All the Things

I realized when I went to write this post that I hadn't transferred pictures from my phone to my computer since Halloween.  Which means it's been a full month.  I guess that just proves the fact that November isn't that exciting or photo-worthy most of the time.  So I guess what was going to be a general update about Thanksgiving is going to be a photo catch up post, too.

Going all the way back to Honey's long weekend with us at the very beginning of the month, this pic is from when she froze in the yard and I didn't realize until I turned around that there were deer out.  She stared them down as long as she could and would not move!  You can just see the deer butt in the tree clearing.

She was clearly pretty relaxed with me.  This was one of her more entertaining naps on my leg.  Sweet girl.

The boys are iffy on having her again because of the allergy issue--and the fact that she can get a little stinky.  This time around she rolled in poop in the yard (not sure if it was hers from her previous visit or another animal), which was not really fun.  But I like being a safe place for her where she feels comfortable.  I ended up seeing her for a few minutes again a couple weeks ago when Lori and Kevin took a day trip and needed her to get fed.  She was so happy to see me!  I only stayed long enough to let her out, feed her, and give her some pets, but it was nice.  She's so adorable.

The fall colors had a late but swift exit shortly after Halloween thanks to some windy and rainy weather.  The colors generally weren't great this year--nice pockets but generally a bit in the yellow-green-brown range.  Some leaves seemed to hang in extra long--in fact, our front tree was very slow to lose them and only really started changing about a week before Thanksgiving.  Then they slowly started dropping, and by the time we got back from Thanksgiving it was almost bare, presumably thanks again to high winds.  But I did capture this lovely tree around the corner on one of my early month walks.
 

This was a mum I got cheap from Aldi.  I was obsessed with the pattern and colors and figured I needed one more plant to get me through November, since my other plants had crapped out.  I ended up bringing this one in when the super cold weather hit, and it's only now starting to die off a bit.  I almost want to plant it somewhere in the yard to see if it could come back next year, but not sure the weather will cooperate.

I've had some lovely sunset walks on the evenings I've been able to get out before dark.  Walking is tough this time of year because of the cold and early darkness, but I did manage to log 13 workouts in November to get my monthly badge on my watch.  I've gotten good at bundling up and getting in a quick mile, but there were a couple days in between the very dreary November weather where I logged a couple miles.  That was nice!

On November 10th, we woke up to this craziness.  I don't remember a solid snow quite that early in a while.  I think we had one in 2019, but most years lately we've practically made it to Christmas without significant snow.  This was a solid coating and it covered everything.  The trees were gorgeous.  We've had a few decent snowfalls so far, actually.  None stick around for more than a few days, but it has helped me get in Christmas mode a bit.

These were survivors from my year-end cleanup.  I finally cleared off a bunch of porch plants and my garden after that snowfall came with a hefty freeze and killed all but a couple things.  Those marigolds entertained me to no end.  Each one was a little different in its coloring.  And those potatoes came from my garden!  I found a lone sprouting potato in my pantry during the summer that must have fallen out of the bag.  I figured I'd plant it for fun and see what happened.  It grew a tall green shoot, and when I cleaned out the garden, I pulled it up and found those two potatoes plus a bunch of tiny baby potatoes.  I feel like the darker one was the original, but I'm not sure because it was pretty shriveled when I planted it.  A couple days later I was walking out there and saw something sticking out of the ground, and it was an even bigger one that didn't come up with the roots.  They sadly turned green before I could do anything with them, but it was cool to know I could do that!

On my walk a couple weeks ago, I looked over and saw a squirrel that I swear must be the offspring of the white squirrel I was obsessed with last year.  I'd been a bit sad to not see it this year, and assumed it had passed away.  But this one was in the same area where I always saw that one, and this one was mostly white except for the tip of the tail and a stripe across the shoulders.  I wish I could have gotten a better picture, but it was skittish and this was as good as it got.  But it made me happy to think the white squirrel lives on in some way.

For years I've been trying to figure out how to do a Christmas light display beyond the "tree" I string up on the porch wall with a leftover 2x4, some cup hooks, and a siding hook.  Our only outlet is right under the porch window, so anything not against the wall involves cords being in the way.  I finally decided it might be possible to run an extension cord from the outlet along the wall, tape it under the door, and then feed it off the porch to the flower bed.  And then I saw a post about a couple pop-up lighted trees at Aldi that everyone really seemed to like.  But I kept not seeing them in the store.  Then a couple weeks ago I went in early one Wednesday to get these sneaker boots I was eyeing up, and they had the trees!  I decided to bite the bullet and give it a try for $20.  I decided to put them up just before Thanksgiving before the weather got cold, just in case the setup wasn't quite as quick and easy as I was hoping.  Thankfully it wasn't too bad (although I was thankful it was as warm as it was nonetheless), and they turned out so cute!
 

I figured I'd do future me a favor and put out my wall tree, too.  It was only a few days before Thanksgiving (and a late one at that), and saving myself the 15 minutes of pulling all of that out in the middle of indoor Christmas decorating sounded like a good idea.  It was.

I'm so happy to have some additional lights, and it's nice to know that setup works in case we ever want to enhance it further.  I have the extension cord in a plastic container sealed with electrical tape.  We'll see how that goes, but I could probably plug a couple more things in at some point.

I also had an evening to get my small tree up.  This year is the sports theme, and it's so sweet to see all the sports represented--tons of basketball, baseball, and hockey, and a couple others as well.  And the ornaments belong to all four of us, so it's such a fun representation of our evolution--from Craig and me in our younger days, to being married, and now with two sports-minded kids.  Once again, it was a good call to get that one out of the way ahead of time.

