The holidays are coming and I can hardly believe it. Practically seems like a couple months ago that I was nervous about seeing family at Thanksgiving and not letting on that I felt like crap because I was in the middle of my first trimester. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was dragging myself through decorating for Christmas and packing for our trip to Florida feeling sooo exhausted. I remember marveling at the thought of having a 4-6 month old baby by the holidays this year, looking at our nephew Grant and thinking our baby would be right around his age by this year. And sure enough, here we are. We have an amazing five month old little boy and we've survived parenthood pretty well so far.
I remember thinking last year as I struggled through Christmas shopping and decorating that doing the Christmas thing exhausted and nauseous was one thing...but doing it in and around a baby's schedule would be something entirely different. And from what I can tell so far, I was absolutely right. Gone are the days where Craig and I could head out to the mall together at 9pm to get in an hour or two of shopping minus the crowds. This year we'll either be going early or going solo late, with one of us staying home while Jacob sleeps. Lately I've been doing my grocery shopping at 9 or 9:30, once Jacob is fed and in bed. It's just easier to do that than to work around his feedings or cart him around (he's HEAVY these days) and hope he doesn't freak out in the middle of the store. For the most part he's a good baby and doesn't even cry that loud most of the time, but it's still a helpless feeling when you're out in public and your baby is screaming. I can go out with him just fine, but a lot of times I simply choose not to. It just makes the quick in-and-out running around I used to do a lot harder. There are days I'm willing to attempt it, and some days that I'm just not.
As a result, Christmas preparations are going to need to be more organized and streamlined than ever. I'll need to get my lists together ASAP, figure out if any trips can be combined, and focus on the best uses of my time. I am still probably going to take one day of vacation in the next couple weeks (hopefully my lists are coming together by then) where I send Jacob to day care, get as much shopping done as possible, and go pick him up a little earlier than usual. I think that's going to be the best way to get things done. I tried shopping with him a little this weekend at the mall, and I just wasn't into it. I was worried about him getting hungry and I just didn't want to take the time to try things on or really look around. And manuvering a stroller through some stores is nearly impossible. Based on running around this weekend, I think weekday shopping is wise. Crowds were already terrible this weekend. Annoying when it's just you, but extra inconvenient when you need to have a stroller or cart and everyone else's carts are blocking everything! Add a crying baby into that and I'm headed to the insane asylum.
Even getting decorations out at home is going to be a challenge. I think once they're up Jacob is going to have a blast with them, but just finding the time and energy to get up all of the bins and put everything out is going to be tough. And just wait until next year when everything needs to be baby-proof...yikes! But for this year I am looking forward to his reaction to all the lights, and hopefully he'll be ready to do a little tearing of wrapping paper in another month. He may not get it yet, but he may like that sensation nonetheless.
There's so much to do and I have a lot to organize in the next month. Holy cow, it really is a month...one month from right now we'll be hanging out with Craig's family for their annual Christmas Eve get together. Wow. It's coming quick...and I better get ready!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Why do I always choose wrong?
I swear, I am so bad at reading Jacob sometimes. Or at the very least, I have bad luck. For whatever reason, when Craig brings Jacob home, they always manage to have a nap together. Jacob falls asleep in the car on the way home, and somehow Craig gets him in the house, out of his seat, and on his chest without too much trouble. They nap until I get home, and Jacob is in a good mood most of the night because he's well rested. I never can get him to fall asleep. I carry him around, rock him, try to lay down with him, put him in the swing. He cries if I put him down and squirms if I hold him. I know he's tired, but he fights it like crazy. I'm convinced that part of the problem is that with me he can smell the breastmilk...he gets tired and would rather eat than sleep. I can feed him and he gets sleepy, but the moment I try to move (generally to try to lay him down), he wakes up and starts fighting all over again.
Tonight we got home from daycare and I tried rocking him a bit, walking around with him, anything to get him to take a nap before he got too cranky. I could tell he was tired, but no dice. Eventually he melted down and I had to feed him. He was sleepy afterward but sure enough, wide awake shortly thereafter. I desperately wanted to eat dinner but nothing was working to get him to sleep. Finally, after letting him cry while I ate a Hot Pocket with one hand, I rocked him a LONG time (which was so hard with my sore arms from last night's workout), and he conked out. I figured he'd sleep about a half hour or so (his norm), wake up before 9, eat and go to bed. I let him sleep on me because I hadn't done that with him in a while and I didn't want to wake him up. Well, over two hours later, he was still asleep and I was well on my way. So much for waking up and eating. I finally got up, took him into his room and changed him for bed. Of course, he never fully woke up and instead was writhing around half asleep, making it almost impossible to change him. I managed to get him in bed still half asleep and without much fuss, but now I'm wondering if he's going to wake up hungry at 3am or something crazy like that.
The point of all of this is that even with a wonderful and generally predictable baby I still have a hard time guessing what to do. The other night I had a similar situation...I can't remember the circumstances exactly, but I just know that I felt trapped by decisions. Like I misjudged timing in something and it left me in an awkward position for something else. I just feel like I never read him completely right, and it drives me nuts! This sleeping thing is at the top of the list.
