Two years ago today, we started Jacob's gluten-free diet. He'd had his intestinal biopsy that day, and even though we didn't have the final results, it was pretty clear at that point that we'd be doing some sort of gluten-free life regardless of what the results showed. It was, in the immortal words of the Muppets, time to get things started.
I know I felt very lost in those first few months. I had been in such a routine with my dinners, and even then I had some nights where I had no idea what to make. It was pretty difficult to realize that some of my standbys would never be an option again, and I'd have to spend a lot of time, research, and money figuring out how to revamp my menu. I felt like I was starting from scratch, and with one picky five-year-old and a presumably picky second kid just starting solids, I knew it would be a challenge to find things everyone would like. Oh, and at that point it appeared Carter was intolerant to rice (whether or not he was is hard to know for sure, but he sure did puke up that one cereal repeatedly), so that complicated matters further because I usually couldn't feed him what we were eating. I felt lost and helpless in the kitchen, and even more so when we were on the road. Not being able to confidently eat out was so hard. Some days, it still is.
Two years later, it is easier. We have our go-to restaurants, and if we don't know one off-hand, there's an app for that. You don't always know if you can trust them, or if they'll have something Jacob will eat, but it's a start. Dinners at home are easier, but sometimes I do have a hard time thinking of something to cook that we haven't already eaten recently. We abuse pizza, chicken, gluten-free pasta, potatoes, and the only two veggies everyone will eat, corn and broccoli. We love tacos with corn shells, rotisserie chicken from the store, and breakfast for dinner. We have a three week rotation of Italian food, with gnocchi with sausage one week, spaghetti with meatballs the next, and family-favorite macaroni and tomato soup (often with good bread) after that. We eat a lot of breakfast for dinner, especially in Craig's absence. We rotate through my pancakes and waffles, Wegmans frozen waffles, and Aldi's pancakes, and most recently, French toast and sausages, while adding in scrambled eggs and egg and cheese sandwiches on gluten-free bagels. I've been able to convert a bunch of my recipes to a gluten-free version, and even found a few convenience foods that are similar enough to what we used to eat. Wegmans is a great source, as is Aldi, and we're lucky to have both around. I try to maintain a list of foods I can make, so I can reference it when I get a mental block on what we haven't had in a while. Just the other night we had sloppy joes, which had somehow fallen off my radar for a while. I need to utilize Pinterest more to give me new ideas, and I need to plan better. But there's no doubt we're in a way better place than we were two years ago.
Jacob has handled things pretty well. Once in a while he gets annoyed by something--something non-gluten-free that one of us is eating, or something he desperately wants but can't have. Parties and picnics are still hard, but luckily Jacob is happy filling up on a lot of normal snack foods like chips and cheese puffs. Not healthy, I know, but sometimes it's just not that easy to bring food with you. Sometimes when I do make the effort he won't eat the good stuff anyway, so I try to carefully consider where I make my effort. I do my best to be prepared and have a backup (even if it is McDonald's). I would love for him to choose fruit and salads more often, but I can only fight that battle so often. Ultimately he will one day be an adult and hopefully he will be a little more concerned with his own health and learn to make better choices. Forcing it now would probably only do him a disservice.
I think my biggest challenge as his mom is that I can't tell what's actually going on in his body. Jacob's former teacher, who also has Celiac disease, seems very aware of when an illness is caused by gluten vs. something else. I don't think Jacob has quite figured it out yet, maybe because he hasn't been exposed that often. We've only had one horrible reaction, early on when he ate pretzels he shouldn't have at the afterschool program, and beyond that we've only had a handful of possible exposures. But it's hard to tell if it was just a random stomach bug, or if it was the gluten. He complains of stomach aches and nausea more often than most kids, but it rarely becomes anything. Sometimes he recovers a little too quickly for me to think it was a legit complaint, so it's always hard to tell what's going on. It's not that I don't believe him, but sometimes I think he convinces himself of things--either on purpose or accidentally--and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like if he wants to stay home from school, or if there's something he's nervous about, he may come down with a stomach ache. I think he often lets his imagination get carried away, and he truly thinks something is up. He may have pains, or just feel off, but it's hard to gauge how severe or serious it might be. So, ultimately, it's very hard to tell if he's getting mild exposures here and there, or if there's something else bugging him.
Most recently this Cheerios debacle has been a tough one to navigate. Initially he seemed fine--no stomach issues, no signs of problems. Or maybe he just didn't notice. But then he did notice. And shortly thereafter I noticed him falling back into old meltdown tendencies. He also had his first toilet-clogging BM in a while (which used to happen all the time, even after he went on the diet for a while), which seemed like a bit of a coincidence given everything else. So while I don't have any proof because his reactions aren't like most people's, I can't in good conscience let him eat them again. If he can't tell exactly what's going on either, I can't risk that he's getting damage from them. He's stayed away from them on his own very well, but it stinks. It was like a whole new world opened up...and then closed again. Trial and error is really tough in a situation like this, but I guess we're lucky he doesn't get as sick as some people.
It's been a long road, but aside from a large-ish handful of panicky moments, I think we're doing okay. We figure it out, somehow. I can't say that we're old pros yet, but we're getting there. There might always be times where his dinner is a bag of chips and a slushie, but as long as most of the time it's not, we're not doing too badly. Sometimes when I navigate in the car in places I'm not entirely familiar with, I say that I will get us there, just maybe not in the most efficient way possible. And I think that holds true with this. He will get fed, he will be fine, but we might have to be a little lost and confused before we succeed. Jacob was dealt a crappy hand, no doubt, but I hope that someday medical advances and food companies will make his life easier. This problem isn't going away, for him or for society as a whole, so I can only hope someone will make it a priority. But until then, I'll keep bumbling through my gluten-free cooking adventures until at least I get it right.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
My Biggest Fear
I don't particularly love doing serious posts. They're not as fun to read, I'd have to think, and sometimes they let a little too much light into the darker part of our souls. It's not easy to share that, but sometimes I feel like these posts have to be written before things eat me alive from the inside out. If I write it here, somehow it's just easier to either let it go or at least move forward.
In the past few days I have encountered a couple pieces of writing that have taken me back a couple years to our hardest time as parents, and have also given me a glimpse of the future that I fear most, one that I hope and pray never becomes our reality.
I read a blog post on the site Scary Mommy the other day that was an anonymous mom account of the time she called a psychiatric unit for her daughter. She agonized about it, but in desperation called and gave them the information they needed to start the process. However, when they called back to make arrangements, the mom didn't answer. She decided she couldn't send her daughter away, but would find every other possible way to help her. She didn't go into details about what prompted the call, though she did admit to the person on the phone that her daughter had talked about not wanting to be alive anymore. The comments on the blog post ranged from people saying that she needs to get her daughter help and that the same treatment saved their lives, or that lack of action in a similar situation led to a tragedy in their own lives. And yet, some others said that the hospital was the worst place they ever went and that regular counseling is better in the long run. Either way, the post and the comments were heartbreaking.
I was drawn into the post because there was a time where I felt like calling a psych unit for Jacob. In the midst of his worst behavior two years ago, after holding him down, dodging punches, and watching meltdown after meltdown, I wasn't sure what else to do. I felt like I couldn't live under those circumstances any longer. I felt like I couldn't be the mom he needed me to be, so maybe someone else needed to step in. In the end we tried therapy and a few evaluations, and eventually things just calmed down, seemingly on their own. Maybe it was the gluten, maybe it was Carter and Kindergarten coming to a head, or maybe he just grew up a bit. We still have our issues and still need to find a therapist that works for all of us (more on that in a bit), but things are livable now and I thank God I never had to make that call.
Over the weekend there was a story in our local paper about a 12-year-old girl who took her own life over the summer. I actually remember randomly seeing her obituary, as it caught my eye with the picture of a beautiful young girl. Intrigued, I searched around online a bit to see if she had been sick or had some sort of story, and after a few clues it became apparent that her death was self-inflicted, presumably a victim of bullying. This weekend's news story filled in the blanks, and what a tragic story it was. She had clearly been bullied, though not with the same visibility of some kids. Her parents had inquired with the school and apparently there wasn't much for the school to go on. Eventually she became more introverted and one day had an epic meltdown about having to take her brother to the pool. She argued with her mom, and when her mom came to check on her five minutes later, she had used her pajama pants to hang herself in her room. At the time she had just rendered herself unconscious, but she died a week later. It was completely unexpected and far more extreme than what would have been expected for the circumstances. As a parent, a story like that completely haunts you. You never think something like that could happen, particularly so quickly and without adequate warning. It has been on my mind ever since.
