News & Notes, the Two Weeks Old Edition (with pics!)

Carter turned two weeks old last night.  I can hardly believe it.  I'm technically a third of the way through my maternity leave, though I'm taking an extra week of vacation so I'm not quite there yet.  I'm really appreciating maternity leave so much more this time.  Perhaps it's because I'm not sitting in a sweltering house with a baby who won't nap--in fact, it's practically the direct opposite--but regardless, I feel like there's so much more of an ease to it than last time.  I don't know if I was more worried about being tired, or if Jacob really was that much harder, or what...but this time has been downright blissful in comparison.  I'm a little worried it's going to be way harder to go back this time.

I can't even describe what a relief it is to feel comfortable in my own body again.  Because I was never that uncomfortable last time, I think I missed being pregnant more last time.  My belly felt empty without the kicks and the constant (quiet) companionship.  This time, I think it was such a relief to not feel so ridiculously uncomfortable that I haven't really missed being pregnant at all.  I mean, I have moments where I'm sorry that phase is over because it is such a unique experience, but I'm okay with it being done.  There are still moments where I can't believe it is over--that over eight months of build-up (plus more than a year before that of trying) was over in twelve hours of craziness!  I don't know if I was expecting more or if it's just that I was still sort of expecting to be pregnant at this point, but once in a while it just catches me off-guard that I'm not pregnant anymore.  But I so appreciate being able to move around and sleep comfortably.  I can lounge with Jacob on his bed at night, stand at the sink without a sore back, bend over without discomfort, and sit without having aches and pains from one body part or another.  It's so amazing to feel so good, particularly now that I'm feeling so much better after the delivery.  Most of my discomfort is gone, and I'm also having considerably less engorgement discomfort, too.

Watching "A Baby Story" a ton while I've been home has been sort of an interesting thing.  It gives me more of an appreciation for what I've been through.  It's given me the opportunity to relive the moment Carter was born quite a bit, because it was such a great moment.  With Jacob, I was so exhausted and in so much pain.  I was expecting a lot of relief the second he was born, and it didn't happen, which was disappointing.  It was awesome when he was born, but I was so disoriented that I don't think I really got to enjoy it.  This time I was still in a lot of pain, but there was a definite decrease in pain when Carter was born and I was conscious enough to enjoy the moment when they put him on my chest.  It was pretty amazing, and if I'm sad about anything having to do with not having more kids, that's probably one of the big things I'll miss not being able to experience again (however, the hour that preceded it was pretty miserable and I will NOT miss doing that again.). 

Yesterday was Carter's two-week checkup.  I was very nervous about his weight, since he didn't feel any heavier to me and didn't seem to be fitting into his clothes any differently.  He'd also been a little hot and cold on feedings in the days leading up to the appointment.  But when they put him on the scale, much to my surprise, he'd gained nearly a pound!  He clocked in at 6 pounds, 12 oz., which blows away his birth weight by over half a pound!  Now he's pretty much the size Jacob was when he was born.  The doctor checked on his belly button, which has been oozing blood a bit since his stump fell off, but she said that should be fine within another week or so.  His circumcision has healed as well.  Everything else checked out perfectly and we don't have to go back for another three weeks.  It was so good to hear he is growing and everything seems to be exactly as it should be.  Because he was early he will be measured by his due date for the next two years, so it won't be a surprise if he doesn't hit milestones when they'd normally be expected for how old he actually is based on his birth date. 

And now for a few pictures...starting with Jacob holding his brother for the first time.  We had to bribe him.

Do Jacob's legs look a mile long, or what?

A look at how Carter still wants to be in utero.  He wants to be all curled up!

A look at him in just his diaper after his first real bath, which he hated...which isn't surprising considering how he still screams through diaper changes.  I liked having pictures like this of Jacob because the changing pad was a good measure of how he grew.

Look at the chicken legs!

And a sleepy shot with a smile...I love having my iPod with me constantly so I can catch shots like this...

Life is good right now, despite Jacob's continued disinterest in his brother and the fact that Craig is on a roadtrip for the weekend.  My parents are here today, which is nice.  Jacob and I had a chance to go out by ourselves for some lunch and a trip to the library.  Hopefully he appreciated the solo time!  It's too bad it's so rare right now, but it won't be like this forever!  I'm just trying to appreciate each moment for what it is, while it lasts.  I know how quickly it goes!

