Back to the 'Burgh

If you have been around this blog for a long time, you may recall that Pittsburgh was a common destination for us.  We'd been there on our own, with Craig's family, and everything in between.  We went there with the whole family when Jacob was a year-and-a-half, on one of our first family vacations with the three of us when Jacob was two, once with just Craig's dad when I was pregnant with Carter, and once with the whole crew when Carter was about six months old.  And of course, Carter and I went there last year for Kennywood and it was also the last trip I took before I found out I was pregnant with Jacob.  Craig has also been there a time or two with his dad for baseball over the years, but I don't think we'd been to a baseball game as a family since Carter was six months old, meaning it had been 10 years!  How crazy is that?

Seven years to the day of picking out our minvan, we loaded it full of people and took off for Pittsburgh.  We had driven to my parents' the night before to cut some time off Saturday's drive, and picked up Craig's parents in the morning.  Due to various travel needs for everyone else (and the fact I am small and agile), I ended up in the way back with Carter.  

We could watch movies and use our pillows and eat from our snack bags, so it wasn't a bad setup.  Harder to be involved in conversations, but we made do.  We stopped in Erie for lunch (as usual), where the Chick-fil-A was pure insanity, and then continued on.  The weather was pretty iffy most of the way, super cloudy and with periods of hard rain.  But it seemed to stop around when we got to Pittsburgh, and we found a parking ramp near the stadium.  It was a 4pm game, which was a little different, but we got there plenty ahead.  Unfortunately, it wasn't enough ahead to get the Hawaiian shirt giveaway they had.  I think Craig's dad was most disappointed, but thankfully we were able to get one from the people behind us.  

Our seats were down at the end of the third base line.  Luckily we could just see the scoreboard and most of the cool skyline view.
  

The buildings and the yellow Roberto Clemente Bridge create such a neat view.

When we got there, the Pirate Parrot was hitting balls in the outfield.  Fun fact: I knew the Pirate Parrot of the early 2000s.  He was the Bisons' mascot Chip when I interned there in 1999, and shortly thereafter ended up in Pittsburgh for a few years.  He was so talented--super silly, and he could do flips!  I Googled him while we were there and he's now just a real estate agent, apparently.  

The beginning of the game was quite a dud.  The Pirates were no-hit through five innings and ended up down 10-0.  We decided to take a walk once we made sure to see our favorite, the Great Pierogy Race!  We love watching the silly pierogies!  

They came back through the walkway afterward, and they just crack me up.

We were excited to wander around the park because we knew there was a lot to see along the outfield walkway.  There are tons of photo ops in the park.  This one was in the concourse.

The outfield walkway has a beautiful view....

...plus a lot of kid-friendly things, including a series of giant bobbleheads!

From our seats we could see this back there, which was new since last time.  It was a giant pirate ship-themed climbing thing, but Carter determined he was a little too big to fit.

We made our way through the walkway down to the kids' baseball field that Jacob absolutely loved when he was little, and much to everyone's chagrin it had been repurposed solely into a playground area.  The base paths had little pedestals of different heights to walk across.  No more whiffle bats and balls to try to hit a homer into the river.  Quite honestly, it's probably way safer and better to do this, but the boys were rather miffed, especially since Carter was never big enough to play on it.  He stood on a baseball instead!

There was a cool photo op nearby, too.  Don't be surprised if this makes it on to our Christmas card!

One more on the way back to the seats...

The Pirates scored a couple runs just as we got back, which at least added a little interest to the game, but they were still behind by a bunch.  I forgot to mention that the game had been delayed in the beginning because of bad weather nearby, and while it didn't actually rain at the stadium, the weather remained iffy all game.  There were a couple sprinkles and lots of clouds, but the rain seemed to pass to the north and south and it was mostly just oppressively hot and humid.  

But sometimes it looked pretty threatening!

The Pirates had an amazing eighth inning, scoring six runs and getting it to 11-8.  And just as they were getting ready for the top of the ninth, the rain started.  The grounds crew must have known something we didn't, because they sprinted out there likes bats outta hell, scaling over the walls to get the tarp out.  We considered getting out the ponchos, but initially we were sort of half blocked by the overhang.  But then it rained harder and we realized it was time to head for cover.  We went up to the concourse and just hung out for a bit.  

I pulled tarp in my intern days and it sucked.  So dirty and wet and heavy...and slightly terrifying if you're small and slow and could get swallowed up by it.

The rain really started to come down, flooding out the warning track and scaring away all but the most crazy fans.  Notice how the seats under the cover are totally jammed (the upper deck is hard to see but it was happening there, too) and there are just a few holdouts in the rain!

