Going, Going...

This morning I took a 45 minute drive to the other side of Rochester to donate the rest of the baby gear.  After doing the first couple rounds of consignment, I came to the realization that a lot of what we had left may not be salvageable, at least not in that way.  But so much of it still had a lot of use left, maybe as a backup, or for someone who has very little money to spare and just needs enough to get by.  Some of it was in shockingly good shape, even, for having gone through two kids and more than 11 years of life.  But when a lot of charities don't take that kind of gear, what's the alternative?  I dumped some things--forever stained (and trust me, everything got a round of OxyClean first), tacky aged plastic, items very well used but kept just in case--and it sort of killed me a little inside to feel so wasteful.  So I wanted to clean up as much as I could and get it to somewhere that could use it.

I had set aside two bags of linens--baby towels, crib sheets, waterproof pads, bibs, burb cloths--and was originally going to give them to an organization I work with through my job.  But I had so many other things--two strollers, two high chairs, a booster seat, a vibrating baby seat, a pack-n-play with all of its parts, a breast pump, a shopping cart cover, Boppy pillow and covers, a Moby wrap, a Baby Bjorn carrier, a winter car seat cover, and stroller netting.  But then one day we received a "Community Wish Book" in our town paper, and I looked for anywhere that might take the high chairs in particular, which I felt were in good shape aside from staining on the straps.  I found a place in Canandaigua, a ways out of town but just close enough, that looked promising.  I sent them an email to see if any of the stuff I had left might work.  And sure enough, they would take pretty much everything!

The organization provides help in multiple ways to potential, pregnant, and new moms and other relatives, including incarcerated moms.  They do parenting classes where families can earn "money" to buy items in their store.  The items I donated today will go into that store.  I was just so relieved to find somewhere that would take everything so it wouldn't go to waste.  What's the point of keeping things nice if they can't be used again?

So, today I took some time off work and made the drive.  In addition to the director, there was an elderly volunteer helping sort through donations, and the look on her face when we started bringing everything in was priceless.  She just looked so thrilled!  That made me feel so good that there was someone who believed in the organization so much to be so happy to receive these donations.  I really, truly hope that people who need them are able to benefit from the donations.

But I won't lie...it still felt a little sad.  I'm thrilled to be clearing things out and making room in the crawl space.  I know it's important to start moving on and embrace the new phase of life we're in.  The fact of the matter is that we don't need those things anymore.  They're either going to sit and rot in there or they're going to move on to a new life somewhere else, and there's no need to let them go to waste just because it's sometimes tempting to hold on to physical items that evoke memories.  Oh, the hours spent with each of those items...well, aside from the shopping cart cover (too much work), netting (not enough bugs), and Moby (which I really wanted to like but never really got the hang of).

• High chairs - First solid foods, so many new foods, countless dinners
• Booster chair - Lots of hectic meals away from home, but usually surrounded by loved ones
• Strollers - I mean, how much time did we spend with those?  Newborn walks with Jacob, trips to the mall, vacations, zoo visits...so many adventures.
• Baby seat - It was often my savior with Jacob because the vibrations seemed to calm him.  His baby announcement picture was even taken in that seat.
• Breast pump - Yes, it was a bit of a torture device, but we spent many hours together in the handicap bathroom at work.  I started reading the bible while I pumped, too, and it was the pre-smart phone era, so I have very quiet, blissful memories with that thing.
• Car seat cover - Oh, the cute faces peeking out at me from that hole!  And it was a nice bonus to not have to bundle my babies up in coats and then strap them into car seats.
• Boppy - I remember being very pleased with the fun, gender neutral covers I had picked out, and I strangely loved alternating back and forth between them every few days early on.  And I used that pillow for nursing support, to cradle my newborns, and to help them sit up in later months.  So much useI  And after a good soak yesterday to remove the infamous yellow stains, wouldn't you know that thing puffed right back up in the dryer from it's somewhat flattened state?
• Baby Bjorn -  The Bjorn may have killed my back at times, but it was a life saver in every other way.  My arms didn't have to constantly hold a baby, and the kids were generally pretty content in it when we were out at so many sporting events and countless other places where strollers weren't functional.
• Pack-n-Play - Where do I begin?  It was the original newborn nap spot, the most frequent newborn changing table (and where I experienced projectile poop for the first time), a constant travel companion (oh, the hours spent hovering over the side rubbing a baby's back while at Craig's parents' house), and my playpen savior when I desperately needed to take a shower.  When I pulled all of the newborn parts out last night (the bassinet, changing table, mobile, and caddy), it brought back a lot of memories of those early days.  When I retrieved the little nightlight/music attachment, I realized that there were probably still batteries inside because I never realized it when it was our last time using it, so I never took them out.  As expected, they had corroded.  I desperately tried to scrape out battery acid and clear off the contacts inside.  It took about three tries, but I finally got it to work.  When I hit all of those buttons to listen to the music and nature sounds one last time, wow...did the memories ever come rushing back.  So many attempts at getting a baby or toddler to sleep in a loud house down below were made with that music and the water sounds in the background.  I don't necessarily miss those days, mind you, but this made it pretty clear that those days are over--and have been for a while.

The good news is that I have photo evidence of almost every one of those things, so I will always have those memories.  And slowly but surely I'm realizing it's okay to not have those physical items close by.  Don't get me wrong--I still have a bunch of things packed away.  Maybe they're for the boys, maybe they're more for me.  I still have a lot of tough decisions ahead, both with the clothes and more so with the toys.  We have a lot of classics floating around here--Legos, Playmobil, Hot Wheels, Imaginext, magnetic tiles--to go with the Little People and Peek-a-Blocks I already have put away.  Unless I can convince Carter to cut down on screens and embrace toys a bit more for the next couple years, those decisions will be coming sooner than I can bear.  It's still just a matter of thinking rationally about what the boys might appreciate, what will stand the test of time, and what might come in handy as a grandparent.  God knows I have enough trouble getting rid of my own nostalgic stuff, let alone theirs, particularly before I know what kind of adults they will become.  But paring down the clutter and making good use of what we don't need is important, too.  One step at a time, we'll get there.