Having a second child is fascinating, because it gives you great insight into your first child. You see the things you got off easy on, or the things you never knew were way harder than they had to be. You see which genes remained strong for round two and which ones got to mix things up a bit. You start to get a little more context into the experience you had the first time around, and I definitely appreciated the experience way more this time.
When it comes to similarities, there are a select few. They both have dark brown eyes like me. They're both super skinny, but thanks to Carter's challenges since he's started solid food, he's just a little smaller than Jacob was at this age. They both dealt with reflux at a young age, though Jacob's issues manifested more in a nasty cough after bronchiolitis, whereas Carter was a hardcore spitter-upper with a nasty milk intolerance. At this age they were both very smiley with a determined, mischievous side. They both have a way of enchanting people with just a smile. Carter is gravitating toward "ball" as one of his first words, just like Jacob. While there's a very slight resemblance in some of their pictures, that's about where the similarities end.
Eating is one of the biggest differences. Jacob fought me on food from the get-go. He was a pretty good nurser, but even with that he was a little hot and cold. Solid foods were a nightmare, and to this day he's a challenge at the dinner table. Carter, on the other hand, has been far more consistent. He is beyond excited every time he sees a bottle. He was on formula since he was six weeks old, and for the most part he's loved his bottles. Despite the rice intolerance and concerns with dairy, he has been a champ with table foods since he got past the puree stage. He loves most of what I give him and lately he's been a bottomless pit. I can't get certain things (meats, grapes, yogurt melts) on his tray fast enough. It's almost like, "Oh, so this is what it's like to have a kid that likes to eat!" Ultimately I do hope that Carter avoids the Celiac diagnosis and his rice intolerance wraps up soon. I would appreciate, though, if they could have the no-allergy thing in common.
Sleeping is another difference, although we're still pretty early on in this one. Jacob definitely had more sleeping challenges early on. Part of it was because he was sick a lot, but he also had a harder time at night while teething. Carter has been such a good baby at bedtime for most of his life. Both were very good about sleeping through the night, but I think Carter's been a little more consistent. Jacob was a great sleeper for years and only recently has imploded into a kid who wakes up multiple times each night looking for company, so I guess the jury is still out on this one.
They've both had their fair share of issues with pooping. Carter had worse diaper rash and more consistent constipation issues, but I'd venture that Jacob had more extremes--tons of blowouts, meatball-sized poops when he was most constipated, etc. The one big difference is their personalities on the changing table. Jacob was often at his happiest up there, but Carter is not a fan. He was miserable for the first couple months of his life each and every time he was up there, chilled out for nine months or so, and then decided again that it was the worst thing ever. To this day diaper changes are pretty miserable, be it because he's squirmy or just generally uncomfortable. Not sure what's causing his current issues, but he definitely lets me know he's not happy. He barely lets me wipe him most of the time, whereas Jacob was always relatively cooperative.
Jacob was a serious snuggler for a long time. As a baby he'd snuggle right into your shoulder and sleep there for hours. For years he'd nap with Craig all the time, and loved to cuddle during movies. Even now, despite our challenges with him, he can barely fall asleep without someone snuggling him, and when he wakes up multiple times each night, he's always looking for a snuggle buddy. Early on, Carter wouldn't nap unless he was sleeping on someone, so I thought he was destined to be a snuggler. And while he can snuggle, he's much more likely to look around or find something else to do. He's busier during the day, and at night he's more eager to get into his crib than be rocked to sleep. As much as he loves people, he seems to prefer to get into his bed and snuggle in there.
Jacob was first to hold up his head when on his belly, but Carter crawled earlier. I think Carter also pulled up earlier. He seemed to be on track to walk first, too, but his recent illnesses seemed to derail that a bit. He's almost back to where he was a few weeks ago, standing without holding on and trying to walk while holding hands, but I still think it may be a couple months before he walks on his own full time. Jacob didn't walk regularly until about 16 months, which may put them nearly even. Most of this stuff has yet to be seen, but based on what I've seen so far, I have a feeling they're going to excel at different skills in general. Jacob is very smart and in the past year or so an artistic side has emerged. It took years before his drawings looked like anything, and suddenly not only were they recognizable, they were great. Carter doesn't seem to acknowledge talking quite as much as Jacob did at this stage. We had Jacob holding up one finger on his first birthday when we asked him how old he was, but Carter doesn't quite seem to mimic as readily or understand certain instructions yet. Jacob was probably advanced, but my guess is that Carter's strengths will be very different yet no less strong.
Jacob has been all sports, all the time, since he was a baby. He liked puppies for a while, I suppose, but his first toy of choice was a ball, and pretty much after that it was any sort of stick, bat, or other sports-related equipment. He was going to games from the time he was six months old, and he would sit and watch intently. It took a long time before he would actually focus on the TV at home, but the main thing to catch his attention was sports. He liked Elmo, but sports were definitely his thing. Carter loves playing with balls, and he can even throw one now. He also loves playing with mini hockey sticks and lightweight plastic golf clubs to hit those balls. But he also loves trucks! I'm convinced the kids in the same room with us at church got him going, because they'd push trucks around and he always wanted to play with them. Now he will push trucks around the room at daycare, and he usually gravitates toward a certain musical firetruck at home. He loves pushing the ride-on car he got for his birthday, too. One of his other favorite pastimes is crawling into a little tunnel we have. Our baby play mat/gym had a feature to convert it to a tunnel (about two feet long, at most), and he loves crawling in there and peeking out at us. I think he's used the tunnel and firetruck far more already than Jacob ever did. Oh, and Carter does not have the same attention span at sporting events that Jacob did. He definitely gets a lot antsier, and I realize now how lucky I was to have Jacob be the kid that I took to countless hockey, lacrosse, and soccer games while Craig was working for multiple teams. I'm actually a little relieved that Carter isn't SO into the sports thing. I want him to like sports, for sure, but knowing all we've been through with Jacob, a casual enjoyment sounds like a pleasant change from full-time obsession.
From the moment Carter was born, I knew that I wouldn't have much trouble telling the boys' baby pictures apart. While certain expressions or angles may look similar, as a whole they don't look alike. When Carter was born, he was so hairy and his complexion was so much darker. His skin was dark (in retrospect, I think he was just really pink), and his hair was practically black. Jacob was always very fair with lighter hair. Both boys' hair has lightened as they've gotten older (Jacob's went from brown to blond, and Carter's has gone from very dark brown to medium brown), and Carter's complexion is plenty light now, but as a whole he's still a bit darker. Jacob has his dimple, while Carter has those chubby cheeks that everyone loves. Both boys are super skinny, but Carter seems to be a bit skinnier at this point, for whatever reason, even though his face always makes him look like a chub. Still, face-wise Jacob is much more me, and Carter is Craig, based on Craig's baby picture, at least. I don't see much resemblance among my immediate family (at least, not like some families), so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they're different.
