Normally I'm fighting against the end of summer with every fiber of my being. And don't get me wrong--the second the weather turns I'm going to be regretting every single second where I didn't suck every drop of life out of this summer. But it was a weird summer, a very busy one, and I'm not entirely upset about its end. I'm sure that as the weeks go on, I'm going to start remembering a long list of activities I wanted to do this summer that we never got to do, and I'll probably be sad that we missed our chance. But at the same time, the arrival of fall brings a deep exhale. The weather will start to cool, which will be a welcome relief from the high 80s to mid-90s we had for a good portion of the summer. Craig's summer lacrosse season is over and he'll be home on weekends most of the time from now until at least late fall when training camp starts. Our long list of weekend activities and reasons to travel to Buffalo nearly every weekend will slow, although most weekends this month do seem to have potential activities--we're going to the Bills' home opener, we have the potential for at least one baseball-related trip, and I'm trying to schedule a long-overdue weekend to spend with my oldest friend.
Even this weekend had its share of activities. My birthday was Friday. I took off work to have a day for myself. I hung out around the house in the morning and spent the afternoon shopping. We went out to dinner and did a little more shopping afterward. Saturday we mostly just relaxed. Sunday we were off to Buffalo for Craig's dad's birthday, and Jacob spent the afternoon swimming and the evening playing baseball. I insisted that we come home that night because I wanted to wake up in my own bed this morning and have a whole day here to rest up for jumping back into the work week. I had a productive morning--a couple loads of laundry, vacuuming the main floor of the house, cleaning the whole bathroom, and trying on a bunch of Jacob's clothes to see what still fit him or what new stuff might be ready to enter the rotation.
It felt great to get some long-overdue tasks done--including finally putting away Jacob's potty. I had been meaning to do that for weeks but just never got around to wiping it down and putting it away. He still used it 99% of the time at home, even though he's totally fine with regular toilets everywhere else. I'm tired of dumping it and rinsing it out, and he seemed to linger on the potty much longer than when he used a regular toilet, so that bit of procrastination is hopefully done now. I am not sorry to see that thing go. It's been living in our bathroom since around his second birthday, and it's nice to reclaim that floor space. I think he feels like an extra big boy without it, so that's nice, too.
My parents come into town for the afternoon. They did some geocaching along the way, then spent the afternoon hanging out in and around the pool with Jacob. We had a lovely dinner with them, then headed out to utilize a buy-one-get-one-free Blizzard coupon at our new Dairy Queen after my parents left. I had plenty of chances to relax this weekend, but I also did a lot and I am beat! I should just go to bed but I have some laundry to fold.
Still, the end of the summer has come and we only went to a few baseball games, only went mini-golfing once, still didn't get to an amusement park, didn't go to our local spray park (though Jacob went with daycare), and we didn't spend as much time as we should in the pool. I didn't hang out on my front porch, didn't ride my bike enough, and didn't spend quiet nights on our patio enjoying the sounds of nature. One of my favorite things to do in past summers was go out for an evening swim. That didn't happen this year, probably for fear of mosquitoes. I didn't take Jacob to enough playgrounds or on enough wagon rides or big wheel rides. I can't take all the blame for that, however--Jacob's pretty into his other sports and convincing him to do anything else is tough. We didn't go to any festivals or lawn fetes. We didn't have picnics or run through sprinklers. We only spent one short spell at the beach, and didn't go on a "real" vacation. We had a great few days with my family in Massachusetts, but the usual week in some interesting locale with lots of sightseeing stops just didn't happen. We have Disney coming up in November, so it's not a major deal, but summer is unique and I always regret not using enough of my vacation days while the weather is nice. I didn't take off a few days to spend at home, either, so our Goodwill donations are still not documented, our carpet is still not ordered, and our dishwasher and ceiling fan still need a repair person.
But ahead are pumpkin patches and leaf piles, apple cider and Halloween, fall foliage and earth tone decor, crunchy apples and warm apple pie, a trip to Florida and Thanksgiving dinner(s). The pressure to be outside doing something fun will reduce, and jeans and hoodie weather will return. The worst part of fall is that it is followed by winter, but all of the stuff in between is pretty darn fun. I'll regret what we didn't do this summer, but for once I'm excited for the months to come. Stay tuned for full documentation of the fun...
Monday, September 3, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Whose kid is this?
Yesterday was a good day. Yes, it was a Monday and it was day one of Craig's work trip to Las Vegas (jealous!). It was raining, I was tired, and a post-work trip to the grocery store awaited, but it was a good day. Why, you ask? Because Jacob was an angel. Seriously. Awesome.
For all my complaining, he can be a good kid. Like the other day when he played nicely with his Legos for a couple hours while Craig and I lounged nearby. He can play independently, and he can be really sweet and loving when he tries. But man, most times he opens his mouth lately, I don't like what's coming out of it. I decided the other day that I'm very excited for school to start because the older kids in Jacob's class will be off to Kindergarten and his exposure to smart-mouthed five-year-olds will be minimal. I do think that's where a lot of it has come from, though knowing he wasn't exactly a saint for the last couple years I guess this is just the four-year-old version of bad behavior. From what I can tell, for the most part he's a good boy at daycare (or maybe he just blends in with the rest), so the misbehaving is apparently something special he saves just for us. Lovely.
Well, yesterday I was bracing myself for a long evening without Craig. I knew we needed to stop at the grocery store, and I was already yawning painfully on my way to pick up Jacob. I was greeted with a joyful, "Mommy!" when I got to daycare (much better than when he runs and hides instead), and he was still talking about the "dance party" that we had briefly discussed that morning, that he wanted to have at home in the evening. It was so cute to see him so excited about something, because it doesn't really happen all that often.
