News and Notes, Rapidly Disappearing August Edition

How is it August 20th?  I was just here talking about how it was the beginning of August, and now we're two-thirds of the way through.  Jacob is done with camp at the end of this week, and has one week and one day off before it all gets real for him.  Carter has three field trips this week and a quiet week at camp the following week, before three days at home until school starts.  I'm still trying to plan us some summer fun, but I'm ending up stumped and/or worried about the weather, so it's not going far.  My cousin also scheduled her baby's Christening over Labor Day weekend, so that complicates things as well, since I'd like to be there.

Of course, we might be stuck here simply to get Jacob ready for school.  To be fair, we're making progress.  All of his school supplies are in hand.  His shirts are ordered, and we found pants at Old Navy on our first try, which I ended up having to order online and picked up yesterday.  But shoes are eluding us and he needs a couple more ties, and we're running out of store options.  Not surprisingly, summer reading is still a challenge.  He finished book #1 and finished his writing portion, however I haven't looked it over yet and I know there will be editing/refinement needed.  We picked up book #2 yesterday, but getting him to start was challenging.  It's also longer than he remembered, and I know the writing will take forever again.  It's going to take every last moment to get it all done, and he officially has less than two weeks.  He's also already balking at the concept of going to bed earlier to offset the hour earlier that he'll have to wake up.  We're definitely going to have to use our time at home next week to discuss expectations and figure out how we're going to make all of this work without driving ourselves nuts.  Waking up, packing lunches, tying ties, gelling hair, staying on task--all will be things he'll need help with, which means one or both of us will need to be up early to push him along--or God forbid be ready quickly enough to drive him 20 minutes to school if he misses the bus.  This is a huge opportunity for him, and I'd hate to see him lose it because he (or we) can't seem to get it together.  God knows I don't want to do another transition like this again next year!  Oh, and I just saw the academic calendar for this year, and he has so many days off.  Two weeks at Christmas, almost a whole week at Thanksgiving, a bunch of in-service days (like, two per month on average, I'd guess), and he's done June 4...which means he's going to have to get really good at staying home alone, because I don't know what else to do with him for 2-3 weeks until camps start.  Maybe force himself to get through at least the first half of his summer reading ASAP?  Oy.  Big changes ahead, no doubt.

In comparison, Carter's school preparations seem easy.  We still have one supply to get, his headphones, but unless his teacher has special requests, he's otherwise all set.  We are still waiting for his teacher letter, unfortunately.  Based on my Facebook memories we'd already received a good chunk of Jacob's letters by now, as well as Carter's letter last year.  Even though we're pretty sure we know who he's getting based on what his Kindergarten teacher told me, I'd still like to see it in writing.  She was such a great teacher for Jacob, so I think she'd manage Carter well, too.  Even if somehow that doesn't work out, knowing we're back at the same school with the same schedule, and don't have uniforms (or even new clothes) to worry about makes him seem like cake this year.

Last week Carter finished off his Micro Lacrosse program.  He seemed to enjoy it, and even finished off the last session with at least a goal (or three if you ask him) in the final scrimmage, which was finally real lacrosse with their sticks and an actual ball!  Even still, I think he's pretty set on playing basketball this winter, just like his big brother.

Getting their certificates--Carter is the last kid in the top row on the right

Last huddle and cheer

A sweaty, happy kid!

He'll most likely play Upward like Jacob did last year.  It'll be right at his level of competition and should work out fine enough with Jacob's schedule.  That's important because...Jacob will be playing travel basketball!  We haven't even been able to announce it on social media, but after a couple rounds of tryouts he made a team.  It sounds like most of our travel will be to Buffalo or Syracuse, with maybe one longer trip to Pennsylvania.  Aside from the fact Craig will be working weekends then, it's not too intimidating.  I mean, outdoor lacrosse tournaments seem a lot more cumbersome, with lawn chairs and coolers and snacks and weather uncertainties.  We may have to drive through snow, yes.  But we won't be sitting in it.  We may have to bring snacks and coolers, but I think they can mostly stay in the car.  Gyms should have bleachers, I hope.  For the most part we'll be in familiar areas, so I think it'll be manageable for planning meals and finding places to stay.  Talk to me in May, though!  He's extremely excited, of course, and while we are too, we're also a bit nervous because he's been struggling a little in his current league.  Not that he's not playing well, but he's not getting many chances.  There are always things he can do better, but I guess last game his coach called out his teammates for not passing to him, since he's standing exactly where he's supposed to be to receive a pass and shoot a three or drive to the net.  But he upped his game a notch during tryouts on Saturday, so we're hoping that will carry over to his next games, as well.  And tonight, that seemed to be the case because he scored more than one basket for the first time--five points!  He played hard and confident.  He said tryouts got his confidence back, so let's hope it sticks.

Aside from tryouts over the weekend, we just kept things pretty low key.  It was a bit rainy on Saturday, which didn't help.  Craig had to work Sunday and spent some time with his family on Saturday night, so it was just the kids and me for most of the time.  We ended up with an unfortunate fly infestation that we're still struggling with a bit.  We killed a bunch of flies starting late last week, mostly in the kitchen, but eventually it got to be maybe two dozen a day for a few days, in the kitchen, the dining room window, and the living room window.  The worst was when I went to bed--half asleep on Saturday, alone--and discovered they sought out the only light in the house while I was brushing my teeth.  I was up an extra half hour killing seven flies so they weren't buzzing my head all night.  I closed the kids' doors, as well as mine, so no others would get in, and just persevered until all of the ones in my room were done.  They're drunk flyers and get easily flustered in a corner, but still present a challenge to catch.  My internet fly trap didn't work, unfortunately, and I even forgot to get a fly swatter while out on Saturday, so it was all killing by hand.  Yuck.  Presumably something died somewhere in the walls or attic--no odd smells, nor was it the sink drain--but I figure maggots got it and have been becoming flies in waves.  It seems to be slowing down, maybe 8-10 a day for a couple days, but what a pain!  Kill two, and three more appear out of nowhere...rinse and repeat.  I can't wait for it to be over.

Otherwise over the weekend, I made a little more progress on cleaning up some additional baby stuff.  I did more experimenting to clean high chair straps in hopes of selling or donating them.  I tossed the baby tub and two potties (as hygiene concerns don't make them able to be donated), along with two bags of sippy cups, bottles, pacifiers, and teething rings.  Some may have been able to be reused, but most were showing their age so I recycled a bunch and tossed the rest.  Once again, it was sad, but what can you do?  I have a huge amount of donations to sort through over the coming weeks, particularly now that Craig is down nearly 25 pounds and has pared down his wardrobe quite a bit.  Between both of our cast-offs and the baby stuff, I have a pile that takes over half the office to sort and record, just in case we can ever itemize.  I also changed out the bathroom door with a lock we know we can open (as the kids like to lock themselves in there), did Jacob's uniform and shoe shopping, bought and planted a hydrangea, transplanted a bunch of random stuff in my yard, and tried to keep the boys at bay. At one point they were playing basketball together, and this happened...