As those two stories co-mingle in my mind, and as I watch my eldest child go through life, I worry. I'd probably worry anyway, but with a kid like Jacob, I worry even more. He does have a happy-go-lucky side that comes out sometimes, but now that I see how Carter puts it out there 95% of the time, it's clear to me that Jacob has always been...different. Even at Carter's age there was always something we couldn't put our finger on. He was challenging, exhausting, particular, and not as excited about life as most kids. I mean, don't get me wrong--he had plenty of happy moments and times where he was excited, but he didn't exude daily joy quite like I see it in Carter, now that I have some means to compare. He was so serious about sports, so intent on how he played, and very opinionated on so many things that most kids just take for granted. I know I didn't enjoy parenting him at the age Carter is at now, whereas most of the time Carter is such a joy to parent. The cute moments outweigh the bad by a ton. I don't find myself wishing stages away like I did with Jacob. I was so eager to get out of the "terrible twos" or the torture that was the threes because I kept hoping the next age brought with it some relief. Heck, that was one of the big reasons we put off trying for a second child for an extra year--I just couldn't imagine having the bandwidth for another at that point.
His behavior at age five was downright scary, and it opened my eyes to how bad things could get in the future as he got bigger, stronger, and more hormonally charged. Even the most normal, logical kid gets a little loopy during adolescence, and I still worry about how any remaining demons might play into that a few years down the road. Clearly I hope to cut them off at the pass, but both of those stories were cautionary tales for me about how important it is to be vigilant and help Jacob understand himself so he can manage the hard moments and not do anything rash.
We still need to find a better therapy option because the ones we've tried haven't really resonated with him. They were both middle-aged women, and I'd love to see how he'd respond to a man who might be able to use sports and guy stuff to relate to him. We also need some family therapy so we can all co-exist more peacefully than we do now. He still doesn't think that we should be able to tell him what to do. All he sees is what he wants to do, and anything we tell him is apparently a mere suggestion, no matter how forceful or no matter how many times he's lost the same battle in the past. It's almost like he needs some neutral third party to convince him that we really are the bosses, because clearly anyone who's told him that before is just saying that to annoy him. He's convinced no one else's parents punish them! Despite my recent efforts to not lose my temper with him, he still doesn't particularly like me around or think that I treat him fairly. It breaks my heart that I can't connect with him. He's also still so angry about Carter--he doesn't want him around and he practically has an anxiety attack (no joke) when Carter comes in his room. He frequently says he wants to move out. At school he seems to have friends (so many kids say hi when we're there for events!), but then he'll tell us he doesn't have any. So either he's trying to get attention, or for some reason he still feels isolated despite the company of numerous friends. He also seems easily swayed by kids that have some interesting ideas about what is "fun", and we're constantly reminding him that just because someone else is doing it, it doesn't make it okay. He needs to think for himself and decide what the right thing is to do, not just go along with the crowd.
We need to talk through this stuff and find a way to manage these issues so he knows that we want to support him and so he's equipped to manage his choices as emotions as he gets older. He doesn't want to listen to us most of the time, so maybe he will listen to someone else completely unconnected to us, and realize we're all saying the same thing so it must be right! These stories were a grim reminder of how things can go terribly wrong if they're not dealt with properly, and I pray we can figure out how to help Jacob through his challenges before they become too big for any of us. Life is hard enough, and while you learn so much working your way through the problems, I want him to know he's not going to be doing it without a great support system. We love you, Jacob. Just give us a little trust and we'll give you all we have.
In the past few days I have encountered a couple pieces of writing that have taken me back a couple years to our hardest time as parents, and have also given me a glimpse of the future that I fear most, one that I hope and pray never becomes our reality.
I read a blog post on the site Scary Mommy the other day that was an anonymous mom account of the time she called a psychiatric unit for her daughter. She agonized about it, but in desperation called and gave them the information they needed to start the process. However, when they called back to make arrangements, the mom didn't answer. She decided she couldn't send her daughter away, but would find every other possible way to help her. She didn't go into details about what prompted the call, though she did admit to the person on the phone that her daughter had talked about not wanting to be alive anymore. The comments on the blog post ranged from people saying that she needs to get her daughter help and that the same treatment saved their lives, or that lack of action in a similar situation led to a tragedy in their own lives. And yet, some others said that the hospital was the worst place they ever went and that regular counseling is better in the long run. Either way, the post and the comments were heartbreaking.
I was drawn into the post because there was a time where I felt like calling a psych unit for Jacob. In the midst of his worst behavior two years ago, after holding him down, dodging punches, and watching meltdown after meltdown, I wasn't sure what else to do. I felt like I couldn't live under those circumstances any longer. I felt like I couldn't be the mom he needed me to be, so maybe someone else needed to step in. In the end we tried therapy and a few evaluations, and eventually things just calmed down, seemingly on their own. Maybe it was the gluten, maybe it was Carter and Kindergarten coming to a head, or maybe he just grew up a bit. We still have our issues and still need to find a therapist that works for all of us (more on that in a bit), but things are livable now and I thank God I never had to make that call.
Over the weekend there was a story in our local paper about a 12-year-old girl who took her own life over the summer. I actually remember randomly seeing her obituary, as it caught my eye with the picture of a beautiful young girl. Intrigued, I searched around online a bit to see if she had been sick or had some sort of story, and after a few clues it became apparent that her death was self-inflicted, presumably a victim of bullying. This weekend's news story filled in the blanks, and what a tragic story it was. She had clearly been bullied, though not with the same visibility of some kids. Her parents had inquired with the school and apparently there wasn't much for the school to go on. Eventually she became more introverted and one day had an epic meltdown about having to take her brother to the pool. She argued with her mom, and when her mom came to check on her five minutes later, she had used her pajama pants to hang herself in her room. At the time she had just rendered herself unconscious, but she died a week later. It was completely unexpected and far more extreme than what would have been expected for the circumstances. As a parent, a story like that completely haunts you. You never think something like that could happen, particularly so quickly and without adequate warning. It has been on my mind ever since.
As those two stories co-mingle in my mind, and as I watch my eldest child go through life, I worry. I'd probably worry anyway, but with a kid like Jacob, I worry even more. He does have a happy-go-lucky side that comes out sometimes, but now that I see how Carter puts it out there 95% of the time, it's clear to me that Jacob has always been...different. Even at Carter's age there was always something we couldn't put our finger on. He was challenging, exhausting, particular, and not as excited about life as most kids. I mean, don't get me wrong--he had plenty of happy moments and times where he was excited, but he didn't exude daily joy quite like I see it in Carter, now that I have some means to compare. He was so serious about sports, so intent on how he played, and very opinionated on so many things that most kids just take for granted. I know I didn't enjoy parenting him at the age Carter is at now, whereas most of the time Carter is such a joy to parent. The cute moments outweigh the bad by a ton. I don't find myself wishing stages away like I did with Jacob. I was so eager to get out of the "terrible twos" or the torture that was the threes because I kept hoping the next age brought with it some relief. Heck, that was one of the big reasons we put off trying for a second child for an extra year--I just couldn't imagine having the bandwidth for another at that point.
His behavior at age five was downright scary, and it opened my eyes to how bad things could get in the future as he got bigger, stronger, and more hormonally charged. Even the most normal, logical kid gets a little loopy during adolescence, and I still worry about how any remaining demons might play into that a few years down the road. Clearly I hope to cut them off at the pass, but both of those stories were cautionary tales for me about how important it is to be vigilant and help Jacob understand himself so he can manage the hard moments and not do anything rash.
We still need to find a better therapy option because the ones we've tried haven't really resonated with him. They were both middle-aged women, and I'd love to see how he'd respond to a man who might be able to use sports and guy stuff to relate to him. We also need some family therapy so we can all co-exist more peacefully than we do now. He still doesn't think that we should be able to tell him what to do. All he sees is what he wants to do, and anything we tell him is apparently a mere suggestion, no matter how forceful or no matter how many times he's lost the same battle in the past. It's almost like he needs some neutral third party to convince him that we really are the bosses, because clearly anyone who's told him that before is just saying that to annoy him. He's convinced no one else's parents punish them! Despite my recent efforts to not lose my temper with him, he still doesn't particularly like me around or think that I treat him fairly. It breaks my heart that I can't connect with him. He's also still so angry about Carter--he doesn't want him around and he practically has an anxiety attack (no joke) when Carter comes in his room. He frequently says he wants to move out. At school he seems to have friends (so many kids say hi when we're there for events!), but then he'll tell us he doesn't have any. So either he's trying to get attention, or for some reason he still feels isolated despite the company of numerous friends. He also seems easily swayed by kids that have some interesting ideas about what is "fun", and we're constantly reminding him that just because someone else is doing it, it doesn't make it okay. He needs to think for himself and decide what the right thing is to do, not just go along with the crowd.