The days before Thanksgiving were pretty busy.  Jacob's basketball season has been ramping up, and he's doing well with his leg.  But we're spending a lot of time running him around to practice or training or shooting, and I felt like the whole week before was a bit of a blur between making Thanksgiving plans and figuring out how to take care of all the family obligations, too.  As I mentioned, we almost had to host, but thankfully my mom was willing to have Craig's parents over, with the understanding that I would come in early and do the prep with her.  On Tuesday night I got through some running around and then had to come home and bake my apple pie.  Wednesday morning Carter had a GI appointment, so I got up early to bake Jacob's biscuits for both stops, because I needed to come back home from the appointment and get on the road.  The appointment went well.  They were very happy with his progress.  He's going to wean off the omeprazole he went on in September and aim toward getting off the mesalamine in a few months once they're comfortable with where his infusion levels are.  He's stretched out to eight weeks currently, but they did want us to run and get a blood draw after the appointment to check where they stand now, a few weeks before the next infusion.  If they're low they'll either up the dose or bring us back to six weeks.  But he's doing really well with weight gain and remaining symptom-free.  He did have one bowel movement with blood a couple days before the appointment, but it didn't happen again and they figure it was just his body fighting something off.  That can cause a short flare.  Sure enough, he does have a bit of a nasty cold right now.  He was stuffy Thanksgiving night, but we were near a dog so we figured it could be that.  But by Saturday it was clear it was more, and by Sunday we did a test to rule out COVID and flu.  Who knows how long it might last with being immune-compromised, but hopefully he'll feel better soon and won't have to miss much school.

After the blood draw and another trip out to get lunch and gas, I got on the road.  I hadn't eaten anything all day because I was rushing around to get ready to leave, so it was nice to finally eat my lunch as I drove.  I did hit some awful rain and wind, but it was an otherwise typical drive to Buffalo.  My mom and I got started on the turkey, rinsing it out and removing the organs.  We also worked on the stuffing, and I peeled the potatoes.  Those steps ended up being pretty quick and easy, and I had the rest of the afternoon to hang out with my parents, which was nice.  We grabbed dinner at Ted's, a Buffalo favorite, during which it started to snow.  It was windy and wet, and the snow just made it worse.  The boys came in later that night after Jacob's media day for basketball.

We woke up to a couple inches of snow in the morning.  Better for Christmas morning than Thanksgiving, but aside from making pavement a slippery mess, it wasn't bad.  The roads were fine, but the church parking lot was a bit rough.  Church was nice, and then we headed home to start prepping the meal.  My mom and I tag-teamed everything, and we were ready to eat shortly after Craig's parents arrived.  We had a really nice meal--pleasant conversation, good food, and no drama.  Of course, the dads and their preference for alcohol isn't ideal, but we steered away from politics and it turned out really nice.  It was refreshing to have a quiet meal and be able to talk to Craig's parents and hear his dad's stories, after two straight Thanksgivings where he wasn't welcome and we were outnumbered by people outside of the immediate family.  I think they appreciated being welcomed somewhere for a change.

We did get this nice picture at my dad's suggestion:

We probably should have had them take one with my parents, too.  Darn it.

After we ate and chatted for a bit, we had to get going to stop #2.  Yes, we had a stop #2.  It turned out that Craig's brother's family had found a house to move into ahead of Craig's parents moving in a few weeks.  I think they're renting at the moment and in the process of trying to get a mortgage to buy it.  It's smaller and needs some work, but it's not bad.  They still managed to fit the six of them, her parents, one significant other, two friends, and us.  Their Dominican friend was a little overzealous with greeting and talking to the boys, which didn't thrill me.  She's very huggy and over-the-top, and while in the past I've been able to brush it off, this time it felt weird.  The whole experience was a bit odd, to be honest.  Craig's brother reached out last week to invite us for Thanksgiving, and with it came a whole slew of revelations about a lot of things--including how sick he'd actually been right before the election and how hurt he was his own mother didn't visit him.  However, she didn't know how sick he was, and neither did we, but yet it feels like we somehow let him down.  Craig's mom wasn't thrilled that we accepted their invitation, but again, we're not here to shut anyone out.  Obviously we're stuck in the middle and it sucks to have either side complaining to us about the other.  They've both made some bad choices and said and done hurtful things.  We don't want to be in the middle.  It feels like we're now children of divorce, except instead of it being two parents, it's a sibling vs. parents.  We don't really want to do separate holidays with each, but we may not have a choice.  Christmas could be a bit complicated.  I do wish they'd go see a mediator or something, but it could be a long road before they can ever willingly be in one another's presence.      

We came home relatively early (for us) on Thanksgiving night.  Thankfully the weather cooperated and the snow stayed south.  Jacob had an early morning scrimmage on the other side of the city first thing in the morning, which was complicated by Craig's van window breaking--not the glass, but the opening mechanism, which meant he had to drive home from dropping Jacob off with the cold and snow coming in!  I drove him out to the game after that and stayed to watch the back-to-back scrimmages.  Jacob is still trying to find his groove, but did get a couple threes.  The first real game is this week!  When we got home, I finally got going on undecorating from fall and starting to pull up the Christmas stuff.  I managed to place most of the easy stuff by the time I went to bed Friday, along with just getting the big tree up (but undecorated).  On Saturday I didn't really get moving until after noon, but I managed to get everything else placed by about dinner time (with a few breaks including a walk!), and then spent the entire evening decorating the tree.  It was nice to wake up today knowing that was all done and I just had some cleanup and a couple other small things to do.  I'm happy with how it all turned out.

Now it's on to gift buying and trying to soak up all the joy of the holiday season before things get crazy.  But of course, now Carter has a cold and Jacob will probably freak out about catching it, basketball is starting, Craig's work is crazy and mine is ramping back up, and Christmas is only about 23 days away, if we count Christmas Eve.  I've bought a handful of gifts but definitely have more work to do!  I know time is going to FLY...and now, on to December! 

News & Notes, Shiny New Liver Edition

Well, here we are, the weekend before Thanksgiving.  November is wrapping up, and the most annoying of the dark fall is nearly behind us.  Twinkling lights and Christmas music are a week away from soothing our souls (at least if you're a purist like me).