Stuck!

Oh, and that reminds me...we also had a crazy thing happen the other night.  We were outside with a bunch of sports balls--we had been blowing up some and the boys were taking inventory of our many different ones.  It was just about dusk.  I had been pulling weeds since I discovered two giant ragweed plants (my worst allergy) in my front flower bed.  Suddenly a fox comes trotting around the side of the house.  It ended up in the front yard about 10-12 feet from us.  It just looked at us.  It looked like it might lay down and hang out, but then it spotted a small red basketball a few feet away.  It walked over and tried a few times to chew on it.  I have no idea what it thought it was doing.  We just sort of slowly backed away, but eventually I got nervous and shook my handful of weeds at him to shoo him.  The motion startled him just enough and he trotted away the way he came.  He didn't look like he had mange, so his rather odd comfort level with humans was a bit disturbing.  I still don't know what we should have done.  So strange.  I realized afterward that we usually see rabbits all the time in our yard during the summer, but this year I haven't seen any, and that guy might be why.  Yikes.

Adding to my panic about how close the end of summer is getting, I saw a line of cars going into the university's main entrance yesterday morning as Jacob and I passed by, and I realized it was international students moving in.  I knew that other freshmen move in Wednesday, but international students usually come a couple days early.  Knowing students are back really makes the end of summer feel real.  Geneseo's move-in is Friday, literally 23 years to the day that I moved in as a freshman.  I'm off on Friday, and have half-heartedly considered driving down there for a bit, just to watch and remember and presumably prepare myself for seven years from now when we drop off Jacob.  Yep, seven.  So if I think about how time has passed since he was four and I was pregnant with Carter (for reference, let's say when we took the "first day of school" picture with the big brother shirt), and now in that same amount of time we'll be taking him to college...well, CRAP.  That is going to go scarily fast.  Of course, we first have to see if he can tackle middle school 😁

But the signs are definitely there--earlier sunsets, cooler stints of weather, lots of first day of school Facebook posts from other parts of the country, and the impending anniversary of my own birth--that summer is well on its way out.  Each year we let it go kicking and screaming, even though fall brings with it its own sense of peace and comfort...until it gets cold and the school paperwork starts piling up, anyway.  Last year I at least had a fabulous trip to look forward to in September to get me over the hump, but this year there's just a whole lot of unknowns and adjustments.  Hopefully we can find a way to send summer out on a high note and find more things to love about fall, because it's coming whether we like it or not!

The Power of the Written Word

I wasn't sure whether to post this here, mostly because it was another stupid social media problem that I most likely overreacted to...but even after crafting a response and thinking about it for a couple days, I'm still having it roll around in my brain a bit more than I'd like, so I think I just want to get it out here and hope that's enough to move on.

The other day, an old friend of mine posted something on Facebook asking parents to not complain about their kids in their statuses.  She loves seeing pictures, but the complaints should stay private--not only because she has preconceived notions about what your kid is like based on that, but also because one day your kid could see it and that could be devastating to them. 

Because I had posted my second post about Jacob's summer reading earlier that day (and she responded--she's in education and chimed in on my last one, too), I felt compelled to respond since it was entirely possible that my post was part of her motivation.  I explained that sometimes parenthood is isolating, and for those of us who don't have a good support system of friends to complain to privately, sometimes Facebook is the easiest place to go for support or advice.  Yes, we should watch what we post, but if someone posts something like that anyway, it probably means they're struggling and are looking to fellow parents for validation or help.  Maybe it's not the best way to go about it, but sometimes you just do what you can to get through it.

I should note here that she is not a parent.  She does, however, work with kids so it's not like she's out of touch with how they behave.  But I still think being a parent is a completely different dynamic.

Anyway, she private messaged me the next day and said that I did not prompt her post, but "since you mentioned it", she went on to talk about how what I do post has given her a certain impression of my kids and how she thinks what I have written will be very hurtful to Jacob if he ever reads it in the future.  She talked about how overhearing an argument between her parents at 18 deeply impacted her because her mom essentially confirmed she was a letdown--which she related back to her struggles with ADHD, which I honestly never knew she had despite being very good friends in high school.  She said that she sees the impact of talk like that in the kids at school, and encouraged me to try to phrase posts more positively so Jacob doesn't have the same rude awakening as an adult that she did.  The thing is, she's not entirely off-base.  I think she was coming from a very sincere place with genuine concerns.  I get it.  I do.  I should be more thoughtful, and I actually think I have been over the past year or two.  I even looked back through nearly a year of posts to see if I was off-base.  The one summer reading post was really the most negative.  The one on Sunday I actually thought was pretty positive--just talking about how critical thinking has seemingly not been a big part of his education thus far (and he's definitely a STEM kid all the way), so we're working through the writing together.  Any others that were borderline really seemed--to me--to be attempts at finding humor in the challenge that is parenting, generally via memes that made me smirk.  So all I can figure is that much of what she was thinking about dates back years, to a time where life with Jacob was really, really hard and I probably couldn't help but vent about it.

I think what bugged me the most was her take on my kids if it was based entirely on Facebook: "I would be led to believe that Jacob is a total pain in the ass with no self-control (and you don’t particularly like him) and that Carter is an angel child whom you wish Jacob was more like."  She even clarified that she knows that's probably not the case, but that's what she would assume.  The thing is, she's not entirely off-base here either.  Jacob is a really, really difficult kid and his impulsiveness is definitely one of our biggest struggles.  Obviously I love him with every fiber of my being, but admittedly, there are moments I don't so much enjoy being around him.  Like when I've told him for the millionth time that he needs to do his summer reading (and do it well because his first impression at school depends on it), and that it is not going away so he needs to just push through and do it.  It gets old, people.  Or like the day I got her message (and it left me pretty shaken up), the first thing he does as we leave camp is complain about the fact that when camp was going to the movies the next day, he would have to get the concession stand "snack pack" like everyone else instead of picking his snack of choice.  Most of the time he complains because he can't eat what everyone else is eating, and the one time he's okay to do that, he complains and wants more.  Much of the time it feels like we can't win with him, and it's hard.  I don't love him any less, but sometimes the frustration is overwhelming.  And as for Carter, no, he's not an angel, but he has been an easier child to raise, no doubt--and who doesn't want that?  And, from a social media perspective, he still smiles more for the camera, so he does end up on my feed more than his brother.  

Even though she said she doesn't necessarily believe those things, it's half-blind judgments like that that make the internet the dumpster fire it is.  It's one thing to have a snap judgment--say, as you watch a tantrumming kid in Target--but it's another to really think that represents anything more than that moment.  If there's anything that parenthood has taught me, it's that we all have bad moments--angry, no-sleep, sick kid, constant-whine-induced moments of weakness--that people would be mortified to see.  But they're just that, moments.  They do not reflect entirely who we are or what our lives are like.  You just never know what someone else is going through.  Maybe the kid has a medical condition.  Maybe the mom hasn't had a break in months.  You just don't know.  In the example of that Target store tantrum, the proper response really is specific to your kid, but people will always see a fault in it.  For some kids, it's best to leave your cart and haul them right out of the store.  For others, it's better to ignore them completely and keep shopping like nothing's happening.  Only you know your kid--or know that you absolutely need what you came for and can't leave until to get it, no matter what happens.  People will judge away regardless (and honestly, if you still give your kid a reward after that, I probably will judge you a little--but only a little, because maybe one tantrum is an improvement over last time!), but no one except you knows what's best in your situation.  And until you've been there, it will always be easy to judge and say that a parent is doing something wrong.

