Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved to read. She spent many a summer afternoon holed up in her room with a good book, often reading and re-reading books summer after summer. Her own bookshelf was stocked and well-read, and usually added to each school year when the book fair came to town or her favorite series added a new book. She'd often go to the library on her bike and bring home a stack of new (or old) books, and devour them one by one. Children's books she remembered from school, easy readers, kids' craft books, juvenile fiction, Choose Your Own Adventure, Encyclopedia Brown, and finally on to the adult non-fiction and biographies to research various favorites more in-depth. Every book was exciting! The opening of the summer reading program was a yearly highlight and a fun challenge. Subsequent visits to the library to record her success were exciting, and the free book that usually came along with the program was always a treasure. As she got older and worked her way through her own library's collection, her mom scoured another library system to bring home even more books about her very favorite topic. It was a love affair that lasted right through high school...one that stopped dead in its tracks when she went to college and reading became sleep-inducing work thanks to the very boring topics it presented. Alas, the story has a happy ending. Even though time and life constraints conspire to keep the girl and her books apart, once in a while she comes across a wonderful opportunity for a reunion, and the love affair resumes, perhaps briefly, but it is still love nonetheless. The end.
Ok, so obviously this story is about me. But every bit of it is true. So you can imagine, then, that Jacob's severe aversion to summer reading (well, all reading) not only baffles me, but makes me truly crazy. I don't know what to do with a kid that hates reading, particularly at a time where he needs to do a bunch of it.
When I was his age I read book after book. Yes, I watched a ton of TV and played a bunch of computer games, and my bike was my main lifeline to the world outside. But books were really central to my summer entertainment. I was that kid with the stack of library books, refreshed as often as possible. I read multiple series (oh, The Baby-Sitters Club was the best--thanks Heather, for buying all of those and letting me borrow them!), but I also loved the quick crime solvers and Choose Your Own Adventure books, and pored over countless Ed Emberley drawing books. I remember this one craft book with very detailed, themed craft projects--maybe to create elaborate role-playing props or something?--and how I'd always get it out hoping to make something awesome, only to have it be a bit more than I could muster. As I got older I had favorites in the adult section, from the inside story of the Monkees (the 60s band who had a resurgence when their old show came back in syndication in the 80s), to a book full of amazing Lego builds and history, to a full historical rundown of Barbie. I read it all.
Fast forward a decade or so, and yes, I stopped reading for pleasure. College killed me. I had to read some of the most painfully boring books--The History of the Peloponnesian War and an in-depth history of the Catawba Indians come to mind off-hand. I was completely read-out by my breaks, and the internet was far more fun by that point anyway. I generally fell asleep whenever I did try to read. Years later I married a fellow Communications professional who has spent most of his career writing, and I've done a fair share of writing myself, and yet we produced a kid who would rather do almost anything but read. I have actually picked it up again over the last 10 years or so, maybe reading a couple or five books a year when I come across things that interest me. I love it when I do it and wish I had the time/discipline to read more.
But Jacob just hates it. I mean, sure, he reads articles on the internet and he gets good grades so he's clearly doing what he needs to at school. Per his lack of award-winning this spring, I don't think he's necessarily doing as much as he should given his natural abilities, but he's definitely not illiterate. I'm sure his ADHD plays into it to some degree, and I know he's a boy and an active one at that, so reading is just not high on his list. He has read books at school, and he seemed to enjoy when we used to read together, but unless it's exactly what he wants to read, it's a losing battle. Even books by Matt Christopher, which are young fiction books with a sports theme, aren't good enough for him. Even with that knowledge in mind, nothing prepared me for the hell that is summer reading.
He simply does not want to read. He will flat out refuse, even though time is ticking away. He has to read two books, one mandatory (The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White) and one of his choice from a pretty decent list. The list includes a book he's already read (and apparently enjoyed), so I'm currently debating whether to let him pick that one or force him to broaden his horizons with something new. With each book he needs to do a dialectic journal, which basically involves pulling ten passages from the book and giving a short commentary on each. It can talk about symbolism, or how the passage makes you feel, or why you think the character is right or wrong. It's only about 60 words per commentary, which seems really easy to me. Not that I want him to do this, but he could practically flip the book open, pick any paragraph, and talk about it. Considering the usual alternative is a full-on book report that involves full comprehension, this sounds like cake to me. I understand he's a different kid, but still, it's pretty open-ended.
The Trumpet of the Swan is admittedly a tough choice. I had never read it before, but as a show of solidarity, I checked two copies out of the library for us so I could read it while he was reading it. I figured I might be able to pinpoint passages he could talk about, or work through the story with him. It's not exactly an enthralling book so far. It has talking swans (in the same vein as Charlotte's Web), who have five baby cygnets, and a little boy who watches them. Apparently one swan can't trumpet and I believe this will be the story of him finding his voice, but I can't say a 6th grade boy would find any of this interesting. That said, I've read a lot of boring books in my life, and I'm of the belief that learning how to struggle through them is an important skill. He'll be doing this for the next 10 years or so, so he might as well get used to it now.
