20 Years

Twenty years ago, everything changed.  For us, maybe not everyday life, but parts of life--both physical and mental--shifted forever.  Twenty years ago today, September 11th changed the world.

No, we personally didn't lose anyone.  We don't live in New York City.  Heck, I haven't been there since it happened, though Craig did visit while the pile was still there.  But life changed nonetheless.  The airport became a more challenging place to be.  I know I still tend to eyeball the people on my flights a bit more than I should.  New York City will always hold some sadness, if only because when watching old episodes of Friends you periodically get the reminder of what the skyline once was.  Fire drills in office buildings feel different.  And maybe most of all, our entire sense of security as a country was shattered, and never really recovered.  

Craig and I were watching a documentary tonight and he remarked how frustrating it was that they were telling people in the towers to stay in their offices or go back up after the first plane hit.  And yes, it is sad that people who likely could have made it out then never got the chance later.  But obviously there was debris falling, which wasn't safe either, and I reminded him that the entire concept of it being a terrorist attack wasn't clear at the time, and even if it was, who in a billion years would have assumed someone else was coming for the other tower?  We couldn't begin to fathom what was happening in the first place, and an attack of that level was unheard of.  If it happened now, sure, we'd assume the worst.  But only because we've seen the worst.  At that point we just hadn't witnessed something so brazen and massive to ever assume those other folks would be in that kind of danger.  No one could fathom the buildings' collapse, either, so of course it seemed like those people were safe where they were.  Even now watching footage it's hard to believe it even happened--any of it, from the planes and the towers to the collapse and the hole in the Pentagon and the legendary stories from Flight 93 in Pennsylvania.

But it did, and I still remember it thoroughly.  I've related it here before, but as a refresher: I was running late to work, and as I strolled in a little after 9 past Craig's desk, I heard him say a plane had hit the World Trade Center, but we still thought it was a small plane then.  I don't remember hearing specifically about the second plane, but at some point apparently it was concerning enough that we moved into the Amerks' locker room to watch footage.  After a bit, I remember watching a reporter at the Pentagon, who was waiting for some sort of government update, report that they'd heard a very loud boom.  At first they thought it was a car bomb or something, but I don't think I heard until a bit later that it, too, was a plane.  In the meantime, we were watching the fires at the towers, and through sort of fuzzy reception, I couldn't believe my eyes when I realized we were watching a tower collapse.  I will never forget my complete disbelief as the smoke and debris cleared enough to show blue sky where the building once was, realizing that one of the tallest buildings in the world was simply no longer there.  And of course, it got worse when the second tower fell, and in the midst of it all, slowly realizing the human horror of what had just happened--from people in the buildings to the ones on the ground.  It was inconceivable.  Eventually I tried to go back to my desk and either try to find some work to do or at least search the (very slow, overloaded) internet, which was not yet awash in news sources or social media, for information.  In fact, that's probably one of the other things September 11th subtly changed--I feel like internet news got far more sophisticated soon after.  The previous day was our work golf tournament so I know had wrap-up to do, and it was only a month from our opener so I was worried about being unproductive for a day or week.  Little did I know that most of our national advertisers would make my job very hard for a while, as they put all of their advertising on a freeze for weeks due to all the uncertainty.  We spent the day moving between the locker room TV and my boss's small black and white one at his desk.  It was a terribly unproductive day, in addition to being simply terrifying until the hijacked plane reports finally seemed to have stopped.  Then I remember driving home and hearing not only that WTC 7 collapsed, but that the Stevie Nicks concert that was coming to Rochester that week, which Mary and I had tickets for, had been canceled--never to be rescheduled, by the way.  Such a first-world problem, of course, but it felt like adding insult to injury at that point.  Craig and I were newly dating at the time, and I know I was too exhausted to make dinner that night, so we ended up going on one of our early dates to the Ruby Tuesday in Greece that opened the previous day.  That location actually closed a couple years back and a new Mexican restaurant just opened there.  Anyway, I recall just sitting at our table, mindlessly eating while watching news coverage of the recovery effort and reruns of footage from earlier in the day.  It didn't make stomaching dinner easy, but it was all we could do to simply function at that point.  After that it was days of news coverage after work that I eventually had to actively prevent myself from watching because it was just too depressing.  The thought of so many grieving families, either not knowing what happened to their loved ones or getting bad news, so many kids losing parents, so many parents losing grown children, the thoughts of the last moments of those in the buildings or on the planes, all of it was overwhelming.  It honestly still is.

We watched a lot of documentaries on the anniversary in the early years.  I still remember being fascinated by the one done by the French brothers who had been doing a documentary about rookie firefighters and caught footage of one of the planes hitting.  But as we've had kids, our viewing has decreased.  Some of it is probably busyness, some of it is fear of that grief and not wanting to actively relive it, and some is probably a desire to not have the kids watch the terror.  Jacob's probably old enough now to process it properly, but just the other day I had to explain again to Carter what September 11th was all about and felt the need to keep it really simple.  It's weird being 20 years out, having kids of our own who have never known a life without that piece of history, and trying to wrangle our own sadness and figure out the appropriateness of sharing it with our kids.  On one hand, it's real history.  It's something they'll learn about, and having been alive for it, we have our own insights to share.  On the other hand, as a parent you naturally try to shield your kids from sadness or nightmare-inducing stuff.  It's one thing in a fake movie, it's another when it's a real-life thing that actually happened (and in their minds, could happen again).  And I guess I'm still trying to find that balance.  This was our Pearl Harbor, and I'm not sure I ever asked my grandparents for their take on the actual Pearl Harbor...but I wish I had to know what they would have shared.  It's just so hard to know what's appropriate, what's important, and how to manage it without traumatizing them.

