Triple the Fun

It ended up being a pretty awesome three-day weekend.  After a long pandemic stretch where days like this were unheard of, sometimes it was downright surreal...even if there were constant reminders that the pandemic isn't actually over and we're merely doing our best to cobble together much-needed time with our people while doing what we can to minimize risk.  Throughout the last year and a half, so many people have insisted we need to learn how to live with this virus.  In many ways I hate to admit they're right--but I think we can only truly say that now after doing our best to contain it for so long and essentially failing.  I believe we had to do what we did initially to buy some time, attempt to eradicate it, and protect who we could until the science and medicine could figure out how to make things easier.  Hindsight is always 20/20 and maybe we should have done lockdowns and other things differently, but it's becoming ever clearer now that this virus is going to continue to evolve and very little is going to stop it.  Vaccines did well for a bit until the delta variant showed up, but now we can't rely on that either.  I'm hoping people will learn to embrace masks if it means we can keep things open and continue to socialize safely, but so many are still resistant to the one thing we have that can reliably make a difference for the vaccinated and unvaccinated alike.  It's disheartening to be here again, particularly a few weeks before school with the south's schools already showing what a train wreck this year might be, but regardless--this past weekend felt like a prime example of trying to live our lives to the fullest in the midst of a pandemic once again.  

Saturday was another wedding on Craig's side, this time for another cousin.  We came into town a little early to get some time with my brother and his kids that had come into town the night before, and (unlike last time) have a reasonable amount of time to get ready.  For me that involved setting up inflatable mattresses, dressing, and curling my hair while on an extended family reunion Zoom call!  We miss that annual picnic, but hopefully next year.

The ceremony and reception were both in one spot.  It was a bit of a non-traditional ceremony, from a rather awkward officiant to the bride and groom's nearly three-year-old son getting a little rambunctious!  But the bride was as stunning as I expected--with a gown that was a perfect mix of sexy, sparkly, and romantic.  I'd have expected nothing less of her!  And as for us, it was nice to get another evening away.   

One of the tough parts of the wedding was COVID worry.  I mean, cases have been on the rise with a variant that's highly transmissible, primarily indoors.  Indoor mask wearing is recommended, but there are no mandates at this point, so pretty much everywhere you go the majority of people are unmasked.  And particularly at an event like this, it was weird.  We didn't know most people so we had no idea of everyone's vaccine status.  But everything was indoors (unlike the last wedding where most socializing was outside), so we opted to mask up.  We were the only ones.  We wore them when we first came in, and I wore mine every time I left the table.  We mostly kept them off at the table and in chatting with vaccinated relatives (including two who also had COVID previously), since it was a smaller group and we knew their status.  But I'll take the awkwardness over being part of a super-spreader event any day.  

Unfortunately, last year the bride had a bit of a falling-out with some of the family over Facebook, so it meant that most of the usual extended family wasn't there.  It ended up just being Craig's parents, his brother and our sister-in-law, and two other sets of aunts and uncles, plus the mother and sister of the bride.  The groom had a handful of older relatives on his side and beyond that probably 95% of the attendees were late-20-somethings.  By the end of the night, I officially felt old, like all of those older relatives you see at every wedding who sit in the corner and smile at the "kids" on the dance floor.  There were lots of short, tight dresses, body art, shirtless guys, a couple exposures (!), and crazy dancing!  And you know, I was actually perfectly fine feeling old--I'm just not built for that stuff anymore!

It was an interesting night back at the house, with all four kids and three adults making pizza and playing Farkle and pool.  It sounded like they had a good night--probably helped that Carter won at Farkle!  With John's family taking over our usual digs, we had to set up shop in the basement.  We brought along two air mattresses that seemed to keep their air, along with Carter's crib mattress that usually lives under our bed.  We figured at the very least he'd sleep well!  I can't say I slept great, but I definitely rested pretty decently--enough to have a pretty good day Sunday and not fall asleep driving home in the evening!

We started the day with church (again, we were the only masked ones--but again, no thanks on the super-spreader), and then after lunch the boys wanted to go to the outlets so they dropped me off to see my godson!  They were in town for the Billy Joel concert the previous night (that seemingly half of WNY went to), and it was lovely to get some time to hang out, catch up, and play.  Mason is so interactive now!  I brought him some little stuff saved from my kids, some of which didn't sell at the garage sale but was worth keeping--stacking cups, an Oball car, a stuffed Snoopy, a wooden caterpillar rattle, a little wooden bus, and a cute "Jesus Loves Me" book that we had a duplicate of.  That's just the start of my stash that will be doled out at appropriate stages!  He was such a sweet boy and it was great to see him sitting up and rolling and pushing up...and flashing that adorable smile (and a few teeth)!

After the boys picked me up, we headed to my aunt's house for a picnic my cousin's wife planned just because John and the kids were in town.  The weather was perfect and it was a nice opportunity to see family, including another cousin's wife and daughter that I haven't seen in at least a couple years due to COVID and not having our mutual limited visits match up well.  I got to meet my cousin's new baby, Lincoln, who's just around a month old.  His big sister Emmy loved my niece Kate!  It was just nice to see people and hang out outside where we felt most comfortable.  I really appreciated the time with John's kids, and Max and Carter played particularly well together, sometimes along with Jacob.  Max and Carter also got the job of hosing off the trays we used for dinner!  They'd get formally washed later, but this was helpful for transporting them relatively cleanly.  It was pretty funny to watch. 

We made a quick pitstop on the way home (had to check for something at a different Kohl's while I had 30% off), then got on the road.  We had to get some good rest because Carter and I had a big day on Monday!  It was time for his first trip to Darien Lake--and my first trip in probably 20 years!  Originally we were going to go on Tuesday, but the weather took a turn late last week and Tuesday had thunderstorms in the forecast.  So I rearranged my entire work schedule to do Monday instead.  Unfortunately it meant Craig couldn't go because of unchangeable work commitments, which then made Jacob not want to go.  Jacob isn't a big fan of rides (he's always done fine at Seabreeze but insists he doesn't like them, and Darien has a lot more thrill rides) and he was relying on Craig to be his key to a full day at the waterpark.  He waffled back and forth for days, right up until the last moment.  Eventually my recommendation was that if he felt he couldn't be patient and nor complain while we went on rides, he should stay home.  So he did.  After all of that switching around, we woke up to Monday having a 40% chance of rain, rather than the 4% it had for days.  Seriously?!  We forged ahead anyway--no choice since I pre-purchased the tickets at a discount--and each drove from our respective homes to meet at the park.  

I feel like I'm very out of amusement park mode.  I mean, we did Seabreeze a couple years in a row before COVID hit, but that's such a different park--smaller, mostly chill rides.  I was in a much better groove 20 years ago when I went to five amusement parks in two summers.  I had it all down--proper footwear, proper timing for bathing suits and board shorts to properly hit up waterparks and water rides, how to eat to maintain energy but not get sick on crazy rides.  But now I'm old and need a Dramamine just to ride most stuff, and coordinating all that other stuff felt overwhelming.  But I ended up with what I thought would work, and off we went.

Going back to Darien Lake brought back a ton of memories.  I went there a couple times right around college, but not only did we usually go once a summer when I was a kid, but we had season passes for a summer when I was 11 going on 12 (I think).  That was amazing, and I have so many memories from that summer.  Having not been there much since I was a teenager, a lot of those memories flew back whenever we passed by something that marked that season pass summer for me--the Fascination game parlor, the old waterpark location, the former spots of old favorite rides.  The Viper was my first big rollercoaster when I was nine, the now-gone Ranger pushed me to learn how to handle being upside-down, and the waterpark was probably some of the best family bonding we had.  The whole day was a constant back-and-forth of, "This new stuff is awesome" and "Man, I miss that."

We decided to start with a newer ride (for us), the Motocoaster.  It's sort of like a wild mouse with its crazy turns, but you're riding a motorcycle!  It also has a launch rather than a lift hill.  We unsuccessfully tried to get Max to go on, but Carter, Kate, and I ended up riding twice in a row so the person staying with him could still ride.  It was deceptively fast, especially at the launch!  Carter looked a little nervous at first, probably because it was more intense than we thought, but it was a great start that left us all laughing at how fun and crazy it was! 

Next up we went on the very tall Sky Screamer!  My mom and I loved the one at Fantasy Island a few years ago, so seeing this one (which is much taller) was exciting!  Carter, Kate, my mom and I all went on, and John and Max headed to the antique cars instead.  

Carter was a bit nervous and a little quiet for the beginning of the ride because of the height, but ended up liking it!