After probably 15 minutes, the rain started to clear.  I noticed the sun coming out and shining on the buildings, so I braved the drips and went down to see if there was a rainbow.  There wasn't, but it was cute because I ran into an older woman on the steps who asked me if I was looking for one, too!  A few minutes later the sun was even brighter, so I tried again, and sure enough, there it was!

On my way back up the steps I saw the woman again and let her know it was there now, so she rushed down to catch it!

The grounds crew looked like they had completely botched the removal of the tarp--they dumped so much water in the front part of left field that they had to squeegee it out for a while, but somehow it worked.  They got in an uneventful last inning--so much for the comeback--and that was it.  But at least we got the game in!  We snapped a pic of the cool Willie Stargell statue on the way out.  It's so big!

We were stuck in the parking ramp forever despite half the stadium clearing out early, and finally got to our hotel in the middle of another downpour.  It turned out to be a cool room--there was actually a trundle bed under the couch at the far end, and a divider desk.  It gave us suitcase room and an extra changing space if the divider was closed.  We were thinking of going out and grabbing dinner, but it was pretty late and there weren't a lot of Jacob-friendly places anyway, so we opted to snack in the room and get some sleep.

I can't say it was the best night of sleep I've had.  The bed was comfortable, the air conditioning made no noise, and Carter barely moved an inch overnight, but the train went by about half a dozen times.  Ugh.

Tracks are to the right.  In the distance is a prominent sports medicine building with the Steelers logo on it.

The river was to the left, and as you can see, it was a lovely morning for a baseball game...NOT.

We were a bit worried about the weather again for game two.  It had rained all morning.  It looked like it could let up for the afternoon, but the game start time looked iffy again.  We grabbed hotel breakfast and packed up in time to check out around 11.  We headed over to the stadium and ended up parking right near a really cool store with gear for all the Pittsburgh teams.  Did you know the Steelers' mascot is named Steely McBeam?  We walked down to the stadium and got Carter his Kids' Day giveaway, a pair of sunglasses, which were definitely not needed at that point, but good to have since he has long outgrown his kid ones and our adult ones are just a tad too big.  We walked through the concourse looking for food options since lunch was imminent.  We passed by a bird's-eye view of the kids area.  You can see the former baseball field from here.

My father-in-law is a long-time Pirates fan (and enjoys his beverages) so we couldn't resist getting a picture of him near the Skull Bar!

We found Craig's mom the pierogy stand (the food, not the racers) and she ate at a table in the outfield pre-game.  The rain dripped on and off while we waited.  At times it was almost cool despite the crazy humidity, but by later it was plenty warm again--though not at warm as the previous day.  In between drizzles, Craig took a picture of the boys and me. 

The shirts that Carter and I are wearing were both freebies from past games.  They were both a little big on us, but we made them work!  Craig's dad wore his jersey like that the previous day, and I wore one like Carter's shirt.  Jacob had been looking for a shirt with the 90s version of the Pirate all weekend and finally found one at the store we stopped in on our walk in.  Also, how is he so tall? 

So, when Craig bought these tickets, he did so thinking they were covered.  In most stadiums the 200 level is below the upper deck, so he thought there would be shade.  He figured that's why they were a bit more than our previous seats, but we figured out the previous day that they did not have shade after all.  But guess what they did have?  A super nice club level concourse complete with bars and restaurants and nice bathrooms.  It would have been a huge respite had it poured like the previous day, but in the end, it did not.  But the view from up there was pretty outstanding, and I did appreciate nicer bathrooms.

I took this panorama shot since all of my individual pics didn't really capture the awesomeness of the view.

I also had the presence of mind to take a picture of Craig's parents and all the boys.  The boys were happy to be making memories with their grandparents, and I thought it was important to capture this moment--which was easier on this day with a few empty seats nearby, compared to the sellout the previous day where we were just content to be sardined in.

We had a really nice view of the batter, too.  This was my camera that can zoom, but it looked pretty close to this with the naked eye.

The game started a little better because the Pirates got a home run early, and I managed to zoom in on the ball where it landed by the "Pirates" shrubbery in the outfield.

We almost missed the pierogy race because we were heading out to grab lunch, but it started just before we walked out.  I fumbled around trying to find my camera to zoom in, but just caught the end of the race with my phone camera.  A shark took out Jalapeno Hannah who had a big lead, and Bacon Burt won!

Carter and I had Primanti Bros. for lunch, but we determined that Carter definitely does NOT like the cole slaw or tomatoes on his sandwich.  I guess the fries alone are special enough!  We had another favorite, Chickie & Pete's crab fries, the day before, but I was super annoyed they were standard crinkle fries and not the skinnier ones you usually get.  Next time I think I'm getting the Chickie & Pete's cheesesteak.  It looked amazing.

