Lately we've had a rather odd turn of events. Jacob no longer loves lacrosse. He's okay with it, I guess, but for the most part he's just sort of over it. I never thought I'd see the day. I think a lot is playing into it, and I think it's mostly just temporary, but to some degree, I guess I get it.
First, he's a bit burned out. Fall lacrosse started in November and he's been playing games and going to practices almost every weekend since. He may have even had travel practice before that because of his fall tournament in Maryland. He switched to a different house team this year, and for the most part it was fine, but there have been moments where I could tell he was frustrated with lack of playing time or opportunities. He's never loved practices, and now they're up to twice per week for his house team. He still likes his travel team, but again, practices are not his favorite--particularly because they fall on Sunday afternoons and like the rest of us, he'd rather just be home enjoying himself. Luckily we're done with those for a bit before his training camp the first weekend of June, then tournaments for all but one weekend for the month that follows. I should also mention that he's also spent a lot of Saturdays doing ball boy duty for the Knighthawks, which only added to the overload. It got to the point where he didn't even want to go to games at the end of the regular season. It's been a long stretch, no doubt.
Second, he's really into basketball right now. The Toronto Raptors are in the NBA playoffs and he's desperate to get a hoop for his birthday. I'm fine with getting him one, though we're sort of deadlocked about the type--in-ground (him) vs. portable (us) and how fancy it should be. We'll see. He really wants to play on a basketball team whenever we can find one, which may mean he no longer plays lacrosse in the fall. You wouldn't think that liking basketball means he has to stop liking lacrosse, but Jacob is very black and white about a lot of things, and this is another one. Apparently his passion has to focus in one spot, and in order to demonstrate that he must shun any competitors. Think about his all-Under Armour wardrobe (or Adidas before that), or any other sports phase he's been in. It's nothing new, but given his long-time dedication to lacrosse at this point, it's been a little shocking.
I still wonder if there's anything else playing into it. Maybe he hit his high point with the trip to Calgary and he didn't know where to go from there. Maybe it's a touch of depression in the midst of a tough year of school and the usual trials at home. Maybe it's even just savoring spending a little more time with me, as our Trading Spaces viewings on Saturday evenings have been nice. He's mentioned that his confidence is down (or, rather, blamed me), so maybe that's part of it, too. To be fair, I've said things over the past months to try to keep him realistic, but maybe he didn't take it that way. It's not that I want to crush his dreams, but he's often tended to move into a space where he practically assumes he'll play pro someday, and while that's certainly a possibility, he has a long way to go. Sometimes he's deemed himself one of the best players on his teams, but in reality, most of the time he's probably teetering around the bottom third--maybe a little higher for his house team. He's always had really good stick skills, but he's actually not as fast or agile on the field as would be ideal, so sometimes those skills don't translate as well. So, I've said things in the past--most often when he was complaining about practice or another player--that the success he wants isn't going to magically happen because his natural talent just isn't that strong. He has a great foundation, but he will need to work for everything he gets. He needs to focus and embrace practice as an opportunity to improve. And whether he just heard it differently or got intimidated, I don't know. Clearly something is up. So, come fall, we'll be looking into basketball leagues. Of course, he'll be fresh off a summer of playing basketball every day at camp, so who knows if he'll reach burnout levels on that, too.
We were really pushing for him to play fall lacrosse because he'd be with a friend of his who's a year older, and we wondered how we'd fit two sports in at that time. Well, over the weekend that problem may have solved itself. We arrived to his first house game of the season on a cold, rainy morning. We noticed that a bunch of players were missing, and by a few minutes into the game the wheels were turning and the pieces started falling into place. First there was last week's practice. Jacob ended up practicing with some younger kids, and he was pretty annoyed about it. We thought it was just because some other players didn't show up and numbers were off. But with the absence of teammates and a bunch of smaller-looking, unfamiliar kids on the team, we realized that the team he played with all winter must have split. Then we heard some other parents talking about it, and the grim reality sank in as Jacob's old team--who we destroyed in the winter season--won by over 15 goals. We figured out that most of the older players had gone to the other team, and there were only a handful of them left on this team, along with a bunch of 1/2 players--meaning that there were players as much as three years younger! Not only is it dangerous for those little kids to play up, but their skills were definitely not up to the task. They could barely pass and catch, and when you're in a league where you need to complete a pass before the ball is eligible to be scored, that makes scoring really tough. And sure enough, they only scored a handful in their first game, and got shut out in the second game (which may have been because one of their best offensive players went in goal). It didn't help it was rainy and miserable, but once we figured out what had happened, all hope was lost for a good day. We later recalled that there was an email talking about the teams splitting, but it was vague and did not make it clear who was staying and going. Since we never heard anything specific, we sort of forgot about it and never noticed that the roster changed.
The thing is, it's not about losing. That's no fun, but losing that bad is even worse. The bigger issue is that the younger kids can't even compete, and there is very little growth to be had for the older kids when they don't have anyone to finish their plays. It's just not good for anyone. Upon further investigation, the coach explained that some of the team decisions had to do with siblings and ride sharing. He said that the team wasn't supposed to be significantly worse, but that he kept Jacob on that team because they needed a few good players. We're not really buying it, but we're doing our best to remind him that he can prove he's better than this, and that he can mentor the younger kids and hopefully find a way to be helpful. Heck, maybe he'll even play goal! Luckily it's a short season so we won't have to dwell on this for too long. Ironically, the other team lost both of their first games, too, so perhaps they're worse than we thought--but how does one really good team become two bad ones?
Anyway, that may have just made up our minds for the fall. In the meantime, we've got another exciting travel season ahead, so hopefully Jacob will rediscover his love by then. We've also got Knighthawks playoffs coming up, so maybe that will rekindle something too, even if it means losing Craig for a few more weeks. I don't think lacrosse is gone for good, but perhaps a little break isn't the worst thing in the world.
Monday, April 30, 2018
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
What Happens When It Gets Warm
Sunday was a beautiful day. One week earlier I was walking through the frozen leftovers of an ice storm, and a week later I was in short sleeves and capris. Welcome to spring in Rochester...finally.
I decided I needed to give running a shot since the Corporate Challenge registration ends this week, so I planned to go out Sunday. Jacob has been wanting to run with me since last year, and although it was just a little while before his lacrosse practice, he insisted on coming with me. We planned on running a mile. We started off around the block and of course he had to stop and tie his shoes two or three times (because he's almost 10 and still can't tie a solid shoe knot). But each time he would catch up, and I could tell he was relieved when my running app said we were halfway. We continued to run, and I'll admit it was nice to chat with him while we ran. Nothing deep, I suppose, but I think he appreciated the time alone.
As we turned the corner back toward home, he ran ahead of me. I was definitely pacing myself, though I was really tired so while I could have sprinted and kept up with him, I chose to not kill myself on the first run of the year! He seemed to like beating me, even though we never indicated it was a race. Whatever...it was fine. Of course, he came in the house and collapsed on the chair, insisting he couldn't move. He usually hates practice so perhaps that was part of his plan.
While he wallowed, Carter was ready to go outside. Well, he was actually ready to go outside when Jacob and I left, and even started chasing us a minute into our run! I had to yell to him to go home, because I knew he wouldn't make the mile and I didn't want Jacob mad when his mile got messed up. I also needed to run the mile to see just how out of shape I was, so I promised to run with him later. See, Carter has been wanting to race me all winter. He loves running and he's pretty speedy. For some reason he was sure that he could beat me.
