Trying...and Failing

I've been trying for weeks now to figure out how to finish off our summer on a high note, and...it wasn't working.  I'll get more into that in a minute, but at least I got Carter to Seabreeze.  I decided last week to just take a random Thursday off because the weather would be nice, my work was in a holding pattern, and I just needed a day.  We had gotten two free tickets to Seabreeze through Jacob's brain study, and he was uninterested, so Carter and I needed to go.  I hadn't gone with Carter since 2018, and he was still too short back then for the Jack Rabbit or the toilet bowl water slide.  He's been back a couple times himself through camp or school, but for whatever reason it never worked out for him to go during either of those things.  It was time!

We were getting ready to go later that morning and I discovered that our tub drain was blocked.  Our sink had been running slow and I put some Drano down it that morning and grabbed our little drain hook that pulls out hair and gunk.  I got a good hunk and thought I finally got it cleared, so I moved on to the tub, which had periodically been running slow but seemed to right itself mid-shower most of the time.  I cleared a whole bunch of hair out of the drain apparatus and used the hook tool, but then I realized it was not draining at all.  Weird.  I hoped that when someone used the shower it would clear itself again, but after Craig left that morning I went back up and found a few inches of standing water.  That has never happened to me before.  I tried to use a sink plunger that sounded like it was working but didn't, and finally gave up and ran to Wegmans.  I got two bottles of Drano and a much-needed giant pack of tissues (Jacob had used all of ours thanks to another random virus thing).  Luckily, once I got home I realized the tub had cleared while I was gone, but I still dumped Drano down to be safe.  I don't know if the sink clog just moved down the line or what.  The sink can still be slow-ish, so I have no idea what's happening, but it's better.  And we now own a Tub Shroom for an extra layer of protection.

Off to Seabreeze we went.  We parked by the water park and headed in.  We looked around and decided it was time to conquer the Jack Rabbit!  As we walked past the Screaming Eagle, Carter saw our neighbor, who's a year younger than him.  Ten seconds later we walked by my co-worker's son, who's Jacob's age and was there with his soccer team.  Small world!  The Jack Rabbit line was very doable and of course Carter enjoyed it.  It's definitely not as exciting as what he's used to riding now, but it's still a fun one!  He passed 48 inches a while ago, but we still felt the picture was appropriate!

Next up we tried the newest ride, Windstarz.  It replaced the ride that had the rudders you could move like a sail to adjust your flying position.  This is similar in that you move a bar back and forth to sail higher or lower.

Waiting to ride!

It was fun--sort of like the kiddie airplane ride for adults, but a little jerkier so a bit more exciting!  

We wandered over to the other end of the main midway and hopped on the Music Express, which is always a good time.  He only squished me once!

Next up was the Bobsleds.  That might have been our longest ride wait of the day, maybe 20 minutes.  It's still such a cute little ride and I love it.  We were bummed we ended up in the Italy car instead of the USA or Jamaica car (I think they used to have Norway but it wasn't there), but it was a good ride.

We did a quick ride on Whirlwind, the spinning coaster, which was a lot of fun--it really sends you flying around!  Then we decided it was time for some lunch, so we settled on walking tacos, which were really good.  We had good meal time entertainment watching the midway games in action.  That balloon dart game is apparently a tough one!  We were just about ready for the water park, but before that was the log flume.  I've shared my general dislike of flumes here before.  This one just has a couple very small drops, almost like little dips into rapids, and then one big one.  But the big one is a pretty wet one!  I sat in the back and got a solidly wet shirt.  Nothing like the big ones, of course, but quite damp!  But it's a fun hill.  I just had to hope our waterpark locker baked it dry!
 

It was the perfect day for the water park.  It was hot but not too hot.  We started with Carter playing in the water gun area, and then we waited for the slide on the left in the picture below, which was new since my last visit.  It's a fun sit down slide--kid-friendly but exciting enough for adults.  Then it was time to brave the toilet bowl line.  It was long, almost all the way down the stairs, but it actually went quickly.  Based on a sign in the line I thought we'd be about a half hour but I think it was less.  I guess we had a good view throughout so it went fast enough, but it's the best slide there so it was worth it.  The initial slide down (also in the picture below) is so fast, and we had a blast in the bowl.  And of course, we went down backward into the pool!

We moved on to the two tube slides--one enclosed tube that we rode singly, and one swishy open slide we rode together.  Both of those were fast and fun.  After that was the racing slide.  This one might be my least favorite because it splashes you in the face in the tube too, not just as you're coming down the final slope and into the end channels.  You can see all three of those below.

Then it was on to the lazy river.  We always struggle to stay together in those, especially since I avoid most obstacles and Carter goes toward them, and then he just seems to move faster once we get past them.  After that it was on to the wave pool, which was in full wave mode when we got there.  We waded out about up to our waists and let the waves hit us, and I'm telling you, some of them were rough!  The last wave was especially giant and it totally knocked me right over!  I prefer wave pools with a tube, for sure!  

With that we wrapped up and headed back to change and do more rides.  Carter wanted to ride the teacups.  I can't spin so we went separately!  Ironically, he didn't want to go on the hot air balloons, which are the same ride but up in the air, because he said he spun too much last time he was there.  But he spun this one like a madman!  Go figure.  If I'm not spinning I actually like those better because you get a good view!

We rode the viking ship quickly, then grabbed another ride on the Whirlwind, this time in the backward seat.  It's definitely a different ride depending on whether you're in the front or the back--not just the lift hill (which is different) but also how and when you get swung around.  It was an intense ride.  I think the front ride was more enjoyable for me, but the back ride was crazier!