I would have taken pictures from up top, but the breeze was so bad at 35mph that I didn't dare try to pull out my phone!  But the views were lovely!  Back on the ground (ever-so-slightly dizzy but not bad), we headed back to the cars to catch Max's driving abilities. 

After that we tried to ride the Viper but hit it just as everyone was coming out of the line after it closed for some reason.  Then we found out the looping Rolling Thunder (the Ranger's replacement) and Tantrum, one of the newer coasters I desperately wanted to ride, were both closed.  In fact, a lot of stuff didn't look much like it was running.  We were constantly eyeing up coaster lift hills and got a little nervous when they all seemed quiet.  A bit dejected at all the closed stuff, we grabbed horrifically overpriced food (seriously, over $15 for just nachos and a pretzel?!) and ate while watching boats come down Shipwreck Falls, the boat ride with the giant splash and the big bridge.  Always hilarious!

Then we decided to head off to the water park before the rain hit, and spent a solid three hours there.  No pictures from there, but we had a ton of fun!  The boys spent some time at the big climbing gym/spray park/wading pool area, where Max eventually worked up courage to ride a smaller water slide.  In the meantime, Kate and I went to the racing slides with my mom.  We laughed a lot just getting into the cold water, then surviving the deluge at the end and finding out from the lifeguard that a lot of women have wardrobe malfunctions there!  Then my mom and brother switched out and we decided to go to the Tornado, which looked like a funnel laying on its side.  It looked innocent enough until you realized that the chute that sends you into the funnel was a very steep one!  I was used to the super long, super fast tunnel on the toilet bowl one at Seabreeze, but this was a whole new ballgame!  We grabbed a quad tube, which was a nightmare to get up top, had to wait a while while gradually hoisting the tube up stairs, and finally made it to the top.  Pretty sure I've never screamed with so much real terror on a water ride, as I ended up going backward down the chute!  It shot us into the funnel so far up the wall I thought we were going to flip!  We got doused with waves as we rocked back and forth (still very high) a couple times, then finally shot out the bottom.  We were laughing hysterically!  When we made it back to my mom, she decided she wanted to try it, and on the way I came across Carter who also did, so my mom, Kate, Carter, and me headed back over!  Getting the raft up was even worse that time (apparently my brother is pretty strong), but eventually we made it.  Once again, it was a pretty overwhelming ride (and the new riders were pretty shocked!), but we all loved it.

We moved on to a set of more traditional tube slides and waited forever for one ride--before we even got tubes!  But Max rode, which was fun, even if he said it was just okay.  Then Kate and Carter decided they wanted to ride the body tube slides where the floor drops out from under you.  I was a little nervous considering you get deluged at the end, but after a long wait where the rest of us just hung out and people watched, they came down pretty exhilarated!  Carter is insisting I ride whenever we go back!  We finished off our time with another long wait for the slide with round, four-person rafts.  We had to split into two groups of three--Carter, Kate, and me, and John, my mom, and Max.  We went first, and as our raft sloshed high on the first turn wall, we cringed a little because the chill-looking ride was a bit more active than we expected and Max was hoping for calm!  We watched them come down after us, and while he wasn't too sure about it, he made it through and even sort of liked it!  Overall I think we did a good job of pushing his boundaries and trying to teach him that scary things can be okay.

We decided that was enough and we were ready for rides again, and headed back to change.  As we exited the changing rooms and met back at the locker, we felt drops of rain.  We checked our phones and sure enough, there was a big blob of green rain on the radar.  It looked like it was going to hit soon and continue all night until closing time, which was a huge bummer since we hadn't ridden the big stuff yet.  We rushed off to try to ride Ride of Steel, the 200-foot-tall coaster that's among my all-time favorites.  Carter was too short to ride, so my mom took him and Max to a couple rides, and John, Kate, and I braved the hour wait.  It took forever, especially once we realized there was a Fast Pass system, but it was well worth it!  Well, my brother might disagree since the last adjustment on the lap restraint ended up being rather painful for him, but Kate and I couldn't help but laugh at the noise he made!  We had so much fun, and Kate loved her first big coaster!  Nothing quite like a crazy drop and 73 mph!  I had forgotten how much I missed that rush! 

Ride of Steel...so high!

Somehow it was still only dripping when we left, so then we headed for the Boomerang to get Kate and Carter their first looping coaster experience.  I originally didn't want to ride the Boomerang at all.  That one and Mind Eraser are crappy Vekoma coasters that rock your head, and I swore I wouldn't ride them at any park ever again, after one like Mind Eraser at Canada's Wonderland gave me what I swear was a mild concussion.  I had the worst headache for the rest of the day after that one.  But with it being a big first for Kate and Carter, and after my mom opted out, I decided I'd brave it.  The rain picked up a little while we were in line, but still nothing terrible.  In looking at the radar later, it was almost like the rain was dissipating as it hit our area--maybe a miracle, as I was praying we'd get to finish out the day!  And sure enough, we did--it never rained any harder than a steady sprinkle despite the radar blob consistently moving toward us.  Anyway, Boomerang was predictably rough--my head hurt for a few minutes after--but Carter and Kate enjoyed it and were very excited to have finally gone through loops--both forward and backward!

Boomerang in the background

By that point we were all too starving to fit in another ride before what we thought was the inevitable deluge of rain, so we headed off to find food.  This food was even more overpriced--$9 for a slice of pizza!!  It was insane, but we had to eat.  However, we ate carefully so we'd be ready to ride the now re-opened Viper!  My mom decided to ride this one since she'd done it so many times before...never mind it had been 20 years or more!  It was a bit of a wait, but not terrible.  We took an aunt-niece selfie to kill time...

Overall it was just disappointing that it seemed every line in the park moved more slowly than it needed to--because the coasters only had one train, they didn't do single rider calls, and the waterslides had very limited tubes.  Anyway, the Viper track is basically seared in my memory--partly because it was my first big coaster (eyes closed the entire ride and all brought on by a bribe for a Skipper Teen doll!) and partly because I've probably ridden it more than any other coaster.  It was fun sharing it with Carter, though, going down the familiar small hill at the top of the lift hill with the anticipation of the bigger one that goes right into a loop and a heart loop!  It was a little rough, much like the Boomerang but not as bad (although my mom banged her ears pretty good), but the kids had fun.  Kate liked Ride of Steel better, of course, but she was glad she did it.  I think Carter was more excited by Boomerang because the lift hills there made it seem faster, but he liked it, too.

The Viper!

Time was running really short with the park closing at 7pm (stupid pandemic), so we headed toward the front of the park with the goal of trying to hit up one more ride.  It was one more walk down memory lane for me.  While some parts of the park were almost unrecognizable with new rides or missing ones, the one thing that stood out most was the remains of the Giant Wheel.  This was once the tallest ferris wheel in North America and was one of my favorites going back to a time when I didn't ride a lot of rides.  That was one I could always do.  It had amazing views, and I especially loved it when the park lights came on.  Not only was the night view cool from above, but the wheel itself was covered in lights and did all sorts of patterns as it spun.  This year when the park opened, all the gondolas were off and eventually a sign about its retirement was posted.  It's sad, though I do hope they decide to replace it with something cool.

For our last rides, the boys and Kate went to the bumper cars, and my mom and I went to the drop tower.  One of my favorite amusement park memories took place 23 years ago when we went to Cedar Point and they'd just installed a massive 4-legged drop tower.  Two legs shot you up fast, two legs took you up slow and dropped you.  My mom and I decided to go on it, not too sure about it, but intrigued.  Cedar Point had Demon Drop which was another freefall, but that one was a little harsh and this seemed a bit gentler...aside from the crazy height and speed.  Watching faces of riders returning to the ground, we got a little nervous, and I'm pretty sure we screamed like crazy when we dropped--it was incredible and scary at the same time!  But it definitely felt like a victory when we were done.  This one was a lot smaller, but same concept.  We got in line just before they shut it off, and we waited just long enough that the bumper car crew was able to make it over before we went.  We did the math and realized that there weren't enough people for two full rides, so she ducked under the chain and joined us (someone else did it right before--we felt less guilty after that).  We actually got on as three singles on the second to last run, and it was simply lovely!  This one shoots you up quick and then you freefall, which is actually a bit less of a shock to the system than a full drop.  It still has that crazy freefall feeling on the first drop, but just not quite as terrifying since you're already in motion.  My mom said she could have done that all day!

After that it was time to go.  I snapped a shot of the lovely LED-lit Sky Screamer across the lake (which was actually the first ride we spotted from the road that morning) and headed to grab our locker contents and say our goodbyes.  

