Eleven!

Dear Jacob,

Where do I even begin?  It's been an interesting year...but something tells me this is just the beginning of the crazy roller coaster ride of tweenhood!

I'm not sure if this year felt a little easier because you've gotten easier or because we've just gotten used to the daily chaos around here.  You still do not get along with your brother 95% of the time because neither of you can resist getting revenge for whatever petty thing you did to each other.  It's exhausting and exasperating, and hopefully one of these days you outgrow it and realize how important it is to have a brother.  But once in a while we see these glimpses of what you two could be like when you let that stuff go, and I hope those moments keep coming.  We need them!  Just last night you were playing soccer with him so nicely and it was awesome!

You've almost never been an easy kid to raise, but this year has definitely been a battle against your moods.  One minute you're the coolest kid I know, and the next you blame me for everything and want nothing to do with me.  The littlest thing sets you off (hence your issues with your brother) and sometimes no matter how I try to help you, it's not enough.  I hope someday you realize how hard we're trying to make your life better and point you in the right direction.  We don't always do it perfectly, but we're doing our best.  I know these mood swings have only just begun, and teenagerhood is going to be even harder, but in the meantime I'll try to savor those moments when you're the kind of big kid I pictured myself hanging out with, and hope they're enough to get us through the bad times.

I think one of the big milestones of this year was you officially changing over from lacrosse to basketball.  It really got started last spring, but between the Raptors' success, your hoop, and continued frustration with lacrosse, things officially took a turn.  I think Dad and I are both sad to see lacrosse go, for so many reasons.  It's fun to watch, and we especially loved watching you.  You had a lot of skill and your passion took care of the rest. We know things have changed in so many ways, and we understand why, but forgive us if letting go is a little tough.  The thing is, with you we know that there is no gray area for you--when you are into something, you're all in, and when you're not, forget about it.  We're maybe not as decisive in that way, hence our slower acceptance.  But basketball is "it" now, no doubt.  We've learned to love watching you play another sport, and we're looking forward to seeing where it takes you. Oh, and the sneaker obsession this year was another added complication, but I think I'm finally getting used to having in-depth conversations about shoes!

I can't seem to get over how grown-up you're starting to look.  I see friends post pictures of their kids starting with the age we're at now and then a couple years down the road, and I realize that very soon you're going to look like a true young man.  And in many ways you act older, too.  Not always, but we're getting there.  But on the outside I know many changes are coming and it's a lot to process.

I know this is an obvious statement, but every year we get farther away from when you were born.  I'm not just talking about time, though.  Yes, it blows my mind we're already 11 years removed from that moment, but I almost can't reconcile the fact that the tiny baby I held that night is now this kid whose hands and feet are as big as mine!  In another year or two you'll be taller than me.  You're technically the same person you were way back when, and you still have that same adorable dimple to prove it, but I can barely connect that baby to who you are today.  The funny thing is, even though our entire lives revolved around you from that first moment, it turns we didn't even really know you back then--not when you really think about it, anyway.  You go from being this little cuddle bug who can't even speak, to this complex, ever-maturing kid that we've had 11 full years to get to know.  I guess it's no wonder it's hard to connect that baby to you--so much has changed and evolved!  So, as significant as they were, our first moments together were merely a blip--and someday I'll probably say the same thing about now.  Life moves fast!

Speaking of which, tomorrow you graduate from elementary school.  It seems like we were just sending you off to Kindergarten, but six years and two schools later, it's almost over.  FYI - I'm sure I'll be saying the same thing seven years from now when you graduate from high school, so start getting used to it.  Next fall you'll be off to a brand new adventure--not just middle school, but private school.  It will be a whole new ballgame for all of us, and I just hope and pray it's a good fit.  The stakes are pretty high, but the potential benefits are, too, and I hope you take full advantage.  I'm already bracing myself for summer reading, uniform shopping, and all the early mornings to catch the bus, but hopefully the positives of this experience will be worth any struggles.  This experience should set you up for a successful future, wherever you go.  I know the NBA is at the top of that list, but getting a quality education should give you some options if needed!

School is just the first of many changes ahead.  Between that, your physical transformation, battles with cell phone use and social media, an entirely new social life, the evolution of your sports career, and whatever else, the next few years are going to be a doozy.  I hope we can all have patience with each other and work through this together.  We're not the enemy, I swear.  If anyone has your back, it's us...but that doesn't mean we won't let you learn a tough lesson here and there.  That's part of the job, unfortunately, but you'll get it when you're older, I promise.  We love you so much and we know there is so much passion and potential in you.  We always want to help you find the best ways to put those qualities into motion.  However, we also know we're on the verge of going into spectator mode as parents, which is a totally different experience than what we've had previously.  This next year will be a game-changer, I'm sure.

I'm not sure I'm up to the task, but know that I love you more than you can ever imagine.  In the words of one of my favorite singers, I will fight for you even if it means I have to fight with you.  You're worth it.  You've got great things ahead, assuming you can keep a good head on your shoulders...and you can bet I'll be holding you to that.  Keep fighting for your dreams (heck, prove me wrong!), and we'll be here cheering you on.  Love you so much!  Happy 11th Birthday!

Love,
Mom