Before we left home, I had fished our old Pirate Parrot out of the stuffed animal basket in our basement.  He hitchhiked with us to the games, and I decided to have a little fun when we were trying to rally the Pirates after the Brewers took a more commanding lead late in the game.  

Carter was annoyed his hat was turned in this one, but it was such a cute picture I had to include it!

The Pirates lost again, and we headed out to the concourse for a bathroom break before heading home.  As we were walking out, Jacob noticed that the scoreboard mentioned kids running the bases!  We thought they still had it on Sundays, but we hadn't seen anything about it and the website no longer mentioned it.  But apparently it was happening, and since Carter was too small to do it last time, we wanted to get him his chance.  But we knew we were running late at this point, so we rushed down to get in what we knew would be an eternally long line, but one that moves pretty good once it gets going.  Sure enough, the line stretched along the entire outfield walkway.  We hopped on what we thought was the end of the line, but after the fact I realized it may have actually turned a corner and gone down a whole other walkway.  But in that moment no one stopped us and there was a sign about the line starting there about five feet away, and I think a couple people hopped in at the same point we did.  Who knows, but I'm pretty sure everyone got to run anyway, so ultimately it was maybe an extra five or ten minutes.  Oh well.  It was cool to go down the back tunnel (where the players drive in, I think, based on the valet parking) and on to the field near the first base foul pole.

Carter did his run, and unlike his big brother at age two (haha), he followed the rules and did not bolt for the pitcher's mound as he neared home plate.  We still remember the desperate workers running after him, since Craig was still recovering from his torn calf and was probably half a step slow.  Legendary.  Carter enjoyed his run, and even got a bonus baseball ice pack on his way off the field. 

Arriving at home

Happy selfie on our way off the field

By this point the weather had cleared nicely and afforded a nice picture outside the stadium.

We decided to take a little detour on our way out of town.  Craig's dad always talks about Forbes Field, which he went to in the 60s before the Pirates built Three Rivers Stadium.  I knew the Forbes Field outfield wall still existed on the campus of the University of Pittsburgh, and I thought it might be fun to take him there.  We got a little turned around by bad GPS on the way, but I got this fun shot of the paddleboat, football field (recently home to the biggest attended event in Pittsburgh EVER, a Taylor Swift concert), and the cool fountain at Point State Park.  We also drove under the pedestrian bridge for the Incline Railway.  Someday I want to get Carter on that.  I think he'd get a kick out of it.

We made it to the spot, which was actually super close to the Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens, where I saw one of my favorite Chihuly exhibits ever on the trip before I found out I was pregnant with Jacob.  I liked this part of the wall because of the ivy...

But the corner below was the farthest point of the outfield wall, and it was neat to see it because it gave a really easy point of reference to look at old pictures and see that odd corner.  There's now a road going through the outfield and a bunch of campus buildings across the street where the infield and stands were.  Apparently home plate is under glass in a nearby building, but it's about 15 feet off its actual spot because that would be in the ladies room!

It was a neat little stop and felt like a nice way to end the trip.  The trip back to Buffalo had more rain, but overall wasn't bad.  Craig was a trooper.  I actually used my laptop to watch a movie I had put on my computer ahead of a different trip, which was fun.  I picked "My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2", which felt appropriate post-anniversary, and everyone thought I was nuts because I was crying laughing at one point.  It's such a cute movie, and I can't wait for the third one in a few more months!  We stopped at Jersey Mike's in Erie for dinner, and did a bathroom stop at Craig's parents, so in the end it was a rather late night--we didn't get to my parents' until after 10:30, which meant our initial meeting with my brother's girlfriend (they've been together almost two years, I think, but this was her first time visiting) was brief and tired (they traveled most of the day, too), but pleasant.  We stayed over and were able to hang out a bit through mid-afternoon the next day to get to know her a bit, which was nice.  She left today and now Kate and Max have arrived from time with their mom's family in Massachusetts, so we're hoping to have a couple opportunities to see them while they're here.  It was a great weekend leading into a week off for me (yay), and I'm so glad we finally had the chance to get back to Pittsburgh!