When I responded to her, I tried to explain that Jacob's challenges have been central to our lives for many years.  It has touched every part of our family and changed my life completely.  If I didn't share even a bit of that online, I'd either be superhuman or feel like a fraud.  Mind you, I'm a social media sharer.  Some people aren't and would be mortified to offer up even one detail about their lives.  But for whatever reason, I'm a sharer and I feel better getting that stuff out into the world--for better or for worse.  I'm not going to post only the good stuff because that's not really representative of us.  Too many people judge their own lives so harshly because of the perfection they see online, and I don't want to contribute to that if I can help it.  What we go through with Jacob is part of my reality, so there are going to be moments where it comes out.  It may not be the best way to deal with it, but sometimes I don't know how else to process it.  We already do therapy, but that only goes so far.  My friend suggested getting in closed Facebook groups or something like that, but the thing is, despite our very real struggles, most groups we'd "qualify" for are probably full of more severe issues than ours, and I don't think we'd fit in there either.  We don't have an IEP, we don't have a kid destroying the house, and by all accounts at school he's a pretty normal kid these days.  We're in an odd in-between place--just normal enough, but not quite.

Unfortunately, no matter how much I might change my ways now, a lot of the damage has already been done.  Presumably a lot of what she based her opinions on dates far back, to a time before we all had a greater understanding of the permanence of the internet and what the long-term ramifications can be.  Maybe I would have been more conscious of it back then had I known what I know now.  But then again, do I really care what someone who doesn't know me or my kids in real life thinks?  Not really.  People who know us in person know what we've been through and know what kind of parent I am.  Their opinions matter far more, and even if they are negative, in-person interactions are probably the only thing that will change their mind.  But I probably can't change the opinion of an online friend, because they'll only see what they want to see in those momentarily glimpses into our lives.  I can't really help that and I'm not going to re-wire my life for someone who has little-to-no consequence in our daily lives. I can be more thoughtful, yes, but I still need to live my life and not make myself crazy worrying about the opinions of others.

Of course, then there's this blog.  I come here and spill everything.  But not too many people are reading this one, so maybe it's different.  I consider it a family history at this point and I will not delete it.  Not now, anyway.  This is where I process things, and I'm not going to gloss over the hard stuff.  I don't share everything, but I do share most. 

So what about Jacob?  Jacob knows this blog exists, and he even knows where to find it.  I think he's even read a bit here and there.  After my friend's message on Monday, we chatted in the car on the way home.  I asked him if, despite all the fights we have, he knows how much we love him.  He said yes, and in true kid fashion he listed off a bunch of stuff (basketball camp, sneakers, private school) as proof.  Then I asked him if it bothers him that I sometimes talk about him and our struggles on Facebook, when I'm frustrated or angry.  He said no, basically because he knows we love him and he knows that I was just upset in that moment.  I explained why I was asking those things, and truth be told, I'm not sure he fully grasps the issue, but essentially he was unconcerned.  I honestly think he's well aware of our situation, knows we're frustrated, but also knows that none of it changes how we feel about him.  Like anyone else, he has angry moments where he says mean things to us, and maybe he figures we have the right to do the same?  He doesn't really seem to care what anyone thinks about him (unless, of course, you're talking about his basketball skills), so perhaps he would be unphased.  It's not like he thinks he's had some sort of idyllic childhood, so it might not be a surprise to read about the frustrations later on.

I consider this blog a labor of love.  Clearly I never meant for it to be filled with negativity, but parenthood throws you some curve balls and it evolved.  But for every negative post, there are so many more that document the good times, the victories, and all of the things we've done to try to give Jacob (and Carter) a good life.  Maybe someday he will read it and be hurt by what he sees when it's down "on paper" in front of him.  Again, I don't think much of it will be a surprise, but it could sting.  But I hope he sees the love and dedication, too--the many attempts at trying to make it better, the many trips we took even though we knew they would be hard, that time and time again we gave him the opportunity to do something he loved, no matter how much time or money it involved.  Hopefully he'll see the desperation in some of the posts, the sadness that our challenges have brought, and understand that only something so loved could cause a reaction like that.  It's only hard because it's important.  If we didn't care, it would be easy to write him off and let him fail on his own.  But we can't, and we won't.  And that's what unconditional love is all about.  Have I made mistakes along the way?  Yup--big ones, in fact.  Maybe this blog is one of them.  But there isn't a manual for this and sometimes we just have to find a way.  It won't always be the best one, but survival mode is like that sometimes.  

I think we all have moments as we get older where we find out all of the stuff that our parents did to raise us, and we find out it was hard, even in the best of circumstances.  My friend found out earlier than most when she overheard her parents' conversation, but I think most of us find out when we become parents and see just how much dedication and sacrifice this role takes.  Initially it's things like sleep and a social life, later it might be money or hobbies, and with some it's peace of mind or maybe even their sanity.  It's a hard job.  If you'd have told me pre-pregnancy what parenthood would look like 11 years in, I probably wouldn't have done it.  Not because I don't value my kids, the experience, or the life we have--I do, immensely--but because the fear of the unknown would have been too much to take.  It would have been terrifying to think about willingly changing my life that dramatically and being faced with so many tough choices.  Staying in a good, moderately fulfilling life would have been easier than jumping into something so overwhelming, even if in the end it made me a more well-rounded, fulfilled, and raw/real human being.  None of us know what we're getting into when we see the positive pregnancy test.  You think you want more out of life, so you hope for the best and go for it.  It's a giant gamble, and the payoff is complicated.  But you do it and you find your way through, even if the path isn't always the best one.  

Ultimately, I think that's what I was struggling to communicate to my friend.  Those posts may not have shown Jacob or me in the best light, but in the moment it's hard to know what's best, and you react.  You grasp at any shred of commiseration or support, and that desire generally outweighs (in the moment) the idea that one person may think less of you for sharing it.  In that instant, you just want help or comfort.  And particularly when your child is little, it's not the first thought in your head that they may grow up, dig into your social media account, and have their life shattered.  I suppose we're getting to that point with Jacob now, however.  Before you know it, he will be my Facebook friend and he will regularly see if I say anything about him.   I will probably try not to, but hopefully if I do, he's as blasé about it then as he is about it now.  And if he takes the opportunity to dig deeper into the past, we may have to have another conversation.  I can't change what's been posted, and I refuse to make myself crazy trying to rewrite history with the delete button.  I just have to hope that the love he feels the rest of the time is enough to know that he means everything to us, and a few frustrated moments--online or in person--can never change that.  

