Calm Before the Storm...

Well, not really "calm", but the blog's been a bit quiet, eh?  Sorry.  I'm not sure if I'm simply content with nothing to vent or discuss, or if there's just been too many things on my mind to get overly philosophical about any one thing. 

We had a lovely thanksgiving.  Not a particularly photogenic one, apparently, as the last pictures on my camera are from last Wednesday's thanksgiving feast at Jacob's daycare.  I will post those and a couple others soon, but seeing as how there aren't a LOT of pictures on my camera to pull off, there just hasn't been a high priority to do it (or to post them here) since last week. 

We left for Buffalo on Wednesday night.  Jacob went to bed late and woke up coughing in the middle of the night, yet he was still awake shortly after 7am.  We had a lazy morning then did a quick errand before heading over to Craig's brother's house for the feast.  We had a fantastic meal, and for a change, it was just that one.  My parents were in Portland, so we only had one stop this year.  It was a little bit of a bummer to not see them, but I was more than happy to share this year.  It was great for John, Kristin and the kids to have my parents there, and good for me to only have one meal to gorge on and less driving to do.  We had a good time with Craig's family and Jacob definitely made good use of his cousins' stash of masks and helmets.  That kid is totally into role playing right now--in his own weird way, hence the the fact that he's been parading around in as many as four layers lately.  He'll wear four short-sleeved shirts on top of one another, and shorts under his pants, and for some reason in his mind he's being a superhero or a sports guy.  Don't ask me how, but that's the latest thing.

I did some shopping online thanksgiving night--got Jacob's big gift and a new camera, which I cannot wait to play with!  Good timing, too, since that means I can leave one camera with Craig and take the new one with me to Portland.  More on that in a bit, though...

Friday we headed back around lunchtime and I managed to put up the tree (no decorations) and get settled back in.  Craig was busy most of the rest of the weekend with work, but I managed to do a little shopping (nothing exciting), put up most of the Christmas decorations, and finish the tree over the past few days.  I wouldn't call our weekend relaxing, exactly, but it wasn't super crazy either, which was nice. 

However, being back to work this week has been a little on the hellish side since I have a ton of work to do and only three days to do it in.  Everyone's busy, everyone needs everything ASAP, and I'll be in Portland in less than two days.  So, yeah, not exactly a happy start to the week for me.  On top of that, I had to finalize Jacob's daycare pictures (yes, there were a couple good ones, but I needed them to fix one for me, since he had a major patch of hair out of place) and changing over all of our insurance (medical and dental) to my job.  Craig's offerings changed and mine turned out to be the better deal.  I hate that kind of paperwork.  All of these things had a deadline of tomorrow, so between work and decorating and planning for my trip, I've been making lists and trying to carve out time to get everything done.  I'm not even sure where to begin on instructions or "suggestions" for Craig for his five days alone with Jacob.  I know they'll survive fine, albeit with a lack of home cooking and probably a little less structure than usual.  They'll be fine.  The bigger question is what I will be returning to!

I'm sure I'll be blogging from the airport pondering my coexisting angst and excitement about my trip.  It's rare enough that I even get on a plane, let alone be away from Jacob for this long, so the whole thing means I'm just a bundle of emotions heading into it.  The busy week isn't helping, nor is the mere fact that it's Christmas season.  As it is this time of year I usually have a million things swirling around in my head--gift buying, cookie baking, parties and dinners, Christmas events--and there's never enough time to do it all as it is.  Throw in a cross-country trip and it leaves me a little more anxious than usual.  However, I have no doubt it will be worth it in the end, just as it was last time we had a trip in the middle of Christmas season, our fantastic trip to Florida when I was newly pregnant.  This time I'm flying solo, though, for only the second time ever.

This is my first time traveling with technology, so I'm trying to remember everything I might need for my laptop, MP3 player, cell phone, and new camera.  I'm trying to bring stuff to run outside.  I'm trying to remember the rules for packing liquids.  And I'm trying to pack it all into two carry-ons.  Ha! 

Should be an interesting few days, that's for sure.