We started running down the street. About five houses down, he took a rest. He sprinted again and took another rest. He did that a couple more times and we finally made it down the street, probably a quarter mile. It appears he's a sprinter rather than a distance runner, but we'll work on it. I do want to keep an eye on him for asthma since Craig has it and he breathes pretty heavy when he runs, but so far so good. We started back and took a couple breaks, but finally we headed back home to our finish line, made up by Craig and Jacob (who apparently made a miraculous recovery). I guess we ended in a tie. At least that ensured he wouldn't gloat or cry!
Once the big boys were off to practice, Carter jumped back into his favorites while I started some baby steps of winter yard cleanup, since I'm now playing catch-up with the late spring. He was excited to get back to his bubble gun and bubble mower, and eagerly rode around on his big wheel. One time he came running back to the driveway dragging a giant stick. Then he brought back another and had a blast playing with them. It was one of those simple moments of childhood where a huge stick is the coolest thing ever.
Creativity is one of his strong suits, and that continued into the back yard when I went back there and started cleaning up the monumental mess of a pile of sticks I accidentally left back there in the fall. The ground in the way back is super muddy, so everything under the pile was even worse. I spent more than an hour hacking away at baby trees that have sprouted and attempting yet again to clear out the crazy overgrowth of our awful blackberry vines. We've lost about three feet of backyard to the blackberries and some ground cover with purple flowers (possibly vinca?). There was a foot-high stone wall back there when we moved in, and the ground cover overgrew it on one end and the blackberries on the other. I'm trying to figure out how to reclaim some of it, though Roundup is my last but best resort. I would like grass to grow in those areas again, but it's going to be tough! The vines are extra evil, though, and I have the many arm and leg scratches to prove it. We'll see if I can keep it up and stop the spreading once things really start growing again.
Carter spent the time making up something while playing around our sad but apparently still interesting playset. Eventually I finished my work and it was time to head back into the house to cook dinner. But the time outside was great! Yesterday was gorgeous, too, though by the time Carter convinced me to take him to the playground after our stop at the library, it had actually gotten much cooler! He wasn't cold in shorts and a t-shirt, of course, but I had a coat on and I was freezing! Today Craig picked up him early, and even though it was cloudy, it was still warm enough to play outside...
I did another run tonight, 1.5 miles this time. Super slow, but I did it. Hopefully I can fight the soreness with more exercise, because it took until this afternoon to walk normally after Sunday's run. I have a couple pounds to lose and I can tell I am dreadfully out of shape right now. No Corporate Challenge for me this year, I don't think--with the earlier date and the late spring, I just don't have enough time to reasonably work up to it without making myself nuts. I have three days to decide. It's a nice goal, but do I want to make myself nuts to the point I hate running by the time it's over, like I do every year? I do much better when I run for fun. My shirt drawer is full anyway! :)
We go back to a couple days of blah weather and then it seems we go up and down for a while. I'll take the ups, though--and even some of the downs are far better than what we've had so far. Let's hope spring is mostly here to stay!
I decided I needed to give running a shot since the Corporate Challenge registration ends this week, so I planned to go out Sunday. Jacob has been wanting to run with me since last year, and although it was just a little while before his lacrosse practice, he insisted on coming with me. We planned on running a mile. We started off around the block and of course he had to stop and tie his shoes two or three times (because he's almost 10 and still can't tie a solid shoe knot). But each time he would catch up, and I could tell he was relieved when my running app said we were halfway. We continued to run, and I'll admit it was nice to chat with him while we ran. Nothing deep, I suppose, but I think he appreciated the time alone.
As we turned the corner back toward home, he ran ahead of me. I was definitely pacing myself, though I was really tired so while I could have sprinted and kept up with him, I chose to not kill myself on the first run of the year! He seemed to like beating me, even though we never indicated it was a race. Whatever...it was fine. Of course, he came in the house and collapsed on the chair, insisting he couldn't move. He usually hates practice so perhaps that was part of his plan.
While he wallowed, Carter was ready to go outside. Well, he was actually ready to go outside when Jacob and I left, and even started chasing us a minute into our run! I had to yell to him to go home, because I knew he wouldn't make the mile and I didn't want Jacob mad when his mile got messed up. I also needed to run the mile to see just how out of shape I was, so I promised to run with him later. See, Carter has been wanting to race me all winter. He loves running and he's pretty speedy. For some reason he was sure that he could beat me.
We started running down the street. About five houses down, he took a rest. He sprinted again and took another rest. He did that a couple more times and we finally made it down the street, probably a quarter mile. It appears he's a sprinter rather than a distance runner, but we'll work on it. I do want to keep an eye on him for asthma since Craig has it and he breathes pretty heavy when he runs, but so far so good. We started back and took a couple breaks, but finally we headed back home to our finish line, made up by Craig and Jacob (who apparently made a miraculous recovery). I guess we ended in a tie. At least that ensured he wouldn't gloat or cry!
Once the big boys were off to practice, Carter jumped back into his favorites while I started some baby steps of winter yard cleanup, since I'm now playing catch-up with the late spring. He was excited to get back to his bubble gun and bubble mower, and eagerly rode around on his big wheel. One time he came running back to the driveway dragging a giant stick. Then he brought back another and had a blast playing with them. It was one of those simple moments of childhood where a huge stick is the coolest thing ever.
Creativity is one of his strong suits, and that continued into the back yard when I went back there and started cleaning up the monumental mess of a pile of sticks I accidentally left back there in the fall. The ground in the way back is super muddy, so everything under the pile was even worse. I spent more than an hour hacking away at baby trees that have sprouted and attempting yet again to clear out the crazy overgrowth of our awful blackberry vines. We've lost about three feet of backyard to the blackberries and some ground cover with purple flowers (possibly vinca?). There was a foot-high stone wall back there when we moved in, and the ground cover overgrew it on one end and the blackberries on the other. I'm trying to figure out how to reclaim some of it, though Roundup is my last but best resort. I would like grass to grow in those areas again, but it's going to be tough! The vines are extra evil, though, and I have the many arm and leg scratches to prove it. We'll see if I can keep it up and stop the spreading once things really start growing again.
Carter spent the time making up something while playing around our sad but apparently still interesting playset. Eventually I finished my work and it was time to head back into the house to cook dinner. But the time outside was great! Yesterday was gorgeous, too, though by the time Carter convinced me to take him to the playground after our stop at the library, it had actually gotten much cooler! He wasn't cold in shorts and a t-shirt, of course, but I had a coat on and I was freezing! Today Craig picked up him early, and even though it was cloudy, it was still warm enough to play outside...
I did another run tonight, 1.5 miles this time. Super slow, but I did it. Hopefully I can fight the soreness with more exercise, because it took until this afternoon to walk normally after Sunday's run. I have a couple pounds to lose and I can tell I am dreadfully out of shape right now. No Corporate Challenge for me this year, I don't think--with the earlier date and the late spring, I just don't have enough time to reasonably work up to it without making myself nuts. I have three days to decide. It's a nice goal, but do I want to make myself nuts to the point I hate running by the time it's over, like I do every year? I do much better when I run for fun. My shirt drawer is full anyway! :)
We go back to a couple days of blah weather and then it seems we go up and down for a while. I'll take the ups, though--and even some of the downs are far better than what we've had so far. Let's hope spring is mostly here to stay!