I suppose this goes without saying based on everything else, but the two boys couldn't be more different personality-wise. I guess it's hard to know for sure how Jacob compared to Carter at this same age. I know that the happy-but-determined label fits both of them at a year old, but I do have to say that as a whole Carter has been far more "chill" for most of his life. He's a huge people person who does everything in his power to catch people's eye when we're out in public. He's gone to bed without a fuss, eaten most of what's on his plate, and sat calmly through countless events that most kids would have freaked out through. Yes, he's getting considerably more impatient and is showing his defiant, troublemaking side more often, but as a whole there's still a sense of calm in him that I don't remember from Jacob. Jacob was very social as a baby, and still can be despite his awkwardness. But nowadays he's much more intense about things, which makes for a major contrast when he and his brother are in the same vicinity. Carter just loves Jacob so much, even though Jacob is nothing but mean to him. Jacob will yell at him and Carter will smile. Jacob will stomp and Carter will laugh. Carter just wants to play with him and have a good time, but Jacob wants nothing to do with him. Of course, I worry that Carter's complete obliviousness to Jacob's anger is some small sign that he'll have similar issues to Jacob (who often doesn't flinch when we're angry with him), but then he'll do something completely differently than Jacob would have and I breathe a small, momentary sigh of relief. I wish I could see both boys at this age side-by-side, but I know there are no guarantees anyway and comparing is just futile.
They're both individuals, that's for sure. Sometimes I wonder how we could have produced two such different kids with the same gene pool, but then I'll look back in the blog or have a deja vu moment where I realize they're not that different after all. It's all relative, I guess. It just depends on the moment, the context, and how much sleep I've had :)
Parenthood is certainly a trip, but when you add another passenger, it definitely becomes more of an adventure.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Thursday, April 3, 2014
My Little Mirror
For most of Jacob's life, people have remarked how he looks just like me. I definitely see the resemblance, but I do think there is some Craig mixed in there, too. Carter, incidentally, is just the opposite. He looks a lot like Craig's baby pictures, at the very least, but if I'm lucky once in a while I will see a face that vaguely resembles something on my side. One of these days I hope to do a post on the differences and similarities between the boys, but for today I'm putting myself on the spot instead.
Whenever one of the boys has come up against some sort of challenge, be it the food sensitivities or Jacob's respiratory issues early on or his behavioral issues now, as a parent it's hard not to wonder why. What caused it?
Is it genetic? From whose side?
Is it something I did while I was pregnant? Did I eat too much of something or not enough of something else? Did I spend too much time near electronic devices or did the jostle during my car accidents actually do something? Was it too much stress, too much movement, or not enough vitamins?
Was it just a random freak-of-nature thing? An unlucky mutation?
Did we make parenting mistakes? Did we start early enough teaching proper behaviors? Or did we start too early? Should we have spanked? Have we yelled too much? Was there a better way to do this? Should we have pushed for screening earlier when some of his behavior problems first started?
I think in most cases there just isn't a good answer. If it is something we did, there's probably something else we could have done that would have created a different but equally challenging situation. But in most cases it just is what it is. Most likely it's just how the genes fell in, with possibly a little assistance from each side and a bit of bad luck thrown in. And, of course, for every bad gene/bad luck scenario, there are so many others that turned out fine...so there's that. Ultimately I know that there's no reason to play the blame game (unless we were having a third and wanted to do things differently), because this is the hand we were dealt and we just have to deal with it, no matter how we got here.
Still, when I watch Jacob, in particular, there are moments where I see myself...and it isn't pretty. I'll sit there thinking, "Why on earth is he doing that?" and then I'll think back to my own childhood or even look at myself now and go, "Oh. Yeah. That's why."
For example, since his issues have gotten worse, he's had a terrible habit of sucking/chewing on his clothes. He's done it to his winter coat for a couple years now, but his shirt is more of a recent thing. Some days the neckband on his shirt is totally stretched out and water-stained. It's gross. As I was thinking to myself one day about why he does that, I remembered that when I was a kid I used to crew quite a bit on the drawstrings for my hood on at least one coat, and I also recall doing some damage to the vinyl seat trim in one of our cars. Random, I know. I have less of a memory of what age that was at, and no recollection about why I was doing it, but once I remembered those things, I guess I could relate a little more...even if it still drives me nuts that he does it.
I was on the phone with his teacher the other day because he'd come home saying that he got "red" on Friday (the lowest color on the behavior chart), which is usually accompanied by a note or call home. We got neither, and he couldn't tell us why he'd ended up on red, so I emailed her Friday night to see what was up. Incidentally, I don't think he was trying to be evasive when we asked. I honestly think he just doesn't understand the consequences, or at least the direct correlation between the two. He knows he's not supposed to be doing something, and I think that when he stops doing it once when he's asked, he thinks he did what he was supposed to. But what I think he doesn't realize is that he does things over and over again, and each time he's expected to comply. When he didn't consistently do what he was supposed to, he moved down. I know we can't expect the teacher to constantly re-explain things to him, but it's hard when he doesn't seem to have the full picture in his head. Sometimes he complains that he doesn't get a second chance before he gets moved down, but in reality his teacher definitely doesn't hold him to the same standard as the other kids. She knows he's operating on a different set of parameters and tries to keep that in mind. Some days he's done fantastically, and other days, not so much. But what I think he doesn't realize is that she is giving him chances but that he's ignoring them--either he doesn't realize she's telling him something, or he blocks it out, or doesn't realize that not listening will involve a consequence. By the time he understands, he's on his last chance and down he goes. Of course, I'm not there to confirm this, but based on everything we've heard, that's what I'm gathering might be happening.
Anyway...she was going over how things had been more difficult recently, that his focus was terrible and his distracting behaviors were worse than usual. It was pretty disheartening to hear, even though the issues in general are no surprise at this point. But as I sat there trying to understand why he can't just pay attention even when they do everything they can to remove distractions, I realized that I myself was absentmindedly clicking between Facebook and my email as I sat at my desk with plenty of work to do. I've noticed that a lot more in the past couple years, that I am very easily distracted. I know there is such a thing as adult-onset ADD, but more likely I'm just a product sleep deprivation and of the short-attention-span, bits-of-media era we're in right now. Even still, it gave me food for thought.
Watching Jacob do his school work also reminds me a little of me. I always did very well in school, but I didn't really love school (at least not past a certain point) and as I got older I had a hard time deciding what I wanted to do with my life. Even though I was good at math, I didn't really like it. Same with science. I finally fell in love with languages in high school, but once that got to a point where it wasn't fun anymore, I was back to square one. I ended up defaulting to the one thing that truly interested me, which was sports. Fortunately that worked out for me. Jacob is really good at math, and it amazes me to watch him do it. But I know he's not really into it. He'd rather play sports, or with Legos or Playmobil, or draw. He loves to draw and does the most creative stuff. I see in him that he will give up on something when it gets hard, and move on to something else. Sounds familiar. I also see that when he's really into something, he will pursue that passion wholeheartedly. Again, sounds familiar. He's obviously got some additional challenges facing him as he gets older and has to start focusing on a career, but at this point I'd really like him to get through Kindergarten first. There are moments I worry that they'll want to keep him back because he's so unfocused and disruptive, but he's so smart that I think they know that's not an option.