I debated long and hard about the Revolution 360.  Carter had never been on one, but the last time I did one--Fantasy Island in 2015--I got a bit motion sick.  But that was also in my ride lull period where I wasn't riding much and my brain might have been out of practice, so I was tempted to give it a shot.  I figured by that point in the day we'd ridding almost everything, so it was worth a try.  I regretted it for a moment once we were on, but in the end it wasn't bad.  It's a weird sensation, but it's also like a big swing and gives you some nice views.  By the end I was about ready for it to be over before I moved into icky territory, but I did pretty well and of course Carter liked it a lot!  I'm not sure if that means I'll try the one at Cedar Point that's a similar concept but does waves instead of the half pipe, since the constant up and down while spinning could be more intense, but it's food for thought.  I was proud of myself.  

We went back to ride the Screaming Eagle, which probably wasn't my best move right after the Revolution.  I really felt that one but I managed.  The hanging upside-down and backward swing was not my favorite.  After that we grabbed one more Jack Rabbit ride.  Carter really wanted to get fried dough before we left, so we headed over to the fried dough stand to scope things out.  I wasn't sure I wanted to battle a giant fried dough and messy sugar, and as much as I love those amusement park waffles I wasn't sure I was up for one of those either, so we took a chance and got the funnel cake fries.  They're like a funnel cake but in individual fry form.  We got a big bag and sat down on a bench to carefully eat them without dousing ourselves in sugar.  They were SO good.  They were just the perfect mix of crispy and pillowy.  We did a pretty good job but still had leftovers. 

We grabbed our wet clothes from the locker and headed out.  Carter decided he wanted to stop at the playground across the street, one of our favorites.  It's the one where we first went on one of the spinning swing things with three disc seats, and it has a cute nautical theme.  I was still feeling the effects of the Screaming Eagle, just a light headache and wanting to sit for a bit, but luckily some kid recruited Carter in a chase, so he was occupied for a while.  I helped him on the spinner to give him a few good swings, and eventually we headed out.  He really wanted to go to Abbott's across the way, so we topped off our funnel cake fries with ice cream!  I got a root beer float, and he got this crazy chocolate covered cookie sandwich!

It was such a nice night to sit out.  Of course, he decided he was still hungry on the way home so I grabbed him some KFC and just got myself a single chicken taco from Taco Bell to get something of substance in my stomach, too.  But what a fun day we had!

In other news, we've been back in high-level wildfire smoke so we've had some interesting skies lately.  I managed to capture three good sunsets in less than a week from the same mile of road. I caught the first one on a walk on Sunday.

Then I took a bike ride on Tuesday night and the sun was so red the entire time it was setting.  The phone camera never captures it right, but it was stunning.  I stopped in front of McDonald's up the road from where I was the last time to get this shot.

Then Thursday night on our way home the sun was amazing again, this time with clouds, so I took the long way home from Taco Bell to grab this one.

I had a couple rough days at the end of the week, still struggling with the kids' various ailments.  Something the dental hygienist said to me when I went on Thursday morning got me worried again about Carter's mouth, and Jacob was still having weird stuff happening.  I took him to the doctor on Wednesday because he was still feeling weird and was having neck pain in addition to all the weird viral symptoms he'd been having.  It was just time to go and get some peace of mind, and sure enough, the doctor said exactly what I said she would--it's probably a virus and if everything stuck around for another week or so, then maybe go back.  Of course, then he swore he was having some abdominal pain and a slight burning with urination, so he ended up back there over the weekend to get that checked too.  Negative, though.  We did get some good news that week because he finally had his cardiologist appointment.  They actually said that our pediatrician messed up a bit because the high blood pressure thing goes more through the kidney doctor (?) but his blood pressure was normal, as was the EKG and a cardiac ultrasound.  So, things seem to have eased up, whatever it was.  If we notice it creep up again, we can get a referral to nephrology, but for now at least that is fine.  And that gives me extra piece of mind that he's not at risk for any sudden cardiac events like you hear about teenagers having sometimes.  Now if all the other symptoms would disappear, that would be great.  I still think some of it is stress, but I don't think stress produces a swollen lymph node, so who knows.  It's just been a terrible run.  And I was just in the depths of it most of the weekend, worried about both kids and just confronting the fact that I'm exhausted and anxious and probably need to get help with that.  And if God forbid something is really wrong with one or both kids, I am totally screwed.  I have seen more than I'd like to of what cancer parents and chronic illness parents go through, and it absolutely terrifies me.  I just got caught in that muck for a few days (it took me days to come out of the worst of it but at least I'm just poking my head out and trying to be functional), so that wasn't my best weekend.

So, imagine the moment I walked out of Dollar Tree that Sunday after a quick burst of errands to see this:
    

 

It was so vivid.  We'd had wacky weather for a number of days at that point.  Fluctuating rain and sun, downpours, and then days of abnormally cool weather after it all, but this was quite the sight that evening.  It was so pretty and while I wanted it to be reassuring, I'm at a point where it felt a bit juvenile or something to consider it a sign that everything is going to be okay.  Rather, I probably should be seeing it as a reminder that God's always there even when I am struggling mightily and even if everything is going terribly wrong.  It was amazing to see, though.

My gardens are pretty much going to crap right on schedule--or maybe a bit early--but I have had a couple winners.  This new flower just popped out of my one random pot the other day and I just find it so lovely.

This pot is oddly thriving despite being swamped for days at a time half the summer.  The coleus and the celosia match better than I even planned!

My front planter is thriving, almost out of control.  My front zinnias are mostly pink and have been getting destroyed by birds (?) looking for seeds, but the little pot on the porch table has kicked out an orange and a yellow.  This one has been delighting me the last few days as it continues to kick out petals.