Big Boy, Little Boy

It's no secret that we've had our share of difficulties with Jacob.  He's an intelligent but very challenging kid, yet despite having some extreme moments with him over the past few months, I'd say that overall he's easier now than he was a while ago.  He at least has some really great moments to get us through the hard stuff, moments where you can see the awesome side of his personality.

Obviously the last couple weeks have been on the tougher side, particularly for me.  Yes, Craig has had to deal with Jacob's near-constant demands to play, but at least they're spending quality time together and getting to bond.  Jacob pretty much doesn't want to deal with me at all.  It's been very hard to connect with him.  Even when we're having a decent moment, he tends to sabotage it by acting up.  As frustrated as I've been in some moments with him over the years, it always seemed that a good hug or snuggle could fix everything.  It hasn't felt as much like that lately, and it makes me sad.

The crazy thing is that up until two weeks ago, Jacob was all I knew of parenting.  He was my only child, the one who taught me everything I knew about being a parent.  My parenting abilities grew and changed with him.  And then Carter arrived.  He started another chapter of my parenting story, and while my experience with Jacob has served me well so far, Carter will inevitably enhance it in his own way. 

I'm actually surprised how quickly I acclimated back to caring for a newborn.  I guess it's sort of like riding a bicycle.  But despite Carter's neediness, I suppose his needs are easier to care for than Jacob's.  Less complicated, at the very least.  He just needs to be fed, changed, and loved.  Jacob needs everything right at this moment, and everything comes with an argument attached.  It becomes infinitely harder to deal with that when there's another child's needs to attend to.  Even still, that assumes that he'll allow me to attend to his needs, which isn't really happening much right now. 

The hard thing is that the disconnect seems to be getting bigger by the day, and I'm not sure what to do to fix it.  All of a sudden, parenting Jacob feels almost unnatural.  And like I said, that comes as a surprise since up until two weeks ago, he was all I knew of parenting.  Maybe it's just that newborns bring out every crazy little maternal instinct, so caring for Carter is something that comes directly from my gut and seems to override everything else.  Suddenly his baby soft skin, smooth hair, and delicate little body parts feel more natural than Jacob's gangly limbs, dry skin, and scruffy hair. 

I don't know how to help Jacob get through this.  He knows that I have to spend a lot of time with Carter (and he's right--the kid eats nearly every two hours during the day right now--though he does usually give me a break overnight), so it's hard to find a good spot to really focus on Jacob when he's not running off determined to do something else.  And even when we do have alone time, like we try to get some nights at bedtime, he ends up acting up and I leave.  Maybe I need to push through it and stay so he knows I won't abandon him even if he's being naughty, but it's a fine line.   

It's amazing to me what a contrast the two boys are to each other right now.  I know that four years and eight months is a lot of time between two kids, but I don't think I realized how complicated it is to parent both at the same time, because each needs such different elements of my parenting arsenal and it's hard to shift from one to the other at a moment's notice.  I value both roles so much, but I'm not sure how to balance them right now.  Carter has needs that only I can meet right now, but Jacob's needs are more immediate and potentially more damaging if not attended to appropriately.  I've always heard everyone talk about the challenges of having two or more kids, but I guess I didn't realize they went so far beyond just the time constraints. 

I know we're not even two weeks into this journey and we will figure it out at some point, but it is definitely a challenge at this point.  A challenge worth taking on, though, no doubt.

One-A-Day

Last time I was on maternity leave, I had very low expectations for myself.  My goal was to get one productive thing done per day.  It could be to clean something, do a load of laundry, call the cable company, or whatever.  It may not seem like much, but it turns out that taking care of a baby is a lot of work.  Still, the office job mentality is tough to leave behind, where you have a to do list and your self-worth is often based on what you can get done from it. 

This time around I feel a little more like an old pro, but even now I'm not quite sure where the day goes.  At this point Carter is still sleeping a lot, but I still feel like it's a challenge to get things done.  This time around I probably have more to keep me occupied, since there's Jacob's laundry and other pre-existing mom things to attend to beyond the needs of a new baby.  I try to set aside one nap for getting things done, and one nap for napping myself, but it doesn't always happen.  I'm trying to appreciate my time with Carter while I have it, so I don't hesitate to sit and hold him for a bit when he's sleeping or when he's wide awake.  I feel like my last maternity leave was a little regimented--I was so concerned with doing everything well--and I wanted to make sure I enjoyed this one more.  Last time I pushed myself to get things done when Jacob napped, to not spoil him by holding him too much, and to try to take real naps myself, but I think at some point Jacob's napping decreased greatly (it may have been some sort of colicky issues, or looking back on it it may have been his reflux, which we didn't know about until later) and I got frustrated.  That may still be ahead of us this time, too, for all I know, but I'm trying to keep things simple and casual for now.  I am trying to nap and I am trying to get things done, but I'm trying to stop and smell the roses, too. 