On a side note, we finally got to make a couple appointments with the behavioral specialist today. All of the paperwork is in, so we make one appointment for the end of the month--two hours for all of us--and then another in May for just Craig and me. I'm looking forward to working with people who specialize in this sort of stuff, and I'm hoping we can get some insight into how to help him embrace his strengths and work around the weaknesses. I truly think he's a unique case, between his inconsistencies, attention issues, high intelligence, and slightly awkward but normal enough social interactions.
Anyway, as much as we know that a lot of Jacob's quirks follow right in line with Craig as a kid, it's apparent that the apple didn't fall too far on my side of the tree either. Having kids can really make you stop and think about yourself as you see bits and pieces of yourself show up in your kids, for better or for worse. You may not even see it at first, but when you put yourself in your child's shoes and think back to that same era in your own life, certain things come back to you...and can haunt you, too. It's an experience, for sure, and it's one of the things that makes having biological children so fascinating. The good news, I guess, is that if we survived ourselves, hopefully we have the experience to help him do the same.
Whenever one of the boys has come up against some sort of challenge, be it the food sensitivities or Jacob's respiratory issues early on or his behavioral issues now, as a parent it's hard not to wonder why. What caused it?
Is it genetic? From whose side?
Is it something I did while I was pregnant? Did I eat too much of something or not enough of something else? Did I spend too much time near electronic devices or did the jostle during my car accidents actually do something? Was it too much stress, too much movement, or not enough vitamins?
Was it just a random freak-of-nature thing? An unlucky mutation?
Did we make parenting mistakes? Did we start early enough teaching proper behaviors? Or did we start too early? Should we have spanked? Have we yelled too much? Was there a better way to do this? Should we have pushed for screening earlier when some of his behavior problems first started?
I think in most cases there just isn't a good answer. If it is something we did, there's probably something else we could have done that would have created a different but equally challenging situation. But in most cases it just is what it is. Most likely it's just how the genes fell in, with possibly a little assistance from each side and a bit of bad luck thrown in. And, of course, for every bad gene/bad luck scenario, there are so many others that turned out fine...so there's that. Ultimately I know that there's no reason to play the blame game (unless we were having a third and wanted to do things differently), because this is the hand we were dealt and we just have to deal with it, no matter how we got here.
Still, when I watch Jacob, in particular, there are moments where I see myself...and it isn't pretty. I'll sit there thinking, "Why on earth is he doing that?" and then I'll think back to my own childhood or even look at myself now and go, "Oh. Yeah. That's why."
For example, since his issues have gotten worse, he's had a terrible habit of sucking/chewing on his clothes. He's done it to his winter coat for a couple years now, but his shirt is more of a recent thing. Some days the neckband on his shirt is totally stretched out and water-stained. It's gross. As I was thinking to myself one day about why he does that, I remembered that when I was a kid I used to crew quite a bit on the drawstrings for my hood on at least one coat, and I also recall doing some damage to the vinyl seat trim in one of our cars. Random, I know. I have less of a memory of what age that was at, and no recollection about why I was doing it, but once I remembered those things, I guess I could relate a little more...even if it still drives me nuts that he does it.
I was on the phone with his teacher the other day because he'd come home saying that he got "red" on Friday (the lowest color on the behavior chart), which is usually accompanied by a note or call home. We got neither, and he couldn't tell us why he'd ended up on red, so I emailed her Friday night to see what was up. Incidentally, I don't think he was trying to be evasive when we asked. I honestly think he just doesn't understand the consequences, or at least the direct correlation between the two. He knows he's not supposed to be doing something, and I think that when he stops doing it once when he's asked, he thinks he did what he was supposed to. But what I think he doesn't realize is that he does things over and over again, and each time he's expected to comply. When he didn't consistently do what he was supposed to, he moved down. I know we can't expect the teacher to constantly re-explain things to him, but it's hard when he doesn't seem to have the full picture in his head. Sometimes he complains that he doesn't get a second chance before he gets moved down, but in reality his teacher definitely doesn't hold him to the same standard as the other kids. She knows he's operating on a different set of parameters and tries to keep that in mind. Some days he's done fantastically, and other days, not so much. But what I think he doesn't realize is that she is giving him chances but that he's ignoring them--either he doesn't realize she's telling him something, or he blocks it out, or doesn't realize that not listening will involve a consequence. By the time he understands, he's on his last chance and down he goes. Of course, I'm not there to confirm this, but based on everything we've heard, that's what I'm gathering might be happening.
Anyway...she was going over how things had been more difficult recently, that his focus was terrible and his distracting behaviors were worse than usual. It was pretty disheartening to hear, even though the issues in general are no surprise at this point. But as I sat there trying to understand why he can't just pay attention even when they do everything they can to remove distractions, I realized that I myself was absentmindedly clicking between Facebook and my email as I sat at my desk with plenty of work to do. I've noticed that a lot more in the past couple years, that I am very easily distracted. I know there is such a thing as adult-onset ADD, but more likely I'm just a product sleep deprivation and of the short-attention-span, bits-of-media era we're in right now. Even still, it gave me food for thought.
Watching Jacob do his school work also reminds me a little of me. I always did very well in school, but I didn't really love school (at least not past a certain point) and as I got older I had a hard time deciding what I wanted to do with my life. Even though I was good at math, I didn't really like it. Same with science. I finally fell in love with languages in high school, but once that got to a point where it wasn't fun anymore, I was back to square one. I ended up defaulting to the one thing that truly interested me, which was sports. Fortunately that worked out for me. Jacob is really good at math, and it amazes me to watch him do it. But I know he's not really into it. He'd rather play sports, or with Legos or Playmobil, or draw. He loves to draw and does the most creative stuff. I see in him that he will give up on something when it gets hard, and move on to something else. Sounds familiar. I also see that when he's really into something, he will pursue that passion wholeheartedly. Again, sounds familiar. He's obviously got some additional challenges facing him as he gets older and has to start focusing on a career, but at this point I'd really like him to get through Kindergarten first. There are moments I worry that they'll want to keep him back because he's so unfocused and disruptive, but he's so smart that I think they know that's not an option.
On a side note, we finally got to make a couple appointments with the behavioral specialist today. All of the paperwork is in, so we make one appointment for the end of the month--two hours for all of us--and then another in May for just Craig and me. I'm looking forward to working with people who specialize in this sort of stuff, and I'm hoping we can get some insight into how to help him embrace his strengths and work around the weaknesses. I truly think he's a unique case, between his inconsistencies, attention issues, high intelligence, and slightly awkward but normal enough social interactions.
Anyway, as much as we know that a lot of Jacob's quirks follow right in line with Craig as a kid, it's apparent that the apple didn't fall too far on my side of the tree either. Having kids can really make you stop and think about yourself as you see bits and pieces of yourself show up in your kids, for better or for worse. You may not even see it at first, but when you put yourself in your child's shoes and think back to that same era in your own life, certain things come back to you...and can haunt you, too. It's an experience, for sure, and it's one of the things that makes having biological children so fascinating. The good news, I guess, is that if we survived ourselves, hopefully we have the experience to help him do the same.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Catching Up
Just wanted to catch up on some pictures and videos, since I haven't done that in a while. I'm working on a couple other posts that I just haven't had the brainpower to really get into yet, so here's the easy and probably more enjoyable cop-out...
