Catching up...

I promise to post something more interesting at some point in the next few days. I have some video of Jacob walking, and a bunch of pictures from a busy long weekend in Buffalo to share, and I just haven't taken the time to pull anything off the camera. Things are a little busy these days with trying to get our house ready to put on the market. It looks like we're pretty close to officially plunging into this chaos, even though we're not sure that the house we like is IT. It's still out there waiting for us, which is nice, but we still have a couple reservations and we're still keeping our eyes open. Of course, most of what we're seeing in our price range is bigger than what we have now, but just as old and generally in need of updates. That just isn't going to do it for us. While we may not be in a position to be picky, we've already done a lot of updates on our current house and the threat of more is part of what's motivating us to look elsewhere. We've done a lot and are ready for a break! We really want a place that has less to do...and nothing that needs to be done right now. We want the luxury of being able to replace or add "fun" things, instead of facing major, expensive projects. And with one kid and another on the horizon in the next couple years, the last thing we want is a house that's got issues. We want a little more space and less stress. Hopefully that's not too much to ask. As much as I am the last person to want to rush things, I'm thinking it might be a good idea to get the house on the market in the next couple weeks so any listing photos can be taken before I start decorating for Christmas. We were encouraged to keep decorations to a minimum (the tree is fine), but I'd like to put up a few things so it feels Christmas-y and Jacob has a few things to look at. I suppose keeping a lot of the fragile stuff put away this year probably isn't a bad idea anyway. But with all the de-cluttering I've been trying to do, the last thing I want to do is negate it all with Christmas decorations. So I keep trying to motivate myself to do at least one thing each evening after Jacob goes to bed. This weekend was a break from it all, and now I feel like I have twice as much to do since I didn't have the weekend to catch up on all of the usual stuff. So, that's my extra-long explanation of why I've been a little infrequent with posts lately.



After this weekend I think Jacob and I are both coming down with something. His nose was running quite a bit last night and again this morning, and today I woke up with a sore throat and a slightly runny nose as well. I just feel a little off. I had a headache for a good chunk of the day yesterday, and my head's a little iffy today as well. Still, I'm glad we were able to get through the weekend without any issues. We had a lot of fun and it would have been a shame if not feeling well would have interfered with any of it. As it was, Jacob had a handful of meltdowns over the course of the weekend, but it just seems like it's all a product of his determination. Once he gets something in his head, he is determined to get it/do it/go there, and will let you know how much it bothers him when he can't. He goes totally limp or stiff, making him like a sack of potatoes to pick up, and he'll pull hair, bite, hit or grab your face in his anger. I don't know where it all came from (per my post a week or so ago), but it is a challenge to deal with. It's all about remaining calm and reminding him that those behaviors aren't acceptable. But it's hard to tell when he'll begin to understand that and if he'll even listen once he does. But for the most part he's still a good little boy. And when he's in a good mood, he's awesome. He's getting to be so fun to play with because he's getting to be more interactive. He loves peek-a-boo, throwing balls, and showing off his baseball swing. His smile is absolutely adorable. Over the weekend he started saying "Hi" and "Yeah, so that's been fun to play around with. Jacob and I even got to take a nice nap together, which hasn't happened in a long time. So, despite some challenging moments earlier in the weekend, it ended up being a pretty good time for all of us. Still, it's good to be home so we can settle back in to our routines and keep working on the projects that we hope will lead to a better life for all of us! More soon...

Our Growing Boy

There are so many times recently where I've found myself just watching Jacob, amazed at the little boy he's become. First and foremost, I'm sure walking has contributed to this. If I haven't mentioned it, Jacob is walking a lot now. Just about a couple weeks ago he really got going, walking more than crawling, and doing it on his own without our encouragement. Once in a while he still reverts to crawling, but for the most part he's very content walking these days. He's doing very well when he's holding a hand, which I love. Not only is it so cute, but it's a nice break for my poor arms. He's still a skinny little boy but I think he's filling out a bit and (hopefully) gaining a little more weight. Some moments he still seems light as a feather, and others I feel like I can barely support him with my arm anymore. If nothing else, it's nice to know I have options now when transporting him.