20 Years

Continuing last week's theme of undercelebrated milestones, here's another one--our 20th wedding anniversary today.  It ended up not being as uncelebrated as it could have been, however.  We were supposed to have soccer tonight, which would have guaranteed a very understated celebration--we were thinking ice cream after the game--but the game got canceled earlier today due to the return of Canadian wildfire smoke.  Ironically tomorrow's game, which was supposed to be one of three this week, is a rescheduled one from when the smoke overtook everything a few weeks ago.  Because we didn't have a lot of time to plan, we ended up doing dinner out at Olive Garden (when you don't usually get to go there it feels fancy), and then picked the kids up and got ice cream with them as a "thank you" for letting us have dinner alone.  Ha.  Not too bad, but for an anniversary that feels trip-worthy, I think it still qualifies as undercelebrated.  Anyway...

Twenty years is a long time.  Just hearing that makes me feel a little old.  Then the flower girl/ring bearer pictures from the wedding a couple weeks ago added another layer to that.  It's fine--I mean, we're not actually old--but this is still a pretty significant milestone and it represents a significant chunk of our lives.  We both have parents that have surpassed 50 years, so in comparison we've only just begun.  We got married a bit later so I'm not sure that's in the cards for us--and if it is it might be a romantic dinner at the senior home--but 20 at least feels somewhat "older and wiser", I guess...in a good way.  These days it seems like not a lot of people make it here, so it's definitely an accomplishment.

It felt like it took forever just to get to five years, which happened a little over a week after Jacob was born.  We had just brought him home from the hospital the day before so we didn't do much celebrating.  I'm not even sure we had the energy to figure out takeout, but I wouldn't have wanted to cook either, so I'm not sure what we did.  By 10 years, we had two kids (including a newborn).  I just read my blog post about that, and I realized it was still pretty positive because that was just weeks before the worst of Jacob's issues became apparent.  We'd had a couple flashes by that point of what was to come, but the complete decimation of our chaotic but comparatively peaceful home life was still ahead of us.  Our challenges as a couple up until then had been pretty typical and manageable, but I will be the first to say that over the last 10 years our marriage has taken a lot of blows because it's pretty hard to harmoniously work through problems where solutions aren't clear and your personalities each default to a different tactic.  We've disagreed a lot on how to handle Jacob and both felt overloaded a lot of the time, which leads to burnout and a lot of resentment when things feel unbalanced.  We've managed, but suffice it to say that romance can be hard to come by when you're stressed.  We haven't been away without kids for more than a couple nights at a time since Jacob was born, which probably means we could use some extended couple bonding time to remember how much fun we can really have by ourselves.  Hopefully someday soon, especially now that we have an anniversary to pin it on.

While I was aware of the years continuing to pile up after 5 and 10, life was too busy to do much more than pause for a moment to appreciate it and try to find a quick way to celebrate with dinner out, which wasn't always easy.  Nowadays we can leave the boys for the evening, so that part is getting easier--it's just working around everyone's schedules that's gotten harder.  Maybe it didn't feel like time was flying when we were in the midst of these past 10 years, but looking back, that period has gone faster than ever and it's crazy to realize two whole decades have passed.  That's a lot of years and a lot of experience, and sometimes I still feel too young for any of it. 

I'd love the chance to just hop back in time to that week, to relive what seemed like a pretty perfect day and a dream-come-true honeymoon.  That time just seems simpler and lighter and more carefree, for obvious reasons--no kids, no COVID, less political strife, fewer health concerns, more living relatives, and our whole world laid out in front of us, going into it together with that special invincibility of two people who just had the best day of their lives.  We had such an amazing wedding day, followed by a family picnic the next day (which was nice because I probably didn't get to talk to my relatives much at the wedding), and we left for our honeymoon the day after that.  It was such a fun few days followed by a week of surreal, exciting, and relaxing bliss.  Not to mention that two weeks off work at that point was nearly unheard of for me, and it was downright incredible after the stress of wedding planning and a couple years of very long work days and busy seasons.  I also hadn't been on a plane since I was nine, so flying across the country was pretty unreal for multiple reasons.  Going anywhere interesting, let alone to entirely new climates and places, was so much fun.  We watched our honeymoon camcorder video a couple years ago for the first time in ages, and it was pretty entertaining.  I remember so many of those moments, but seeing them like that brought everything back even more vividly--and was a clear reminder that we were so young (and euphorically silly) at the time!

As I looked through our wedding pictures in preparation to write this, it just blows my mind how we can still look a lot like that young couple in the pictures, but yet so much has changed.  A few pounds here, a couple smile lines there, and for Craig, a little less hair.  And why did I think I was fat back then?  I was deliriously happy all day, and you can pretty much see that in the pictures.  But looking back I think I spent half the day just trying to make it through a series of rituals that I'd spent half my life watching other people do, and now it was my turn.  I never liked being the center of attention--although doing it on the day you're the most beautiful woman in the room isn't half bad--so I think a lot of that day had a preoccupation with doing things that I'd probably otherwise consider embarrassing, but I knew it was my duty to do them.  I just wanted to get married, but part of that was taking a deep breath and smiling through any awkwardness as I walked down the aisle...did the first kiss in front of everyone...fed each other cake...danced...all things that would probably mortify me on a regular day but had to be okay that day.  And I promise, they were...I had a blast.  But 20-years-later me is sort of impressed I made it through all of that!