At Wegmans, I decided to let him sit in one of the car carts. We had talked about it last time we were there, and admittedly it's getting harder to fit him in the seat in the cart...and no, I don't trust him to walk yet. Of course, I discovered that those car carts are a bear to steer and push, particularly once they're loaded with groceries. But the joy on his face when he got in and I started pushing was pretty darn priceless. He loved beeping the horns and steering the wheels, and he was very well-behaved most of the time. He did get out a couple times, but got back in without much prodding. And the happiness on his face each time I bent down and checked in on him was adorable.
We got home and I made dinner, and he ate his dinner promptly and without complaint. Normally all of these post-daycare activities would have been interspersed with some sort of smart talk, complaining, squirming, and flat-out refusals, but none of that happened. It was heavenly. After dinner he played around and changed his clothes a few times in preparation for our dance party--he felt that he needed to wear nice pants, a belt, dressy socks, and dress shoes--though he was disappointed to discover that his dress shoes from last year had been packed away because he outgrew them. I'm still not clear on why he felt it was important to dress up, but it was cute nonetheless (unlike a lot of his other costume changes on any given evening).
A little while before bedtime we officially got the dance party going. We danced to music on my computer. His moves were, ummm, unique...but adorable and funny. He also created some odd little game involving his mini-hockey nets and rolling golf balls into them. In the midst of the dancing, I did take a little break to sort through his toy bins and reorganize a bit. I had been meaning to do it for a while, but I finally had a chance. It's futile to hope they'll stay that way, but it's nice to know things are somewhat organized for now.
He got ready for bed with very little drama, but we did have a few issues before he went to sleep--the usual random requests and an extra trip to the potty. But all things considered everything went amazingly well. And thank goodness, since I didn't have any backup. That's always my worst fear, that I will be worked down to my last nerve when Craig is out of town, and have no choice but to literally lock him in his room and walk away. But not last night. Today is another day, of course. We had a couple hiccups this morning but in the end he was mostly delightful. And he's looking forward to another dance party tonight!
Part of me wants to analyze this whole situation to death, and part of me knows I should just enjoy it while it lasts. But when it's this good, I'd be crazy to not want to figure out why it's so good and how we can continue this behavior forever--or at least more often than not. I don't think it's directly tied to Craig's absence--after all, Jacob loves him to death and I'd be more likely to think he'd act out while he's gone. I do think that my "we're in this together" team-oriented talk that I get into when Craig is gone for a few days in a row helps, like it gives him extra purpose or something. I'm sure the novelty would wear off quickly on a long-term basis, so maybe this is only meant to be a special thing for a precious few days, and then he'll be back to normal. It does definitely make me ponder the attention he receives (or doesn't) on a daily basis and wonder how to connect this scenario to the norm.
One thing it does tell me, however, is that we've got to be doing something right. It proves he can act like a normal, lovely child. It shows that he can be sweet, fun-loving, and downright pleasant. It's annoying, however, that there's something out there that throws him off that track all too easily and all too often. And, oh, if I could figure that out, life would be so much more pleasant. But in the meantime, if it doesn't last, I have a new trick up my sleeve courtesy of another blogger. I'll keep you posted on that one...
But pardon me now while I go bask in the joy of yesterday for the last few hours of my workday, until I pick up Jacob and see which child I bring home today...
For all my complaining, he can be a good kid. Like the other day when he played nicely with his Legos for a couple hours while Craig and I lounged nearby. He can play independently, and he can be really sweet and loving when he tries. But man, most times he opens his mouth lately, I don't like what's coming out of it. I decided the other day that I'm very excited for school to start because the older kids in Jacob's class will be off to Kindergarten and his exposure to smart-mouthed five-year-olds will be minimal. I do think that's where a lot of it has come from, though knowing he wasn't exactly a saint for the last couple years I guess this is just the four-year-old version of bad behavior. From what I can tell, for the most part he's a good boy at daycare (or maybe he just blends in with the rest), so the misbehaving is apparently something special he saves just for us. Lovely.
Well, yesterday I was bracing myself for a long evening without Craig. I knew we needed to stop at the grocery store, and I was already yawning painfully on my way to pick up Jacob. I was greeted with a joyful, "Mommy!" when I got to daycare (much better than when he runs and hides instead), and he was still talking about the "dance party" that we had briefly discussed that morning, that he wanted to have at home in the evening. It was so cute to see him so excited about something, because it doesn't really happen all that often.
At Wegmans, I decided to let him sit in one of the car carts. We had talked about it last time we were there, and admittedly it's getting harder to fit him in the seat in the cart...and no, I don't trust him to walk yet. Of course, I discovered that those car carts are a bear to steer and push, particularly once they're loaded with groceries. But the joy on his face when he got in and I started pushing was pretty darn priceless. He loved beeping the horns and steering the wheels, and he was very well-behaved most of the time. He did get out a couple times, but got back in without much prodding. And the happiness on his face each time I bent down and checked in on him was adorable.
We got home and I made dinner, and he ate his dinner promptly and without complaint. Normally all of these post-daycare activities would have been interspersed with some sort of smart talk, complaining, squirming, and flat-out refusals, but none of that happened. It was heavenly. After dinner he played around and changed his clothes a few times in preparation for our dance party--he felt that he needed to wear nice pants, a belt, dressy socks, and dress shoes--though he was disappointed to discover that his dress shoes from last year had been packed away because he outgrew them. I'm still not clear on why he felt it was important to dress up, but it was cute nonetheless (unlike a lot of his other costume changes on any given evening).
A little while before bedtime we officially got the dance party going. We danced to music on my computer. His moves were, ummm, unique...but adorable and funny. He also created some odd little game involving his mini-hockey nets and rolling golf balls into them. In the midst of the dancing, I did take a little break to sort through his toy bins and reorganize a bit. I had been meaning to do it for a while, but I finally had a chance. It's futile to hope they'll stay that way, but it's nice to know things are somewhat organized for now.