Even after living it, twenty years out it's still so hard to fathom.  It's almost half my life ago now.  How do you make sense of something that was so monumental, that destroyed so many lives, and fundamentally changed so much in our country?  Part of me wants to watch all the shows and ceremonies to process and mourn, but part of me can't risk being sucked into the terror and grief I felt that day and the days after.  It was debilitating.  And yet, getting all worked up about something that happened 20 years ago seems...unnecessary at best and disingenuous at worst.  But who can watch it without feeling it deeply?  It's a vicious circle.  It's such a weird feeling to still not know how to memorialize this day, even after 19 years of them.  

For many years my mood was impacted by the weather.  If it was a perfect, clear blue sky, 70-degree fall day like it was that day, it was eerie.  Those kind of days (even on days that aren't September 11th) still sometimes get to me, as do low flying planes.  If September 11th is rainy, it feels oddly appropriate but strangely like an insult to those we lost.  Today it was a lovely upper 70s day, and it felt pretty neutral.  But inevitably I still have moments during the day where I think about what I was doing that day at that time.

Twenty years is such a long time.  Babies born to dead dads just after are now bona fide adults.  Those who were my age are now in their 60s.  The youngest group to really remember it is pushing 30--and knowing that, it's weird to think back to January 2006 when I would have been in their shoes, 20 years after the Challenger disaster, the first big news story I remember well.  That was huge, but it didn't have the same globally arresting impact that September 11th did.  

Sometimes it feels easier all this time later (probably because I'm afraid to let myself really go back there), and sometimes I get a fresh wave of grief for all that was lost when I read a new story I hadn't heard before, which I have a number of times this week.  Just today there was a local news story about a woman born in Rochester who lost her husband of four months that day.  She married again and had three kids, only to lose a second husband this summer.  To think of that level of loss in these last 20 years, it's heartbreaking, and she's probably not much older than me.  I read a very long article tonight about the parents and the almost-fiancee of a victim who had a falling out over his last journal, which his dad gave to the girlfriend without asking the mom, and how some emotional decisions over that journal had all these reverberations through their respective existences in the 20 years since.  There are literally thousands of stories out there, and likely thousands more since from people who suffered from related illnesses due to the dust cloud or fumes during the lengthy recovery efforts.  It's crushing to know that's all out there and those numbers keep rising to this day.

It's so odd to realize how certain emotions have dulled and some are still so vivid all these years later.  Grief is a funny thing, and while mine may not have been super personal, it still didn't go in a very straight line.  As an empath, it sometimes kills me to think of the sadness that's out there to this day, and the intense suffering that happened back then.  It's still a lot to process, and that may never end.  In fact, with all these varied emotions 20 years in, I can probably safely say it won't ever end completely.  And maybe before I know it, I will have grandkids asking me about it.  I hope so anyway, because we should never, ever forget that day and those that were lost.  

A Trying Transition = Fresh Starts

I grew up hating the day after my birthday more than nearly any other day of the year.  Why, you ask?  Because not only was my birthday over, but so was the summer, and school was now imminent. Sometimes it was as soon as three days after, which was extra demoralizing.  This year feels extra weird for a ton of reasons, not the least of which is that we had the most exciting part of our summer vacation almost immediately before heading back to school.  It's a huge downshift.  

I guess I should consider myself lucky because I would also be going back to the office right now if we didn't get delayed further.  Technically we were going back September 1, but I'd have been on vacation for the first few days and likely would have tried to wrangle one more day at home the Tuesday after Labor Day, before the kids went back Wednesday.  I can only imagine how much more stressed I'd have felt if I was also trying to get back to "full normal" rather than just readjusting to earlier wake-ups, packing two lunches, and getting kids off to school.  I was grateful for every extra day we had to readjust to regular life post-vacation, because there were a lot of loose ends to tie up once we got home.  And even with all of that time, even Tuesday was disorienting despite only needing to get Jacob off to orientation, Craig back to the office, and me back working from home.  Of course, I was working from my new workspace and had one therapy appointment and two pickups to make the entire day feel disjointed, so maybe I was doomed no matter what.

Speaking of the new workspace, as alluded to in a previous post, the change was necessitated by acquiring this piece of furniture...

My dad's cousin and his wife live here in Greece and they're planning on moving out west closer to all three of their kids (and many grandkids) relatively soon.  So they're trying to lighten their load a bit, but this is a family heirloom so it was a little harder to part with.  It belonged to my great-grandma.  My aunt had mentioned on the 4th of July that the cousins were ready to let it go, but would love to keep it in the family.  As the physically closest relative, I was obviously the easiest possibility.  At first I wasn't sure, particularly when I realized it wouldn't work for my work desk.  My workspace wasn't great for a lot of reasons, and I had previously pondered getting a new one to replace the one I've had since I was 11, but this one didn't fit the bill either since it didn't have a spot for a monitor.  However, when I thought about the storage and the meaning--and how simply lovely it is--I decided that any minor, temporary work from home inconvenience would be worth it for the long-term benefit of the piece.  So, in the days before vacation I cleaned up (and repaired) Carter's former remote school desk (our old computer cart on the other side of the dining room), moved a bunch of random stuff out of a corner of the basement office into the crawl space, dismantled my workspace, moved my old desk to the basement office, and picked up the new desk and hutch from their house to put where my old desk was.  It was a little bit harrowing getting it in the van, home, and inside, but we survived.  I spent all Friday night trying to clean it up--first just vacuuming, then using Murphy's Oil Soap, and then getting to the hardcore stuff, Liquid Gold.  The Liquid Gold was leftover from when my mom helped me clean up my ugly, awful kitchen cabinets at our old house, and when I read on the can that it hides scratches, I had to try it.  Considering the age of the piece, it was in great shape, but it had definitely gotten its share of bumps and scratches over the years, and on the dark wood they were quite visible.  When I put on a coat of Liquid Gold, I couldn't believe me eyes--the scratches almost completely disappeared.  It was incredible!  By the time I was done, the piece looked amazing and almost like new--or at least gently loved, which any antique should. 

The inside has so much storage!  There were a bunch of scratches on the left side of the fold-down, but they disappeared so amazingly well.

Love this little door--and there used to be a bunch of visible scratches around the knob, also now hard to see.