Watching him toddle around the house is so adorable. Now that he's got two free hands, he can carry stuff all over the place, so we end up with toys (and other things) all over the house. Sometimes it's fun just to see what he pops around the corner with. I love hearing his little "stomp-stomp" walking style as he lumbers down the hardwoods. I'm still so nervous about him because he's still pretty iffy on balance sometimes. He tries to go faster than his little feet can safely move at this point. We've made a lot of good catches lately, believe me! But after such a long wait, it's a joy to see him finally able to walk around. And wherever we go, when he's walking along holding a hand, he elicits smiles from the people we pass. It's so cute!

Over the weekend I installed his first "big boy" car seat. I managed to get a good enough deal online that I got a Britax Roundabout pretty close to my $150 budget. I could probably get close to that for a seat for Craig's car, thanks to 20% off coupons for both Babies 'R' Us and Buy Buy Baby, but I think I'm going to opt for a different, cheaper, but still very good seat, just because I think the other one will be easier for Craig to use correctly. I think. I think I'm going to go with the Evenflo Triumph Advance, but don't quote me on that just yet. But as for the Britax, I'm actually leaving it backward-facing for a bit longer even though we're well past the year and 20 pounds requirement. The more I read up on the subject the more I'm convinced that it's safer. And if it's a choice between Jacob's entertainment value and keeping him alive in a car crash, I'll take keeping him alive. I read something about how babies spines don't fuse for a long time--I can't remember, but maybe even 2 or 3 years old--and it only takes a small bit of stretching to sever the spinal cord. And the trauma to that area is considerably less in a backward-facing seat. I saw this disturbing PSA (I think it was Welsh) that was a dramatization showing the inner workings of a car accident caused by a texting teenager. While I'll spare you the gory details, I have been haunted ever since by the sight of a baby in another involved car that was seemingly untouched, with his eyes wide open, but motionless. And all I can think is that his neck snapped. Even though that wasn't the point of the PSA, it resonated and I want to keep Jacob's little neck as protected as possible. He's got another 10-12 pounds until we have to turn him around, and I will gladly make full use of that time. The seat will accomodate him forward-facing until he's 50 pounds, so it will work for him for a long time. I still think he might outgrow the height before he outgrows the weight! I think his other seat will be much the same. He can still see quite a bit and he likes seeing himself in the mirror. He doesn't really know any different at this point, so I have no real reason to feel guilty. I'm very comfortable with the decision.

Otherwise, Jacob has been figuring out a lot of new stuff lately. Suddenly he's putting the pieces together with a lot of things. He knows to make noises when driving trucks around the floor, he does his version of "hello" (which he still doesn't say as a normal greeting, mind you) when he holds a phone or his hand up to his ear, and the last couple days at day care he's been picking up a toy spoon and pot and doing some mixing! He even tried to feed me with the spoon this morning! Since he learned how to drink out of a straw a month or so ago, I bought him a straw sippy cup this weekend and I think he's hooked. He loves it. He also likes to blow kisses (thanks in part to the Elmo Live dolls you see everywhere in stores) and knows how to give real ones, too. I love his hugs and kisses, though he's also learned how to shake his head no, so I get rejected a little more often now when I ask for one. Hmmm. He started saying "All Done" a lot over the weekend, though I'm not 100% sure he understands the concept because once in a while he'll sneak in a couple more bites after he's "done" with his meal. He's doing pretty well learning body parts and is trying to repeat some words that we encourage him to say. Usually he's a little off, but at least he's trying. He points to the wagon at day care and says "Wa", for example. You can just see the wheels turning these days, and despite cranky tantrums when he can't do something he wants to, we still manage to have a lot of fun! Getting laughs and smiles out of him is the best, and fortunately, we get a lot of those!

But like I was saying at the beginning of this post, sometimes I just find myself in awe of this amazing little boy. Once upon a time he was a tiny cluster of cells, and then he was a living, breathing, helpless little baby, and now he's a walking, talking little boy. I definitely try to savor each moment I have with him (the quiet ones and the fun ones especially), brushing my cheek on his soft hair, looking at his tiny toes, or blowing raspberries on his little belly...just taking in the essence of my baby boy before he won't let me anymore! I've said it before and I'll say it again....We are truly blessed.

Raising a Violent Child?

Ok, so, the last couple days, life with Jacob has been a little difficult. I don't know if it's teething or the seemingly constant stream of realtors visiting our house in the evenings, or what, but Jacob has been a challenge. He's been throwing his cup a lot more at dinner, refusing to eat what we're eating after a few bites, getting angry in an instant, and throwing whatever is in his hand....hard. We're a little stumped as to why he's all of a sudden acting out. While he may have had moments like this before, they were few and far between. He just seems a bit irrational these days. I can't help but wonder where the temper came from all of a sudden.

