What a weekend...

Well, despite the fact Jacob is crying right now, it was a pretty great weekend. Fever and current bedtime fussiness aside, we really had a very nice 4-1/2 days together. It was nice having such a long uninterrupted time with him. It's rare to have that. Today was exceptionally fun, with lots of smiles and happy time. He was a really good boy, other than when he was so tired that he got fussy--this kid can fight sleep like few others--but for the most part he was downright awesome. He was so much fun to play with. He seems to be getting to the point that I can simply look at him and he'll start smiling...let alone if I make a funny face, blow raspberries at him, or give him a toy to play with. He's also getting to be quite the grabber. On Friday he grabbed a spoon off the table very swiftly, and later he knocked over a (closed) 2-Liter bottle of soda/pop (pick your word--I grew up in Buffalo but live in Rochester so I'm torn) just by reaching out for it while he was in my arms. Oops. Yesterday he did the same with my plastic glass at a restaurant (just ice). Today he was reaching for all sorts of stuff. It's funny to watch him fixate on something and start exploring. We're definitely getting into a new frontier with that stuff. He's becoming more interested in grown-up food, but I think I'm still going to hold out on solid food a little longer. No sense rushing things. Maybe a couple more weeks and we'll give it a shot, just so we can get in a decent groove before we're off for another few routine-jarring days in Buffalo at Christmas. I forgot to mention that he weighed in around 16-1/2 pounds at the doctor yesterday...so he's definitely getting bigger by the day. He's a lot to cart around sometimes, but when he falls asleep in your arms or hangs on to your neck (another new thing--nice to not always have to support him completely when I need that extra hand), it's worth it. Anyway, it'll be tough dropping him off tomorrow. It definitely makes me look forward to the whole week I'll have off at Christmas, not to mention any additional vacation days I happen to take between now and then. Long weekends rock...now more than ever.

Not quite how we planned it...

In case we needed another lesson on how having kids changes things, the Thanksgiving holiday provided it. Regardless of everything that happened, we still managed to have a nice couple days and two awesome meals. Jacob was quite entertaining when he was in a good mood, and we had a nice time hanging out with both sides of the family. That said...

Jacob's fever stuck around until Thanksgiving night. It really didn't seem to bother him too much, but he probably didn't eat as much as usual and it was painful knowing how warm he felt. Still, he seemed to do pretty well. We kept him medicated with Tylenol, and that seemed to keep the fever at bay. The first night away he did ok, just waking up once, I think. Nothing too bad. The second night was a little worse, with him waking up twice. I fed him a bit both times because nothing else seemed to work. Craig slept with him on his chest for a bit, and later on I slept with him cradled in my arm. Far from ideal, but considering he was sick and we just needed to sleep, it worked out ok.

He seemed ok in the morning, but by the evening he seemed a little cranky and uncomfortable, so I tried Tylenol again in case he was having pain from an ear infection or teething. He seemed ok after that. We put him in bed around 10, but he woke up around 12:15 or so screaming. I've never heard him scream like that. He stiffened up, arched his back, threw back his head, spread his arms, and screamed bloody murder. Nothing seemed to calm him. After a while I think he started tiring himself out, but it took a long time before he was calm enough to fall back to sleep. In the meantime, we called the doctor and talked to the nurse. She didn't have much to say except to keep giving him Tylenol if he seemed uncomfortable. He woke up again around 3:30 for another half hour of painful crying, and I think for the rest of the night he slept on Craig's chest. Needless to say, Craig is napping as I type. We got up this morning and got on the road by 10 so we could make it back to Rochester before the doctor's walk-in hours ended at noon. We had planned to stay in NT until at least this afternoon, to hang out with my parents, maybe do a little shopping, and whatever else. Not so much.