He got ready for bed with very little drama, but we did have a few issues before he went to sleep--the usual random requests and an extra trip to the potty. But all things considered everything went amazingly well. And thank goodness, since I didn't have any backup. That's always my worst fear, that I will be worked down to my last nerve when Craig is out of town, and have no choice but to literally lock him in his room and walk away. But not last night. Today is another day, of course. We had a couple hiccups this morning but in the end he was mostly delightful. And he's looking forward to another dance party tonight!
Part of me wants to analyze this whole situation to death, and part of me knows I should just enjoy it while it lasts. But when it's this good, I'd be crazy to not want to figure out why it's so good and how we can continue this behavior forever--or at least more often than not. I don't think it's directly tied to Craig's absence--after all, Jacob loves him to death and I'd be more likely to think he'd act out while he's gone. I do think that my "we're in this together" team-oriented talk that I get into when Craig is gone for a few days in a row helps, like it gives him extra purpose or something. I'm sure the novelty would wear off quickly on a long-term basis, so maybe this is only meant to be a special thing for a precious few days, and then he'll be back to normal. It does definitely make me ponder the attention he receives (or doesn't) on a daily basis and wonder how to connect this scenario to the norm.
One thing it does tell me, however, is that we've got to be doing something right. It proves he can act like a normal, lovely child. It shows that he can be sweet, fun-loving, and downright pleasant. It's annoying, however, that there's something out there that throws him off that track all too easily and all too often. And, oh, if I could figure that out, life would be so much more pleasant. But in the meantime, if it doesn't last, I have a new trick up my sleeve courtesy of another blogger. I'll keep you posted on that one...
But pardon me now while I go bask in the joy of yesterday for the last few hours of my workday, until I pick up Jacob and see which child I bring home today...
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Baseball Weekend
The past few weekends have been busy. Heck, pretty much every summer weekend has been busy. It seems like we've been on the road most of the summer. Sometimes I wonder why we bother keeping our pool. I can't remember the last time we were in it for fun. Part of that is laziness and the shorter days, not to mention Jacob's desire to play sports after dinner, but add in Craig being on the road most weekends for work and us being in Buffalo or elsewhere much of the time, there just isn't a lot of downtime. Even the staycation I was pondering most of the summer never happened, partly because of work schedules and partly because there just wasn't a major motivator. It's been a weird summer, to say the least.
Sometimes I get to this point of the summer and feel like we "failed" summer. The summer bucket list is still heavily populated and Labor Day is right around the corner. Yet I look at my photo folder and see hundreds of pictures, so I know we did something this summer. But something doesn't necessarily mean that we accomplished a lot of what we originally wanted to do. Usually baseball is a big part of our summer, and we'd only been to a few games this summer. I think the boys went to one or two games without me, mostly for Craig's player appearances for work. Beyond that, we went to one baseball game here in town (not even the Red Wings, but the Yankees' affiliate, who played a bunch of games here this summer due to stadium renovations at their home park), and one game in Cooperstown.
A few weeks ago my office decided to ditch our annual picnic and opt for a Red Wings game instead, complete with a picnic spread pregame. At least I knew that meant we'd get to one game this summer. Then a couple weeks ago, Craig was scouting out Buffalo Bisons games, since we'd been trying to get to a game there for the last few years. We hadn't been to a game there since Jacob was two, but it seems like longer than that. He found out that Saturday's game was a big night celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Bisons' stadium. Tickets were only $5, so it seemed like a good choice. In the end I agreed to make yet another trip to Buffalo to go to the game, if we came home early-ish on Sunday. I just haven't had much weekend time at home to get things done (yardwork, for one...but the flurry of tasks on a Sunday night after a trip to Buffalo--laundry, newspaper reading, etc.--always sets me behind for the rest of the week), and I needed a little time to handle all of that for a change.
Friday night we headed out to the ballpark here in town to watch the Red Wings take on the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, whose stadium we visited last summer on our big vacation. It was a beautiful night, the picnic food was great, and it was fun to see some of my co-workers' families. The Red Wings were terrible, but we still had a nice time. The funny part of the night was that Jacob told us that afternoon after daycare that one of his daycare buddies would be at the game, too. While we were there, Jacob kept asking to go find him. There were thousands of people there, so we kept pushing the request off a bit. At one point I was saying, "Jacob, there's a lot of people here and the odds of finding him are slim..." and before I could even finish my sentence I looked over, and said, "Oh, wait, there they are." Sure enough, they were sitting a couple sections over from us. We ended up almost missing them since they left just as we were heading over, but we caught them in the tunnel heading out of the stadium. The boys were shy, but it was nice to chat briefly with Jacob's buddy's parents (his mom was the one I chatted with a bit at the birthday party a few weeks back).
I only took one picture at the game, one of Jacob with this new statue in the stadium...
It was nice to sleep in our own beds again on a Friday night, and we slept in and had a relaxing start to the morning...until we realized we really needed to get packed up quickly so we could make it to Buffalo on time. We were planning on meeting up with Craig's whole family and checking out the Naval park in downtown Buffalo. They've done a ton of work there and we hadn't seen it all, so it sounded like a fun pregame activity.
There were a ton of military pieces there--planes, tanks, giant ships, and even a submarine. We didn't have time to go to the museum or go aboard the ships, so we just walked around to look at everything and pay our respects at the various memorial monuments.
And here's a look down the line at some of the ships...
It was a warm 90 degree day, so we took a bit of a detour down the way to grab some beverages and snacks. Jacob opted for some chocolate soft serve and ended up adorably messy (well, until it got really messy and then I got a little extra annoyed, but I blame the heat!).
We eventually got to the game and settled in. We had great seats, and the kids took advantage by running down to the backstop and trying to high five the mascots. Jacob's on the right with the red hat and shirt.