Monday, April 16, 2018
A Lost Art, A Lost Chance
Yesterday I happened two catch two of my all-time favorite movies on TV. I only caught the end of the first one, actually, and then pieced together a viewing of the second through live watching and the DVR, but they were no less enjoyable. The movies? Three Men and a Baby and Three Men and a Little Lady. I adore them. They are a perfect 1980s throwback to the family-ish comedy, a time when not everything had to be vulgar or full of sexual innuendos just to attract adult viewers. I actually just had a memory pop up on Facebook in the past couple weeks about when I happened to catch these same movies another time, and remarked how they just don't make them like that anymore. Same for classic romantic comedies that seemed to trail off by somewhere in the mid-to-late 90s, stuff like Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail or anything else that had little-to-no swearing, sex, or violence, and you didn't cringe if your kid happened to walk in room while watching it. Call me old-fashioned, but I really miss that genre. A lot. Not just because that's totally my jam, but because I now have kids that walk into the room and soak up every bit of what they see on TV.
A lot of people talk about how one of the foundations of a strong family is nightly family dinner time. I agree that time like that is important, but lately I've been realizing that there's something else missing that was there when I was a kid, and the movies yesterday reminded me of it yet again. I propose that another chink in the armor of the American family is the loss of the family sitcom. When I was a kid, we'd eat dinner, I'd do some homework, and many nights my goal was to make it back downstairs by 8pm for an hour of sitcoms that the family would often watch together. The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Facts of Life, The Golden Girls, Home Improvement, Growing Pains, even some of the TGIF lineup--though for the most part I think I was relegated to a different TV for that night. But I know for a fact that there were shows we watched together, and while it was still time in front of a screen, back then we had time to talk during commercials so between discussing the show and anything that came up during breaks, inevitably there was some quality family bonding time. And as I got older, that extended into the 9 o'clock hour with shows like Cheers and Night Court (and a few hours after I first typed this, I find out Harry Anderson from Night Court died today :( ), among others. Those were clearly a bit more adult, but either it was written to go over my head or it didn't seem to bother me by that point. But even still--for the most part things were pretty tame and I wouldn't hesitate to let my kids watch most of that with me now. And the further back you go into history, the clearer it is that family TV time was important. The Brady Bunch or Gilligan's Island, anyone?
Nowadays, most sitcoms aren't particularly kid-friendly. Of the ones we watch, I think the only one I'd be OK with Jacob watching is Young Sheldon. Maybe Speechless. Of course, Jacob barely watches TV anyway. He likes Dude Perfect, which is more of a reality show, but it's not bad for him since it's sports-oriented. But most kids would rather go off on their electronic devices, or if the kids like TV, there are so many kids shows now that they have plenty of options to watch themselves at all times...multiple networks, in fact. Also, DVRs make it easier to skip watching the shows until the kids are in bed anyway. I'm sure the playtime gained from delayed viewing can be valuable in its own way, but it probably goes the electronic route more than I'd like.
As a side note, I appreciate that kids movies have become a bit more adult-friendly with little jokes that go over kids' heads and keep the adults paying attention, but both on TV and in the movies, I think that the division between kids and adults has gotten wider. I honestly think a lot of kids' content talks down to them and insults their intelligence, or maybe just doesn't challenge them or teach them those valuable life lessons we parents like to see crop up. And because so much adult content is too adult, it leaves a no-man's land for kids like Jacob. You have things like Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants that correspond to things they may be reading, but even some of that stuff misses the mark on value. Most tweens would probably rather move up a notch to their parents' programming anyway, and where that was once sort of doable, now it's a minefield of swear words, sex, and more.
People always laugh about the "very special episode" of various 80s sitcoms, but let's face it--when a show talked about drugs or teen pregnancy or periods or something else that we don't rush to discuss in normal life, it definitely provided an approachable way to tackle tough subjects. And back then you could trust that the topic would be handled delicately so it didn't run the risk of glorifying it or getting too graphic. I still remember the pot and premarital sex episodes of Facts of Life, the teenage drinking and first period episodes of The Cosby Show, and even when they killed off the mom on The Hogan Family when the actress left. Oh, and remember the "dope" episode of Saved by the Bell? They all had a gentleness in how they handled delicate topics, and now it seems laughable how most of the topics were deemed controversial at the time. Heck, I never watched it, but remember the controversy when Murphy Brown had a baby out of wedlock or the lesbian kiss happened on Roseanne? Now there are entire shows based on those premises! While the simplicity of old shows probably wouldn't hold up in our worldly modern society, there is something sweet and innocent about how they handled those problems and I wish it could be that simple again.
Now it seems that the more extreme it is, the better. Perhaps with so much "reality" TV we're more sensitive to stuff that's fake (ha, that's still a pretty ironic statement), and today's news seems so much darker, so happy-ending sitcoms probably seem even more trite. So instead we rely on low-brow humor to keep us laughing. Even the most tame sitcoms can have sexual innuendos or jokes about drug use. In addition, it's hard to find a non-animated movie that's PG, and even those tend to push the envelope a bit. I know it's up to parents to discuss those things with their kids and that's fine, but with a kid like Jacob who internalizes everything, or a kid like Carter who will say anything just to get a laugh, it can be a risk. I never would have repeated a swear word in front of my parents, but I am sure there are things I was bothered by but didn't have the guts to talk out. And now with things being even more extreme, I worry what Jacob might fixate on or what Carter might repeat.
But ultimately I feel like it's a bit of a lost opportunity for adults and kids to create a lasting bond over entertainment that resonates with them both. It seems like almost everything is specifically geared toward one group or another, so those connections aren't quite as natural as they used to be. There was nothing quite like knowing that the whole family would gather at 8pm to watch a show together, and I guess it's just a bit of a lost art these days.
We still do dinner, though, so maybe we'll be okay.
A lot of people talk about how one of the foundations of a strong family is nightly family dinner time. I agree that time like that is important, but lately I've been realizing that there's something else missing that was there when I was a kid, and the movies yesterday reminded me of it yet again. I propose that another chink in the armor of the American family is the loss of the family sitcom. When I was a kid, we'd eat dinner, I'd do some homework, and many nights my goal was to make it back downstairs by 8pm for an hour of sitcoms that the family would often watch together. The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Facts of Life, The Golden Girls, Home Improvement, Growing Pains, even some of the TGIF lineup--though for the most part I think I was relegated to a different TV for that night. But I know for a fact that there were shows we watched together, and while it was still time in front of a screen, back then we had time to talk during commercials so between discussing the show and anything that came up during breaks, inevitably there was some quality family bonding time. And as I got older, that extended into the 9 o'clock hour with shows like Cheers and Night Court (and a few hours after I first typed this, I find out Harry Anderson from Night Court died today :( ), among others. Those were clearly a bit more adult, but either it was written to go over my head or it didn't seem to bother me by that point. But even still--for the most part things were pretty tame and I wouldn't hesitate to let my kids watch most of that with me now. And the further back you go into history, the clearer it is that family TV time was important. The Brady Bunch or Gilligan's Island, anyone?
Nowadays, most sitcoms aren't particularly kid-friendly. Of the ones we watch, I think the only one I'd be OK with Jacob watching is Young Sheldon. Maybe Speechless. Of course, Jacob barely watches TV anyway. He likes Dude Perfect, which is more of a reality show, but it's not bad for him since it's sports-oriented. But most kids would rather go off on their electronic devices, or if the kids like TV, there are so many kids shows now that they have plenty of options to watch themselves at all times...multiple networks, in fact. Also, DVRs make it easier to skip watching the shows until the kids are in bed anyway. I'm sure the playtime gained from delayed viewing can be valuable in its own way, but it probably goes the electronic route more than I'd like.
