was determined to do some running around.  I wanted to stop at a couple roadside stands and the Farmer's Market outside the mall.  I was craving some fresh produce and also wanted to scope out some plants for our yard.  For at least three summers I've been on the hunt for a new bush to replace an out-of-control one that I hacked down, and for a couple years I've needed to fill a hole in our back flower bed that originally housed an annual I bought accidentally when I put in some boxwoods and phlox.  Although the bush is still elusive (though I'm thinking I might be able to pull off a smaller hydrangea there), I did find a pretty plant for the other spot.  I originally wanted something that flowers this time of year (since this is when we're out there most), but instead ended up with a really pretty plant that is a good fit for the limited sun there and has the most gorgeous purple under the leaves (which are a more muted green).  I think it will be a really nice addition--and it will bloom a bit in the spring, too.

After lunch and a little bit of rest time, we headed out to Canandaigua, which is about 45 minutes away.  Last year Craig played lacrosse late at night in a 24-hour lacrosse game called Shootout for Soldiers.  It's a full 24 hours of essentially one game (cumulative score, Stars vs. Stripes) where the teams change out every hour or two.  This year he was called upon to help emcee the opening ceremonies.  I figured maybe we could do something else while we were out there, like visit the lake or something, but after days on end of crazy heat, we finally had an overcast afternoon.  By the time we got there, the weather had turned almost cool, which has definitely not been an issue most of this summer.  It was actually still a pleasant afternoon and evening, though, and we ended up having a very nice time.

Craig standing by during the opening ceremonies

Lots of groups on the field for the ceremonies honoring various veterans and the family of a deceased soldier

Afterward, we wandered over to the food trucks and other activities.  The boys played this game called Spikeball where you use the palm of your hand to bounce the ball off this little trampoline net to the other person.

Carter and I took on a game of giant Jenga!  He doesn't quite have the technique down, though.  Countless times he tried to take out a piece right next to a missing one, which would have immediately sent it tumbling.  Physics class in a few years, buddy...

They also had a few awesome bounce houses with slides, which Carter loved!  He actually went in with one of Jacob's teammates who we ran into there, and he had a blast!

It turned out a couple families from Jacob's team were there, and as everyone got talking, it led to Jacob getting recruited to play with their team (though their local house program) the following morning in a three-game round robin event.  So, we grabbed some dinner on the way home, got the boys in bed, and made a return trip the next morning!

It was a drizzly morning, which has been a rarity this summer, but luckily it pretty much cleared up and we only had to deal with a few drops while we were there.  It even got sunny later on.  It was great to reconnect with a couple team families while we were there, and the games were fun to watch!

Jacob's in the silver helmet, and moments after he received this pass, he went in and scored an awesome goal, mid-fall!

No goal here, but close!  Too much pressure...literally!  The goalie is another one of his FCA teammates, playing for the other team!

It was a lot of fun to watch the games, and soon enough we were done!  Carter wanted to go play in the bounce houses again, and we scoped out lunch options.  In the meantime, one of the FCA families bought a box of cupcakes at the cake raffle booth, and guess who got to eat one? ;-)

We grabbed some lunch on the way home (then got caught up playing cool video games for free at the tech-savvy Burger King we ate at), and I finished up the day by planting my new plant and going crazy clearing out baby trees and other random greenery from the way back of our yard.  In the process I also picked about a cup of blackberries from the wild vines in our yard!  I think that's the most I've ever gotten, and there are a lot more still ripening if I can get them before the birds!  Oh, and despite eating out half the weekend already, we had frozen yogurt for dinner because our favorite place had a BOGO day.  So, not a bad weekend at all.

After a great lacrosse weekend, we had high hopes for Monday's FCA tryouts.  That story is still in process, though, so stay tuned...

You're Doing it Wrong

I've been (slowly) reading one of the books I got for Christmas, "Present Over Perfect", by Shauna Niequist.  We had done a video study of hers in my church Mom group way back when, and when I saw this book I thought it might be a good one.  Often I don't feel truly present with my kids.  I'm checking off a to do list (or wanting to), distracted by technology, or just trying not to scream like a banshee when they're misbehaving.  It's rarer than I'd like that I really dig in and spend high quality time with them.  So I figured a book that helped me figure out how to do that better would be great.

So far, I relate to some of the feelings in the book, but not the means of getting there.  So far it seems like she got to her stressful peak by saying yes to too many things.  I don't feel like that's my problem.  I suppose the reality is that I'm saying yes to stuff, but it's just not the usual stuff that usually plagues the overly busy.  I almost feel like I don't have enough hours in the day to say yes to anything else!  I say yes to the things I have to, and yes to the downtime it seems like I need.  Beyond that, there's not much time to say anything else.