Photo Friday

Of course, it's almost the end of Friday in the time zone where most people who read this blog reside, but oh well.  Things are good in Portland, though I do feel a little like I'm missing a body part without having Jacob as my constant companion.  Perhaps being around another child of a similar age makes his absence even more apparent, as some of Kate's tactics are similiar to Jacob's at times, though she's got a girlier, sweeter delivery most of the time.  It's different not having to be the disciplinarian, though...but I appreciate the break.

Here's a couple pictures from late last month:

Jacob discovered he could take the flight goggles off our stuffed Snoopy and he thought it was really funny to wear them.

Jacob has been wearing a ridiculous amount of clothing on a regular basis lately.  This day he was wearing his new lacrosse jersey, his favorite shorts, lacrosse gloves, a fancy helmet that Daddy got him, and his soccer shin guards.  He was ready to go! 

This is at Jacob's daycare thanksgiving feast...this was a totally random face and it seriously cracked me up!

This has nothing to do with Jacob, but I just wanted to share--because isn't this gorgeous?  It's the view from my office.  This is the only redeeming quality of these early sunsets this time of year!

Hopefully more soon from Portland...

On my way...

I'm sitting in O'Hare after a perfect first flight, utilizing my 20 free minutes of WiFi before my next flight, which boards in another 15 minutes or so.  It's been a long morning already, up at 3:15am and to the airport at 4:30am.  Security was easy and I had some time to hang out with the old Midtown Plaza Clock of Nations, which I used to walk past every day on my way to work, that is now sitting in the airport.  It was fun to have time to sit and watch it as it came to life on the hour.  I got online for a bit, and then it was time to board.  The flight was smooth, with my own single seat and window, and a gorgeous sunrise following us all the way here.  The descent into Chicago was exactly as I'd hoped when I'd picked the left side of the plane--I finally got a nice view of Chicago after so many flights here on the other side without the city view.

It was hard saying goodbye to Jacob this morning while he slept, not to mention last night while he was still awake.  It's hard to take this time away, but I feel it will be worth it.  More on that later.

Time to board...

Instant Gratification

I decided this morning that instant gratification is ruining our society.  We're obviously aware of the impact of technology...and yes, it's nice.  It's nice to be able to look up anything instantly, call people at any time (no need to have a pay phone or quarter), or watch a show or movie whenever you want.  No need to wait until Saturday morning for your favorite cartoon--just pull it up on Netflix or the DVR.  We see pictures instantly on Facebook, mere moments after friends' babies are born.  We download music moments after the album releases, order items from our couch and have them arrive the next day, and email or text people to get our message across instantly.  Sorry, snail mail.  Heck, even the prevalence of premarital sex (and at ever-younger ages) plays into this as well.  So while all these things are convenient, they're doing nothing to teach us patience. 

Recently I've been getting very frustrated with the emergence of Christmas in October.  I hate seeing Christmas displays across the way from Halloween candy, and the way we just skip over Thanksgiving completely makes me crazy.  Part of me thinks we should adopt Canada's thanksgiving, just because it times out better for the early introduction of Christmas.  We lose a vacation day, but heck, make Black Friday a holiday then.  I'm a purist, and I hate to hear Christmas music before Thanksgiving night.  Back in the day we didn't hear Christmas music at all until then, and the all-day music didn't happen until Christmas Eve!  Now it starts in mid-November (if not sooner), all day every day, right through.  Even Black Friday has been stretched earlier, with sales well ahead of the actual day coupled with crazy hype all the way there.  And if that wasn't enough, we stretch the madness out to Cyber Monday now, as well.  I've been shaking my head all week at the Christmas lights popping up all over, and the last month of mall shopping has been downright sickening.  I'm not ready for it yet, and it bugs me that we're rushing the season so early.  It never used to be this bad, and I feel like it's cheapening the season.

Part of what makes anything in life special is that there's some anticipation leading up to it.  Think about it--Christmas was special as a kid because we had this one special time of year where everything was focused on the holiday.  Advent calendars, countdown chains, and all of the traditional preparations made the season so exciting, and it was all crammed into one very special month.  Finishing school is a big deal because you've had a certain period of time to anticipate the ending.  Weddings and babies both have "waiting periods" for a reason--time to prepare and get excited.  Back in my dating days, one of my best first kisses came after weeks of nothing but great conversation and very deliberate restraint.  I just don't think any of these experiences would be as exciting without that build-up. 