 
It matches nothing but it really doesn't matter--it's a statement piece for sure.  Apparently there's a matching table and chairs, but I don't trust a real wood table around my kids!  I've loved the many comments I got on social media about how so many people remember their grandma having an almost identical piece--and a couple even inherited it themselves, too.  It's just so pretty and fits in its spot so well.  I still have two full drawers to fill and I'm still deciding what to move into the cabinet.  It probably won't be nearly as classy as what my great-grandma had in there--which was visible in this picture from the early 70s, where you can see it in her house.

She was the coolest woman, sharp as a tack into her 80s.  Darn hip fracture did her in, but I have lovely memories of her cookie jar of Oreos or maybe even her sugar cookies, and spending time at her house, usually for her birthday party or after lunch out with my grandparents, since her house was on the way home from their favorite place.  My only other keepsake from her is a baby doll I used to play with that lived in her front bedroom. 

I feel honored to have this piece and can't take my eyes off it, but it's going to bug me until I figure out what's going in that upper cabinet!  I spent part of Saturday before vacation moving some things into the desk storage and drawers, and some into my old desk, which could become my workspace again if Carter has to go remote.  Right now it's holding a lot of overdue filing, but it actually fits in its new spot perfectly and helped me move around a few things that needed better spots after we ditched our old basement desk.  It's always nice to have some forced organization that actually improves things.  

Still, it was weird sitting at my new workspace Tuesday instead of the spot I've sat in for the last 18 months, but it seems like it will work.  It's actually probably a bit more comfortable since I was contorted weird at my desk because of the drawers and the tray table that had to hold my laptop, but it will still take some adjusting after all this time.  But it feels like a whole new phase of at-home work in a new spot (hopefully for just another month or so, but we'll see), which just happens to coincide with a fresh start for the kids.

The transition back to school felt so much more momentous this year.  I mean, last year was intimidating because we didn't know how COVID would do in school settings and we'd had a solid six months of the kids at home, but I think I was just so grateful to have them out of the house and getting real learning that I'd have moved mountains for it to happen.  This year, cases are up and yet everyone is going back full time--which is desperately needed but merely leaving everyone hopeful that masks will do their job.  But on a practical level, I've apparently been sucked into some sort of Stockholm Syndrome-esque vortex where the comfort of our usual boring but exhausting chaos seems less intimidating than trying to get back in a routine.  In the spring when school ended I was terrified to have the kids running amok for months, but now I'm nervous that's the easier option than early mornings, endless lunch packing, and schedules.  But that seems to be what this pandemic does--it sucks you into a routine, generally one that's mind-numbingly boring but less intense than your usual, and makes you start to appreciate it.  But when it's time to change, it's paralyzingly nervewracking compared to how change would have been handled pre-pandemic.  I think that's sort of why making food for parties has been extra overwhelming to me, or why I struggled with evening bike rides or almost any other activity.  I got too comfortable in the monotony and don't know how to break out of it, even if what's on the other side is totally worth it.

It's almost like the day-to-day survival mode has been so intense lately that mentally I can't allow myself to envision a day where things change or (gasp) go back to normal.  Maybe it's a loss of hope.  Maybe it's sleep deprivation.  Or maybe it's that for a while I fully expected to be back in the office right now so I never thought I'd be back in this solo work from home situation.  Even though summer always goes quickly, having the kids home this summer feels like all I can remember.  That could be partly because Carter was home three days a week for most of the year and my window of two kids gone the majority of the time was very small, so everything blended together and I'm feeling the weight of the full 18 months.  Regardless, it's just so strange to me how weird this feels.  Something as simple and routine as the kids going back to school feels foreign and hard to fathom.  I'm trying to work through why that is, but that mental block making this year extra challenging.  And the post-vacation hangover isn't making it any easier.

It's even odder with Craig gone now, despite the two COVID cases at his office in the last couple weeks.  The quiet is nice but a little isolating, but at least I can strategically use podcasts (or maybe even the TV, now that I can see it) to provide noise when I need it.  After only a few days, though, I can say that I don't know how people who had to quarantine alone for months did it.  I really just like having a minute or two to talk to a real person.  Someone ran a poll on our little work Slack chat about whether we're looking forward to going back to the office (assuming October holds), and I was the only one who said yes.  Two were undecided.  I think the other active parent logged a "skeptical that it will occur" vote, but it just amazes me that people aren't more eager to get back to real people.  Not dressing up and not having constant co-worker interruptions has its perks, for sure, but part of me wants to get back to what normal life is supposed to be.  Sometimes I think my anticipation and fear of the transition is worse than the real thing will be.  The thing is, I don't consider myself an extrovert, but without much of a social life, not having a work life means that seeing people outside of my house that I can actually talk to is rare.  And the fun, cute conversations we all once had on Slack have almost entirely stopped, which makes the disconnect even worse.  I think it just speaks to my whole Stockholm Syndrome theory--it's like this pandemic has imprisoned us and now so many have recalibrated and prefer solitude just because they like the other perks it offers.  As it is those people will only have three days in the office once we go back, so I don't think they have much right to complain.  I just feel like I'm hitting some sort of breaking point, and I'm not entirely sure why it's just happening now when I finally have peace and quiet and could still do it in my pajamas if I really wanted.  Why is it so hard 18 months in?

On the bright side, a lot of my concerns were mostly unfounded--for now.  The boys had decent first days of school and we were on time without massive coercing.   

Jacob wasn't super thrilled, as it appears that last year's school population boom has cooled a bit now that everyone is back to full time.  A few of his friends left and his favorite teacher is no longer teaching--he's an assistant principal, which isn't bad, but Jacob is already unthrilled with his teachers, including the same math teacher he struggled so badly with last year.  I think he'll settle in, but we'll see.

When it was time for Carter to leave, it was pouring outside!  It made his first drop-off at his new school a little more chaotic than I would have liked, but he had a great day!