It was hard to say goodbye to the kids knowing it would be a long time before we saw them again, but we had a great day of memories to tide us over.  It was so great seeing them, particularly after such a long time and a lot of growing up over these past 20 months!  They were switched to their mom's possession yesterday to spend time with her family in Massachusetts, but we'll see my brother one more time before he goes home Sunday.  My goal in a couple years (once COVID gives us enough of a break to do Disney first) is to travel out their way.  We can visit, show the boys the Pacific Northwest, and I can finally get to Chihuly Gardens and Glass!

Carter and I were beat, but we couldn't resist one more stop on the way home.  Icees are usually my amusement park must-have, but because they were so expensive in the park, we totally stopped at the gas station on the way home to get $1 Freezes!  I'll take two bucks over $14 any day!  We also had a pretty sunset on the drive, too.  

 

Carter has been talking about the trip almost non-stop since we got home, to the point I had to scold him for how he was talking to Jacob about not going.  I think he takes a lot of pride in being braver than Jacob, and since he's not used to being in any position of superiority over him, he's definitely milking it a bit.  I've been doing a lot of internet research on height restrictions at other parks, and I discovered that Carter is actually tall enough to ride my all-time favorite coaster, Millennium Force at Cedar Point.  Despite Ride of Steel being 54", Millennium Force is only 48" despite being 100 feet higher and 20+ mph faster!  I'm not sure how that works, but it's pretty shocking.  Even still, the tallest height restrictions everywhere are 54", so considering he's 51" now, we either have to hope for one heck of a growth spurt, or just start making plans now for two summers ahead to hit up Cedar Point before I'm too old to do this stuff!  I'd also like to do Hersheypark, which tends to be on some travel basketball routes, and hit up Kennywood Park in Pittsburgh again, too.  That one's probably a bit more family friendly (even Craig did okay on a couple coasters there years back), so maybe one of these summers.  I think I have created a bit of a monster--and reawakened the beast in myself, as well!  But it was a really great day after two solid days and I'm so thrilled we had that time to make some memories.

News & Notes, Two Playgrounds and a Side of Stress Edition

Before I get into the "stress" part of this, first let me get through a little photo catch-up from the last week or so.  Last Wednesday I went out for a long bike ride.  It was good to get out and go to an area I hadn't ridden in since we lived at our old house.  I knew what was waiting for me when I got home, though--Carter had just gotten a pack of squirt guns, and I told him he couldn't squirt me until I got home.  And boy, did he ever.  I ended up pretty wet after he was done with me--but thankfully it was a warm night and he was getting warm water from a bucket in the yard, so all was well!

 
The following day was when Craig left for California, and Jacob had a long day at basketball camp.  We had been planning on hitting up a playground during Jacob's training in the evening, but he was just too worn out from camp so training was canceled and we left him at home to rest while I made good on the playground promise.  We ended up at one that we've passed by a bunch but never knew was there.  It's at a school next door to where he played soccer, and while the front playground looked okay, little did we know there was a giant playground in the back that was even better!  A friend of ours posted pictures when he took his kid, and I decided it looked right up Carter's alley!

We tried the front playground first.  It had a lot of money bars and other climbing things, including something that looked like a slide but had parallel bars where the slide would be.  There were a couple spinning things but they needed lubricating.  We did a couple rounds there but quickly made our way around to the back.  It was a pretty great playgound!

In particular I liked the "infinite" monkey bars that went in a full circle!

There was also this cool spider web looking thing!

Carter got caught!

Captured this as we both got to the top!

As I said, it was huge!  There was one bigger area for big kids, and one that was a little better for littler kids.  The little kid one had a cool "hourglass" feature where you could spin something embedded in a wall and tiny metallic balls ran from one of three compartments into other compartments.  Carter liked using it to time himself on his "obstacle course" run. 

It was such a nice night and I couldn't resist taking a selfie in the middle of our playing!

There were a couple fun spinning things on the playground - one that Carter got really good at and another that...well, he just couldn't get a grip on.  I had fun on the one he struggled with, although spinning is SO hard for me now.  I think I need to take Dramamine before we go to Darien Lake next week!

Anyway, we had a lot of fun and he's been talking about it ever since!  So much so we went to another one this week!  But first...

Last week when we dropped Jacob off at basketball camp, Carter said something about seeing a pig on the UR campus.  I had no idea what he was talking about, so the next time we drove by, he made me slow down in a certain area, and sure enough, there it was!  It was a tank creatively painted to look like a pig!  I have driven by that spot both in cars and on golf carts a ton of times and have never noticed it.  I have no idea how long it's been there, but how fun!  Next time I get go-kart duty for reunion weekend, I will definitely be pointing that out!

We definitely missed Craig while he was gone for four days.  He was in California for the college box lacrosse championship, which included one of the teams from the league he helped put together this summer.  It was rather nervewracking having him travel just as COVID was starting to spike everywhere again, but he masked for the vast majority of it, so hopefully all's well.  His team lost the championship in OT, which was a bummer, but it was a great first year and it was nice of that league's existence to help ensure he stayed employed over the last 6-9 months once it was clear the Knighthawks wouldn't be able to play.  The boys and I didn't do much while he was gone, and while they drove me nuts and I was thankful for the reinforcement when he came home (a few hours early, even) , I suppose it could have been worse.  We functioned.  But I'm in no rush for lacrosse season to start and his regular travel to resume--as much as I want normalcy back in general and desperately hope there's a season.

So, as I said, last night Carter and I went to another playground.  This time we went to one that used to be one of his favorites--the playground at his old soccer field.  This is the main part of it.  The tall tower is admittedly pretty cool.  It's higher than it looks here.

Of course, now things are a bit different because a brand new section just opened!  Like literally, the day we went!  I had seen a while back they were building a new accessible playground there, and while we planned to go this week, I didn't realize until the third potential day to go that the ribbon cutting was just that morning!  Unfortunately, the new playground replaced a really popular skate park.  I loved watching the skaters when Carter used to go to the playground.  It seems like taking away from one group that is underserved (teens need a place like that to go) to serve another underserved group--as important as differently abled kids are--is less of a win.  But what they did do was really pretty cool.  

The first piece of equipment was a wall with something that could be spun, a funky mirrored section, and a panel with a hexagon full of marbles that spin in their spots.  I loved them!

There is a swing that's made for kids in wheelchairs, along with friends or caregivers.  There's a bench on the far side, and the wheelchair goes up a ramp and wheels into the near side, and there are bars that fold down in front of both.  You need to get in a good rhythm of pushing and pulling those bars to make the swing move.  It was a little tough, but eventually we got a pretty good hang of it.

The centerpiece of the new space is like a merry-go-round.  Wheelchairs can wheel in, and others can sit on benches.  There's a wheel in the center to help spin it (much like teacups at an amusement park), but it was easier to run around and spin it.

Here's Carter trying to spin it while I'm sitting on it.  Spinning is really rough for me but I did what I could!

Next up was a fun disc swing!

We rode together for a bit, and then Carter swung me.  It felt deceivingly high, but Carter didn't believe me until he got on the swing and I pushed him!

Another section had some instruments--bongos, vertical bells, and a xylophone.  We had fun with those, but I can't help but wonder how long the little mallets will last on their cords.

We played for a little while on the old playground and even walked down the nearby bike path to see what equipment was on the adjacent workout trail there.  We played on a set of parallel bars for a couple minutes but decided we were too low on upper body strength.  It was also a really warm evening, meaning once I wore myself out spinning the merry-go-round I was less excited to try to play tag or hide-and-seek (which I don't play anyway when I am the only one responsible for him and don't want to lose sight of him).  It was about time to head home for dinner anyway, but it was fun to get a chance to enjoy the new playground while it was all shiny and new!

So...as for the stress...as COVID numbers continue to get worse and people continue to deny there's a problem, I just feel like the walls are closing in a bit.  We have a busy few weeks ahead--my brother's family being in town, a wedding, picnic, day at Darien Lake, a baptism, lots of basketball training, Craig's draft for work, and eventually a potential family vacation, followed almost immediately by the beginning of school.  Between working through work projects (not to mention meetings I had to move because weather impacted our Darien Lake plans), being behind on getting school supplies (Carter needs a backpack and lunch bag this year), Jacob's uniforms (which are frustrating because he may only need the new stuff for one year), and being worried about COVID for the family events and how it might impact traveling in a couple more weeks as cases rise like crazy, I feel like I'm cracking a little bit.  How do we plan anything when for all we know it will be completely unsafe or even locked down by then?  I'm watching all of these families travel right now, making amazing memories, and I just feel lost.  On one hand I would never want to be taking those risks, and on the other I'm like, if they can do that, surely we can do the simple, mostly outdoor car trip we're trying to plan.  Literally in the last week or two, I've had multiple friends at Disney, multiples along the Atlantic Coast from Massachusetts to New Jersey to Maryland, and singles in Northern California, Italy, and going cross-country.  I'm sure I'm forgetting some, but it's just exhausting knowing there's a whole world out there, and now I'm feeling uncomfortable just trying to stay in one smallish corner of it.  At the same time, medical personnel are losing their minds again all across the country, and tons of people just continue to insist things are fine and masks and vaccines are unnecessary, despite so many deaths and long COVID cases among younger people.  