My mom was talking to me last weekend about putting him in his crib to nap. I haven't done it a lot, to be honest. When I was home on maternity leave I used to try to get him to sleep in his pack 'n' play or he'd fall asleep in the boppy (supervised by me, of course). I had read somewhere that keeping the crib for night time sent the signal that it was time to sleep longer, and that seemed like a good plan. And honestly, that seemed to work well. If I were still home with him during the day I would have had to switch to the crib at some point, but obviously that only happens on weekends. On weekends there isn't a lot of opportunity to get a good schedule. Either we're out and about and he sleeps in his carseat (many times he'll be sleeping when we get home and we'll leave him there until he wakes up--he's comfortable, right?), or he'll fall asleep on one of us and we're just so happy to be with him that we'll just sit there and let him sleep. Times like tonight when he's fussy, I'm hesitant to use the crib for two reasons...first, it's dark out already and I don't want him thinking it's bedtime and falling asleep for good at 7:00, practically right after we get home. Not only does that leave him no time with us, but it would probably set him up to wake up at 5am. Second, if he's cranky and I try to put him in there, I don't want him to start having a negative association with the crib because of naptime and start giving us trouble there at bedtime. It's such a tough call sometimes.
So, yeah, weird night. I'm just hoping he sleeps ok despite a less than routine bedtime process and an early last feeding. We should have fun tomorrow, though, as long as I can read him well enough to get through the day unscathed!
Tonight we got home from daycare and I tried rocking him a bit, walking around with him, anything to get him to take a nap before he got too cranky. I could tell he was tired, but no dice. Eventually he melted down and I had to feed him. He was sleepy afterward but sure enough, wide awake shortly thereafter. I desperately wanted to eat dinner but nothing was working to get him to sleep. Finally, after letting him cry while I ate a Hot Pocket with one hand, I rocked him a LONG time (which was so hard with my sore arms from last night's workout), and he conked out. I figured he'd sleep about a half hour or so (his norm), wake up before 9, eat and go to bed. I let him sleep on me because I hadn't done that with him in a while and I didn't want to wake him up. Well, over two hours later, he was still asleep and I was well on my way. So much for waking up and eating. I finally got up, took him into his room and changed him for bed. Of course, he never fully woke up and instead was writhing around half asleep, making it almost impossible to change him. I managed to get him in bed still half asleep and without much fuss, but now I'm wondering if he's going to wake up hungry at 3am or something crazy like that.
The point of all of this is that even with a wonderful and generally predictable baby I still have a hard time guessing what to do. The other night I had a similar situation...I can't remember the circumstances exactly, but I just know that I felt trapped by decisions. Like I misjudged timing in something and it left me in an awkward position for something else. I just feel like I never read him completely right, and it drives me nuts! This sleeping thing is at the top of the list.
My mom was talking to me last weekend about putting him in his crib to nap. I haven't done it a lot, to be honest. When I was home on maternity leave I used to try to get him to sleep in his pack 'n' play or he'd fall asleep in the boppy (supervised by me, of course). I had read somewhere that keeping the crib for night time sent the signal that it was time to sleep longer, and that seemed like a good plan. And honestly, that seemed to work well. If I were still home with him during the day I would have had to switch to the crib at some point, but obviously that only happens on weekends. On weekends there isn't a lot of opportunity to get a good schedule. Either we're out and about and he sleeps in his carseat (many times he'll be sleeping when we get home and we'll leave him there until he wakes up--he's comfortable, right?), or he'll fall asleep on one of us and we're just so happy to be with him that we'll just sit there and let him sleep. Times like tonight when he's fussy, I'm hesitant to use the crib for two reasons...first, it's dark out already and I don't want him thinking it's bedtime and falling asleep for good at 7:00, practically right after we get home. Not only does that leave him no time with us, but it would probably set him up to wake up at 5am. Second, if he's cranky and I try to put him in there, I don't want him to start having a negative association with the crib because of naptime and start giving us trouble there at bedtime. It's such a tough call sometimes.
So, yeah, weird night. I'm just hoping he sleeps ok despite a less than routine bedtime process and an early last feeding. We should have fun tomorrow, though, as long as I can read him well enough to get through the day unscathed!
Forgot to mention...
Yesterday Jacob officially turned five months! Crazy! I can hardly believe it. Though it feels like he's been around forever now, it just blows my mind to think that five months and two seasons have gone by since he was born. He's getting to be such a big boy with his own little personality (a fun one for the most part, thank goodness!). We celebrated the big day by going out to the Chinese buffet. Yeah, I know...but I had worked out and we were starving by the time I got home at 7...and buffets don't make you wait for your food. Plus, I had been craving Chinese forever. I was shocked later on when I realized it has been at least six months since we were there last. We haven't been there since Jacob was born, and I don't know if we went there in the last month or so before that. Even still, we used to go there once every month or two (whenever we had a coupon) and it was amazing to think it had been that long.