I wish I could get up early.  Let's get that out there.  I dream of being a happy morning person, waking up early to work out, read the Bible, and start my day out with prayer.  My alarm rings at 6:30, but sometimes it takes me nearly an hour to stop snoozing and get out of bed.  That's unacceptable, but I'm tired!  I then spend an hour getting ready, packing lunches, and getting whichever kid I can out the door.

I do the 20 minute commute, work my eight hours, and do the 40 minute commute home (because construction sucks).  A kid or two gets picked up along the way, and by the time we're home it's usually 6pm.  During lacrosse season we have practice until late two days a week, and that makes the dinner thing extra tough and very late.  Usually at least once or twice a week I'm running errands on the way home, too, so then our starting point is 7pm.  I cook whatever I can muster--something everyone will eat and that we have all the ingredients for.  It's usually 7:30 or 8 by the time we get done with dinner, at which point I want to do nothing more than collapse into my chair and bond with my phone.  I chill for an hour and then it's time for the kids to go to bed.  Jacob usually takes care of himself, and Craig and I usually split the Carter duties.  After that, it's TV/computer/phone time until bed.  Throw in some laundry, bill paying, or other assorted duties once in a while, but mostly it's just veg time.  I should go to bed at 11pm, but usually I'm crawling into bed at 11:45, and the crappy cycle starts all over again.

I know I could cut down the evening veg time, but I feel like I need that to be functional.  It's sort of an introvert thing after a long day of work and loud kids, but let's face it--I'm just worn out.  How would I ever fit in friends, or volunteer activities, or anything else on a regular basis?  I really need to cram in a workout these days, too, so I have managed to fit that in.  It takes effort, but three out of four days I've done it.  I realized that one of my favorite dresses barely zips up (and is not comfortable), and another isn't nearly as flattering right now, so it's time to take control of myself, watch what I eat, and exercise.  I've let things go a little too far.  No one else would know, but there's an extra layer of fat all around right now--including a belly that no longer sucks in flat--so it's clear I need to shape up and see what I can do.  At least for a month until I need to wear one of those dresses to a wedding.

I feel like I shouldn't be this tired by the very limited day I live.  Some people have physically demanding jobs, or littler kids that take more effort, or need to be up earlier.  Some people have two jobs, or countless kid activities.  I don't have any of that, and yet...blah.  Craig's no better, unfortunately.  Between stress and a bad knee, it's hard to get him going most of the time, too.  All together it leads to some lazy parenting, so technology is around far more than I'd like.  Trying to remind the kids that there's an outside and a million toys in this house does not come easily these days, although Jacob is enjoying his basketball hoop and the pool as long as he has company.  But we should do better.  I'm hoping that getting myself moving will help in the long run with that.

It's frustrating, though, to not feel capable, and that's when I wonder if I'm doing something wrong.  Is this just how I'm built?  Am I missing something?  Am I just weak?  Are my kids just extra exhausting?  What's going on?  Do I just need more sleep?  Less stress?  Or would adding activities make my life fuller and therefore more interesting and energizing?  I can't say I've figured it out yet.  But I bought an Instant Pot to hopefully make dinner quicker and less scary.  I'm managing the exercise right now.  Still failing with bedtime and quality time with the kids, but one thing at a time?  I'll keep reading the book, because I'm sure there are tips, tricks, and commiseration I'll appreciate, but in the meantime I'll just keep wondering how the women who do it all do it all...because God knows I can't.  I can barely manage a little, apparently.  But I'll keep on truckin' on...

The Grand Finale

Sunday was another early day, though not as early as it could have been.  It was another pleasant morning, though it was shaping up to be warmer than Saturday.  Our first game was against the host team, who had finished 2-1 the previous day.  The team that beat them was a good one, so we knew it would be a battle no matter what.  It was another really tight game, and as time ticked down, we were only up 5-4 and momentum was not on our side.  We were giving the ball away left and right, which isn't something we normally do.  With a few minutes left, an opposing player went down with an injury.  Usually injuries only take about 30 seconds to resolve--the coach runs out, the kid gets up, and they both walk off the field.  This time the kid just laid there.  We were concerned it was something serious like a head injury, mostly because they weren't rushing to move him.  Keep in mind these games are on a running clock, so the longer they take, the less playing time there is.  And given that the team was one goal down and running out of time to tie it, their lack of action with this player was shocking.  In the end it turned out to be a sprained ankle, but everyone was surprised just how long it took to get him off.  After that there was maybe only a minute left in the game, and lucky for us, they didn't score.  We ended up with a 5-4 win, and while we were all grateful, that's not really the way you want to see it play out.