The doctor didn't have much to tell us. No ear infection, at least. She chalked his discomfort up to congestion, which he has had a lot of, but he's been congested since his bronchiolitis episode in August. I'm not sure what would make last night turn so ugly compared to any other night with congestion, but it still may be that he's teething. We can't feel anything yet, and although he's been chewing on his hands and fingers a lot, he does that quite a bit anyway. I guess if it happens again we'll have to try a teething ring or a cold, wet washcloth. I have a feeling, though, that if it is teething pain, it may be the teeth inside the gums moving around. For anyone that's ever had braces, I think it's probably like that...just an ache you can't do anything about as the teeth migrate around your mouth. Who knows.

I will say that the crying fits were probably among my scariest moments as a parent. The fever was scary on Tuesday night, but the way he was crying so inconsolably was truly frightening. When attempts to soothe him didn't even register, it just seemed like he was completely consumed by pain. He was oblivious to anything going on around him and just screamed like crazy. As a parent you want to take away your child's pain, even if it means bringing it on yourself. But even more, you just want your baby to be okay. You just want to know that whatever's causing the pain is temporary, that it won't permanently harm them. You want answers...desperately wishing that you could read minds or that your baby were extremely advanced and could point to where it hurts. Jacob wasn't giving us many clues, so it all just felt very scary and out of control for a while.

He seems better again today and is taking a nice long nap right now. Hopefully he'll be in a good mood when he wakes up and will be ready for some running around as we attempt to brave a few stores in the midst of the holiday shopping season's opening weekend.

We hope everyone had a very happy thanksgiving, and hopefully we'll get to see more of you at Christmas!

First Fever

Just in time for Thanksgiving, Jacob has come down with a fever. Apparently he was a little cranky, extra sleepy, and a little warm at daycare yesterday, and by the time I got home Craig was having a rough time with him too. He definitely felt warm, and after some less than successful temperature-taking early on, I decided that the digital thermometer that came with a baby toiletry kit wasn't going to cut it. We had used that thermometer to try to take an underarm temperature when we were afraid Jacob was overheating in our hot house, and it just never seemed to get a solid temperature. So...off to Walmart I went to buy an ear thermometer, which Jacob is now old enough for and I had been meaning to get sometime soon anyway. When I got home and finally figured out how to use it, he had a temperature of 100. I called the doctor and they said to give him Tylenol. If it sticks around for three days, we need to call back to make sure he doesn't have an ear infection. The Tylenol worked like a charm for the fever. He ate fine, cracked a few smiles and went to bed without much problem. He woke up once at 5:30, but a little snuggling and he was fine until I woke him up to eat this morning.

After much back and forth, Craig and I finally figured out that he would take the morning and I would take the afternoon. He had to be home to wait for a plumber anyway (our bathtub faucet is leaking a bunch--nothing a few hundred bucks won't fix), so he just stuck around until I could come home at 1. I would have gotten out of work early today anyway, but took a sick half day so I could be home sooner. His temperature was probably low enough that we could still have sent him to daycare, but 1) I don't want anyone else's sick kid there, so I shouldn't send mine either; and 2) He was so cranky with Craig this morning that he didn't want to "dump him off" on them. He wouldn't eat much for Craig earlier, but he had a very good feeding when I got home and was happy and laughing for a good hour, I think. Then he started to get a little cranky and I rocked him to sleep. He woke up a bit when I put him down, and has made a bit of noise twice since then, but each time he seems to drift back off. When he wakes up he'll be due for another dose of Tylenol, and hopefully I can finish packing his stuff up for our Thanksgiving travels.

I don't know what's causing the fever at this point. He's always pretty congested--it's never really let up since the bronchiolitis. His cough is less frequent and usually less painful-sounding than it used to be. Hard to tell if he's just going to have they daycare perma-cold for the rest of the winter now, or if the bronchiolitis remnants just happened to run into a couple colds and the fever is part of this particular cold. It crossed my mind that he might be teething, since he seemed to be sucking on his fingers a lot today. I didn't feel anything, but I have no idea how much you can feel before a tooth actually breaks through the skin. In any event, I'm hoping this clears up soon. We have a few very busy days ahead and I was really looking forward to hanging out with my normally happy little boy! I guess we'll just be packing the thermometer and Tylenol, once again hauling the humidifer along for the trip, and hoping for the best.