On the other hand, if the time gets stretched out too long, it becomes old hat, just part of regular life.  If we had to go through the same gestation period as an elephant (22 months), we'd probably get a little bored with the concept and the excitement would probably trail off until right before the end.  Likewise, if we keep stretching out Christmas preparations way in advance, that special period that makes the season so great will just be part of life this time of year.  Instead of knowing you need to fit in certain activities during this special month, procrastination will reign as people think they have months to do it.  It just doesn't make it as urgent, so chances are, it might not get done.

Maybe I'm just a stick-in-the-mud purist and I need to get with the times.  Maybe I should just jump right in and appreciate the bonus time we have to enjoy the season.  But I still can't get past the importance of Thanksgiving, and the reminder to be thankful (particularly when heading into a season of greed and materialism) is that much more important. 

As Thanksgiving approaches this year, I'm a little bummed that we're not quite where I was hoping we would be by now--pregnant with #2 and in a much better financial situation than we were before.  Craig's job situation has changed, and it's probably a bit better than it was last year, though for non-financial reasons.  Baby #2 just isn't happening right now, and it's disappointing.  However, we have much to be thankful for, and at this point I'm in no position to complain.  But again, per my theory above, if it would have happened right away, I just don't think it would have the same impact as it will when we've been waiting and anticipating it for this long.  I've maintained all along that it'll happen in God's perfect timing, so while I have all of my earthly plans and schedules, I know that whatever His timing is is better than what I could imagine.  It's not easy to wait, but I know it'll be worth it.  And if it never happens?  Well, hopefully I'll have the grace to accept that, too, and appreciate all we have been given. 

You'd never know it by our society, but there's nothing wrong with slowing down a bit.  Everything happens in its own time.  We don't need to get ahead of ourselves just to make things happen faster.  It cheapens the experience and doesn't teach the importance of the process of preparation.  And God knows that whether it's our baby or His baby that we're preparing for, that time is precious.

Tuesday Randoms

The craziness has begun.  Thanksgiving is a couple days away and it's going to be full-speed ahead from now until the end of the year.  I have a ridiculous amount of work to do in the next week, and then I'm off work for four days to head to Portland for five days and meet my adorable new nephew, Max.  I can't wait to spend time with my niece Kate (and of course my brother and sister-in-law, as well), but of course I'm facing long travel and plenty of mommy guilt for leaving behind my sweet boy for that long.  Once I get back, I'll be diving head-first into Christmas planning, events, and shopping.  It's crazy to even think about.  Before we know it, Christmas will be here, I'll have an amazing week off work, and then it'll be the new year and we'll be back to the beginning of another year.  It's mind-boggling.

I've been dreadfully sick for a while now, which probably isn't helping.  The cough I've had for a month turned into a brutal assault on my sinuses over the weekend.  Terrible congestion that left me totally incapacitated Sunday night motivated me to go to the doctor on Monday, but unfortunately she couldn't do anything for me.  I probably just have an upper respiratory infection, which she wouldn't prescribe antibiotics for, and because I'm in the midst of the whole trying to get pregnant thing, it's risky to take any sort of drugs.  So, I just have to suffer through it.  She also said that it could just be my allergies being out of control.  Doubtful, in my opinion, though I'm sure they can contribute a bit.  I've been off allergy meds for a while, though, without much problem, but I guess cold season takes it to a different level.  I dunno...I'm tired of hearing her blame every single problem I have when I'm there on allergies, including my loss of smell and taste.  I'm ready to get a new doctor, even if just to get a second opinion.  It'd be nice to get someone who's willing to think a bit more creatively and listen to my concerns without sounding a little old-school-judgmental, like I'm someone who's spent a little too much time on the internet or something.  I've still had my moments the past couple days, but nothing as bad as Sunday night.  I've even had moments of relative comfort--not clear breathing, but not severe pain, either.