My garden seems to be dying off rapidly from fungus.  I had a zucchini growing, but I left it to grow bigger only to discover that the plant must be dying off and the zucchini was half rotted.  Darn it.  I did make a nice hibachi-style stir fry for myself out of the good half.  Cukes have slowed down, too, and my tomatoes are crap.  Hardly any this year.  Guessing it's the constant heat?  Boo.  So, with the gardens going to crap, it feels like just about that time for vacation, just like the last three years when we've gone around now and come back to just complete garden chaos or sudden death.  But I wasn't sure vacation was going to happen this time, despite our best efforts for a last-minute push.  We just seemed to keep running into issues.  I wanted to get Carter to Cedar Point during the last week of summer, even though Top Thrill 2 officially isn't reopening this summer, but that was also pretty much our only chance for family vacation because we had to work around my work retreat and a middle school parent meeting one Wednesday, middle school orientation the next, and Carter's dentist appointment (which feels important to keep on schedule given the mouth issues) a couple days later.  But we kept talking about options, finding only expensive hotel options, and sort of giving up for a bit.  And then there was a high school basketball complication--Jacob needing to make gym time in order to play fall ball--that made it seem almost impossible.  But while I was at my retreat on Wednesday, in between doing this amazing virtual reality experience and listening to a huge donor answer our questions, Craig texted me to say they wanted to get the vacation in.  So we started planning just a day ahead of leaving...but true to form this summer, that's not even close to the end of the drama of this story!  But that's plenty for another post, so stay tuned!

Lost Summer

The other day Jacob said something to me and it gave me pause.  He said that this whole summer has basically been a loss for him, and you know what?  He's not wrong.  It's pretty much been a mess for all of us, to be honest.  We've been in a weird haze of medical challenges and mysteries that pretty much started in mid-June, and suddenly it's two months later and we're about three weeks away from school starting and haven't come out of it yet.  That sucks.  Seriously.

I've talked about most of the stuff here, but as a quick refresher--we had Jacob's high blood pressure and (supposed) reflux and Carter's mouth infection issue before we left for the Dominican, and since then it's been Jacob's ongoing shin issues, then stomach problems/glutening, then the concussion, and now an assortment of odd symptoms that had Jacob in a complete panic since late last week.  Jacob has pretty serious medical anxiety at this point, and I can't say I blame him.  For me, I can look back at the thousands of times I was convinced something was wrong with me, and probably only a tiny percentage have actually been something.  So most of the time I can convince myself that any odd symptom is probably nothing because most of them have always been nothing.  Of course, I know that means that someday my luck will run out, so there's always that bit of fear, but most of the time I can slowly but surely pull myself out of the initial panic and convince myself it's probably fine unless another concerning thing pops up.  But for Jacob, so many of his things have been something--an irregular mole on his leg, Celiac Disease, a bone cyst, low iron and vitamin D levels, a sprained ankle that was actually a broken bone in his leg, lots of other ankle sprains, a few mild concussions, shin splints, and so on.  The last 18 months or so has been a complete dumpster fire for him as far as his body goes.  He has an autoimmune disease so I suppose it's not entirely surprising, but it's frustrating.  He's convinced his body will never cooperate.  And honestly, I can't tell him it will because I just don't know either.  It's been a horrible run of bad luck, for sure.

This week's entry is likely some sort of mystery virus that he had convinced himself was lymphoma.  He had a swollen lymph node in his neck, and he was a bit fatigued and his stomach was a bit off, but no fever.  He was picking up random symptoms as the days went on--itchy skin, a sore back, fuzzy head, night sweats and chills.  I told him that more than likely those were pretty much how a generic virus would go, and the swollen lymph node was probably a sign he was fighting it off just enough that it wasn't taking over completely.  But of course all of those things matched up with lymphoma symptoms so he was panicked.  I talked to him for about 45 minutes on the way back from a concert on Friday night (plus a few minutes while I was there) trying to talk him down, but he would not be dissuaded.  I even reminded him on Saturday that when he got bloodwork done in June, everything was pretty much perfect.  There was only one thing that was slightly off, but that could have been caused by dehydration, so I think that's a much more plausible cause of that than anything else.  I highly doubt everything would have looked that good if he had something brewing, or that it would have progressed that fast.  I could be wrong, but for now I'll choose to not go there.

It's hard to explain to someone who has health anxiety that you really just have to choose to block it out, at least for a period of time.  You shouldn't Google, for sure, and you have to try to almost bargain with yourself to push it off for a few days to see if anything changes before you resume panic.  In his case, he was begging to go to the doctor, but any trip to the doctor would likely be a "probably a virus but give it a week and let us know if it's worse" situation, so there was nothing to do but wait and see if anything changed.  There wasn't a lot that would be "testable" so I really think they'd just make us wait.  We've been through so many doctors this year and he's so annoyed with his pediatrician, and I feel like one more oddball visit is going to hit some sort of threshold where they start taking us less seriously and chalk it up to him being a hypochondriac.  So, lacking an easy route to check things, you have to actively choose to let those worries go or try to convince yourself it's something less vicious, at least until it becomes clearer one way or another.  Otherwise you will drive yourself crazy and probably make yourself sicker with stress hormones.

I also couldn't really tell him at the time that I was having similar anxiety issues in regard to Carter over the prior week.  After my last post, all my worries got the best of me for a night.  Like, really bad.  But I've been watching him closely and I think the swelling is definitely down.  It's not gone but I know it was SO noticeable for a while and it's much harder to see now.  So I think that put my initial oral cancer fears to rest for now, though they riled up a bit again when I saw a story about a local baby who had a mouth abscess that wouldn't heal and turned out to be a metastasized tumor from adrenal cancer.  That was not what I needed to see.  But anyway, Carter's mouth is still trying to crack despite using Aquaphor twice daily, so I put him back on the antibiotic cream to see if it helped, and if I think it does, I will probably check back in with one or both doctors and see if that's a sign that the bacteria is still there and see if we should try the Cipro after all.  If it doesn't help, I'll probably try the steroid cream again, and if that works, then I think we have to push for the Celiac test because that's a big possibility as to why that sore would persist.  I will say Carter has been doing a great job trying to gain weight--he's up a couple pounds right now, which is encouraging.  It's still overall a nagging worry thing for me, but I just needed that swelling to go down enough to remind me that if it's getting better in any way--since really bad things generally don't do that--then maybe it's something more manageable.