Not only is his best buddy in his class (yay for both moms unknowingly requesting the other kid), but he has a few pther friends and loves his teacher so far.  And it's just a little too cute that Ms. Howe loves cows.  We already want to write a children's book about it.  That's a much better response than we got last year, so whether she's really just that much better or his medicine is already doing its job, I don't know.  The work hasn't really started yet, but I'm hopeful.  He seems happy with all the third graders being at recess at the same time and he already earned "Cougar Cash", so those things have helped.  He's not real thrilled with the afterschool program right now.  I think attendance is way down and their activities are still a little limited, but we had signed him up expecting I'd be in the office and it's probably not worth trying to pull him for one month if he's just going to end up back there halfway through next month.  They hiked the price so I'm half tempted to start looking at daycares again.  It would be nice if we could do the latch key thing since he'd probably just hop on a device instantly and Jacob would be home within an hour (I did it in third grade some days), but I don't think we're there just yet.  

But, all things considered, despite my reservations things have gone relatively well.  Of course, it's only been two days (only two?!) and exhaustion has a way of overtaking even the best habits once the adrenaline wears off.  So, we'll see.  Test #1 will be tomorrow when Jacob wakes up post-COVID shot #2 and insists he can't go to school, but we'll see what we can do.  At least it's Friday, which means another regroup is only a day away.  Yay.

A Roller Coaster of a Road Trip - Days 4 & 5

We were thrilled to check out of the creepy hotel on Wednesday morning, and stopped for some Dunkin' for breakfast.  As we were just getting going, we happened to see a basketball court.  We had been trying to find one for Jacob the whole trip, and it was a decent one with glass backboards.  I don't think it was in the best area--it looked like one of those low income neighborhoods that had been fixed up with newer houses, and there was a memorial full of wet stuffed animals and broken candles between two trees off to the side.  But it was early in the day and seemed fine.  There was a playground, too, which Carter loved.

Jacob got in some shots, and then it was time for a long drive up almost the entire state of New Jersey.  Oh, and did I mention we were going to be heading into the remnants of Hurricane Ida, which had devastated New Orleans earlier in the week?  Luckily we had planned a low key day of shopping since we knew it would rain for most of it.  It was actually fine when we left, and despite being cloudy the whole way, it didn't start raining until we got closer to Northern New Jersey.  We stopped at the IKEA in Paramus since I hadn't been to one in so long (darn you, Canadian border closure).  We walked through the whole store, but it turns out I didn't really need anything.  The snack bar seemed to be quite stripped down due to COVID, too.  Bummer.  But the boys did have fun in one section posing the drawing models to look like they were fighting...

Our next stop was going to be the Woodbury outlets, which were only about a half hour from our hotel.  It's a huge outlet mall, but alas, it wasn't the best day to be at an outdoor outlet.  It was only drizzling when we arrived, but the cloud cover throughout the Catskills was impressive.

There should be rolling green hills above those buildings, but the clouds just covered them completely.

We grabbed lunch in the food court, where Jacob discovered Jersey Mike's gluten-free sub was very comparable to Firehouse's.  We hit up Adidas, Under Armour, and Nike.  Then we decided to check the Vans outlet to see if there was anything Jacob liked better than the basic black Vans he's been wearing for school the past two years.  We had this year's waiting for us at Kohl's, but figured it was worth a try.  Well, by that point it had really started raining, and by the time we met up with Craig and Carter who waited in line at Nike, it was pouring like crazy.  Even with umbrellas we were soaked!  I guess the hurricane had arrived!

We drove to the hotel, and saw a few accidents along the way.  We also glimpsed Legoland, which was our target destination for the next day.  We unloaded as quickly as we could at the hotel (the cover over the entrance was little help), and tried to settle into our room and dry off.  My sneakers took a lot of time with the blow dryer to be usable again for the next day!  Jacob was begging to go bowling (still, after the Poor Richard's Pub thing, he wouldn't let it go), but it just kept raining, and we still had to figure out dinner.  Eventually all the bowling options were eliminated, and it became pretty clear going out wasn't the best idea anyway.  We eventually settled on a 110 Grill that was just five minutes away, ordered online, and Craig and Jacob went to pick it up.  While they were gone I tried to log on and finally order our Legoland tickets.  I hadn't bought them earlier because we were first waiting to see what the weather would do, and we were thrilled when the forecast eventually went from a rainy morning to a really nice looking day.  Well, when I went to order them earlier in the morning, the promo code I had to save $150 on the kids tickets wasn't working.  I figured I'd try to contact Valpak and Legoland and see if anyone got back to me.  Unfortunately, I accidentally left my phone on silent during the day, and missed Valpak's call.  Even more unfortunately, the call back number was cut off and I didn't get the message until after 6pm.  Upon further investigation, it appeared the promo code still worked for all other Legoland stuff, but they must have decided to shut it down for that location since it was new, and maybe with capacity issues they didn't need any additional incentives.  But when I went to order the tickets, they were SOLD OUT.  And not only was Thursday sold out, but so was Friday, so there wasn't even an opportunity to stay another night and go then.  I was devastated.  Just complete disbelief and shame that I had messed this up.  We came all the way there and couldn't do the thing we most wanted to do!  It was clearly not a great night after that.  I even pulled out the little mini bottle of wine I threw in the cooler to try to ease up my sadness, but the helplessness of it all really sucked.  Yet another frustrating moment in a trip full of them.

We spent the night watching coverage of the rains that were coming through.  Craig and Jacob saw a half-submerged car on their way to get dinner, and we weren't even in the worst of it.  Areas around New York City ended up with over nine inches of rain in a matter of a few hours and had massive flooding.  Other areas in PA and NJ had tornadoes.  The Schyulkill River in Philly overflowed, and I'm pretty sure the sunken highway we traveled on days earlier was completely underwater.  It was crazy to see all this damage so close by, and close to areas we'd just been through earlier that day and week.  Luckily for us, by the time we woke up the next morning, you'd never know our area had any issues.  It was cool but sunny.  But we felt terrible for all the other people who had been affected.  More than 40 are reported dead now, sadly.