I'll admit that disciplining a one year old is a fine line to walk. They think it's funny when you respond to their wrong-doing, and obviously you don't want to encourage that. When he throws his food or his cup, I tend to raise my voice. And when it happens a lot, sometimes I even give his hand a little slap--not a hard one, but apparently it's hard enough to throw him off. I know they say that hitting only breeds hitting, and maybe they're right. But how else do you communicate to a baby that what they did is wrong when words seemingly mean nothing to them? My hope with the slap is that he'll associate what he did with that hand to the event that happened to the hand immediately after. I'm sure that doesn't work in reality, but I'm stumped. I've tried putting the cup back out of his reach for a while, taking it away completely, ignoring it and leaving it there, and seemingly everything else, to no avail. And lately the throwing has been happening in anger, with bigger, harder objects. I don't know why things are suddenly causing him such angst! If he doesn't get his way he immediately melts down, and will keep crying for a while...even as long as a half hour!

Of course I'm starting to worry that it has something to do with my parenting, or maybe that something is seriously bothering him that we don't know about, maybe even beyond teething. What if he's in some sort of pain and can't tell us? His lip has healed up from his Halloween incident, but the soft tissue underneath, inside his mouth, is still purple. Maybe that's bothering him? What if it's something at daycare? Maybe it's just being at daycare to begin with, that even if he likes it there, he's starting to resent that he doesn't get much quality time with us? I've been trying to put him to bed a little earlier lately to combat the crankiness and the time change, but unfortunately he just seems to wake up earlier, which he never used to do. This morning's 6:45 am wakeup was a far cry from his 9:30 am sleep-ins.

Craig and I are both short on patience during the worst of it. When he throws something we take it away, and that may just lead to another meltdown, worse than whatever caused the original throwing episode. And by the way, there's definitely a difference between throwing something like he throws a ball and throwing something in anger. The angry one gets things taken away. And when he has a meltdown, it is a full body one. He'll cry, throw his body around (he got me pretty good this morning on my upper cheek when he threw his head back while I was trying to put on his sneakers), writhe around, bang his head on the floor (lovely), and be just plain hysterical for a while. Sometimes you can switch his attention and it helps, but often he'll remember 30 seconds later that he was upset about something and start all over again. And his inability to fully communicate makes this that much more difficult. If he could tell us what he wants (beyond food, milk, or his pointing abilities), it would make things much easier. He might still get a "No", but at least we'd know why it's happening.

Yesterday I got a little misty on the way into work because I felt so bad that I couldn't spend the day with him and try to figure out what's going on. As far as I know daycare hasn't noticed anything funny with him, so of course, that makes me wonder if it's me. Is he rebelling against me because I discipline him too much? Or is it just because I'm his mother and that's innate in every kid to test their parents? It's hard, no matter what. And add on to all of this the stress that's bubbling up over the prospect of getting our house ready to go on the market and it's been a rough few days. The idea of tearing apart our house and de-cluttering it is pretty overwhelming. How do you do that when you have too much stuff to begin with (even if you like it and want to keep it) and need to have baby-related items in nearly every room? And the simple thought that once I start it, our lives won't be back to normal for a long time is scary. I hate to think of paring down the Christmas decorations and removing the pictures and knicknacks that remind us how important our family and friends are. And minimizing toys? Ugh. Lots to think about and even more to do.

Happy weekend, everyone. My parents are coming to visit this afternoon, and then we're going to the Amerks game together. Tomorrow we're going to make a quick trip to the zoo (they're having a technology recycling event, so we'll go see animals after we ditch some old electronics) and do some house stuff. We'll see how that goes!

Halloween Weekend

Well, this weekend didn't turn out quite like I thought it would. But yet, it still turned out to be a pretty darn good weekend. After a busy and stressful week (still worrying about all of this house stuff), I was really looking forward to Friday. I got to dress up for work (I was a Deal or No Deal model, complete with case #7...I even won a prize!) and Jacob got to wear pajamas to daycare for their second annual pajama party day. Not having to worry about sending his Halloween costume there was a godsend! It ended up being a great day full of food and fun, and we had a nice evening out to dinner before going home and relaxing!