We need to talk through this stuff and find a way to manage these issues so he knows that we want to support him and so he's equipped to manage his choices as emotions as he gets older. He doesn't want to listen to us most of the time, so maybe he will listen to someone else completely unconnected to us, and realize we're all saying the same thing so it must be right! These stories were a grim reminder of how things can go terribly wrong if they're not dealt with properly, and I pray we can figure out how to help Jacob through his challenges before they become too big for any of us. Life is hard enough, and while you learn so much working your way through the problems, I want him to know he's not going to be doing it without a great support system. We love you, Jacob. Just give us a little trust and we'll give you all we have.
Monday, October 19, 2015
Ten Things I Learned (or Remembered) This Weekend
It was a tiring weekend, to say the least. Friday ended up being less busy than we thought because the cold, rainy weather canceled Jacob's lacrosse practice (yes, the one that prevented me from going to my boss's performance in Cabaret or my first high school reunion event as we head toward the big event next summer--sigh), but the whole weekend was busy or just plain tiring. And I learned a lot about life.
1) My family is crazy, but it is THE best - Saturday was a family wedding. My dad's cousin's son got married. We went to the groom's sister's wedding last summer. While all of my dad's generation got invited, only two of my first cousins and I were invited, pretty much because we're closest in age to the groom and the ones who have been around the most for family get-togethers with that part of the family. We had more than two hours to kill in between the ceremony and reception, which were both at a hotel in downtown Buffalo. A good chunk of our entourage decided to hop on the Buffalo Metro Rail and take the free ride down to Harborcenter, the same place where we went to that charity hockey game a few weeks back. We were going to have a drink at 716, the bar/restaurant there. Some of our group had never seen it, so it seemed like a good spot. We had a blast, laughing pretty much non-stop the whole time. From the random bums asking for money, to making fun of each other, to countless funny stories, we were loud and boisterous and silly. I mused on Facebook that 20 years ago I probably would have been embarrassed to be hanging out with that crew (because teenagers are embarrassed by the mere existence of adult relatives, no odd behavior needed), but now I realize that all of the quirkiness and the loudness and the random absurd comments are a) all a part of who I am today; and b) hilarious. Growing older with my aunts and uncles has been such a fun, strange journey. Pretty much no topic is off-limits anymore, and it's funny to realize how many things probably went way over our heads as kids. The whole night was a fantastic time, and even though Craig wasn't able to be there, I had a blast.
2) I need to take more walks around Downtown Buffalo - Remember a few weeks ago when I took the late-night walk with the kids around Rochester during the Fringe Festival? That walk reminded me how many cool things there are to see in the heart of a city. Saturday's family journey through downtown did the same for me, though this time it reminded me how many cool things there are to see in Buffalo. Of course, I don't need a ton of help on that front because Craig's cousin is @buffalony on Instagram and sends out amazing pictures from all around the city to his 18,000 followers. Even still, getting to see some of it myself is cool. Neat old buildings, interesting monuments, and random art are so much fun to see. If it wouldn't have been in the low 40s and if I wasn't in high heels and missing my coat (I left it in the car since there was a valet--oops), I probably would have been a little more adventurous seeking out things to see. But I did catch this fun shot outside the hotel...
3) I need to be less ashamed of pulling out my actual camera and taking random pictures - Related to the point above, when there are so many cool things to see, I really need to just take the shot when I have the chance. Even if it looks stupid in the end, at least I captured it for posterity. For example, I did snap this shot in the ballroom where the ceremony was held, because I loved the detail...
4) Those marquee letters that are so popular now make for great wedding décor - Over the past year or so I've seen those light up marquee letters everywhere. I've always thought they looked fun, and I guess I could see the novelty of having one with your last initial on a shelf or something, but I always wondered how practical it was to have the lighted version. I mean, how often are you really going to bother turning it on? Turns out there's a reason craft stores sell those things. There was this lovely stage in the ballroom where the reception was, and on it was a single table with the wedding's "official" hashtag (for social media purposes). It's a combo of their last names, and it was such a cool touch. Seriously, how fun is this?
They also had their first initials with an ampersand on the head table. But really, it made me feel a little better that there is a fun use for them out in the world...
5) Seeing a perfect couple get married is so much fun - The happy couple just seems so perfect for each other. I'll admit I've become a little jaded as I get older and see so many happy couples become not so happy, or at the very least see how easy it is to let married life get a little ho-hum, but whenever you go to a wedding where the couple just seems like such a perfect match, it's gotta make you smile. This couple did the "Carlton" dance when they got introduced at the reception, for pete's sake! Their humor just seems spot on with each other, and their sense of adventure seems well matched. You can't help but feel the warm fuzzies when you see that.
6) Just because I don't feel the drinks when I'm drinking them doesn't mean I won't feel them tomorrow - I had four alcoholic beverages during the course of the day on Saturday. I had a hard cider around 3:30, a couple amaretto sours around 6:30, and one beer around 10pm. I had a lot of food in and around most of that and never felt even the least bit tipsy. And yet, yesterday I woke up feeling pretty sub-par. Perhaps it was just straight-up dehydration from too little water the day before, because I didn't have a headache. I also wasn't horribly tired or nauseated, but my stomach seemed a bit off (too many desserts?) and I was just low-energy all day. I have no idea if it was the drinks--particularly because I woke up sneezing and sniffling this morning--but lately it seems like even one or two leaves me a little off the next day. Getting old is no fun.
7) Having a gimpy spouse sort of sucks - So, Craig is definitely doing better. He didn't go to the wedding because he was still sore and he was concerned about his ability to elevate and ice his leg over the course of the evening. I'd been trying to convince him all week to go because I felt bad (particularly given the recent news story about the person who got billed for missing a wedding--though I know that would never happen in this case), but I finally relented, in part because I knew he wouldn't be able to drink and that would dampen his fun even more. In the end I would have missed out on the pre-reception adventures and I would have probably felt guilty all night anyway, so it's probably best he didn't go. As far as the rest of the time post-surgery, I'll say that I've been doing pretty well at staying positive about having to be on call all the time. I've fetched ice and water and snacks, I've corralled the kids, and I've packed and unpacked the car twice. It's not fun sometimes, obviously, but I'm happy to do it. I will say, though, that it does stink to know you have to do everything and that there's no option for backup. On Saturday when we were rushing around to make it into town on time, it was hard to know I couldn't save time by having Craig do anything, like pack up the car or load the kids in. As we stopped to pick up lunch and take it with us, Carter decided he had to pee. I had to take him into the restaurant to go, and then do the ordering as well, with him in tow. Multitasking as a team just wasn't happening, and that was hard mentally when we were already in a rush. But he's definitely doing better in the last couple days. He even drove to work this morning, mostly because he had a therapy appointment today and wanted the ability to go home early if needed. It's been hard to watch him in pain, but all things considered we've managed pretty well. Still, I miss having a partner to rely on for some of those little things.
8) Carter has a nasty side and I'm afraid it's finally arriving - Wow, Carter was such a handful yesterday. I don't know what got into him. He had his mini-hockey stick taken away twice for whacking people, and he was a steady stream of "no" and mischievous looks and squirminess all day. It was driving me nuts, in part because I was on the hook for chasing him every time. Lately he's been sleeping a lot later than usual. Saturday he woke up at 9:30! Most days I'm going in his room at 8am to wake him up, rather than him waking up on his own around 7:30 or earlier. It may just be a growth spurt, though he's not eating like he's having one, but the usual parental radar goes up when weird stuff like that goes on. I know he could just be tired, or getting sick like me (he did have a runny nose yesterday), but boy, we did not like that side of him at all. Let's hope it's just a brief phase and the sweeter side takes back over soon. The terrible twos have not been that terrible this time around and I'd like to keep it that way.
9) Gray skies, sun, and fall foliage may be one of my favorite views in nature - We've had a lot of changeable weather lately, and while I no longer have my amazing bird's-eye view, I still take it in as much as I can. We've had some interesting cloud formations, sun-to-clouds-to-sun transformations, and spotty precipitation. I absolutely love the contrast of fall colors against a stormy gray sky, and I've seen a lot of it over the past week. Friday as I was picking Jacob up from school, this gorgeous rainbow appeared in the sky. It was sunny in one direction and stormy in the other, and I was definitely keeping my eyes peeled for one...and sure enough, there it was!
And of course it disappeared by the time we came back out. But what a beautiful fleeting moment it was as it stretched across the whole sky.
10) October snow is never okay - It snowed yesterday. Not a lot, not enough to stick, but it snowed. We actually saw some snow on the ground in the shady ditches next to the Thruway, and I drove into a wall of snow on our way home (with another gorgeous view of a dark sky against the fall colors!), but luckily the bursts were short lived and none of it stuck. But seeing it is never fun. It's a reminder of what's coming, and I'm just not ready for that. It was in the 70s a week ago, after all! I'm a little cranky that we had cold enough weather for it to snow at all, and this morning we had a rather significant frost outside, but I'm happy it's smart enough not to stick, and I hope the real stuff holds off for a bit. It's not even Halloween yet, after all, and any good Western New Yorker knows that no Halloween is complete without having to consider how your costume will fare in 70 degree weather AND 30 degree weather. I've experienced both, many times over. There will be plenty of time for snow in November, December, January, and February. But for now, Mother Nature needs to leave us alone with our pretty leaves.
