Syracuse, The Better Part

We woke up on Monday, took some Chocolate Chex down to breakfast for Jacob while the rest of us squeezed into a table and sampled the continental breakfast, then headed out to the Rosamond Gifford Zoo.  We'd never been there, which seems silly considering how much we enjoy zoos and how close this one is to home!  But then again, that was sort of the point of this trip.  Since Carter's not at a good place to tolerate long drives (he's too old to sleep through, but too young to enjoy a movie), we figured we'd just stay close to home this year and do something more exciting next year.  We'd talked about doing a couple things in Syracuse recently, so this trip just sort of fell into place once we confirmed that we could hit up a couple baseball games, too.

The entrance to the zoo was much grander than our zoo in Rochester, which sort of surprised me.  The first part of the zoo is inside, which was another surprise.  The first indoor section was a miniature aquarium, including an octopus.  I think they're so cool, and when we came back through on our way out, he was even moving a bit more.  They're so weird, but awesome.

I just love little poison dart frogs.  Their colors are so amazing.  I loved this shot with four different ones...yellow, orange, black and blue, and white, blue, and black. 

The second indoor section was an aviary.  I get nervous about exotic bird poop, but I love funky birds...

There was a set of nocturnal animals, including the most active sloth I've ever seen!  This picture does not do it justice (though I did take some video that I hope to upload one of these days), but you can see the sloth's arms and legs as he crawled down the branches.  I swear, I thought sloths were just a ball of fur for the first couple decades of my life.  I never saw them move!

One of my favorite parts of this trip was seeing Carter react to the animals.  He still doesn't entirely get it, but he genuinely responded and it was fun to see.  Here he is checking out the lions...

He also loved the meerkats and loved when one kept running toward us...

We saw some monkeys and finally headed outside to a giant monkey enclosure.  The best part was that one of the monkeys had a baby clinging to it!  Later on the baby popped off, which was pretty cute, too.

The whole first part of the zoo was spent listening to Jacob demand to see the penguins.  He loves his stuffed penguins, and a recent viewing of Mr. Popper's Penguins refreshed his interest.  When we got there, the penguins were swimming and looking cute.  We walked over to the dry land portion of the enclosure, and suddenly one penguin took an interest in us.  Then he was joined by two others, and the original one was totally digging me.

Never had a staring contest with a penguin, but this one was totally game!

And I don't think it gets any better than these penguins...

The picture of the day was actually taken by Craig.  They had this photo op tiger, and Carter wouldn't go on it without me, so I had to be in the picture.  I didn't realize until after Craig took the picture that Jacob was pulling on the tiger's tail.  Awesome!

When we got to the wolves, we hoped Carter would like them because he loves dogs right now.  He did get a kick out of them, and apparently Jacob liked them enough to base his souvenir choice on them. 

Really pretty!  After this picture he walked over to another one and they both took a snooze in the sun.

They had this strange breed of deer.  They were huge, and there were two that liked the mud pit directly below us!  There was another one sitting in a different spot that had a giant antler.  I swear it was a good three feet high!  His other antler was broken off at less than a foot.  He looked like he had a tree branch growing out of his head.

They also had Asian elephants, and the trainers had this one walking back and forth across the enclosure for food.  So cool.  Carter liked him, especially when I reminded him of my elephant sound!

Here is Jacob with an elephant skull...

And here he is "milking a cow" in the farm section.  Craig has a hidden talent, by the way :)

It had been a hot morning and we were all ready for a break by the time we finished at the zoo.  Unfortunately, we couldn't eat there so we had to find somewhere else...only the kids fell asleep almost instantly in the car.  We ended up picking up some Arby's while the kids slept and eventually found a spot to eat it until the naps were sufficiently long enough.  Next on our agenda: the Syracuse University campus!

Craig went to SU for his master's degree, so it holds a special place in his heart, despite the fact that those years were pretty tough for him.  We've been to the campus before for lacrosse games, but we hadn't really had a chance to wander around.  We parked on Marshall Street just off the main part of the campus and found a spot for the boys to eat their lunches.  We walked back down Marshall St. and stopped in a couple SU apparel stores.  One store was buy one get one free on most stuff, so when Jacob got a pair of lacrosse shorts, I got a free long sleeved t-shirt, my first SU apparel!