After our enjoyment of the pierogy race in Pittsburgh, we were happy to see that Buffalo has a race of its own--the Wing, Cheese & Celery Race! It's a chicken wing, atomic wing, cup of bleu cheese, and a stalk of celery racing against each other. The celery has never won. Ever. The celery was winning for part of our race, but the atomic wing cheated and knocked him down. Here's a shot from right before the takedown...
While I enjoyed the night as a whole, I won't lie--Jacob was an absolute pain. He didn't want real food for dinner after his ice cream, just snacks (not really my choice to get the ice cream, by the way--peer pressure!). He kept asking for souvenirs, constantly asked for water, and was rather difficult during a trip to the bathroom. He just tends to wander off and want to do something pointless and generally on the stupid side (sorry, I'm at a loss to think of a more diplomatic term...he just always wants to fiddle with something or dig in the dirt or touch something that's most definitely germy and gross, and it gets old fast. He almost kicked a woman in the bathroom doing random high kicks. Ugh!). I was completely out of patience by the end of the night.
He did seem to chill out a bit by the end of the game, thankfully. Of course, fireworks loomed. All weekend (and, really, all summer) he'd been talking about avoiding fireworks after the game. He's got this random phobia of fireworks, mostly because of the noise. No matter how many times we told him we could cover his ears and keep him safe, he remained unconvinced. However, we were all staying for the postgame fireworks, so he had no choice. The fireworks were awesome, and for the most part they weren't that loud. He really ended up liking them, and I only covered his ears once during the display when a series of big booms started. The fact that he did so well was pretty awesome, and once again, Mommy and Daddy were right--give them a chance and you might actually like them! I even had a chance to snap a few firework pictures, and I like this one...
We had another nice sleep-in this morning and headed back home around lunch time today. We had some quiet downtime this afternoon. To his credit, Jacob played nicely with Legos for a good couple hours! After a low-key dinner I headed out for some much-needed hedge trimming (yuck) and the boys played some baseball. I got a couple loads of laundry done, along with some dishes, plus I caught up on mail and newspapers. Not a bad list for the day. Finally. Of course, it's a good thing I got a lot done, because I'm flying solo this week. Craig is leaving tomorrow for a few days in Vegas for work, so it'll just be me and Jacob until Thursday evening. The good news is that I have a couple four-day work weeks in a row, bookending a four-day weekend. I'm taking off my birthday on Friday, then have Labor Day off on Monday. That will be nice, but I have a busy week to get through before that. But at least we had a fun weekend to start us out on a good note...
Sometimes I get to this point of the summer and feel like we "failed" summer. The summer bucket list is still heavily populated and Labor Day is right around the corner. Yet I look at my photo folder and see hundreds of pictures, so I know we did something this summer. But something doesn't necessarily mean that we accomplished a lot of what we originally wanted to do. Usually baseball is a big part of our summer, and we'd only been to a few games this summer. I think the boys went to one or two games without me, mostly for Craig's player appearances for work. Beyond that, we went to one baseball game here in town (not even the Red Wings, but the Yankees' affiliate, who played a bunch of games here this summer due to stadium renovations at their home park), and one game in Cooperstown.
A few weeks ago my office decided to ditch our annual picnic and opt for a Red Wings game instead, complete with a picnic spread pregame. At least I knew that meant we'd get to one game this summer. Then a couple weeks ago, Craig was scouting out Buffalo Bisons games, since we'd been trying to get to a game there for the last few years. We hadn't been to a game there since Jacob was two, but it seems like longer than that. He found out that Saturday's game was a big night celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Bisons' stadium. Tickets were only $5, so it seemed like a good choice. In the end I agreed to make yet another trip to Buffalo to go to the game, if we came home early-ish on Sunday. I just haven't had much weekend time at home to get things done (yardwork, for one...but the flurry of tasks on a Sunday night after a trip to Buffalo--laundry, newspaper reading, etc.--always sets me behind for the rest of the week), and I needed a little time to handle all of that for a change.
Friday night we headed out to the ballpark here in town to watch the Red Wings take on the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, whose stadium we visited last summer on our big vacation. It was a beautiful night, the picnic food was great, and it was fun to see some of my co-workers' families. The Red Wings were terrible, but we still had a nice time. The funny part of the night was that Jacob told us that afternoon after daycare that one of his daycare buddies would be at the game, too. While we were there, Jacob kept asking to go find him. There were thousands of people there, so we kept pushing the request off a bit. At one point I was saying, "Jacob, there's a lot of people here and the odds of finding him are slim..." and before I could even finish my sentence I looked over, and said, "Oh, wait, there they are." Sure enough, they were sitting a couple sections over from us. We ended up almost missing them since they left just as we were heading over, but we caught them in the tunnel heading out of the stadium. The boys were shy, but it was nice to chat briefly with Jacob's buddy's parents (his mom was the one I chatted with a bit at the birthday party a few weeks back).
I only took one picture at the game, one of Jacob with this new statue in the stadium...
There were a ton of military pieces there--planes, tanks, giant ships, and even a submarine. We didn't have time to go to the museum or go aboard the ships, so we just walked around to look at everything and pay our respects at the various memorial monuments.
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| Here's Jacob touching part of what we think was a submarine... |
It was a warm 90 degree day, so we took a bit of a detour down the way to grab some beverages and snacks. Jacob opted for some chocolate soft serve and ended up adorably messy (well, until it got really messy and then I got a little extra annoyed, but I blame the heat!).