Saturday we had to be up bright and early because the realtor was coming to check out our house and give us suggestions of what we might need to do before putting it on the market. The meeting was good--she thinks our house is in great shape, though an inspector may have another opinion--but we still have about a million questions running through our minds. Jacob took a long nap in the afternoon that afforded me the opportunity to do some running around. I researched new car seats and did some shoe shopping, and he was in a good mood when I got home. We grabbed a quick dinner and then it was time to do a quick pumpkin carving (I ran out of time to do it earlier in the week) and get Jacob ready for a couple houses worth of trick or treating. We were just about to do some last minute pictures before going out, and all of a sudden I heard a thump. Jacob fell into our storm door and cut his lip on the metal bar that controls how quickly the door closes. He was bleeding pretty good and screaming like crazy. Craig and I were pretty frazzled, just trying to get a good look at it (you know how blood channels wherever it's wet? That made it look a lot worse than it was) and eventually trying to get him out of his costume and start icing it down. He bled on his costume a bit (got it out pretty well, I think) and it took a freeze pop to ice it, but eventually he calmed down and it stopped bleeding. Still, we called the doctor and they said that if the edges were split open, that we needed to take him to the emergency room. Ugh. Still, the bleeding had stopped and he seemed to be doing ok, so I got him back in his costume and took him across the street and next door to get in his first trick or treating. Good thing we did, because those great neighbors I mentioned in the post about our househunting had this nice baggie full of stuff for him--animal crackers, wafer cookies, and a couple easy to eat candies. So nice. See why I'm hesitant to leave them? They were sad to hear we were looking, too.

Anyway, after stopping at the next door neighbors' as well, we went home, took off the costume, and headed out to the ER. Craig remarked that it was like an episode of "ER", going to there on Halloween. Fortunately, it wasn't very busy. We were in and out in about an hour, and Jacob seemed to brighten the night of every staffer there just by walking around and smiling. It was really cute. They decided he didn't need a stitch, so we paid our co-pay (ugh) and went home. At least we had peace of mind, and we're so lucky it wasn't worse. Jacob was great through it all and he fell asleep on the way home. Since the disaster prevented us from getting any good Halloween pictures, I took one of my sleepy little boy and his fat lip...

Since it's a little hard to see, here's a zoomed in version:

The cut goes up under the lip a bit, and there is a purple bruise inside his mouth where his teeth must have hit when he fell. Ouch. The swelling was down by yesterday morning, and it seems to be healing nicely. It hasn't seemed to bother him at all. Once he was in bed, we finished off Halloween night by watching Monsters vs. Aliens...cute movie. Odd concept, but we loved the blue blob :)

Yesterday ended up being a little wacky. Not sure if it was the time change or what. We got up for church just fine. Jacob usually falls asleep on the way home from church and seemed well on his way when we left church yesterday, but he was still awake when we got home and was all of a sudden chipper again. So, we ran out and did a couple errands at the mall (the rest of my shoe shopping, socks for Jacob, and a phone charger for Craig). Jacob fell asleep on the way home that time and then proceeded to sleep through lunch. Oops. I was really starting to get nervous about how the rest of the day would go when he was still sleeping at 2:30! While he slept we ate lunch, watched the Bills game, and I got caught up on a bunch of newspapers and other stuff I'd been meaning to read. Jacob finally woke up, ate his lunch no problem, and then we were off to another open house. We knew this one was a bit out of our price range, but it was close by and I wanted to see if the extra $13,000 more it cost over the other one we're looking at made a big difference. Sure, the living room and kitchen were gorgeous, and two of the three bedrooms were big, the bathrooms were newer and the house was generally very nice....but the basement was crappy and the third bedroom was tiny. But really, for about $200 more per month, nah. Don't get me wrong...I'd live there in a heartbeat. But given the cost and the couple things I didn't like, it wouldn't be my first choice. Still, Jacob liked the stairs a lot and it was, as always, an educational experience. We're still pretty stuck at the moment, but we're waiting on a few answers so we shall see...

Once we got home we headed out to the backyard to play in the leaves. Well, Craig was raking and bagging, and I did a little raking to make some piles for Jacob so I could snap a couple pictures of him. Here are the best of the best...

He's helping put the leaves in the bag in this one...

And now he's helping to rake...

But it's really most fun to play in them!