So, it was a good weekend. I'm still exhausted and this cold is not doing me any favors. I need to get healthy for a weekend trip from my brother's family, though, so I should be in bed already...more soon!
1) My family is crazy, but it is THE best - Saturday was a family wedding. My dad's cousin's son got married. We went to the groom's sister's wedding last summer. While all of my dad's generation got invited, only two of my first cousins and I were invited, pretty much because we're closest in age to the groom and the ones who have been around the most for family get-togethers with that part of the family. We had more than two hours to kill in between the ceremony and reception, which were both at a hotel in downtown Buffalo. A good chunk of our entourage decided to hop on the Buffalo Metro Rail and take the free ride down to Harborcenter, the same place where we went to that charity hockey game a few weeks back. We were going to have a drink at 716, the bar/restaurant there. Some of our group had never seen it, so it seemed like a good spot. We had a blast, laughing pretty much non-stop the whole time. From the random bums asking for money, to making fun of each other, to countless funny stories, we were loud and boisterous and silly. I mused on Facebook that 20 years ago I probably would have been embarrassed to be hanging out with that crew (because teenagers are embarrassed by the mere existence of adult relatives, no odd behavior needed), but now I realize that all of the quirkiness and the loudness and the random absurd comments are a) all a part of who I am today; and b) hilarious. Growing older with my aunts and uncles has been such a fun, strange journey. Pretty much no topic is off-limits anymore, and it's funny to realize how many things probably went way over our heads as kids. The whole night was a fantastic time, and even though Craig wasn't able to be there, I had a blast.
2) I need to take more walks around Downtown Buffalo - Remember a few weeks ago when I took the late-night walk with the kids around Rochester during the Fringe Festival? That walk reminded me how many cool things there are to see in the heart of a city. Saturday's family journey through downtown did the same for me, though this time it reminded me how many cool things there are to see in Buffalo. Of course, I don't need a ton of help on that front because Craig's cousin is @buffalony on Instagram and sends out amazing pictures from all around the city to his 18,000 followers. Even still, getting to see some of it myself is cool. Neat old buildings, interesting monuments, and random art are so much fun to see. If it wouldn't have been in the low 40s and if I wasn't in high heels and missing my coat (I left it in the car since there was a valet--oops), I probably would have been a little more adventurous seeking out things to see. But I did catch this fun shot outside the hotel...
But there were shots outside when we were walking that I just should have taken, like up Court St. toward City Hall, with Niagara Square and a monument in the foreground. It would have been a great shot, and I just didn't bother. I always kick myself for moments where I'm too lazy or too embarrassed to pull out my real, non-phone camera and take a shot.
They also had their first initials with an ampersand on the head table. But really, it made me feel a little better that there is a fun use for them out in the world...
5) Seeing a perfect couple get married is so much fun - The happy couple just seems so perfect for each other. I'll admit I've become a little jaded as I get older and see so many happy couples become not so happy, or at the very least see how easy it is to let married life get a little ho-hum, but whenever you go to a wedding where the couple just seems like such a perfect match, it's gotta make you smile. This couple did the "Carlton" dance when they got introduced at the reception, for pete's sake! Their humor just seems spot on with each other, and their sense of adventure seems well matched. You can't help but feel the warm fuzzies when you see that.
6) Just because I don't feel the drinks when I'm drinking them doesn't mean I won't feel them tomorrow - I had four alcoholic beverages during the course of the day on Saturday. I had a hard cider around 3:30, a couple amaretto sours around 6:30, and one beer around 10pm. I had a lot of food in and around most of that and never felt even the least bit tipsy. And yet, yesterday I woke up feeling pretty sub-par. Perhaps it was just straight-up dehydration from too little water the day before, because I didn't have a headache. I also wasn't horribly tired or nauseated, but my stomach seemed a bit off (too many desserts?) and I was just low-energy all day. I have no idea if it was the drinks--particularly because I woke up sneezing and sniffling this morning--but lately it seems like even one or two leaves me a little off the next day. Getting old is no fun.
7) Having a gimpy spouse sort of sucks - So, Craig is definitely doing better. He didn't go to the wedding because he was still sore and he was concerned about his ability to elevate and ice his leg over the course of the evening. I'd been trying to convince him all week to go because I felt bad (particularly given the recent news story about the person who got billed for missing a wedding--though I know that would never happen in this case), but I finally relented, in part because I knew he wouldn't be able to drink and that would dampen his fun even more. In the end I would have missed out on the pre-reception adventures and I would have probably felt guilty all night anyway, so it's probably best he didn't go. As far as the rest of the time post-surgery, I'll say that I've been doing pretty well at staying positive about having to be on call all the time. I've fetched ice and water and snacks, I've corralled the kids, and I've packed and unpacked the car twice. It's not fun sometimes, obviously, but I'm happy to do it. I will say, though, that it does stink to know you have to do everything and that there's no option for backup. On Saturday when we were rushing around to make it into town on time, it was hard to know I couldn't save time by having Craig do anything, like pack up the car or load the kids in. As we stopped to pick up lunch and take it with us, Carter decided he had to pee. I had to take him into the restaurant to go, and then do the ordering as well, with him in tow. Multitasking as a team just wasn't happening, and that was hard mentally when we were already in a rush. But he's definitely doing better in the last couple days. He even drove to work this morning, mostly because he had a therapy appointment today and wanted the ability to go home early if needed. It's been hard to watch him in pain, but all things considered we've managed pretty well. Still, I miss having a partner to rely on for some of those little things.
8) Carter has a nasty side and I'm afraid it's finally arriving - Wow, Carter was such a handful yesterday. I don't know what got into him. He had his mini-hockey stick taken away twice for whacking people, and he was a steady stream of "no" and mischievous looks and squirminess all day. It was driving me nuts, in part because I was on the hook for chasing him every time. Lately he's been sleeping a lot later than usual. Saturday he woke up at 9:30! Most days I'm going in his room at 8am to wake him up, rather than him waking up on his own around 7:30 or earlier. It may just be a growth spurt, though he's not eating like he's having one, but the usual parental radar goes up when weird stuff like that goes on. I know he could just be tired, or getting sick like me (he did have a runny nose yesterday), but boy, we did not like that side of him at all. Let's hope it's just a brief phase and the sweeter side takes back over soon. The terrible twos have not been that terrible this time around and I'd like to keep it that way.
9) Gray skies, sun, and fall foliage may be one of my favorite views in nature - We've had a lot of changeable weather lately, and while I no longer have my amazing bird's-eye view, I still take it in as much as I can. We've had some interesting cloud formations, sun-to-clouds-to-sun transformations, and spotty precipitation. I absolutely love the contrast of fall colors against a stormy gray sky, and I've seen a lot of it over the past week. Friday as I was picking Jacob up from school, this gorgeous rainbow appeared in the sky. It was sunny in one direction and stormy in the other, and I was definitely keeping my eyes peeled for one...and sure enough, there it was!
10) October snow is never okay - It snowed yesterday. Not a lot, not enough to stick, but it snowed. We actually saw some snow on the ground in the shady ditches next to the Thruway, and I drove into a wall of snow on our way home (with another gorgeous view of a dark sky against the fall colors!), but luckily the bursts were short lived and none of it stuck. But seeing it is never fun. It's a reminder of what's coming, and I'm just not ready for that. It was in the 70s a week ago, after all! I'm a little cranky that we had cold enough weather for it to snow at all, and this morning we had a rather significant frost outside, but I'm happy it's smart enough not to stick, and I hope the real stuff holds off for a bit. It's not even Halloween yet, after all, and any good Western New Yorker knows that no Halloween is complete without having to consider how your costume will fare in 70 degree weather AND 30 degree weather. I've experienced both, many times over. There will be plenty of time for snow in November, December, January, and February. But for now, Mother Nature needs to leave us alone with our pretty leaves.
So, it was a good weekend. I'm still exhausted and this cold is not doing me any favors. I need to get healthy for a weekend trip from my brother's family, though, so I should be in bed already...more soon!
Friday, October 16, 2015
Carter-isms
Carter is talking up a storm now, to the point that we've hit the stage where it's hard to get him to stop talking. Lately long after bedtime we'll still hear him up in his crib singing and talking to himself. Most of the time he's super cute and keeps us laughing. Sometimes he just talks about the world as we pass it by. He'll ask about certain buildings, or point out a bus or airplane, or just talk about his day at daycare. He's still got a pretty nasty stutter, and while it doesn't seem to phase him, it does make me sad to hear him struggle to get words out. But he's so observant and knows so many words, and I love this phase as he learns how to have a conversation.