The big update from this past week was that my friend's daughter Meredith got her shiny new liver, as they'd been referring to it since a nurse wrote it on her update board one day.  When I last posted about it, they didn't think she'd need a transplant, but when they confirmed it was indeed Wilson's Disease, the only cure for that is a transplant, so she went to the top of the list.  Thankfully they seemed to stabilize her late last week and she was feeling good enough to move around the hospital a bit and see friends and family.  They got an approved cadaver liver on Saturday, and the surgery went well.  Obviously the recovery is going to be significant, but she's pinking up and they're keeping a close eye on everything in the meantime.  She's doing great, getting more active around the hospital and keeping herself busy.  It's so miraculous and amazing.  Her mom said that her liver was so gray and rough-looking, which means she's been having damage for a long time.  But because she's an elite athlete, her body was compensating for it all this time.  She had zero symptoms while she was breaking swimming records and going to homecoming just a few weeks ago, until she had dark urine on Halloween.  To go from that to a transplant in less than three weeks is insane.  I hope she and her family can get some good therapy to process all of this, because I feel like any normal human would need that.  I keep putting myself in that position and can't even fathom it.  Carter's stuff felt jarring enough, and that built up over a solid couple months, with lesser suspicions of something (but maybe not UC) for many months prior to that.  I can't even imagine how they must be reeling from this, even though their faith is strong and they feel incredibly supported by the entire community.  More than 600 people signed up to be a living donor, and people around the world were commenting and sending messages of support.  Local news stations and social media accounts were sharing her story, too.  It was actually sort of surreal to see those things pop up on my feed, knowing they were there not because I was friends with her mom, but because the entire community was rallying around her.  Even Craig's cousin shared her story, not necessarily knowing I knew the family.  It's been such an amazing story, and I truly hope that the world gets to hear more of it (when and if they're ready) because it's so inspiring.  And Meredith is such an exceptional girl that I think it's likely she will take this experience and make the best of it somehow, whether it's raising awareness for organ donation or starting some sort of outreach program or something.  She's just that kind of girl--as is her mom, who was the winner of every essay or coloring contest as a kid.  No joke, her mom made it into the Rose Bowl Parade one year by winning a contest!  The family has felt so supported, which is great to see.  The road ahead is still long and complicated, no doubt, but I hope Meredith gets to resume normal-ish teenagerhood in time to enjoy the rest of her senior year.  For now they'll be in Pittsburgh for a couple more months, at least.

In other news, I almost had to host Thanksgiving dinner, but I think we've figured it out now.  With Craig's parents on the verge of a move, his brother just having moved, and the ongoing family dynamics being tricky, we were considering hosting both sets of parents.  My mom has been hinting that I should learn how to make a turkey, so I figured maybe this would have to be the year.  But the logistics of figuring it out myself felt precarious, and in the end I offered up coming in early to go through the full prep with my mom, making a few dishes myself, and having Craig's parents to their house.  It's a shorter drive and a higher probability of a delicious, calamity-free meal.  As long as we avoid politics, it should actually be really nice.  And then, maybe next year it can be at our house instead.  It'll be a little different than what we're used to (like one meal instead of two), but I think a quieter meal will be nice this year.  We did get an invite to Craig's brother's separately (although we don't actually even know where they're living right now--it's a long story).  We may go there for dinner, but suffice it to say that this is a bit of an unorthodox holiday and I'm a little worried about what others might look like on that side for the foreseeable future.  I said we should just tell them that as our Christmas gift we'd like them to work with a mediator to work out their issues so we can hopefully have better family gatherings down the road.  I'd rather not have to figure out how to fit in two separate gatherings (or three, with the extended family) on that side alone.  Word of advice: Avoid alcohol and cohabitating with your parents as an adult, as there's about a million ways things could go sideways.

As of Friday, Jacob is officially on break.  He's not back in school literally until December.  Lucky duck!  He will be staying pretty busy with basketball, though.  Carter has the standard three days, and because of my Thanksgiving dinner tutorial, I will have the same.  It's a bit mind-blowing that we're already to this time of year.  Part of me is eager to jump into the holidays, and part of me is already internally freaking out a bit.  There are certain decorations I can't wait to get out, and I love working from home with my Christmas tree on.  But I'm scared that my tree won't work this year, and I just know the decorating process is a lot.  I was half considering putting up my trees early if we were hosting Thanksgiving, but thankfully I don't have to worry about rushing that now--although I've been putting up my theme tree early the last couple years to give myself a head start.  Everything I need is already set aside in a separate bin, so it's a pretty quick and easy process, and it's an hour or two that I don't need to spend when I'm on to the rest of my decorating.  I've gotten a tiny head start on gift buying, with a few things under my belt, but I know I will have a long way to go!

Speaking of basketball, the season is almost upon us.  Practices have started and Jacob is slowly but surely working his way in.  This team will definitely be better than his old one, but it'll be an interesting thing to watch how they evolve.  About a week ago Jacob was back to thinking he wasn't going to be playing at all.  It was sort of caused by a misinterpretation of something his travel coach said, and it got Jacob thinking that it wasn't worth risking playing because his spring travel season is the big one.  But that's not at all what he meant, and everyone--from that coach to his trainer--is telling him he needs to play.  So, we'll see how it goes.  He's just not feeling confident yet.  His left leg still isn't as strong as he wants it to be, and he's probably lost a step or two from missing so much playing time.  But I know he'll get there.  It will definitely be a weird full-circle moment when it happens, to be back on that court for BK again, but I'm starting to get excited.  Nervous excited, but excited.

I did try this week to clear my mind via reorganizing.  I was so over the mess of shoes and other things that Jacob leaves in our dining room, as well as the iffy shoe racks we'd had to attempt to contain the mess.  They weren't getting used properly and looked terrible.  Then I found a really nice looking, modern shoe shelf with a couple drawers and a wood top on Amazon.  I got it for around $50, and it really does look nice.  With that in place, I moved the shoe rack that was in its spot to the corner of our entryway holding a bunch of other shoes, which fit there better than the four cube storage that was there before.  That moved back to the spot underneath our mail station/chalkboard where it started out before, but was replaced by an additional cheap-but-ultimately-unstable shoe rack, which has now been retired.  I got dollar store cubes drawers to clean up the random stuff stashed in there, which made a world of difference.  On Friday Jacob finally cleaned up a couple of his messes (I nearly heard angels sing, it's been so long), and if I can get him to utilize the new shoe shelf for more than a couple weeks, that will be a game-changer.  And if that area looks less chaotic, so will my brain be!  It's already been such a mood booster, which felt stupid until I realized that it's not necessarily the clutter itself that brings me down, but the constant reminder of things I should be doing better.  That's not fair to me, but it's the truth.  An added bonus is that the new rack has another surface to decorate, just in time for Christmas decor!  But for now it looks nice with a basket of fall flowers that's lived on my dining room table for years.  I put my still-thriving Aldi clearance mum in its place!