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| He thought it was hilarious that he had a "goatee", and thought he looked like General Custer from Night at the Museum 2. He's been talking about being him for Halloween, so I guess he thought it was extra funny...hence the big smile! |
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| Gotta love Buster and Chip! |
At one point I got up to go get my fried bologna (a Buffalo specialty) and snapped this picture on my way out. I love this stadium dearly because I spent one of my best summers ever there (1999) as a Bisons intern. It was the internship that gave me an extra leg up on getting my Amerks internship (as hired by Craig), and I had a blast and made a couple good friends. It was a fantastic summer, and being back at the ballpark definitely made me reminisce about the good ol' days. It didn't hurt, of course, that it was the ballpark's 25th anniversary celebration so there were plenty of references to the past...
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| Another gorgeous night full of many good memories... |
While I enjoyed the night as a whole, I won't lie--Jacob was an absolute pain. He didn't want real food for dinner after his ice cream, just snacks (not really my choice to get the ice cream, by the way--peer pressure!). He kept asking for souvenirs, constantly asked for water, and was rather difficult during a trip to the bathroom. He just tends to wander off and want to do something pointless and generally on the stupid side (sorry, I'm at a loss to think of a more diplomatic term...he just always wants to fiddle with something or dig in the dirt or touch something that's most definitely germy and gross, and it gets old fast. He almost kicked a woman in the bathroom doing random high kicks. Ugh!). I was completely out of patience by the end of the night.
He did seem to chill out a bit by the end of the game, thankfully. Of course, fireworks loomed. All weekend (and, really, all summer) he'd been talking about avoiding fireworks after the game. He's got this random phobia of fireworks, mostly because of the noise. No matter how many times we told him we could cover his ears and keep him safe, he remained unconvinced. However, we were all staying for the postgame fireworks, so he had no choice. The fireworks were awesome, and for the most part they weren't that loud. He really ended up liking them, and I only covered his ears once during the display when a series of big booms started. The fact that he did so well was pretty awesome, and once again, Mommy and Daddy were right--give them a chance and you might actually like them! I even had a chance to snap a few firework pictures, and I like this one...
We had another nice sleep-in this morning and headed back home around lunch time today. We had some quiet downtime this afternoon. To his credit, Jacob played nicely with Legos for a good couple hours! After a low-key dinner I headed out for some much-needed hedge trimming (yuck) and the boys played some baseball. I got a couple loads of laundry done, along with some dishes, plus I caught up on mail and newspapers. Not a bad list for the day. Finally. Of course, it's a good thing I got a lot done, because I'm flying solo this week. Craig is leaving tomorrow for a few days in Vegas for work, so it'll just be me and Jacob until Thursday evening. The good news is that I have a couple four-day work weeks in a row, bookending a four-day weekend. I'm taking off my birthday on Friday, then have Labor Day off on Monday. That will be nice, but I have a busy week to get through before that. But at least we had a fun weekend to start us out on a good note...
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Reunion Weekend
Last weekend we had two family reunions. We had one with my family on Saturday and another with Craig's family on Sunday. Both were in Buffalo, so for what seemed like the umpteenth weekend this summer, we were headed out of town. This time we actually stuck around on Friday night and enjoyed some ice cream, then slept in our own beds and moseyed out on Saturday after lunch. That was a nice change of pace, at least.
We enjoyed fantastic weather for both picnics. Jacob kept Craig busy wanting to play sports all the time. Jacob's tendency to wear numerous layers of clothing while playing sports was a novelty at both picnics. Thankfully, the good weather meant that the odds of him overheating were less than usual. No matter how much we try to convince him he doesn't need more than two, he just won't listen. Tonight he took off at least five shirts at bedtime. ::rolling eyes:: Anyway, the boys played a lot of sports and I had a little time to relax and catch up with family. I didn't bring out the camera nearly as much as I should have. I think sometimes it feels like every picture I have of Jacob is him playing sports, and how many of those can I actually take? Craig actually caught this picture on Saturday...
At the end of the day we had a random little treat--a free concert at the bandshell next to our shelter. The concert was Terry Buchwald, an Elvis impersonator. We stuck around long enough to see the beginning of the show, just to have the experience. He wasn't bad!
It was a busy weekend as usual, but at least I got a little downtime (sorry, Craig...you wanted a boy that loved sports!). We have another busy weekend coming up, but hopefully this one will have some fun and a little rest time, too. The yard is screaming for some sprucing up, so I guess that comes first. Summer is winding down so I know the craziness will only last a little bit longer before the schedule eases up and restful weekends become a little more frequent. Nice to know Craig will be home most of the time for the next few months, aside from an upcoming trip to Vegas for work (ugh, yeah, I know). Fall is coming, and while I'll regret it in a few weeks, for the first time I'm almost looking forward to it...
We enjoyed fantastic weather for both picnics. Jacob kept Craig busy wanting to play sports all the time. Jacob's tendency to wear numerous layers of clothing while playing sports was a novelty at both picnics. Thankfully, the good weather meant that the odds of him overheating were less than usual. No matter how much we try to convince him he doesn't need more than two, he just won't listen. Tonight he took off at least five shirts at bedtime. ::rolling eyes:: Anyway, the boys played a lot of sports and I had a little time to relax and catch up with family. I didn't bring out the camera nearly as much as I should have. I think sometimes it feels like every picture I have of Jacob is him playing sports, and how many of those can I actually take? Craig actually caught this picture on Saturday...
Sunday Jacob was excited to play with his cousins. So excited he played himself out in the morning (while Mommy and Daddy both periodically snoozed--I was just plain tired and Craig was sleeping off the results of a late evening out), and then fell asleep in the car on the way to the picnic--glove and hat in hand...
Here he is batting, while his cousin Luke plays catcher and Craig pitches. He can really hit a pitched ball (tee ball should be interesting next year, since he's getting used to pitches now), and he did the cutest run around the bases when he got a hit.
At the end of the day we had a random little treat--a free concert at the bandshell next to our shelter. The concert was Terry Buchwald, an Elvis impersonator. We stuck around long enough to see the beginning of the show, just to have the experience. He wasn't bad!