(Future Jacob, if you're reading this, just read that last line again.  Thanks.  I love you so much and always will.  No matter what.) 

Ballin'

As I mentioned in my last post, we've had some recent basketball developments.  Less than two weeks ago Craig signed Jacob up for an August league nearby, with the first game last Tuesday.  Games are twice a week all month.  There are four teams, and the last two games will be the playoffs for everyone.  As they don't have practice, it's essentially like a series of scheduled pick-up games, but all with the same team.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but it has been an interesting experience so far.

It takes place inside a warehouse building.  When we drove around to the back, the garage door was open and I could hear squeaking of shoes on the court.  Otherwise I'd never have known it was there.  But what's inside is really nice.  It's not an actual wood floor, just sport court, but the hoops are really nice and overall it's a cool little facility.  The spectator area is just a bunch of folding chairs.  Oddly, we have to pay a couple bucks each to watch his games.  Luckily the league isn't that expensive, but it felt sort of like getting into some underground club the first time we went, given the location and setup!  Jacob is the only white kid on his team, which I think he sort of relishes.  Based on seeing what a lot of college and professional rosters look like, I think he figured at some point he'd end up being the "white guy" on the team.  I guess he's just getting a feel for it earlier than he thought.  The league is for 11-13-year-olds, so he's definitely on the younger end.  There are kids a head taller and probably 80+ pounds heavier than him out there.  This is such an odd age because of kids hitting puberty at different times, and I keep warning Jacob that he, too, is going to change so much in the next couple years.  This league definitely proves that.  But size isn't everything, and you still need skill.  The tallest kid on his team has a heck of a time making a basket from below the hoop, so you just never know where players might excel.  Overall, though, the kids are pretty talented and the level of basketball is head and shoulders above what we saw with Upward.

In his first game, he didn't get any points but he did so well defensively, making a bunch of steals.  He moved the ball well and certainly held his own.  His team came back from a deficit and ended up winning by a nice margin.  Here are a few pictures from that game.  It was fast action, so they're not great.

This was after a scrum to gain possession of the ball

Game two was a bit tougher.  The team they played had three white kids from the east side suburbs who have played together for years and now play travel together.  They basically took over the game and Jacob's team lost by a bunch.  He had a three-pointer, which was good to see.  Right after that he did an amazing fake from the same spot and just missed a closer shot.  But it looked so good!  From what we see right now, he just needs to be more confident--he needs to have faith in his decisions to shoot or pass, and give himself some credit that he could make a shot if he took it.  When he hesitates he gets overpowered pretty easily, but when he plays his game he's great.  He'll get there.

During the course of the week, we found out about tryouts for an AAU team (which is travel, essentially, and would be a rapid rise for him) that's connected to the same organization that runs this facility.  The tryout fee was low, so while it was a longshot, we decided to let Jacob try out.  If nothing else, it would be a good learning opportunity and a good chance for him to gauge where he stands against other kids his age.  Tryouts were Saturday, and let's just say it didn't go awesomely well.  It wasn't bad, but in the words of the coach, he also "didn't stand out."  Craig was frustrated watching him because he wasn't shooting much and was being his usual unselfish self.  It's essentially what we've seen from him in lacrosse the last couple years, too--good but not a stand-out, partly because he is more likely to pass than shoot.  We haven't heard yet whether he made one of the two teams, but the good news is that while they were talking after the tryout, the coach suggested he play in a different league this winter.  He was planning on playing CYO, as it's the next step up from the level of play in Upward, and he had a couple friends to play with.  But this other league is even better, and it's apparently where he needs to be to keep improving.  So that's next on the agenda after an additional month of the league he's in now.  Whether or not he makes this AAU team, it's good to have some next steps and get himself on the radar of the basketball community.

One other random Jacob highlight for the week--of the non-basketball variety--was having his first soft pretzel in about six years.  Gluten-free soft pretzels are pretty hard to come by, and I have long-balked at the $9 price tag of the six-pack that Wegmans carries.  I was feeling generous the other day and gave in, and he has been enjoying them very much!  It's the little things, people!

While Jacob was at his tryout on Saturday, I took Carter to the playground.  He's such a playground fan, but we haven't had as much opportunity this year to go to them.  He'd been asking to go to the town playground by the library for weeks, and I figured it was probably a good day to go since it was a tad cool for the adjacent spray park, which might keep the crowds to a minimum.  It was still full of kids, but it was very manageable.  He had a blast climbing and jumping, and it's amazing how much more he can do as a big kid compared to when it opened two years ago!  Although, he no longer fits in the swing where he and I could swing together, so that's a bummer!  (Sadly, I was also surprised at how worn the playground has gotten in only two years.  The concrete-based structures look like they should be super durable, but I noticed fading, cracking, and mineral deposits throughout.  I feel like this should hold up longer, and maybe it will, but I wonder what the company's guarantee is because I'm sure this one did not come cheap!)

He could climb the ropes but never quite wanted to get on the top of the rocks here!

This is was a high climb!

He was forever having me chase him and often retreated to the top of the slides where he had a quick escape!

Weighing his options as I chase him

From the top of one structure looking toward the spray park

And from the top of  another (where Carter was laying on the rock above)

Playing restaurant through the holes in the rocks

Smiling while balancing on ropes!

We ran around and played for probably an hour, until the big boys were on their way home, and then we made a stop at Aldi before getting home for dinner.

On Sunday we promised the kids we could go mini golfing...if Jacob finished a portion of his summer reading.  He's officially through the first book, and we're now working on the writing portion.  It's a dialectic journal, which essentially means pulling 20 passages from each book and talking about them.  He can talk about how it makes him feel, how the characters might feel, why they did something, how it relates to the rest of the book, why he agrees or disagrees, etc.  He can really talk about almost anything.  But essentially it all boils down to critical thinking about the book--not just regurgitating the plot, but deeper significance--and apparently that's not a strong skill among sixth graders.  Or so a few teacher friends have told me.  So, perhaps this project is being looked at as a starting point for that learning process...or at least, let's hope so.  Thank goodness I read the book, because it has helped tremendously to know plot points and ask pointed questions so he thinks about them in a certain way.  It has been a struggle, though, as drawing the deeper thinking out is like pulling teeth.  He did have an a-ha moment yesterday when he thought of a good one all on his own, but even then, enhancing his writing to get to that 60-word target is a challenge.  For a kid who knew giant words at a young age, it appears that eloquence doesn't always translate to paper.  We'll get there eventually, and he's trying to work through it in manageable pieces, doing three per day.  I've pretty much consented to letting him do the book he read last year for his second one.  We had picked a different one, but I read it and I really think he'd struggle with it.  It's called Loser, by Jerry Spinelli, and follows an outcast kid through elementary school.  His behavior was rather bizarre, and there were times I was a little thrown off by what he was doing (like carrying around a dried, chewed piece of gum as a lucky rock because a little girl gave it to him, or giving his prized hat to a kid because the kid said it was his).  I think it would just annoy him, honestly.  With the book he knows, I think he'll already have an established set of knowledge that may make the writing part easier.  I think he's getting a good enough lesson on book #1, so at this point we're just trying to make it through book #2 before the first week of school.  Anyway, he made his Sunday goal, so off to mini golf we went!