If you want to see the rest of the photo session, click here and go to page 5. Some of them ended up a little blurry because I was playing with the settings on my camera, but you get the idea :)

We finished off the day with a good dinner and a bath for Jacob. After Jacob was in bed, Craig and I attempted to catch up on some TV. We both fell asleep during the second show, sometime before 11pm. I guess it was a busy weekend for all of us!

Moving Up

I know this may seem like a no-brainer, but I'm not sure I ever realized how much having kids would impact the process of buying a new house. Until now, we hadn't really been serious about it, at least not anytime soon. We've been in our house now for a little over four years. I guess I didn't anticipate us staying any longer than five years or so, but I think I figured by then that we'd have found some excuse to move back to Buffalo, or that we'd both have fantastically high paying jobs that would afford us a dream house...not huge, mind you, just newer, bigger, and nicer. As much as I didn't want to start with a starter house (because I didn't want to be in this exact position of having to move, whenever), we didn't have much of a choice. We were both making peanuts at the time and only thanks to my generous grandparents and high savings account interest rates could we afford what we ended up with. Fast forward four years and we both make considerably more money...but it's still not what we'd like to be pulling in, and day care swallows up a bunch of the extra anyway. Knowing how much money we've put into the house, we probably could have gotten a better one to begin with...but we just didn't know at the time. Unfortunately, there's still a lot more we should do. Forty-five year old houses sometimes come cheap, but they come at a price all their own.

When we bought our house, the goal was to have at least one child while we were there, and then figure out how the space fit our needs beyond that. I spent the first five-plus years of my life in a house that size and our family of four was fine. But times have changed, I guess, with the need for a computer and just more "stuff". Craig and I had more than enough room when it was just the two of us, and were fine when Jacob was a newborn. Once he started getting bigger toys and started to get more mobile, it started to feel a little cramped. And when I think of adding another baby to the mix in the next couple years, I immediately start feeling claustrophobic. We'd have to move everything out of our office--computer, bed, dirty laundry, Craig's extra dresser, a bookshelf--and find other places for it all. And really, there's nothing convenient available in our living space. We're pretty full. Sure, we could reorganize our storage and move at least the computer to the basement, but I'm not sure any of it would make a great difference or be particularly convenient.

Ultimately I think we'd run out of room no matter what, and I decided a while back that there was no way that I wanted to pack or move while pregnant or with a new baby. I don't need the stress (mental or physical) on me or the baby. Moving is incredibly stressful and exhausting when you're 100% healthy, let alone when you're pregnant or sleep-deprived. I find it hard to slow down when pregnant (hence my bathroom border installation and frequent furniture assembly last time around), so I can only imagine the damage I could do mid-move. So...since my ideal timeline is to be freshly pregnant about this time next year, we'd have to move sometime between now and then. It's still a relatively decent window, but it could close fast when you take into consideration the time it could take to sell our house and go through closings on both. Just the thought of it gives me serious anxiety, and I haven't even added packing into the mix...ugh.

I've always kept my eye on the real estate world, probably more out of curiosity than anything, but a while back I set up a recurring search on our local real estate site within the bounds of what I thought we'd want. Every week I check to see if anything new has popped up. There had been a couple that intrigued me, but nothing to the point of going to see any. One neighborhood in particular had caught my interest a couple times because it had newer houses that were moderately sized and priced. They were also a bit more contemporary looking than your average house of that size, so that was neat. It's a series of three cul-de-sacs, making for a quiet neighborhood. Houses have gone up for sale periodically there, but either we weren't serious enough about it or I never bothered to try to see one before it sold. Well, last week I noticed that one of the houses up for sale in that neighborhood was having an open house. So last Sunday while Craig was at work, Jacob and I headed off to see it. I really figured that it would just be a means to an end--that I would see that the house wasn't that great, that the bedrooms were too small, that it just wouldn't work for us--so I could stop staring at listings for houses like that one. Well...that's not exactly what happened. The house was pretty stinkin' great. The last time we looked at houses, there were only a couple out of maybe eight or so that we walked out of thinking, "Yeah, we could live here." The rest were good, solid no's. So imagine my surprise when the first house I look at is really decent. The kitchen is large, the dining room is comfortable, the living has a cathedral ceiling and open stairway, the basement is partially finished with lots of storage, the laundry room is on the first floor, the bedrooms and full bath are nicely sized, there's a nice deck and backyard, and the house itself looks well-built and well-maintained. I liked it enough that we set up a meeting yesterday with the realtor so Craig could see it too. He liked it as well. Now our biggest concern is deciding how serious we are and what we have to do to get ours ready for the market.