So, knowing how I've had to manage my anxiety, I've had to encourage Jacob to just give himself the ability to find and believe the lesser things to try to get himself off that constant stream of worry.  Is there a chance it's something more?  Sure.  But more than likely there's a much simpler explanation.  I think we were a little perplexed because he hasn't really gone anywhere lately (because he's been laying lower because of the concussion) where he'd be likely to catch something.  But then he realized that last week when he went to a gym to get some shots up, he had a hangnail or something on his fingertip and he bit it to fix it.  That gave him a very simple explanation of where the virus might have come from, and I think that helped.  The fatigue got a little better Sunday, which helped more.  He was still trying to put a name to it (mono was among the suggestions, but I don't think he was bad enough for that), but I said that there are a lot of random viruses that are just generic things with no known name.  And I really think this is something like that.  We'll have to wait for the lymph node to go down to feel significantly better about it, but progress is good.  I also think that the lack of activity, the boredom, and the general cycle of worry and whatever else is just throwing his body off.  I just know when I'm tired or sick or lazy, I just feel worse and worse if I wallow in it, and I think he had the perfect storm for that too, on top of whatever his body is fighting off.

But regardless, he's right that it has been a lost summer because we (and mostly HE) just went from one thing to another to another, and we've been stuck in this holding pattern waiting for everything to be okay.  And now here we are almost through summer and we're still waiting.  It makes me so sad to think about, honestly.

We're still not going on vacation, and our window is getting smaller and smaller.  We pretty much have two extra long weekends to work with at this point, I think.  I'm still planning on taking Carter to Cedar Point in a couple weeks, but I'm not sure it's entirely worth it because the coaster we were specifically going back for is still not open, but I know he has his heart set on going.  I will gladly ride all of the rides again, of course, but it seems like a lot of driving to repeat last year's trip and not have that one new thing--although hopefully it'll rewrite some of the memories ruined by the COVID mess that followed last year's trip.  I really would love to tack some stuff on to that trip so we could all go together (the big boys could just drop us off for a day or two and do other stuff like we did in Erie), but I doubt they'll get on board with that.  We need to decide fast regardless.  We have done some fun things this summer, but admittedly, my perspective is going to be different because I was in the Dominican already and they weren't.  For the record, I still have Dominican pictures as my phone's home and lock screens but I sometimes have to remind myself I was actually there and it really happened.  Sometimes it seems surreal.  I think the violent jolt back to reality--right back to the ongoing health issues, the end of the school year, the whirlwind trip to Pittsburgh, and the subsequent COVID quarantine--makes it all seem like an alternate reality or something.  So much build-up, a very quick dream-come-true, and a crash landing back at home--it was such a blur that it's easy to forget it happened.

So anyway, Craig and I had that adventure, but the boys' only excitement this summer was pretty much just Pittsburgh x2, and maybe the Blue Jays game back in April if  you want to count that.  Not insignificant, of course, but not enough if I'm sticking to the "live life to the fullest" mantra I picked up after COVID, given the lackluster summer prior and the travel challenges that followed.  Ugh.  I do love doing stuff as a family, so I would love to do something (almost anything!), but with time short and cost being a factor as well, it's just hard.  Every time I ask I get a bunch of half-hopeful/half-sarcastic responses like Disney, Disneyland, Key West (because Old Key West at Disney is not an option), or any number of options that involve passports, which the boys don't have.  And when I mention more reasonable options, I get some rolled eyes or yet another attempt at convincing me we need a puppy instead (yes, that campaign is still going strong...but so am I).  So I'm not sure what we do at this point.  I'd be happy with almost anything that gets us away and doing something, instead of yet another week of the boys sitting around and arguing and alternating between baseball outside and screens inside.  At least they're doing a lot of it together, but still.  I want them to have some additional fun memories from this summer because it's been a rough one, and downshifting from Disney two straight years is tough enough on its own.

And in case you're wondering, even *I* am struggling to downshift from Disney.  I still have a lot of Disney in my feed, and knowing that a year ago we were gearing up for another trip, it's making me a little sad.  I hold firm in my feeling that we should not go again this year, but I'm still a little bummed about it.  It is magical despite the work and the expense and all the things that annoy me.  When someone posts a dreamy balcony photo on the Old Key West page, or I see a new photo spot I'd like to take a picture of myself, or think about wanting to ride certain rides or see things before a bunch of changes take place at the parks, I get a bit wistful for how much fun we had the last two years.  As we know, time heals a lot of things so I'm glossing over all of the things that made me crazy, but it's making this August a bit more bittersweet.  Of course, a hurricane brushed Orlando again last week (similar to how it did when we were there last year), and I found myself grateful we didn't have that to worry about this time around.  But yeah, I admit it, I miss it.  I do think that a different trip could capture some of the same emotions, though.  Our last two family vacations were both there, so is my affection actually with Disney or with the time away together in general?  I had a lot of fun when we went to the Jersey Shore, too (despite the hiccups), so it's entirely possible I'm just longing for family togetherness and a change of scenery more than anything else.  I'd like to redeem this dumpster fire of a summer and finish it off positively, but how?  I guess that will be answered soon, one way or another.