While we were bundling Jacob up to go, he got into this awesome giggle fit. He had just woken up from a nap, and as I was putting on his winter hat and mittens, he just started laughing. I don't know if he was laughing at anything in particular, but anything I did was simply hilarious and he'd just bust out in giggles. Good laughs like that are still few and far between (but getting more frequent every week), so it was really fun while it lasted. I have looked forward to moments like that for months, because it's nice to know when your baby is really truly happy, particularly after those first few months of expressionless contentment. You know your baby's more or less ok because they're not crying, but beyond that you have no idea if they're feeling great or just so-so. Finally the smiles start and you get more of an idea what's going on with them, but laughs are a sure-fire way to know they're happy. And that's a good feeling.
Today is his last day with his normal late afternoon caretaker, who is leaving to be a stay-at-home mom. I'm sad she's leaving because Jacob really seems to like her a lot, and I enjoy talking with her when I go to pick him up. I have no idea if Jacob will know enough to miss her yet. If not I suppose that's good, but on the other hand it's a little sad because he won't remember that she was an important part of his world for a few months. I'm happy for her that she won't have to use the services of his soon-to-be-former employer, but it's sad to see her go. But man, she's got a great base of knowledge for a first-time mom, eh?
Should be a relatively pleasant weekend, with enough to keep us busy but nothing too crazy. Probably some shopping with Godmother Lori tomorrow and hopefully some time with Craig in and around Knighthawks training camp. Then we only have a three day week before four whole days with Jacob...woohoo! Happy Weekend :)
While we were bundling Jacob up to go, he got into this awesome giggle fit. He had just woken up from a nap, and as I was putting on his winter hat and mittens, he just started laughing. I don't know if he was laughing at anything in particular, but anything I did was simply hilarious and he'd just bust out in giggles. Good laughs like that are still few and far between (but getting more frequent every week), so it was really fun while it lasted. I have looked forward to moments like that for months, because it's nice to know when your baby is really truly happy, particularly after those first few months of expressionless contentment. You know your baby's more or less ok because they're not crying, but beyond that you have no idea if they're feeling great or just so-so. Finally the smiles start and you get more of an idea what's going on with them, but laughs are a sure-fire way to know they're happy. And that's a good feeling.
Today is his last day with his normal late afternoon caretaker, who is leaving to be a stay-at-home mom. I'm sad she's leaving because Jacob really seems to like her a lot, and I enjoy talking with her when I go to pick him up. I have no idea if Jacob will know enough to miss her yet. If not I suppose that's good, but on the other hand it's a little sad because he won't remember that she was an important part of his world for a few months. I'm happy for her that she won't have to use the services of his soon-to-be-former employer, but it's sad to see her go. But man, she's got a great base of knowledge for a first-time mom, eh?
Should be a relatively pleasant weekend, with enough to keep us busy but nothing too crazy. Probably some shopping with Godmother Lori tomorrow and hopefully some time with Craig in and around Knighthawks training camp. Then we only have a three day week before four whole days with Jacob...woohoo! Happy Weekend :)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Puppies
The other day my mom sent me a link to a camera watching a litter of puppies. Turns out there were a few others as well. For your viewing pleasure:
Golden Doodles
Havanese Harbor
Shiba Inu
White Miniature Schnauzers
Belgian Tervuren
All of them are so incredibly cute. Remember back in the spring when I compared my webcam viewing of hatching birds to my impending parenthood? Same deal here...I look at cameras like these cameras from a whole different perspective now that I'm a mom, for many reasons:
1) I can sympathize with the mama dog when she's nursing. However, she's got it much worse...she's got 6-8 puppies chasing after her, and they've got teeth! However, it doesn't appear she spends a ton of other time with them, so I suppose on that front she gets off easy. She did have to carry around all those puppies though....and I can't imagine having that many legs kicking me from the inside. (Often thought about that while watching Jon & Kate Plus 8, too.)
2) The puppies' cycles remind me of Jacob. They have their active playful periods, and then the next thing I know, they're all sleeping. It's funnier to watch en masse, when suddenly all these active puppies are down for the count, sprawled all over each other. It reminds me of Jacob and how he does much the same sometimes...wide awake to a complete "I'm tired" meltdown. Unfortunately, Jacob tends to fight it rather than immediately plopping down and sleeping.
3) They sleep in funny positions, and so does Jacob. He's now taken to sleeping with his butt in the air. No matter how we put him in his crib or how many times we go back to flip him over, he ends up on his knees with his butt in the air. Still scary to have him like that, but we can't fight it at this point other than to flip him when we can. Most of the time it seems like his face is turned to the side so he can breathe ok (once in a while I wish he'd turn it just a little more!), but I suppose the fact that he's up on his knees means less pressure on his chest when he breathes. The puppies are classic, though....on top of each other, on their backs with feet in the air...so cute. And in both cases, sleep looks oh so peaceful.