The first building we saw was Newhouse, the Communications school that Craig graduated from.  He spent a lot of time in the brown building in the back, but the fancy modern part in the front is newer.

The architecture on the campus is really interesting.  Lots of different eras and styles, presumably from lots of different benefactors.  Here's a sampling...

 

 

In the one courtyard, there was a statue that I recognized right away.  There is a picture of Craig and his brother (I believe from Craig's graduation day) where Craig is next to it, Brad is up on Abraham Lincoln, and some random Chinese kid is sitting on the opposite side.  It's just a funny picture and I remember it sitting on Craig's desk for years.  The guys posed for their own version...

 

We were all pretty hot by this point, so we wandered back over to Marshall St. in search of some sort of slushie.  There were yogurt places and a cookie shop, but nothing that seemed safe for Jacob or appealing for what we really wanted.  We walked up to Starbucks at the far end of the view below, just to see if they had anything, but then gave up and headed back to the car. 

 

We made our way back to the hotel, and had an accidental, fortunate detour that dropped us off at a Taco Bell during their drink happy hour...so three slushies later (Dr Pepper Vanilla for the boys, Mountain Dew Baja Blast for me), we were back at our hotel to cool off and get ready for that night's baseball game.  We also had to figure out our dinner plans, which we were hoping would include my college roommate Mary.  We had to work around Jacob's issues, her work schedule, and trying to get to the stadium easily, but we finally worked out a plan--Jacob ate a peanut butter sandwich at the hotel (he was OK with it, I swear), and the rest of us ate at Quizno's, where he could also snack on some chips while we ate.  It actually turned out pretty good and it was great to see Mary.  She's so fun to hang out with, and it's so awesome to have a friend like her, where no matter how much time passes, we're still fine (I'm actually blessed to have two--my oldest friend Heather is the other, and I desperately owe her an email!!).  And...I get to see Mary again in a month!  For an entire 24 hours!  Without kids!  For a concert!  That is the only redeeming quality of September at this point, actually.

 

So...after dinner we headed off to the Syracuse Chiefs game.  And it was right about then that things went downhill a bit.  We'd had a good, productive day without any major issues...but that was about to change...

Auburn

On Sunday we got up and went to church as usual.  We came home, had lunch, and then I ran around like a maniac trying to get packed.  In the meantime, Carter was overtired but I really wanted him to nap in the car.  We actually got going on time for a change, and off to Auburn we went.  Since they told me they didn't have any gluten-free dinner-type foods at their concession stand, we opted to stop at a nearby McDonald's to grab some dinner before the game.  It was actually a really cool McDonald's, with a fun 50s theme (a bunch of kids got to the fancy car booth just before we did--bummer) and a huge Playplace.

 

After Jacob finished up his food, he was eager to go play basketball.  It was free, so he played a ton!

Once Carter finished up his food, we headed in as well and he wandered around a giant Happy Meal box...

Eventually we headed off to the game.  The 5pm start was a little weird for dinner, but it was perfect for the rest of our schedule.  The game would get over early enough to get us back in the car and to our hotel at a reasonable time.  It cooled down a little from the heat of the day, but was warm enough to not need jackets.  It was just a beautiful night.  It was actually hot in the sun, but knowing the cooler weather that was coming later in the week, I tried not to complain. 

Auburn has a small stadium, much like Batavia, which we've been to a lot more.  In fact, they're nearly identical.  Perfect for small kids.  We ended up with general admission seats because someone gave us two free ones as we walked toward the box office!

We haven't been to Auburn since Jacob was two.  Batavia is so similar that he confused the two a lot when trying to remember, but the hat and shirt he had were both products of that trip that have been hanging out ever since.  Once we got there, Jacob wanted to spend a lot of time in the kids' zone, of course.  He loved doing the pitching...

Note the fake batter and catcher...and in case you're wondering, he threw around 20 mph!