If I don't get a chance to blog tomorrow, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there!

The Holidays

The holidays are coming and I can hardly believe it. Practically seems like a couple months ago that I was nervous about seeing family at Thanksgiving and not letting on that I felt like crap because I was in the middle of my first trimester. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was dragging myself through decorating for Christmas and packing for our trip to Florida feeling sooo exhausted. I remember marveling at the thought of having a 4-6 month old baby by the holidays this year, looking at our nephew Grant and thinking our baby would be right around his age by this year. And sure enough, here we are. We have an amazing five month old little boy and we've survived parenthood pretty well so far.

I remember thinking last year as I struggled through Christmas shopping and decorating that doing the Christmas thing exhausted and nauseous was one thing...but doing it in and around a baby's schedule would be something entirely different. And from what I can tell so far, I was absolutely right. Gone are the days where Craig and I could head out to the mall together at 9pm to get in an hour or two of shopping minus the crowds. This year we'll either be going early or going solo late, with one of us staying home while Jacob sleeps. Lately I've been doing my grocery shopping at 9 or 9:30, once Jacob is fed and in bed. It's just easier to do that than to work around his feedings or cart him around (he's HEAVY these days) and hope he doesn't freak out in the middle of the store. For the most part he's a good baby and doesn't even cry that loud most of the time, but it's still a helpless feeling when you're out in public and your baby is screaming. I can go out with him just fine, but a lot of times I simply choose not to. It just makes the quick in-and-out running around I used to do a lot harder. There are days I'm willing to attempt it, and some days that I'm just not.

As a result, Christmas preparations are going to need to be more organized and streamlined than ever. I'll need to get my lists together ASAP, figure out if any trips can be combined, and focus on the best uses of my time. I am still probably going to take one day of vacation in the next couple weeks (hopefully my lists are coming together by then) where I send Jacob to day care, get as much shopping done as possible, and go pick him up a little earlier than usual. I think that's going to be the best way to get things done. I tried shopping with him a little this weekend at the mall, and I just wasn't into it. I was worried about him getting hungry and I just didn't want to take the time to try things on or really look around. And manuvering a stroller through some stores is nearly impossible. Based on running around this weekend, I think weekday shopping is wise. Crowds were already terrible this weekend. Annoying when it's just you, but extra inconvenient when you need to have a stroller or cart and everyone else's carts are blocking everything! Add a crying baby into that and I'm headed to the insane asylum.

Even getting decorations out at home is going to be a challenge. I think once they're up Jacob is going to have a blast with them, but just finding the time and energy to get up all of the bins and put everything out is going to be tough. And just wait until next year when everything needs to be baby-proof...yikes! But for this year I am looking forward to his reaction to all the lights, and hopefully he'll be ready to do a little tearing of wrapping paper in another month. He may not get it yet, but he may like that sensation nonetheless.

There's so much to do and I have a lot to organize in the next month. Holy cow, it really is a month...one month from right now we'll be hanging out with Craig's family for their annual Christmas Eve get together. Wow. It's coming quick...and I better get ready!

Why do I always choose wrong?

I swear, I am so bad at reading Jacob sometimes. Or at the very least, I have bad luck. For whatever reason, when Craig brings Jacob home, they always manage to have a nap together. Jacob falls asleep in the car on the way home, and somehow Craig gets him in the house, out of his seat, and on his chest without too much trouble. They nap until I get home, and Jacob is in a good mood most of the night because he's well rested. I never can get him to fall asleep. I carry him around, rock him, try to lay down with him, put him in the swing. He cries if I put him down and squirms if I hold him. I know he's tired, but he fights it like crazy. I'm convinced that part of the problem is that with me he can smell the breastmilk...he gets tired and would rather eat than sleep. I can feed him and he gets sleepy, but the moment I try to move (generally to try to lay him down), he wakes up and starts fighting all over again.