Carter stole the show on the front nine, as he scored three holes-in-one in the first seven holes!  I'm not quite sure how he does it!  He did it on the first hole, the first shot of the day, and then did it twice more!

This one was ridiculous!  He hit it hard enough to launch off the first hump, and then it somehow hit the back of the border and rebounded in.  Crazy!

Both boys got a hole-in-one on hole #7! 

Craig and I held our own as well, and in the end I won with a 40, and Jacob's and my team took the victory again!  But Carter brought up the rear with a respectable 49, so we all did well!  We headed in for some arcade time, and drove our ticket total up closer to 1,000!  Still nothing the boys want to buy, so we'll just keep saving!  But Jacob enjoyed his basketball game (and got so close to the high score twice!) and we all had a fun time.  

So, onward through another week.  More basketball, the last night of Carter's lacrosse, more summer reading "fun", and savoring what's left of summer the best we can...

Proactive Parenting

Life moves fast.  I'm not just talking about summer (per my previous post), but in general.  The days are long but the years are short, as they say, but lately I almost feel like the days are getting shorter, too.  Yes, my work day tends to drag a bit, but as a whole, the weeks are really just flying by right now.  Again, that may just be summer messing with me, but lately I have been shocked at how quickly things are going, to the point that I get to Friday and I'm like, "Wait a second, I had way more to accomplish this week...I need another day!"

The problem I feel like we're running into right now is that we're so busy, so tired, and so intent on just getting through the days and weeks (and all of their assorted "stuff") that there's some sub-par parenting going on.  Not in an entirely bad way, I guess, but it's just not as intentional as I'd like it to be.  There just isn't the time or the brain space to do it the way it should be done, and I feel terrible about it.  If one of us was home with the kids all day, I'm sure our standards would go down in the summer no matter what.  I think that's just human nature and survival, honestly!  But when you're only home with your kids for an hour in the morning and a few hours at night, ideally you want to make the most of it.  But it's just not happening.  Case in point:

• All of my good intentions to keep Carter reading and writing this summer have pretty much fallen by the wayside.  I have tried to get him to read at bedtime periodically, and honestly he's not doing too bad.  But he hasn't been writing much more than his name, so now I'm concerned he'll be behind when he gets to first grade.

• Jacob is still lagging on finishing up his first summer reading book assignment, and I have no idea how we're going to get him to buckle down and do the writing part because clearly writing isn't his strength.  One book will be a challenge, let alone book #2.  Electronics may have to be pulled, but that battle might only make him more obstinate, so we need to be careful.

• Jacob had a ragey couple minutes on Wednesday night because we came home to Craig and Carter watching TV.  That's been a pretty common occurrence this summer, and Jacob is so frustrated because no one wants to go out and play basketball with him.  Our neighborhood sucks for kids his age, honestly, which I feel terrible about, but that puts pressure on the people in our house to keep him company.  In previous summers, the time when I was making dinner was usually outside time, and it just hasn't been lately.  Yes, that generally falls on Craig, and I know he's tired (not just from work but because he's usually working out in the evenings lately), but it's really been bothering Jacob a lot lately.  I'll admit I'm not helping much either, because my evening tasks of cooking and cleaning up are usually enough to make me not want to do anything else once I'm finally done.  Plus we've had more sports than usual this summer, and when we don't have sports there's often an errand to run, so it's easy to run out of time in the evenings before the sun goes down.  

• I really wanted to teach Carter how to ride a bike this summer.  His little bike has the training wheels off and I've had him ride it with me holding on, but we haven't done that nearly enough.  We totally missed the boat with Jacob on this, and Carter is actually getting on the older side now (oops) so I feel like we need to make it a priority.  But when electronics are offered up to him first (or not expressly banned), it's very hard to get him out there and I'm just tired of being the primary one calling him out on it.  He will play outside or inside with toys just fine when there are no other options, but apparently we need to be the ones to motivate him to do so by eliminating other options entirely.

• Bedtime is a mess...for everyone.  Carter doesn't want to get ready for bed when he's told, usually because he's watching a show or playing a game.  I'm usually still recovering from dinner or one of us is working out, so it often takes a bit for one of us to get to the point of getting up ourselves and forcing him upstairs.  We get him ready for bed, and usually one of us ends up falling asleep while laying with him, which minimizes our alone time together and kills the evening for whoever falls asleep.  In the meantime, Jacob wanders upstairs and whoever is still awake is either dozing off themselves or engrossed in something enough to lose track of Jacob.  By the time one of us realizes he's still awake at 10pm, either on his phone or doing a bit of his reading, we're yelling at him to go to bed.  He always takes a while to fall asleep, which means he's often up past 10:30.  Not good.  In the meantime, between the kid struggles and whatever "me time" we try to sneak into the evening, neither of us gets to bed at a reasonable time.  Those darn episodes of "Friends" on Nickelodeon just lull you into complacency every time.  So suddenly it's nearly midnight and I know it will be a rough morning and a rougher workday, which probably also means a rougher evening, too...which just sets us up for failure all over again.

I won't lie--sometimes I feel like I'm fighting these battles solo.  Maybe that's just because I feel like I notice them more and therefore I feel the pressure to resolve them because I'm the one bothered by them.  But parenthood should be a team effort, so at the risk of sounding naggy or accusatory, I probably need to get Craig on board to create a united front.  Why haven't I already?  Well... a) The bedtime issue above usually means we don't have much time to talk, at least not before one of us is exhausted; and b) Sometimes I blog here just to talk this stuff through in my own head to see if venting alone can fix it, or if I can make more sense of it myself before dragging someone else into it.  Clearly if I'm writing about it, it's bothering me enough to take action. 

While I would like more support on these issues, clearly it's not really cropping up on my priority list as much as it should be either, so I have to accept a good chunk of the blame.  We're all just busy and tired in the evenings and most of the time it feels like a gargantuan effort.  And to be fair, Craig was gone for five days and he's had a lot of work-related stuff in the last month or so, so it's probably less visible to him than me anyway.  With his schedule, our sports schedules, and evening errands combined, it's been hard to get in a groove and try to establish any sort of standards.  It's stuff like this that makes parents grateful when school starts and routines fall back into place.  Summer just feels a bit like mayhem, even though our actual schedules aren't that different from the school year.  Everything just feels more casual, I guess, and it disintegrates into chaos if you're not careful. 

At this point in the summer it seems like it's too late to start handing down new rules and regulations, but then again, we will need to get ourselves on track for the fall so maybe starting to right the ship at this stage wouldn't be a bad idea.   But both of us need to be on board and we can't get lazy.  We need to try to get back ahead of the chaos and be proactive about getting the kids on track.  We have to anticipate challenges and find ways to avoid them if we can.  I don't want to be the only one anticipating, though!  I explained some of my frustrations to Craig the other night and he's making efforts in some areas.  I sat down to build magnetic tiles with Carter yesterday, and we had fun at the playground in the afternoon while Jacob was at basketball tryouts.  Speaking of basketball, I have a whole lot of catching up to do in that area--we've had some developments!  But in the meantime, we have a little less than a month left to get all of this figured out before everything changes all over again!  Wish us luck!