So far this weekend has been the continuation of the de-chaos-ing, from clearing off the table to cleaning up a couple more piles, to assembling Jacob's new computer chair and finally getting my new computer up and running.  My old one got super slow, Windows 10 was no longer supported, and the button busted off my CD drive, so it was time.  It arrived shortly before our Honey weekend and I just didn't have the time or energy to work on it then.  Then I kept putting it off, and now, finally, I'm working on transferring over all of my files.  It's a process, going 30-50 GB at a time, but I'll get there.  My other two goals of the weekend are to dust at least the main floor in preparation for Christmas decorations to come out next weekend, and to attempt to set up our new outdoor lights before it gets too cold.  I sort of impulse-bought a couple lighted spiral trees at Aldi because I've wanted something more and people really seemed to like these, and I finally figured out (I think) how to set up electricity for things beyond the porch.  And for $20 it was worth a shot.  So, we'll see how that goes.

Otherwise, I'm mentally planning for Thanksgiving, getting in as many walks as I can before the weather turns again (sad when low 40s is the "nice" weather), and wishing I had more than three days off this coming week.  Work is in a lull, but I still have a ton of stuff going on.  Craig is crazy busy, too, with the season coming quickly and their staff still getting up to speed.  It's made it a bit challenging to balance all of Jacob's needs, but we're managing.  Carter is doing great, feeling good and officially on to eight-week intervals between infusions.  It's a little scary, but he's done so great so far.  He's up at last 20-25 pounds since early September.  He's almost as tall as me and becoming more teenager-y by the day.  It's going to be an interesting stretch coming up, and I guess I'm doing my one last deep breath before the holiday (and basketball) roller coaster starts again.

Peak Fall

Last month when the boys had a four-day weekend, I got a bit nostalgic thinking about my beloved fall breaks in college.  For some reason, that was my favorite break of the year.  I think it was a combination of being in the sweet spot of the semester (so homework was manageable), the lovely fall foliage-filled drive home, and the prospect of seeing friends and family for what might be the first time that semester.  Good food, a comfortable bed, and a change of scenery for four days felt mighty good every time.  Thanksgiving was typically colder, and both Thanksgiving and Spring breaks tended to be heavier on the homework.  Thanksgiving was only about a week or two out from finals, and Spring break was a week long and I guess they figured it was too long to not have work to do.  Christmas and Summer were nice because of their duration and complete lack of homework, but that also meant the expectation was to get a job if possible.  So, fall break was really the best of the bunch, and I still get a little adrenaline rush thinking of my excitement packing up on those Friday afternoons in early-to-mid-October.  I was always worried about missing the best fall views in Geneseo, but thankfully I think plenty was still waiting for me upon my return.

All of that got me thinking about other fall traditions and memories, too.  I don't actually think I've dived into those here all together, though I've maybe referenced them in relevant posts.  Now, as we head into the darkest part of fall and all the golden, leaf-filled, Indian Summer days are past, I suppose it's time for a reminder that other parts of fall are the lovely trade-off for late fall's blahs.  So, let's do a deep dive.

Bazaars - One of my most enduring memories of fall is church bazaars.  I still purposely go home sometimes to make it to one or another.  Our old church's is a shell of its former self, but it still brings back memories and is a good chance to say hi to people or make the old ladies feel older...haha.  My mom's childhood church still does theirs as well, and I have fond memories of going there on Saturdays with my mom and grandma, browsing, and then eating lunch.  But my St. Matthew memories are the strongest.  It was in the church basement where we usually ate school lunch, so that Friday was always notable for eating lunch in our classroom and knowing there was fun to be had immediately after school.  My mom was usually working down there, so I could run down after school and start shopping.  My grandma (other one this time) ran the Green Thumb booth, and I always stopped there to say hi (and get slipped a $5 bill for my own shopping--she was the best!).  I'd usually buy a tiny plant from my grandma, stop at the candy stand, maybe shop the tchotchkes at the Sunday School bookstore booth, browse the attic treasures (think garage sale), and of course make a themed button at the button booth.  You'd decorate a paper circle--either color in a black and white Xerox copy of a picture, or add a sticker, and they'd put the plastic cover over and stamp it together.  I had so many over the years of favorite characters, and later school spirit ones to add to my cheerleading uniform.  It was one of those rare times as a kid where it was okay to roam and shop unattended, and the independence was downright intoxicating.  

Fall Leaves - Some of my best adult fall memories are from my fall hikes, some with Carter, some without.  I do remember going to Letchworth as a kid, and that was a memorable fall moment.  But mostly I remember playing in the leaves.  At our old house, I remember the thing to do with friends was make leaf "houses" by pushing the piles of leaves into outlines of "rooms".  Seems simplistic and I'm not even sure where we went with that once they were built (did we "play house?"), but it felt like the cool thing to do once you felt too old (no such thing, in reality) to jump into leaf piles.  But my hikes are probably my favorite, and I look back on my pictures fondly.

Letchworth when I was a kid

Baby Jacob's first time playing in leaves

From our last hike at Stony Brook in 2022

College - Speaking of Letchworth, I recall a Sunday evening back in my freshman year of college where we decided on a whim to go to Letchworth.  It was me, Mary, our friend Gina, her roommate Jill, and another dormmate, Lissa.  I think we were all itching for a good procrastination device, and Gina had a car.  So we hopped in, headed to the park, and got a couple pictures of the dam before it got too dark and we had to leave.  Of course, that wasn't my favorite college memory of Letchworth--that one was in the spring when I (stupidly, naively) went up on the railroad bridge with friends during a picnic and captured a very cool shot over the waterfall.  But that fall night felt like the epitome of college life--being independent and skipping studying in the best ways possible.  There was something oddly cozy about the fall semester at college.  Coming back to our room on a rainy afternoon and taking a nap, the rush of getting up at the crack of dawn to register for classes in-person, going to breakfast in the dark in December, and that fantastic feeling of finishing your last exam before going home for Christmas.  I always felt so at home in my dorm rooms, and fall was the best time to snuggle in.

The view of the dam from that night in college

My favorite spot for a cozy nap

Hockey - While it has been less of a thing lately, I have a lot of fall memories tied to hockey.  From training camp starting in mid-September, which I often went to with my cousin, to getting to my first Sabres game of the year sometime in the fall, to my very busy fall seasons when I worked for the Amerks, it will likely forever be tied to this season for me.  I fell in love with hockey in October nearly 35 years ago (wait, what?!), and one of my best memories was coming home from college to go to the Sabres' home opener in their new arena.  That was such an amazing experience, even if I was crushed the prior spring when the old one closed.  There was nothing quite like a crisp fall evening heading to the arena for a game.  I'm a little sad that working in sports took the edge off that feeling for me, but once in a while I can feel it again.    