Other than the stress regarding Jacob's mystery illness, it was an okay week and a pleasant weekend.  Craig was gone most of the week for the college lacrosse championships.  At least it was only Utica and not California like it was for years.  Other than being the sole target of Jacob's complaints and obsessions, it wasn't too bad.  It's a far cry from flying solo when the kids were little.  On the bright side, Craig's team finally won!  Rochester teams had made the finals quite a bit but always seemed to lose to this one team, and they finally beat them!  Seeing videos of Craig run out in victory and raise the cup were pretty fun!

The highlight of my week was that I got to meet up with Mary on Friday night for another NEEDTOBREATHE concert.  Our last one was almost a year ago at the Erie County Fair, so it was nice to get another one so soon, this time at the Del Lago Casino in Waterloo, NY, which was a nice mid-point for both of us.  Of course, that hurricane that I mentioned that passed by Disney last week had made its way up here by Friday, and we were a little worried that the whole thing might be a washout.  I was less scared than if it would have been snow, but it was a lot of rain in some places.  I think we got less than we were supposed to, but east of us got it pretty good.  Fortunately it stopped raining for the most part by the time we each had to leave.  I hit a couple quick downpours en route and there were some pretty fantastic clouds along the way, but it was an easy drive.  

We had a really nice dinner in the casino food court and caught up for more than an hour and a half ahead of the show.  It's funny being in this phase of life, talking about body parts breaking and retirement only being about eight years away (for her) and college friends' kids going off to college themselves.  We've been working more than half our lives now.  It still doesn't seem like that long ago that we met, but in 10 days it will be 28 years.  I have no idea how that's possible.  While that still pales in comparison to my oldest friendship (41 years with Heather), it hits a bit differently.  For so long she was a new friend, and now...she's an old one.  I remember feeling surprised at how deep a four-year friendship could be, even just after those first few months--I went my whole life without this person and now I can't imagine it without her.  We may not be as close as we once were, but in a phase of life where most older friendships have faded as life takes over, to have one that in-between phase of life (joined the party late, but also came before this current phase) that still feels like "home" every time you get together is pretty special.  My parents have a couple they knew from college that they're still close friends with 54 years later, so I guess that's #goals right there.

The show was great as always.  They are so amazing live and this show was fun because they weren't really promoting a specific album and could play whatever they wanted.  I never thought I'd like a skeleton set decoration, but this color changing one was pretty fun.

They had lots of fun lights everywhere--old school style marquee type bulbs and all sorts of colors.  It put on a nice show, as if the singing wasn't good enough.  I always like this song live because it captures the fun of their shows.  It's called "Great Night".

The lead singer Bear has been coming out into the crowd in the last couple shows.  Last year Mary got to high five him, but this year we weren't quite as close to the walkway.  He pretty much got trapped out there the entire song, though.  Good man.

Another skeleton color scheme...

Each song of their shows is so good that I always feel like it's a finale.  And eventually one of them is, although they're pretty good about doing a song or two for an encore.  But I'm always sad when they wrap it up, especially when they don't play my favorite song...but they're so good I'll let it pass.

As I mentioned, I spent most of my drive home talking to Jacob about his ailments, but at least it kept me awake.  I got home around 11pm, which wasn't bad, although still wasn't ideal since the boys were home alone all evening.  I pretty much made sure they had dinner food they could prepare when they were ready, and took off as soon as I could after work.  Jacob did call me for instructions but otherwise they were pretty self-sufficient other than still being up when I got home, but I expected that.

Saturday was my cousin Lori's 40th birthday party.  It's pretty crazy since she's the first cousin I remember being born and she was still in college when we got married and she was one of my bridesmaids.  Time flies!  I had to get up early that morning to go to Wegmans and get things to make food for the party and then get ready while it cooked, and we were still a little later than I wanted to be.  But it was nice to see a bunch of my family and hang out on a beautiful day.  We did play a couple games of corn hole with my mom, and Jacob and I won both (by some miracle) on the most slippery boards ever.  Despite his ailments Jacob was a good sport for that.  By the time that was over, Craig was home, so we had a quiet evening at home after that.

We have one quiet week this week (just a dentist appointment for me aside from Jacob's various workouts and appointments), but next week has Jacob's cardiologist appointment (finally) and Carter's middle school new parent meeting, which is on the same day as my work retreat.  A week after that is Carter's orientation and I'm thinking we're going to cram in Cedar Point either right before or right after that, depending on whether we decide on a vacation.  I haven't bought school supplies and am still debating whether Jacob needs new uniform pants.  He says no so I guess he can start the year with what he has?  I am totally in denial that we're at that point, though.  This summer has been a complete mind-bending time warp, I guess.  Hopefully we can finish strong, but I'm just not that confident.

A Quieter Weekend...But Never Dull

So, life chugs on and summer continues to dwindle.  Jacob is still recovering from his concussion but seems to be making progress.  He's had a couple minor setbacks, like when he tried to play blitz ball in the yard (sort of like whiffle ball) and felt like he must have spun too fast while swinging, or when he beaned himself with a ball playing an arcade game this weekend (more on that in a bit).  He has the worst luck.  But it's slowly but surely getting better and he's using his doctor-recommended physical activity to get up some shots so he's ready to go when his head is.

Have I mentioned we're in the midst of a weird school debate again?  Nothing serious at the moment, but he's had coaches express interest in him in other districts, which has gotten everyone thinking again.  His previous coach is leaving (did I mention that?) and has been trying to do right by him, I guess, so we're just sort of getting these tidbits of interest.  There's one scenario that could work, but I think it's risky and super messy, and there's no guarantee that would be any better or that it would remain feasible for three years.  I'm a little annoyed about all of it because there's no great option at the moment, but I have to be the voice of reason for now and poo-poo most of this.  He's still having some shin issues but continues to get treatment.  Craig heard from one Knighthawks player that he had weird shin issues for a while and it didn't resolve until he did a year of a walking boot in his normal life (though he did play through it).  Lovely.