But for all the times I've complained about our house and dreamed of moving on to bigger and better things, I still find myself hesitating. When you get settled into a house it becomes a part of who you are. And in the time we've been there, we've had a baby and watched him grow for the last 16 months. And he factors in so greatly to this whole process, in so many ways. As it was we had pretty much decided to stay in Greece so Jacob didn't have to change daycares. I do wonder what a house change will do to him...will he stop sleeping well because he misses his old room? I'd be a little sad to leave our house because we have so many good memories there now with all of Jacob's firsts. It's in a nice neighborhood with a school and a playground right around the corner. I always imagined walking there day after day in the summer to play with Jacob, and maybe even walking him to school there one day. Speaking of schools, is that elementary school any better or worse than the one we'd be moving to? Right now we have a great tree for his swing, but I'm not sure there is one at this other house...though I suppose we could put up a swing set there instead. Our neighborhood has sidewalks perfect for wagon rides, while the other one doesn't really get enough traffic to necessitate sidewalks (but still...it'd be nice to have them). What kind of friends would he have in each neighborhood as he grows older? We have great neighbors now that have been really thoughtful toward us and Jacob, and I would definitely miss knowing that they're there.

Even just having to consider how our routines will change over the years with a growing boy, and someday another baby, is mind-boggling. For example, one of the drawbacks for me with this new house is the laundry room. The good news is that it's on the ground floor. The bad news is that the stationary tub is in the basement and there's probably not much room for an ironing board, drying rack, or a place to hang clothes on hangers in the laundry room itself. Jacob is entering the muddy knees phase and will be getting even more into self-feeding over the coming months. I already spend a bit of time each week scrubbing in our (new) stationary tub. Will it be inconvenient if I have to do that in one place and bring it to another spot for washing? I don't know. I'd definitely appreciate the bigger kitchen with plenty of room for sippy cups and Jacob-specific foods (it's all crammed in one little cabinet right now), not to mention enough cabinets to have a "fun" 0ne for Jacob to dig through. Right now my cabinet space is too scarce to have one like that. It will be nice to have more space for him to run, and I'm sure he'd find endless fun climbing the stairs. But will stairs become more of a pain than they're worth? In particular I think about that for when we have another baby and we're climbing up and down stairs every time we need to go to the baby's room from anywhere other than our room or the bathroom. That said, I think we'll have a tough time finding a ranch that's large enough and in our budget, since most large ranches cost a ton.

We know that at some point we'll have to move because we're just going to outgrow our space. We could potentially spend a lot of money on upgrades for our current house, and there are still things that concern me about it (aluminum wiring being at the top of that list), so it may not be a bad thing to do. I don't know if we'll find many houses this new, this large, and this nice within our budget, but what if we jump the gun and miss out on something better or find out that this house isn't all it's cracked up to be? At the end of the day we just want what's best for our family...be it comfort, convenience, health, or anything else. And when you don't know exactly what that entails, it's a tough decision. Stay tuned...

Halloween!

For the past few weeks I have agonized a bit over Jacob's Halloween costume. I just wasn't moved by anything I was seeing in the stores. We pretty much figured he'd end up being a dog since that's one of his favorite things, but I hadn't gotten around to buying a costume yet. I figured that if that didn't work out, he could always be Linus. I figured he could wear a red striped shirt and carry around a blue blanket. He doesn't have to dress up for daycare (they do pajama day instead) so it was really just for a minimal amount of trick or treating, plus maybe a trip to the Amerks' Halloween game and potentially one other party. But really, he's one and I didn't expect him to be comfortable enough in any costume to wear it for a lengthy period of time no matter what.

I kept meaning to go costume shopping all last week, and various things just got in the way. Over the weekend we headed to N.T. for the annual Binkley family Oktoberfest, and my mom had pulled out a costume from our infamous Halloween box--a mouse. She made it and I wore it when I was two. And judging by the pictures, I was a darn cute little mouse. Jacob fit in the costume very well and made a pretty cute mouse himself! He wasn't too sure about the costume at first, and was hesitant to smile for pictures, but he did pretty well in it after a while. Here he is showing off his cheese :)



And then there's this picture that looks like he's being a little angel boy and forcing a smile for the camera....cute in its own way!