As a side note, I appreciate that kids movies have become a bit more adult-friendly with little jokes that go over kids' heads and keep the adults paying attention, but both on TV and in the movies, I think that the division between kids and adults has gotten wider. I honestly think a lot of kids' content talks down to them and insults their intelligence, or maybe just doesn't challenge them or teach them those valuable life lessons we parents like to see crop up. And because so much adult content is too adult, it leaves a no-man's land for kids like Jacob. You have things like Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants that correspond to things they may be reading, but even some of that stuff misses the mark on value. Most tweens would probably rather move up a notch to their parents' programming anyway, and where that was once sort of doable, now it's a minefield of swear words, sex, and more.
People always laugh about the "very special episode" of various 80s sitcoms, but let's face it--when a show talked about drugs or teen pregnancy or periods or something else that we don't rush to discuss in normal life, it definitely provided an approachable way to tackle tough subjects. And back then you could trust that the topic would be handled delicately so it didn't run the risk of glorifying it or getting too graphic. I still remember the pot and premarital sex episodes of Facts of Life, the teenage drinking and first period episodes of The Cosby Show, and even when they killed off the mom on The Hogan Family when the actress left. Oh, and remember the "dope" episode of Saved by the Bell? They all had a gentleness in how they handled delicate topics, and now it seems laughable how most of the topics were deemed controversial at the time. Heck, I never watched it, but remember the controversy when Murphy Brown had a baby out of wedlock or the lesbian kiss happened on Roseanne? Now there are entire shows based on those premises! While the simplicity of old shows probably wouldn't hold up in our worldly modern society, there is something sweet and innocent about how they handled those problems and I wish it could be that simple again.
Now it seems that the more extreme it is, the better. Perhaps with so much "reality" TV we're more sensitive to stuff that's fake (ha, that's still a pretty ironic statement), and today's news seems so much darker, so happy-ending sitcoms probably seem even more trite. So instead we rely on low-brow humor to keep us laughing. Even the most tame sitcoms can have sexual innuendos or jokes about drug use. In addition, it's hard to find a non-animated movie that's PG, and even those tend to push the envelope a bit. I know it's up to parents to discuss those things with their kids and that's fine, but with a kid like Jacob who internalizes everything, or a kid like Carter who will say anything just to get a laugh, it can be a risk. I never would have repeated a swear word in front of my parents, but I am sure there are things I was bothered by but didn't have the guts to talk out. And now with things being even more extreme, I worry what Jacob might fixate on or what Carter might repeat.
But ultimately I feel like it's a bit of a lost opportunity for adults and kids to create a lasting bond over entertainment that resonates with them both. It seems like almost everything is specifically geared toward one group or another, so those connections aren't quite as natural as they used to be. There was nothing quite like knowing that the whole family would gather at 8pm to watch a show together, and I guess it's just a bit of a lost art these days.
We still do dinner, though, so maybe we'll be okay.
Sunday, April 15, 2018
A Walk Through the Ice
I guess it's a good thing, but the ice storm was a bit of a bust. The possible half inch of ice ended up at probably a quarter inch or less. There were no significant outages in the area or much tree damage at all. It's a relief to not have to worry about the power or unsafe driving, but I was sort of looking forward to exploring the frozen landscape with the boys. One of my most memorable childhood moments was an ice storm that hit Western New York back in 1991. I was in 7th grade at the time, and I remember it pretty well. I remember the power going out around midnight, and sitting on the toilet in the morning and hearing something that sounded like gunshots. I found out a little while later when I got out to play in the icy wonderland that it was chunks of ice falling off the high power lines into the ice-covered snow below. I almost saw a car get hammered by one of those, too! I loved walking around and seeing everything encased in ice, from the sheet that was sliding down the stop sign (with "STOP" ghosted into it) to the fancy posts on the fence. I slid down the snow drift next to the house a bunch of times before the ice finally gave way, and then I was checking out the side of the neighbor's house, which was completely encased. Not more than a minute after I moved on to something else, I heard a cracking, and suddenly the entire ice cover on that side of the house sheeted off at once. I don't know what happened, but it was pretty scary! It was a lot of ice and it probably could have cut me up pretty good. Everything else was magical, though. Thankfully our power came back on midday, so I didn't have to spend an entire snow day without TV (or heat!). Little did I know that Rochester got hit much worse, and people here had no power for weeks on end!
So, with this ice storm I was excited at the prospect. Last night it sleeted pretty good for a while and then seemed to start to rain, but I was shocked to see almost no ice accumulation this morning. You could tell there was a glaze, but not as much on the trees as expected. I knew more freezing rain was supposed to be coming as the morning wore on, and between not knowing what the roads were like and not wanting the car to end up glazed over by the end of church, we just opted to stay home. I listened to the sermon online, at least! We had a lazy morning, and over that time a little more ice did build up on the trees. After lunch I tried to convince the boys to come out and explore with me before the ice started to melt, but of course I had no takers. So out I went!
Oh, but before I get to that, I wanted to share these pictures I took from my kitchen window the other day. I saw a blue jay hanging out in our tree and ran to get my camera. They're just so pretty!
Right after I snapped the second picture, he flew off to the neighbor's tree. He quickly flew from there, too, and just as he did I spied this guy sitting in the same tree!
Okay, back to today. First stop, the burning bush...
Then the crunchy grass...
And the tree in the front yard. Good thing I took the Easter eggs off it when the weather hit the 50s the other day!
I decided to take a little stroll. There's a spot around the corner that I knew had some pretty crocuses popping up so I figured that might be a good spot. The neighborhood looked cool with all of the icy trees.
The sound of the icy trees blowing in the wind sounded like rain, but it wasn't raining. Thankfully the sidewalks were no more than a little slushy in spots and I didn't have to dodge falling ice at all. It started falling a little once I came back, but I never got hit! I got to the crocuses and it was sad to see them so frozen over.
On the way back, I couldn't help but take a shot of a maple down the street.
Even something as simple as a solar light gets interesting after some ice.
I wandered into the backyard, righted a garbage can, marveled at the slush-filled water table, and looked around the yard at the mess I need to clean up once the weather starts cooperating. Probably the most fun thing I saw was this...
I brought in a piece that broke off a tree to show the boys what they were missing, and it's now sitting in the freezer. Maybe next time they'll listen?
The ice has pretty much melted now. We're going through a couple days of hardcore rain now, and it looks like if we make it through this week, maybe next weekend will be halfway decent (but still not even average!), and maybe we'll even stick in the 50s for a bit. It's seriously draining at this point and I'm about ready to add a couple more days a week of vitamin D! Spring has to come eventually, right?
So, with this ice storm I was excited at the prospect. Last night it sleeted pretty good for a while and then seemed to start to rain, but I was shocked to see almost no ice accumulation this morning. You could tell there was a glaze, but not as much on the trees as expected. I knew more freezing rain was supposed to be coming as the morning wore on, and between not knowing what the roads were like and not wanting the car to end up glazed over by the end of church, we just opted to stay home. I listened to the sermon online, at least! We had a lazy morning, and over that time a little more ice did build up on the trees. After lunch I tried to convince the boys to come out and explore with me before the ice started to melt, but of course I had no takers. So out I went!
Oh, but before I get to that, I wanted to share these pictures I took from my kitchen window the other day. I saw a blue jay hanging out in our tree and ran to get my camera. They're just so pretty!