While this picture was one of my most prized possessions, it's also a bit cringe because it was my fangirl self getting my picture taken with one of my favorite Sabres at training camp.  I thought he was SO hot.  But my cousin could drive us there, so that felt pretty darn cool.

Walking into the arena for the first game in 1996!

Halloween - Halloween as a kid was the best.  I always had creative and/or cobbled together costumes, usually from my grandma's craft stash or my mom's sewing machine, and there were few things more fun than our classroom parties, seeing everyone's costumes and eating treats.  Trick-or-treating was usually fun, but weather is always a factor around here!  I remember at least one rainy year, and being rather chilly.  I'm not sure anything compared to this year's cold, wind, and rain, though!  I've loved watching my kids go through Halloween, too.  I know we're coming down to the end of it, but I have good memories of fun costumes, creative jack o'lanterns, and cute baby pics with baby pumpkins.  Speaking of pumpkins, I feel like pumpkin patches were less of a thing when I was a kid--in fact, I only remember going to one when I was in Brownies.  But what I do remember was going to our local farmer's market, usually as part of a school field trip (where we walked probably a mile there and back!) to pick up classroom pumpkins, and sometimes we'd each get a small one of our own.  We'd also buy ingredients for a cooking project, like apple crisp or Stone Soup (per the children's book of the same name).  That was always so much fun.  I'm honestly not even sure where we got our pumpkins for home when I was a kid--maybe a separate trip to the market, or maybe a roadside stand somewhere?  Or maybe my mom picked one out without us?  But I do remember always carving our pumpkins as a family, and that's probably why I keep doing it despite less-than-participatory kids these days.  Oh, and two of my very favorite memories involve being a spectator!  The first year we owned a house, I was all excited to give out candy.  However, my grandma died right before Halloween, and I had to be in Buffalo that night.  I remember sitting on my parents' porch on a very mild night with my mom and brother as my mom gave out candy, and we watched the neighbor scare kids by popping out of a coffin on his porch.  A year or two later, on another really nice night, I sat outside and watched a neighbor at our house do the same thing.  It was hilarious!

My mom absolutely outdid herself that year!  I think I was four.

Craig's and my first trip to Stokoe Farm in 2007...and also one of the first pictures of me pregnant, although we didn't know it yet.

All-time favorite Halloween pic of the kids

Trips - Fall has been the time of a few really fun trips.  In addition to the late leaf peeping hikes I've done en route to Binghamton, there was my Chihuly trip a few days before I found out I was pregnant with Jacob, our trip to Atlanta when I was pregnant with Carter, and our fun Baltimore trip for lacrosse eight years ago.  The Chihuly trip to Pittsburgh was what officially launched my obsession, although another exhibit 10 Novembers earlier during a college Thanksgiving break was the actual beginning of my fandom.  I loved that trip but slept terribly and came home completely exhausted.  Who knew that was my first sign of pregnancy?  Finding out I was pregnant two days later and dealing with those first few weeks was a whole other type of fall memory--very bittersweet for a lot of reasons.  While we were thrilled, I was also terrified, nauseous, and hated living a double life before we felt comfortable telling people.  That had to be the longest November ever.  Atlanta was a somewhat impulsive trip to get Craig to see Chipper Jones before he retired. It was a pretty cool trip, between the zoo, the Cyclorama, a Braves game, exploring the Olympic park, and going to our first Legoland Discovery Center.  Baltimore was one of the first family trips where we actually felt functional despite the sibling rivalry and general behavior challenges we had back then.  We had a full day of fun before a long, cold lacrosse weekend--Camden Yards, Fort McHenry, the Inner Harbor, and the aquarium.  It was quite a day, and probably was the first the trip that gave me hope we could vacation peacefully again after a few really tough years.  Our first family Raptors game was in the fall, too, although very late--close enough to visit a Christmas market!  Technically, we did two fall Disney trips, too--but one was closer to summer and the other was closer to winter, so I won't count them!

A Chihuly in Pittsburgh

Jacob and (halfway pregnant) me in Atlanta

The boys at Camden Yards (look how tiny!)

The jellyfish I was obsessed with at the aquarium

At the Christmas market in the Distillery district

Thanksgiving - Thanksgiving is obviously a special kind of family time.  I miss the dinners with my aunt, uncle and grandma.  Some years we ate at our house, some at my uncle's, but all were delicious.  I still look back fondly on our early Thanksgivings with Craig's family, sharing what we were thankful for and cozying in for the evening to do some online Black Friday shopping.  Things have evolved and this year is a complete question mark on that side because of family dynamics and Craig's parents' move, so that's a bit of a bummer.  On my family's side, I think back to being a kid and hating that every Thanksgiving eve was spent at church (inexplicably still in my skirt from chapel day at school because my mom wouldn't let me change) because we needed to rehearse for the big service the next morning.  Thanksgiving morning's service was a production--from the food pantry donations being brought to the altar and the "Scenes of Thanks" slide show shown throughout the service with church and school pictures from the last year, to the giant flag backing the altar that was dramatically raised mid-service and the massive chorus on the altar at the end (all choirs, school included) being directed by the pastor from a special stand placed in the aisle.  It was a LOT, but it somehow worked.  This year Thanksgiving falls on what would have been my grandma's 101st birthday.  I've been thinking about her a lot.  Sometimes we'd celebrate her birthday on Thanksgiving eve with cake--just what we needed before a giant meal!  But when I was a teenager, I loved Thanksgiving eve because there was always a Sabres game!

Based on what I'm wearing, this was more than likely a Thanksgiving eve, complete with a couple cousins home from college

I know there's more memories buried in my brain and my photos, but these were some of the big ones from a lifetime of autumns.  It was fun to look back at some of these old pictures and think about things I haven't thought about in a while.  Life is changing and so much of what fall looks like now is so different from what made past ones special.  We're still making our own memories (World Series, anyone?), and they may feel a world away from some of these, but I'm grateful for each and every one.

Heavy

This week has felt so heavy.  I don't know if it's being compounded by the early sunset post-time change, or what, but I am just feeling everything so heavily this week.  My empath meter feels off the charts, and it's exhausting.