It was a busy weekend as usual, but at least I got a little downtime (sorry, Craig...you wanted a boy that loved sports!). We have another busy weekend coming up, but hopefully this one will have some fun and a little rest time, too. The yard is screaming for some sprucing up, so I guess that comes first. Summer is winding down so I know the craziness will only last a little bit longer before the schedule eases up and restful weekends become a little more frequent. Nice to know Craig will be home most of the time for the next few months, aside from an upcoming trip to Vegas for work (ugh, yeah, I know). Fall is coming, and while I'll regret it in a few weeks, for the first time I'm almost looking forward to it...
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Parenting is Hard. (Part 2)
The other big issue we've had with Jacob is the same old listening problem. Well, actually, it's more about what's going into his ears and coming out of his mouth. Not only is he not listening, but he's really getting quite the attitude when he speaks. I don't know if he's picking up something from how we talk sometimes (I hope not, but kids catch everything), or if it's all literally coming from daycare--either other kids, or maybe even a little attitude from the teachers. God knows I'd probably have an attitude once in a while if I had to listen to a dozen kids all day.
The problem is that we ask him to do something, and he cops an attitude. He says no, or says something about doing bodily harm to us if we force him to do something, or says something just generally potty-mouth-ish (generally about body parts or bodily functions). We punish him for being disobedient, he gets angrier, and it's a nasty, vicious circle. We're doing our best to be consistent and trying to focus on removing privileges rather than use any physical punishment--though I won't lie, a well-placed spanking sometimes gets the message across. But I don't think it does enough and don't want to set a physical example for him since he already hits and kicks a lot, so making a conscious effort to lay off it seems like a good idea.
So, we take away things. The other morning when Jacob refused to put on his sneakers, I took away a Lego guy in a car that was distracting him. He asked me to get it back the whole way to daycare, the whole way home, and all night. He's asked every day since. He still hasn't gotten it back. He put on another tantrum when we went to the grocery store that same day and he refused to get out of the car. He finally got out when a bee flew in, but not before he lost his stuffed animals for the night. I did compromise a little and let him have a select few for cooperating later on, but 95% of them were taken away. After he got over the initial shock of having them taken out in the middle of yet another tantrum, he did calm down, thoughtfully picked his few, and chilled out. Hmmm. He just isn't really understanding cause and effect, though. No matter how many times we try to tell him that he needs to do "a" in order to do "b" (or not do something in order to do keep a privilege), he still keeps thinking he can have it both ways.
Half the time when he talks, it's either nonsense or nastiness coming out of his mouth. Any request from us is immediately met with a "no". I'm trying to figure out some sort of consistent punishment for that--that for every "no" we get in a day, we keep track and he loses a couple stuffed animals at bedtime for each one. We might have to add into that incidences of potty talk or other unfriendly talk. He often tells me what a nasty mommy I am (because, of course, I'm just trying to get him to follow the rules). Admittedly, though, I have some less than ideal moments as well because his behavior really gets me angry. There just doesn't seem to be a way to get him to obey without physically forcing it, and it's insanely frustrating.
I think what kills me most in these moments of anger is that the sweet, little, perfect baby that I fawned over four years ago has the ability to make me so angry now. It scares me that he's gotten this nasty all of a sudden, and I'm not sure how to fix it and prevent it from getting even worse as he gets older. He's always been such a determined, head-strong kid, and this is no exception. I wish I could end this post with some sort of great solution, but so far there isn't one. We're trying to be consistent and take away privileges, but so far it's not enough. Stay tuned...
The problem is that we ask him to do something, and he cops an attitude. He says no, or says something about doing bodily harm to us if we force him to do something, or says something just generally potty-mouth-ish (generally about body parts or bodily functions). We punish him for being disobedient, he gets angrier, and it's a nasty, vicious circle. We're doing our best to be consistent and trying to focus on removing privileges rather than use any physical punishment--though I won't lie, a well-placed spanking sometimes gets the message across. But I don't think it does enough and don't want to set a physical example for him since he already hits and kicks a lot, so making a conscious effort to lay off it seems like a good idea.
So, we take away things. The other morning when Jacob refused to put on his sneakers, I took away a Lego guy in a car that was distracting him. He asked me to get it back the whole way to daycare, the whole way home, and all night. He's asked every day since. He still hasn't gotten it back. He put on another tantrum when we went to the grocery store that same day and he refused to get out of the car. He finally got out when a bee flew in, but not before he lost his stuffed animals for the night. I did compromise a little and let him have a select few for cooperating later on, but 95% of them were taken away. After he got over the initial shock of having them taken out in the middle of yet another tantrum, he did calm down, thoughtfully picked his few, and chilled out. Hmmm. He just isn't really understanding cause and effect, though. No matter how many times we try to tell him that he needs to do "a" in order to do "b" (or not do something in order to do keep a privilege), he still keeps thinking he can have it both ways.
Half the time when he talks, it's either nonsense or nastiness coming out of his mouth. Any request from us is immediately met with a "no". I'm trying to figure out some sort of consistent punishment for that--that for every "no" we get in a day, we keep track and he loses a couple stuffed animals at bedtime for each one. We might have to add into that incidences of potty talk or other unfriendly talk. He often tells me what a nasty mommy I am (because, of course, I'm just trying to get him to follow the rules). Admittedly, though, I have some less than ideal moments as well because his behavior really gets me angry. There just doesn't seem to be a way to get him to obey without physically forcing it, and it's insanely frustrating.
I think what kills me most in these moments of anger is that the sweet, little, perfect baby that I fawned over four years ago has the ability to make me so angry now. It scares me that he's gotten this nasty all of a sudden, and I'm not sure how to fix it and prevent it from getting even worse as he gets older. He's always been such a determined, head-strong kid, and this is no exception. I wish I could end this post with some sort of great solution, but so far there isn't one. We're trying to be consistent and take away privileges, but so far it's not enough. Stay tuned...
