When I first started writing this post, it began, "So, in a few days I will be all packed up and ready to leave on this crazy trip. Today is not that day, and I am FREAKING out. I have so much to do." However, it now IS that day, I am still freaking out, and I still have so much to do.
Before I get into all of that, a funny little story. I was looking at the date on Monday--June 10. It struck me like it was significant, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Later, I was looking at my calendar and noting Jacob's birthday in 10 days, which made me think back to another busy time, 16 years ago, when we were in the last 10 days of our life as a family of two. I did a deep dive into the blog to read where my brain was back then, assembling furniture, dealing with 90 degree heat, and hitting my limit on pregnancy questions from random people. It was such a different time, but one I remember oddly clearly. It just made me smile at the irony of this week being crazy for an entirely different reason, in such a completely different phase of life, but still ultimately relating back to that baby who was kicking me from within 16 years ago this week. Time is a thief and it never ceases to blow my mind thinking of the stages we've been through and how fast it all went--even when it felt slow. I guess when I really sit and think about it, the passage of time seems fair. We've been at this a long time now. But I think we all sort of expect that the kid phase will feel like forever, because it did when we were kids. But life gets busy and poof, those kid years are winding back down all of a sudden. Nearly every parent ever has had this same odd realization--how fast it goes and how hard it's going to be to let go in a few years. I'm seeing it again now with all of my friends whose kids are graduating one level or another--whether it's high school to college or college to the real world. It's coming fast for us too. But this week, those blog posts were pretty surreal. Almost hard to believe there was ever a time where it was just the two of us. But God willing, for the next five days, for the first time in forever, that's the plan again.
If you'd have told me 16 years ago (or heck, nine months ago) that I'd be prepping for a Dominican Republic trip, I'd have thought you were maybe a little crazy. I mean, on one hand I'd probably have hoped that was part of a trend and we were world travelers by now, completely comfortable with leaving our kids for more than a few days to get time on our own. My parents did it relatively often, after all, so why not us? But the Dominican sounds pretty exotic, so I'm not sure I would have had that on my bingo card regardless. The reality, of course, is that we haven't been on a real vacation on our own since Jacob was the size of a ping pong ball in my belly. We've had overnights and weekends, including one very fun championship trip, but it's never lasted more than a couple days or nights. Part of me wishes we'd have ripped the band-aid off sooner, but at the same time, it's becoming pretty clear why we didn't.
This week has been completely overwhelming. Work alone would have been enough. I had one unexpected delay with one of my projects and it made me crazy because I was originally shaping up so nicely to be in a good spot heading into vacation. I crossed a bunch of stuff off my list this week, but this one thing was hugely unhelpful. It finally got resolved on Thursday and I pushed through to get it in a good spot for Friday, but Friday ended up being challenging on its own, necessitating an extra three hours of work, mostly to leave my intern in a good spot for the week. Packing is obviously overwhelming since we're not entirely sure what to expect other than very warm, humid weather, probably comparable to Orlando the last two years. But how much will we dress up? What will we be doing besides the pool or beach? I wanted to stick to my carry-on, but would everything fit? I had a full packing list ready, maybe aside from a couple last decisions, but it took me until dinner time Friday to have it all packed...and luckily everything fit.
The bigger challenge has been prepping for what we're leaving behind. I wanted the house to be relatively clean when my parents got there, so I really needed to do a once-over. It took me until after baseball Wednesday night to do some dusting, and then a quick vacuum Friday. They'll be sleeping in our bed so I needed to change the sheets on Friday amidst all the last minute prep. I needed to track down some sort of guardianship form for the kids, so I typed up one of those Tuesday night. Our basement is a bit of an issue because the dehumidifier I got last week as an in-warranty replacement wouldn't even turn on, so our basement has been damp and making laundry smell if it hangs to dry. I got some baking soda and we took old friends up on an offer (via Facebook comment on my frustrated post) to borrow their extra one until the replacement's replacement gets here. I typed up a three-page document for my mom with day-by-day info for the kids, their activities, drop-off times, details about each event and stuff around the house, plus a bunch of suggestions for food. I had to revise it daily. The boys' baseball schedules have been completely up in the air--Jacob's sort of split between two teams right now and the new team he'd prefer to play for has no schedule yet, despite the coach pushing for it. Carter's team got shorted two games because of rainouts and they were supposed to extend the schedule into next week but it never happened and Wednesday's game was treated as the last. That actually felt like a bit of a relief so we didn't overwhelm my parents. But of course, it couldn't be that easy and they scheduled three more games--two while we're gone and the third when we're supposed to be in Pittsburgh next weekend. So much for easy. But I guess it's good for the kids. Even if the baseball is pretty bad, it's still fun for the kids. They are 8-1-1, and Carter got what we thought was the last winning run of the season thanks to some actual stolen bases (not just pass balls!). He made a couple really nice plays at first in the last few games, so that seems to be a good spot for him.
