In case you're wondering, that acronym stands for "Thank goodness I'm not at Disney". After spending half of the summer worrying that either COVID or weather would spoil our Disney trip, I'm watching The Weather Channel tonight grateful that we didn't somehow decide to wait an extra month to go to Disney...or that this weather didn't hit a month earlier. We landed in Florida a month ago tomorrow, and today Disney World is closed and people are sheltering in place at most of the resorts--the ones that aren't closed, anyway. A nasty hurricane is passing through and Disney parks are closed for at least two days. As we were waiting for our trip, all the people on the Facebook site I followed were like, "Oh, Disney almost never closes. Hurricanes are so rare there." And yet I was still nervous--and apparently for good reason since there were thunderstorms every single day when we were there--but we were only a month off from my worst nightmare coming true. I would have been completely beside myself seeing my trip plans go to crap. It's been interesting watching posts from the resorts. Some of it has been positive--characters entertaining kids, lots of pool time before the bad weather really got going, cozy movie nights tonight--but apparently getting people food has been an issue and I feel terrible for people who are missing out on park days or facing hundreds of dollars in extra hotel nights and days of delayed flights. I can't even imagine. I'd be terrified and sad and panicked. I think about that cool palm tree outside our window and wonder if it will still be standing tomorrow.
A month later, Jacob and I are also both sick. Neither of us have been quite right almost since we got back. Most of us have been a little extra sneezy and sniffly, which I was figuring might just be allergies and a dusty house, but perhaps it's more. Jacob was a little under the weather on the trip, and I think we've both had a couple rounds of cold symptoms interspersed with some random sneeziness and general congestion in the past few weeks. I would take Zicam when it would feel like it was ramping up, have a day or two of worse but tolerable symptoms, then it would retreat and I'd just be a little sniffly. This week, Jacob really started sneezing again on Sunday, and has missed three days of school since, mostly due to disruptive coughing and some congestion and fatigue. He went to the doctor this morning but all his tests came back negative. Apparently there's some mystery virus they're seeing in kids right now, so maybe that's it. Whether that's what I have, I have no idea. I had some cold symptoms for a couple days a couple weeks ago after I worked events in-person, but the stuffiness hadn't really gone away entirely. I felt cruddy later Monday into Tuesday this week, but felt better later Tuesday into today. But over the course of my drive home from work today, I started noticing some sinus pain, and out of nowhere the congestion hit really bad once I was home. I even started to get some tooth pain. It was feeling a lot like my sinus infection from hell a few years ago, with one sinus super blocked up and unable to blow out. Most of this stuffy couple weeks has been like that--only one side stuffed up--and with the lingering stuffiness, I really did start thinking it had turned into a sinus infection. Over the course of the evening it has spread into both sides now, so I'm not sure. I'm still half tempted to call the doctor because antibiotics could be hugely helpful since I need to work all weekend. I was planning on masking anyway, but if this gets any worse I will struggle to just function. I'm hoping I make a drastic improvement within the next couple days, but I'm worried. It's also concerning since the boys are supposed to go to Boston. Will Jacob get better? Will Craig or Carter get this? Craig is expected to drive some extra players, as well, so that would be a concern if he was sick. All the unknowns are so frustrating and it's causing a lot of stress.
I'm still struggling through housecleaning and the stragglers on my to-do list. I finally rented Carter's viola, adding something to Carter's gallery wall (we had space for one more photo so he picked Shipwreck Falls at Darien Lake), and got the diamond painting hung in my room (it looks great but I'm still debating if it needs something else flanking it). Work has been a constant struggle of working through projects I've been putting off, but I've battled through most of those this week. It always feels like such a relief to get past a major procrastination, but getting myself there can be so hard. I keep telling Jacob, who inherited my procrastination gene, that the quickest way is through, but I've had a hard time listening to my own advice in recent weeks.
I've decided that my life sort of revolves around endless to-do lists, both at home and at work. Just when I cross one thing off, I add three more. It's like a ridiculous version of the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" books--I will wander around the house starting one thing, getting pulled to another thing, which reminds me of another thing, and five tasks later I might finally be getting back to what I started doing. It's endless and exhausting, and I lost it a bit on my family over the weekend because I'm so tired of spending so much of my free time wandering around the house cleaning up after them. Jacob is the worst with leaving dishes, cups, and empty boxes and bottles everywhere. The problem I have is that I want to try to teach him to be responsible for his own stuff, so I leave it alone for a few days, but it still doesn't move and either Craig or I will get annoyed with waiting so we just do it. The same thing always happened with chores. He wouldn't do them, we'd hold off and try to give him the chance, and then we'd be living in filth. Cleaning up after him is not going to help Jacob form better habits, but otherwise he'd never have things cleaned in the dishwasher and we'd likely lose our minds from the clutter. Carter is just as bad with school papers and toys. And in general there's just piles of stuff everywhere and it sends my anxiety through the roof.
The irony about the to-do lists is that I dread most of what's there most of the time, but I seem to only feel my worth when I'm working through them. I feel guilty when I'm not doing something, especially when I know I should be cleaning or working out. It's amazing to me how much better I feel about myself when I get that stuff out of the way on any given day. I did well over the weekend on both counts, but now being sick has me on the back burner again. I still managed to close my exercise ring on my watch today, presumably with a few frantic wanders through the office, but some days are harder than others. In some ways I feel like I'm coming out of the pandemic mental struggle as more things get back to normal, but there are moments I realize that things like workouts and cleaning feel even harder, and I'm not sure why that is or how I'm going to fix them if they're going in the opposite direction than I would expect. I'm fine, but "just keep swimming" only works for so long.
The other nagging thing lately has been the weather. It's been garbage--lots of drizzly, cold weather. The average temperatures are supposed to be up in the high 60s and we've struggled to get out of the 50s for days. This is supposed to be that time of year with the amazing clear blue skies and perfectly comfortable temperatures, where you can freely pick your wardrobe and have everything be comfortable, at worst with a single layer. But even hoodies aren't really enough right now. Sandals are a recipe for cold feet. I've been wearing jeans almost constantly. Normally Meliora Weekend is a solid mid-60s guarantee, and even with it being almost a week early this year, we won't hit that. Our poor boss who just moved here from Maryland is already a bit traumatized, and I had to assure her today that it's not normally like this this early. We've gone to the pumpkin patch in shorts before! This stretch has been so frustrating, and this month as a whole almost has to be one of the coolest on record. I sure hope October has some better plans, because with our limited weekends due to travel we will need good weather for the few pumpkin patch or hike-worthy days we have to choose from.
Sorry that this is probably a bit of a bummer post, but it's been that kind of a week. Hopefully quick healing, warmer air, and fun weekends are in our future, but right now it's a struggle. I'm just trying to take comfort in the fact that we're not in the middle of a hurricane and that this week's frustrations really are small potatoes compared to what they could be. I'm off to bed to keep Florida in my prayers and thank God one more time that we had the trip we had, because those memories are still keeping me sane some days. We were blessed.
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