Tonight we got home from daycare and I tried rocking him a bit, walking around with him, anything to get him to take a nap before he got too cranky. I could tell he was tired, but no dice. Eventually he melted down and I had to feed him. He was sleepy afterward but sure enough, wide awake shortly thereafter. I desperately wanted to eat dinner but nothing was working to get him to sleep. Finally, after letting him cry while I ate a Hot Pocket with one hand, I rocked him a LONG time (which was so hard with my sore arms from last night's workout), and he conked out. I figured he'd sleep about a half hour or so (his norm), wake up before 9, eat and go to bed. I let him sleep on me because I hadn't done that with him in a while and I didn't want to wake him up. Well, over two hours later, he was still asleep and I was well on my way. So much for waking up and eating. I finally got up, took him into his room and changed him for bed. Of course, he never fully woke up and instead was writhing around half asleep, making it almost impossible to change him. I managed to get him in bed still half asleep and without much fuss, but now I'm wondering if he's going to wake up hungry at 3am or something crazy like that.

The point of all of this is that even with a wonderful and generally predictable baby I still have a hard time guessing what to do. The other night I had a similar situation...I can't remember the circumstances exactly, but I just know that I felt trapped by decisions. Like I misjudged timing in something and it left me in an awkward position for something else. I just feel like I never read him completely right, and it drives me nuts! This sleeping thing is at the top of the list.

My mom was talking to me last weekend about putting him in his crib to nap. I haven't done it a lot, to be honest. When I was home on maternity leave I used to try to get him to sleep in his pack 'n' play or he'd fall asleep in the boppy (supervised by me, of course). I had read somewhere that keeping the crib for night time sent the signal that it was time to sleep longer, and that seemed like a good plan. And honestly, that seemed to work well. If I were still home with him during the day I would have had to switch to the crib at some point, but obviously that only happens on weekends. On weekends there isn't a lot of opportunity to get a good schedule. Either we're out and about and he sleeps in his carseat (many times he'll be sleeping when we get home and we'll leave him there until he wakes up--he's comfortable, right?), or he'll fall asleep on one of us and we're just so happy to be with him that we'll just sit there and let him sleep. Times like tonight when he's fussy, I'm hesitant to use the crib for two reasons...first, it's dark out already and I don't want him thinking it's bedtime and falling asleep for good at 7:00, practically right after we get home. Not only does that leave him no time with us, but it would probably set him up to wake up at 5am. Second, if he's cranky and I try to put him in there, I don't want him to start having a negative association with the crib because of naptime and start giving us trouble there at bedtime. It's such a tough call sometimes.

So, yeah, weird night. I'm just hoping he sleeps ok despite a less than routine bedtime process and an early last feeding. We should have fun tomorrow, though, as long as I can read him well enough to get through the day unscathed!

Forgot to mention...

Yesterday Jacob officially turned five months! Crazy! I can hardly believe it. Though it feels like he's been around forever now, it just blows my mind to think that five months and two seasons have gone by since he was born. He's getting to be such a big boy with his own little personality (a fun one for the most part, thank goodness!). We celebrated the big day by going out to the Chinese buffet. Yeah, I know...but I had worked out and we were starving by the time I got home at 7...and buffets don't make you wait for your food. Plus, I had been craving Chinese forever. I was shocked later on when I realized it has been at least six months since we were there last. We haven't been there since Jacob was born, and I don't know if we went there in the last month or so before that. Even still, we used to go there once every month or two (whenever we had a coupon) and it was amazing to think it had been that long.

While we were bundling Jacob up to go, he got into this awesome giggle fit. He had just woken up from a nap, and as I was putting on his winter hat and mittens, he just started laughing. I don't know if he was laughing at anything in particular, but anything I did was simply hilarious and he'd just bust out in giggles. Good laughs like that are still few and far between (but getting more frequent every week), so it was really fun while it lasted. I have looked forward to moments like that for months, because it's nice to know when your baby is really truly happy, particularly after those first few months of expressionless contentment. You know your baby's more or less ok because they're not crying, but beyond that you have no idea if they're feeling great or just so-so. Finally the smiles start and you get more of an idea what's going on with them, but laughs are a sure-fire way to know they're happy. And that's a good feeling.

