Carter Appreciation Days

Carter has had a lot going on lately.  He had his orchestra concert and the end of his basketball season over the past few weeks.  He just completed a six-week afterschool coding club this week.  He goes into school early twice a week for his music pursuits and he's a safety during arrival and dismissal every day.  He's been working so hard on his school work, too.  Some days he has a lot of homework, and even though some days are more frustrating than others, he's hung in there.  I've mentioned how different he is from Jacob, that Jacob was so focused on sports and doing only what he had to do, and Carter wants to do all the things and excel in his work, too.  It's such a huge turnaround from three years ago when we had struggled through second grade mostly remote and we were desperately trying to get him help because he couldn't stand school at all.  His teacher was super negative, every assignment turned into a battle, and his report card was a disaster.  Once he got his ADHD diagnosis and tried out medicine, it got a little better.  Then he got a good teacher who was a perfect match for him from the start, and it was like a whole new world opened up.  Last week I told someone going through something similar with their kid that it was like he finally realized he could do things and that it felt good to do them well, and now he wants to do all the things and keep that feeling going.  He tries so hard.  We'll have to keep an eye on that as he gets older because I know what it's like to equate your self-worth to your success, and that can lead to massive self-esteem and confidence issues if things don't go well, but so far he's rocking it most of the time.

It's been a pretty good school year.  His teacher really seems to like him even as he exasperates her a bit at times.  He does really well and then comes out with a dud--like when she got upset with how he was doing his math work, or how his writing has been below par, or how his disorganization is his Achilles heel.  I get it because I feel much the same way--he has so much potential but a couple things just hold him back.  Even though both of my kids have ADHD, it manifests very differently.  Jacob mostly carries himself well and is a perfectionist in some areas but tends to be messy, impulsive, and stubborn in others.  Carter goes with the flow much easier and manages to keep track of his homework and dirty clothes, but he's still sort of an awkward mess a lot of the time.  His attention to detail is a struggle and he tends to leave a trail of destruction in his wake--be it his messy school bag, random items left all over the house, or his struggles to get himself ready for the day.  Almost a year in to picking out his own clothes, he still asks what matches almost every day and he puts his shirt on backward probably at least once a week.  He forgets that he really needs to treat his extra dry skin and lips even though it has to be painful.  He routinely heads for the front door without his backpack.  He's forgetful but also keeps track of the weirdest details, to the point I sometimes wonder if he'd end up on the spectrum if we really pursued it.  He rushes through steps without thinking and definitely doesn't analyze the world in the same way as most people.  It's a balance to point him in the right direction without being too critical.  Jacob has outgrown a lot of awkwardness in the last few years so I'm hopeful Carter will too, but he's going to need a lot of refining so his absent-mindedness doesn't come back to bite him.  Middle school is going to be...a lot.

But for now, we're savoring these last few months of being "top of the heap" in elementary school.  I knew the day he walked in there for the first time that he'd be graduating before we knew it, and I was right.  But he's embraced the experience, so much more than Jacob did.  Jacob loved it there, too, but Carter is squeezing every bit of action out of it that he can.  

This year they got a new principal, which was a little bit of a bummer because the old one was amazing...so amazing he moved up to a high school that needed him and his rah-rah attitude.  The new one was a bit more reserved, but he's slowly been putting his stamp on the school.  The new assistant principal reminds me of a Jersey Shore girl, but they seem to be a good team.  Last year they had a boatload of positive behavior referrals and other ways to recognize students.  This year the focus has been more on "Superhero of the Month", essentially students of the month by class.  Of course, my little hard worker would come home frustrated every month because he felt like he was seeing classmates get it who maybe didn't deserve it as much as him, for one reason or another.  They notify parents a few days ahead to let them know when their student is a winner so they can come to the assembly, and every month Carter would drop a hint wondering if I had gotten anything.  Well, a couple Sundays ago Craig was checking his email and asked me if I had gotten "this email", which of course led me to open my email, and sure enough, there it was--Carter was Superhero of the Month!  

Of course we were thrilled, but there were a couple issues.  One, Craig was going to be traveling the morning of the assembly, so he wouldn't be able to go.  Two, I had to figure out how to avoid Carter's question during the week.  However, that got extra weird quickly because he came home early in the week and said he had some good news.  He had seen something on his teacher's computer screen saying that he was the Superhero!  I'm guessing his teacher accidentally left up the blurb she had to write for him.  I tried to downplay it and say maybe she was working a month ahead.  I refused to confirm or deny anything all week, just saying he should wait and see, just in case this wasn't it.  

Friday was a doubly big day because it was also the first day of his in-person rehearsals for all-county chorus!  He had been selected a couple months ago--just one of four students from his school--and I made it clear it would involve a lot of time and effort so he really needed to decide if he was up for it.  He decided to do it, and this weekend was the big one.  