Nowadays I watch weddings with a little bit of nostalgia, a little bit of jealousy, and a little bit of concern.  I think back to that amazing day and how much fun it was, and I'm so glad someone else gets to have their dream come true.  I'm sad that we can't relive ours or be those bright-eyed kids again.  But I also watch it all with this nagging knowledge that it only gets harder from there.  I know that sounds jaded and sad, but it's true.  That day is wonderful and amazing, maybe to only be equaled by the birth of your kids or select few big milestones.  The day-to-day pales in comparison, and there's a lot more of that than the exciting stuff.  Almost everyone goes into their wedding day thinking they've got this figured out and they'll be fine, and yet...statistics show about half are wrong.  Maybe it takes a year, maybe it takes 10, maybe it takes 40, but it happens.  Even 20 years in it scares me a little, not because I doubt us or anyone else we see get married, but because life is unpredictable.  People and circumstances change.  When I find out someone we know is divorcing, I always wish I could ask what happened so I could have one more nugget of knowledge in my back pocket to keep in mind for my own marriage.  We know the obvious ones like treat each other well and don't cheat, but when you hear about ones that faded away slowly or something just flipped years in, those are the scary ones.  What was the first dent in the armor?  What was the first sign of trouble?  Even 20 years in I overthink all of that because I don't want to miss little things that could suddenly turn into something big.  

I can't say I'm a marriage expert, but at this point it's very clear that it takes a lot of upkeep.  Most of it is "good work" and can be fun, but some is harder.  It takes keeping your eyes open and seeing your spouse through their strengths and weaknesses.  It takes picking up the slack but knowing when the balance is unnecessarily out of whack and righting it before it becomes a sticking point.  You have to support one another, and while that's not always going to be even, it needs to be honest--don't take more from your spouse than you actually need.  I saw something the other day about giving your spouse your "number" for the day and communicating that you need them to offer up more than the usual 50% when you're running low, just for that day.  I don't remember what their solution was for when you're both below 50 and can't reach 100, but I feel like it wasn't a sufficient explanation for me.  I liked the concept, but whatever the end was, it rang a little hollow.  Because I won't lie, lately we've both been running below 50 pretty regularly, mostly because of our morning and basketball struggles with Jacob.  It feels like survival mode more than we'd like.  We're getting through but I know we probably need to be proactive sooner rather than later to recharge.  I guess it's a good sign that I know that, right?  When someone gives up or doesn't care, that's when you know there's trouble.  We're not there, thankfully.  Sometimes there's the temptation to let it ride and be okay with the low periods until you get through the hard parts, but I'm sure there are people who have done that and come out the other side completely alienated from one another.  I don't want to risk that either.  It's a daily challenge to be a good spouse, but I guess luckily we both have a lot of empathy for the other right now because we're both struggling.  It's not the best thing to bond over, but for now maybe it's enough.

I think looking at our pictures as I get older increasingly reminds me how young and naive I was.  That girl had no idea what she was getting into.  She was happy and in love and everything made sense, so that was all she needed.  She said the vows and meant them, but definitely didn't picture some of this stuff.  I suppose in a lot of ways it's like what most couples go through when they have kids--you think you're ready, but you're never really ready.  Mind you, that's totally okay.  It's how the world works--if any of us knew what was ahead in marriage or parenthood we'd be paralyzed in fear.  Clearly I wasn't totally unprepared--we've made it work this long so the tools were obviously there.  But older me feels slightly embarrassed that younger me thought she had it all figured out.  

I don't mean for all of this to sound negative.  I feel really blessed that we've made it this far.  It's been a heck of a ride and we've made a ton of memories.  I wish things had been a little easier at times and that we had a little more flexibility to get that alone/recharge time we've desperately needed, but we're still here.  It's just a lot clearer now, 20 years in, that youthful euphoria only goes so far, and once the figurative honeymoon is over, there's a lot more to marriage than meets the eye.  It's a privilege to get to this point--many worthy people were denied that chance--and in the end it's worth the work.  It's special to have the opportunity to share so much of your life with one person and I'm thankful we have that.  I just can't quite believe it's been 20 years (plus two).

And now, just for fun...

Happy Anniversary Craig!