4) All the little movements remind me of Jacob. Puppies have the famous "chasing a squirrel" dream that gets their legs moving in their sleep. Jacob only moves in his sleep once in a while, but he smiles a lot...enough to make you wonder what he's dreaming about. When the puppies are awake, you can watch them explore, find a chew toy, and take in the world around them. I see Jacob do much the same--trying to figure out how all these body parts work in his own clumsy way, looking around at the world with wonder. He's slowly getting better at grasping toys, and he's discovering his toes. So cute to watch. The one thing that differs is that the puppies are a lot more mobile than Jacob...but I have this feeling when I watch them run and climb around that if Jacob could do those things, he totally would be!
I also find it funny that lately in the comic strip For Better or For Worse, they've been covering this topic a bit--the similarities between puppies and babies...from getting peed on to teething to the high energy level that both possess. I think when it comes right down to it, babies and puppies are both so sweet and innocent to the core. They're these tiny little beings, so ready to learn and grow that they expend all of their energy in one big burst and head off into a peaceful sleep....only to wake up and eagerly do it all over again. They're a blank slate, so full of potential and so excited to explore it. And lucky us that we get to watch it all happen.
Golden Doodles
Havanese Harbor
Shiba Inu
White Miniature Schnauzers
Belgian Tervuren
All of them are so incredibly cute. Remember back in the spring when I compared my webcam viewing of hatching birds to my impending parenthood? Same deal here...I look at cameras like these cameras from a whole different perspective now that I'm a mom, for many reasons:
1) I can sympathize with the mama dog when she's nursing. However, she's got it much worse...she's got 6-8 puppies chasing after her, and they've got teeth! However, it doesn't appear she spends a ton of other time with them, so I suppose on that front she gets off easy. She did have to carry around all those puppies though....and I can't imagine having that many legs kicking me from the inside. (Often thought about that while watching Jon & Kate Plus 8, too.)
2) The puppies' cycles remind me of Jacob. They have their active playful periods, and then the next thing I know, they're all sleeping. It's funnier to watch en masse, when suddenly all these active puppies are down for the count, sprawled all over each other. It reminds me of Jacob and how he does much the same sometimes...wide awake to a complete "I'm tired" meltdown. Unfortunately, Jacob tends to fight it rather than immediately plopping down and sleeping.
3) They sleep in funny positions, and so does Jacob. He's now taken to sleeping with his butt in the air. No matter how we put him in his crib or how many times we go back to flip him over, he ends up on his knees with his butt in the air. Still scary to have him like that, but we can't fight it at this point other than to flip him when we can. Most of the time it seems like his face is turned to the side so he can breathe ok (once in a while I wish he'd turn it just a little more!), but I suppose the fact that he's up on his knees means less pressure on his chest when he breathes. The puppies are classic, though....on top of each other, on their backs with feet in the air...so cute. And in both cases, sleep looks oh so peaceful.
4) All the little movements remind me of Jacob. Puppies have the famous "chasing a squirrel" dream that gets their legs moving in their sleep. Jacob only moves in his sleep once in a while, but he smiles a lot...enough to make you wonder what he's dreaming about. When the puppies are awake, you can watch them explore, find a chew toy, and take in the world around them. I see Jacob do much the same--trying to figure out how all these body parts work in his own clumsy way, looking around at the world with wonder. He's slowly getting better at grasping toys, and he's discovering his toes. So cute to watch. The one thing that differs is that the puppies are a lot more mobile than Jacob...but I have this feeling when I watch them run and climb around that if Jacob could do those things, he totally would be!
I also find it funny that lately in the comic strip For Better or For Worse, they've been covering this topic a bit--the similarities between puppies and babies...from getting peed on to teething to the high energy level that both possess. I think when it comes right down to it, babies and puppies are both so sweet and innocent to the core. They're these tiny little beings, so ready to learn and grow that they expend all of their energy in one big burst and head off into a peaceful sleep....only to wake up and eagerly do it all over again. They're a blank slate, so full of potential and so excited to explore it. And lucky us that we get to watch it all happen.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Good and Bad of Breastfeeding
Every day when I shuffle off to the bathroom at work to pump, I seem to do it begrudgingly. I know it's a good thing to do, and I should be happy to have the break from work, but there are some days that I just don't like doing it. However, I know that ultimately it is a good thing, and making it almost five months is pretty impressive. Now that I've had so much time to adjust and I'm not the sole feeder (one of the bright sides of daycare, I guess), I can have some objectivity on this issue and say that breastfeeding isn't too bad. I know why it's not for everyone, but as I've said before, I still think most people should give it a shot. There are good and bad things about it, and here's my rundown.
The Bad:
1) I miss certain things - Drinking among them, but only rarely. I miss milk, thanks to what appears to be a cow's milk protein sensitivity. I also miss peanuts (or at least peanut butter with chocolate), which I'm trying to avoid since the jury's out on whether or not peanut allergens in breast milk create an allergy.
2) Being the #1 feeder - It's hard sometimes to be stuck on the couch for a half hour or more, or worse, up in the middle of the night at least once for a half hour or more. Luckily those days are (hopefully) done. It's a privilege, but it's tiring at times.