Well...in true COVID-era fashion, Thursday he came home from school and I noticed him sounding really stuffed up.  He said it wasn't that bad, but by that night he was blowing his nose every couple minutes.  UGH.  I had him take half a Zicam twice over the course of the evening and hoped for the best.  I figured we could probably get him through the assembly in the morning, but the rest was a bit more of a concern.  None of it could happen without a negative COVID test, of course, so I ran out to get tests and some medicine (we were out), and went to bed praying he'd be okay.  

When he woke up the next morning, he said he felt okay.  He looked tired and was still congested, but he insisted he was pretty good.  We tested and it came up negative, although I drove myself a little nuts looking for a faint positive since it was early.  I felt like I could see something in really good light with a magnifying glass, but I really think that was actually the part of the test where the test line would have been and it just reflected the light a little differently.  I remember my faint positive before our Disney trip and there was definitely the faintest of pinks there--this was still decidedly white.  I dropped him off early at school for his orchestra rehearsal and reminded him that if he felt crappy after the assembly he could go to the nurse, and at one point he was like, "But you're going to be there, aren't you?"  Good try, kid.  I came back home and emailed his teacher and his chorus teacher explaining the issue and saying he should probably bow out of the all-county chorus because I didn't want him spreading his cold to everyone, and just letting them know that while he was feeling fine aside from the congestion, he might take a turn for the worse and come home sick, so either way it was fine if he didn't want to go to the chorus rehearsal.  Shortly after that I headed back to school for the assembly.

The fifth graders started walking in, and I kept my eye out.  When he finally came in it took me a minute to catch his eye, but when he saw me he was really happy and probably a bit relieved!  I wish I would have gotten that on video.  Once he and his class sat down on the floor, he started pointing me out to his friends, which was cute.  One of his friends gave him a high five since that meant he had won.  We had to sit through a lesson on one of their social-emotional skills and then all of the third and fourth grade winners.  Finally it was time for Carter's group.  I also wish I would have gotten his announcement but they jumped into it super fast and he was the first name so I missed it.  He got a nice round of hoots and hollers and applause!  

Here's his moment in the spotlight...and don't mind the assistant principal's outfit--it was Disney Day!  Note that Carter's wearing his "I'm just here for the snacks" shirt!

Carter's write-up was really nice.  The principal made sure to remind us parents beforehand that this is a really prestigious award because it's not something every kid gets.  He suggested we should really pump our kids up and celebrate over the weekend--we tried, but with Craig gone we held out a little, and even a week later there's still one thing we want to do--he wants to try gelato!  

Fun facts: The girl next to him is in his grade and was nearly as tall as the principal (and taller than the assistant principal), the boy coming up the stairs in the picture above is a published author, and another girl that won (but sadly wasn't there) was one of his soccer teammates back in Kindergarten.

It was a really sweet assembly and elementary school never ceases to amaze me with how well it "herds cats" and manages the controlled chaos.  I'm really going to miss the warm fuzzy community there. 
 

We took a couple pictures afterward...

...and after we wrapped up his chorus teacher came over to chat.  She suggested he could still go to the rehearsals if he felt more comfortable masked.  She even had special masks for singing.  I told him that as long as he felt okay by that point in the day, he could go, but if he started to feel worse he should go to the nurse who could call me.  Before I left, we worked it out with the main office (and coincidentally his orchestra teacher who happened to be right there) that I would pick up his viola near the end of the school day so he didn't have to take it with him, since he was leaving school early to take a bus to the high school and then on to the school where the concert would be held, about 20 minutes away.

Fortunately, he apparently seemed to feel better over the course of the day, and I didn't hear anything else so I assumed he was off to rehearsal without issue.  I was honestly a little nervous not knowing anything and I missed having him around after school.  I was a little too busy to dwell on it because I had to pick up Jacob at 2:30, stop for the viola on the way home, get in a little more work until about 4pm, and then take Jacob to his training session.  We went straight from there to pick Carter up from the high school where they were getting dropped back off.  Oh, and did I mention it had been snowing most of the day?  Luckily by pickup time the snow had slowed and Carter was feeling better, which was probably good since the singing masks confused him a bit!  We hoped he'd continue to improve and be okay by the morning for rehearsal #2.

Oh, and on the way home he shared that he got his report card.  He was reading off his grades, and he did amazing!  Tons of improvement.  I think the only thing that wasn't where it needed to be (or above) was reading, and his teacher said it was because he struggled early on in the term with comprehension, but had been doing so much better lately.  He went back down to "meets expectations" in a couple areas, but he also got "area of strength" in all of his social-emotional skills, which has almost never happened with either kid, so that was incredible.  I'm so blown away by how well he's done this year.