So, another weekend, another championship game.  This one looked to be our toughest yet, and it didn't start well.  Before we knew it, we were down 4-1.  We came back only to fall behind again.  We struggled again with maintaining possession and picking up loose balls, which makes it awfully tough to score.  One of our players went down twice with an injury.  But the boys somehow clawed back again.  They tied it, then took the lead.  One more late goal sealed it, and they won!  Nice to end the season with a championship!

Huddling around the coach postgame

Tired but happy kid!

Most championships get you a t-shirt.  Last year we had one with a single trophy.  But for this one, they got medals!

As we packed up and headed out, I couldn't help but snap a picture of this school banner.  That slogan is in the on-field logo on their turf field, too.  It's not exactly what I expected from such a refined school like this, but think it's sort of representative of what we all want for our kids, isn't it?

Upon sitting in the van and appreciating the air conditioning for a minute, the first question was, "Well, do we do it?"  "It" being the baseball game we were supposed to go to on Friday.  It was hot, we had a long drive ahead, and everyone was tired.  But to be less than a half hour from a new baseball stadium seemed like leaving something on the table for our "vacation".  I wanted to do it, and Craig got on board when I confirmed it was so close.  The kids took some convincing, and Jacob actually freaked out upon arrival because we drove through the 'hood to get there.  I think he was on edge because his teammate's family's vehicle got broken into over the weekend (even though they were at a "nice" hotel), and we had just been talking about the importance of not leaving valuables in the van.  Well, that apparently put him in panic mode, and it took an absurd amount of convincing to get him out of the van once we parked.  We were already a bit late and had a long walk to the park (though, thankfully, there ended up being a shuttle), and with the heat being pretty intense by that point, Jacob's resistance was about the last thing we needed!  But we persevered and headed to the game, scooping up some standing-room only tickets, since that's all that was left.  It was fine, I guess, because we were really just there to see everything, and if our seats were in the sun we probably wouldn't have sat in them anyway!

So, I present to you Dunkin' Donuts Park!

We're not in Tim Hortons' country anymore, folks...

The home team is the Hartford Yard Goats, and the stadium was gloriously themed accordingly, from horns on signs to photo wraps on the bathroom doors with the corresponding male and female versions of their mascots.  It was a nice stadium for a Double-A team, a perfect size and with some cool features.  There was fun counter-height seating at the top of most sections, and they were actual sellable seats.  There was a bunch of that type of seating in the outfield, as well.  The scoreboard was huge.  The press box and the production room were both on the main concourse, and the production room even had a window to watch the action.  I'd never seen that before.

Lovely!

As it is Hartford, Land of Everything Insurance, there were a couple prominent sponsorships in the stadium:

The Hartford Terrace had the giant buck on top!

The Kids' Zone was sponsored by Travelers, so of course it needed a giant red umbrella.

The kids had a good time in the Kids' Zone.  For $5 total, each kid got to do three things.  Playing in the Dunkin' Donuts playhouse (which was being raffled off) was free, and our budding chef couldn't wait to serve something up!

Jacob just wanted to shoot hoops (of course)…

Carter wanted to do the slide.  He loved it!  I loved the look on his face in both of these, so I couldn't pick just one.  Click to zoom in on the first one :)

One of the coolest things I've ever seen was the pen of live goats at the end of the first base side.  I mean, how cute are the babies (two near the mom on the left, one in the crate to the right)?

Upstairs from the goats was the bullpen, and of course our resident basketball fan noticed the tiny hoop on the wall!

While I was off visiting the ladies' room and getting food, Craig couldn't resist catching these shots of the boys in front of a nearby mural...

It was a HOT day, and it was clear we were running out of energy quickly.  We did a couple rounds around the stadium, finished up at the Kids' Zone, and visited the very busy team store.  I snapped a couple last photos, and it was time to go.

You can just see it in this photo, but there was a patio/suite area on the third base side that was sponsored by a basement renovation company.  Just another cool feature of a neat little stadium!

Check out that coffee cup on the scoreboard!

We left during the 7th inning stretch and were happy to get back to the van (intact, despite Jacob's fears), and get started on the long trip home.  It was a long trip, but it was manageable--at least until about 90 minutes outside Rochester when Carter started moaning about how he just wanted to be home.  You and me both, buddy.