3) Engorgement - This was obviously worse in the beginning, but there are times when I wake up in the morning and notice that "things" don't quite feel like themselves. I described it before as what I think bad implants feel like. It's a weird feeling and not very comfortable. Fortunately I don't have to deal with it too much...just when nursing or pumping isn't convenient over the course of 4 or more hours, or a bit in the morning...but that's short lived because I have a hungry baby who wakes up about an hour after I do.
4) Clothing - As I've complained about before, the larger chest means my clothes don't fit right. Someday, maybe. In the meantime, nursing bras are not my favorite thing in the world.
5) They're functional, not sexy - Nothing wrecks the moment like leakage...or so I hear. Haven't really wanted to find out so I've taken precautions.
6) Pumping's a pain - Self-explanatory
The Good:
1) It's good for Jacob - Antibodies, allergy protection, etc.
2) It's convenient, as long as I can find a semi-private place
3) It's cheap - Formula is so crazy expensive...just five bottles a week and I still cringe every time I have to buy it.
4) I can eat more - 500 more calories a day...woohoo! And my instructor at the gym told me that it burns fat from the rear end area. Nice. Maybe that's why I'm now below my pre-pregnancy weight...even if I don't look the same.
5) Bonding time with Jacob - Now that he's a little squirmier, it's one of the few times I can just get him to sit and hang out with me.
6) Jacob's funny faces - I can't help but laugh when Jacob stops eating long enough to smile at me...cracks me up.
7) Breastmilk isn't stinky - Spitup isn't too smelly when it's coming from breastmilk...formula is gross.
Ok, as much as I'd like to sit and write more, my bed is calling. Have a good night :)
The Bad:
1) I miss certain things - Drinking among them, but only rarely. I miss milk, thanks to what appears to be a cow's milk protein sensitivity. I also miss peanuts (or at least peanut butter with chocolate), which I'm trying to avoid since the jury's out on whether or not peanut allergens in breast milk create an allergy.
2) Being the #1 feeder - It's hard sometimes to be stuck on the couch for a half hour or more, or worse, up in the middle of the night at least once for a half hour or more. Luckily those days are (hopefully) done. It's a privilege, but it's tiring at times.
3) Engorgement - This was obviously worse in the beginning, but there are times when I wake up in the morning and notice that "things" don't quite feel like themselves. I described it before as what I think bad implants feel like. It's a weird feeling and not very comfortable. Fortunately I don't have to deal with it too much...just when nursing or pumping isn't convenient over the course of 4 or more hours, or a bit in the morning...but that's short lived because I have a hungry baby who wakes up about an hour after I do.
4) Clothing - As I've complained about before, the larger chest means my clothes don't fit right. Someday, maybe. In the meantime, nursing bras are not my favorite thing in the world.
5) They're functional, not sexy - Nothing wrecks the moment like leakage...or so I hear. Haven't really wanted to find out so I've taken precautions.
6) Pumping's a pain - Self-explanatory
The Good:
1) It's good for Jacob - Antibodies, allergy protection, etc.
2) It's convenient, as long as I can find a semi-private place
3) It's cheap - Formula is so crazy expensive...just five bottles a week and I still cringe every time I have to buy it.
4) I can eat more - 500 more calories a day...woohoo! And my instructor at the gym told me that it burns fat from the rear end area. Nice. Maybe that's why I'm now below my pre-pregnancy weight...even if I don't look the same.
5) Bonding time with Jacob - Now that he's a little squirmier, it's one of the few times I can just get him to sit and hang out with me.
6) Jacob's funny faces - I can't help but laugh when Jacob stops eating long enough to smile at me...cracks me up.
7) Breastmilk isn't stinky - Spitup isn't too smelly when it's coming from breastmilk...formula is gross.
Ok, as much as I'd like to sit and write more, my bed is calling. Have a good night :)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Busy, busy, busy...
I have a very good little boy. Can I just say that? While he seems to have developed a car phobia (more on that later), he was so good this weekend in the midst of a lot of running around! Friday night was tough, because once we got home I still had quite a bit of packing to do. Traveling with Jacob is a pretty high maintenance prospect. Besides extra clothes, diapers, wipes, burp cloths, etc., I had to pack his Baby Bjorn carrier, humidifier (that was for my own sanity, since he seems to sleep so much better with it and I wanted to up the odds that we'd sleep well despite being in the same room), a few toys, a bottle and some formula, and more things I'm sure I'm forgetting. Oh, and I needed our birth certificates too, for Jacob's first trip to Canada (and IKEA!). The packing process seemed to take forever, and I kept having to put Jacob down somewhere so I had full use of my hands...poor guy just wanted to play, I think. Once we got on the road (after a couple runs back into the house), the trip wasn't bad. Jacob cried a bit but fell asleep rather quickly and stayed asleep for the whole trip. He was up a little later than usual since we wanted to stay up and play with Grandma and Grandpa a bit, but he went down fairly easily and slept well other than a couple of whiny periods that resolved rather quickly.