 ...and he really liked that the batting was free and unlimited!

He had a heck of a time, though, because the ball was a little high and I think he's getting a little caught up in "style" instead of functionality.  He'd rather imitate other people right now than rely on the fundamentally sound practices he used in-season.  Oh, well.

As usual, Carter had his eye on the mascot, in this case a guy with a crazy mustache named Abner.  The Geico gecko was also there.  Carter spent a lot of time that night wanting to wander, and a few times he'd chase down Abner, only to turn and flee when he got too close.  He finally got to high five him when I was holding him. 

Eventually we gave up trying to sit in the seats because Jacob wanted to play and Carter wanted to walk.  We went back to the kids' zone, got a snack, filled up cups with water, and pretty much just wandered a lot.  We settled down under a tent to snack...

Thank goodness for naturally gluten-free peanuts!

Jacob was really good for most of the day, though he started to get a little annoyed about the big kid that kept running into this area for the half dozen-plus foul balls that fell there (again, small park!).  He camped himself out there for a while late in the game, but no luck...

The game finally ended and we made one last walk down to the kids' zone because that was the setup spot for kids to run the bases postgame.  We were standing near the opposing team's bullpen watching a guy work out, and just then an umpire walked by on his way off the field and handed me two game balls, one for each kid!

Both were excited, despite Carter's indifference in this picture!

After that it was off to run the bases!  Jacob is an old pro now...

And this was Carter's first time...with help from Daddy!

Whenever we do this, we can't help but reminisce about when Jacob ran the bases in Pittsburgh when he was two, and he committed the cardinal sin of running into the infield right before he hit home plate, and before Craig could grab him.  The workers nearly had a heart attack!  At least minor league parks are a little less crazy about that!

A successful night was had all around, and we loaded into the car to drive another half hour or so to Syracuse to find our hotel and settle in for the night.  Along the way, I somehow managed to capture this picture of the crazy moon from a moving car!  It was so pretty...and so big!

It was a fun little drive through a lot of countryside and our hotel was right off the Thruway.  We got settled in pretty well, though neither kid really wanted to go to sleep.  Carter had picked up a bit of a cold over the previous 24 hours, and he had a hard time settling into his pack-and-play.  Jacob is always beyond hyper in hotels, but at least now I'm prepared to just turn out the lights at 9pm and sneak in a few minutes on my iPod Touch under the covers if I can.  Hence why this blog post is many days later than I'd like it to be, but whatever keeps our sanity, right?  All in all it wasn't a bad start to the trip.  A couple moments, perhaps, but generally really good for being off our usual schedule. 

We got a good night's sleep in preparation for taking Syracuse by storm the next day...

Pre-Vacation

I guess I inadvertently had a little blog vacation since I haven't posted in over a week.  Let's just say that things have been busy, mostly in a good way.  On the bright side, the lack of posts usually means that no parenting issue is bothering me enough to necessitate a post.  This blog is a great way to vent and talk through things, and if nothing is eating away enough at me to post it, I suppose that's good.  Boring, but good. 

Most of last week was spent gearing up for this week's vacation.  We're both off work, though Craig is still having to chip away at a major long-term project and I spent many hours last week working in the evenings to clear out as many projects as possible before being away from the office for a week.  If I don't do it, no one does, and I didn't want things sitting around that long.  So by Friday morning I really only needed to work a couple hours to finish off my week, which I actually had to put in on Saturday anyway...so Friday could have been skipped entirely, which was even more annoying since I took a half day of vacation for a weeding we were attending that afternoon.  My parents came into town to watch the kids for the night, which was so great.  The kids did well, and we had a really lovely evening out. 

I don't want to bore you, with pictures of a wedding of people you don't know (former co-worker of ours--from both my era and recently for Craig), but it was a really pretty, photogenic wedding, and obviously I love taking pictures!  So here are a few to set the stage for our vacation...

The church was the chapel at Nazareth College.  I briefly considered Nazareth when they started sending me literature when I was in high school, but I think the more sensible financial scenario of Geneseo won out pretty easily.  The chapel and the campus were really pretty, though...

