So today ended up being ER day after all. Jacob got to a point last night where he just couldn't take it anymore--and neither could I, which led to another argument about me being a "Debbie Downer". I just feel like I'm being a realist, and like I said, it felt like a very real possibility that there was something bigger behind all of these random ailments. But the mere mention of that, of being afraid what testing might show, of wanting Jacob to mentally prepare that it might not be the simple resolution he was expecting, got me on everyone's sh** list.
I get it, I should do better at controlling that stuff...but also, it's been a long three months and the constant stress of one kid or another having weird symptoms and potentially being really sick has just gotten to me. I apparently hit a breaking point and couldn't just keep things inside or ignore them anymore, or pretend there wasn't a real risk here.
So, after a late night of Craig trying to talk him down so he could sleep, this morning Jacob and Craig went to the ER. It ended up being a most-of-the-day affair. But eventually he got some scans of his torso--his lungs, heart, and abdomen. And everything was (mostly) fine. Thank God. He does have a lot of poop up in his system for some reason, even though he doesn't feel constipated, so we need to work on that a bit. I'm not sure why that would be happening, and at least it's not a blockage, but maybe that's not helping. More than likely the reflux is causing some of the other issues, and again, that's good to know but also not ideal because I don't know what else we do to help him if the reflux meds aren't enough. He seems to have a good number of trigger foods so it's hard to avoid all of them. We have the GI appointment on Friday so I guess we'll talk through things with them. Hopefully we can get a look at his system somehow to see what else can be improved, or maybe plan to test for a couple more things, like the bacterial overgrowth. Now that I think of it, maybe he has leaky gut or something, because that can cause some aches and pains, too. Hmmm.
The next step in my mind is to look for an immunologist, rheumatologist, or someone who can sort of monitor what his body is doing and be on the lookout for anything else in the autoimmune realm that could be enhancing his issues in some way. That was never recommended to us when he was diagnosed, but I think that was because he was young and the Celiac diet should be able to manage his disease. But if things are evolving and his body is reacting to something else, there may be a reason for that and I'd like to understand it. And I have a feeling a doctor like that would be our best bet because they've probably seen a little bit of everything.
But, for now, we get a little relief that nothing seems to be life-threatening or imminently dangerous. That revelation made it feel like I could breathe for the first time in weeks, and it felt like a literal weight off my chest. The overwhelming, underlying dread lifted...maybe not entirely, but significantly. I can't quite describe how different my body felt this afternoon. I can't say it will last a long time, especially if he starts complaining of new or worsening symptoms, but for now, it's a huge relief.
It's a dodged bullet and I'm so thankful, but yet again today my heart broke for my friend whose daughter got diagnosed with pneumonia in the midst of her treatment. She had a little cold and couldn't go in for her monthly antibiotic that helps prevent pneumonia, and boom, there it is. She's already a week into a 28-day immunotherapy treatment where she needs to be accessed with a giant needle 24/7, so to add this is just torture. That world felt all too possible over these last couple weeks, and while it's not impossible we could end up back there, this felt like a big step away from that. We still have a road ahead, but I'm so thankful for a break from the biggest worries for now.
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