I do want to be a better homemaker while I can, so I'm trying to plan out better dinners, if nothing else.  I'm enjoying making my lunches--ahhh, the return of cold cuts!--and I'm doing what I can to sort through piles of stuff where I can.  It doesn't always happen as soon as I'd like, but I'll get there.  I still have to finish up a couple things in Carter's room, and I have curtains to hang in my room, but I still have a few weeks to manage that. 

The one frustration I have is that I don't really want to take Carter out into the germy world yet, but there are things I'd like to do.  I miss being able to go to Wegmans, Walmart, or Target without a big plan to make sure Carter won't be hungry and Jacob will be taken care of.  I want to help Craig out by picking up Jacob from daycare, but I'm hesitant to go there with Carter because inevitably there will be a lot of germy people wanting to get a look at him.  I'd love to stop into my office and grab a couple things I left there in the rush to leave, and Craig's office finally wants to give us the shower that had to be postponed, in the form of a lunch, but I'm admittedly nervous.  I'd like to get out in the world and feel productive.  Last time I was so nervous about taking Jacob out that I didn't even really want to be out very much, but this time I know I can do it (though I need some practice!) so perhaps I'm less hesitant. 

It's just funny how productivity changes once you have a baby.  I know that my job right now is to take care of Carter, and it's the most important position I can have.  Of course, my part time job in the evenings is to make dinner and take care of Jacob, too.  There's definitely a lot to juggle, and it will only get worse once I go back to work.  So for now I'm trying to enjoy the slower pace and maximize the time I have, while still being as productive as I can be.  But if I only get one other thing done each day, so be it.  I have something much better to occupy my time right now...

A Picture of Motherhood

The other day we had a couple FaceTime sessions on my iPod, first with my parents and then with my brother's family.  Technology is amazing that they could see Carter from across the country, and I could see my niece and nephew, who are getting so big!  The program has a window to show you what your camera is capturing, and I noticed that my hair was behaving and the lighting coming in through the window was good.  I snapped an Instagram shot and posted  it with the caption "Happy mama..."  I was feeling very peaceful at that moment, with a sleeping baby on my chest.

The picture got a ton of likes on Facebook, which was really sweet.  I actually think it captures motherhood pretty well...sleeping baby, half happy, half tired, no makeup.  But it did turn out nice.  Yay for good lighting :)

Things are going okay these days.  Carter is adorable, of course.  He's sleeping well, maybe too well since we've had some long stretches and he probably should be eating more for his size.  However, he's making up for it by cluster feeding.  He's eating every couple hours and even kept me up until after 1:30 last night wanting to eat constantly, which was so frustrating.  But then he slept until 6am!

We bribed Jacob to hold his brother last night.  It was brief, though.  I'll post the picture soon.  He's continued to be difficult and wants to monopolize Craig's time whenever he's home.  He plays lacrosse or basketball in his room most of the time, but does take breaks to play Craig's table hockey or to play with his Legos or Playmobil guys.  We survived Saturday without Craig, with a little assist from Lori in the evening.  This weekend is his first roadtrip, and my parents will be joining us for a day, fresh off my mom's retirement! Two kids is a challenge, for sure!

Carter's umbilical cord stump fell off Saturday morning, but I think it may have been a bit premature, because it's still been bleeding a little bit.  Nothing crazy, but just a little bloody crust to clean whenever I change him.  I'm thinking he might also have a minor umbilical hernia because of the way it bulges out, but I could be wrong.  Still waiting for his circumcision to finish healing, though, before we can do regular baths.  I did an awkward sponge bath last night, though.  We'll check things out Friday, if nothing else.

Today I tried on a pair of my old stretched out jeans, ones that I wore prior to my pregnancy with Jacob and decided post-pregnancy that they needed replacing, and they fit!  I haven't dug much into non-maternity clothes yet, but my stomach has gone down a lot so I probably should.  I'm glad to have gotten my ring back on the other day, and it's nice to see the weight dropping off.  At this point I'm not sure if it's just water weight or if nursing is doing its magic, but I'll take it.