Unfortunately, the Tru breakfast wasn't its usual awesomeness due to COVID.  There were enough options to get us through, but it was yet another little disappointment.  But not all was lost--the boys got in a foosball game in the very cool lobby before we left!

Since Legoland wasn't an option, we had to find something else to ease our disappointment.  We decided to hit up the New York State Fair in Syracuse.  It paled in comparison, but it was better than nothing.  And honestly, it was probably the one scenario where I could convince the boys to go without getting a lot of eye rolling and complaining.  I've been to the fair twice (that I know of).  We went once when I turned six.  I vaguely remember opening my birthday gifts early in the morning and then getting on the road right after.  We stayed at my great-aunt's (who I share a birthday with), and we went to the fair.  As I recall, we somehow won a stuffed frog, and I still have him packed away!  The next time was on the way back from dropping off my brother at college, although I can't remember if it was the first time (1992) or the last time (1995).  My memories of both trips are pretty vague, so I was eager to go back and see everything again, and Craig had never been.

That stretch from downstate to Syracuse was a haul.  It really did feel like it took forever.  We must be out of practice!  After getting back to the Syracuse area and stopping for lunch (again at Firehouse, plus Wendy's for Carter), we got to the fair parking and shuttled over to the entrance.  Carter was very interested in the shuttle and how it differed from a regular bus.

We headed in and tried to get our bearings amidst a maze of buildings.  We started in the aquarium and saw some turtles and fish.  

Long neck!

Then it was on to the Dairy Building, home of the famous butter sculpture!  This year's was about getting back to normal post-COVID.  Ha.  Even still, it's always incredible to see what they can do with butter!

School lunch

Playing games

Sports!

Another building had a variety of vendors, and the boys enjoyed their massages!

One building had a circus exhibit that had tons of miniatures reflecting circuses and carnivals.  There were tiny versions of favorite amusement park rides, as well as a giant circus tent at a scale of 3/4" = 1 foot.  It was quite the set of collections.

Some of the buildings were really gorgeous.  The Horticulture building in particular had gorgeous entrances.

Across the way was a pretty fountain.

Outside the building there were a few memorials, including this one from 9/11...

...and this more general one. 

We worked our way back around to the dairy building again (now that our stomachs were a bit emptier) to have our 25 cent milk.  The chocolate milk was tasty!

Then it was on to check out the animals.  Unfortunately, there wasn't as much as usual to see.  We did see a bunch of cows, but didn't stick around for too long because apparently it smelled (I wouldn't know).

The chickens were a bit better, but there weren't rabbits or other small mammals in the building that the signs indicated would be there.  But the variety of chickens was fascinating.

Could there be a more picture perfect rooster?

This one had quite the hairdo and a long neck!

This one had fuzzy feet and seemed like seeing might be an issue!

The colors!

Elsewhere on the property was a Native American village setup that included a model of a long house.

There was also a ceremonial pipe dedicated by Franklin Delano Roosevelt.  It could actually be smoked!  That thing has survived a long time now!

We also saw some goats.  I decided I like the ones with the floppy ears, but wished there would have been pygmy goats, which are the cutest ever.  Apparently a day or two later they did a goat costume contest.  But this building was also supposed to have llamas and sheep, and they were nowhere to be found.  I read something in some Facebook comments that indicated that overlap with the Erie County Fair (and, I imagine, the longer fair duration this year) maybe have contributed to some changes in schedules for who was there when.  I guess early in the fair there were no cows, but there were a ton when we were there, so perhaps everyone's schedules were a bit different and maybe they couldn't spend 3+ weeks sitting at fairs.

The last building we visited was the new Exposition Center.  It was huge and really nice!  Inside were a bunch of military vehicles and this amazing sand sculpture.  It meant a little more after spending hours building with sand a few days earlier.

The theme was thanking essential workers

I love the guys in the center who were trying to eradicate the cross-eyed coronavirus with a syringe.

As we made our way to the midway (with a detour to drool over some of the amazing campers they had set up--seriously, nicer than our house!), we saw what appeared to be the finale of a high dive show.  You can just see the woman beginning her dive from the highest perch.  It was really high, but fear not, she popped back up just fine!
  

While we were looking at campers, Carter found a four leaf clover!  Where was that luck the rest of the trip?

The boys had been begging to go to the midway all day--Carter for rides and Jacob to find a basketball game.  We walked through to get our bearings and figure out what we were going to pay to do.  Jacob did do a game and predictably failed--and wow, the oval shape of a hoop on another game was shocking even though we know they're all rigged.

After already spending significant money for Carter and me to ride three rides each a couple days before (I don't regret it one bit but it's not something I was looking to make a habit), I was hesitant to shell out a bunch for these rides, and admittedly, they weren't cheap.  I didn't like the card setup they had, or the way you had to select credits, and it just didn't feel worth it to me in the end.  Well, as we were walking back out of the kiosk line, a woman and her son approached us and she said, "Do want to ride some rides?  I think there's about 37 credits left on this card and he doesn't want to ride anything."  Maybe that lucky four leaf clover brushed off on us!  She just gave us the card and that was it!  What a sweet woman, and at the perfect moment when we had resigned ourselves to not riding.

Our first priority was the Cyclone, which was a version of the ride I had tried to describe to Carter when we went to Darien Lake as one of my favorites that's no longer there.  Darien's was called the UFO, and it was a little more substantial than this version.  Darien's had full on cages with vertical bars, rather than just a chain across your spot, and when the ride spun and eventually lifted, my brother always tried to hold himself up on the bars as long as he could until the G-forces pushed him back against the wall.  I thought it would be a next step up for Carter since he liked Alien Invasion in Ocean City, since it's a similar concept, but with the added tilt.  He did enjoy it, and we were giggling about not being able to move body parts and being so high up on the one side.  The spinning was a bit more than I'd have preferred (I forgot to take a Dramamine), but I came through pretty good all things considered. 