Carter is talking up a storm these days...in his own language, of course. We do think he might be just starting to talk for real. "Ball" and "more" seem to be the words right now, but it's hard to tell. He says "Mama" and "Dada" too, but it's hard to tell if he's ever referring to us or just babbling. Sometimes it seems like he says "Mama" when he's distressed, so I'd like to think he's calling me! But he seemed to sign and say "more" the other day because he loves his yogurt melts and wanted more! "Ball" seems to pop up a bit, too. A couple times he's said "ball" (well, "ba") in the presence of a ball, but that's not too tough around here! He's been talking a lot, though, with really interesting intonation, so I have to think real words aren't too far off.
He's sort of cooled off on the standing and "walking" since he was sick, which is a bit of a bummer. For a while I thought he'd beat Jacob by a long shot, but now I'm not so sure because he doesn't have much interest in standing or walking. I keep hoping that since his two best buddies at daycare are walking (including an 11-month-old girl), he'll get the idea, but nothing yet. Besides that he seems mostly recovered from his virus, though he does have a cold with a nasty cough right now. Poor kid. He's also had some trouble falling asleep (and staying asleep) this week, but I can't tell if it's just a phase where he's wide awake, or if he's not feeling well, or what. It's unlike him, for sure, since he's always gone down without a fight. Tonight was better, but we'll see.
Jacob keeps us hopping, as usual. I sat on the phone with his teacher yesterday, hearing about why he got the lowest color on their chart on Friday and hearing about how he's been worse than usual lately with distracting behaviors like playing with his shoes and chewing on his shirt. He's been a challenge at home, too, so it doesn't surprise me, but he has gotten some good colors at school, too, and was named "bucket filler" (something we've been waiting all year for!), so I was hoping maybe he was settling in a bit. No such luck. But he does amaze us with his mind and creativity, and he's been loving playing outside now that the weather is a bit better. I'll have more on him in my next post.
Now here are a few pictures of the smilier of the two boys. Despite all the illnesses lately, he'll still give me a few smiles...
And now, let's jump in the wayback machine. I have lots of videos that I just got uploaded, going all the way back to January. Here goes...
Here is video of Carter loving the Christmas tree (see, way back!). He loved when I turned it on, and he loved checking out the ornaments...hence why I had that one at the bottom of the tree!
Like Jacob, Carter has taken a liking to sports equipment. He really likes his plastic golf clubs and mini hockey sticks. Here he is, learning how a stick and a ball can interact...
The week before Carter's birthday I pulled out some of Jacob's old toys, including the ball popper. Carter loved it immediately, and Jacob decided to enjoy it again, as well. He ended up using it like an air-propelled baseball tee and was teaching Carter how to play. It was one of the first times he actually interacted directly with Carter, even though he almost took his head off a couple times. Carter loved it, though!
Finally, here are two videos from Carter's birthday. The first is when he was first confronted with his cake. He took a while to figure out what to do with it, even though he nearly grabbed it once a few minutes earlier when I accidentally got too close!
Once he got his first taste, he decided it was a pretty tasty treat, and a little while later he was covered head to toe with frosting.
I apologize that there hasn't been much of this stuff on here of late. With all of the sickness around here lately it hasn't been particularly photogenic. I've been so busy with work and so tired at night that it's hard to get a good post out. But I want to make sure I'm documenting things, so hang in there...I'll get to it eventually! (Though if you knew how many other things in my life had that designation, and you knew how long they've had that designation...you might be worried!)
More soon...
Carter is talking up a storm these days...in his own language, of course. We do think he might be just starting to talk for real. "Ball" and "more" seem to be the words right now, but it's hard to tell. He says "Mama" and "Dada" too, but it's hard to tell if he's ever referring to us or just babbling. Sometimes it seems like he says "Mama" when he's distressed, so I'd like to think he's calling me! But he seemed to sign and say "more" the other day because he loves his yogurt melts and wanted more! "Ball" seems to pop up a bit, too. A couple times he's said "ball" (well, "ba") in the presence of a ball, but that's not too tough around here! He's been talking a lot, though, with really interesting intonation, so I have to think real words aren't too far off.
He's sort of cooled off on the standing and "walking" since he was sick, which is a bit of a bummer. For a while I thought he'd beat Jacob by a long shot, but now I'm not so sure because he doesn't have much interest in standing or walking. I keep hoping that since his two best buddies at daycare are walking (including an 11-month-old girl), he'll get the idea, but nothing yet. Besides that he seems mostly recovered from his virus, though he does have a cold with a nasty cough right now. Poor kid. He's also had some trouble falling asleep (and staying asleep) this week, but I can't tell if it's just a phase where he's wide awake, or if he's not feeling well, or what. It's unlike him, for sure, since he's always gone down without a fight. Tonight was better, but we'll see.
Jacob keeps us hopping, as usual. I sat on the phone with his teacher yesterday, hearing about why he got the lowest color on their chart on Friday and hearing about how he's been worse than usual lately with distracting behaviors like playing with his shoes and chewing on his shirt. He's been a challenge at home, too, so it doesn't surprise me, but he has gotten some good colors at school, too, and was named "bucket filler" (something we've been waiting all year for!), so I was hoping maybe he was settling in a bit. No such luck. But he does amaze us with his mind and creativity, and he's been loving playing outside now that the weather is a bit better. I'll have more on him in my next post.
Now here are a few pictures of the smilier of the two boys. Despite all the illnesses lately, he'll still give me a few smiles...
And now, let's jump in the wayback machine. I have lots of videos that I just got uploaded, going all the way back to January. Here goes...
Here is video of Carter loving the Christmas tree (see, way back!). He loved when I turned it on, and he loved checking out the ornaments...hence why I had that one at the bottom of the tree!
Like Jacob, Carter has taken a liking to sports equipment. He really likes his plastic golf clubs and mini hockey sticks. Here he is, learning how a stick and a ball can interact...
The week before Carter's birthday I pulled out some of Jacob's old toys, including the ball popper. Carter loved it immediately, and Jacob decided to enjoy it again, as well. He ended up using it like an air-propelled baseball tee and was teaching Carter how to play. It was one of the first times he actually interacted directly with Carter, even though he almost took his head off a couple times. Carter loved it, though!
Finally, here are two videos from Carter's birthday. The first is when he was first confronted with his cake. He took a while to figure out what to do with it, even though he nearly grabbed it once a few minutes earlier when I accidentally got too close!
Once he got his first taste, he decided it was a pretty tasty treat, and a little while later he was covered head to toe with frosting.