Lately he's had some phrases that he uses all the time. I figured I should share them here for posterity...
"You love me, Mommy?" - I think he knows the answer and just wants to hear it again, but I tell him I love him at least a half dozen times a day (more on weekends), so there should be no question. If anything perhaps he's learning that it doesn't depend on anything and I will always love him no matter what. On a related note, I had to have the conversation with Jacob a couple weeks ago about how I will always love him, but that sometimes I may not like him very much. He accused me of wanting to hang out with Carter more, and I explained that yes, sometimes I do like to hang out with Carter more because it's not fun to hang out with someone who doesn't listen and makes me yell all the time. Ironically, a co-worker of mine mentioned the same issue in her house, saying that it's a real compliment when she says that she likes her kids, in addition to loving them. I think it's still a hard concept for Jacob to understand, but I think the big takeaway is that I will always love him, even when liking him gets hard. For now I think Carter just likes the validation of hearing it over and over again.
"Are you my Mommy?" - I have no idea why he asks me this, usually at least twice a day. I think there might be a book out there that's says something like that, but I have no clue what brought it on. Maybe me asking, "Are you my baby boy?" or "Are you my big boy?" Still, every single time I respond, "Of course I am, silly!"
"Are you happy?" - Oh, this one...I think this one is related to the love one above, where he's trying to gauge where he stands with me. Obviously a few times when he's misbehaved I've told him that the behavior doesn't make me very happy. Conversely, sometimes I tell him that something he did makes me very happy, be it a big hug or a successful use of the potty. And when those things happen, he will ask me if I'm happy. And when he misbehaves sometimes he will ask me, and I will tell him that no, I'm not happy. He was particularly cranky on a walk down to the mailbox the other day, not wanting to hold my hand in the street, and he learned I wasn't happy with him. He's mentioned it multiple times since, and his teachers laugh that only Carter would blow himself in for being naughty!
"I have brown hair. You have brown hair, too." - Carter always likes to mention that we both have brown hair. Sometimes he talks about our eyes, too. He seems to like that we have that in common. Perhaps he likes it even more because Jacob does not have brown hair and that is one thing that Carter has in common with me that Jacob doesn't. But mostly I think he's just observing the world and likes having something in common with somebody!
"Your car is blue. These your tires, Mommy?" - Carter loves pointing out what color my car is, and that my car is different from Daddy's car. He's also been interested in my tires lately, and likes to confirm that's what they are. Silly boy.
"I leaving you!" and "You're trapped!" - Reverse psychology works really well on Carter (see the point below, too), and sometimes when we need him to head for the door, we'll ask, "Are you leaving me?" And he suddenly decides that leaving is a good idea and he delightfully responds, "I'm leaving you!" He'll do it to daycare teachers, too! In the morning when we employ this technique, he also says to Craig, "You're trapped!" as the front door shuts. Apparently he likes the thought of shutting Craig in. I don't think it's mean-spirited, but for now it works so we'll go with it.
Breakfast at daycare - Okay, so this isn't a saying, but it's a habitual routine for him. Most mornings I have a heck of a time getting him into daycare. Despite all the issues we've had there, he's still with the same teachers so I know that's not it. His friends have changed a bit, but I think for the most part they're fine, too. I honestly think he'd just rather stay home and hang out. We had those three months together when I was off work, so maybe that's stuck with him. Regardless, every morning he gives me trouble. When we finally get in the room, he's either being stubborn or hanging on to me for dear life. There are rarely any tears, though, and a minute after I leave he's always fine, so I know it's pretty much just an act. However, the one thing that will get him to stay without an issue is the thought of missing out on breakfast. The ongoing joke is that his one teacher is going to eat it. I know, that's probably cruel to use that threat, but I have to think by now he knows it's a joke. But once he hears that, he sits right down, drinks his milk, and starts in on his bagel and banana or his cereal. It works at dinner time, too, by the way.
"Rock me!" - Lately we've been stuck between the "baby boy" and "big boy" worlds. He's always going to be my baby, and since he's a lot smaller than Jacob was at this age, it's easier to think of him that way. But there's no doubt he's getting bigger (we're less than four months from his third birthday, for goodness sakes!), and when I encourage him at potty training, of course I want him to be my big boy. Jacob never really went through a regression phase, but Carter seems to like being the baby right now. A couple times at bedtime as we cuddled after reading, I explained to Carter that I used to hold him and rock him in that chair. And now suddenly he's asking me to rock him! He also tells me that he's my baby ("I you baby, Mommy!"), so I may have created a monster. BUT...on one hand he's getting too big to rock for too long, so it's hard to indulge him too much, yet on the other hand he will only be this small for a little longer so I'm going to savor it all I can.
"Shoot me!" or "Play me!" - He hasn't used "Shoot me!" as much lately, but it's his term for "Shoot on me," as in playing hockey or lacrosse where he's the goalie. He does say "Play me" quite a bit when he wants you to get down and play with him. It's hard to resist when he asks so sweetly.
"I hit home runs!" - He says this whenever he's playing baseball, which usually involves taking a swing and running the length of the house like a maniac. He's not quite the stickler for accuracy that Jacob once was, apparently. Oh, and half the time it ends with a fall, to which he says, "I slide in the dirt!"
"You go Canada?" - He says this to Craig a lot, apparently because Craig spends a lot of time in Canada and Carter just assumes he's going there all the time. This week it's been "You go doctor?", since Craig has been nursing his bum knee.
"Artie-Toodie" and "Indy Jones" - Those are two movie characters...any guesses? Indy Jones is, of course, Indiana Jones, and Artie-Toodie is R2D2 from Star Wars. Too cute. He used to call Scooby-Doo "Doo Doo", but he's gotten the hang of Scooby now.
"I give you hug." - He offers to give me hugs a lot, often out of the blue, and I love it. It's a pretty hardcode contrast to Jacob, who now doesn't want me touching him at all.
"I love you, Mommy." - Yes, this one is my favorite. After having one child where I could probably count on one hand the number of times he's told me he loves me, Carter says it all the time and it makes me so happy. Most importantly, he shows it, too. He is such a sweet, thoughtful kid so much of the time (and clearly entertaining to boot), and I feel so blessed to be his mom.
Lately he's had some phrases that he uses all the time. I figured I should share them here for posterity...
"You love me, Mommy?" - I think he knows the answer and just wants to hear it again, but I tell him I love him at least a half dozen times a day (more on weekends), so there should be no question. If anything perhaps he's learning that it doesn't depend on anything and I will always love him no matter what. On a related note, I had to have the conversation with Jacob a couple weeks ago about how I will always love him, but that sometimes I may not like him very much. He accused me of wanting to hang out with Carter more, and I explained that yes, sometimes I do like to hang out with Carter more because it's not fun to hang out with someone who doesn't listen and makes me yell all the time. Ironically, a co-worker of mine mentioned the same issue in her house, saying that it's a real compliment when she says that she likes her kids, in addition to loving them. I think it's still a hard concept for Jacob to understand, but I think the big takeaway is that I will always love him, even when liking him gets hard. For now I think Carter just likes the validation of hearing it over and over again.
"Are you my Mommy?" - I have no idea why he asks me this, usually at least twice a day. I think there might be a book out there that's says something like that, but I have no clue what brought it on. Maybe me asking, "Are you my baby boy?" or "Are you my big boy?" Still, every single time I respond, "Of course I am, silly!"
"Are you happy?" - Oh, this one...I think this one is related to the love one above, where he's trying to gauge where he stands with me. Obviously a few times when he's misbehaved I've told him that the behavior doesn't make me very happy. Conversely, sometimes I tell him that something he did makes me very happy, be it a big hug or a successful use of the potty. And when those things happen, he will ask me if I'm happy. And when he misbehaves sometimes he will ask me, and I will tell him that no, I'm not happy. He was particularly cranky on a walk down to the mailbox the other day, not wanting to hold my hand in the street, and he learned I wasn't happy with him. He's mentioned it multiple times since, and his teachers laugh that only Carter would blow himself in for being naughty!
"I have brown hair. You have brown hair, too." - Carter always likes to mention that we both have brown hair. Sometimes he talks about our eyes, too. He seems to like that we have that in common. Perhaps he likes it even more because Jacob does not have brown hair and that is one thing that Carter has in common with me that Jacob doesn't. But mostly I think he's just observing the world and likes having something in common with somebody!
"Your car is blue. These your tires, Mommy?" - Carter loves pointing out what color my car is, and that my car is different from Daddy's car. He's also been interested in my tires lately, and likes to confirm that's what they are. Silly boy.