As if all of that wasn't enough, the kids threw a couple health issues in the mix. We went to a routine med check on Tuesday, and Jacob's blood pressure was oddly high, like 142/70 or something like that. We were a bit confused, but a second try at the end of the appointment was only slightly lower on the bottom number. The doctor wasn't super concerned, but said to keep an eye on it, maybe going to the machine in the pharmacy or whatever. Well, later that night we asked if he'd had any lightheadedness, and he said he sort of did, but it could be sinus stuff from the cold he was getting over. Then he said that he had a little chest discomfort during his workout the previous day. Like, you couldn't have mentioned that when we were at the doctor wondering why your BP was high?! Our concern ramped up his concern and soon it was like an all-out panic attack, so we frantically tried to find an urgent care that would take our insurance and was open past 8pm, as an all-night ER visit didn't sound great since he had tests this week. We mostly just needed to get him an EKG. It came out clear and his BP was down in the 130 range there, so we were thinking maybe his body was just reacting to the remnants of the cold? He seemed better after that, but when he was still having chest pain, Craig had to get it figured out so Friday was spent taking Jacob between bloodwork, his last final, and a few other tests. There was some arguing and frustration about how this felt like it had gotten completely out of whack, but in the end, all came out fine but they suspect maybe reflux at this point. Maybe it's all stress. We'll see.
At the same med check, we had the doctor look at the sore on the corner of Carter's mouth. It's been there for months, no matter how much cream we put on it. He suggested using hydrocortisone, which seemed to help a bit. But Wednesday night after Carter's game, as I was putting it on, I noticed his face looked a little swollen on that side. I looked in his mouth and the inside and outside of the lower cheek was definitely puffy. I agonized about it overnight, wondering what on earth was happening. He had loose teeth over there but nothing looked red or infected, although the back of his mouth near where molars will be coming in looked...off. So first thing in the morning we called the dentist and were able to get him in at 10:30 (it could have been earlier but he had a Flag Day assembly that he didn't want to miss). The hygienist and dentist both took good looks at him and were stumped. X-rays and all, they didn't see any dental issues or infection, and there was nothing that would have caused trauma to the area. It was too localized for an allergy, so they suspected something viral. But they recommended going to the pediatrician again, so I called and got a 1:30 appointment, meaning he'd miss the rest of the school day. The ped focused more on the sore itself rather than the swelling. I think he's assuming it's coming from there, which is possible. So he took some swabs (they will take a few days) to look for bacteria or fungus, and suggested doing an anti-fungal cream with the steroid cream for now. Luckily it didn't seem to get any worse overnight, but it's unnerving leaving both kids with medical mysteries as we're about to leave the country.
I'll be honest, for a while I think we didn't think the trip would happen. Too much was going wrong, there was too much to do, and everything just felt impossible. I had some very sad, very desperate moments this week, ranging from fear to jitters about being away from the kids to exhaustion to about a million other emotions. It was not a good week at all.
But, as I wrap up this post I'm now sitting in our upgraded hotel suite in Toronto less than 10 hours from boarding a plane to Punta Cana. I'm not sure how it all finally fell into place, and saying goodbye to the kids was tough, but here we are. First time in 16 years we'll be away from the kids for more than a couple nights...and in paradise no less. So much more to come, obviously. But for now I need my four-and-a-half hours of sleep!
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