I realized I think I forgot to mention the other day that I feel like we are literally living in two parallel universes--one where the science and numbers are clear, hospitals are overwhelmed, and we have ways to attempt to deal with problems that we need to use, and one where masks do not work, numbers have been overblown, COVID doesn't even have a real test so therefore it can't exist, where big pharma, media and liberal government are manipulating everything, and kids can somehow go to school and not catch or pass the virus.  There are some people that are just so convinced that they're fully denying what's happening now.  And to some degree, I guess I'm the same on the other end of the spectrum.  There are just certain truths that I can't get past:

• Medical professionals being overwhelmed.  They are exhausted, overworked, and seeing things we can't even fathom.
• I can see numbers rising and know it's only going to get worse because this is so much more transmissible than the original strain.  The astronomical rise in cases is proof of that--what we have been doing is no longer working.
• Schools will have trouble staying open even with masks.  
• Young, healthy people are dying without pre-existing conditions at abnormal rates.
• I know of at least three people my age with long COVID issues that lasted months, and my friend's parents are barely independent anymore from theirs.  
• Studies show that up to 30% of adults and 20% of kids could have long COVID symptoms, and the vaccine isn't stopping that even though many have mild cases.  
• I don't want to have any of us suffer or even be stuck at home, so we need to take precautions where we can.  
• The vast majority of doctors--even little peon ones with no connection to any powers that be who would be paying them off--believe the vaccines are important and masks work.
• Vaccines are still important to keep people out of hospitals, but they are clearly not enough to stop spread, so universal masking is needed.  Especially if people want businesses to stay open, we have to try something.  

I saw a video of a nurse trying to remind people that this whole thing isn't about them.  It's not about their freedoms or what is comfortable for them.  Even if they don't care about other people, there are other people who care about those other people and it shouldn't be such a burden to care about the wellbeing of others with a couple simple steps.  Again, I understand people who are hesitant about the vaccine--although by now I feel like there would be a lot more obvious issues--but if that's your issue, then find another way to protect others, by masking or staying home or limiting gatherings.  People who are so resistant to everything just strike me as so selfish.  But again, they literally can't see that perspective and feel it's their God-given right to look out for their own good and live free.  That idea would be fine if their freedoms didn't inherently put others at risk.  But again, when they believe masks don't work and this isn't a big deal--no one they know got it bad--they just don't see what they're doing as a risk.  As I mentioned before, it kills me that politics have impacted things so badly here (it didn't have to be this way) and it's mind-boggling how two people can look at the same data and see it completely differently.  It's just incredibly frustrating on all counts right now--both from my personal perspective and when looking at the bigger picture.  

But all this COVID stuff along with all these little details of trip planning, work, school prep, doctor appointments (Jacob got his first shot today--yay!), how to pack for an amusement park day, writing up a wedding card, making sure we have groceries or remember to eat the fruit in the fridge, watering my plants, replacing the toilet paper, and on and on and on...it's just a lot when moving off my chair to turn on the TV and clear off a DVR show is too much bother right now.  I don't even know why.  And truly, we still have it good, so why is it so hard?

Dazed and Confused

I'm really on the struggle bus these days.  COVID feels like it's closing in again, threatening whatever might be left of our summer and having the potential to derail the "normal" fall we thought we'd have.  We all thought it would be a normal school year, but now it looks like masks will be a sure thing (which is actually the better of the scenarios), but with the way the delta variant is spreading, I don't think the in-school spread is going to be as minimal this time.  I thought I'd be back to work, but as I mentioned last post, that has been delayed until at least the end of September.  We're hoping to get Jacob vaccinated this week, although his basketball training schedule makes a sore arm less than ideal.  Fortunately, the spread still isn't terrible here.  We're seeing between 60-100 cases per day in the county, which is actually somewhere around what we had in late spring.  The problem is that the new variant is so much more contagious that they say instead of each person passing it to two people like in the past, now they'll pass it to five, so I have a feeling those numbers are going to go up pretty quickly from here.  

I'll be honest--I'm really starting to lose my patience with people.  As I've mentioned before, we're one of the few mask-wearing families I see right now.  Wegmans probably has the most masks, and even there it's probably a third of all people.  I did feel like I saw more today than previously, so maybe that's a good sign.  Previously I understood most of the "why" - vaccinated people were told they were safe without them and unvaccinated people should be wearing them but mask mandates ended so they took advantage.  The one group I never understood was families like ours who have unvaccinated kids.  We've known all along that vaccinated folks can still get it and pass it, but I guess they figure the kids wouldn't get it bad regardless?  I just read an article about 10-20% of kids getting some form of long COVID, so maybe they should read that and reconsider.  But now that it's becoming abundantly clear that vaccinated people are getting infected more than previously thought, I'm perplexed.  Like, I understand there are few hospitalizations and almost no deaths among the vaccinated, but you can still spread it, you can still feel pretty horrible for a couple weeks, and you risk long-term symptoms.  So why wouldn't you want to mask up and avoid that?

I'm eternally frustrated by the folks who claim the trifecta of resistance--refuse the vaccine, refuse to mask, and still insist everything should be open.  When there's active spread in a community, you basically can't have them all without tremendous risk.  Here's the thing--when it comes to schools in particular, there will be infections.  Delta's just too strong and there won't be the ability to distance like we had during hybrid school last year.  If, God forbid, you removed the only possible barrier to that by unmasking, there is going to be rampant spread.  Masks aren't perfect, but they do block something more than an open mouth and nose, so it's all these unvaccinated little kids have.  I know it's not awesome to spend the day in masks, but it's literally their only protection.  And the thing is, even if their infections won't be bad, they'll risk passing it to at-risk adults (especially in an unvaccinated household) and it will necessitate quarantines and possibly school closures.  When the state announced there would not be any official guidance coming out for school reopening, all these people were online proclaiming "Time for no masks at school!"  Those are also the same people insisting on full in-person school (I mean, we all want that but some of us realize there will be risks that could change that), so they will be the first people complaining when schools close due to infections.  So you can have one or the other: no masks and frequent remote learning, or masks and fewer school closures--pick one.  No masks and minimal closures will not co-exist with delta, I am sure of it.  The south is already seeing the effects of that a couple weeks into the school year.

I am so sick of people who still insist that masks are unhealthy and don't work at all.  First of all, doctors and nurses have been using them for decades, so clearly they perform a function.  Additionally, it wouldn't appear oxygenation is a problem since you don't hear much about doctors passing out in the middle of a six-hour surgery.  Next, I understand cloth masks are not ideal.  It would be better if people paid attention to fit, and if we really need N95s, it would be nice to hear that officially and have some way to ensure we can all get them without hoarding and shortages.  But lacking that, most of us have surgical or cloth masks.  As I said above, logically it just seems better to me to have something in front of the main germ entrances on your face.  Any obstacle is better than none.  I read an article that said that even though the virus is smaller than the holes in masks, the virus needs to hitch a ride on some sort of particle, which is usually a bit bigger, which means it won't fit through those holes as readily.  The article also explained that those holes aren't just a straight-up swiss cheese hole--they are essentially tunnels, so not only does the droplet need to fit into the hole, but the length of the tunnel is even more surface area for it to get caught on.  And for those that don't believe they make a difference, I challenge any of them to sneeze into their mask and again into their hand and tell me how much wetter their hand got without the mask.  Anything that's on that wet mask got caught and is not floating in the air for someone else to inhale.  Does some sneak out?  Of course, but it's far less.  And in a situation where viral load matters, every bit less helps--whether you're the one sneezing or the one nearby breathing it in.  You may still get sick, but if your viral load is lower, you won't be as sick.  I'm still convinced that's why Jacob hardly had any symptoms and didn't pass it to us.  He was masked at all times out of the house, and I believe he got it from basketball where heavy breathing and "relaxed masking" (under the nose, maybe worse; and masks off while hydrating) are the norm.  But if he was partially or entirely masked, it's possible he just had a super low viral load and would have been considerably sicker without masking.  And other than COVID, Jacob only had one minor cold last year.  Carter had a cold in the fall and another in the spring once distancing in schools was less, but that was it.  No strep, no stomach bugs, nothing more than sniffles and sneezes--and certainly no mystery illness caused by breathing in the "moisture and bacteria" on the masks that some Facebook poster suggested was harmful to kids.