Right after I snapped the second picture, he flew off to the neighbor's tree. He quickly flew from there, too, and just as he did I spied this guy sitting in the same tree!
Okay, back to today. First stop, the burning bush...
 |
| Definitely the opposite of burning today. |
And the tree in the front yard. Good thing I took the Easter eggs off it when the weather hit the 50s the other day!
I decided to take a little stroll. There's a spot around the corner that I knew had some pretty crocuses popping up so I figured that might be a good spot. The neighborhood looked cool with all of the icy trees.
The sound of the icy trees blowing in the wind sounded like rain, but it wasn't raining. Thankfully the sidewalks were no more than a little slushy in spots and I didn't have to dodge falling ice at all. It started falling a little once I came back, but I never got hit! I got to the crocuses and it was sad to see them so frozen over.
On the way back, I couldn't help but take a shot of a maple down the street.
Even something as simple as a solar light gets interesting after some ice.
I wandered into the backyard, righted a garbage can, marveled at the slush-filled water table, and looked around the yard at the mess I need to clean up once the weather starts cooperating. Probably the most fun thing I saw was this...
 |
| The ice fell off the wires attached to the house in a straight line! |
The ice has pretty much melted now. We're going through a couple days of hardcore rain now, and it looks like if we make it through this week, maybe next weekend will be halfway decent (but still not even average!), and maybe we'll even stick in the 50s for a bit. It's seriously draining at this point and I'm about ready to add a couple more days a week of vitamin D! Spring has to come eventually, right?
Saturday, April 14, 2018
News and Notes, Eternal Winter Edition
No, we haven't seen Elsa, but it does seem like we're trapped in an eternal winter. It's mid-April and we've barely seen 50 degrees, let alone significant time in the 40s. It's been rough. We had one day in the 50s on Thursday and it even stopped raining for a little while, but otherwise, it's been cold, drizzly/snowy, and just generally miserable. I'm shocked that any bulbs are even coming up because it hasn't been warm at all...but apparently spring has been waiting long enough and the flowers can't be held back much longer. The worst part is that the extended forecast isn't really much better, which takes us almost to the end of the month with little improvement. It's getting frustrating, not just because everyone is starved for warmth and sunlight, but because the kids are practically climbing the walls to go outside. Jacob would probably go out all the time, but he doesn't want to go out alone. Carter doesn't like the cold and neither Craig nor I really feel like hanging out outside when it's like this. So my living room has looked like a ridiculous battlefield full of every toy imaginable for weeks, and we're just waiting for the day where a post-dinner walk or bike ride is in the cards. But first, we have to get through an ice storm this weekend. Yay.
I don't think I ever got back to Carter's blood work results. As you'll recall, he had his blood work done before Easter, and he freaked out yet again. They had to bring in someone to hold his arm because he kept slipping out of my grip, and it was just generally horrible. We'd talked about it at length, had a prize in place, and there was even a little girl who came in right after us and I tried to remind Carter that if he yelled he'd scare her. But oh, did he ever yell. Probably 10 more people came in immediately after the little girl, which meant we had a huge audience to pass by on our walk of shame on the way out. His prize (which he actually said beforehand he didn't want to be his prize because he wanted to earn it another way--I think he knew it was going to be ugly) is still sitting in my room waiting to be earned. Anyway, the results trickled in over the next few days. Thank goodness, everything was fine. Even the ferritin was where they wanted it. His Celiac test was very definitively negative, which was a huge relief. There was one slightly odd result, for his thyroid stimulating hormone. It was a little above normal, which could indicate hypothyroidism. However, I find that odd since he can barely keep weight on and has a ton of energy. The doctor wasn't particularly concerned, but I assume it will need to be redone in three months when we're supposed to get the ferritin redone (nooooo) because they knocked him down to a kids' multivitamin with iron instead of the adult dose. We'll see how that goes. But still, it was a relief that there was nothing of concern.
This week involved a couple answers to prayer on the medical front as well. My dad had been having issues that he figured had to do with a kidney stone, but no stone had appeared yet and his doctor decided to do a procedure to check things out. It was a little stressful as time went on, but luckily a couple days before he finally passed a stone, which was a huge relief. Even better, the results of his procedure were good as well. On a smaller scale, I started to come down with a cold on Saturday night, completely out of the blue, and started taking zinc right away. Sunday was a little rough and Monday wasn't ideal, but Dayquil and Nyquil saved the day and night, and by Tuesday I was pretty much normal. I know it seems like a little thing since it's just a cold, but when you're a working mom, a cold is pretty miserable--maybe even more so when you're not quite sick enough to stay home from work! I still have a little lingering congestion here and there, but my allergies can do that on their own, too, so who knows? But getting well quickly was a huge relief.
Thursday was a big day for us as our local Chick-fil-A, the first in our area, opened up five minutes from us. If you recall from our Maryland trip in November, Chick-fil-A became our BFF, so getting one here is exciting. It's nice having a new quick option for Jacob, since one of our best ones--Mighty Taco--closed their Greece location last year. Craig managed to sneak there for lunch yesterday, and then--perhaps just to get out of the house before the ice storm--went for lunch. We had to park across the street at the mall, walk over (past the drive-thru lineup about 20 cars deep into the adjacent neighborhood) and spend about three minutes in the bitter cold since the line had snaked outside. It went through the entire length of the restaurant, but it probably only took about 15-20 minutes to get through. Craig took Carter into the play area for a few minutes while we waited...
We were lucky to snag a table, and our food was delicious as always.
We had to stop at Wegmans on the way home (you know, bread and milk prior to the storm), and Carter was sad that the free cookie bin was empty. However, it got filled before we left, and he was victorious with a giant frosted cookie!
What else is new? We upped Jacob's evening Ritalin dose, mostly because sometimes it seemed the original dose did nothing, but also because he grew an inch and gained four pounds (up to 70!) since January and the old dose may not have been enough anyway. He's had more of a temper lately, which I worry is a side effect of the early stages of puberty (kill me now). He just seems to fly off the handle for little stuff more than he used to. He does try to play with Carter, and once in a while it works for a little bit, but they can't seem to leave each other alone so it still doesn't last long or end well. We're tired and over-reliant on electronics, but you do what you can. I'm personally making efforts--when his behavior allows--to be affectionate with Jacob and spend time with him. It's not always easy because he will often say or do things that sort of make you want to slug him, but when I can, I try to build whatever trust and love that I can. I know he appreciates it--craves it, even--though he can't seem to connect to that later when things go back downhill.
I have completely finished up my scanning project. My parents' albums are done and I even scanned the photo books my mom made for me with school pictures and assorted doubles from those time periods. The only other thing I might do is scan Jacob's and Carter's baby books (although Carter's is still a few pages short of being done--still have to finish his 5th birthday and wait for the first day of school), but otherwise, I'm all scanned out for now. It's been quite a project and I'm so relieved to have them scanned and safely uploaded to the internet. It was definitely a journey down memory lane and often broke my heart to see those that have passed, but I'm obviously thankful to have those memories. We just passed the two year anniversary of my cousin Kristi's passing, and it was nice to have an assortment of pictures scanned to share with her family on that day. My parents' albums were over 5,700 pictures, and while that sounds crazy, it really wasn't that bad. It was a lot of evenings of scanning as I watched TV, usually 75-200 at a time, depending on how quickly the kids went to bed. Done a little at a time, it was really manageable. But I'm a little relieved it's done!
Well, off to bed. Hoping we still have power in the morning...the glazing of ice outside has begun!