It was tough getting him up bright and early, but we made it to the bus on time at 8:15, despite the fact we'd gotten a few inches of snow overnight.  Yes, we hadn't had significant snow in weeks but now that it's spring, of course we've gotten a bunch and the weather has been mostly cold.  The snow is rarely long-lasting--this round was mostly gone by later Monday--but it was enough to make for a slightly messy morning.  Thankfully the pavement must have been warmer because there was only about an inch to shovel compared to about four on the patio table.  I used it as my morning workout and figured that if my parents came for his concert like they were hoping to, it was better to have it cleared.  I had already gone through the trouble to get bundled up and out there, so why not?

We were originally warned that we might only get a couple tickets for the concert, so my dad fully expected to hang out at home with Jacob, but it turned out everyone could go.  That was nice since my dad is a wonderful singer and could really appreciate all the talent and work that went into the concert.  Jacob reluctantly went, probably just to see his grandparents and be a good sport.  When we got there, the place was jammed!  There were three concerts back-to-back and the first one was just letting out when we got there, which meant there was a backup of cars coming in and no spots.  We finally snagged one and then had to wait for my parents to find one when they arrived to the traffic jam a minute after we parked.  Because we ended up at the back of the line getting into the venue itself, we were right near the top of the seats, but WOW, what a place.  Turns out the performing arts center at Churchville-Chili High School is pretty darn impressive.  I thought Greece's was nice, but this was incredible.

Carter saw us coming in and smiled and waved.  He lost track of us when we sat, but luckily he was easy to spot.  

He's wearing a white shirt and a tie, just left and below center here.

Of course, the first thing I noticed was that his tie was super loose and he was a bit desheveled, so I motioned to him to tighten his tie.  At least he was mostly blocked by other kids so the untucked shirt was less noticeable.  Like I said, his attention to detail is a bit lacking sometimes, and I'm guessing between the long day, lunch, and bathroom trips, he let himself get comfy and then forgot to get himself back together.  Oh well.  It was a big crowd so at least it was harder to see, and probably most people were looking for their own kid anyway!

 

The concert was so good!  It was short, only four songs, but they were really impressive!  The director seemed really fun and energetic, and the kids were totally on board.  It was amazing how they had learned all of their parts coming in separately and only had a couple days of rehearsals to figure out how it all went together.  It was really impressive coming from a bunch of elementary kids, and quite the contrast to even Carter's regular chorus concerts.

Unfortunately we weren't supposed to record (there's a recording to sell, of course!) but I did sneak a part of my favorite song just in case we didn't buy the recording.

The concert was really outstanding--my parents were really blown away and said it was well worth the trip.  Afterward we were all herded to the cafeteria to pick up the kids, and it was nice to finally be reunited with him after the majority of two days apart.  He seemed to enjoy the experience and said he'd do it again, so I took that as a good sign.  For a kid who can get bored easily and enjoys his screen time at home, I took that as a big win.  

We wanted to go for a post-concert treat, but we were in a bit of a dead zone for good places for ice cream or snacks (especially gluten-free ones).  Ultimately we decided Tim Hortons was as good as it got, a few minutes up the road but not too far off track for my parents.  Unfortunately they didn't have frozen lemonades (but didn't tell us) so the kids ended up with regular strawberry lemonades, but the rest of the treats were good and we had a nice chat before going our separate ways.  I was glad my parents could come, and given how short the concert was, I was actually a little relieved it was so good.  I always sort of worry about that a bit with his school concerts because they are decidedly less impressive.

We had a pretty uneventful rest of the weekend while waiting for Craig to get back from Colorado.  We did get Red Robin takeout for dinner because I just couldn't think of anything else to cook and at least I had a coupon.  But otherwise we were just eagerly awaiting his return.  

The one exception to "uneventful" was that by Sunday morning Jacob was sniffling, and by later in the day it was clear he was getting sick.  At first we thought he might have Carter's cold because the congestion came on similarly, but he had a sore throat and later a 101 fever, so I'm not so sure.  Here we went all over again, now worrying that he might have COVID and Easter could be in jeopardy.  Ugh.  He was miserable and uncomfortable overnight into Monday--I heard multiple moans and he sleep-talked to me once.  Thank goodness he tested negative the next morning, because once the fever came on, I definitely would have been panicking then.  After that I felt a little bad I didn't stay home Monday because he was miserable and the first medicine we tried didn't help.  DayQuil seemed to put a dent in it, and by Tuesday morning he was at least mostly done with the moaning stage and just back to congestion.  The boys had doctor's appointments Tuesday so we took him in even though the fever had broken, and they confirmed it wasn't strep either.  He stayed home again Wednesday--he almost went but decided at the last minute that he just wasn't feeling up to it--so he had a big one-day school week this week.  Geez.  The congestion has actually hung in there for both boys, so whatever they had (together or separate) was no joke.  Luckily it did not negatively impact our Easter weekend, so that was a relief, but I was pretty worried for a while.

Anyway, I can't even express how proud I was of Carter over those couple weeks--two concerts, including one with a special selection process, a great report card, and a student of the month award.  He's a pretty amazing kid and it was fun to see him shine!