People are just so darn threatened by masks.  No one enjoys wearing them, but geez, it's a piece of freaking cloth and it takes two seconds to put it on.  Is it really so bad if it's the one thing that's allowing us to keep schools and businesses open?  It's not a threat to your freedom, people.  It's the one thing that can keep your freedom once this thing gets bad again.  But people have so thoroughly convinced themselves that masks don't work, oppress their freedoms, and are only for sheep that they can't bear to wear them and anyone that does is stupid.  And for all the people that insist their kids can't or shouldn't wear them, kids are resilient and they respond well to positive peer pressure.  So if every kid is wearing them, their use is encouraged, and they're reminded that they're helping others and possibly themselves by wearing them, they'll generally be pretty accommodating.  But if they're hearing trash talk at home and being told they're too good or too special to wear one, or not being properly trained to use one, of course they'll have trouble with it.  I know special needs kids can be different, but the vast majority of kids can handle it just fine.  I had people on Facebook telling me that I live in fear because I wear one, but you know what, I'm just practical.  I don't feel like being sick, having my kids be sick, having to do remote school, or being stuck in my house.  That all seems like a much bigger burden to me than putting on a mask, no?

And then there's the vaccine.  Here's the thing--I get the hesitancy.  Heck, Jacob has been eligible for months now and we're just getting around to it.  His past infection was part of the reason--why risk complications if his antibodies could already protect him?  It's a new vaccine and doesn't have years of data to look back on like so many childhood vaccines do.  Mind you, millions have been vaccinated in a short period of time so there actually is a lot of data--just not the long-term kind that can shut down the conspiracy theorists who insist in two years we're all going to be dead or suffering from severe heart issues or something like that.  But there are SO many medical professionals and researchers who have studied this--both coronaviruses and the vaccine technology--and so many have come to the same conclusions.  Yes, there are outliers, but they are far outnumbered.  And the vast majority of those professionals are not part of some big worldwide scheme.  Most of them are John Doe doctors who took an oath to protect their patients, or Jane Doe researchers whose life goal is to help people through their work.  They're not being paid off or connected to some master plan to destroy humanity.  They genuinely want to do the right thing and believe this vaccine is it.  I saw someone say something to the effect of, "If you see 10 doctors for your cancer and nine tell you to get chemo, are you really going to listen to that one rogue one, or might you actually come to the conclusion that the nine know what they're talking about?"  You might consider it if it seems like a more comfortable, plausible route, but when your life is on the line, most would go with the clear expertise.  And honestly, in this case, if all the doctors are wrong and those outliers were right, well...humanity is screwed and it's a pretty hollow victory for all the conspiracy theorists who will lose many friends and family members along the way.   

I'll admit the cases of myocarditis among teenage boys who received the vaccine are definitely concerning, especially with an active athlete.  But with how badly COVID spreads right now, the fact of the matter is that myocarditis is a major, common complication of COVID itself (as it is with the flu as well), and the likelihood of him getting COVID is higher, and the likelihood of getting myocarditis from COVID is considerably higher than it is from the vaccine.  When I said that in response to a family friend's post about a teenage girl who had complications from the vaccine, I reminded her that myocarditis was found in as many as 60% of COVID cases vs. a very small percentage of vaccine recipients.  But of course she couldn't address that and spouted off a bunch of random crap from fringe studies that likely aren't capturing the full context of things.  Then she mentioned all the deaths in the VAERS database, but I reminded her that the database is not regulated and people can submit whatever they want without any formal, confirmed connection to the vaccine.  Again, she avoided that and spewed something else.  The fact of the matter is that no vaccine is perfect and every one we currently rely on has had people who reacted negatively.  And if that happens to you or your family, it's certainly tragic.  But those same vaccines have saved millions of lives worldwide, so would the world really be a better place if millions had died from polio or measles or whooping cough just to spare the tiny percentage that had an allergic reaction to the vaccine?  Maybe if it was your child, sure, but in the grand scheme of things, the world needs this stuff to prevent greater death.  And if you don't believe it, consider that death rates are down considerably and the vast majority of deaths and hospitalizations are coming from the unvaccinated.

Ironically, church has been a sore spot for me.  They did so well with caution for so long, closing twice and opening up carefully each time, but recently the masked/distanced gym-turned-worship center has been pretty empty, and the vast majority of the kids in Sunday School aren't masked.  It's literally scary to me to see a full church shoulder-to-shoulder unmasked, because all it takes is one infection and the church could have serious problems on its hands.  A church in Florida just lost six members in 10 days with considerably more hospitalized or sick at home.  And that church apparently had a vaccine push prior and encouraged masking (though no idea if people did or not--in Florida I'd think likely not).  I was hoping that with the CDC guidelines changing that our church would make some changes, but none yet.  I know they're worried about attendance--it's definitely still down--but it's hard to tell if people got out of the habit, find it easier to do remote, are steering clear until it's both free of regulations AND completely safe, or what.  But it's disheartening that a bunch of Christians are more interested in comfort and than masking up for an hour to possibly protect others, and that so many are also choosing to leave their kids entirely unprotected.  It's literally perplexing to me.  Yes, we can have faith, but God also gave us doctors and medicines and science to make informed decisions.

The shocking amount of incorrect information and conspiracy theories that people are holding on to are nuts.  In one post on a news site that I just HAD to respond to, people claimed masks don't work at all, that kids aren't carriers, that it's illegal immigrants' fault (I guess Missouri is such a border crossing hotspot that it spiked first?  OK.), that it's a political propaganda tool (yes, the world is suffering because our politicians wanted to play games...again, OK.), and that actual cases are only 6% of what's reported (I can't even.).  I can't tell if these people just watch too much Fox News, or if they stopped reading articles and studies 14 months ago, or think they've just been granted special immunity...??  I'm so confused how people don't hear enough stories and realize this is real, it's happening again, and the worst case scenario could come to you.  I'm still confused how it went from, "Trump is amazing--he got the vaccine done in record time!" to "I'm not touching that poison from the left."  I'm fascinated that Canada doesn't have this same kind of divide because the messaging from both leadership and the media has been consistent, and the media is still considered impartial (no Fox News, for starters), so it emphasizes the point that something went terribly wrong here.  It just angers me that this became such a political issue when in truth it's not.  Trump made downplaying it part of the party line, and anyone who didn't became the enemy.  Science changes, folks.  The story changes because the studies show us new things.  I do think there's a fine line between telling the full truth and needing to exercise caution so certain groups don't go off the rails--like when masks were originally downplayed so people didn't hoard them away from medical use, or how breakthrough infections have been a bit downplayed so people don't write off the vaccine as useless before they understand the importance of the low hospitalization rate.  So many people insist the government should butt out, but I've seen time and time again that a majority of people subconsciously take their lead from what the government is saying (at least when it's coming from their own side).

Like I said, for me this isn't about living in fear (although a healthy amount of fear is sometimes what keeps us out of danger), but rather just being proactive and managing very real risks.  And even if those risks aren't high currently, it only takes one chance encounter to become a statistic and I'd rather stay in the habit anyway since we know it's coming back.  I want to find real solutions to maintain as much of a normal life as possible, while being mindful of the risks.  For us that means go out and do things, but wear a mask inside, try to stay outdoors if possible, and consider the risks of a crowded place, whether indoors or out.  Where those judgments land for different people is going to vary wildly, but ignoring that this is happening (again) doesn't really seem like a solution to me, especially when one person's inaction can start a chain reaction that impacts so many others.  You'd think we as a country would have learned a lesson when it got downplayed a year ago, and then it was too late to stop the speeding train.  I don't want to miss Christmas again, or worry about whether Halloween or Thanksgiving will be safe, nor do I want my kids learning from home.  So if there are things we can do now to prevent that, why does it have to be so hard?  Why can't COVID be the common enemy rather than each other?