We got up the next morning and headed out to the St. Paul church bazaar. My mom wanted to show off Jacob to everyone who has changed churches in recent months thanks to problems at my parents' (now former) church. We were there for a while and he was content just hanging out in the Bjorn and watching everyone. Now that his head and neck are strong enough to face out, he's loving the view from that thing. We found a couch where he could sit and eat (awkward though it may be, breastfeeding is pretty convenient sometimes!), and after my mom and I grabbed our own food, we headed off to IKEA. I had been wanting to go there for months. I hadn't been to one since my Pittsburgh trip last November, the weekend before I found out I was pregnant. So...it was a whole new world of baby stuff this time around. I ended up with some little stuff, like a stool that I can sit on at Jacob's bathtime, and he will one day use to reach the sink and toilet, I suppose. I got a tray to go under his leak-prone humidifier, a toy to give him at Christmas, and a cool hanging storage thing for his stuffed animals...basically a cylinder made out of netting that has holes in it for access. He survived the trip through the store until the very end when he conked out (still in the Bjorn). He was fussy on the way back and we finally stopped at a rest area so I could feed him. He was still fussy after that but finally fell asleep until we were about 10 minutes from home. That evening we headed out for a quick dinner and went to see the Canisius College women's volleyball team (coached by my cousin's wife). Jacob was once again taking it all in, and didn't seem to bothered by all of the noise. He fought sleep for a long time but finally gave in. He didn't even flinch when the winning cheer erupted around him!
He had a good night's sleep again, other than one short fussy period, and Sunday morning we were off to church. He was pretty good during church but kept whining whenever I'd try to make him stand. He normally loves that but wasn't into it at that moment, apparently. We snuck off to the bathroom to get a feeding in while Grandma and Grandpa went to their Sunday School class, and then it was off to Moe's for lunch. He was in a great mood, laughing and smiling on the way in. He stayed happy but took a rather large poo while we were eating. He smiled right after, though...he knows what he's doing, I swear. :) Once we got home I was off to the Aud Farewell event with my cousin Kim, and Jacob spent the afternoon with Grandma and Grandpa! Kim and I had a great time reminiscing about our glory days as hockey fans, and Jacob did well hanging out at home. He was extra happy after a nap and a meal, and we had a blast playing with him before Jacob and I had to pack up and go.
As a whole he was so well-behaved all weekend. It seems that when he's happy, he's really happy...lots of smiles and some good laughs. When he's content he just seems to be taking everything in...looking around, reaching out, chewing on his hands. When he's not so happy it's obvious, and in most cases he's either tired or hungry (or maybe just looking for a little attention). Hungry is an easy fix, as long as it's a convenient time or place. If he's tired it's just a matter of getting him to relax enough to fall asleep. The one thing I don't get is why he's suddenly fussy whenever we get in the car to go somewhere. My mom's theory is that his carrier cover prevents him from moving his feet, but that happens before we're ever in the car, and he mostly starts crying when we start moving. That used to be a good thing for him, but apparently not anymore. It was tough to deal with it repeatedly this weekend (particularly when I'm in the front seat--at least he had company in the back some of the time this weekend). Maybe he's just uncomfortable in another way...Lord knows bundling up isn't very fun as an adult either, let alone when you're strapped into a car seat, too. Poor thing.
Back to the real world today, though. Hopefully he had fun at day care watching the snowflakes fall outside! Now it's just the countdown to a couple days off for Thanksgiving. I can't wait!
We got up the next morning and headed out to the St. Paul church bazaar. My mom wanted to show off Jacob to everyone who has changed churches in recent months thanks to problems at my parents' (now former) church. We were there for a while and he was content just hanging out in the Bjorn and watching everyone. Now that his head and neck are strong enough to face out, he's loving the view from that thing. We found a couch where he could sit and eat (awkward though it may be, breastfeeding is pretty convenient sometimes!), and after my mom and I grabbed our own food, we headed off to IKEA. I had been wanting to go there for months. I hadn't been to one since my Pittsburgh trip last November, the weekend before I found out I was pregnant. So...it was a whole new world of baby stuff this time around. I ended up with some little stuff, like a stool that I can sit on at Jacob's bathtime, and he will one day use to reach the sink and toilet, I suppose. I got a tray to go under his leak-prone humidifier, a toy to give him at Christmas, and a cool hanging storage thing for his stuffed animals...basically a cylinder made out of netting that has holes in it for access. He survived the trip through the store until the very end when he conked out (still in the Bjorn). He was fussy on the way back and we finally stopped at a rest area so I could feed him. He was still fussy after that but finally fell asleep until we were about 10 minutes from home. That evening we headed out for a quick dinner and went to see the Canisius College women's volleyball team (coached by my cousin's wife). Jacob was once again taking it all in, and didn't seem to bothered by all of the noise. He fought sleep for a long time but finally gave in. He didn't even flinch when the winning cheer erupted around him!