On Sunday afternoon we headed out to the Amerks game for their "Sweets in the Suites" night, which involves trick-or-treating through the luxury suites. I figured it might be a fun little test run and a good excuse to go to the game and wear his costume. It ended up being pretty chaotic, but Jacob did pretty well. He didn't like getting his mouse nose or whiskers (I used lip and eye pencil, for lack of anything better on short notice--they seemed less harsh than that waxy makeup, and they were a lot harder to wipe off, too!), but he settled in after a bit. He did a good job walking between suites (when he could--holding my hand, of course), and I tried to get him to take the candy and drop it into his bag. He did ok, but the chaos of all the big kids and lots of crowds made it a little extra tough. At least he kept his cool amidst the chaos. Here he is in full whisker :)

And hanging out with Daddy...
And for now I will leave you with the "tail end" of this post... :)

The one thing I can't get off my mind lately...

...is my fear of the flu. Of course, I'm trying not to get caught up in the swine flu hype, but at the same time I'm trying to not ignore it because it's a serious issue. Jacob got his flu shot last week when we went to the pulmonary specialist (which, in case I didn't mention it, went ok. He's down another dose of his Reglan, to two a day. I think at this point it's mostly preventative, since we haven't hit cold and flu season yet and that's when his cough really seemed to take hold last year. I'm still not particularly happy he's still on it, but how do you argue with a doctor at a really good hospital?). He got one last year (actually two...the first time they get one there's a booster), so I really didn't hesitate when it came up this year. I'm still sort of torn on the H1N1 vaccine. There's lots of stuff that makes me nervous...particularly talk of the amount of mercury in the shot and what the potential side effects could be on something that hasn't been rigorously tested over a number of years. Half of the stuff you read makes you think you're an idiot for not getting one, and the other half makes you think you're an idiot if you do. It's hard to figure out what's hysteria and what's the truth, and where the risk exceeds the reward.

On one hand, I would do anything do keep Jacob safe. The thought of losing him to anything, let alone something so seemingly treatable, makes me crazy. Absolutely out of my mind. The flu makes me nervous because it's pretty easy for kids to get seriously ill. And when you've got a kid that's too young to really communicate what's wrong with them, it's extra scary. I have a feeling that a lot of damage could get done before you really figure out what the problem is. To make matters worse, they say that H1N1 preys on the lungs more than the regular flu. And thanks to all of his issues last year, I'd have to think Jacob would be particularly susceptible. He's been healthy for a while now, but I'd have to think that his previous illnesses would either contribute to his potential to have problems or are indicative that he could be at risk for problems. And that is just scary...because on the other hand, the vaccine is scary in and of itself. When you hear what side effects there can be or think about the mercury that you're putting into your innocent little child, that, too, can stop you in your tracks. Just the other day I saw something online about a Washington Redskins cheerleader who was the picture of health and fitness who ended up with a debilitating illness as a result of a regular flu shot. Nothing is wrong with the batch of the vaccine she got, but for some reason it really screwed up her brain. She ended up with dystonia, which involves seizures and general difficulty doing much of anything. It's horrible. And sure, it's a one in a million thing. Then again, it's also rare (but more common) for someone to die of the flu. But when you think that the flu is usually treatable and something like dystonia is not, it creates quite a dilemma. Either way you'd end up kicking yourself, whether you got the vaccine and it caused problems or you didn't get the vaccine and the flu created problems of its own. It's sort of like the difference between riding in a car and riding in a plane. If you ride in a car the chances of an accident are higher than in a plane. But if the plane has an accident, the chance that you're going to die is probably higher than your average car accident. And no, neither option is good...in either scenario.

Neither Craig or I have gotten the regular flu vaccine yet. Flu shot clinics here are getting canceled and/or swamped, and neither of us have called our doctors yet. Craig sometimes can get his through the Amerks, but apparently healthy hockey players aren't on the priority list right now so that's not an option at this point either. Assuming Jacob's vaccine takes okay, he'd be protected in the event either of us did get a regular case of the flu. But H1N1 seems to be cropping up more and more lately, so I have a feeling it's only a matter of time before it starts hitting this area and the people we know...whether at work, daycare, or elsewhere. And I won't lie...it scares the crap out of me. But so does the vaccine. And is it bad if Jacob gets it and we don't? I just don't know. You can never be too careful with your health or your child's, and in this case there's no clear answer.

Regardless, have a nice weekend!