As a side note to all of this, I can definitely tell all of this is starting to wear on me in a different way than it did for the first year or so.  My focus feels worse.  Certain tasks just feel insurmountable on certain days, from cleaning to working out.  I wake up tired every day, no matter how much sleep I get--though falling asleep on time has been an issue, too, both due to a busy brain and wanting to stretch evening "me time" as long as possible.  I long to do more out in the world, but when the time comes, sometimes doing it feels exhausting.  Things that I normally like doing--like bike riding, going in the pool, baking, or even this blog some days--just feel like too much work.  Zoning out on my phone is easier, but then I get down on myself for being unproductive and it starts a vicious cycle.  Things that I was so gung-ho to do six months ago, like redo my kitchen or upgrade my landscaping, just feel impossible to wrap my brain around.  Even planning our vacation is a sore spot--can I manage packing and long distance travel?  Will we be safe, or will it not even be possible in a few weeks because things will have escalated?  How do we work around weather?  I wanted to fit in a day in New York City while we're that close, but mentally, it's so much to think through.  Even the thought of going back to work felt a little overwhelming, but now I have another month-plus to work through that.  I still need to get the boys' school stuff ready, from supplies to Jacob's uniforms, and the uniforms in particular just feel like too much to coordinate since shirts need to be special ordered and pants are always a tricky fit.  It's hard to understand why this is such an issue now all of a sudden, but I'm just trying to manage one task at a time, psyching myself up to tackle it, just hoping I don't run out of time before I get to that point.  It still feels more functional than functional depression or anything like that, but it's definitely not how I want to be getting through my days.  Maybe it's stress, maybe it's disappointment, maybe it's the lack of changes of scenery, maybe I just really need a vacation.  And with every jump in cases, with every delayed return to work, the question marks just get bigger.  My hope dies another little death every time I see people resisting actions that could help reduce the spread.  I'm just...sad.  Sad for my kids, sad for us, sad for the second half of the year we thought we'd have.  I'm sad for teachers that need to choose between another year of masked faces and risking their life (or their students').  I'm sad for all the people who have lost loved ones or are battling long COVID, particularly those who took precautions but were failed by others.  There's really no end in sight again, and it's hard to take when there was once so much hope.  You'd think we could all work together against this common, clear enemy, but who knew masks and vaccines were deal breakers?  Stay safe, folks.  It's a long road ahead.  

A Long Way to Go for Lunch

Apparently we created a bit of a monster when we discovered FLX Fry Bird back in April when we were looking for gluten-free food after one of Jacob's basketball tournaments.  Jacob just loved his chicken and waffles (and the rest of us enjoyed our food, too), so we went back again in late May after another tournament, but under less-awesome circumstances since Jacob had just injured his foot.  He'd been begging recently to go back, and we finally had a weekend without plans so it was a distinct possibility.  We've been on the go quite a few weekends, all of July, in fact--4th of July, a baby shower, basketball/soccer, and finally a wedding/family reunion.  We hadn't been to our own church in a full month, and I felt like everything inside and outside the house was a bit of a mess because I hadn't had extended non-work time at home since early in the month when I took some vacation time.  And as I recall that vacation time had hot weather so it was hard to do things outside like hedge trimming, which is exhausting to near-impossible in heat.  One of my challenges lately is it's hard to get things done in the evenings--I'm just so tired by the time I'm done with work and dinner that if I don't have an errand to run, my brain goes directly to relaxing.  That means working out, outside yard work, and inside cleaning have taken a backseat to rest.  Lots of tasks were overdue as a result, and while I was hoping to get a lot done with this first unscheduled weekend in ages, Jacob's request wasn't unreasonable and it felt worth doing.  However, if we were going to drive an hour to grab a meal, I wanted to make it worth our while.  

I started looking into different options in and around that area, but most of the good ones were a solid 45-60 minutes further than Geneva.  We'd already done Watkins Glen (I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but the kids not so much), and Seneca Lake didn't seem to have a lot of activities outside of the state park that surrounds it.  We could go back to Ithaca if we drove an hour southeast.  We could go to Chimney Bluffs if we drove 45 minutes north.  Auburn and Skaneateles were about an hour past, as well.  I had a friend suggest one hiking area along the way, but Jacob in particular dislikes hiking and I figured I'd give him a break this time if I could.  But nothing else was jumping out.  On the bright side, it was a lovely day--sunny and low 70s--so whatever we did wouldn't have to worry about weather.  We got a little later start than expected because I desperately wanted to get in a run and everyone slept in a bit, but we figured after a late breakfast we could stand a later lunch.  So we got on the road to start the hour drive a little after our actual lunch would have been.  Oh, and in the midst of figuring all of this out, Carter announced that he didn't actually like chicken and waffles despite eating his entire meal both previous times.  After some conversation it's possible he just didn't like leftovers he had at home, but we opted to get him mac and cheese and french fries instead.  I swear his tastebuds change weekly.  Regardless, lunch was nice and delicious as always.

Cheers!

After lunch the plan was to check out a series of four playgrounds around the lake and see if any were worth playing on.  There was one we had seen from the road a couple times that looked cool, and so we stopped there first.  It was a really neat one, with lots of different climbing stuff.  

They also had one of these crazy roller slides, which we haven't encountered much, so it was new to Carter.  He always wants to climb every single slide, and this one posed a challenge!  He did it, though!

Nothing like a playground with a view!

From the top of the slide

There was also this spinning thing, in which the boys thought was funny to spin me like crazy when I hopped in to try it out.  Ugh, my brain does not appreciate that these days, especially after a big lunch.  But the boys had fun spinning in it, even if it did slow down really quickly.

They couldn't really figure out how to climb this thing that seemed to defy gravity, but they each tried in their own ways!

And of course, Jacob just HAD to push Carter like crazy on an already-unbalanced tire swing!

Their version of brotherly love?

It turned out that the other three playgrounds were all within Seneca Lake State Park, which would have necessitated a $7 entry fee.  Since we weren't planning on staying long--maybe even just doing a drive-by--we deemed it not worthwhile (this time, anyway), and started making our way north to our destination of choice, Chimney Bluffs!  The only thing convenient about Chimney Bluffs from where we were was that it was almost directly north (and therefore no farther from home than we already were).  It was a 45 minute drive on country roads, but they were relatively interesting, at least--passing through a historical town (Waterloo), quaint canal town (Clyde), school districts we've only heard of, and apple orchards (how did I not know those trees were so short and looked vaguely like a grapevine setup?).  The good news is it would leave us not far from Route 104 which we could take directly back home in about an hour or less.

There were two parking lots for Chimney Bluffs State Park.  Oddly, the main lot was a long trail away from where we wanted to be, which I think is because the shorter trail we actually ended up at is newer.  Knowing I was dealing with limited patience and attention spans, we opted to go to the smaller satellite lot that was closest to the thing everyone comes to see: the bluffs.  They are natural structures that were formed by glaciers and erosion.  They look unlike anything else around here, and in fact felt otherworldly, or at the very least like something out west.

Jacob was giving us all sorts of grief about not wanting to hike in woods, and "what about ticks?!", so when the initial hike up was through woods (but on stairs and a reasonable cleared path), he was not thrilled.  Most of it looked something like this.  You'd walk through a wooded trail, come to an opening with a view, then walk through more of this.  It was quite peaceful aside from the sounds of the lake and the speedboats.

When we arrived at the openings that overlooked the bluffs, the views were pretty surreal, but very scenic.

Like I said, a bit otherworldly and so different from other areas along Lake Ontario.  They reminded me a bit of ruined sandcastles.

Close up view with a bonus boat in the background

Despite it being a beautiful day where we were, there was a bit of a storm brewing on the other side of the lake into Canada, which made for some dramatic, contrasting skies and lighting.

Along the path there wasn't a lot to see besides a lot of downed trees and ground cover, but I did spot this very interesting plant that I thought was a fungus but is actually a perennial plant related to the blueberry family.  It has no chlorophyll so it can grow in heavily shaded areas, and it is parasitic, meaning it takes its nutrition from the plants around it.  Fascinating!

Using my iPhone camera the majority of the time, it's hard to do good macro photography.  I can't get nearly as close to plants with my phone as I can with my camera.  But I did pull out my camera both to zoom in on the bluffs and to get shots like these of the few pops of color along the path.

Each view was so interesting and lovely in its own way.  We got to see each view twice because the trail was an out-and-back.

I should have taken a pic of the boys facing at the spot above, because this one below got shadowy, but you take what you can get when you forget until nearly the end of the trail.

This is a view of the steps you had to walk up to access the trail, and back down to the parking lot.  There were a LOT!  It twisted one more time out of view.