Annual Summer Panic Post

I'd start out this post by saying how is it already August, but given the date, I guess I can say, "How is it already one week into August?!"  As usual, summer is flying, and I can't seem to stop myself from wishing away my work weeks in order to maximize my two days to enjoy it.

I feel like there are two Facebook memes I'm relating to hardcore right now.  One says, "August is the Sunday of summer," and the other details a list of "What I've done this summer", and in the end there's only one thing on the list: "Work."  I know that second one isn't entirely true, but when I realize that we had two fewer lacrosse-based adventures and Craig is working most of the rest of the weekends this month, I feel like it's been lacking a bit.  Jacob, in particular, has been mentioning it quite a bit.  Of course, when he says we haven't done anything, I need to remind him he did get a bonus trip to Toronto for the parade, and we had the other Toronto trip before that.  I know Lake Placid and Alex Bay weren't his ideal destinations, but at least it was something!  And yet, I know he's mostly talking about things like the drive-in and visits to mini golf and the arcade, both of which we've done once, and in his mind anything having to do with basketball would be welcomed with open arms.  But when I press him for more ideas, he usually comes up empty.  He honestly would probably be satisfied by more games of family basketball in the driveway, which we try to do periodically, but inevitably those games turn into someone getting hurt or Carter getting mad, or even a complete non-event because we can't agree on a hoop height or ball selection that's Carter-friendly and up to Jacob's standards.  In the end, everything from moods to schedules gets in the way of what we probably should be doing, but I currently feel powerless to fix it.

The first meme is so true, though.  When August hits, it really is that same sort of dreadful anticipation of a Sunday.  You know you still have time to enjoy your weekend, but knowing Monday is already so close taints it.  That's a big struggle for me, as you may recall that one of my favorite parts of being unemployed was not having Sunday evening be a time of dread for me.  August just feels the same, for so many reasons.  Even though there's still plenty of time left to savor, the reality is that (much like Sunday) you need to start getting yourself together so you're not a mess when fall (or Monday) hits.  Whereas July feels like a breath of fresh air after the end-of-school rush, August inevitably has to include a summer reading push, uniform shopping, school supplies, mentally preparing the kids for the challenges ahead, and starting to envision how our schedule will be changing, particularly in the mornings.  It's not as carefree a feeling, and it's definitely a similar anxiety to the Sunday night realizations of not having looked in the backpacks all weekend or needing to mentally meal plan or checking to see if laundry needs to be done.

Don't get me wrong, I love fall.  I love the less humid days and the colorful leaves and the cider and pumpkin spice.  Even putting on jeans feels good by then.  It's a different pace that's usually a relief from the end-of-summer panic.  But I know what comes after it--cold weather, homework struggles, and the roller coaster ride that is the Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas chain of events.  And by then Craig is in-season and that's a challenge of its own.  Mentally I'm definitely not ready for all of that right now, and I think part of it is the lack of summer adventures this year.  We just haven't squeezed enough fun out of it yet, and I'm not sure how we will.

I keep looking to the last week of the month, once Jacob is done with camp.  Between Craig and I, we will need to keep him occupied, whether that means taking vacation time, working from home, or bringing him into the office (that one's more likely to be Craig than me).  Carter is at camp but doesn't have any field trips that week, so I'm probably more likely to pull him out of camp on a random day that week (even though we'd be paying for it) to do something fun.  But the question is, what?  We could just lay around the house and let the kids run amok with screen time and pool time.  Jacob always wants "real" summer vacation, and that's pretty much what he thinks it is.  But I feel like that would go downhill quickly, because even the most frequent TV watcher or video game player gets burned out on that stuff at some point, and it would dissolve into our usual battles pretty quickly.

So, do we do staycation-style activities, like more playgrounds, basketball courts and mini golf?  Or do we head out of town for real activities, or even another mini-vacation?  There are some decent daytripper options around here, from my beloved Corning Museum of Glass to gentle but impressive hikes through Watkins Glen.  I know the kids would give me a ton of resistance with that stuff, though.  I thought about Darien Lake, but I'm afraid that Carter would end up grumpy because he can't ride any of the good rides there.  So then I thought about Kennywood Park near Pittsburgh, because I love it there and he can ride one of their real roller coasters.  The city itself is fun, too, but because school starts early there, the park isn't open during the week at the end of the month, so we'd be stuck on a busier weekend day.  I have a cousin that loves Knoebel's Amusement Park in the middle of Pennsylvania, and it looks perfect for us, but what if the weather is terrible?  Could we wait and see if we could pull it off last minute?  Or should we finally go do the touristy stuff in Niagara Falls?  We've never done the Maid of the Mist or the Cave of the Winds or any other assortment of tourist traps there aside from a few things on Clifton Hill, and we could even stay at my parents' for free.  Any of those sound fun and relatively doable, right?  But then I think we should just save our money for something bigger, like Disney...but then I go back to the "you only get 18 summers" refrain and don't want to feel like we wasted summer by not doing anything super fun.

The problem is that time at home just isn't harmonious so we need to have structured activities.  However, I find that my kids are either not suited to the "free" memories, or maybe we're just not looking in the right places.  I struggle with the balance between doing things my kids will like and doing things that I think they should like and will hopefully appreciate in the long run.  I mean, they'd probably rather just spend hundreds of dollars in the mini golf arcade, but we should encourage them to see and do new things.  Not only will it make them more cultured and hopefully more adventurous as adults/parents, but hopefully they won't blame us as adults for deficiencies in those areas, claiming that we never took them anywhere!  "But you didn't want to go" probably won't be an acceptable response, I'm guessing!

As much as I loved the laziness of my childhood summers, there's no doubt that the "special" things--car trips, amusement parks, crafty days at Artpark with my cousins, my family reunion at the beach, and other once-or-twice-a-summer outings--were the the things I remember most.  My kids are different (both from me and from each other), but I want them to have real memories of more than just the local arcade or a screen to attach to their childhood.  I know that we can't (and shouldn't) make every moment magical, but you know what?  Parents need those memories too!  Particularly when you have challenging kids, anything you can do to focus their energy on something fun, and to have memories with them that don't predominantly involve yelling and disciplining, is so important.  We spend our days working and don't even get a summer vacation anymore, so adventures are important for our sanity, too!

I saw a whole Facebook post full of comments today about a blog post criticizing parents for a case of FOMO on behalf of their kids.  In essence, it said your three-year-old doesn't need to go to Disney or have every moment made magical because it's not our jobs to check everything off their bucket list by the time they hit 18.  I understood their point, but most of the commenters were explaining that they prioritize experiences over things, they want their kids to be exposed to different people and places, and that the parents want to do those things themselves anyway.  It's not about checking off a bucket list, but rather giving them a variety of experiences and making memories as a family.  One commenter said that those experiences are also about being able to be fully present with your kids, which is harder to do at home when chores and errands tend to steal your attention.  I wholeheartedly agree with that, too.