Maternity leave has been nice so far.  I truly think that our rough start last time really threw me off a lot.  This time I feel a lot more at peace and a lot more content most of the time.  Admittedly, a night like last night (where I was so tired and he just wanted to keep nursing) was hard and makes me question my abilities a bit, but for the most part I feel so much better than last time.  I'm trying to appreciate this experience more because it should be our last, and I know now how quickly it goes.  He's such a precious little gift and I love the faces, the noises, the squirms, and every little body part.  And I look forward to seeing the little boy he's going to become...even though I'm well aware that he could be as much of a challenge as his brother one day.  But I love being home with him right now and having a little time to relax and not freak out completely if I'm up with him at night.  I'm still not great at napping because I feel like there's always something to do--getting myself together, laundry, blogging, cleaning up, reading the paper--but I'm working on it.

Anyway, I guess that's the update for now...

To the Big Brother

Dear Jacob,

I wish that I could write this letter and tell you what a fantastic big brother you've been in the past week.  I wish I could tell you that you took to the role immediately, that you jumped in to help, that you loved your brother from the get-go...but no, I can't say any of that because it hasn't happened.  As I'd feared, this transition has been a challenge for you. 

I was hopeful when you walked into my hospital room last Saturday with a shy smile on your face, appearing pleasantly curious about the little baby in my arms and remarking about how he wasn't in my belly anymore.  You were never really into my pregnancy, but there were times that it seemed like you thought the big brother role would be cool.  There was no way to really prepare you for what we're going through now, because I wasn't even sure how it would be having two kids to care for, let alone how you'd respond.  I knew that your patience (or lack thereof) would be a major challenge, since I knew that I'd often be chained to the couch nursing and wouldn't be able to jump to attention every time you asked for something.  You've ruled the roost for nearly five years, so I'm not surprised that we're having issues now.  We were stuck between wanting to be honest with you about the changes to come and not wanting to make you jaded from the beginning.  This is definitely a huge transition, but I was hoping that when you saw that we were bringing home a real live baby, that maybe you'd embrace the role and be okay with it.

Unfortunately, it's been a trying week.  I admit that I'm probably not at my most patient when I'm tired, but at the same time, you're making things so hard on yourself.  You don't need to argue with us about well-known factual things (you know that the football team in San Francisco is the 49ers, not the Giants, and yet we argued about that today).  You don't need to keep doing things after we've asked you to stop, and you really don't need to do them with a knowing smile on your face.  Telling us no, refusing to obey, and telling me that you want me to live in a different house is not really appreciated.  I know you're only four, but you're making things worse for yourself by being so defiant.  You could be getting spoiled left and right because everyone is really concerned about how you're transitioning, but at this point I'm not wanting to do you any extra favors because your attitude has been horrific at times.  I know you need attention, but the negative behavior does not encourage me to shower you with the good kind because you don't need rewards right now. 

I'm trying to spend time with you where I can--books at bedtime, looking at your Legos, and playing table hockey--but inevitably you start pulling out the smart remarks and argumentative attitude so I don't stick around for long.  I spend a lot of time nursing your brother, so I know it's hard.  I'm sorry that I can't do more for you, but I'm learning how to do this, too.  I want to help you through this, but you won't talk to me about what's bothering you.  I'm just not sure how to help you at this point.

You still haven't held him or fed him.  We don't want to push, but you definitely need some prodding so hopefully we can work on that this week.  I want pictures of my two boys together, and so far there's not much along those lines.  I know you can't teach him how to play sports yet, and I know he's doesn't do much of interest, but it wouldn't kill you to try to be a little interested in something more than just his poop.  Grandpa is convinced he can push you along, too, but I'm pretty sure we need to take some baby steps (no pun intended) and move you along a little at a time.  Years down the road when your brother is your best friend, we'll look back on this and laugh about how ridiculous you're being now.  It will probably seem impossible that there was ever a time that you weren't inseparable. 

But right now, it's not so funny.  I miss hanging out with my first little boy. You were my baby once, too, and even though someone else is filling that role now, that doesn't mean you can't hold an extra special role now as the awesome big brother we can be proud of. I know you never asked for any of this, but I promise, the effort you put in now will be worth it later when you have the awesome brotherly love relationship that we so badly wanted for you when we found out this baby was a boy. He'll look up to you so much and you have so much to share with him...but none of it can happen if you don't give it shot. 