Some of Geneseo's buildings have a similar feel, but they're not quite as beautifully maintained, nor are they quite this grand.

 I loved the stained glass window above the altar...so pretty.

The ceremony was nice and very personalized to them (while still being very traditional), which is always more fun.  We stuck around after to chat with Craig's co-workers, and happened to catch some of the wedding photos.  Turns out that gorgeous building made a nice backdrop for photos...

The reception was at a local winery that neither of us had ever been to.  It was really beautiful, though.  And I couldn't resist snapping a picture of some grapes near where we parked...

On the vine!

 And I couldn't resist this rose on the way in...

I was very excited by the hard cider option at the open bar, since I'm not really a beer or wine person.  Definite points on that one!  We enjoyed the lovely weather out on the deck, and I made Craig take a selfie in front of the vineyards...

The inside room was pretty, as well, and the dance floor was perfectly placed.  Tell me that is not a gorgeous view...

The food was great and we really enjoyed our time there.  They had a photo booth and they even provided a little pouch for the strip with a magnet on the back, so it's gracing our fridge as I type!  Instead of a guest book they had a painting of a tree and everyone had to pick a leaf to write their names.  Their DJ made them play a cute version of the Newlywed Game--less corny than I'd have thought and it moved along nicely.  They had sticks with bride and groom rubber duckies on the ends to answer the questions, and sat back to back.  It was cute.  I was a tiny bit disappointed that there wasn't a traditional wedding cake (they cut a small one but that was it--none was served), but the alternative was pretty darn awesome...


S'mores Bar!

Yes, a s'mores bar with regular grahams, chocolate grahams, Ritz crackers, regular chocolate, cookies & cream chocolate, Reese's peanut butter cups, Andes candies, peanut butter, and possibly Nutella.  Plus all of the marshmallows you could want, both on skewers and in bowls.  They had three charcoal-filled pans to roast over.  It was awesome.

We went home very full, but thankfully we had a low-key day ahead to prepare for our vacation.  Not that we didn't keep plenty busy, but I wasn't feeling great the next day, so that slowed things down a bit more.  I can't say that it was a hangover since I only had a few drinks over the four hours we were there, but perhaps the rich combination messed me up.  Carter was also a little iffy in the diaper region, so perhaps I got what he had.  I had to do a little packing and preparing, but a lot of that got finished up on Sunday...and on time, no less!

More on our vacation soon...but for now, bed!

Soccer!

Last Friday was an interesting day.

It was a normal day of work and all, but it had some twists and turns.  I went out to lunch with my boss and the intern who we've had for over a year and hoped to hire, only to have the powers that be thwart our efforts.  Friday was her last day so we took her out to Chipotle, and who was sitting down to eat on the patio when we arrived but Craig and a few of his co-workers.  Small world! We didn't eat together but it was nice to glance over and see him there.

We had decided earlier in the week to go to the Rhinos game that night.  We haven't been to one in ages, and the summer is rapidly dwindling.  One of Craig's best friends (and I guy I worked with for years, as well) works there, so we have a nice connection for tickets.  I got a little nervous, however, as I walked out of work, because the pleasant day had suddenly turned stormy.  I stepped off the elevator into the parking garage at work, and in the blink of an eye I saw a flash of lightning and heard thunder a mere millisecond later.  I barely had time to process the lightning before the boom hit.  Yikes.  I drove through torrential downpours halfway home, but when I got to Greece, I realized the roads were dry! 

Back at home we checked the radar to ensure the game would be happening, and while we were packing up to go, there was another cell working its way northeast.  Originally I thought it might just graze our area, but soon enough the black sky was upon us and it started to rain...hard.  And then it started to HAIL.  Twice.  It rained really hard for at least 20 minutes straight.  It was crazy, but it was fun introducing Jacob to the hail.  He was fascinated by the ice balls, which were between pebble and dime-sized.  Carter was not a fan and simply wanted to be attached to me for the whole thing as we watched from the porch.  Eventually the weather passed and we headed out for a quick fast food meal on our way to the game. 