I don't think I ever got back to Carter's blood work results. As you'll recall, he had his blood work done before Easter, and he freaked out yet again. They had to bring in someone to hold his arm because he kept slipping out of my grip, and it was just generally horrible. We'd talked about it at length, had a prize in place, and there was even a little girl who came in right after us and I tried to remind Carter that if he yelled he'd scare her. But oh, did he ever yell. Probably 10 more people came in immediately after the little girl, which meant we had a huge audience to pass by on our walk of shame on the way out. His prize (which he actually said beforehand he didn't want to be his prize because he wanted to earn it another way--I think he knew it was going to be ugly) is still sitting in my room waiting to be earned. Anyway, the results trickled in over the next few days. Thank goodness, everything was fine. Even the ferritin was where they wanted it. His Celiac test was very definitively negative, which was a huge relief. There was one slightly odd result, for his thyroid stimulating hormone. It was a little above normal, which could indicate hypothyroidism. However, I find that odd since he can barely keep weight on and has a ton of energy. The doctor wasn't particularly concerned, but I assume it will need to be redone in three months when we're supposed to get the ferritin redone (nooooo) because they knocked him down to a kids' multivitamin with iron instead of the adult dose. We'll see how that goes. But still, it was a relief that there was nothing of concern.
This week involved a couple answers to prayer on the medical front as well. My dad had been having issues that he figured had to do with a kidney stone, but no stone had appeared yet and his doctor decided to do a procedure to check things out. It was a little stressful as time went on, but luckily a couple days before he finally passed a stone, which was a huge relief. Even better, the results of his procedure were good as well. On a smaller scale, I started to come down with a cold on Saturday night, completely out of the blue, and started taking zinc right away. Sunday was a little rough and Monday wasn't ideal, but Dayquil and Nyquil saved the day and night, and by Tuesday I was pretty much normal. I know it seems like a little thing since it's just a cold, but when you're a working mom, a cold is pretty miserable--maybe even more so when you're not quite sick enough to stay home from work! I still have a little lingering congestion here and there, but my allergies can do that on their own, too, so who knows? But getting well quickly was a huge relief.
Thursday was a big day for us as our local Chick-fil-A, the first in our area, opened up five minutes from us. If you recall from our Maryland trip in November, Chick-fil-A became our BFF, so getting one here is exciting. It's nice having a new quick option for Jacob, since one of our best ones--Mighty Taco--closed their Greece location last year. Craig managed to sneak there for lunch yesterday, and then--perhaps just to get out of the house before the ice storm--went for lunch. We had to park across the street at the mall, walk over (past the drive-thru lineup about 20 cars deep into the adjacent neighborhood) and spend about three minutes in the bitter cold since the line had snaked outside. It went through the entire length of the restaurant, but it probably only took about 15-20 minutes to get through. Craig took Carter into the play area for a few minutes while we waited...
We were lucky to snag a table, and our food was delicious as always.
We had to stop at Wegmans on the way home (you know, bread and milk prior to the storm), and Carter was sad that the free cookie bin was empty. However, it got filled before we left, and he was victorious with a giant frosted cookie!
What else is new? We upped Jacob's evening Ritalin dose, mostly because sometimes it seemed the original dose did nothing, but also because he grew an inch and gained four pounds (up to 70!) since January and the old dose may not have been enough anyway. He's had more of a temper lately, which I worry is a side effect of the early stages of puberty (kill me now). He just seems to fly off the handle for little stuff more than he used to. He does try to play with Carter, and once in a while it works for a little bit, but they can't seem to leave each other alone so it still doesn't last long or end well. We're tired and over-reliant on electronics, but you do what you can. I'm personally making efforts--when his behavior allows--to be affectionate with Jacob and spend time with him. It's not always easy because he will often say or do things that sort of make you want to slug him, but when I can, I try to build whatever trust and love that I can. I know he appreciates it--craves it, even--though he can't seem to connect to that later when things go back downhill.
I have completely finished up my scanning project. My parents' albums are done and I even scanned the photo books my mom made for me with school pictures and assorted doubles from those time periods. The only other thing I might do is scan Jacob's and Carter's baby books (although Carter's is still a few pages short of being done--still have to finish his 5th birthday and wait for the first day of school), but otherwise, I'm all scanned out for now. It's been quite a project and I'm so relieved to have them scanned and safely uploaded to the internet. It was definitely a journey down memory lane and often broke my heart to see those that have passed, but I'm obviously thankful to have those memories. We just passed the two year anniversary of my cousin Kristi's passing, and it was nice to have an assortment of pictures scanned to share with her family on that day. My parents' albums were over 5,700 pictures, and while that sounds crazy, it really wasn't that bad. It was a lot of evenings of scanning as I watched TV, usually 75-200 at a time, depending on how quickly the kids went to bed. Done a little at a time, it was really manageable. But I'm a little relieved it's done!
Well, off to bed. Hoping we still have power in the morning...the glazing of ice outside has begun!
Sunday, April 8, 2018
My Irrational Reality TV Problem
Sooo...lately I seem to be having a problem with select reality TV shows. Specifically, I'm having a jealousy issue. It's completely ridiculous, irrational, and short-sighted. It's the epitome of "the grass is always greener." But darn it, it's bugging me, and this week it's been worse. I'm jealous of the giant families on reality TV, namely the Duggars and Bates. And yes, I know this is nuts, but hear me out. I have legitimate reasons. And while I know there are many real-life reasons to counteract the ones I see on my side of the screen, just indulge me for a couple minutes, OK? Here are the reasons I'm jealous of these two mega-families:
1) They are close in age and have things in common - My brother and I are four years apart. It's not a lot, but I think it's sort of a pivotal span for a couple reasons. First, we were never in high school or college at the same time. He was leaving, and I was coming in. Even when we were in the same school from K-8, usually K-4 did their thing and 5-8 did theirs. It was rare that we had major shared experiences outside of life at home. Also, I feel like four years is enough to have significantly different lives, but not enough of a span to have a mentor-type relationship. You know, you hear about the families with a 10-year-old whose best little buddy is their baby sibling because they can teach them everything. I think particularly because we're different genders and our gap was smaller, it just didn't work out that way. To this day we're not close. We don't have any specific issues, but we just live very different lives aside from both having kids that are similar ages. Geography, interests, general way of life...all just different. It is what it is. We should do better, and maybe someday we will. But for now I'll just be jealous of these families with lots of kids close in age, all living a very specific kind of life and having to band together for support in a society that's decidedly different from them. They need that moral support, and luckily they have an army of siblings (and friends--including the other family) to do that. They have such a unique shared life experience, and that alone has to bond them more than a typical set of siblings.
2) They're all getting married and having babies together - I know there was one who started earlier, but they're still having babies, too. There will be many more down the line, too, but with groups this large, there's bound to be overlap for pretty much everyone. And that's pretty awesome. I grew up with a bunch of cousins within a few years of me on one side of the family, and that was the best! Alas, of all of my cousins within that span, I'm the only one with kids. Of the ones outside that realm, the kids are either out of town or older. My eight-years-younger cousin is due in a month, but now Carter is already five years older than that baby. Long story short, my kids don't have a lot of cousins on my side to grow up with, and Carter's sort of out of luck on the other side, too. But within the Duggars and Bates, they have more cousins than they know what to do with. Most of them will always have someone close in age, and that's really cool. And it's awesome for them as parents, too, since they have people to commiserate with, pass their kids off to for a playdate while they have date night, or to double date with. It would just be nice to know you have multiple options for all of it, and your kids will always have built-in buddies.