I apologize that there hasn't been much of this stuff on here of late. With all of the sickness around here lately it hasn't been particularly photogenic. I've been so busy with work and so tired at night that it's hard to get a good post out. But I want to make sure I'm documenting things, so hang in there...I'll get to it eventually! (Though if you knew how many other things in my life had that designation, and you knew how long they've had that designation...you might be worried!)
More soon...
Friday, March 28, 2014
News & Notes, After the Deer Edition
- So, animal control came to pick up the fawns. I tried very hard to get a taxidermist, but apparently random dead animals aren't really an option for them because of all of the red tape. They need permits for the animals they stuff, and those usually come during hunting season or from the farms where the animals lived. There's not really a setup for a case like ours, especially out of season, mostly because they need to prevent people from saying they "found" a dead animal, when in reality they somehow actively killed it. I understand it, but I do wish there was another way. They were so beautiful. Of course, I knew it was bound to happen, but an animal got to one of them overnight and did some pretty nasty damage to the face. Overall the situation is just sad. I'm relieved someone finally came to get them, though, because I just couldn't stuff them in a bag...for multiple reasons. Nature really stinks sometimes. Had it been a day like today, they might have had a shot.
- Carter is doing a little better...I think. In general he's much happier. He's sleeping well, he's willing to play, and he's eating like a champ. He's still rather clingy, though, and very impatient. If you take too long to do anything for him, he screams like a banshee. I don't know if that's just a developmental phase that happened to coincide with all of this other sickness, but man...it's hard to do anything when he's around. Cooking dinner is nearly impossible. Of course, part of the reason it's impossible is because he seems to have an insatiable appetite right now, so he screams while I'm getting his food ready. I don't know if he's making up for lost time, having a growth spurt, or if (God forbid) the virus triggered something, but he seems like he could eat 24/7 right now. I'm pretty sure he could out-eat Jacob. Yesterday he had a pancake for breakfast because he woke up early and I needed to keep him occupied while I packed lunches. He had his bottle at daycare, two meatballs and (I think) a side they provided for lunch, another bottle, a couple cereal snacks during the day (Kix and Cheerios), and still put up a fuss when he saw someone else get a bottle mid-afternoon. So they gave him a bottle then and supplemented with their own milk later when he was actually due for a bottle. Then at dinner he had some milk, chicken, a stick of string cheese, corn, yogurt melts (his favorite), and some grapes. And then another bottle at bed. I know I need to get him off the bottle thing soon, but they bring him such joy and comfort right now that I just don't feel like I should wean him. He's getting better with the sippy cup, so that's less of a worry, and if he keeps eating like this his weight won't be either, but I love seeing him happily downing his bottle, especially when he has so many fussy moments.
The food thing is a bigger challenge than usual because I'm not quite sure what to feed him given our current diet. He can't eat most of what we have in the house because of the rice intolerance and all of the rice-based gluten-free foods we have. Most of our dinners involve some sort of rice product, so he can't eat most of our dinners. It's more important right now to eat gluten-free with Jacob, as he has a hard time being excluded. Carter also eats smaller amounts and simpler foods in general so it only makes sense to have his meal be the specially prepared one. But because of those small amounts it's hard to figure out enough single-serve items to keep him satisfied. I've asked daycare to start checking their lunch foods for rice, because I'm more than happy to have him try new foods there. Today was soy nut butter and jelly sandwiches, so we'll see how that goes! Just because we haven't eaten it at home doesn't mean he can't try it there. They're sensitive to what's appropriate for this age, so I'm willing to give it a shot, especially given how hungry he is!
If this appetite thing keeps up, I may mention it to the doctor. All of his blood work came back normal, albeit with earmarks of a virus. The Celiac test did officially come back negative, by the way, though it's not a forever determination. Things could change down the road, but for right now, that is not what is causing him issues. Whew. He's still inexplicably fussy at times, but at least it's manageable.
- Jacob has been, well, challenging. I really do think this stuff is cyclical. I don't know why, but he'll have a week or two when he's downright pleasant, then a couple or three weeks where he's impossible. To be clear, it's not what it was in the late summer/fall. He still hits, but mostly it's almost like a reflex or something he thinks is sort of funny, rather than him being purposely violent. He's very particular about things, and still very hard to transition. The battles are still lengthy and difficult, but it is rare for them to get out-of-control. He's just generally mischievous and likes annoying people. But he has times where he can be totally cool, too.
I talked to the school psychologist the other day, and it seems like he's doing a little better at school with things like getting his stuff ready in the morning. He still needs some prompting, but he's managing. He's had a few really good days where he's been on purple, the top color on the behavior chart in his classroom. He got to do this "bucket fillers" thing for the first time today, and it really makes me happy to know he's finally settling in a little better. But today he also ended up getting the worst color on the behavior chart, and since we didn't get the usual call home, we're not sure what happened. He couldn't tell us, and while normally I'd think he was just protecting himself, it seemed to me that he legitimately didn't understand why. I can't help but wonder if he's in his own little world when he does something wrong and just doesn't understand exactly what the problem was.
We got some of his paperwork back from the school, and while our responses to the Asperger's-focused questionnaire put him borderline, his teacher's responses put him closer to probable. The thing is, though, that it's not consistent. It's different at school than at home, and at home he can range from totally normal to completely bizarre. Maybe that's how high-functioning Asperger's works, but I still can't help but wonder if there are multiple other things at play that combine to look like Asperger's but aren't, which would explain that he can have periods of almost entirely normal behavior. Sometimes I wonder if he's just sort of shell-shocked from Carter's entrance into our lives. It was a major change, and maybe he just can't quite process what happened. At this point almost nothing would surprise me, but I still feel like he's been far too social his whole life (even if he's a bit awkward at times) to really fit in the spectrum mold quite right. No one even considered this stuff as a possibility until six months ago, aside from my overactive mom mind a few years back. It just an odd situation, that's for sure.
Hoping for a fun and relaxing weekend...starting now :)
- Carter is doing a little better...I think. In general he's much happier. He's sleeping well, he's willing to play, and he's eating like a champ. He's still rather clingy, though, and very impatient. If you take too long to do anything for him, he screams like a banshee. I don't know if that's just a developmental phase that happened to coincide with all of this other sickness, but man...it's hard to do anything when he's around. Cooking dinner is nearly impossible. Of course, part of the reason it's impossible is because he seems to have an insatiable appetite right now, so he screams while I'm getting his food ready. I don't know if he's making up for lost time, having a growth spurt, or if (God forbid) the virus triggered something, but he seems like he could eat 24/7 right now. I'm pretty sure he could out-eat Jacob. Yesterday he had a pancake for breakfast because he woke up early and I needed to keep him occupied while I packed lunches. He had his bottle at daycare, two meatballs and (I think) a side they provided for lunch, another bottle, a couple cereal snacks during the day (Kix and Cheerios), and still put up a fuss when he saw someone else get a bottle mid-afternoon. So they gave him a bottle then and supplemented with their own milk later when he was actually due for a bottle. Then at dinner he had some milk, chicken, a stick of string cheese, corn, yogurt melts (his favorite), and some grapes. And then another bottle at bed. I know I need to get him off the bottle thing soon, but they bring him such joy and comfort right now that I just don't feel like I should wean him. He's getting better with the sippy cup, so that's less of a worry, and if he keeps eating like this his weight won't be either, but I love seeing him happily downing his bottle, especially when he has so many fussy moments.