So what do we do?  I still have no idea.  Stay tuned, I guess...

Git 'er done...

It was quite the week around our house.  Carter started at camp #2 for the summer, and Jacob was off to basketball camp at the University of Rochester.  After we'd decided to split the summer between Carter's old daycare and the fancier Doodle Bugs, we were eagerly awaiting this week for the switch.  His time at his old daycare was fine--it was nice to have some familiar faces, and they seemed to keep him busy enough, but I never felt like he was getting much out of it.  Only one field trip, a few lackluster theme weeks, and not even a lot of projects.  But since Doodle Bugs, which we've sort of pined after since we toured four years ago and marveled at the offerings, somehow became affordable, we figured it was worth a test run.  I'm not sure if their price went down or everyone else went up, but we were excited to have the chance to try it out.  He did a couple field trips this week--the science museum and the yogurt place next door--and seemed to enjoy their water balloon day and his outside time.  So far so good, I guess!

As for Jacob, he did a full week basketball camp on campus instead of his usual sports camp at the medical center gym, and he was very eager to spend entire days playing basketball.  He definitely seemed to enjoy it and was sad to get back to normal this morning.  I don't think he was quite as successful as *he* planned on being, but he did really well based on his evaluation at the end of the week.  They played full days with only a break for lunch and a couple water breaks, doing skills and scrimmages.  He even got to eat "normal" lunch in the dining hall, which was exciting for him (and me, who's been packing his lunch nearly every day since the start of Kindergarten)!

We had another session of Carter's lacrosse on Tuesday, then on Wednesday we headed downtown in the evening for the farewell party for a downtown restaurant that's been the Knighthawks' home base for years.  It was where we celebrated a couple championships and Craig went to countless postgames.  We went to one wedding and one vow renewal there, too.  It's sad to see it go, but the downtown climate got too difficult for them financially and it's time to move on to something new.  It was sad for everyone, but the owners are looking forward to their next phase.  I did get to finally meet Craig's boss, his wife, and their kids, which was fun.  Our kids were pretty grumpy, of course--apparently Jacob didn't get enough basketball that day and really wanted to play more at home--but it was fun to catch up with some of our Knighthawks fan friends in the middle of the off-season.  Oh, and it's rare I get to wander around downtown these days, so I took advantage of the walk to and from the restaurant...

Little details...

Rochester's own Frederick Douglass

Genesee River looking toward High Falls

Times Square Building, featuring the Wings of Progress

Mercury

On Thursday Craig left for Los Angeles, to cover the biggest box lacrosse tournament in the country.  It spanned from youth up to college, and Craig wrote some articles for the organization putting it on.  It was a neat opportunity for him, but we're very much looking forward to seeing his face when we all wake up in the morning tomorrow!  He even got to sneak in a trip to Disneyland, and I'm sure he very much enjoyed his time away from our bickering boys!  Of course, that left me as the sole referee back at home.  Yes, they made me absolutely crazy because the teasing and battling and nit-picking nearly never stopped, but we managed to fit in a decent weekend nonetheless.

I took off work on Friday because we get two "free" Fridays off and I was ready for a day off (and running out of time).  It wasn't ideal since I was flying solo and therefore had to get up at my normal time and drop both kids off in two separate towns, but it worked out because I was able to start my to do list early!  I had to register Carter for the afterschool program, call Spalding (finally) to order parts for our hoop that was damaged back in May, and start packing for our weekend trip.  I also did a load of laundry--the last batch of my winter clothes that had been hanging around the laundry room (literally) for about a month and a half waiting to be washed and put away...just in time to pull them out again in probably another month and a half.  Sigh.

But my big project for the day was to start sorting through the mess of baby/kid stuff in the crawl space.  As the kids have outgrown things, from toys to clothes to gear, I have essentially just packed it away in the crawl space.  Even things like sippy cups and extra supplies, just because I had this irrational fear of accidentally ending up pregnant and kicking myself for not keeping that stuff around.  In this round I didn't even touch the dozen-plus bins of clothes, but I figured I could start by tackling the problem spot--the precarious pile of toys and gear that was unorganized and almost impossible to climb through to reach our outdoor hose shut-off valve twice a year.  Last week when I found myself with a free afternoon after my work's annual baseball game summer event, I forced myself to stop at the consignment store to ask about their process and policies.  I knew I should use my day off for that, and if I didn't stop in then, I was afraid I'd lose my nerve.  I was also afraid that if I waited until the last minute, I'd find out it wasn't a good option and then I'd be stuck with either a lot of stuff with no destination, or a day off with no solid purpose.  So I did it, and psyched myself up for Friday.

Anyway, in that unruly pile was a bunch of toys, two high chairs and a booster seat, two potties, a bathtub, a bag of stuffed animals, multiple bags of sippy cups and bottles, a stack of crib sheets and changing pad covers, a bin of bibs and burp cloths, two baby carriers, a vibrating seat, and so much more.  Despite the limited space (it's cramped back there already and I lost count how many times I bumped my head on the giant beam running through there), I started piles--things I figured I could sell at the consignment store, things I was keeping, things I knew I needed to sort through more, and things I knew I couldn't sell or donate through standard means, but that still seemed too valuable to toss.  That last group includes the bathtub, potties, and the linens.  I knew the consignment store wouldn't take the hygiene items, and I figured the bibs and burp cloths probably needed some de-staining and washing (much like the baby clothes did when I pulled them out before Carter was born), but they still have a lot of wear left and I'm wondering if there are other places that might take them--like shelters or places that help young moms, or maybe even a daycare would take extra linens as backups.  But it was easy enough to pull out the toys and some of the gear.  I wiped the toys down, corralled loose parts, and even remembered to track down instruction manuals for most of them.  I set aside what I wanted to take to the consignment store, left another batch of stuff to clean, and set aside a few more things that probably just need to be donated elsewhere.  The high chairs were probably my biggest annoyance, as the chairs themselves are in great shape, but the straps (which generally can't be removed) are a bit stained.  I'm still going to work on them, and maybe even ask the consignment store if stained straps are normal or not, and hopefully eventually I can find a spot for those as well.  But in the end I took over a solid carload and a half to consignment.