3) They're young and innocent - Last week was the Joseph and Kendra Duggar wedding episode. It was actually a little weird watching it and knowing they're now halfway through their first pregnancy, but it was clear how young and excited they were then. To be in your late teens and early 20s with your whole life ahead of you...it's such a special time. But to be madly in love and getting married? Forget about it. Best thing ever. I feel like they're also in a unique position because they seem to be comfortable financially, which isn't usually the case at that age. I assume it's because of the shows and that many of the boys work with their dads, but since there's no expectation for the women to work, there's no doubt they're cool. Add in that they seem willing to have kids right away and they're clearly more advanced than most people their age. But they're still so wide-eyed and excited at the same time, and it's sweet. And from my perspective, so many years removed from that stage, that sounds so nice. Also, knowing how hard I tried to be good back when I was in college in particular, I can relate to their "no kissing before marriage" thing and how hard it is. I can't imagine what it's like to not kiss your spouse until you're married to them, nor can I imagine what happens when it's time to move right on to sex immediately! But it's cute to see them be all nervous about it, and that whole first kiss feeling was pretty great, so good for them! I guess when you feel like you're stuck in a challenging rut, it's nice to live vicariously.
4) Their faith is central to their lives - I'll admit I'm jealous of how dedicated they are to their faith. It's at the core of everything they do, and it's clear how fulfilling it is for them. I wish that I could be like that. I have a hard time finding the time to do a daily devotional, and it's not always easy to bring my faith into my daily life--at least, not when I spend most of the day focused on work and the rest frustrated by my kids. I should do better. We do pray at meals and bedtime, and go to church and Sunday School, but clearly that's not enough. Our first instinct should always be faith and prayer, and that's simply not always the case. But with these families, there is no question. It is the focus of their lives from birth. Of course, based on Josh Duggar, it's not perfect--there are some issues that need attending to--but I admire people that have such a strong faith that will carry them through whatever life brings.
5) They seem very content - For all these reasons above, it just seems like they're all in this peaceful, content stage of life. They're excited about marriage, excited about kids, and just cool with life in general, whatever it may bring. Like I said, I feel like I'm in a bit of a frustrating rut--challenging kids, hardly any adventure, lots of obligations--so seeing people who seem genuinely joyful about daily life is inspiring.
Look, I know that behind every one of these stories is a shaken faith, bratty child, sleepless night, sick kid, or (at least in one case) an unfaithful spouse. And their lives are clearly much different than mine even on the best day, and who knows what that's really like. But apparently there's nothing like unbridled excitement and optimism, and when it's so blatantly obvious in watching someone, it's hard for that to not make you long to have the same thing. Particularly when your day-to-day life is, shall we say, not so optimistic. Maybe it's escapism, but for now it seems harmless. I'm happy for all of them and I wish them nothing but continued joy. Hopefully watching them will bring back memories of when we were in those stages and it'll give me a new appreciation for how far we've come. I'll take what I can get.
1) They are close in age and have things in common - My brother and I are four years apart. It's not a lot, but I think it's sort of a pivotal span for a couple reasons. First, we were never in high school or college at the same time. He was leaving, and I was coming in. Even when we were in the same school from K-8, usually K-4 did their thing and 5-8 did theirs. It was rare that we had major shared experiences outside of life at home. Also, I feel like four years is enough to have significantly different lives, but not enough of a span to have a mentor-type relationship. You know, you hear about the families with a 10-year-old whose best little buddy is their baby sibling because they can teach them everything. I think particularly because we're different genders and our gap was smaller, it just didn't work out that way. To this day we're not close. We don't have any specific issues, but we just live very different lives aside from both having kids that are similar ages. Geography, interests, general way of life...all just different. It is what it is. We should do better, and maybe someday we will. But for now I'll just be jealous of these families with lots of kids close in age, all living a very specific kind of life and having to band together for support in a society that's decidedly different from them. They need that moral support, and luckily they have an army of siblings (and friends--including the other family) to do that. They have such a unique shared life experience, and that alone has to bond them more than a typical set of siblings.
2) They're all getting married and having babies together - I know there was one who started earlier, but they're still having babies, too. There will be many more down the line, too, but with groups this large, there's bound to be overlap for pretty much everyone. And that's pretty awesome. I grew up with a bunch of cousins within a few years of me on one side of the family, and that was the best! Alas, of all of my cousins within that span, I'm the only one with kids. Of the ones outside that realm, the kids are either out of town or older. My eight-years-younger cousin is due in a month, but now Carter is already five years older than that baby. Long story short, my kids don't have a lot of cousins on my side to grow up with, and Carter's sort of out of luck on the other side, too. But within the Duggars and Bates, they have more cousins than they know what to do with. Most of them will always have someone close in age, and that's really cool. And it's awesome for them as parents, too, since they have people to commiserate with, pass their kids off to for a playdate while they have date night, or to double date with. It would just be nice to know you have multiple options for all of it, and your kids will always have built-in buddies.
3) They're young and innocent - Last week was the Joseph and Kendra Duggar wedding episode. It was actually a little weird watching it and knowing they're now halfway through their first pregnancy, but it was clear how young and excited they were then. To be in your late teens and early 20s with your whole life ahead of you...it's such a special time. But to be madly in love and getting married? Forget about it. Best thing ever. I feel like they're also in a unique position because they seem to be comfortable financially, which isn't usually the case at that age. I assume it's because of the shows and that many of the boys work with their dads, but since there's no expectation for the women to work, there's no doubt they're cool. Add in that they seem willing to have kids right away and they're clearly more advanced than most people their age. But they're still so wide-eyed and excited at the same time, and it's sweet. And from my perspective, so many years removed from that stage, that sounds so nice. Also, knowing how hard I tried to be good back when I was in college in particular, I can relate to their "no kissing before marriage" thing and how hard it is. I can't imagine what it's like to not kiss your spouse until you're married to them, nor can I imagine what happens when it's time to move right on to sex immediately! But it's cute to see them be all nervous about it, and that whole first kiss feeling was pretty great, so good for them! I guess when you feel like you're stuck in a challenging rut, it's nice to live vicariously.
4) Their faith is central to their lives - I'll admit I'm jealous of how dedicated they are to their faith. It's at the core of everything they do, and it's clear how fulfilling it is for them. I wish that I could be like that. I have a hard time finding the time to do a daily devotional, and it's not always easy to bring my faith into my daily life--at least, not when I spend most of the day focused on work and the rest frustrated by my kids. I should do better. We do pray at meals and bedtime, and go to church and Sunday School, but clearly that's not enough. Our first instinct should always be faith and prayer, and that's simply not always the case. But with these families, there is no question. It is the focus of their lives from birth. Of course, based on Josh Duggar, it's not perfect--there are some issues that need attending to--but I admire people that have such a strong faith that will carry them through whatever life brings.
5) They seem very content - For all these reasons above, it just seems like they're all in this peaceful, content stage of life. They're excited about marriage, excited about kids, and just cool with life in general, whatever it may bring. Like I said, I feel like I'm in a bit of a frustrating rut--challenging kids, hardly any adventure, lots of obligations--so seeing people who seem genuinely joyful about daily life is inspiring.