When we got back to the parking lot, we noticed people walking down toward the shoreline where there was a short, rocky beach.  There wasn't a good spot to go down, but I watched as people used an area where the blacktop had washed out (possibly when lake levels were higher or a storm rolled through) a bit like stairs.  I asked if I could have just five minutes or so to walk around the bend on the beach and see the bluffs from below.  As I got around to that spot, I see Carter running up alone behind me!  I guess he wanted to come too, and he chased me down.    The view from down below was cool in its own right.  You can see how tall they are.  

The rocks were sort of interesting to me.  They seemed different than what I'm used to at my preferred rocky beach (haha) at Camp Pioneer.  These all seemed to be pinkish, blue-gray, and white.
 

It wasn't the most welcoming beach--definitely better for a walk than sunbathing--but it was quite a different type of scenic landscape than we're used to along the lakes.

We headed back to the van and started our trek toward home.  Our first stop was Sodus.  There's a bay that dips down by the town and it looked like a small cottage town where people spend their summers.  We were hoping for a little more life somewhere, but all we really got to see was a historical lighthouse.  

Not much else of note, so we went back toward Route 104, stopped for 89 cent Freezes and snacks at the Speedway along the way, and took that one road pretty much the entire rest of the way home!  Always interesting to see what's on the other end of the Rochester section of 104!

I finished off the day by doing a major hedge trimming job.  Despite being tired, it was worth it to get it done when the weather was cool because that job is hard!  Between my run and the hedges, I was quite sore on Sunday!  

It was actually a pretty quick but busy week this week (hence why this is just getting published a week later).  Jacob was at UR basketball camp all week, which was nice because we didn't have to spend our days refereeing the kids.  He got a great evaluation and seemed to enjoy his week, but I think he's ready for a rest.  Carter did a great job on his school work this week, finishing three reading lessons, four math lessons, doing two pages of handwriting, and reading me a book.  As a result, he earned a Taco Bell lunch on Friday!  My work has been chugging along, but the big news of the week is that our return to the office was pushed back again, this time to late September.  It was disappointing, of course, but I guess it's less frustrating once the kids are back in school.  It does create a bit of a challenge for me since I'm inheriting a family heirloom desk that will be less conducive to my work-from-home setup (but better for everything else in the long run), but I have a couple options in mind--either taking over Carter's computer desk on the other side of the room, or moving my current desk to a spot in our basement office.  Hopefully it won't be a longer delay, but I'm losing hope based on how the COVID stats are going.  

The big thing of the week was that Craig hopped a plane for the Bay Area on Thursday for the US Box Lacrosse Championships.  The college league he helped start this summer sent one of the Rochester teams to the championship, so he had to go out with them.  It's the first time he's traveled in ages, for about twice as long as most of his roadtrips (4-1/2 days!), and of course it comes when COVID is spiking again and hitting vaccinated people on top of it.  I'm not thrilled about that, but he's getting a lot of mask time so hopefully he'll be okay.  We have a lot coming up in the next week and a half, so I'm hoping he stays healthy.  We miss him a lot and it's been an adjustment, but we're managing.

Anyway, I'm glad we were able to get in a little adventure with some much needed scenic views.  It definitely restored my soul a bit.  I'm still trying to work through a vacation in a couple weeks to further redeem this summer, but we (hopefully) have some good extended family time coming up first!

The State of the Union - A Civil War Update

I figured it's been a while since I gave a solid update on the boys--the good and the challenging individually, and what happens when they're together.  I feel like things have evolved a bit (note I didn't say improved), so if nothing else maybe it's a good opportunity for me to talk myself through things and see if I have any a-ha moments!

Jacob

Jacob is definitely becoming a full-fledged teenager.  He has a deeper voice, and I can tell his legs are getting more hairy.  Fortunately, while the hair on his head is definitely getting darker (more of a dirty blond than it used to be), his other hair seems to be blond, which should make the awkward early mustache phase a bit easier to manage.  He's all good with shaving it immediately anyway, or so he says at this point, but suffice it to say, we are well on our way.  He is somewhere north of 5'5", from what we can tell, and rapidly getting more muscular.  He's even using protein powder now to try to bulk up a bit and become more of a force on the basketball court since he'll likely be playing with some older kids this year.  Sometimes I marvel at how his calves have filled out, because they were once so skinny (especially right after his bone cyst surgery), and now they're middle-of-the-road on the bench--not the biggest, but definitely not the skinniest.  He also is coming into his teenage appetite, which is not cheap when he's gluten-free!

The attitude is clearly hitting the teenage years as well.  He's moody and can get overly angry about dumb stuff.  I think it could definitely be worse, but he's decidedly unimpressed by most things.  I'm struggling to plan a vacation this year because he's officially at the stage where everything will be considered boring and he'll only be asking to find a basketball court en route so he can practice.  When we talk about Disney, he talks more about us needing to be at a resort with a court than about any attractions he'd like to see.  He's very singularly focused, obviously, which isn't terrible but does make others' interests a little harder to move up the priority list.  He's also a bit inflexible at times, which means any plans or changes in plans are interrupting whatever vision he had in his head of that period of time.  He'd much rather stay home or only leave to play basketball if at all possible.

He has far more confidence than I ever did at that age, which is a blessing and a curse.  He seems unaffected by new schools or new teams or anything like that.  He's confident in his basketball skills, and they are pretty solid, but like in regular life, I think he has a much easier time seeing others' flaws than his own.  That means we have to be on him for maintaining a work ethic and focusing on his own skills more than worrying about others--he's good but can always be better.  

Keeping him occupied this summer has been harder since we're both busier with work on a regular basis.  He prefers to do basketball with someone (and has periodically blamed the imperfections in our hoop for ruining his shot anyway), and can't go in the pool alone--not that it's been great pool weather anyway.  That means he's on Xbox quite a bit, watches The Simpsons, or maybe eventually retreats to his room to listen to music and mess around on his phone.  And when all of that fails, he bugs his brother, but I'll get into that in a bit.

I will say that he seems to have a decent head on his shoulders about certain things.  When you talk to him about certain teen pitfalls, he seems to answer correctly so far (like, why would I ever do that?!), and sometimes he can be mature about things.  I know sometimes when he sees I'm frustrated he will go the extra mile to take care of something so I'm less frustrated, so I appreciate that.  But like most teenagers he has a lot of good intentions that don't always pan out when it's time to do what's needed.  Like, he wants to work harder in school and get good grades so he can go to Harvard (!), but we'll see what happens in the fall when he has a new teacher that annoys him or he just doesn't feel like it.  Sometimes he seems to want to take care of his own stuff and says we should give him chores (and pay him), but every time I ask him to do something just to contribute to the household chaos reduction, I get brushed off--whether it's putting away his own cereal box or recycling the empty one, or putting away the school backpack that's still sitting where it was on June 4 when he finished school.  I know most of the time he's not trying to be a jerk, but likely his ADHD allows him to not see the empty boxes, couch full of crumbs, or the multiple cups around his spot.  I feel like one of my biggest challenges is teaching him to be on the lookout for that stuff without nagging him.  Otherwise he's going to be living in squalor when he gets older, so we need to start pushing it more now.

Overall, I know things could be worse and the next few years are definitely going to be a roller coaster ride, but we're hanging in there so far.

Carter

Carter is such a wild card.  Where Jacob has always been focused on very specific goals and activities, Carter just sort of floats through life taking it all in.  That's not to say he readily accepts all that he encounters.  His one-time chill flexibility has been replaced with pretty specific opinions on almost everything, but he's much less proactive than Jacob about where he's going and what he's doing--unless it has to do with an electronic device, mind you.  Then he has very clear ideas about what he wants to do, how he's going to do it, and every possible scenario he may encounter.  For a kid that can't remember what I said to him five minutes ago, he speaks with incredible detail about intricate things in games and videos, from weapons to creatures to strategies.  It's hard to follow even when you're paying full attention, let alone when you're slightly preoccupied like I am during a typical workday at home.

I'm glad he's finally passionate about something, as his interests have stayed rather uninvolved for most of his life.  He likes different things, but it's been rare for any one thing to stand out for a significant period of time.  Paw Patrol lasted a couple years, maybe.  He had a couple sports stints.  He liked cars and other vehicles for a while, too, and sometimes goes through certain animal phases.  But none of those things really seemed to stick the way sports has for Jacob since he was just starting to walk.  I know Jacob's an odd case and most kids bounce around a bunch, but I feel like by this age there's usually been a few more really clear things that a kid has latched on to, and that hasn't really been the case for Carter.  