I won't lie.  It was hard.  Maybe not as hard as I thought, but hard.  Most of the toys were of the electronic variety--all of the singing, light-up, interactive, battery-guzzling toys that made up birthdays and Christmases for years.  Most of them got plenty of use and were well-loved, and yet most were in really good shape.  But what are we going to do with them?  It occurred to me as I went through this process that the electronic stuff just doesn't have the same staying power as most of the non-electronic toys that my mom saved for us.  I actually only set aside three things: the Incrediblock, a shopping cart/kitchen, and the Little People parking ramp.  Yes, two of those have electronic elements, but even if those parts don't work 15 years from now, they're still fun toys.  The Incrediblock (which goes with the always adorable Peek-a-blocks) was my much beloved eBay purchase after it (temporarily) got discontinued, but it worked out perfectly because I got lots of blocks in addition to the big block for way cheaper than any of it would have been in the store.  The shopping cart was Carter's impulse half birthday purchase when he was obsessed with the shopping cart at daycare.  He also seemed to enjoy playing with the kitchen there, but because he was a boy I was hesitant to go all out with a full kitchen set (I know, sexist), so when I found both of them combined into one toy for a fraction of the price, I was sold!  The Little People parking ramp is just solid, old school fun.  I'm not sure it will endure quite as well as my Little People stuff, but I'll keep it around anyway.  To be fair, there are still an absurd amount of toys around the house, and a good fraction of those will probably be kept once the time comes to pack them away.  Those toys are generally the more universal, timeless ones, which is also why many of them are still in active rotation.  The Legos, Duplos, Hot Wheels, Playmobil, magnetic tiles, and maybe the Imaginext (?) will be packed away for the boys, to bring out years from now when they have their own kids or are ready to move them to their own house, or to keep at our house for visiting grandchildren.  I loved the toys at my grandma's house, and my kids have loved the toys at their grandparents' house.  Someday, hopefully it will be our turn.  As long as we have the space, I'm cool with it. 

I took the first carload, and there were a couple other people selling at the same time so I offered to go get my second load and come back in a bit.  By the time I brought that load, it was nearly time to leave to pick up Jacob from his last day of camp.  They still needed to tally things up, so I said I'd be back at 4:30.  I had a few minutes to kill before I had to be there, and I was hot from all the loading and unloading, so I stopped for my guilty pleasure, a Speedy Freeze from the gas station, and headed to campus.  I found my parking spot to be rather interesting, as I could see a little of everything from there.

Way in the back behind the trees is Wilson Commons, built in the 60s and designed by famous architect I.M. Pei.  In the foreground LeChase Hall, home of the Warner School of Education and one of the newest buildings on campus.  It vaguely looks like the original buildings on campus, but with a modern twist.

To my side was the fraternity quad, home of fancy looking fraternity houses that I think fall under the Georgian style of architecture.

It made for a nice little quiet moment in the midst of a busy day.  On the way back to Greece, Jacob obsessed over his basketball evaluation and I tried to explain to him that having all 3s, 4s, and 5s was really good.  He was disappointed they lost the championship game, but all in all it was a great week and he's really wishing there were more weeks of that camp!

We stopped back at the consignment store to cash out.  I ended up with $58, which is more than I would have had from just donating, but not a lot for all that I sold back.  Less work than a yard sale, though!  I took one last photo of the bulk of our stuff, and that was it!

In the end, we said good-bye to the coolest little ride-on car that popped balls out the front, the jumperoo, the little baseball tee, the ball popper, the mini-basketball hoop, a bag of ball pit balls, a soft-sided bus, a singing fire truck, a shape sorter, a corn popper, two baby laptops, two puzzles, a Halloween costume, an Elmo's World cell phone, and a couple extra random toys.  They gave back a vibrating rocker, two talking Elmos, the lion walker, the cutest little piano toy, a rolling music-playing ball, a Moby wrap, a shopping cart cover, and some other random little stuff.  Most of it will be donated, but I'm trying to find homes for some.  I'm giving my new mom co-worker the walker, the piano, the ball, and a tummy time mat that she requested before I took anything over.  I'm glad they could go to a good home.  A couple days later, the whole thing still makes me sad, but I know it had to happen.

We made a quick Wegmans run to pick up ingredients for the food I was making for reunion #2, then picked up Carter.  After dinner, I decided we needed to mark one more thing off the to-do list.  We hopped in the car and went over to Walmart to do school shopping.  Carter only needed a handful of things, but Jacob needed a couple dozen.  It was not the easiest trip, but it really had to be done before the folder and binder colors became limited.  And even then, we left without two two-inch binders because they didn't have a green one and the only blue ones were super heavy duty ones and therefore quite expensive.  We also still need to get Carter some headphones, but Five Below is the place to go for those!  I was mentally and physically exhausted by the end, but hey, at least it was close to done.  And after one half-successful Target trip on Sunday (we got locker shelves), I ordered the binders from Target online and they'll be here by the end of the week.  But anyway, when we came out from Walmart, I was amazed by the view.  This doesn't really do it justice...

My real camera couldn't capture the fading sunset, so I used my phone which made everything pixelated but sort of artsy.  The sliver of an orange-ish crescent moon was magical.  The parking lot lights made it all awkward, but the funky lighting in the trees ended up sort of cool.

On Saturday morning, we had two tasks on the agenda--the library and the uniform store.  I was determined to get the uniform ball rolling by going to the store that has the shirts we need.  Jacob tried on a couple to get the sizing down, and despite his general lack of excitement about the whole situation, he handled it well and we ordered six--two polos, two short-sleeve oxfords, and two long-sleeve oxfords, one color of each available in each style.  We'll just have to feel out his use and see if we need more, or need to buy him a fleece down the road.  We still have pants and shoes to go, but it's a start.  At the library we had to take back our last load of books, renew Jacob's summer reading book, pick out book #2, and get Carter a new load of bedtime books.  Jacob is only a couple chapters away from finishing The Trumpet of the Swan.  I finished it on Friday.  While it's certainly not a 6th grader's style, it wasn't too bad by the end.  Weird, but cute enough.  He still needs to do his writing part, but we can work through that now that the book has been renewed.  I convinced him to pick a new book for #2.  It's pretty short and seems like an easy read, so we'll see how that goes.  It was actually one of the few our library had, but worst case scenario we can go back to the one he's already read.  But I think he'll be good!

Back at home, we ate lunch and finished packing up before heading to my family reunion.  Despite Jacob being a bit grumpy about the lack of basketball (as usual), we had a good time.  We played some corn hole and badminton, and I ate way too much and enjoyed time with a couple generations of cousins, plus my usual aunts and uncles.  The weather was perfect.  Carter nodded off pretty quickly in the car on the way to my parents'.  Sunday was just church, quick shopping, and a tasty lunch with my parents before loading up and heading out.  We stopped at the park on our way out of town so Jacob could try to play on his favorite court and Carter could get some playground time.  Shockingly, the court was free, but unfortunately Jacob kept getting freaked out by people nearby.  First he thought someone had a gun (!), and then he thought people were pointing at him and talking about him.  Not sure what was actually happening, but I gave Carter a solid 20 minutes on the playground before we got on the road.  Back at home, the kids wanted to do a movie night, but after no one could agree on a movie and I started freaking out about how messy the entire house was, we had a quiet night.  Not my best mom moment, but after a challenging weekend of wrangling them alone, my sanity needed some reinforcements, and the clean-up was needed.  Today was fine enough for a Monday, and I even fit in a workout.  Now I'm eagerly awaiting Craig's arrival.  He should be landing at any moment now.

Tomorrow is lacrosse for Carter and Jacob's first basketball game in a new league.  More on that soon, I'm sure!  Let's just hope this week can be as productive and fun as the weekend was!