Election Day was Wednesday.  I decided to vote despite it being an off year because our town supervisor race was on the ballot and I felt pretty strongly that I didn't want one guy there.  The guy I voted for won, which was good, but the more interesting revelation from the day is that there was a giant, very clear Blue Wave, locally and across the country.  Just a year after a very strong Republican outing, Democrats dominated.  They took over areas that had been red for years.  Heck, even that town supervisor race marked the first time a democrat has won that position in over 100 years.  Maybe Republicans got complacent because they're content with what's happening right now, but this seemed like a very clear message that many people are NOT happy with the current state of affairs.  And even though that's not a surprise, I think seeing those results coming from so many areas made it all really hit home how bad people are feeling right now.  Even though we're generally okay, knowing so many others are struggling is hard.

The government is in the midst of its longest shutdown ever.  Republicans blame Democrats, saying they're doing it because they want to give illegal immigrants free healthcare.  Now, illegal immigrants aren't even eligible for free healthcare, so that's a lie.  Democrats say they're holding out because the Affordable Care Act subsidies are about to expire and premiums are going to be unaffordable, so they need to use this as a bargaining chip.  Meanwhile, government employees are not getting paid, SNAP funding has been cut off (despite court orders to fund it), people are being detained by ICE agents for no reason, and the White House has had one wing knocked down (without proper approvals) to build a $300 million dollar ballroom.  The rich get richer and the wealth gap increases.  People are facing down serious suffering, and at least one side doesn't seem to care very much.

I struggle because people I like and respect are on social media perpetuating easily debunked lies about the shutdown, or defending things that would have been unthinkable even 10 years ago.  The hypocrisy is staggering at times.  For example, there was so much criticism about President Biden's health being kept secret, but here we are with a President that has a perpetually bruised hand and swollen legs, seems to be wearing a catheter, and had a "routine" MRI (which isn't actually a thing).  He goes on social media rants that can only be described as incoherent rambling and falls asleep routinely during meetings, so many suspect dementia is hitting hard.  I take a lot of it with a grain of salt, but the evidence does seem to be mounting.  Or this week, California approved a proposition for redistricting, which was a direct response to Trump having Texas and a number of other states redistrict ahead of the midterms to increase Republican seats.  But of course, Trump called California's illegal and insinuated the elections there were fraudulent.  But he's literally telling red states to do the exact same thing.  Like...what?

I think what's been so mentally difficult for me is that it feels like we're constantly being gaslit.  Trump will talk about how prices are down and the economy is better under him, but the facts (and people's lived experience) don't support it.  Things are expensive and about to get worse because healthcare costs are skyrocketing for everyone, not just ACA folks.  They insist ICE is taking criminals off the streets, but there are so many stories about legal citizens being detained in horrible ways and that the actual percentage of criminals is low.  We're attacking and killing people on boats near South America, claiming that they're drug boats, but there's been no evidence presented of that.  There's an elected Congressperson who they're refusing to swear in because she represents the last vote needed to release the Epstein Files, which will incriminate the President and a number of other prominent folks on both sides.  It seems every day they say something that is a clear lie, and we're just supposed to accept it?  It's getting hard to not feel like you're going crazy when so many people are still supporting this administration despite so much damning evidence.  I have come to the conclusion that hardcore Republicans must be living a different reality thanks to Fox News and others, so they literally DO believe these lies.  That makes it hard to debate when they are told we're the ones making things up.  

The funny thing is that I was a lifelong Republican until Trump came along, and now I feel like the party is so unrecognizable that I'm not even sure where I would fall if things all went back to normal.  I feel like the Left pushes a lot of things way too far, but so much of what I'm seeing from the Right is so unfathomable that I feel like I can't get on board with that at all.  I feel like this week's Blue Wave is honestly less about policy and more about having a legitimate fear that any Republican candidate is a Trumper and shares the same extreme views.  If someone had a good platform and was an old-school Republican, I probably wouldn't hesitate to vote for them.  In fact, I'd love to scour the platforms of Republican candidates that have disavowed Trump to see what they have to offer.  But it's been so long since I've seen one that I have no idea whether it would resonate anymore, or whether my perspectives have changed so much that it would still feel too different.

The other funny thing is that most logical Americans, regardless of party, want the same thing.  I've seen some things that illustrate how we're all not that far off from each other, especially if we talk it through one-on-one, rather than lump everyone into a dehumanized stereotype.  The struggle is that we see very different routes to get to what we all want.  One side wants to bolster social programs, the other side wants to "teach a man to fish" so they can better help themselves.  One side wants common-sense gun laws to keep us safer, the other side talks about the Right to Bear Arms and how those weapons can make us safer.  Usually the best option for everybody is somewhere in between, but God forbid we figure out how to compromise.  We all want our country to thrive, but can't agree on how we do that.  

I've said many times that my problem with the current administration isn't so much WHAT it's doing (although sometimes it is), but rather HOW it's doing it.  Take the White House, for example.  I can absolutely see where a ballroom would be better than tents on the lawn, but making one that's so expensive and is nearly double the size of the rest of the White House, while tearing down a historical wing without proper approvals?  Ummm...no.  Illegal immigration has been an issue here, for sure, but ICE going into homes and schools like renegades and dragging people out, even if they have legal residency?  Or are actually citizens with the wrong skin color?  Or are children?  Or going to actual legal immigration hearings and violently detaining people who "did it the right way"?  That's just not the way to do it.  DOGE was supposed to cut wasteful spending, which is obviously something we should want, but the way they just went in and cut entire departments without understanding their purpose, or used their own flawed perceptions to say something wasn't needed (like anything related to DEI) is just thoughtless.  Research funding has been cut across the board because it was deemed wasteful, but some of those studies are extremely important to those suffering from diseases.  Studies that may not seem useful or relevant are actually building blocks for bigger-picture studies, but no one is taking the time to really dig into that.  There are unqualified, inexperienced people in roles they should never have, and it's showing.