I felt a little bad as we talked to his therapist initially, because when he asked about Carter's strengths I had a hard time coming up with more than a couple given his stubborn, challenging behavior in the last couple years.  My once super-sweet kid now tends to be a little grumpy and particular and oblivious to others.  He likes to run, and he's definitely got a creative mind, but getting him to put those things on display takes effort.  He'd rather be on a device, soaking in information and maybe even putting it to use.  Where Jacob is really good with building anything from Minecraft to Legos, Carter ends up with a lot of concepts that seem interesting but often don't pan out.  His toy constructions are a little odd and rickety, and often take some extra imagination to see what he sees.  His electronic creations are interesting, but often he puts more effort into just getting something functional and as a result the visual elements are lacking a bit.  He's just not a big detail kid currently, aside from the realm of random facts.  He feels a little like that old commercial that talks about "search engine overload" where one person says something, and the person they're talking to starts rattling off irrelevant but similar-sounding things like search engine results usually do.  He will just rattle off this stream of consciousness about any random thing that's minimally related to the thing you just talked to him about.

With all his creativity and random facts, he seems like he should have a lot to write about or draw, or that he would love reading to gain new knowledge on his favorite subjects, but it's a struggle to get him to do any of those things.  We're definitely hoping ADHD medication can help with some of these things, and it already seems to be a bit of a help with summer school assignments, which he's doing mostly without complaint.  But it remains to be seen if we can slow his busy brain down enough to make lower-key activities more enjoyable for him.  He's a bit forgetful and a little clumsy, so school and sports can both be challenges.  So, he immerses himself in YouTube videos and game details instead.  

Even still, he's been a bit better this summer about taking breaks and playing with actual toys.  The Tinkertoys, magnetic tiles, and his action figures have gotten a bit more attention, which has been nice.  I think for the most part he'll start something with a plan, but gets bored or realizes his idea is too complex, and never really gets around to finishing it (or cleaning up).  I've said for a long time that if electronics are an option, he will always pick that option.  It's usually only when they're not (tablet's dead or we have banned him) that he allows himself to get into something else.  It's been better than last summer, but still a challenge.  His hesitance also applies to our little outings.  He's never really thrilled to go on them (unless a playground is involved), but he always ends up having some fun, even if he won't let on how much fun he had.  He still does his fair share of complaining, especially about shopping or anything that's too boring or takes too long, but I guess we're trying to push his limits a bit where we can.

I know he's a good kid, but I feel like he's still a bit of a puzzle.  A few different factors seemed to lead to him getting all twisted up, and I feel like we just need to figure out how to get things untwisted to allow the sweet, easy-going kid to re-emerge.  His brother, school, electronics, and his ADHD have all played a role, so if we can manage those things, I think we'll be on our way. 

Jacob + Carter

Even though the boys can be pretty decent kids separately, when they get together, things usually end up messy.  I've decided that they are, at their core, incompatible.  They are just completely different human beings.  They are both definitively ours, but it's like Jacob got one set of DNA and Carter got the other, and there's no overlap between the two.  Well, I take that back--they both got my dark brown eyes and they both got some crap combo that gave them ADHD.  But for the most part they each got completely different pieces from each of us.   

Here is the classic scenario we've been dealing with for the last two summers (and a lot of other times over the last year and a half):

• Jacob doesn't want to take his medicine first thing in the morning (which is annoying because he has two medicines for the exact purpose of getting him through a full day).  His ADHD craves stimulation, and he gets it primarily by annoying his brother and being difficult with us.  That is how he stimulates his brain--stirring things up.  We yell at him to take his medicine.
• So when he is bugging Carter, Carter tries to tell him to leave him alone.  Jacob doesn't listen and usually one of two things will happen - either they start physically fighting (sometimes under the guise of "playing a game") or Carter gets ticked and kicks, hits, or throws something at Jacob.  If the former happens, it always goes bad, we end up screaming, and have to separate them physically.  If Carter gets the first shot, Jacob acts like he's been shot, plays dead, and claims he did nothing and Carter attacked him anyway.  Even though we all know he was in there uninvited.  
• Carter has a bad habit of getting that first shot in even though these days Jacob's entrance isn't always going to lead to a fight.  Sometimes he's legitimately trying to be nice or ask a question.  But for the past many years, Carter got in a habit of proactively defending himself, and now he's doing it when he doesn't need to, which only leads to more bad blood.
• After physically trying to keep them separated, eventually Jacob is annoyed because Carter is spending too much time in his room.  Jacob is genuinely worried Carter is going to turn into a couch potato loser and wants to get him outside doing sports.  He makes an ill-advised attempt at getting him outside, which rarely goes well.  If Carter does go out, inevitably he comes back in a few minutes later because of some sort of injustice or frustration.
• When they play together, Jacob has a tendency to dominate the situation.  He either plays too hard and Carter gets hurt, or his critiques of Carter's basketball skills hurt his feelings, or Carter's just tired of feeling inferior.  Jacob rarely wants to play another sport, but can sometimes be convinced if Craig or the neighbor wants to play, too.  Carter insists he hates basketball, so it's hard to find a happy medium.  Jacob gets extra mad when he plays what Carter wants to, with the deal they'll do both sports, and then Carter bails before they get to basketball. 
• Back inside, the boys try to play nicely together on Minecraft.  Jacob insists he's trying to let Carter play, but inevitably either he bosses him around or forces Carter to play his way, on building projects he has created, which of course Carter has less allegiance to.  Jacob can't quite understand why Carter might not have fun building sports stadiums, even though sports is clearly not Carter's favorite thing.  Carter likes to play Survival (where they have to fight people off), but Jacob prefers building in Creative.  Usually Carter gets bored or annoyed they can't do more of what he likes, so he leaves.
• More fighting ensues, and every time you try to get to the bottom of it, each kid will one-up the other explaining what was done to them that caused them to lash out.  So Carter hit Jacob but only because Jacob came into his room, but Jacob only did that because he had a question for Carter, but then Jacob annoyed him and wouldn't listen when asked to leave, so Carter lashed out.  But Carter then insists that he only did that because Jacob took his stuffed animal (or his sock--always one sock) and wouldn't give it back, but Jacob says he took the sock because Carter wouldn't answer a simple question.  It just keeps going with no clear starting point other than (usually) Jacob going into Carter's space uninvited because he wants Carter to get off the screens and become a more social person.  But because Jacob was trying to make an honest effort, it frustrates him when he gets in trouble for going in there and disturbing the peace.
• Jacob also needs to work on simply being nice.  He tends to find everything he can to make fun of Carter, downplay his interests, intimidate him, or otherwise just make him feel small and insignificant or dumb.  He does this thing (Google "I like ya cut, G"--easier to do that than explain it) and it makes me CRAZY.  It is so demeaning.  He just can't seem to let any opportunity slide, and as a result Carter can be self-conscious and have very hurt feelings.  Often he feels that he's just joking, but it all just comes across as yet another dig.  It does nothing to build the goodwill and trust they so desperately need.

As I said earlier, they're just incompatible.  They come together and chaos ensues because they're on totally different wavelengths.  Neither is entirely wrong, but they're not entirely right either.  They each have legitimate beefs with the other.  Jacob isn't very nice or accommodating, but he's also right that Carter should take more screen breaks and try to vary his interests a little bit so he can talk to people about something else besides Minecraft or YouTubers.  I appreciate that he's taking some interest in assisting him with that, but with the lack of trust between them, it just doesn't come across properly.  Carter has been bullied nearly constantly for years, so it's not surprising he has some challenges to work through.  We're working on them and it takes time, but he really does need to stop lashing out at Jacob unnecessarily in the meantime, because that just enrages Jacob even more and starts the cycle all over again.  

Despite all this, I feel like they're trying harder to make it work than they ever have.  When they do work together on Minecraft or play Wii games together, they can go a solid hour without fighting.  Eventually something goes wrong, it seems, but those little moments are good.  Just today they worked together on a Minecraft baseball/football stadium and built a giant beer bottle in the outfield that shoots out fireworks.  They were both so proud of it.  We never used to have those moments so I'm thankful when they happen, but we still have a long way to go.  Every time they complain about family therapy we remind them that if they could just figure out how to get along and stop needing revenge over every little thing, we could save a lot of money that we could use on a cool vacation.  But until that happens with greater regularity, back we go every two weeks to talk it through for an hour.  I will say we're not perfect parents either, so we're not guiltless and probably need that time a bit ourselves, but easier kids mean easier parenting--and hopefully no more therapy!  So, long story short, we're probably better off than we were a year ago, but things still need to get better.  A little more self-awareness and effort, and maybe we'll hit "tolerable" one of these days!  But I guess it's progress nonetheless...so I'll take it for now.