Next up was the Super Cyclone (no relation), which was the only decent-sized roller coaster.  I can't say I was excited to go on this one because these are usually a bit rough and rickety, but Carter really wanted to.  The cars were a bit more substantial than most, but the restraints weren't my favorite (they just didn't ratchet down to where I'd have liked, so I held it down further the entire ride for Carter), and aside from a couple drops it wasn't too exciting of a ride, but it was fine.
 

I really wanted to ride a ferris wheel or the sky ride (below) to get a better view of the midway, but Carter didn't like the sound of the ferris wheel, and the sky ride was a separate $5 ticket.  Had we had more time and energy by the end of the night, I might have done it anyway given our free rides.  Maybe next time.  But it was photogenic with the Exposition Center in the background.

The next ride, the Cliff Hanger, was similar in concept to that crazy one we saw in Ocean City that looked like the Paratrooper, except this one just looked like hang gliding without the control of the flaps.  We made a grave error on this one--which I blame on the ride operator--and didn't slide up quite far enough on the support canvas we had to lay on.  Upon further examination, there was actually a chin rest and I think we should have been up on that because supporting our heads and necks through the G-forces once it got going was really hard.  We both ended up with temporary sore necks.  I also did not like the amount of spinning on this one--it was worse than anything else and I definitely needed a Tylenol afterward for a headache.  I'll know better for next time, I guess.

After that we took a detour to meet back up with Craig and Jacob, who went to get food, and got food ourselves.  We still had enough credits for one more ride, but nothing else was jumping out so we ended up doing a fun house.  It was pretty quick and not super exciting, but Carter still seemed to like it.

And with that, we had conquered the fair!  As we made our way out we attempted to get more food, but the fun fair food I wanted involving a donut stuffed with ice cream had run out.  We did get to hear a couple minutes of the current iteration of the band Starship performing "We Built This City", which was sort of a fun, unexpected moment.  We headed out to catch the shuttle back to the van, and that was about it.

Luckily my driving shift home went relatively quickly and it was a huge relief to get home at 10pm.  We were able to do the majority of the unpacking that night, which gave us Friday through Monday to settle back in at home.  We all slept in pretty late on Friday, though I'm not sure if that was general vacation tiredness or an indication of how crappy we all slept in the hotels.  

Unfortunately, our efforts to get Jacob his second COVID shot on Friday were thwarted.  He was due that day but we didn't make an appointment because we weren't sure if we were going to be home.  The office had indicated it likely would be fine to call in if we got back early, but apparently there were no spots available.  Unfortunately, any other day would involve potentially missing school or sports, so he's now scheduled for Thursday and we're hoping he'll feel good enough to make school Friday (but at least he'll get his first two days in normally, and I can't imagine Friday will be too labor intensive) and should be back to normal by the time of his first basketball game with his new team Saturday.

My favorite part of Friday was eating my birthday cake in a jar!  It was delicious and very rich! 

Craig got his COVID test on Saturday and it quickly came back negative, thank goodness, which was one less thing to worry about heading into the first week of school.  Other than a quick trip to Buffalo for Craig's dad's birthday, we had a generally low-key weekend--some shopping, school supply prep, yard work catch up, and sleep!  It's all about to get real, though.  But that's a whole other post.  That and my post-vacation ponderings coming soon...

A Roller Coaster of a Road Trip - Day 3

Tuesday wasn't just another vacation day--it was also my birthday!  Not that we had any special plans, nor did I expect to be able to pick my dinner of choice since our options were limited anyway, but I did figure I might need to pull the "it's my birthday card" to convince everyone to go along with our revised schedule due to the rain the previous night.  It was going to be a full day for sure.

Our plan for Tuesday morning was to grab breakfast at a restaurant in downtown Ocean City that had a great gluten-free menu.  As we walked from the van to the restaurant, Craig got a call.  It turned out that he had direct contact with someone who tested positive for COVID.  Seriously?!  It was one of his co-workers that he'd spent some time with on Friday and Saturday--including time in a car--but hadn't had quite the extended time close to him that others had.  Because he was vaccinated, he didn't really have to quarantine, but it definitely didn't start the morning off well to consider the possibilities.  In the end we figured if he was positive we were all already screwed with so much van and hotel time, but since we were masking indoors and trying to keep distance outdoors, we were just going to keep moving forward with the trip and hope none of us started to feel sick.  Testing is really hard to come by right now, so we knew he couldn't get one until we got home anyway.  We decided to just push through Thursday night after our last official activity and come straight home so we'd be free to figure things out on Friday.  It all felt even more annoying that he had just had a negative test before we left, and now we were dealing with it all over again.  

On the bright side, breakfast was awesome.  Jacob had amazing pancakes, Carter had french toast and bacon, Craig had oatmeal and toast, and I had Eggs Benedict.  I'd have enjoyed my first Benedict in years a lot more without the COVID stress, but it was nice to give Jacob a treat.

We ended up back at the arcade for a while, which featured some intense air hockey games.

Eventually it was back out to the boardwalk.  We walked to one end where the shops stop, then started working our way back.  It was impossibly hot and humid, the kind of day where the sweat just drips down your back no matter what you do.
  

Elaborately themed mini golf is a big thing here, and that one was indoors.

 I probably shouldn't have bothered to curl my hair, because the sweat and humidity were not helpful.  It was also not the best day to have forgotten a hair tie!  Carter and I took a break on a bench while the big boys shopped.

We made our way down, checking in shops, surveying food, and eventually picking a mini golf course to play.  There were so many options, and while the indoor ones were intriguing since they were air conditioned, I didn't love the thought of wearing a mask for it since we'd be inside.  

Take note of that coaster and its crazy twists and drops... 

We made it all the way down to Gillian's Wonderland Pier at the other end of the main boardwalk, which has rides and an arcade but unfortunately wasn't open yet.  We never did get to go there (we did 10 years ago, though), which was probably my only bummer aside from only being able to do one beach day.
 

We had to pick up some slushes and Polish water ice along the walk, and even take a shade break because the heat was just brutal.  