It seems like every day there's a new news story or speech that boggles the mind.  I've tried explaining to my kids that almost every day, something happens that would have been career-ending for most politicians, but now people just shrug and make excuses.  You could go days or weeks without hearing from the President.  Not anymore.  It's turned into a total circus, and our foreign counterparts can't believe what they're seeing.  And as a Christian, I'm gutted by what Christian Nationalism has done to others' perception of religion.  Instead of being known for love and joy, outsiders see hate, exclusion, and illogical, cult-like devotion.  They see hypocrisy.  Jesus said to help the poor and immigrants, and this group claims faith while doing the exact opposite.  My brain just can't comprehend how we got here.  We're just so divided, and our own President (who they will defend and insist was put in place by God) has readily admitted to hating his enemies and only wants to govern for his own followers.  It's crazy.  I do think it's gotten so extreme that some are finally seeing the light (or at least questioning why prices haven't gone down), but it's probably not enough.  I hate to think how bad it will get before enough people realize how far off we've gone.

On a more personal note, part of the downside of the Blue Wave meant that Craig's brother lost his election to keep the Town Clerk spot he inherited when Craig's mom was named Town Supervisor.  He was very qualified for the position after working in the office for years, but the Democratic party turned on him and he had to run as a Republican, which likely hurt him in the end, in addition to some bad press and talks of nepotism.  He was also quite ill this week, so with that, the loss, and upcoming unknowns with his living situation when Craig's parents' new house is done in another month, it's a lot all at once.  I feel terribly for him.

Also this week, the daughter of a high school friend of mine has been hospitalized with sudden acute liver failure.  She's Jacob's age, healthy and about to be a D-I athlete, and suddenly is ill with a life-threatening condition that doctors took days to start gaining ground on.  She transferred to a hospital a few hours away to get better specialists.  It started to look like she'd need a transplant.  Thankfully living donors are typically easier to come by--and I did fill out the form--but after a biopsy determined that her liver is actually not that damaged, they think it's an infection and something called Wilson's disease.  They believe her liver will recover, but it's still going to be a long road, I think.  As a parent who's been through a few medical mysteries, a couple life-changing diagnoses, and enough anxiety to end up medicated, I'm just heartbroken because I can't imagine all that they're going through.  The sudden shock of something like that literally changes your brain chemistry, and I can't stop thinking about or praying for them.

After a couple weeks just feeling a bit down in the muck and very distracted, I vowed to myself that I needed to have a productive weekend.  I had so many things I'd been putting off or simply had to do (like open enrollment for our health insurance), and made my usual impossible-to-ignore to-do list heading into the weekend.  I forced myself to get a good head start Friday with a bunch of cleaning, laundry, and cleaning up piles and surfaces.  Today I had to do some running around with Jacob, but still managed to do the open enrollment, more laundry, and more cleaning.  Tomorrow I need to sort through the hand-me-downs to check for more clothes for Carter.  I have a couple more things I could work on, too, but that's the last big one.  It's progress, at least. 

Thanksgiving is in 2-1/2 weeks and I can't even begin to wrap my brain around decorating or present-buying.  People seem to be doing COVID-era early decorating again this year.  It's been more of a thing since then, but I feel like there is just a shameless push to decorate early this year.  As soon as Halloween was over, the trees were up.  It's probably because people are at a COVID-level of stress once again, due to all of the above, but it's giving me extra stress as a result.  Just thinking about dragging out all of my bins is tiring me out.  I love my decorations once they're up, but it's a lot of work.  I'm also worried about my tree, as the lights were starting to misbehave last year and I'm worried about what might happen when I pull it out this year.  Let's just say I'm savoring my turkey decor right now!

So, the beginning of November has been a lot, but on the bright side, I guess this usually-slow month is flying by already, so maybe I can't complain.  Although it is going to snow this week and there isn't even a hint of Indian Summer in the extended forecast, so I guess fall gave it up early and winter is taking over a little ahead of schedule.  Maybe it'll get me in the Christmas mood sooner then?  Just a couple more weeks before things get real...

The Rest of the Week

So...once we got back from Toronto at 4am, we had a nice "nap" before Craig had to go to work and I had to start cooking pork.  Even though I was going to go back to bed after I got it set up, I didn't, so it was a pretty sleepy Saturday.  Carter had his last game of the season in the early afternoon, which they won.  I'm so proud of how he played this season.  Now on to travel and hopefully Modified in the spring.

From there we went to Lori's house for our family Oktoberfest.  It was fun to see Honey after a week apart, and she was happy to see me.  Not quite a jump initially, but she did hop up on my leg when I bent down to pet her.  But it was funny how when Kevin and Lori walked someone out to their car, she immediately defaulted back to me as her person.  We had a nice time with family, even though it was cold and a bit drizzly, which left us stuck mostly inside.

Tuesday was my endoscopy.  I'd booked it a while back since I hadn't had one in quite a few years, and I know my reflux has been hanging in there.  I noticed it creep up after I started my Zoloft, and even though I've been taking omeprazole, lately I've had what they call globus sensation, where it feels like you have something stuck in your throat.  It's not so much as choking sensation as it is feeling like a piece of food getting caught on a flap of skin or something.  Water doesn't really help, but liquid antacid has, so I think it's some sort of acid-induced esophageal spasm.  I'd had something like that years ago, and while this feels different, I think it's similar in cause.  But since I know two people around my age who have been diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer in the last few months, I wasn't about to mess around.  I had to stop eating at midnight and stop drinking after 6am, but my appointment wasn't until noon.  That made for a long morning.  I distracted myself with some work and then got ready.  It's a relatively quick procedure, but I did have to wait a while once I was back in the room.  By all accounts, they didn't see anything of concern, although I'm obviously still waiting for the pathology to come back.  But that was encouraging, at least.  Now if that issue would stop, that would be even better.  I had a very lazy rest of the day, though.  One long nap and a very chill evening, at least until I realized I only had 3,000 steps and had to get up to 6,000 because of my Walktober thing.  I hadn't missed a day yet, and I didn't want to start with just a few days left in the month.  So, I did a leisurely basement bike ride and secured my steps for the day.

I also realized late that night that my office Halloween was the following day.  I had thought about what I wanted to do, but the theme was weird and I got caught up in the Jays game and anticipating the endoscopy, and forgot to do anything about it.  I decided that I could maybe wear a black dress and run to Walmart in the morning to grab the materials to do the little Pinterest project I had been eyeballing.  I checked in the morning that what I needed was in stock, and headed out.  I got exactly what I needed (along with a couple things from home), and started working on it at my desk.  It was a little more complicated than I thought, but I got it done.  Elsewhere in the office, the committee had done their thing.  The theme was the Addams Family.  That was more complicated than the open-ended themes we'd had before (garden, under the sea), hence my hesitation on what to do.  But they did a great job.