The food thing is a bigger challenge than usual because I'm not quite sure what to feed him given our current diet. He can't eat most of what we have in the house because of the rice intolerance and all of the rice-based gluten-free foods we have. Most of our dinners involve some sort of rice product, so he can't eat most of our dinners. It's more important right now to eat gluten-free with Jacob, as he has a hard time being excluded. Carter also eats smaller amounts and simpler foods in general so it only makes sense to have his meal be the specially prepared one. But because of those small amounts it's hard to figure out enough single-serve items to keep him satisfied. I've asked daycare to start checking their lunch foods for rice, because I'm more than happy to have him try new foods there. Today was soy nut butter and jelly sandwiches, so we'll see how that goes! Just because we haven't eaten it at home doesn't mean he can't try it there. They're sensitive to what's appropriate for this age, so I'm willing to give it a shot, especially given how hungry he is!
If this appetite thing keeps up, I may mention it to the doctor. All of his blood work came back normal, albeit with earmarks of a virus. The Celiac test did officially come back negative, by the way, though it's not a forever determination. Things could change down the road, but for right now, that is not what is causing him issues. Whew. He's still inexplicably fussy at times, but at least it's manageable.
- Jacob has been, well, challenging. I really do think this stuff is cyclical. I don't know why, but he'll have a week or two when he's downright pleasant, then a couple or three weeks where he's impossible. To be clear, it's not what it was in the late summer/fall. He still hits, but mostly it's almost like a reflex or something he thinks is sort of funny, rather than him being purposely violent. He's very particular about things, and still very hard to transition. The battles are still lengthy and difficult, but it is rare for them to get out-of-control. He's just generally mischievous and likes annoying people. But he has times where he can be totally cool, too.
I talked to the school psychologist the other day, and it seems like he's doing a little better at school with things like getting his stuff ready in the morning. He still needs some prompting, but he's managing. He's had a few really good days where he's been on purple, the top color on the behavior chart in his classroom. He got to do this "bucket fillers" thing for the first time today, and it really makes me happy to know he's finally settling in a little better. But today he also ended up getting the worst color on the behavior chart, and since we didn't get the usual call home, we're not sure what happened. He couldn't tell us, and while normally I'd think he was just protecting himself, it seemed to me that he legitimately didn't understand why. I can't help but wonder if he's in his own little world when he does something wrong and just doesn't understand exactly what the problem was.
We got some of his paperwork back from the school, and while our responses to the Asperger's-focused questionnaire put him borderline, his teacher's responses put him closer to probable. The thing is, though, that it's not consistent. It's different at school than at home, and at home he can range from totally normal to completely bizarre. Maybe that's how high-functioning Asperger's works, but I still can't help but wonder if there are multiple other things at play that combine to look like Asperger's but aren't, which would explain that he can have periods of almost entirely normal behavior. Sometimes I wonder if he's just sort of shell-shocked from Carter's entrance into our lives. It was a major change, and maybe he just can't quite process what happened. At this point almost nothing would surprise me, but I still feel like he's been far too social his whole life (even if he's a bit awkward at times) to really fit in the spectrum mold quite right. No one even considered this stuff as a possibility until six months ago, aside from my overactive mom mind a few years back. It just an odd situation, that's for sure.
Hoping for a fun and relaxing weekend...starting now :)
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Four Years, Three Deer
I realized earlier tonight that today's date was significant because it's the fourth anniversary of our move into our current house. It's hard to believe that by the time Thanksgiving hits, we'll have been in this house as long as we were in our other house. That's still a while away, but I'd say these four years have gone much faster nonetheless! That move was so crazy and so stressful (Craig had to work on moving day, remember?), but it was all with the purpose of getting a bigger, better house for our future family of four. And now, four years later, here we are all settled in. Well, we were here three years later, too, but now Carter is much more lively and it really makes it feel a lot more real, you know? But oh, what a time that was.
In other news, we had quite the exciting day yesterday. As I was getting ready for work, I looked outside because I noticed that my weather app said it was snowing. As I looked around the backyard, I noticed a deer sitting by our swing set. It's pretty rare to see a deer back there at all, even though we live a street away from a golf course. I did see three come out from the side of the house last week, but it'd been months since I'd seen one before that. As I looked further, I noticed something moving in front of her. I realized it was a fawn...a very small fawn. And in the time it took me to move to a different window to get a better look, the deer was standing up and another fawn just fell out of her! So....yes. A deer decided to have twin fawns in the middle of our backyard. It was cold and snowing out, and this seemed early in the year for fawns. I didn't realize how early until I looked it up later, but I figured this might not have been quite a planned delivery.
I watched them all for a bit. One fawn was trying to stand up, but the other one only lifted its head.
The fawn never quite got up. It toppled over and then sat down to rest for a while. In the meantime, the mom was tending to the other fawn, mostly just lots of licking. By the time we were ready to leave for the day, she was still licking that fawn...only I noticed that that fawn didn't seem to be moving much. The other one was still awake and moving around, but I was concerned that neither of them would make it through the day because it was so cold. That concern intensified when suddenly the mom got up and left. I found out later that it's normal for that to happen, but I think most of the time the babies are a little more protected and it's warmer. Did I mention that normally fawns are born in late May? Yeah, this deer was at best a month early, and probably closer to two. Not good.
During the day I thought about the deer constantly, and ended up calling the DEC to see what their thoughts were. They were surprised to hear about the birth and requested pictures. They didn't have much advice if they were dead other than to move them to a place where they could decompose naturally or double bag them and throw them out. I didn't like either of those options, but I didn't know for sure what we'd be facing until I got home.
Sure enough, once I got home I discovered the sad truth. Both fawns had passed away. I got a closer look to take pictures for the DEC, and I had mixed emotions looking at them. On one hand they were dead animals on my property. On the other they were the most beautiful, perfect creatures and it was so sad to see them there, knowing how alive they were in the morning and seeing them like that afterward. I'd post a picture here but it's a little depressing despite the beauty. The DEC has sent my pictures off to other deer biologists in the state for them to marvel at the craziness of deer born two months early.
Ever since I've been trying to figure out what to do about them. I called a couple taxidermists and one was interested, but I haven't heard back. I may try another one tomorrow. I'm worried about them starting to decompose or other animals getting to them, but I don't really want to have to scoop them up either. It's not like a squirrel or mouse. These things are big and they have long, gangly legs. I'd really hate for their beauty to go to waste, so I really wish someone could take them.
And in case you're wondering, Jacob got to see them when they were alive, and he did find out they had died. He was sort of obsessed with it for a while, in fact. We didn't let him see them, though. We did find out he had some interesting ideas about death and what happens after. He actually said something about wanting to go into the backyard to watch them go to heaven. That was a new one. Guess we have some work to do on that.
