Three Years

Three years ago today, everything changed.  I woke up and it was a day like any other.  I did see some bad news about my friend's cancer-stricken daughter that morning, but otherwise, it was an average day.  I got into work, I ate my breakfast, and just as I finished, my big boss from our Toronto office poked his head around the corner.  He asked me to come with him, and about 10 seconds later I figured out this wasn't good and something was about to go horribly wrong.

Less than two hours (and a few tears) later, I found myself sitting alone on my couch with absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go.  Everything I had worked for for nine years was gone, and I'd wake up the next morning with the sole purpose of getting my kids up and out...and I guess starting the process of getting myself a new job.  Losing my job, particularly in the sudden way that I did, was truly horrible.  Even now the thought of that day sends shivers up my spine and makes me feel a little sick.  It was shocking and scary, and I felt such a sense of loss in regard to the friends I'd miss seeing every day and the many projects that I knew would die without me.  It changed my entire perspective on work.  Not that you shouldn't put in an effort, but just to remember where your loyalties need to lie when it's a close call.  Your job could drop you tomorrow, but family is forever.

Three years since, a few other things stick with me.  I still look back so fondly on my time off.  It was a revelation to focus solely on my family for a change.  I didn't have to panic when a kid got sick, I had time to think about ways to improve our household, and I discovered I don't really hate cleaning--I just hate doing it when I'm in a rush and prefer to use that time for something better.  I even had time for myself--a stop at the gym on days when Carter went to daycare and a little time to frugally acquire a business wardrobe after a couple years of casual attire and post-maternity weight gain.  I had time to play with Carter and get my housework done.  I could go to Wegmans during the day when it wasn't busy, which meant I didn't have to fill my evenings with errands.  It rearranged my entire life, and most of the time, I loved it.  I decided I could absolutely work part time and love it, but of course that wasn't in the cards.

I still know I'm very lucky to have found a job, and a good one, at that.  I got a nice pay raise, ended up with some good benefits, and found a job that combined most of my best skills.  It was a great place to land, and I still feel grateful.  It's been a bit of rough go over the last year or so--first with some unrest on campus when President Trump won the election last year, and this year with a controversial sexual harassment issue on campus.  It's made getting donors a bit more challenging, and then a complete staffing shakeup in our department last summer made things even harder.  As a result, my boss is extra stressed and a lot more work has trickled down to me.  I don't mind, but the way things have happened has been a little chaotic so some days haven't been the best.  I still feel fortunate, though.

It just boggles my mind a little bit how one thing so quickly changed our present and future, and it all started three years ago today.