I hope you realize soon that we can have a lot more fun if you just listen and learn to deal.  Easier said than done, but trust me--you'll be a whole lot cuter and a lot easier to spoil if you look like you're putting in a solid effort to adjust to this.  Ignoring your brother and complaining about his presence isn't really making life easier for any of us, so please feel free to talk to us and help us understand what we can do for you.  Your sleepy mommy needs the confidence boost and your overworked daddy needs to not play sports the entire time he's home with you.  I can't guarantee we can always make it work the way you want, but we'll try.  We're not asking much, but we need some effort on your end.  Please.  Hang in there and help us out a bit.  We love you, buddy, and we hope someday you will love your brother, too. Just wait until the first time he laughs at you.  It'll be worth it, I promise.

Love,
Mommy

Have I Mentioned...? Part 2

- Carter's doctor's appointment Wednesday went well. It turned out that his doctor had a med student with her, so it was a very interesting appointment. She had to explain everything she was doing, everything she was checking, and give him a chance to do some of it, too. Despite the fact that he hates being naked, Carter was very good. He was awake, patient, and did a great job. He'd lost another ounce since leaving the hospital, but the doctor said that babies usually bottom out around the fifth day, so now that my milk was in, he'd probably move up nicely. She sent us for bloodwork to check on the jaundice, and while his level was up, she said that bilirubin usually peaks around day 5 as well, so that shouldn't get any higher either, especially since he's been peeing and pooping like a champ. Otherwise, the doctor was very pleased with what she was seeing and hearing, so it appears we have a healthy little guy. We go back in a week, so if anything comes up in the meantime, we don't have to wait long.

- Carter came out posterior, a.k.a., sunny side up, just like we think Jacob did.  They were telling us during my delivery with Jacob that it was probably why he took so long to come out, but I never heard for sure that he did.  But Carter definitely did!  They think there's just something about the structure of my anatomy that makes them turn that way.  It makes for more uncomfortable labor and more pushing because the position doesn't make them "flow" through the birth canal as smoothly as they could.  Lucky me to possibly have had two!  The pediatrician made me sound like a hero when she was explaining it to her student!

- Technology has made this experience quite different than last time.  Yes, I blogged last time, too, but this time we had Facebook!  It's been fun to post news and photos and come back to an avalanche of "likes" and comments.  It's also sort of cool to have my iPod next to me most of the time so I can take quick pictures when I can't reach my camera.  Why is my iPod next to me all the time?  Well, I've been using an app to track nursing.  It is nice to have something that helps me time nursing sessions and remember which side I've last nursed on.  It also keeps a record of all sessions, which is pretty handy to have too.  Not to mention that it passes the time during those night feedings to sneak in a game of Candy Crush or Bejeweled Blitz!

- For those wondering about the origins of Carter's name...well, Carter was just a name we liked and could agree on.  I don't want to say it was process of elimination, but it wasn't far from it.  There were a lot of names we liked, but that didn't work with our last name or just didn't seem right for our kid.  For whatever reason, Carter stuck.  As for the middle name, we debated this right up until he was born.  At some point a while back I suggested Garrett as a twist on my dad's name, Gary.  Jacob's middle name is a family name--Craig's dad and grandfather, as well as Craig's middle name--so it made sense to give Carter a middle name that was a family name on my side.  However, my family doesn't have a lot to work with.  We have some odd names (one of my grandfathers was Eldred, for example), and while there was one name that spanned both sides (Frederick), it seemed too long and too old.  Also, some of our choices seemed funny with Carter because of celebrities or characters with the last name.  For example, Craig had wanted to use the name Aaron (because of Hank Aaron), but there's a boy band singer named Aaron Carter.  John would have honored a couple people on my side of the family as well as Craig's great uncle who passed away while I was pregnant, but John Carter is a movie character as well as the doctor on ER (who, honestly, might have made us like the name more), but it seemed weird.  Even the attempt at honoring my dad would have been odd, since there was a baseball player named Gary Carter.  Anyway, the night before Carter was born (given some of the signs that things might be happening), I brought up Garrett again.  It seemed a random choice, but at least we could assign some meaning to it, which was more than we could say for any of the other names we could agree on.  We still debated right up until I was in the delivery room.  The big joke was also that Garrett is the first name of a lacrosse player for the Toronto Rock who kills the Knighthawks every time he plays against them, and Craig said it would be a sign to go with the name if he scored the first goal in the game he was playing in that night.  He didn't get the first goal, but he did assist on it and ended up with 10 points that night, so we took that as sign enough, and Garrett it was.  We've gotten good reviews on the name, so I guess we made a good choice :)