We got to the game a little late, but it had been delayed a bit anyway and the kids' ability to sit and watch is always a little iffy, so I don't worry too much when we miss a bit.  As we arrived, the weather was pleasant, though there was a definite dampness in the air since everything was saturated.  The sunset looked pretty cool, as it was a giant red ball.  This picture does not do it justice, but rest assured, the sun was a red ball with crisp edges and no cloud interference.

We sat down (thank goodness I remembered to bring a towel!) and enjoyed the rest of the first half.  Carter was cracking everyone up because he kept pointing to the field and saying "ball" over and over again.  He was bouncing to music and absolutely loving it.

My boys!

 The clouds stuck around, but no more rain fell and it was a pleasant night. 

The building with the red lettering on top is Kodak's headquarters...the rest of the skyline is behind the scoreboard.  My building is actually blocked by the left leg.

We purposely stuck around through the end of the game, even though I'm usually hesitant because late nights are tough.  Jacob really wanted to go on the field and it was a nice chance to test out fireworks with Carter.  We went down to the field to watch.  This picture doesn't show you much in the way of fireworks, but it gives you an idea of our vantage point...

This picture is blurry because I had the "fireworks" setting on and between a slow shutter and trying to hold Carter with one arm and the camera with the other hand, I was only able to get a blurry picture with a cool fireworks effect...

Love the look of the fireworks here when you zoom in.  Sorry about the people.

The boys enjoyed running around on the turf...

And for the record, Carter didn't even flinch with the fireworks...though they weren't too loud, either.

Watching Jacob play on the turf brought back memories of one of the last times I remember him doing that, as shown in this post.  He was only two then, less than a year older than Carter is now.  Back then he was so small in comparison to so many of the kids that were playing, and he had a hard time making it through his playtime unscathed as there were kids and balls flying past him.  This time he did his own thing off to the side until the net was freed up, but it amazed me to realize how big he's gotten.

He just wanted to be out there and didn't care that he wasn't playing with the real goal.  Kudos to him for being patient.  He got his chance, though.

It was a pretty late night by the time we finished chatting with some friends and headed home, but the boys went down fine and it was a good night as a whole.  I'm so thankful the weather cleared to allow us to go!

Saturday we had big plans, as well, but they were a big secret!  My cousin (and Jacob's godmother) Lori is turning 30 this week, and one of her good friends set out earlier in the summer to do a big surprise birthday party for her.  She had settled on a date quite a while back and the task for most of the summer had been to plan and keep it a secret.  In the past couple weeks things nearly went awry because Lori set up some plans to spend a long weekend with some friends of hers who had rented a cottage in the Thousand Islands.  Ironically, those friends who invited her were invited to the party but forgot, and Lori was planning on leaving the day of the party!  Everyone had to scramble a bit, but it all worked out in the end.  I contributed some pictures for some photo boards, and made a double batch of a family favorite casserole that Lori loves, and we headed off to the late afternoon party.  It was a hot afternoon and the rain had held off (and was supposed to hold off for the most part), and Lori's friends Ken and Mandy had a really nice setup in their backyard.  We all eagerly awaited Lori's arrival, and she sure was surprised when she got there!  She had a slight inkling something was up the night before, but she had no idea what was in the works!

I was too far back in the yard to get a great shot of the initial reaction (she doubled over), but I did catch this shot once she was once again upright and was finishing wiping the tears out from behind her glasses.  Mandy (the planner) is on the right, and my Aunt Lynne (Lori's mom) is on the left.

There was plenty of family in town to celebrate, and quite a few friends.  Jacob enjoyed snacking and was a very good boy despite not having a lot of stuff to do.  Carter rarely strayed far from me, but he did like sitting on that toy in the background of the picture!  The food was awesome and it was fun to look at all of the old pictures.  As we were eating, however, the gray clouds started to roll in and we could hear thunder rumbling.  We rushed through dessert and then started to break down most of the party to bring inside.  Despite the crowd we still enjoyed another hour or so indoors.  The rain never got crazy bad while we were there, but it was in other places.  We've had some pretty good storms on and off since that batch on Friday and we're all ready for the rain to be done.