Jacob had been pretty awesome lately--which, of course, now that I've blogged about it, it will come to an end--but he's still having moments that make me crazy.  He's just been sort of fun and sweet and awesome lately.  Lots of hugs and kisses and cuddling, funny little observations, and silly little moments.  However, when he's bad, he's awful.  He's been super whiny lately about everything, demanding everything in an instant.  He has a major tantrum, complete with hitting and kicking, when he doesn't get his way.  That's just being three, I think, and I'm doing my best to maintain composure, raise my voice only when necessary, and try to be simply firm and consistent.  It's a fine line between disciplining him and finding ways to comfort him when he knows he screwed up, but lately it's been manageable.  And really, that's all I'm asking for.  Maybe he's easier, maybe my attitude is better, or maybe those good little moments have been good enough to remind me what an awesome kid I have a lot of the time.  It helps.

He's also been eating better--which I credit to rewards of Halloween candy--and going down to bed well--which I credit to a good routine.  Nothing's better than seeing your kid instinctively walk to bed after you finish the last book.  Sweet.  And the better behavior in general may be thanks to the Santa threat that we can exploit this time of year.  We don't use it a lot, but hey, one of the songs he's learning for the daycare Christmas program is "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"...you know, "he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake."  Lucky us.

Speaking of which, tonight we sat down to practice his songs, the other of which is "Up on the Housetop", which I don't know that well.  But you know what, Jacob does.  The kid knows almost the entire song--all five verses.  I can't seem to learn it, so I'm extra impressed at how good he is.  Amazing how young minds soak this stuff up.

Tomorrow is his Thanksgiving feast at daycare.  I didn't go last year because I didn't really think it was worth taking off work.  But this year I had this image of him sitting there all alone when everyone else's parents were there, and I didn't like it.  I feel like some of his tantrums are just an attempt to get attention, so keeping that in mind I've been trying to do what I can to be there for him.  This seemed like a good idea, and I have a little vacation to burn.  I have way too much work to do, but this is important, too.  Should be interesting, considering how he acted the last time we hung out with him at a daycare event. 

washload, and good for teaching a little bit of responsibility.  Fingers crossed.

Anyway, I'm hopeful for a good but busy weekend.  Time to figure Jacob out, transition into Christmas mode, and just be thankful for all we have.  Here we go...

Cell Phone Pics

As promised, here are the pictures I snapped of the photos stuck on my old cell phone.  Enjoy this blast from the past...

Five days old...hard to believe.

So sweet.  These two pictures were taken in the overnight room at the hospital a couple days before he came home.

This one was taken at the mall the day after his christening...which may have been Labor Day, if that's possible for it to be on Sept. 1st.  He was sleeping so sweetly.

This was taken Christmas Eve, possibly at bedtime.  He was laying on the bed in our room at Craig's parents' house, apparently very happy.

This was apparently on our living room floor.  Not sure why I used my cell for this one, rather than my real camera, but it's so cute!

Hard to see his face in this one, but he's in his car seat.  The winter hat and stuffed moose are perfect accompaniments.

Jacob's first experience with a balloon, at Fairport Canal Days.

He just kept holding it, which was so stinkin' cute.

Sleepy boy, probably in his car seat.

Drinking our frozen strawberry lemonade...yum!

Still drinking...

Attempt at a good pic of both of us after the lemonade.  Not too successful.

I think this was at the doctor's office.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, so out the cell phone came as one more distraction technique.

At the Red Wings game, taken the same night as I snapped the picture we eventually used for his 3rd birthday invitation.  I think I'd had so much success with the real camera that I thought it was a prime opportunity to update my wallpaper.

So, yeah, suffice it to say that I'm happy I at least have these to remember these little moments.  And what's better, now I carry my camera with me all the time so I should catch more moments naturally.  And in the event that I don't, at least I have a better cell phone camera this time around, so if they're better quality pictures, perhaps there will be more motivation to transfer them when they happen.  Not to mention that I've learned my lesson...