- Our schedules have been all over the place.  We had that one great night, followed by two rough nights and one rough day, and then another good night last night.  The rough nights are mostly him wanting to be awake and not go back to sleep after feedings.  Yesterday's rough day was a combination of him being sleepy all day and not wanting to feed normally.  He's so skinny already that I don't like it when he doesn't eat.  A lot of times he'll seem hungry and eat well, but only for a few minutes.  I try to keep him awake, burp him, change him, and do what I can to keep him feeding, but it's not easy.  He'll figure it out eventually, I'm sure. 

- Hard to believe that it's been a full week since this whole thing really got started!  Right about now last week I was working away at my desk, and when I got up to go to the bathroom, everything got moving!  And tonight at 10:32pm, Carter will officially be a week old!  What a week it has been. 

The Way We Were

Carter is now five days old.  Hard to believe we're just a couple days shy of a week!  Looking back in the blog, I see that the five day mark for Jacob was the day of my big breakdown.  I had been spending a ton of time at the hospital and struggled through healing, engorgement, pumping, and the general stress of having a baby in the hospital.  I was stuck in a little room adjacent to the special care nursery, and I wasn't able to be comfortable or take regular naps or anything that I probably should have been doing.  I was worried about not being able to pump enough, and spending enough time at the hospital to nurse as much as possible.  I didn't want to have to supplement with formula.  And in the late afternoon of day five, all of it broke me down.  I couldn't handle it anymore.  I broke down sobbing, and pretty much didn't stop for three hours.  We were supposed to go out to a nice dinner with my parents, but I was in no shape for that.  Craig drove me home and I holed up in our room to cry it out.  Eventually I emerged to do some internet research on formula supplementation, then came out to eat some Wendy's, including a giant Frosty.  We watched the first episode of "Wipeout", which actually got me laughing on one of the worst days of my life.

In retrospect, I know that it was a combination of hormones, exhaustion, and stress that drove me to that moment.  It may have seemed irrational at the time, but it was a very real problem for me at the time, and it was the first time I realized how important sleep was.  I had to take care of myself in order to properly take care of my baby, and without sleep that was so much harder, mentally and physically. 

Fast-forward to today, five days into our time with Carter, and it's a vastly different picture.  He came home on time, and we've had plenty of ability to hang out at home, stay well-rested, and get to know him.  At this point with Jacob we were still pretty clueless to his rhythms because our experiences with him were only in the nursery.  We've had all this extra time to get used to Carter, and while we're still a little clueless most of the time, this time has been such a bonus.  I don't feel like I've had to battle hormones, and my outlook has been mostly positive.  Nursing issues in the last day or so (engorgement along with shorter feeding sessions--sometimes one right after the other) have left me a little more worried and frustrated than I had been up until this point, but the difference between the two experiences has been nearly night and day. 

Last time around I wondered how new moms functioned at home with a newborn while still having so much healing to do, but it turns out that it was easier to spend that time at home with a baby than doing it in the hospital or in the special care nursery.  Maybe my healing was easier this time so it would have been easier regardless of where, but it's been so nice to be at home.  Comfortable chairs, my own TV and bed, and easy access to food makes things so much easier. 

In a little while we're heading out to the doctor's office for Carter's first appointment.  I'm a little nervous about his jaundice.  He's been pooping and peeing like a champ, but I've never been very good at seeing the yellow so it's hard to tell how much it is still affecting him.  I'm sure he's fine, but you always second-guess yourself with a new baby.  He's also been a little congested--lots of sneezes and snorts and squeaks--so I'll ask about that, too.  I'm interested to see his weight and get the little confidence boost that we're doing okay.  That said, I'm a little nervous about taking him out for the first time, particularly with his errratic nursing schedule. 

Still, compared to where we were at this point with Jacob, it blows my mind how much different our experience has been.  I feel like this has healed some of the lasting frustration I had from our first go-around, which was one of the things I really wanted from this experience.  Having a healthy baby was number one, but having a "normal" experience was really important to me.  And considering how crazy the labor experience was (again...though in a different way), it's been nice to have one thing go according to plan.  Not much does when it comes to new babies, so for that I am grateful.  We are truly blessed.