Sunday was a pretty low-key day.  I did some yard work and laundry and paid bills, and the boys watched Scooby-Doo and played some baseball outside while the weather cooperated.  Carter napped.  It really hasn't been nice enough for the pool lately, which has been a bummer.  We went out for a nice dinner at Jacob's favorite place, Pizzeria Uno (yay for a $15 off $30 coupon--with leftovers to boot!), and did some quick shopping.  Now we're into another week.  The bad news is that I have a crazy amount of work to do, and I'm currently alone in my department with my boss on vacation and my fellow analyst at home sick with the plague (seriously, she's been sick since midday Thursday and still had a fever as of Monday morning--God forbid I get that!).  The good news is that vacation is looming, but I have so much to do before that happens.  I have a feeling I will be doing some work over the weekend or during my vacation just to keep up.  UGH.  We also have a wedding on Friday night, but no other set plans for the weekend until we hopefully leave on our "vacation" Sunday.  More on that soon...

Two It Is

I haven't heard the question a lot, but I have heard it--"Are you going to try for a girl?"  I've discussed this topic here before, so perhaps this is beating a dead horse, but now that we're nearly 18 months removed from Carter's birth, I guess I want to revisit it a bit because I feel like things are clearer for me than even I expected they would be.

I said for years that we'd be stopping at two, though I did say that if #2 was a boy, there was a tiny chance we'd go for #3.  Still, the risk of ending up with boy #3 was daunting, and while I know we'd love another boy just as much, going through all of that and not getting a daughter seems a little...I don't know...pointless, maybe?  Aside from having a girl who can be my dear friend forever (without, in theory, completely alienating her spouse, as I feel like is the big challenge with boys as they grow up and get married), I feel like there's nothing about parenthood that I can't experience with my two boys.  Sure, there are girl things I'd like to relive, but there are lots of girl things that I think I wouldn't like as much, so perhaps I should just take my two boys as a sign that I'm not cut out for that.

I've always heard people say that after they had a child, they felt their family was complete.  I can't say that I've had that specific feeling, but I can say that I emphatically feel "done".  There is a part of me that melts when in the presence of a newborn and loves all those tiny baby things--squeaks, uncoordinated movements, tiny toes--but honestly, I just can't fathom doing it all again.  I'm fascinated by seeing how our genes combine, and I love watching babies grow and learn and turn into little people.  On some level I'd love to see what #3 would be like, boy or girl.  But to do it again for that reason would be foolish and at least partly selfish.  There are so many reasons it would be a bad idea.  Let's explore, shall we?

Jacob - We've made no secret of Jacob's dislike of his brother.  Not only doesn't he like him, but he truly doesn't love him, which is so sad.  He has no concern for his well being, and he really wants nothing to do with him.  I hope that someday that will change, but geez, what if it doesn't?  I can't imagine bringing another child into this family that Jacob could resent.  And I have no desire to keep another kid out of Jacob's stuff.  If every other reason didn't exist and this was the only thing stopping us, I might just tell him to suck it up and deal (which we do tell him anyway), but given that all the reasons below exist, this is just one more to add to the list.

Health - If the kids we had were generally healthy and didn't have any random medical issues, perhaps I'd be more open to having another.  But with Jacob's behavior issues and Celiac disease, and Carter's former rice intolerance, along with the reflux and cow's milk protein issues both have had, I really have no desire to see what surprises #3 would have up their sleeve.  As annoying as the issues are, I know they're not super serious, and I always worry that #3 would be the one to give us a doozy...or God forbid, we have a third and one of the other two comes out with something even bigger and makes everything impossibly overwhelming.  On a more practical level, dealing with two sick kids at a time (or in a row) seems like enough.  I don't need to add any more to that, nor do I have enough sick days to get through the year.