So, another season ends.  On one hand I'm thrilled to be done with packing, done with coolers and suitcases, and done with long stretches trapped in the van.  I don't miss sleeping in hotels or waking up early to leave enough time to get ice in the coolers.  I'm tired of trying to figure out eating on the road and roasting for hours because the players get shade priority.  I'm ready to have relaxing weekends at home (or at least spend my weekends trying to make our home look presentable again) and not be infinitely exhausted every Monday.  But then again, I will miss spending time with the families and watching the team come together for a big win.  I miss the prospect of adventures in new places and having time to be a family without the normal distractions of home life.  Tryouts are coming soon, and we're nervous.  While we'd like to think two years of experience and Jacob's good attitude despite tough circumstances would be nice boosts to his chances, there's no telling what might happen if good players come in from outside.  He wants to be on this team, but clearly he didn't play a lot and there's a chance he won't make it.  If he doesn't, he won't have a lot of options, but hopefully that won't be necessary.  Everything happens for a reason, and hopefully we'll find some really good ones if things don't go as planned, but hopefully we get to do it all over again next summer!

Connecticut, Day 2 (or is it Massachusetts?)

I was out of bed before 5am on Saturday, even though I didn't sleep well.  I couldn't get in a deep sleep, and I was dreaming a lot.  I think it was a combination of the usual hotel stuff like a different bed and humming A/C, the joys of sleeping next to Carter, and being overfull from a late dinner.  So when I woke up and it was nearly time for my alarm, I checked out my phone for a couple minutes and got up before I could start the snoozing battle.  We had to be on the road by around 6:30 to be at the field by 7am.  We were shocked to discover it was downright cool outside.  After last weekend where we were roasting the second we walked out the door, this time we needed jackets!  It was a gorgeous morning.

We arrived at the tournament site, the Westminster School.  It's a private 9-12 school, and we realized as we drove into the lush, large campus that we were passing by dorms.  It's a boarding school that costs about the same as the very expensive university where I work.  It costs a little bit less to attend locally, but the thought of spending such a large amount of money on high school--let alone college--was mind-blowing.  I also can't imagine sending my high schooler off to live in a dorm, either, but it was a gorgeous campus and I'm sure it's a great experience for those who attend!

The tournament was called "The Brawl on the Hill", and this is why:

The picture doesn't really do it justice, but if you use the players for scale, it helps.  The hill was pretty large, and we had to go down and up it a bit because our other two games were at fields at the top!  It had a beautiful stone lookout area at the top, and below was the view.  The field we played on was on the left, and the fancy turf field is in the distance.

Game one was a close one, but we came out with an 8-7 win.  We had a decent lead at one point, but they lost their edge a little and were lucky to escape with the one goal win.  The second game was a 13-2 blowout, but the good news was that Jacob got to play a lot!  No goals again, but he was hustling and helping to set up plays, so we were thrilled.

The third game of the day was against the team we beat in the semifinals the week before.  That was a very competitive game, and we knew they took the loss hard.  Well, we figured they'd be back with a vengeance, but initially we jumped out to a pretty good lead, maybe 4-1?  Everyone thought it was going to be another blowout.  But then something weird happened.  Every single call started going against us.  We've seen bad officiating before, but generally you see refs blowing either one big call against you (like the no-goal in Syracuse) or iffy penalty calls that get parents up in arms because they threaten the kids' safety.  But with those, usually they eventually seem to even out for both sides.  We'd never seen anything like this.  There were repeated man-ups for the other team, and so many blatant missed calls on them.  Even worse, there were a lot of phantom possession calls, like when their player got hit in the cup with a shot (ouch) and somehow they ended up with possession.  Literally every time the whistle blew we knew we were losing possession.  It was mystifying.  Our lead quickly evaporated because we spent most of the game down a man, and as time ticked down, we were tied 5-5 and ended up in overtime.  We had a few scary moments, but then one of our players broke out and boom--goal!  It was an important win to keep us in the running to play for the championship, but it never should have been that close to begin with.  We're still not sure how that happened, but thank goodness they won because it would have been a shame to go down that way.

We were done by lunch time and decided to head into Springfield (less than 30 minutes away) to go to the store at the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame.  We had wanted to go into the hall, but the Groupon offer stopped prior to summer, and I wasn't sure the price was worth it for us.  Jacob was fine with the store, so we headed out around 2:30.  I went to the Hall on my same eighth grade class trip as the Howe Caverns visit, and I remember enjoying it.  However, that version is long gone and was replaced years ago with a new, fancy one.  How 'bout that roof?  It's actually a giant sphere building, and yes, the orange sphere is a basketball!