He had a good night's sleep again, other than one short fussy period, and Sunday morning we were off to church. He was pretty good during church but kept whining whenever I'd try to make him stand. He normally loves that but wasn't into it at that moment, apparently. We snuck off to the bathroom to get a feeding in while Grandma and Grandpa went to their Sunday School class, and then it was off to Moe's for lunch. He was in a great mood, laughing and smiling on the way in. He stayed happy but took a rather large poo while we were eating. He smiled right after, though...he knows what he's doing, I swear. :) Once we got home I was off to the Aud Farewell event with my cousin Kim, and Jacob spent the afternoon with Grandma and Grandpa! Kim and I had a great time reminiscing about our glory days as hockey fans, and Jacob did well hanging out at home. He was extra happy after a nap and a meal, and we had a blast playing with him before Jacob and I had to pack up and go.
As a whole he was so well-behaved all weekend. It seems that when he's happy, he's really happy...lots of smiles and some good laughs. When he's content he just seems to be taking everything in...looking around, reaching out, chewing on his hands. When he's not so happy it's obvious, and in most cases he's either tired or hungry (or maybe just looking for a little attention). Hungry is an easy fix, as long as it's a convenient time or place. If he's tired it's just a matter of getting him to relax enough to fall asleep. The one thing I don't get is why he's suddenly fussy whenever we get in the car to go somewhere. My mom's theory is that his carrier cover prevents him from moving his feet, but that happens before we're ever in the car, and he mostly starts crying when we start moving. That used to be a good thing for him, but apparently not anymore. It was tough to deal with it repeatedly this weekend (particularly when I'm in the front seat--at least he had company in the back some of the time this weekend). Maybe he's just uncomfortable in another way...Lord knows bundling up isn't very fun as an adult either, let alone when you're strapped into a car seat, too. Poor thing.
Back to the real world today, though. Hopefully he had fun at day care watching the snowflakes fall outside! Now it's just the countdown to a couple days off for Thanksgiving. I can't wait!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Tough Day
...More for me than Jacob, but he didn't have such a great evening himself. Jacob was exceptionally fussy last night, crying a lot. Even when he was being held, he tended to either cry or whine a bit. He didn't feel warm and didn't exhibit any signs of illness beyond his still-present cough and congestion. As unpleasant as that stuff is, I'm grateful he hasn't yet had one of those massive runny noses you see so many kids with. Knock on wood. But regardless (particularly in light of the stories below), I couldn't help but be concerned that he was so much fussier than usual. I kept asking him, "What's wrong?", hoping he'd magically answer. In between crying spells he still had his moments with smiles here and there, and he went down to bed pretty well after about two minutes of fussing. Seemed better this morning, so I can only hope. I'm concerned enough about how this weekend's visit to Grandma and Grandpa's will go...first trip away since his overnight meltdown at Craig's parents' house a few weeks ago...but I think I'm going to bring his humidifer with us (worth the hassle if it helps him sleep, and based on what I've experienced, it does.) so hopefully we'll be ok.
As for me, yesterday was a tough parent day, emotionally. It seemed like I kept running into unfortunate stories about sick kids and the impact on their parents. Two of the blogs I read each day dealt with this topic--one discussing miscarriages, the other talking about a two month old baby (the nephew of the blogger, as told by her sister, the mom) who was having seizures and was diagnosed with this horrible problem--though a second opinion gave them a little more hope that he could still end up pretty normal. Even still, not something you ever want to think about. The miscarriage one obviously had less of an impact since (for now) I'm past that stage, but now that I have a baby and know the joy of watching this little baby turn into a little person, the thought of losing one and wondering "what if..." is hard to think about.
Just those two blogs alone made me feel incredibly blessed to have a healthy baby, and slightly fearful that something could ever happen to Jacob. As I've mentioned here before, the mere thought of it makes me absolutely distraught. You never want to expect something to happen to your child, but there's always the thought that things happen to very ordinary people, and who's to say it couldn't happen to you? Why one person over another? This particular family has already been through cancer three times (once for the blogger and twice for the mother of this child), so there's obviously little justice in the world sometimes. So while you shouldn't expect it, there's always that little part of you that thinks about it and prays that your family is spared the pain.
As if that wasn't enough, last night's ER nearly brought me to tears. The appearance of the long-deceased Dr. Greene was pretty cool, but the general topic of the show was sick children. One storyline took place in the present, dealing with a little girl who feel into some freezing water and was unconscious. Of course her parents were devastated while they were doing everything to revive her. That storyline ended pretty well, but I don't know if they ever discussed what shape that girl's brain might be in after all that trauma. The other storyline took place in the past, with one doctor thinking back to when her otherwise healthy son was started having seizures and ended up at that same hospital (with Dr. Greene as his doctor). After one particular seizure, as the boy woke up, he started vomiting blood, and it all went downhill from there. Ultimately they discovered that he had leukemia, which caused a stroke. The boy died. Healthy to dead in one afternoon. I know it's TV and I know they do stuff like that to get a response from the viewer, but as a parent, it's hard not to put yourself in their shoes. Even if the stroke wouldn't have done him in, the leukemia would have been a tough battle on its own. And we've all come across stories of kids with cancer and been heartbroken at the thought of it ever happening to someone you love. But at the end of the storyline, the dead little boy on the gurney hit a little too close to home and I was moments away from breaking down. Sad, scary stuff.