And in case you were wondering, the constant dog pleas are still going strong.  He just won't let it go.

Also on the odd medical front, I continue to worry about Carter, maybe more today than ever.  We've been through the antibiotics--oral and topical--and while the mouth sore seems much better (just a little dry like it has been for years, but some regular ointment use should help), but his cheek is still swelled and his gums are still funky inside.  I was a little hopeful because that pesky loose molar finally came out the other day.  It's been loose and bugging him since before this all started more than a month ago.  I was hoping that was somehow weirdly, miraculously tied to it even though the dentist didn't see any dental cause, but it's been a few days now and no noticeable change...I think, anyway.  It's weird, because when I look at him in person the two sides don't look as unbalanced to me when I compare to a photo from June, but at the same time that one side doesn't look significantly differently shaped.  I'm not sure how both can be true (and no, I don't think the other side is swelled), but it's odd.  Maybe the swelling is not quite as widespread (smaller overall area causing less swelling closer to his mouth?) but yet the one area persists at a similar size?  But the fact it's still there is weird, and no one has been able to explain it yet.  I feel like maybe everyone was so fixated on the sore that they just assumed it had to be that and didn't consider anything more serious.  I mean, I guess I get it--it would be the most obvious thing that it would be an infection, and who's going to assume (or want to suggest) that an 11-year-old has oral cancer when there are a bunch of other plausible causes?  I suppose we could have him take the Cipro after all, but I'd rather swab him again first--though I don't know if that's possible without an open wound now.  My current concern is something like oral cancer because the odd texture of his oral tissue seems similar to a couple things I've read or seen.  It can be caused in kids by HPV, and I suppose it's not a stretch that it could have entered through the open wound he's had on his face on and off for years.  The dark horse is still the nutritional deficiency theory, since that can cause both cancer and sores, so next time we go back to the doctor--which at this point could be soon--I'm going to have to push for the Celiac test, among other things.  We do have another dentist appointment at the end of the month but I don't think we'll wait that long.  But the lack of weight gain in a growing kid could mask weight loss that's usually associated with more serious stuff, so it's definitely got me worried.  I might keep an eye on it for a few more days and wait to see if the dermatologist answers my message about what they would suggest as next steps, but I won't wait long because the stress alone might drive me nuts.  And yet that's probably nothing compared to the stress of waiting on any testing he'll have done.  Ugh.  It all just makes me sick.

Besides all that, we had a quieter weekend (mostly) at home.  My plants are all out of control at this point.  My zinnias and porch planter are still doing well, although the birds are attacking the zinnias to steal their seeds.  Half of them are stripped of petals and parts of their centers!  But isn't this one perfect and lovely with its little "crown"?

Saturday was just puttering around with the usual stuff and then going to play mini golf in the early evening.  By the way, mini golf was interesting because they just renovated a bunch of the course, particularly the one we play most often.  The old giraffe on the rocks is gone and a nautical theme has replaced it.  Lots of old boats and some new stone work.

There was also a giant fish!

Carter was super unhappy with his round.  After beating me at the drive-in, he came back down to earth and was super grouchy.  He really just needs to work on his technique and firm up his wrists and control his power.  We'll work on it.  This final hole was a three tier one, which we don't remember it being before (even though most of the course seemed similar), to the point we didn't realize that the tunnel hole on the second tier wasn't the "steal your ball" end hole, but rather one that kicked it out (and sometimes sunk it) on the third tier!

I wasn't much better than Carter, by the way, so it wasn't a great round for most of us.  We did go into the arcade for a bit after that, and that's where Jacob was throwing a ball at the "knock down the clowns" game when it bounced off an oddly placed sign on the front of the game (right at throwing level that jutted out into the throwing area) and hit him in the head.  It was definitely a little setback.  He also oddly stunk at the basketball game this time, although we think it was scoring differently than it did in the past, too.  Weird.

On Sunday we headed to Buffalo for Craig's aunt and uncle's 40th anniversary party.  We were also supposed to be going to my second family reunion earlier in the day in East Aurora, but the hostess' daughter and her kids tested positive for COVID earlier in the week so it was postponed to September.  Bummer, since they won't be around for the rescheduled one.  Stupid COVID keeps popping up.  But the anniversary party looked to be a great time.  The happy couple went to Hawaii for their honeymoon, so that was the party theme.  It was great to see everyone and celebrate an amazing couple who raised five kids.  Four of them are happily married, three have kids (five total), two live on the same street as their parents, two more are practically around the corner, and only one lives an hour-plus away but they see them a lot.  It's amazing to see how that family has grown.  The oldest was only exiting high school when we got married and the youngest was our ring bearer, so it's been quite the evolution!  There was a sweet moment where they recreated their first dance...

...and then slowly the grandkids started to join in!  It was so adorable!  Aunt Marie was made to be a baci, so it seemed just right.

There were really cute photo boards of their wedding and honeymoon, too.  This picture had the kids laughing a bit because Craig looked pretty funny--weird hair, super long legs, and his pants hiked high!

I keep trying to figure out if he looks like the kids--he would have been around Carter's age here--but the glasses are throwing me off.

The boy next to Craig is his brother, and the other two boys were their cousins who unfortunately couldn't be there for the party since they had a big charity event planned that day (not sure who planned first).  So at first we recreated the picture without them...

...then their nephews stood in...

And then one nephew took the photo and superimposed their heads!

Pretty funny stuff!  A funny end to a fun party!