As for me, my project was a Cousin Itt out of a Halloween bucket and lots of yarn.  I made the hat out of felt.  The sight of it cracked me up every time!

I also found some black gauze on my shopping trip and cut it up to drape on my arms and tie on my waist to extend my dress.  That made it look a bit creepier, at least.

On Thursday night I felt like I was running around like a maniac, and I had to carve our pumpkin late in the evening.  Luckily I knew what I wanted to do, and I was able to execute it pretty easily.  Appropriate, right?

Carter had been going back and forth about Halloween, and it intensified with the idea that the weather was going to be uncooperative.  We did try to go out and find a costume, but we wanted something that wasn't too expensive and would continue to fit Carter next year, as he wanted it for his Halloween concert next year (more on that in a minute), and I know he's going to grow.  We just couldn't find anything, but figured if he really wanted to go out, we could cobble something together.

In all the excitement about the Jays' game, I forgot to talk about Carter's concert the previous week.  It was a Halloween-themed concert with the 7th and 8th grade band and orchestra, as well as the high school band and orchestra, plus a couple specialty groups as well.  Everyone performed a song individually, and then they all came on stage to do one song at the end.  The songs were all sort of "creepy" themed, and the musicians could wear costumes!  I'd say at least half did, which was entertaining at times--like when the one conductor looked like Bills coach Sean McDermott, or the student in one of those inflatable t-rex costumes!  

The performances--especially the high school ones--were amazing, and when everyone was up there together (over 300 students!), it was so awesome.  It was similar to how I've felt about String Festival in the the spring with all the middle and elementary orchestras performing together.  The finale was "Thriller", and it was great!

Well, when Halloween arrived, the weather all day was awful.  Windy, rainy, and cold.  And it only got worse as the day went on.  Carter decided he didn't want to go out in that.  Since we had a little time to kill before trick-or-treaters, we decided to check out the new Boscov's store at the mall, which was on day 2 of its grand opening.  They had totally transformed the mall, essentially slicing it in two and replacing a third of the one wing with a store that went the width of what was once a hallway, center court, an anchor space, and probably close to a dozen storefronts.  I wasn't sure what to expect based on what I had seen from the outside, so it was so disorienting walking directly into a full, giant store.  It was even weirder peeking out the mall entrances (one that was extremely small) and realizing how much mall got taken over.  One side pretty much just has a Dick's, Barnes & Noble, and maybe four other spaces (plus an anchor space that houses a storage place--I don't even know if there's interior access to that one).  It was strange going to the other side that accesses the rest of the mall and seeing it essentially dead end with an anchor store entrance.  At least Auntie Anne's was saved!  And of course, Carter guilted me into getting him some since he wasn't going out that night.  But the store was cool, and we had fun doing a little Peanuts-themed scavenger hunt and getting some treats.  I actually bought Carter a pair of pants, a Christmas gift for Jacob, and some BOGO candy from their candy section.  Carter liked these guys in the toy section (as if we needed any more stuffies!).  

We also got to meet Snoopy!

We came out to an absolute monsoon of a night, which only solidified Carter's decision.  But, we did see some brave trick-or-treaters!

My mood exactly...

I was a little sad that Carter didn't go out for his sake, and it was a bit weird to not do it for the first time in 16 years(!), but I didn't want to go out in that either!  Carter said he was "redshirting", so he intends to go out next year.  We'll see, I guess.  Jacob missed his last year because he was waiting on a COVID test (back in the day where you didn't go out until you knew), and just decided not to do it the next year, so I suppose it would be oddly appropriate if this was how Carter's run ended.  The rest of the night was spent watching a disappointing Game Six, which the Jays lost to force a Game Seven.  Boo, indeed.

On Saturday morning we picked up Honey the dog for another few days since Lori and Kevin were going out of town to watch her niece play volleyball.  It was a lazy Saturday as a result--lots of cozy couch time.  But that night was stressful with Game Seven.  The Jays had the lead for most of the game, but after a handful of heartbreaking missteps and a couple extra innings, they lost.  We were SO bummed.  It really stung, especially after all the hope of Game One and all of the wonderful stories that should have come out of a Jays win, including our local Rochester native who was stellar in the playoffs and the rookie pitcher that broke all the records.  It was heartbreaking way to lose, to be so close--literally an inch in one case.  And poor Honey not only had to deal with our outbursts, but also had to nap on the couch way past her bedtime!

The rest of the weekend was a balance between lazy and productive.  Honey was with us through Monday, so I worked from home to stay with her.  At lunch time we went out for a bit in between rainstorms and she somehow managed to roll in poop.  Since it was in the backyard I'm assuming it was hers from last time, maybe from when we had her on the lead and maybe missed her going?  It was a different color than deer poop, at least.  I caught it quick but she still managed to get a bunch wedged under her collar.  I did my best to get her right in the house, rinse off the collar, and wipe her down, but apparently she still smelled like poop.  I tried, but I was not about to do a full bath, being completely inexperienced in pet bathing and in the middle of a work day.  Of course, she was not enjoying the cleanup and knew she was in trouble, so she kept trying to escape and hop on the bed or on the couch, which I obviously wanted to avoid.  It was even harder when I took the collar off because then I had nothing to grab!  She never went to those places without me, so I knew she knew she was in trouble!  Despite the smell, Carter managed to keep her happy when I went out for a couple hours to chauffeur Jacob around.  She had her second leash-twisting meeting of the day with Jack from around the corner (the feisty brother of Beethoven, who was a bit skittish last time), and while she wasn't immediately looking out the window for me when I left (I think she was still mad about the cleaning), she was looking for me when I came back.  Thankfully she got picked up before the crazy thunderstorms that night got too bad.  The first rumbles of thunder had her growling!  She was, of course, thrilled to see her people, and I was texted a picture of a wet dog shortly thereafter!

So, all's well (enough) and back to normal now.  Craig was gone for a couple days for work, we're all a bit sniffly, but it could be dog allergies, and Jacob's basketball coach got fired last week, so that's been an interesting wrinkle.  Obviously hoping whoever gets hired is a good fit.  More to come soon, but never a dull moment around here, that's for sure!