So...we'll see how this ends up. Everyone on Facebook has been remarking how sad it is, and it is...though it's nature, I guess. But why did it have to happen in our backyard?
Hopefully I'll have another update on other things soon. We're still working through some stuff with Carter's illness, and hopefully getting closer to getting Jacob in with the behavioral specialist. More soon...
In other news, we had quite the exciting day yesterday. As I was getting ready for work, I looked outside because I noticed that my weather app said it was snowing. As I looked around the backyard, I noticed a deer sitting by our swing set. It's pretty rare to see a deer back there at all, even though we live a street away from a golf course. I did see three come out from the side of the house last week, but it'd been months since I'd seen one before that. As I looked further, I noticed something moving in front of her. I realized it was a fawn...a very small fawn. And in the time it took me to move to a different window to get a better look, the deer was standing up and another fawn just fell out of her! So....yes. A deer decided to have twin fawns in the middle of our backyard. It was cold and snowing out, and this seemed early in the year for fawns. I didn't realize how early until I looked it up later, but I figured this might not have been quite a planned delivery.
I watched them all for a bit. One fawn was trying to stand up, but the other one only lifted its head.
 |
| The fawn is in front trying to stand up |
During the day I thought about the deer constantly, and ended up calling the DEC to see what their thoughts were. They were surprised to hear about the birth and requested pictures. They didn't have much advice if they were dead other than to move them to a place where they could decompose naturally or double bag them and throw them out. I didn't like either of those options, but I didn't know for sure what we'd be facing until I got home.
Sure enough, once I got home I discovered the sad truth. Both fawns had passed away. I got a closer look to take pictures for the DEC, and I had mixed emotions looking at them. On one hand they were dead animals on my property. On the other they were the most beautiful, perfect creatures and it was so sad to see them there, knowing how alive they were in the morning and seeing them like that afterward. I'd post a picture here but it's a little depressing despite the beauty. The DEC has sent my pictures off to other deer biologists in the state for them to marvel at the craziness of deer born two months early.
Ever since I've been trying to figure out what to do about them. I called a couple taxidermists and one was interested, but I haven't heard back. I may try another one tomorrow. I'm worried about them starting to decompose or other animals getting to them, but I don't really want to have to scoop them up either. It's not like a squirrel or mouse. These things are big and they have long, gangly legs. I'd really hate for their beauty to go to waste, so I really wish someone could take them.
And in case you're wondering, Jacob got to see them when they were alive, and he did find out they had died. He was sort of obsessed with it for a while, in fact. We didn't let him see them, though. We did find out he had some interesting ideas about death and what happens after. He actually said something about wanting to go into the backyard to watch them go to heaven. That was a new one. Guess we have some work to do on that.
So...we'll see how this ends up. Everyone on Facebook has been remarking how sad it is, and it is...though it's nature, I guess. But why did it have to happen in our backyard?
Hopefully I'll have another update on other things soon. We're still working through some stuff with Carter's illness, and hopefully getting closer to getting Jacob in with the behavioral specialist. More soon...
Monday, March 24, 2014
Looking Back and Marching Forward
For some reason this morning I felt compelled to take a look back in the blog at what was going on a year ago. I don't know why, specifically, that popped into my head, but perhaps I was trying to subconsciously remind myself that every phase has a challenge, and things just keep moving along and eventually resolve themselves one way or another.
Anyway, when I looked, I discovered that a year ago today was the day I came to terms with stopping breastfeeding and starting Carter on formula. It was such a brutal decision. I had spent the previous two days in tears and by Sunday, when I wrote the year-ago-today blog post, I had decided that my sanity and the ability to feed me family stress-free was just as important as what I was feeding Carter. Ironically, six months later we'd be having a different kind of major dietary change around here, but to this day I'd still rather do the gluten-free thing than dairy-free. Perhaps there's just more gluten-free options, perhaps gluten-free information is more readily available, or perhaps the replacements are much closer to the real thing than fake dairy. I'm sure the hormones and stress of having a new baby didn't help. It was a very difficult decision.
The weaning process went as smoothly as I could have hoped given the accelerated schedule, and a year later we're now officially done with formula. We finally wrapped it up over the weekend after lots of false starts and stops in the past few weeks with the stomach bug and whatever else. I won't miss spending that money, that's for sure. We still have to figure out how to ease him off his milk, which he loves, and introduce more food, but given our rice-heavy menu it's a little challenging at the moment to find single-serve options that work for him. Interestingly, last Friday before I picked up Carter, a couple teachers who have watched him but aren't his main teachers gave him some Multigrain Cheerios. They didn't realize he couldn't eat them because they have rice in them. He came out unscathed, which gives me hope that he might be outgrowing the intolerance already. I'm not ready to test him because I'm guessing we'll have another "oops" along the way (every once in a while something comes up that you'd never think has rice), but it's promising.
As far as Carter today, he seems to be getting a tiny bit better. He's still very impatient and clingy, but in between he seems to be having happier moments. He actually smiled at people at Wegmans today, which hasn't happened in a while. He laughs more and smiles more, but is still not entirely into playing or being out of my arms in general. It's hard to say if he's just improving slowly, or if he's having bad days and good days. I feel bad for him because I don't know what's bothering him. His doctor called today and said that the bloodwork was consistent with a virus, but it was hard to say if it was still present or if it was still working its way out of his system. The Celiac results weren't back yet. On Saturday another doctor said that one part was in and negative, but today our doctor seemed a little more non-committal. She said she wanted to wait a couple more days until those results are in before we make any more decisions about next steps if Carter still isn't feeling well by then. If the Celiac test is indeed negative, the next steps would involve looking into his belly, but I don't know much beyond that. Hopefully he continues to visibly improve and we can just assume he's simply having a tough time recovering from what he had. I just miss my laid-back, sweet, happy baby.
Looking back on the dairy-free experience a year later, it definitely reminds me that every phase has its own difficulties. Problems come and go, but it's pretty rare to be problem-free at any point. So, we'll just take this issue day-by-day and hope that this problem goes away as quickly as it came.
Anyway, when I looked, I discovered that a year ago today was the day I came to terms with stopping breastfeeding and starting Carter on formula. It was such a brutal decision. I had spent the previous two days in tears and by Sunday, when I wrote the year-ago-today blog post, I had decided that my sanity and the ability to feed me family stress-free was just as important as what I was feeding Carter. Ironically, six months later we'd be having a different kind of major dietary change around here, but to this day I'd still rather do the gluten-free thing than dairy-free. Perhaps there's just more gluten-free options, perhaps gluten-free information is more readily available, or perhaps the replacements are much closer to the real thing than fake dairy. I'm sure the hormones and stress of having a new baby didn't help. It was a very difficult decision.