So, back to the grind again this week.  It got weirdly cool today and is going to be weirdly cool tomorrow, but summer should be back for real in a couple days.  This is really the first time we've had this all summer, so I can't complain.  Nothing wrong with a capri leggings day, honestly.  I just don't want many until late September-early October!  Summer is already too short and too fast.  Work is a little crazy with big meetings (that I have to run) this week, and our new employee broke her rib over the weekend, so that added a weird wrinkle to the week.  Hard to train on things remote, but we'll see what we can do.  Craig will be gone most of the week for his college lacrosse league championship.  It's the one that used to take him out to California, but at least now it's just in Utica.  Still gone for days, but no time change and much easier to get home.  I'm not looking forward to single mom life given the circumstances, but we'll manage.  Friday I have a concert with Mary an hour away, so I will have to leave the boys for the night until super late, which is a little concerning, but I think they'll be fine as long as I set them up with dinner before I go.  They can manage themselves and (hopefully now) they know better than to do anything too stupid.  Watch a couple movies, YouTube videos, or the Pirates game, and head to bed.  I'll be home soon enough after.

Still some things to plan--like a Seabreeze day and trying to get to Binghamton for a bit, plus the Cedar Point trip, if it's even worth going since Top Thrill 2 still isn't open...boo.  I doubt we'll do anything else vacation-y at this point but I'm not ruling it out.  But my middle school new parent meeting is coming up in a couple weeks and orientation is the week after that, so we need to work around those things.  It's crazy and a little overwhelming, but it's going to be here quick!  Summer, slow down!

A Stunning Sunday

Sunday was another hot, sunny day.  I decided a day or two before that my goal for Sunday was going to be to hit up LotusFest at the Bergen Water Gardens.  It's a place I found out about in the last year or so.  It's another gem that was highlighted on social media by John Kucko, a local news guy who moved from doing sports for 20+ years to doing digital content that involves him driving around New York State and highlighting cool things in nature, roadside attractions, and other interesting things.  He'll broadcast a lakeside sunset one day, post photos from a hike the next, highlight a barn or waterfall another, and visit a cool shop or personal antique collection after that.  He talked about this place months back and I was slightly obsessed.  They have lotus flowers and water lilies, and I have been obsessed with water lilies since I went to see the Chihuly exhibit at Biltmore six years ago and saw some there.  They are so stunning, so crisp and perky and perfect.  So, I started following them on Facebook and admiring their periodic posts.

Last week they started talking about LotusFest that weekend, and I thought that would be a great opportunity to visit.  To be honest, I wasn't sure if it was a place that was open all the time, or whether it was sort of a private property situation or had very specific availability.  So this was a good chance to comfortably check it out. 

We actually got a later start than I had anticipated.  Jacob and Craig stayed home from church because of the concussion situation.  Carter and I went, but I was just feeling off.  I was super tired and wasn't sure if I had a brewing stomach thing because I felt a little weak and empty-ish, almost like you feel after you have a stomach bug but before you get hungry again.  Not as bad, but like the early stages, which made me wonder if I had something brewing and my body wasn't properly absorbing nutrition from the previous day.  We came home from church and I sat for a bit, then finally decided to go lay down until it was time for lunch.  Craig and Jacob had headed out, ideally to go to cryotherapy, which is supposedly good for concussions, and then probably on to the emergency room if the headache didn't get any better, so Carter and I were on our own.  I ended up resting for about 45 minutes.  I felt a little better by then.  Not great, but functional.  Carter had expressed a desire to continue on to Darien Lake after the water garden stop, but I wasn't sure I had it in me.  I figured we'd pack up accordingly, grab some lunch out, eat it on the way, and hopefully after the water garden I would perk up enough to go to Darien.  

We ordered lunch from Wendy's, but when we got there the drive-thru line was long and the dining room doors were locked.  The drive-thru line barely moved the entire time we were trying the doors and getting back in the car to get in line, and since we were already running late I wasn't sure it was wise to stay, as I've gotten stuck in very long waits there before.  I opted to cancel that order and go down the street to KFC instead.  Annoying, but that went smoothly, and on we went.

When we got there, there were a good number of cars parked, but nothing too intimidating.  It turns out it's essentially a plant nursery.  I don't know that I will ever have a garden exotic enough for this stuff, but it was amazing.  This was the first spot we looked, which was full of bogs with water lilies, waterfalls to the left, and lots of large pots.

The flowers were indeed gorgeous.

There were also a lot of dragonflies everywhere!  Zoom in on the next two pictures and you can see them.

It's on the tip of the water lily bud

It's near the tip of the plant in the foreground

Everything was so pretty.  I swear water lilies are a geometric wonder.  Their structure is amazing.  I think I love them for the same reason I love dahlias.

They had a few of these lovely little waterfalls, too.  I can only imagine that this is a great, tantalizing place for someone looking to build something like that in their yard.  Sort of like how I feel when I walk through the tile or lighting sections at Lowe's!

The red thing in the back is a Chinese lantern in the lotus garden

Next stop was the lotus garden.  Although I have obviously heard of lotus flowers and had a vague idea of what they look like, this was really fascinating.  There were a bunch of varieties and I guess I never knew they looked quite like this...especially the center.  They're otherworldly, like something out of Avatar at Disney.  They're all pretty big, about the size of my hand with even bigger leaves, all growing out of water bogs. 

Look at that center!

Some of them were as tall as Carter!

In the picture below you can see what the buds and spent seed pods look like.  Eventually they expand to the point where the seeds will fall out and spread.  They look sort of creepy in some ways, like bugs are going to crawl out or something, but I think I'm just traumatized from an altered internet photo I saw a few times that used a lotus pod and replaced the seeds with something creepy.

