Annual Summer Panic Post

I'd start out this post by saying how is it already August, but given the date, I guess I can say, "How is it already one week into August?!"  As usual, summer is flying, and I can't seem to stop myself from wishing away my work weeks in order to maximize my two days to enjoy it.

I feel like there are two Facebook memes I'm relating to hardcore right now.  One says, "August is the Sunday of summer," and the other details a list of "What I've done this summer", and in the end there's only one thing on the list: "Work."  I know that second one isn't entirely true, but when I realize that we had two fewer lacrosse-based adventures and Craig is working most of the rest of the weekends this month, I feel like it's been lacking a bit.  Jacob, in particular, has been mentioning it quite a bit.  Of course, when he says we haven't done anything, I need to remind him he did get a bonus trip to Toronto for the parade, and we had the other Toronto trip before that.  I know Lake Placid and Alex Bay weren't his ideal destinations, but at least it was something!  And yet, I know he's mostly talking about things like the drive-in and visits to mini golf and the arcade, both of which we've done once, and in his mind anything having to do with basketball would be welcomed with open arms.  But when I press him for more ideas, he usually comes up empty.  He honestly would probably be satisfied by more games of family basketball in the driveway, which we try to do periodically, but inevitably those games turn into someone getting hurt or Carter getting mad, or even a complete non-event because we can't agree on a hoop height or ball selection that's Carter-friendly and up to Jacob's standards.  In the end, everything from moods to schedules gets in the way of what we probably should be doing, but I currently feel powerless to fix it.

The first meme is so true, though.  When August hits, it really is that same sort of dreadful anticipation of a Sunday.  You know you still have time to enjoy your weekend, but knowing Monday is already so close taints it.  That's a big struggle for me, as you may recall that one of my favorite parts of being unemployed was not having Sunday evening be a time of dread for me.  August just feels the same, for so many reasons.  Even though there's still plenty of time left to savor, the reality is that (much like Sunday) you need to start getting yourself together so you're not a mess when fall (or Monday) hits.  Whereas July feels like a breath of fresh air after the end-of-school rush, August inevitably has to include a summer reading push, uniform shopping, school supplies, mentally preparing the kids for the challenges ahead, and starting to envision how our schedule will be changing, particularly in the mornings.  It's not as carefree a feeling, and it's definitely a similar anxiety to the Sunday night realizations of not having looked in the backpacks all weekend or needing to mentally meal plan or checking to see if laundry needs to be done.

Don't get me wrong, I love fall.  I love the less humid days and the colorful leaves and the cider and pumpkin spice.  Even putting on jeans feels good by then.  It's a different pace that's usually a relief from the end-of-summer panic.  But I know what comes after it--cold weather, homework struggles, and the roller coaster ride that is the Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas chain of events.  And by then Craig is in-season and that's a challenge of its own.  Mentally I'm definitely not ready for all of that right now, and I think part of it is the lack of summer adventures this year.  We just haven't squeezed enough fun out of it yet, and I'm not sure how we will.

I keep looking to the last week of the month, once Jacob is done with camp.  Between Craig and I, we will need to keep him occupied, whether that means taking vacation time, working from home, or bringing him into the office (that one's more likely to be Craig than me).  Carter is at camp but doesn't have any field trips that week, so I'm probably more likely to pull him out of camp on a random day that week (even though we'd be paying for it) to do something fun.  But the question is, what?  We could just lay around the house and let the kids run amok with screen time and pool time.  Jacob always wants "real" summer vacation, and that's pretty much what he thinks it is.  But I feel like that would go downhill quickly, because even the most frequent TV watcher or video game player gets burned out on that stuff at some point, and it would dissolve into our usual battles pretty quickly.

So, do we do staycation-style activities, like more playgrounds, basketball courts and mini golf?  Or do we head out of town for real activities, or even another mini-vacation?  There are some decent daytripper options around here, from my beloved Corning Museum of Glass to gentle but impressive hikes through Watkins Glen.  I know the kids would give me a ton of resistance with that stuff, though.  I thought about Darien Lake, but I'm afraid that Carter would end up grumpy because he can't ride any of the good rides there.  So then I thought about Kennywood Park near Pittsburgh, because I love it there and he can ride one of their real roller coasters.  The city itself is fun, too, but because school starts early there, the park isn't open during the week at the end of the month, so we'd be stuck on a busier weekend day.  I have a cousin that loves Knoebel's Amusement Park in the middle of Pennsylvania, and it looks perfect for us, but what if the weather is terrible?  Could we wait and see if we could pull it off last minute?  Or should we finally go do the touristy stuff in Niagara Falls?  We've never done the Maid of the Mist or the Cave of the Winds or any other assortment of tourist traps there aside from a few things on Clifton Hill, and we could even stay at my parents' for free.  Any of those sound fun and relatively doable, right?  But then I think we should just save our money for something bigger, like Disney...but then I go back to the "you only get 18 summers" refrain and don't want to feel like we wasted summer by not doing anything super fun.

The problem is that time at home just isn't harmonious so we need to have structured activities.  However, I find that my kids are either not suited to the "free" memories, or maybe we're just not looking in the right places.  I struggle with the balance between doing things my kids will like and doing things that I think they should like and will hopefully appreciate in the long run.  I mean, they'd probably rather just spend hundreds of dollars in the mini golf arcade, but we should encourage them to see and do new things.  Not only will it make them more cultured and hopefully more adventurous as adults/parents, but hopefully they won't blame us as adults for deficiencies in those areas, claiming that we never took them anywhere!  "But you didn't want to go" probably won't be an acceptable response, I'm guessing!

As much as I loved the laziness of my childhood summers, there's no doubt that the "special" things--car trips, amusement parks, crafty days at Artpark with my cousins, my family reunion at the beach, and other once-or-twice-a-summer outings--were the the things I remember most.  My kids are different (both from me and from each other), but I want them to have real memories of more than just the local arcade or a screen to attach to their childhood.  I know that we can't (and shouldn't) make every moment magical, but you know what?  Parents need those memories too!  Particularly when you have challenging kids, anything you can do to focus their energy on something fun, and to have memories with them that don't predominantly involve yelling and disciplining, is so important.  We spend our days working and don't even get a summer vacation anymore, so adventures are important for our sanity, too!

I saw a whole Facebook post full of comments today about a blog post criticizing parents for a case of FOMO on behalf of their kids.  In essence, it said your three-year-old doesn't need to go to Disney or have every moment made magical because it's not our jobs to check everything off their bucket list by the time they hit 18.  I understood their point, but most of the commenters were explaining that they prioritize experiences over things, they want their kids to be exposed to different people and places, and that the parents want to do those things themselves anyway.  It's not about checking off a bucket list, but rather giving them a variety of experiences and making memories as a family.  One commenter said that those experiences are also about being able to be fully present with your kids, which is harder to do at home when chores and errands tend to steal your attention.  I wholeheartedly agree with that, too.

So what do we do?  I still have no idea.  Stay tuned, I guess...