Space - If we had another kid, we'd either have to buy another house or combine bedrooms.  If Jacob couldn't peacefully share space with Carter, then we'd have to switch rooms entirely to have Carter share with a sibling.  No thanks.  We'd also have to buy a van, not just to fit all of the car seats, but to fit everything we'd need to be able to go anywhere for more than a few hours.  Two kids have enough stuff.  And the toys...we don't really have room for more boy toys, and we certainly wouldn't have room for a whole new slew of girl toys!  I've always said that the world is built for families of four--three bedroom houses, your average sedan, booths at restaurants, two person amusement park rides, two-parent man-to-man defense--and adding a third throws everything for a loop.

Money - Daycare alone is crazy, let alone another mouth to feed...particularly if that mouth needs an unexpected couple thousand dollars worth of formula to get through the first year of life.  Then add in the medical costs (per my point above), and any sports or other activities they'd want to do when they got older.  And, of course, if it's a girl, there are so many new things we'd want to buy.  Not to mention that we'd need a new car seat, since the infant one was technically "expired" and definitely on its last legs when we retired it.  But again, the potential of a new house and/or new car adds to the cost, and if we ever want to go on vacation again, two kids is plenty to wrangle and pay for (or, quite frankly, drop off with the grandparents once in a while).

Exhaustion - I didn't find two kids to be that overwhelming early on, but the older Carter has gotten and with Jacob's entrance into school and sports, things ratcheted up a bit over the past year.  I am constantly burning the candle at both ends, and I hate it.  I love my kids and my husband and I wouldn't be doing this sort of craziness for anyone else, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't make me nuts to always be so harried.  I can't imagine throwing yet another kid's needs and activities into our schedule.  Add into it that Craig is gone most weekends for about half the year, and I only have two hands.  So three kids out in public would be beyond overwhelming, meaning we'd spend half the year holed up in our house, with me frustrated at my inability to get things done.  I already feel like home and work each suffer at the expense of each other, and I can't even imagine how tired I'd be with a third.

Me - I'm not exactly a spring chicken anymore, you know.  I wasn't that young when I started having kids, and having #2 at the ripe old age of 34-1/2 wasn't exactly the original plan.  A lot of times you hear about the risks of having kids after 35--increased risks for almost everything--and I'm not really prepared to take those risks at this point.  Pregnancy was hard enough with one kid, let alone two.  My last pregnancy was tough all around, with the exception of a few months in the middle, and after having Carter three weeks early, I wonder if it could possibly get worse.  With two kids to take care of already, it's such a big risk.  And you know, the older I get, the harder it is to maintain the energy and enthusiasm for playing and being active with them. 

Progress - Remember how I posted a while back about liking progress?  I think a lot of that plays into this, too.  I wouldn't change anything for the world, but I'll admit that it's nice to get past certain phases of babyhood.  I don't want to worry about being pregnant or preparing for maternity leave again.  I don't want to set up another nursery or wash multiple bins of tiny baby stuff.  I don't really want to be woken up again every three hours (or less) to feed a baby.  I don't really feel like spending another year making and washing bottles.  I like not having my house cluttered up with certain baby equipment like the swing or jumperoo (though there's plenty else to take their place, those big pieces are such a relief to put away).  I'm ready to move past the phase where going anywhere takes a major packing effort, and where I'm nervous leaving the baby for any sort of extended time away.  I like moving past those phases, where we can be more flexible and less weighed down.  I guess what I'm saying is that having a baby can be hard on a practicality level, and the thought of starting over again for more years of the same limitations just doesn't appeal to me this time around.  I was totally on board for doing it a second time, but I felt a palpable sense of relief when I passed by certain phases this time, knowing it should be done for good.

Ironically, I have two friends who are due for (surprise) third babies in the next couple months (though both have a boy and a girl already), and a third who just had her third.  Perhaps that's why this has been on my mind a lot lately.  Despite all of my reasons above, I'd certainly find a way to muddle through if we somehow ended up with a surprise third baby.  Part of me would be thrilled, though I know I'd be intimidated by the logistics.  That fear is what keeps me with a crawl space full of baby stuff.  But for now, I'm definitely more comfortable than I imagined I'd be with being done.  And whenever I have a weak moment, I remind myself of the reasons above and once again feel at peace with the decision.  Part of me will always wonder, but I feel so blessed to have the boys we have (despite our challenges) and can't really ask for anything more.