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Parenting is Hard. (Part 1)
Yes, Captain Obvious wrote that blog title, but you know, it can't really be said enough. For every fantastic, warm-fuzzy moment of parenting, there are inevitably at least three more moments where you're just left stymied by frustration, anger, or flat-out shock that your kid just _(fill in the blank)_. Somehow that one warm-fuzzy tends to push us through the not-so-great moments, but you know, some days it just doesn't feel like enough.
Just this week we've had two issues with Jacob that we've tried to solve, and the results have been decidedly mixed. Closer to not good, probably, but there are moments where I win (sort of) and I feel like maybe someday it'll all sink in for real and Jacob will turn into a fantastic kid. In the meantime, he's a challenge.
One of the issues I looked into this week was doing something about Jacob's night time potty training. He's nearly perfect during the day. It's rare for him to have an accident, and when he does, it's usually during naptime. But that maybe happens once every few weeks, and almost always at daycare (probably after seconds on lunchtime milk) or when he's out of his normal routine. But overnight? Ugh. When we went to the doctor back in June, she said it's normal for kids to not have nighttime bladder control until the age of six! Obviously most do by then, but it's not officially considered a "problem" until then. I don't really like that answer because I really wanted to be done buying diapers before we have another baby to buy for, and it doesn't look like we'll be off the hook for a while. He's not even close. I can count dry nights on one hand. And while it doesn't really seem to bother him right now, the sleepover era is probably just around the corner. But if I've learned anything with Jacob over the past 4+ years, it's that he does things in his own way, at his own speed.
We bought a potty a little before Jacob turned two, but we didn't see much success until at least few months later. Still, I wouldn't say he was fully potty trained until about 3-1/2, or maybe a little before. So that whole time in between was a lot of very slow progress. I don't know if boot camp would have worked with him because he's so stubborn and until he's mentally (and physically) ready for something, there's just no sense pushing hard. Pushing a little is good, I think, because sometimes kids need the reminder and you don't want them getting too set in their ways, but past a certain point it becomes a power struggle and it's useless.
Something that bugged me earlier this week is that Jacob woke up one morning and was hanging out quietly in his room, then suddenly said he wet the bed (or, in his case, the blankets and the floor). What ticked me off about that is that there are times when it seems like he's just lazy about things and decides to pee in the pull-up instead of getting out of bed and going to the bathroom. It's happened right at bedtime, too. I don't know for sure when he pees overnight (more on that in a minute) but if he waits until the morning and is just too lazy, that is not okay.
We stuck with diapers for a long time because, quite frankly, they're cheaper. However, he was peeing out of them a lot and they're not ideal for when he decides he has to pee 10 minutes after bedtime. So a month or two ago we officially switched over to nighttime-strength pull-ups. Admittedly, at this point I think it's worth the money because they work better and are much easier to wrangle. I have to spend about $8-10 every three weeks. Not bad. But earlier this week we ran out and I didn't have a chance to get more. I did have some free samples of the bigger kid version of pull-ups (Good Nights, I think?), and I'll admit that the thought of having a kid on the larger end of that size range wearing a glorified diaper made me cringe a bit. Four is bad enough, let alone school-age. Anyway...I decided to try something new, since the sample was a little bigger. I let Jacob wear underwear underneath. I figured maybe he'd feel the wetness better and respond quicker, and perhaps we'd get a clue as to when he has to pee. The first night he woke up at 6:30am complaining he was wet. I have no idea if that was just when he noticed it or if that was the first time he peed. The second night he didn't wake up at all, and I was hopeful when I went to wake him up...until I realized when we headed to the bathroom that his undies were soaked. It apparently didn't even phase him. Seriously?! How am I supposed to train a kid who's not bothered by wet cotton against his skin, since that's what usually motivates a lot of other kids?
I gave up last night and went back to straight pull-ups, but now I'm left with a dilemma. Is he really unable to hold it and there's no sense pushing it? Is he able to hold it but the pull-ups are encouraging laziness? Do I risk putting him in undies and spending half the night cleaning up messes? I have no idea. He's a deep sleeper, which doesn't help, and the fact that he sleeps on the floor seems to complicate things. I feel like it's almost better to try things and hope something will work, rather than just keep the status quo, but then again I don't want to damage his self-esteem if he's really, truly, not physically able.
I just don't know.
More on our other issue of the week coming up soon...
Just this week we've had two issues with Jacob that we've tried to solve, and the results have been decidedly mixed. Closer to not good, probably, but there are moments where I win (sort of) and I feel like maybe someday it'll all sink in for real and Jacob will turn into a fantastic kid. In the meantime, he's a challenge.
One of the issues I looked into this week was doing something about Jacob's night time potty training. He's nearly perfect during the day. It's rare for him to have an accident, and when he does, it's usually during naptime. But that maybe happens once every few weeks, and almost always at daycare (probably after seconds on lunchtime milk) or when he's out of his normal routine. But overnight? Ugh. When we went to the doctor back in June, she said it's normal for kids to not have nighttime bladder control until the age of six! Obviously most do by then, but it's not officially considered a "problem" until then. I don't really like that answer because I really wanted to be done buying diapers before we have another baby to buy for, and it doesn't look like we'll be off the hook for a while. He's not even close. I can count dry nights on one hand. And while it doesn't really seem to bother him right now, the sleepover era is probably just around the corner. But if I've learned anything with Jacob over the past 4+ years, it's that he does things in his own way, at his own speed.