Ocean City Music Pier

One thing I was looking forward to showing Carter was the hermit crabs sold along the boardwalk.  They fascinated me 19 years ago.  We happened to catch a good, active cage, and this guy gave us quite the show.  

The cage was full of them, all brightly painted.  It was quality entertainment, and if they weren't so creepy (and a lot of work to clean, I imagine), I might have considered taking one home.  I loved them in Kindergarten when we had them in our classroom, but they freak me out now.  I actually found a book at the library before we left about a hermit crab that uses half an action figure as his "shell" and accidentally saves the day.  I think seeing the crabs helped Carter appreciate it more.

We didn't get a picture at the lifeguard stand like so many people do (and use it to measure their kids from year to year), but we did get one near a boat.

This pirate wheel cracked me up because the plaque on it says, "On this site in 1897, nothing happened."

We were getting quite overwhelmed by the heat, but we really wanted to play mini golf before grabbing lunch.  One of the things that struck me the most about Ocean City vs. Atlantic City 10 years ago was that Atlantic City's boardwalk was so not family-friendly--not just the massage and tattoo parlors, but they only had one mini golf course, and it was pretty tame.  Ocean City has probably five really cool ones that are elaborately themed (and some have multiple courses).  It took some deciding, but we finally settled on Congo Falls (which, as it turns out, I actually played 19 years ago--probably even the same course out of the three, although the theming was a bit different then).  

Note the massive gorilla on the left, and the helicopter with two animated gorillas over the main entrance.

We melted through our round, but at least a good chunk of it was half inside and shaded.

These mini golf courses tend to go vertical to manage their small slot on the boardwalk, and as we went deeper into the course, the view only got better.  The ocean was in one direction, and you could see the pirate themed course down the way, as well as Playland's Castaway Cove, the amusement park, in the distance.  Ten years ago we played mini golf at Playland's course, which was a lot of fun!

This was quite the hole.  We weren't sure how to play it because it looked like your ball would be lost forever if it went in the water on the left.  But sure enough, it actually channeled the ball to a separate spot and sent it right toward the hole!

Jacob actually asked to do a selfie, so of course I obliged!  Happy Birthday to me!

There was even an animatronic monkey who sang.  It was pretty silly!

We had a lot of fun and hopefully we can go back another time and try a different course!

After golf we were completely done with the heat and humidity, so we opted to go outside Ocean City for lunch.  As awesome as the boardwalk offerings can be, they're not super gluten-free-friendly, and by this point we just needed some air conditioning and some reliable food.  The next town over had a Chipotle, so we headed there and very much enjoyed our late lunch.  God knows my body needed some salad by this point in the trip.

I thought it might be an interesting exercise to check out Atlantic City for the afternoon.  The last time we went to the shore 10 years ago, we ended up staying in Atlantic City because Ocean City is crazy expensive and the beach was free to access.  The boardwalk is a far cry from Ocean City's, but I thought it would be an interesting experience for the kids to see another spot.  And, honestly, I was slightly interested to see post-Trump Atlantic City, since both of his casinos there are no more.  One had its tower imploded within the last year, although parts of it are still standing, and the other was converted into the Hard Rock Hotel.  So, I figured if nothing else it would be interesting to see the evolution of those parts of the boardwalk.  

However, as it was my birthday, I made the executive decision that we were first going to stop at Borgata, which is in the Marina District.  If you recall from our last trip, we tried to stop there to eat (in part because I knew there was a Chihuly there somewhere), but were greeted with a sign that said no unregistered guests under 18 were permitted inside.  This time I figured at worst I'd just leave the boys in the van and run in myself to find the Chihulys, of which there were now more!  This time the signs only said that people under 21 weren't allowed on the casino floor, and that was good enough for me!  We walked into the retail area, at which point I left them behind because I honestly wasn't sure just how close they could get to the casino floor.  Could they go on the tile walkways but not on the carpet?  I feel like that's how Vegas was, but I just wasn't sure how much criss-crossing of the floor I might be doing and figured maybe I'd be more efficient solo and they could entertain themselves in the shops.

I had no idea what I was really looking for, but I stuck around the perimeter of the casino and figured eventually I'd see something.  Sure enough, maybe a quarter of the way around I caught a glimpse and walked into the front lobby.  YES!

It was beautiful!  Between the hanging piece and the two towers, I didn't know where to look first!

The towers were cool and quite different.  I've seen individual pieces like those but not so much in a tower like this.

After getting my fill, I continued around because I knew there was one in other spot.  As I walked, I noticed this one down a long hall that was blocked off.  I'm not sure if that went to the sister hotel, or what, but I grabbed the best pic I could with my actual camera through dim lighting and zoom.  The colors looked really pretty on this one and I wished I could have gotten closer. 

As I continued to walk it became apparent that almost every "crossroads" in the casino had a smaller Chihuly dangling above.  I felt weird whipping out my phone every time I walked under one, especially since they don't like cameras in casinos, but I made it pretty obvious I was just going for the Chihulys.   

I eventually made it back to where I left the boys, and they were bearing a gift--they bought me a birthday cupcake in a cup from the Borgata Bakery!  However, I still hadn't found the one other spot I was looking for, so I used Craig's phone for a minute (mine was being grumpy) and did more research until I had a better idea of what I was looking for.  I left them one more time and followed the signs to the sports book area.  There was a hallway I didn't go down the last time, and sure enough, at the end of it was another lobby.  And this is what greeted me!

There were even those round floats under the panels of the glass bottomed bridge.  It was so lovely and pretty, and I tried to grab pics from every possible angle as quickly as possible while still trying to appreciate what was in front of me.  On my way back, I walked back through the first lobby one more time, soaked in every bit of those red and orange masterpieces, and then headed back to the boys, jubilant and successful!

I can't say the guys were particularly excited to go to the boardwalk, but we forged ahead.  We drove up and down the main drag just eyeing things up and looking for a good place to park.  We saw the backs of the casinos, including one of the remaining structures from Trump Plaza.  You could just see where the letters were, and that the center of the crest was removed.