Inside, there were a bunch of free exhibits in the lobby.  There were lockers for a variety of hall of famers, much like I remember seeing for current players in my original visit...

We enjoyed these shoe size plaques in the floor.  Jacob's foot is just a little smaller than Shaq's!

We checked out the store and all along Jacob was longingly looking through the doors at the cool center court inside, where you can shoot basketballs at a variety of hoops.  He really wanted to go in and play.  After the Groupon was no longer an option, I spent a lot of time debating whether we should go in.  Should we try to come back sometime when we can get the discount?  Or should we just bite the bullet, make our kid happy, and go in now?  Well...after some discussion and making Jacob promise he would patiently look through the exhibits and not spend the entire time begging to play, we relented and went in.  At least a AAA discount softened the blow a bit.  

The view from the third floor (the automatic first stop on the entry elevator) was pretty impressive.  

All of those squares across the middle of the picture above are the faces of the inductees.  Below them were bios grouped by year of induction.  We had fun looking for names we recognized, mostly from Buffalo's and Rochester's short tenures in the NBA.  We also learned some interesting history we never knew about a recreational team in Buffalo that formed shortly after Naismith's invention of the sport.  Speaking of Naismith, here he is with his famous peach basket (a.k.a., the first basketball hoop).

In our house, former NBA player Mugsy Bogues comes up a lot.  He was only 5'3" but could slam dunk.  Between Jacob's general fascination with players and the fact he's only an inch taller than me, he's sort of a thing for us.  Funny, then, that there was this cutout at the Hall of Fame...

Then there was this one, of 7'6" Yao Ming.

There was a lot to see throughout the upper floors, mostly jerseys and shoes interspersed with historical artifacts like this old scoreboard.

There were also some interactive activities, like something to test your vertical leap or a blue-screen simulation game.  It might be hard to follow, but this is Jacob playing against a WNBA player (not his choice but we couldn't figure out quickly enough how to select a different one).

We tried to make our way through pretty quickly but not too quickly.  After all, we paid enough for this and I wanted to get a taste of what was there.  We could have read descriptions for hours!  On the second floor there was a media zone that included your chance to do your own version of a famous call, but our funny memory from there was Jacob noticing that in the very old video clip, a random fan ran on the court in the victory rush, stole the ball, and ran off just as fast.  It was hilarious!  Presumably that ball is sitting in someone's house somewhere as their prized possession!

We took a quick rest in the pretend skybox suite...

...and then headed down to the floor for what Jacob had been waiting for since we got there--center court!

Jacob grabbed a ball and started shooting right away!  Craig and Carter went to the slam dunk section, and Daddy gave Carter a little assist :)

Jacob quickly found his favorite spot--the peach basket!  He was hitting tons of shots.  I tried like heck to get them on video, but kept missing it.  The video below caught a less spectacular one, but watch for how long it takes the ball to spiral out of the basket!

It was a really cool space--very busy with players, but lots of fun nonetheless!

If I haven't mentioned it, Carter has been on a major Star Wars kick lately.  He thought that the Hall of Fame sphere looked a lot like the Death Star, and here he is attacking it on the wall mural--note the basketball hitting the target!

Galactic destruction aside, he's still a cute kid :)

We only had an hour and a half total to see everything before it closed for the night, and we still managed a half hour of shooting.  Jacob could have stayed all day!  But alas, closing time arrived and it was time to go.

After all, we had one more activity planned!  A few of Jacob's teammates were meeting at an entertainment center, and Jacob craves time to spend with his teammates so we had to go.  Unfortunately, many chose to hang at their hotel pool or do other things, so it only ended up being a few, but they had a blast!  The place had everything--arcade games, mini bowling, rock climbing, bounce houses, laser tag, mini golf, bumper cars, and more stuff I'm forgetting.

Jacob treated one of his teammates to bowling...

...and they returned the favor with laser tag!  He had a great time.  Carter mostly stayed in the arcade area, and was so excited to see this Star Wars game!  He did really well, too!

Eventually it was time to head back to the hotel and rest up for the next day.  We were all in mixed stages of hunger after a long day of snacking and random eating times, so the boys enjoyed ice cream from the hotel vending machine, and I had a piece of cold pizza.  It was about all we could muster at that point!  It had been a really long day, but a good one.  Could we top it on Sunday?  We'll see...