"I leaving you!" and "You're trapped!" - Reverse psychology works really well on Carter (see the point below, too), and sometimes when we need him to head for the door, we'll ask, "Are you leaving me?" And he suddenly decides that leaving is a good idea and he delightfully responds, "I'm leaving you!" He'll do it to daycare teachers, too! In the morning when we employ this technique, he also says to Craig, "You're trapped!" as the front door shuts. Apparently he likes the thought of shutting Craig in. I don't think it's mean-spirited, but for now it works so we'll go with it.
Breakfast at daycare - Okay, so this isn't a saying, but it's a habitual routine for him. Most mornings I have a heck of a time getting him into daycare. Despite all the issues we've had there, he's still with the same teachers so I know that's not it. His friends have changed a bit, but I think for the most part they're fine, too. I honestly think he'd just rather stay home and hang out. We had those three months together when I was off work, so maybe that's stuck with him. Regardless, every morning he gives me trouble. When we finally get in the room, he's either being stubborn or hanging on to me for dear life. There are rarely any tears, though, and a minute after I leave he's always fine, so I know it's pretty much just an act. However, the one thing that will get him to stay without an issue is the thought of missing out on breakfast. The ongoing joke is that his one teacher is going to eat it. I know, that's probably cruel to use that threat, but I have to think by now he knows it's a joke. But once he hears that, he sits right down, drinks his milk, and starts in on his bagel and banana or his cereal. It works at dinner time, too, by the way.
"Rock me!" - Lately we've been stuck between the "baby boy" and "big boy" worlds. He's always going to be my baby, and since he's a lot smaller than Jacob was at this age, it's easier to think of him that way. But there's no doubt he's getting bigger (we're less than four months from his third birthday, for goodness sakes!), and when I encourage him at potty training, of course I want him to be my big boy. Jacob never really went through a regression phase, but Carter seems to like being the baby right now. A couple times at bedtime as we cuddled after reading, I explained to Carter that I used to hold him and rock him in that chair. And now suddenly he's asking me to rock him! He also tells me that he's my baby ("I you baby, Mommy!"), so I may have created a monster. BUT...on one hand he's getting too big to rock for too long, so it's hard to indulge him too much, yet on the other hand he will only be this small for a little longer so I'm going to savor it all I can.
"Shoot me!" or "Play me!" - He hasn't used "Shoot me!" as much lately, but it's his term for "Shoot on me," as in playing hockey or lacrosse where he's the goalie. He does say "Play me" quite a bit when he wants you to get down and play with him. It's hard to resist when he asks so sweetly.
"I hit home runs!" - He says this whenever he's playing baseball, which usually involves taking a swing and running the length of the house like a maniac. He's not quite the stickler for accuracy that Jacob once was, apparently. Oh, and half the time it ends with a fall, to which he says, "I slide in the dirt!"
"You go Canada?" - He says this to Craig a lot, apparently because Craig spends a lot of time in Canada and Carter just assumes he's going there all the time. This week it's been "You go doctor?", since Craig has been nursing his bum knee.
"Artie-Toodie" and "Indy Jones" - Those are two movie characters...any guesses? Indy Jones is, of course, Indiana Jones, and Artie-Toodie is R2D2 from Star Wars. Too cute. He used to call Scooby-Doo "Doo Doo", but he's gotten the hang of Scooby now.
"I give you hug." - He offers to give me hugs a lot, often out of the blue, and I love it. It's a pretty hardcode contrast to Jacob, who now doesn't want me touching him at all.
"I love you, Mommy." - Yes, this one is my favorite. After having one child where I could probably count on one hand the number of times he's told me he loves me, Carter says it all the time and it makes me so happy. Most importantly, he shows it, too. He is such a sweet, thoughtful kid so much of the time (and clearly entertaining to boot), and I feel so blessed to be his mom.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Video Thursday (and a Medical Status Update)!
Craig had his knee surgery yesterday to clean up his torn meniscus. Everything went well. There wasn't any ligament damage or arthritis, so that was good news. It was a long day, though, since he had to go in at 10:45 and we didn't get home until after 4pm! The surgery itself was quick, but there was a lot of waiting, both before the procedure and again after, once Craig was coming out of anesthesia. We got home in time to catch the crazy Toronto Blue Jays playoff game (thank goodness they won, because the oddball play in the 7th inning should never have cost them the game!), and Craig is doing pretty good. He was a little uncomfortable overnight, but he's trying to walk a bit on it today. Based on everything we're hearing it should get a little better every day.
Now, as promised, it's time for a few videos!
The first one gives you an idea of what it's like to hang out with Carter whenever there is any sort of open area in which he can run. This is pretty much the norm, though in this case he was on the turf after the World Indoor Lacrosse Championship. Oh, and the fall at the end was most likely on purpose, since he often likes to slide like a baseball player...
This was from our day at the pumpkin patch, when Carter was bouncing on the giant pillow. At the start of the video he's on his hands and knees just left of center. He's wearing jeans and an army green sweatshirt and hat.
This was some video I took from my little side trip at Letchworth on Monday that Craig and the kids did not do.I wanted to try to capture what the waterfall looked like so I could show them later. The sun was really bright and the mist was obscuring things a bit, but it's pretty nonetheless.
Later in the trip the boys played lacrosse. Here is Carter taking a shot on Jacob...
And here is Jacob taking a shot on Craig...just look at those moves!
So, for now we're just working on finding our temporary new normal while Craig is partially out of commission. It shouldn't take him too long to get back in the swing of things, though perhaps more slowly than normal, but until then there will be some extra coordinating to do. We also have a pretty busy weekend coming up, so we'll just have to play that by ear a bit as well! Right now I'm just savoring the fall colors, freaking out about figuring out Jacob's Halloween costume (with no free weekends to do it!), and procrastinating sorting the bin of Carter's 3T clothes. So much to think about!
Now, as promised, it's time for a few videos!
The first one gives you an idea of what it's like to hang out with Carter whenever there is any sort of open area in which he can run. This is pretty much the norm, though in this case he was on the turf after the World Indoor Lacrosse Championship. Oh, and the fall at the end was most likely on purpose, since he often likes to slide like a baseball player...
This was from our day at the pumpkin patch, when Carter was bouncing on the giant pillow. At the start of the video he's on his hands and knees just left of center. He's wearing jeans and an army green sweatshirt and hat.
This was some video I took from my little side trip at Letchworth on Monday that Craig and the kids did not do.I wanted to try to capture what the waterfall looked like so I could show them later. The sun was really bright and the mist was obscuring things a bit, but it's pretty nonetheless.
Later in the trip the boys played lacrosse. Here is Carter taking a shot on Jacob...
And here is Jacob taking a shot on Craig...just look at those moves!
So, for now we're just working on finding our temporary new normal while Craig is partially out of commission. It shouldn't take him too long to get back in the swing of things, though perhaps more slowly than normal, but until then there will be some extra coordinating to do. We also have a pretty busy weekend coming up, so we'll just have to play that by ear a bit as well! Right now I'm just savoring the fall colors, freaking out about figuring out Jacob's Halloween costume (with no free weekends to do it!), and procrastinating sorting the bin of Carter's 3T clothes. So much to think about!
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
The Great Outdoors
I decided a while back to take Columbus Day off of work. Jacob was off from school, of course, and Carter's daycare is closed on that day for staff development, so I knew that one way or another I would have two kids with nowhere to go. I had plenty of vacation days, so it seemed like a good idea to use one then. It turned out that Craig got the day off, so in the end it probably wasn't essential, but it was a nice excuse to have a fun family day together. Add in the fact that Craig is getting knee surgery tomorrow and the weather yesterday was in the upper 70s, and it seemed like we really needed to make the most of the day.
Every fall I have it in the back of my mind that I want to go to Letchworth State Park. I remember going there a couple times as a kid, and a couple more times in college, since it's practically down the road from my alma mater. I also visited quite a few years ago (2006, maybe?) for their annual craft show, which is giant and also happened to fall over the three-day weekend this year. Letchworth is considered the "Grand Canyon of the East", and was recently voted the #1 State Park in the country. I think all of the Letchworth enthusiasts rocked the vote a bit, because I'm sure there is some pretty stiff competition out there, but it is a pretty amazing place. I've never really explored a whole lot--mostly I've gone wherever my friends wanted to go, looked out from a couple spots, and moved along--but I've always wanted to go and do some exploring when the leaves were changing. Usually schedules and weather put the kibbosh on those plans, but when I saw the forecast for Monday, I decided I really wanted to make this work!
As usual we were a little slow getting moving yesterday, and I was getting a lot of pushback from Jacob, who just wanted to stay home and hang out. However, I knew that a day like that would involve a lot of bickering between the kids, and I just felt like I'd spend too much time trying to get things done around the house, rather than hang out with my family and enjoy the weather. So, after lunch we loaded in the car and I prayed that Carter would catch a nap during the hour drive. Both boys slept, actually, and after a long but lovely drive, we got to exploring. Of course, we had to be a little cautious with exploration, with a clumsy two-year-old and Craig being a little cautious with his knee. Still, we managed to see plenty!