We also saw the Absecon lighthouse down at the far end of the strip, which I don't recall seeing last time.

Eventually we found a $5 lot to park in near the center of the boardwalk.  It was much cloudier by this point, so while it was still quite hot, it wasn't as oppressive as it was in the morning.  Still, I knew this would be a battle.  As we walked up to the boardwalk, we were talking about how crappy and shady our hotel had been the last time we were there.  It was only a block from the beach, though, and was a branded hotel, which had given me hope.  But admittedly, it wasn't the best.  But as we were walking, I had a realization that the taffy advertisement on the building nearby was near our hotel, and we had literally just walked right by the hotel!  We had parked on the same street, almost right across from it.  Ha, what were the odds?!  It seemed to be even more of an island in the middle of nothing than I recall it being before, and it definitely looked just as shady.  Given our hotel issues the night before, seeing that one likely made Jacob question my hotel choosing abilities even more.  

The boardwalk was actually worse than I remembered.  Not only was the contrast to Ocean City even clearer, but everything that had been there had 10 more years of wear and tear.  Things were more faded, crumbling in spots, and just generally more rundown.  Still, there were a couple nice spots.

We walked down to the Steel Pier area near the Hard Rock Hotel.  Carter was practically salivating at the sight of the rides, but we weren't going to do that here.  We were saving it for that night!

Definitely a different look than when it was Trump Taj Mahal!

Then we walked down the other way as far as the famous Boardwalk Hall.  I realized that last time we were there they were doing some upgrades, and it definitely looked better.

It's definitely a majestic, historical building!

But as a whole, it was sort of depressing to see how things had gone downhill.  Even the mall that was out on a pier looked like it was a shell of its former self.  We didn't even go in.  The visitor center on the boardwalk where we took a cute picture with Mr. Peanut was closed and dilapidated.  It was just...sad.  Meanwhile, the boys were basically doing nothing but complaining about the walk, particularly when I vetoed Jacob playing a basketball game on the boardwalk because it was extra expensive and we know all those things are rigged.  Sigh.  Eventually we made our way back to the car and headed back to Ocean City.  It was almost 6pm and it was time for the rides to open!  

Since Craig and Jacob are anti-rides, they went back to the arcade.  Carter and I went to Playland's Castaway Cove, and I double checked the ticket counts before buying just enough for us to go on three rides--Double Shot, Alien Invasion, and GaleForce.  First up was Double Shot.  Since Carter wasn't big enough to ride the drop tower at Darien Lake, I figured this was a good opportunity to experience one, especially since it wasn't super tall.  Darien Lake's is 185 feet tall, and Cedar Point's is 240 feet.  This one turned out to be 110 feet, and though it looked shorter from the ground, it felt every single foot tall when we were on it!  It shot up and bounced down a few times, and then did it all over again.  I'll be honest--it was intense!  The free fall feeling as it shot up and started to drop was crazy, and I could hear Carter screaming next to me, just hoping he was learning to love that momentary fear feeling as it transitioned to adrenaline!  I was actually a little worried, because if it caught me off-guard, how would he do?  I checked to make sure he was ready for the second round, and he seemed shocked but ready.  We screamed like crazy, but when we got off he insisted he liked it!

Next up was Alien Invasion. It was just like Devil's Hole at Fantasy Island, which Carter rode at three years old and LOVED!  We hadn't been on one since and I figured this was a good opportunity to do it again.  He wasn't quite as giggly as he'd been the first time, when it cracked me up watching him, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.

Our last ride was even a little intimidating to me!  GaleForce was new since the last time we were there, and it looked like quite a ride!  It was extra interesting since it was practically intertwined with another more standard coaster.  I had never been on one quite like this.  You can see more pictures of it here.  It had a near-vertical drop, and lots of twists and turns.  I had no idea what to expect, so Carter and I were on equal footing!  It wasn't cheap to ride, but it was totally worth it!  It started out by shooting forward about halfway up the hill, then shot backward, and then flew forward fully up the hill.  It whipped up and around a couple times, and then did the whole thing over again!  The one funny thing about it was that you got such a beautiful view over the beach and boardwalk, but that just as you were at the top, it whipped you away from the view!  It was crazy and I was again a little nervous about Carter because he's so serious on rides, but he came off excited!

Our tickets were gone, but on the way out I had to take a pic of the ferris wheel, and we also eyed up something I might like to do next time--it was like a paratrooper ride but with wings you could control to change up your ride.  It looked so cool!  You can see one in action here.

We couldn't pass up the photo op back out on the boardwalk!

Happy riders!

Just as we got back to the arcade, I heard some interesting music and realized it was the weekly Mummer's Night on the boardwalk!  The Mummers are a string band that parades down the boardwalk in crazy costumes.  It was really cool.  I only took a quick video because I wanted to get pictures, too, but here's a little sample:

I was so glad we caught it since I see them on Facebook all the time.  They're definitely a tradition there, and it was a great way to end the night and our time in Ocean City.  

With that, it was time to head back to the hotel.  We thought about food on the boardwalk, but ended up settling on picking up some snacks at a Wawa gas station and getting Chick-fil-A next to the hotel.  I was desperate to get a Philly-style pretzel at Wawa (I got two!), and the boys ended up with some Dippin' Dots-style ice cream.  We drove back to the hotel and waited in an eternal drive-thru line for Chick-fil-A.  I just got mac and cheese, Jacob got fries, and Craig and Carter got their usuals.  We ate in the room and I was once again on hotel booking duty.  Since we had cut a night off our trip and were so traumatized from this hotel, we ended up upgrading to a Tru by Hilton, which was the same brand that we once stayed at in Syracuse that had a basketball court.  This one did not, sadly, but we were eager for a good breakfast, decent gym, and comfortable room.  After that was settled, I ended up being too full for my cake in a jar, but it was a pretty decent birthday nonetheless.  I was so happy to have seen the Chihulys and done those three rides with Carter, and aside from the Atlantic City complaints, it was a fun day.  We had two days left, and on to the next stop in the morning!