We bought a potty a little before Jacob turned two, but we didn't see much success until at least few months later. Still, I wouldn't say he was fully potty trained until about 3-1/2, or maybe a little before. So that whole time in between was a lot of very slow progress. I don't know if boot camp would have worked with him because he's so stubborn and until he's mentally (and physically) ready for something, there's just no sense pushing hard. Pushing a little is good, I think, because sometimes kids need the reminder and you don't want them getting too set in their ways, but past a certain point it becomes a power struggle and it's useless.
Something that bugged me earlier this week is that Jacob woke up one morning and was hanging out quietly in his room, then suddenly said he wet the bed (or, in his case, the blankets and the floor). What ticked me off about that is that there are times when it seems like he's just lazy about things and decides to pee in the pull-up instead of getting out of bed and going to the bathroom. It's happened right at bedtime, too. I don't know for sure when he pees overnight (more on that in a minute) but if he waits until the morning and is just too lazy, that is not okay.
We stuck with diapers for a long time because, quite frankly, they're cheaper. However, he was peeing out of them a lot and they're not ideal for when he decides he has to pee 10 minutes after bedtime. So a month or two ago we officially switched over to nighttime-strength pull-ups. Admittedly, at this point I think it's worth the money because they work better and are much easier to wrangle. I have to spend about $8-10 every three weeks. Not bad. But earlier this week we ran out and I didn't have a chance to get more. I did have some free samples of the bigger kid version of pull-ups (Good Nights, I think?), and I'll admit that the thought of having a kid on the larger end of that size range wearing a glorified diaper made me cringe a bit. Four is bad enough, let alone school-age. Anyway...I decided to try something new, since the sample was a little bigger. I let Jacob wear underwear underneath. I figured maybe he'd feel the wetness better and respond quicker, and perhaps we'd get a clue as to when he has to pee. The first night he woke up at 6:30am complaining he was wet. I have no idea if that was just when he noticed it or if that was the first time he peed. The second night he didn't wake up at all, and I was hopeful when I went to wake him up...until I realized when we headed to the bathroom that his undies were soaked. It apparently didn't even phase him. Seriously?! How am I supposed to train a kid who's not bothered by wet cotton against his skin, since that's what usually motivates a lot of other kids?
I gave up last night and went back to straight pull-ups, but now I'm left with a dilemma. Is he really unable to hold it and there's no sense pushing it? Is he able to hold it but the pull-ups are encouraging laziness? Do I risk putting him in undies and spending half the night cleaning up messes? I have no idea. He's a deep sleeper, which doesn't help, and the fact that he sleeps on the floor seems to complicate things. I feel like it's almost better to try things and hope something will work, rather than just keep the status quo, but then again I don't want to damage his self-esteem if he's really, truly, not physically able.
I just don't know.
More on our other issue of the week coming up soon...
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
One of those moments...
So last night while we were getting ready for bed, Jacob started yammering on about wanting to snuggle with me. Usually he likes nothing more than snuggling with Daddy. Those boys will make up any excuse to have a "slumber party". It's not that I don't like snuggling with Jacob--in theory, I would--but he kicks and flails and flips so it's hard to sleep anywhere near him. Craig sleeps deeper than I do, so he often takes one for the team when the opportunity arises because he gets at least some sleep, whereas I get none. But someday, if Jacob ever flails less, I'd love to catch a weekend nap on the couch with him. Anyway, as much as he enjoys snoozing with Daddy, lately he's been talking about sleeping with me (and yes, I cringe a bit when he uses that phrasing, but he's obviously talking innocently here so I'm not going to overthink it). I keep telling him that when he's older and he doesn't kick me in his sleep, we can snuggle like he does with Daddy.
Once he got through saying that, he referred to himself as my boyfriend, and yes...the moment every mom waits for...he said he wanted to marry me. Awwww. I tried to explain to him that I can't marry him because I was already married to Daddy, but he saw nothing wrong with me having two boyfriends. Hmmm. We'll have to work on that. But it was a sweet sentiment nonetheless.
It's one of those moments that every mom talks about, but to be honest I don't think I ever thought I'd hear it from Jacob. He's just not mushy like that. Getting an "I love you" from him is almost impossible, no matter how many times a day we tell him that we love him. Getting real hugs from him is sometimes a challenge as he often doesn't stand still long enough, but in the past few days it seems like he's been a little more loving. In the midst of the marriage conversation he was giving me the best hugs ever, and he's been more willing to snuggle here and there. Maybe he's turning over a new leaf...
...Or maybe not, since five minutes later he was telling me he didn't like me because I had to raise my voice and tell him for the 20th time to get out of his soccer clothes and get into his pajamas. He did take it back when I called him on it and reminded him that he wanted to marry me a couple minutes earlier, but he probably just wanted his bedtime stories. But at least for one split second he liked me...he really liked me!
Once he got through saying that, he referred to himself as my boyfriend, and yes...the moment every mom waits for...he said he wanted to marry me. Awwww. I tried to explain to him that I can't marry him because I was already married to Daddy, but he saw nothing wrong with me having two boyfriends. Hmmm. We'll have to work on that. But it was a sweet sentiment nonetheless.
It's one of those moments that every mom talks about, but to be honest I don't think I ever thought I'd hear it from Jacob. He's just not mushy like that. Getting an "I love you" from him is almost impossible, no matter how many times a day we tell him that we love him. Getting real hugs from him is sometimes a challenge as he often doesn't stand still long enough, but in the past few days it seems like he's been a little more loving. In the midst of the marriage conversation he was giving me the best hugs ever, and he's been more willing to snuggle here and there. Maybe he's turning over a new leaf...
...Or maybe not, since five minutes later he was telling me he didn't like me because I had to raise my voice and tell him for the 20th time to get out of his soccer clothes and get into his pajamas. He did take it back when I called him on it and reminded him that he wanted to marry me a couple minutes earlier, but he probably just wanted his bedtime stories. But at least for one split second he liked me...he really liked me!
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