Today is his last day with his normal late afternoon caretaker, who is leaving to be a stay-at-home mom. I'm sad she's leaving because Jacob really seems to like her a lot, and I enjoy talking with her when I go to pick him up. I have no idea if Jacob will know enough to miss her yet. If not I suppose that's good, but on the other hand it's a little sad because he won't remember that she was an important part of his world for a few months. I'm happy for her that she won't have to use the services of his soon-to-be-former employer, but it's sad to see her go. But man, she's got a great base of knowledge for a first-time mom, eh?

Should be a relatively pleasant weekend, with enough to keep us busy but nothing too crazy. Probably some shopping with Godmother Lori tomorrow and hopefully some time with Craig in and around Knighthawks training camp. Then we only have a three day week before four whole days with Jacob...woohoo! Happy Weekend :)

Puppies

The other day my mom sent me a link to a camera watching a litter of puppies. Turns out there were a few others as well. For your viewing pleasure:

Golden Doodles

Havanese Harbor

Shiba Inu

White Miniature Schnauzers

Belgian Tervuren

All of them are so incredibly cute. Remember back in the spring when I compared my webcam viewing of hatching birds to my impending parenthood? Same deal here...I look at cameras like these cameras from a whole different perspective now that I'm a mom, for many reasons:

1) I can sympathize with the mama dog when she's nursing. However, she's got it much worse...she's got 6-8 puppies chasing after her, and they've got teeth! However, it doesn't appear she spends a ton of other time with them, so I suppose on that front she gets off easy. She did have to carry around all those puppies though....and I can't imagine having that many legs kicking me from the inside. (Often thought about that while watching Jon & Kate Plus 8, too.)

2) The puppies' cycles remind me of Jacob. They have their active playful periods, and then the next thing I know, they're all sleeping. It's funnier to watch en masse, when suddenly all these active puppies are down for the count, sprawled all over each other. It reminds me of Jacob and how he does much the same sometimes...wide awake to a complete "I'm tired" meltdown. Unfortunately, Jacob tends to fight it rather than immediately plopping down and sleeping.

3) They sleep in funny positions, and so does Jacob. He's now taken to sleeping with his butt in the air. No matter how we put him in his crib or how many times we go back to flip him over, he ends up on his knees with his butt in the air. Still scary to have him like that, but we can't fight it at this point other than to flip him when we can. Most of the time it seems like his face is turned to the side so he can breathe ok (once in a while I wish he'd turn it just a little more!), but I suppose the fact that he's up on his knees means less pressure on his chest when he breathes. The puppies are classic, though....on top of each other, on their backs with feet in the air...so cute. And in both cases, sleep looks oh so peaceful.

4) All the little movements remind me of Jacob. Puppies have the famous "chasing a squirrel" dream that gets their legs moving in their sleep. Jacob only moves in his sleep once in a while, but he smiles a lot...enough to make you wonder what he's dreaming about. When the puppies are awake, you can watch them explore, find a chew toy, and take in the world around them. I see Jacob do much the same--trying to figure out how all these body parts work in his own clumsy way, looking around at the world with wonder. He's slowly getting better at grasping toys, and he's discovering his toes. So cute to watch. The one thing that differs is that the puppies are a lot more mobile than Jacob...but I have this feeling when I watch them run and climb around that if Jacob could do those things, he totally would be!

I also find it funny that lately in the comic strip For Better or For Worse, they've been covering this topic a bit--the similarities between puppies and babies...from getting peed on to teething to the high energy level that both possess. I think when it comes right down to it, babies and puppies are both so sweet and innocent to the core. They're these tiny little beings, so ready to learn and grow that they expend all of their energy in one big burst and head off into a peaceful sleep....only to wake up and eagerly do it all over again. They're a blank slate, so full of potential and so excited to explore it. And lucky us that we get to watch it all happen.