Look, I know that behind every one of these stories is a shaken faith, bratty child, sleepless night, sick kid, or (at least in one case) an unfaithful spouse. And their lives are clearly much different than mine even on the best day, and who knows what that's really like. But apparently there's nothing like unbridled excitement and optimism, and when it's so blatantly obvious in watching someone, it's hard for that to not make you long to have the same thing. Particularly when your day-to-day life is, shall we say, not so optimistic. Maybe it's escapism, but for now it seems harmless. I'm happy for all of them and I wish them nothing but continued joy. Hopefully watching them will bring back memories of when we were in those stages and it'll give me a new appreciation for how far we've come. I'll take what I can get.
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Blast from the Past
So remember last week or so when I was talking about our old house? Well, yesterday I drove by it on my way to daycare to see how the big tree in the yard fared after the 70+ mile per hour winds we had the other day, and much to my surprise, there was a "For Sale" sign out front! I've actually been waiting for that to happen, to some degree, since I saw three kids in the yard a couple times. How they fit that many kids in the house sort of boggled my mind since the living room and storage were full enough with one! Of course, I was eager to get home and check out the listing, but I was pretty surprised by what I saw.
As I mentioned in my other post, I saw the old countertop outside the house recently, so I knew they had replaced that. It appears it is granite. They took out the ugly brown sink and put in stainless steel, and they did a nice glass tile backsplash. The problem is that the cabinets were still the same ugly awfulness, so those three touches still didn't do much for the house. I suppose someone could come in and realize all they have to do is paint the cabinets to have a nice kitchen, but still, it's odd. The living room looks the same--still the red accent wall and goldenrod walls. They had a ton less furniture in there, though--just a couch, chair, coffee table, and small TV stand for a good-sized TV. I was happy to see that my beloved shelves were still there, though they were bare--which after looking through the photos a bunch of times, I decided must be because they're already in the process of packing. There's still full furniture--though sparse--but there are only a few things anywhere on the walls or in the way of knickknacks. Maybe that's how they roll, or maybe that's what their realtor recommended, but it barely looks lived in.
They replaced the teal green carpeting in the dining room with gray and added a small flat screen in there. The bedrooms look the same, too, aside from a strip of border and some wall decals. The bathroom is the same, too, with the light fixture we installed and the border I replaced. Still very purple.
The basement appears to be where the kids' stuff got relegated, as it all lines a couple walls. The plush carpeting is still there, and the bar looks good--and very full of liquor! Oddly, they put a hole in the drop ceiling to hang some sort of suspended seat. The basement bathroom looks pretty much the same, although I do think they replaced the icky shag carpeting in there with some tile.
The yard has a pop-up pool in it, and the shed is gone...though the door is still leaning up against the fence. The patio looks like it's been taken over by something covered in mesh. Maybe growing raspberries or something on trellises? They seem to have added a few small trees closer to the house, but for the most part it's still the same blah yard.
I guess I was just surprised by how little they've done in eight years. The old owners of our house would probably say the same thing about us, although coming in, this house probably had far less that imminently needed to be done. I figured anyone who would buy that house would probably come in ready to spruce things up. I was surprised they didn't paint the cabinets or any of the walls, add a dishwasher, do the roof, or really modernize much of anything aside from parts of the kitchen. The things they did seem relatively minor, at least compared to the windows, garage and front doors, and central air that we did. I am guessing the next person that comes in there may be the type that wants to really make it their own, and in many ways, I hope they do. It could use it!
It was weird seeing other people's stuff in the space we lived in for almost five years, particularly since so much of it looked the same. Some of the original curtains that we left behind are still in use, in fact! With the shell almost identical, just seeing different furniture was odd. It was almost like being inside the house again for the first time in eight years. Much like when we left, I flashed back to moments there--middle-of-the-night baby moments with Jacob, the pregnancy test in the bathroom, hours spent cooking dinner in the kitchen, quiet weekends home alone, the little projects we were proud of. It brought a lot of memories back to see it again as things come full circle eight years later.
Last night as I was puttering around the house, I had a couple moments remembering how excited we were to move in here, what a relief it was to move into a bigger, brighter house; to be away from the many projects we wanted to do; to have a dishwasher and pretty cabinets and a gorgeous, huge living room. Even the office, which we barely use now, was a symbol of why this house meant so much to us.
The bad news is that once it sells, I probably won't see it again for years to come, and by then, who knows what it will look like! We'll be that much farther removed from our time there, but we'll always have the memories.
As I mentioned in my other post, I saw the old countertop outside the house recently, so I knew they had replaced that. It appears it is granite. They took out the ugly brown sink and put in stainless steel, and they did a nice glass tile backsplash. The problem is that the cabinets were still the same ugly awfulness, so those three touches still didn't do much for the house. I suppose someone could come in and realize all they have to do is paint the cabinets to have a nice kitchen, but still, it's odd. The living room looks the same--still the red accent wall and goldenrod walls. They had a ton less furniture in there, though--just a couch, chair, coffee table, and small TV stand for a good-sized TV. I was happy to see that my beloved shelves were still there, though they were bare--which after looking through the photos a bunch of times, I decided must be because they're already in the process of packing. There's still full furniture--though sparse--but there are only a few things anywhere on the walls or in the way of knickknacks. Maybe that's how they roll, or maybe that's what their realtor recommended, but it barely looks lived in.
They replaced the teal green carpeting in the dining room with gray and added a small flat screen in there. The bedrooms look the same, too, aside from a strip of border and some wall decals. The bathroom is the same, too, with the light fixture we installed and the border I replaced. Still very purple.
The basement appears to be where the kids' stuff got relegated, as it all lines a couple walls. The plush carpeting is still there, and the bar looks good--and very full of liquor! Oddly, they put a hole in the drop ceiling to hang some sort of suspended seat. The basement bathroom looks pretty much the same, although I do think they replaced the icky shag carpeting in there with some tile.
The yard has a pop-up pool in it, and the shed is gone...though the door is still leaning up against the fence. The patio looks like it's been taken over by something covered in mesh. Maybe growing raspberries or something on trellises? They seem to have added a few small trees closer to the house, but for the most part it's still the same blah yard.
I guess I was just surprised by how little they've done in eight years. The old owners of our house would probably say the same thing about us, although coming in, this house probably had far less that imminently needed to be done. I figured anyone who would buy that house would probably come in ready to spruce things up. I was surprised they didn't paint the cabinets or any of the walls, add a dishwasher, do the roof, or really modernize much of anything aside from parts of the kitchen. The things they did seem relatively minor, at least compared to the windows, garage and front doors, and central air that we did. I am guessing the next person that comes in there may be the type that wants to really make it their own, and in many ways, I hope they do. It could use it!
It was weird seeing other people's stuff in the space we lived in for almost five years, particularly since so much of it looked the same. Some of the original curtains that we left behind are still in use, in fact! With the shell almost identical, just seeing different furniture was odd. It was almost like being inside the house again for the first time in eight years. Much like when we left, I flashed back to moments there--middle-of-the-night baby moments with Jacob, the pregnancy test in the bathroom, hours spent cooking dinner in the kitchen, quiet weekends home alone, the little projects we were proud of. It brought a lot of memories back to see it again as things come full circle eight years later.
Last night as I was puttering around the house, I had a couple moments remembering how excited we were to move in here, what a relief it was to move into a bigger, brighter house; to be away from the many projects we wanted to do; to have a dishwasher and pretty cabinets and a gorgeous, huge living room. Even the office, which we barely use now, was a symbol of why this house meant so much to us.
The bad news is that once it sells, I probably won't see it again for years to come, and by then, who knows what it will look like! We'll be that much farther removed from our time there, but we'll always have the memories.
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