Of course, stupid me, I went and posted about this on Facebook, and at first things seemed positive. My one principal friend did suggest audio books, which I'm torn about. Yes, kids learn differently and we should not reasonably withhold tools to do so. However, there won't always be an audio book available, and even if there is, I'm not comfortable with the precedent of paying for them for the next 10 years. And anyway, in this case I think it's less about the content of the book and more about the process, so I can't say I'm super worried about comprehension to the degree that I might be with a book report or a test.
Other parents commiserated and shared that they're struggling with their kids, too. But then another teacher chimed in. To be fair, she deals with kids Jacob's age and specializes in special needs students. She started out by going through the list of books he can choose from and giving a quick opinion/synopsis of each, which was really helpful. I may have Jacob sit down and read through them to see if any of the ones she highly recommended sound good to him. And heck, if not, I may read some! Where I started to get frustrated is where she essentially invalidated my concern with wanting him to push through the process. Now, she addressed it to everyone--not just me--but it was clear she was directing it at something I had said. She said she's never seen a lazy student--just ones who learn differently and need different tools. But with all due respect, Jacob is lazy...or at least has other priorities. If it isn't easy for him, he's not really interested. Boredom is his sworn enemy, and if he thinks something is the least bit boring, he will find every possible other thing to do. He has no problem reading and has the cognitive ability to comprehend what he's reading. He simply doesn't feel like it. If he was in school, this probably wouldn't be an issue. He apparently read a lot of books at school. But he has very rarely had homework to do at home since around 2nd grade. He did most of it at the afterschool program, so our homework battles have been minimal. He's never had a major take-home project. As a result, doing school work at home is foreign to him, and the fact that it's supposed to be his summer break makes it worse.
One of the suggestions was to read with him and to him, to the point of alternating pages. Look, I will do that if we're reading for pleasure like we used to, but this is a school assignment. I'm not going to sit down and do a couple of his math problems, so I'm not going to read a few pages of his book either. I will read next to him, I will talk it through with him, I will give him suggestions. But he is capable of reading by himself. I have enough to do on a daily basis without him expecting me to sit down and do his homework with him. I won't be doing that with him at college, so no time like the present to learn. At this age, he should be learning independence and finding some self-motivation. If he physically needs me nearby to support him so he doesn't feel like he's suffering alone, that's one thing--please tell me that and we can work it out. But call me crazy, I do not want him dependent on me for his homework. I did my own 6th grade homework by myself, so I do not need to do his, too.
And before you think I just don't understand how he learns or why he's resistant, just know that I am the queen procrastinator. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if I someday got diagnosed with adult ADHD. I get distracted so easily if I'm not in a state of hyperfocus with a very specific task at hand. The internet is a terrible distraction for me, and a smart phone has made it worse. Despite being a good student, I had very similar troubles with talking in class, and I'm an epic daydreamer. So trust me, I relate to him more than one might expect. We may be different people but we are more alike than either of us would like to admit. In this case it just so happens that I probably enjoy focusing on books more than him, whereas he's permanently stuck on sports, but I was a bit of a lazy student myself. However, I was also a people-pleaser and valued good grades, so not getting in trouble and seeing good grades come in were important enough to me that they were motivation to get my work done. But I would avoid it as much as I could, which is why to this day I will not consider going to graduate school. There are way too many distractions in my house and studying would always come last. The point is, I get it, at least to some degree.
This person on Facebook suggested an $8 per month Audible subscription (sorry, not in the budget right now) and compared withholding tools like that to making someone with a physical disability go without a wheelchair, among other things. She specifically said how much it upsets her when someone talks about having a student push through (which I specifically said Jacob needs to do). Maybe that's the case with her students who have legitimate learning struggles, but I truly believe Jacob's patience and willingness to do the work are a bigger struggle for him than any sort of learning issue. Could we all use some sort of tool to better learn things? Sure. But most of us made it through the educational system without listening to an audio book while we read. Did some get lost in the system because they couldn't? Probably, and that's unfortunate. But I don't think he's at risk for that. I think he needs to adjust to having to do more work, and to do it at home. Maybe I'll change my mind as we go through the school year. But right now, I'd like to believe he can do it himself. And honestly, I'd like him to believe in himself, too.
And you know what's happened in the days since we had a big blowup about it? He's been reading. I don't know yet that he's retaining, because he won't take notes or anything, but perhaps that will be a learning experience itself when he has to go back and figure out what he's going to journal. Perhaps that will change his process for the second book. We're far from out of the woods, but I'm encouraged that he's trying.
In the meantime, I'm reading, too. It's definitely boring. Tonight I fell asleep, in fact. But we'll both get through it. One chapter at a time.
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