This was part of our first stop. The first picture is the view to the left, where you can see the Genesee River in between the trees down below as the gorge bends, and the second is off to the right. The river is a bit in the shadows. The colors were pretty, but are a couple weeks behind at this point. On the bright side, there aren't as many bare trees as you get when some of the colors hit peak.
The boys probably weren't as impressed as I would have liked, but I think they thought it was at least a little cool.
We moved along to another stop near the Lower Falls, but that one had a long, uneven stairway down to a prime view of the falls. Carter was drawn to a nearby playground, so Craig stayed with the boys while I ventured down. I'm glad I did.
Our next stop was a place called Inspiration Point. Even the short walk to the edge was pretty...
And yes, it was inspiring. The Middle Falls are straight ahead, and the Upper Falls are the other white spot in the distance.
Above the Upper Falls is a railroad bridge. There happened to be a train crossing as we stood there.
Here's a slightly closer view...
And this was me playing with my camera settings. I put it on the vivid color to see if it better captured the leaves. The sun was so bright that it was washing things out a bit, but I do feel like it felt a little closer to this. Maybe somewhere between the picture above and the picture below...
We checked out the Middle Falls near the famous Glen Iris Inn, and I loved it there because Carter could stand there himself without having to be held up to see the water. He really seemed to like that one.
On the way back to the car from that stop, I couldn't help but take this picture. I loved the colors of the flower and this one was just too perfect...
I knew there was a spot to get a great view of the Upper Falls, but we ended up overshooting it and almost needlessly walked down an absurd number of rustic stairs. We stopped a couple flights down because I didn't remember doing that the last time I saw these falls in college. Turns out one road we'd driven past was actually the spot to get this lovely view...
Of course, while we were at the wrong spot, we saw dozens of people going directly past the "No Trespassing" sign to go up on the bridge in the picture above. I was up on that bridge when I was in college, though I swear at the time I must have been told the tracks were no longer in use. Clearly, based on my picture above, they are very much in use and it scared me a bit that people (and kids!) were going up there, climbing under the fence, and taking pictures. The view is absolutely stunning, though...
...but YIKES. Given the number of people that I saw going into places that were marked as dangerous and not for public access yesterday, I'm surprised there aren't more people that end up dead in the park. Once in a while you hear of one, but I'm shocked there aren't more. And these rule-breakers aren't fancy, well-equipped hiker types, either. These are average Joes out for a day with their family. It's crazy. I'm all for a good shot, too, but geez...is it worth risking your safety?
Anyway, I just love how there are so many nooks and crannies in the Upper Falls. Even the trickles off to the side are so pretty.
We had promised the boys that we'd find a good spot somewhere in the park to play lacrosse for a bit, and we decided this was the stop for it. While they played, I took a quick walk a little further away from the falls because I could tell there was some gorgeous stuff happening with the rapidly setting sun. I just loved the golden glow of the trees and how it reflected on the river.
When I headed back, I caught Jacob playing goal in front of this picnic table. Pretty good spot, actually! Carter was taking shots on him. I have some video of this, too, and I will do a video post soon!
Jacob then took some shots on Craig, and even though this shot was blurry, I loved how Jacob looked mid-shot. The ball is on Craig's knee (and yes, it happens to be the knee that's getting operated on).
Carter got a little cranky at one point and went off by himself to play with pine needles. He wasn't happy I was trying to take his picture, but he always looks cute, so...
Craig took this picture at the end of the lacrosse game, and this pretty much encompasses how our day went...
After we wrapped up the lacrosse game, we started making the long drive out of the park. We came in one entrance but left at the other end. It is a really long park! We made one more stop on our way out, this time at the Mount Morris Dam overlook. I remember being here a few times. I remember one trip in particular, a spur-of-the-moment Sunday evening drive during my first semester of college. One of our good friends interrupted our usual Sunday night studying and we just hopped in the car and went! We looked at the dam, drove through a bit, and then had to head home because it got dark, but it was fun!
It also happened to be getting dark last night when we got there, but I wanted Jacob to see the dam so we could teach him about what it does. There was an amazing picture of the dam from during Hurricane Agnes in 1972, where the water was only a little bit from the top on the one side--more than 700 feet high, I think. Yesterday that same side was just muddy, almost completely dry.
Every fall I have it in the back of my mind that I want to go to Letchworth State Park. I remember going there a couple times as a kid, and a couple more times in college, since it's practically down the road from my alma mater. I also visited quite a few years ago (2006, maybe?) for their annual craft show, which is giant and also happened to fall over the three-day weekend this year. Letchworth is considered the "Grand Canyon of the East", and was recently voted the #1 State Park in the country. I think all of the Letchworth enthusiasts rocked the vote a bit, because I'm sure there is some pretty stiff competition out there, but it is a pretty amazing place. I've never really explored a whole lot--mostly I've gone wherever my friends wanted to go, looked out from a couple spots, and moved along--but I've always wanted to go and do some exploring when the leaves were changing. Usually schedules and weather put the kibbosh on those plans, but when I saw the forecast for Monday, I decided I really wanted to make this work!
As usual we were a little slow getting moving yesterday, and I was getting a lot of pushback from Jacob, who just wanted to stay home and hang out. However, I knew that a day like that would involve a lot of bickering between the kids, and I just felt like I'd spend too much time trying to get things done around the house, rather than hang out with my family and enjoy the weather. So, after lunch we loaded in the car and I prayed that Carter would catch a nap during the hour drive. Both boys slept, actually, and after a long but lovely drive, we got to exploring. Of course, we had to be a little cautious with exploration, with a clumsy two-year-old and Craig being a little cautious with his knee. Still, we managed to see plenty!
This was part of our first stop. The first picture is the view to the left, where you can see the Genesee River in between the trees down below as the gorge bends, and the second is off to the right. The river is a bit in the shadows. The colors were pretty, but are a couple weeks behind at this point. On the bright side, there aren't as many bare trees as you get when some of the colors hit peak.
The boys probably weren't as impressed as I would have liked, but I think they thought it was at least a little cool.
We moved along to another stop near the Lower Falls, but that one had a long, uneven stairway down to a prime view of the falls. Carter was drawn to a nearby playground, so Craig stayed with the boys while I ventured down. I'm glad I did.
 |
| There was a separate rock formation off the path that would have given me another view of the waterfall, but I liked the view from the other end just as much. |
And yes, it was inspiring. The Middle Falls are straight ahead, and the Upper Falls are the other white spot in the distance.
Above the Upper Falls is a railroad bridge. There happened to be a train crossing as we stood there.
Here's a slightly closer view...
And this was me playing with my camera settings. I put it on the vivid color to see if it better captured the leaves. The sun was so bright that it was washing things out a bit, but I do feel like it felt a little closer to this. Maybe somewhere between the picture above and the picture below...
Craig got this picture of Jacob, and it encompasses pretty much every place we've ever gone with Jacob where they have the pay-per-view binoculars. Keep in mind that we refuse to pay for them because they're not worth it and he's not tall enough yet...but he does this anyway...
We checked out the Middle Falls near the famous Glen Iris Inn, and I loved it there because Carter could stand there himself without having to be held up to see the water. He really seemed to like that one.
On the way back to the car from that stop, I couldn't help but take this picture. I loved the colors of the flower and this one was just too perfect...
I knew there was a spot to get a great view of the Upper Falls, but we ended up overshooting it and almost needlessly walked down an absurd number of rustic stairs. We stopped a couple flights down because I didn't remember doing that the last time I saw these falls in college. Turns out one road we'd driven past was actually the spot to get this lovely view...
Of course, while we were at the wrong spot, we saw dozens of people going directly past the "No Trespassing" sign to go up on the bridge in the picture above. I was up on that bridge when I was in college, though I swear at the time I must have been told the tracks were no longer in use. Clearly, based on my picture above, they are very much in use and it scared me a bit that people (and kids!) were going up there, climbing under the fence, and taking pictures. The view is absolutely stunning, though...
 |
| This is a scanned picture from college. You can see the Upper Falls directly below, and the Middle Falls further up where the white water disappears. Pretty amazing, huh? |
...but YIKES. Given the number of people that I saw going into places that were marked as dangerous and not for public access yesterday, I'm surprised there aren't more people that end up dead in the park. Once in a while you hear of one, but I'm shocked there aren't more. And these rule-breakers aren't fancy, well-equipped hiker types, either. These are average Joes out for a day with their family. It's crazy. I'm all for a good shot, too, but geez...is it worth risking your safety?
Anyway, I just love how there are so many nooks and crannies in the Upper Falls. Even the trickles off to the side are so pretty.