We went inside the greenhouses after that.  One was full of plants, but it felt weird because barely anything was flowering.  This isn't that kind of nursery, after all.  It did have some orchids, and it turns out this stunning set of leaves was one.

The varieties and colors were really beautiful.

Much of the greenhouse was full of pitcher plants, venus fly traps, and other carnivorous plants.  This particular one was huge, probably at least six inches tall with a couple inch diameter.  I bet it could kill a mouse.  But it was also really pretty!

There was another greenhouse with fish for koi ponds, and another with more orchids. 

Back outside, which despite the heat felt better than the humid greenhouses, we checked out the rest of the property.  There was a slightly crooked pagoda gazebo.

Out back was a number of ponds.  There weren't as many flowers in them as I was hoping, but we did see a tiny turtle and a lot of dragonflies.

This one was so pretty!  Look at that blue!

One of the few flowers with quite the set of surrounding lily pads.

Another dragonfly here, but these ones with the striped wings were so cool-looking.  They were really hard to photograph, though. 

Looking back up at the property from below...

We saw this flower on the way back up.  Such a huge and gorgeous hibiscus.

It may not have been at the top of Carter's list for ways to spend 45 minutes on a Sunday, but I think ultimately he still thought it was pretty cool and interesting to see all of the pitcher plants and other weird flowers.  Definitely not your typical plant nursery but a neat experience nonetheless!

I was in fact feeling a lot better by this point, so on to Darien we went.  I guess fast food (and maybe a little caffeine) cures all, right?  Unfortunately we hadn't had a chance to go and use our season passes yet this year.  It just hadn't worked out between busy weekends, weather, and the Dominican/COVID period.  But even two uses of the passes is more than worth it once you factor in parking and all of that, so it's still not a bad investment if you can manage that.  We decided to focus our energy on the water park, just in case we can't get back there this month before it closes for the season.  We'll have time into September to get back and ride rides, but the waterpark window is so small.  They had reopened a slide this year that was closed all last summer, so we definitely wanted to ride that.  Everything was open except Brain Drain, the one where the floor drops out, which was a little bit of a bummer but also a relief as that one still terrifies me despite having a couple slides under my belt!  We initially thought the lines weren't bad, but quickly realized that only the visible lines on the stairs weren't bad--but most rides had long waits for tubes on the ground.  Boo.  We did a lot of walking around at first to find a line we were content with, but it was a super hot day to be in bare feet on pavement so that was rough. 

Carter started out with the kids section and did a slide there, and then we moved on and decided the lazy river was our best bet.  We had a bit of a wait for a tube, but better than most slides.  It was pretty refreshing once we got in, especially since our feet had been burning off.  We then hit up the Tornado, our favorite, which wasn't terrible since the double tube line was shorter than the quad tubes.  It always leaves us laughing hysterically!  We went from there to the Big Kahuna, the slide that was closed last year.  You may recall that one as the family tube slide that my nephew Max nervously rode the first time we went to Darien with them three years ago.  It's a big round boat tube that fits four.  It was closed all last year so we figured they were fixing it, but it was still pretty leaky!  But we do think they got new tubes.  It's a fun ride, with lots of sloshing up the sides!  We went from there to Wahoo Wave, which was a much shorter wait than in the past, and most importantly, I figured out how best to carry the giant tube myself!  It was around this point that the lines were all getting significantly shorter, much like at Waldameer, which was a relief!  Wahoo Wave was a lot of fun, and then we went back over to the quad slide, which again, had almost no wait for tubes compared to the long line it had before.  We chose to do Mister Twister, the one that has three sloshy little twists in the slide, but we did it on separate tubes instead of a double to save time.  It's such a great ride and definitely the best bang for the buck when you have to wait a bit, though our stair wait was maybe only about 15 minutes.  Of course, part of that was spent with two tween siblings behind us in line, constantly messing around and fighting and bumping into me, on stairs of all things, and I was just waiting for it (especially given our sibling issue this week)--and sure enough, the sister shoved the brother and he tripped down a couple steps and painfully stubbed his toe.  Duh.  Anyway, our rides were great, and we wrapped up with a pretty quick wait on the racing slides.  Not as good as Waldameer, but I'm learning to tolerate them.  By then it was about closing time for the waterpark, and just in time because our feet were toast.  Between the hotness of the pavement and how rough it is in spots, our feet were rubbed pretty raw and it hurt to walk any longer.  The outsides of the balls of my feet were sore right through Monday!

We only had a couple hours after that to change, get some food, and ride a couple rides.  Food there is so expensive so we just settled on a pretzel for the moment.  But it took us a while to scope out the food and ride lines so we probably spent a half hour on that process.  The ride lines were still long but we decided to prioritize Ride of Steel.  It was a wait, maybe a half hour, but we hit it just right because it was way longer by the time we got off.  It was delightful as usual, especially at sunset.  I was bummed that Predator was closed (because it got more retracking over the winter and I was eager for a smoother ride) and Tantrum's line was too long, but I did consent to riding Boomerang since that got an offseason overhaul on its loop.  And sure enough, the loop was better!  Not better enough to offset the rough heart loop that gave me a heck of a head bash right at the end, but we made it.  My head only hurt for about 15 minutes, but I figured if it lasted longer, at least I'd sympathize better with Jacob!  We thought about riding something else after that, but the drop tower line was too long and by then we were eager to get home--I had to work in the morning, after all!  So we headed out...but our main mission was accomplished!  Quick selfie in the lot...

...and off we went.  We stopped at the Speedway near the Thruway on the way to grab Slurpees and snacks to supplement dinner, and got back on the road.  It had been quite the day!  And what a whirlwind weekend!  I was not really prepared for work on Monday but I can't say it wasn't a fun and fulfilling couple days!