The weaning process went as smoothly as I could have hoped given the accelerated schedule, and a year later we're now officially done with formula. We finally wrapped it up over the weekend after lots of false starts and stops in the past few weeks with the stomach bug and whatever else. I won't miss spending that money, that's for sure. We still have to figure out how to ease him off his milk, which he loves, and introduce more food, but given our rice-heavy menu it's a little challenging at the moment to find single-serve options that work for him. Interestingly, last Friday before I picked up Carter, a couple teachers who have watched him but aren't his main teachers gave him some Multigrain Cheerios. They didn't realize he couldn't eat them because they have rice in them. He came out unscathed, which gives me hope that he might be outgrowing the intolerance already. I'm not ready to test him because I'm guessing we'll have another "oops" along the way (every once in a while something comes up that you'd never think has rice), but it's promising.
As far as Carter today, he seems to be getting a tiny bit better. He's still very impatient and clingy, but in between he seems to be having happier moments. He actually smiled at people at Wegmans today, which hasn't happened in a while. He laughs more and smiles more, but is still not entirely into playing or being out of my arms in general. It's hard to say if he's just improving slowly, or if he's having bad days and good days. I feel bad for him because I don't know what's bothering him. His doctor called today and said that the bloodwork was consistent with a virus, but it was hard to say if it was still present or if it was still working its way out of his system. The Celiac results weren't back yet. On Saturday another doctor said that one part was in and negative, but today our doctor seemed a little more non-committal. She said she wanted to wait a couple more days until those results are in before we make any more decisions about next steps if Carter still isn't feeling well by then. If the Celiac test is indeed negative, the next steps would involve looking into his belly, but I don't know much beyond that. Hopefully he continues to visibly improve and we can just assume he's simply having a tough time recovering from what he had. I just miss my laid-back, sweet, happy baby.
Looking back on the dairy-free experience a year later, it definitely reminds me that every phase has its own difficulties. Problems come and go, but it's pretty rare to be problem-free at any point. So, we'll just take this issue day-by-day and hope that this problem goes away as quickly as it came.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Another Day, Another Try
Carter slept through the night last night, so I was hopeful this morning that he'd turned a corner and would be a happier baby today. No such luck. I got a call mid-morning that he'd been miserable, pulling at his ear and rubbing it on the high chair. He's still constantly wanting to be held, arching his back, crying out of the blue, and not being the happy, smiling baby he usually is. By the time I got that call I was practically distraught. It has started to feel like it felt dealing with Jacob six months ago, when he was at his worst and there seemed to be no end in sight. There were no easy answers and every guess at the cause seemed more outrageous (and scary) than the last.
When I got back from lunch I got a call back from the doctor's office, after calling them again and saying that after Tuesday's appointment things only got worse. Luckily our doctor was in today and they had an opening this afternoon. So I left work, picked up Carter, and headed over. I handed over another $25 co-pay (that's $100 total this week after his routine follow-up at the pulmonary specialist--ugh), and we went in. Luckily, he gave her a pretty good idea of what we've been dealing with--a lot of whining, crying, arching, etc. She said that it was good that nothing was very obviously wrong, but it was clear that he wasn't himself. She's seen enough of his goofy grin to know! So, she sent us for blood work. Among the tests is the one that looks for a telltale Celiac disease sign. Ugh. God forbid that comes back positive, because I simply don't know what kind of gluten-free diet I would feed a baby who can't eat rice. It seems odd that the symptoms would come on that suddenly, but sometimes traumatic life events can trigger it (though the issue is always there, sometimes a specific event officially triggers it...like in Jacob's case, perhaps a new brother and the start of Kindergarten, perhaps?). While it doesn't seem like Carter has too much stress, keep in mind that he had a terrible stomach bug last week and then he was very upset after we left him to go to Toronto last weekend. I suppose those issues could have done it. He's generally been a bit constipated like Jacob has been in recent months, and his discomfort could be his stomach. Jacob never had telltale symptoms either besides those two issues, so I suppose it makes sense. But I still really hope that's not the case. Selfishly I'd like to have one kid that I can take to normal restaurants or allow to buy school lunch or send to birthday parties without sending along a backup cupcake and special pizza. I know it would probably be easier for Jacob if his brother has to eat the same thing he does, but you know...I thought Jacob would appreciate having a brother, too, and we know how that went. It's hard enough to think about what to feed Carter now when 75% of our dinners don't work for him, let alone when my simple stand-bys (mini-bagels, chicken nuggets, Cheerios) won't work for him either.
It could still be his teeth, but the fact that painkillers aren't doing the trick there makes it a little more unlikely. I did buy him a molar-specific teething toy tonight, so we'll see if that helps. He chewed on his toothbrush for a while the other night. But in general any sort of distraction seems to help temporarily, but after a bit it's like he remembers he's uncomfortable and he gets upset again. He does not want to be put down for any reason, but sometimes he's still arching and battling while he's being held. It is so perplexing.
The whole thing is very unnerving. I just want my healthy, happy baby back.
When I got back from lunch I got a call back from the doctor's office, after calling them again and saying that after Tuesday's appointment things only got worse. Luckily our doctor was in today and they had an opening this afternoon. So I left work, picked up Carter, and headed over. I handed over another $25 co-pay (that's $100 total this week after his routine follow-up at the pulmonary specialist--ugh), and we went in. Luckily, he gave her a pretty good idea of what we've been dealing with--a lot of whining, crying, arching, etc. She said that it was good that nothing was very obviously wrong, but it was clear that he wasn't himself. She's seen enough of his goofy grin to know! So, she sent us for blood work. Among the tests is the one that looks for a telltale Celiac disease sign. Ugh. God forbid that comes back positive, because I simply don't know what kind of gluten-free diet I would feed a baby who can't eat rice. It seems odd that the symptoms would come on that suddenly, but sometimes traumatic life events can trigger it (though the issue is always there, sometimes a specific event officially triggers it...like in Jacob's case, perhaps a new brother and the start of Kindergarten, perhaps?). While it doesn't seem like Carter has too much stress, keep in mind that he had a terrible stomach bug last week and then he was very upset after we left him to go to Toronto last weekend. I suppose those issues could have done it. He's generally been a bit constipated like Jacob has been in recent months, and his discomfort could be his stomach. Jacob never had telltale symptoms either besides those two issues, so I suppose it makes sense. But I still really hope that's not the case. Selfishly I'd like to have one kid that I can take to normal restaurants or allow to buy school lunch or send to birthday parties without sending along a backup cupcake and special pizza. I know it would probably be easier for Jacob if his brother has to eat the same thing he does, but you know...I thought Jacob would appreciate having a brother, too, and we know how that went. It's hard enough to think about what to feed Carter now when 75% of our dinners don't work for him, let alone when my simple stand-bys (mini-bagels, chicken nuggets, Cheerios) won't work for him either.
It could still be his teeth, but the fact that painkillers aren't doing the trick there makes it a little more unlikely. I did buy him a molar-specific teething toy tonight, so we'll see if that helps. He chewed on his toothbrush for a while the other night. But in general any sort of distraction seems to help temporarily, but after a bit it's like he remembers he's uncomfortable and he gets upset again. He does not want to be put down for any reason, but sometimes he's still arching and battling while he's being held. It is so perplexing.
The whole thing is very unnerving. I just want my healthy, happy baby back.
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