We had promised the boys that we'd find a good spot somewhere in the park to play lacrosse for a bit, and we decided this was the stop for it. While they played, I took a quick walk a little further away from the falls because I could tell there was some gorgeous stuff happening with the rapidly setting sun. I just loved the golden glow of the trees and how it reflected on the river.
When I headed back, I caught Jacob playing goal in front of this picnic table. Pretty good spot, actually! Carter was taking shots on him. I have some video of this, too, and I will do a video post soon!
Jacob then took some shots on Craig, and even though this shot was blurry, I loved how Jacob looked mid-shot. The ball is on Craig's knee (and yes, it happens to be the knee that's getting operated on).
Carter got a little cranky at one point and went off by himself to play with pine needles. He wasn't happy I was trying to take his picture, but he always looks cute, so...
Craig took this picture at the end of the lacrosse game, and this pretty much encompasses how our day went...
 |
| Head to toe chaos! |
After we wrapped up the lacrosse game, we started making the long drive out of the park. We came in one entrance but left at the other end. It is a really long park! We made one more stop on our way out, this time at the Mount Morris Dam overlook. I remember being here a few times. I remember one trip in particular, a spur-of-the-moment Sunday evening drive during my first semester of college. One of our good friends interrupted our usual Sunday night studying and we just hopped in the car and went! We looked at the dam, drove through a bit, and then had to head home because it got dark, but it was fun!
It also happened to be getting dark last night when we got there, but I wanted Jacob to see the dam so we could teach him about what it does. There was an amazing picture of the dam from during Hurricane Agnes in 1972, where the water was only a little bit from the top on the one side--more than 700 feet high, I think. Yesterday that same side was just muddy, almost completely dry.
You can see that there was some pretty color on the other side.
One of the things we noticed earlier in the day was a giant flock of birds flying around. We guessed correctly that they were turkey vultures, which was ironic since a turkey vulture was the latest addition to Jacob's stuffed animal collection (no matter how we try to stop it from growing, it keeps happening). When we were at the dam, the honking of Canadian geese constantly echoed through the gorge. I caught this pretty shot right before we left...
The quality of this shot isn't great because there wasn't much lighting, but I thought it looked a little like an oil painting or something...
We stopped at our favorite gluten-free place for a pizza and our free dozen cookies that we won a few weeks ago, since it was along the way home. In the end it turned out to be a pretty full day, and while I'm sure the boys might have liked a little more freedom, I think it was one of those family adventures that needed to be taken on such a rare, gorgeous, fall day. And now I know a little better what we need to explore next time. And yes, one way or another there will be a next time!
Monday, October 12, 2015
Pumpkins...Again...
So, Saturday was my first 12-hour weekend workday in about 10 years. This weekend was Meliora Weekend, a reunion/homecoming hybrid at the University of Rochester that brings anywhere from five to ten thousand people back to campus for four days of events. We're pretty much all on the hook for a handful of shifts, and the coordination of the weekend is mind-boggling. From staffing employees and student ambassadors to moving furniture around campus to furnish temporary spaces, the planning seems endless. I did a couple shifts stuffing and organizing registration packets over the past week or two, and saw it all go into motion when I worked my first shift at our annual giving table on Friday. It was inspiring to see excited alumni returning to campus. I loved my alma mater, but when it comes to events like a reunion, there isn't really the same kind of draw. Anyway, on Saturday I had three shifts--another hour at the table, four hours at a lecture series in the green room, and 4-5 hours as lead staff for a reunion dinner. The dinner was an odd one because it was an event completely planned by someone else, yet I was running it. The reunion staff plans a number of dinners, and most of them tend to fall on Saturday night yet they can't be at all of them at once. As a result, they need to recruit competent people to ensure that everything goes off without a hitch. The hard work is done and it's mostly just an insurance policy against a major issue. Since I had event experience from my days in sports, I got recruited. In the end everything went well. It was a very fun but very exhausting day, and my feet were absolutely killing me by the end. But it was a gorgeous day to be out and about on campus, and I caught a few pictures I wanted to share.
Anyway...after a terrible night of sleep thanks to Carter not sleeping well, we dragged ourselves out of bed for church. We got there a few minutes late due to numerous hold-ups. Carter was once again not thrilled to go to Sunday School. Still, we all survived. We ate a quick lunch at home and then headed out to The Garden Factory, our local indoor version of a pumpkin patch. They have rides, games, food, crafts, and lots of pumpkins! I've taken Jacob there a couple times, mostly when weather has been an issue, but today was gorgeous! We just needed to get pumpkins since we're a little short on time with the weekends leading up to Halloween. I don't even know when we're going to figure out Jacob's costume. I like going there because it's free admission and you only pay for the activities you want to do.
It wouldn't be a trip there without a picture of one of the cutouts...
The boys checked out the race car...
...and Jacob made a snowman out of pumpkins...
Carter and I went in the petting zoo. We saw a pig, who oinked at us!
There were goats and a sheep, and I even touched a lizard, which I'm not sure I've ever done. It actually felt cool. Carter just kept saying, "Yuck!"
Then there were these white chickens with funny hairdos :)
Oh, and this giant turkey flared his tail as we were looking at him. Really impressive, though I wonder if that is a defense mechanism....
There were really soft bunnies, as well as two super cute alpacas. They were really soft, too.
Jacob and Craig went into a light show, and I tried to get some pictures of Carter. I've gotten some cute ones of Jacob here before, so it seemed like the tradition needed to continue...
Jacob opted to forgo any further activities to get a slushie (which, of course, he later tried to go back on), and while he sipped that, Carter changed his ride of choice from the merry-go-round to a ferris wheel. Of course, before that we also tried to go on a miniature version of a super slide, and he refused to go alone once we were up top (and then got stuck when trying to go back down because it was basically a one-way stairway). But he loved the ferris wheel...even if you can't tell from the picture.
Once we finished our activities, we turned our attention to finding pumpkins. The boys were not particularly cooperative, so in the end I picked out a couple--one big one and one little one. Right before we headed out, though, Jacob offered to pose for a picture!
And by some miracle, after that we got both boys smiling in one shot...
At least we got it done, and I think the boys had fun, too. Luckily Sunday was not our last day of the weekend. Both boys are off for Columbus Day, and I had taken off as a result. Then Craig ended up getting it off, too, so today is a bonus family day for us, one last hurrah before Craig's knee surgery on Wednesday. Let's hope we can squeeze in some fun and really celebrate the gorgeous weather!
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| This is one of my favorite spots on campus, looking up the Eastman quad toward Rush Rhees Library. I'd seen the view dozens of times in photos before working here, but when I saw it myself the first time a few months ago, I'll admit it was pretty breathtaking. |
 |
| My dinner event was in that library, and I ran out during the cocktail hour to catch this shot from the library stairs. The photo doesn't do it justice. The shadowy shape is the Interfaith Chapel. |
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| On my way out of the student union at the end of the night after dropping off my box of supplies at headquarters, I couldn't help but snap this shot. I can't get enough of it. |
It wouldn't be a trip there without a picture of one of the cutouts...
The boys checked out the race car...
...and Jacob made a snowman out of pumpkins...
Carter and I went in the petting zoo. We saw a pig, who oinked at us!
There were goats and a sheep, and I even touched a lizard, which I'm not sure I've ever done. It actually felt cool. Carter just kept saying, "Yuck!"
Then there were these white chickens with funny hairdos :)
Oh, and this giant turkey flared his tail as we were looking at him. Really impressive, though I wonder if that is a defense mechanism....
There were really soft bunnies, as well as two super cute alpacas. They were really soft, too.
Jacob and Craig went into a light show, and I tried to get some pictures of Carter. I've gotten some cute ones of Jacob here before, so it seemed like the tradition needed to continue...
 |
| Mission accomplished :) |
Jacob opted to forgo any further activities to get a slushie (which, of course, he later tried to go back on), and while he sipped that, Carter changed his ride of choice from the merry-go-round to a ferris wheel. Of course, before that we also tried to go on a miniature version of a super slide, and he refused to go alone once we were up top (and then got stuck when trying to go back down because it was basically a one-way stairway). But he loved the ferris wheel...even if you can't tell from the picture.
Once we finished our activities, we turned our attention to finding pumpkins. The boys were not particularly cooperative, so in the end I picked out a couple--one big one and one little one. Right before we headed out, though, Jacob offered to pose for a picture!
And by some miracle, after that we got both boys smiling in one shot...
At least we got it done, and I think the boys had fun, too. Luckily Sunday was not our last day of the weekend. Both boys are off for Columbus Day, and I had taken off as a result. Then Craig ended up getting it off, too, so today is a bonus family day for us, one last hurrah before Craig's knee surgery on Wednesday. Let's hope we can squeeze in some fun and really celebrate the gorgeous weather!
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