From cancer to autism to accidents, there are so many things that can happen to kids--so many that are completely sudden and shocking--and when you have something so precious, the thought of losing it is horrifying. And from the moment you find out you're having a baby, that is your existence. It intensifies when you have the baby and can hold it in your arms, and from what I can tell so far it becomes even more intense as they grow and develop into a complete person with so many different qualities to love. No matter the stress and problems of the day, I know I should be grateful for every single moment I have with Jacob. Even when he's crying, I know I should be thankful to have that crying baby to hold and comfort. It's not always easy, but deep down I know it.
Parenthood is an amazing experience, for better or for worse, and I don't think you can ever grasp what it all means until you're in the middle of it. A friend of mine just told me that he and his wife are expecting. When I asked if it was planned, he responded that they weren't doing anything to prevent it, but they weren't specifically trying, either. It's not my place to make a judgment on their intentions, because he's a tough guy to read sometimes and there's probably more going on below the surface, but I genuinely hope that deep down they really did want this to happen. Parenthood is not something to be taken lightly...there's way too much that goes into it and it's a lifelong commitment. I'm sure they will take a lot of joy in their baby once it arrives, but my hope is that they know (as best they can) what they're getting into!
Have a happy weekend everyone!
As for me, yesterday was a tough parent day, emotionally. It seemed like I kept running into unfortunate stories about sick kids and the impact on their parents. Two of the blogs I read each day dealt with this topic--one discussing miscarriages, the other talking about a two month old baby (the nephew of the blogger, as told by her sister, the mom) who was having seizures and was diagnosed with this horrible problem--though a second opinion gave them a little more hope that he could still end up pretty normal. Even still, not something you ever want to think about. The miscarriage one obviously had less of an impact since (for now) I'm past that stage, but now that I have a baby and know the joy of watching this little baby turn into a little person, the thought of losing one and wondering "what if..." is hard to think about.
Just those two blogs alone made me feel incredibly blessed to have a healthy baby, and slightly fearful that something could ever happen to Jacob. As I've mentioned here before, the mere thought of it makes me absolutely distraught. You never want to expect something to happen to your child, but there's always the thought that things happen to very ordinary people, and who's to say it couldn't happen to you? Why one person over another? This particular family has already been through cancer three times (once for the blogger and twice for the mother of this child), so there's obviously little justice in the world sometimes. So while you shouldn't expect it, there's always that little part of you that thinks about it and prays that your family is spared the pain.
As if that wasn't enough, last night's ER nearly brought me to tears. The appearance of the long-deceased Dr. Greene was pretty cool, but the general topic of the show was sick children. One storyline took place in the present, dealing with a little girl who feel into some freezing water and was unconscious. Of course her parents were devastated while they were doing everything to revive her. That storyline ended pretty well, but I don't know if they ever discussed what shape that girl's brain might be in after all that trauma. The other storyline took place in the past, with one doctor thinking back to when her otherwise healthy son was started having seizures and ended up at that same hospital (with Dr. Greene as his doctor). After one particular seizure, as the boy woke up, he started vomiting blood, and it all went downhill from there. Ultimately they discovered that he had leukemia, which caused a stroke. The boy died. Healthy to dead in one afternoon. I know it's TV and I know they do stuff like that to get a response from the viewer, but as a parent, it's hard not to put yourself in their shoes. Even if the stroke wouldn't have done him in, the leukemia would have been a tough battle on its own. And we've all come across stories of kids with cancer and been heartbroken at the thought of it ever happening to someone you love. But at the end of the storyline, the dead little boy on the gurney hit a little too close to home and I was moments away from breaking down. Sad, scary stuff.
From cancer to autism to accidents, there are so many things that can happen to kids--so many that are completely sudden and shocking--and when you have something so precious, the thought of losing it is horrifying. And from the moment you find out you're having a baby, that is your existence. It intensifies when you have the baby and can hold it in your arms, and from what I can tell so far it becomes even more intense as they grow and develop into a complete person with so many different qualities to love. No matter the stress and problems of the day, I know I should be grateful for every single moment I have with Jacob. Even when he's crying, I know I should be thankful to have that crying baby to hold and comfort. It's not always easy, but deep down I know it.
Parenthood is an amazing experience, for better or for worse, and I don't think you can ever grasp what it all means until you're in the middle of it. A friend of mine just told me that he and his wife are expecting. When I asked if it was planned, he responded that they weren't doing anything to prevent it, but they weren't specifically trying, either. It's not my place to make a judgment on their intentions, because he's a tough guy to read sometimes and there's probably more going on below the surface, but I genuinely hope that deep down they really did want this to happen. Parenthood is not something to be taken lightly...there's way too much that goes into it and it's a lifelong commitment. I'm sure they will take a lot of joy in their baby once it arrives, but my hope is that they know (as best they can) what they're getting into!
Have a happy weekend everyone!
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