Little Moments

Yesterday I had to get a new cell phone.  I wasn't expecting to, but I did.  See, I'm still living in the dark ages and my cell phone is a Tracfone.  It's a prepaid thing, and considering I don't use my cell phone a lot, it makes sense to keep it.  I don't feel like spending $30-50 per month for a cell phone, even if I could use it more, because I don't need to.  And while in theory we could just ditch our home phone, I'm hesitant to do that...probably mostly because of 911 and the million things we'd have to change and the knowledge that I don't want to have to buy Jacob a cell phone the moment friends start wanting to call him.  So, after looking around at some plans online, I just decided to stick with my Tracfone.  I still had a ton of minutes left from when they screwed up and bonused me the last time I had to get a new phone, when their systems upgraded and my old phone no longer worked.  That one I got for free.  It took them ages to get it back up and running, though, so somewhere along the way I got a ridiculous influx of minutes.  Sweet.  Years later I'm still working through them, but when I had to buy a few more to tack on more time, they told me my phone could no longer be used.  Ugh.  I had been thinking about getting a new one anyway, one with a QWERTY keyboard so when I did text or try to hop on Facebook (I could sort of access it from my old phone, but it was terrible), it might be a little easier.  So, I had been eyeing a couple up and once I got word that mine was useless, I ran out to the store to get a new one and get the painful transition period over with ASAP. 

I got the best one within my price range, and so far it's cool.  I haven't tried Facebook yet, mostly because I'm still waiting for my 2,100 minutes to come back to my phone.  I'm giving them the two business days they said it might take, but you can bet I'll be calling them again tomorrow night.  Oh, and while the phone works, it's listing the wrong phone number within the phone.  Weird.  And yes, I called it, and it's someone else's number.  Oy.  But at least it's working. 

The point of this boring little story?  Well, as I was going through and changing over my contacts, I realized that a bunch of pictures of Jacob were still trapped on my old phone.  And there's no way to get them off.  While most of them are nothing special, they're still pictures of my baby...when he was a baby.  Most of them aren't fantastic memories or anything, but just little stolen moments when we were waiting around or he looked super cute and my crappy camera phone was all I had.  In most cases I just took the moment to try to get an updated wallpaper for my phone, and periodically I'd get one good enough to change to. 

Much to my surprise I found pictures from when he was five days old, still in the hospital.  I remember taking those in the overnight room we stayed in.  There was one from when he was sleeping in his stroller (Labor Day 2008, I think?), another from when we shared a frozen strawberry lemonade from McDonald's after a haircut, a couple adorable sleeping pictures, his first experience with a balloon, and at least one picture from waiting in the doctor's office.  They're all pretty sweet in their own way, though the new baby pictures are the ones I'm kicking myself about the most because I didn't take enough pictures with my regular camera back then.  Insignificant moments, perhaps, but all the more significant now that they're trapped there and time is passing us by.

Every time I stumble through old pictures, I marvel at the big boy we have now.  For example, I have this one as my wallpaper at work right now, and I catch myself just staring at it.  Jacob was just over 16 months in this picture, half a lifetime ago for him.

For the record, I don't miss raking all of those leaves every fall, but I do mourn the loss of photo ops like this one. I got a couple dandies that day, even though Jacob had sliced open his lip the night before (Halloween). Luckily, you can hardly tell.

When he's having an adorable moment, it's easy to let myself think back to my amazing little baby boy.  I see his face and the little baby comes rushing back, even if it seems almost impossible that he was ever that small.  Did I mention he measured in at 39-1/2 inches at the doctor the other day, which is a full inch more than he did back in August?  Looks like Daddy's genes are officially kicking in.  He's jumped up to the 75th percentile, which is somewhere he's never been.  But let me tell you, his pants are evidence that he shot up.  Jeans that I thought would fit all winter are getting short.  He's getting to be such a big boy, and those baby pictures blow my mind a bit.

Maybe I'm just extra sappy because I was reading another one of those depressing blogs, this one about a family whose oldest son died of a drug overdose and related assault at 18.  Seeing pictures of the kid when he was little just reminded me of how we capture these moments in time, never knowing the significance they could have down the road.  What if it turns out these random photos were more of an endangered species than we thought?  Every once in a while I take a completely awful picture of Jacob--blurry, blinking, odd face--and the instinct is to delete it because I know I won't use it and don't want to take up memory with it.  But there's a little nagging thing in the back of my mind...that if, God forbid, something happened to him, I'd kick myself for every photo I didn't have, even the bad ones.  Let's face it, in a situation like that, there would never be enough.

Tonight I took pictures of the pictures on my old phone. Hopefully I can post them one of these days, to give you a peek of these unseen moments.  For now, he're's a sneak preview--two pictures I did email off of my phone a while back...

Dinner outside at a restaurant near the lake on a warm day in spring 2009

Jacob's first gelato later that same summer, a baby cone just for him!

More to come...