Out the Other Side

I made it through my colonoscopy.

It wasn't pleasant, but I made it.  And thankfully, it went so well that I don't have to do it again for 10 years.  Whether my system actually cooperates and behaves itself until then remains to be seen, but it was good news.  No polyps and apparently nothing concerning at first glance.  Still waiting on the pathology, of course, but hopefully that is equally uneventful.

Monday was rough.  I had to adhere to a liquid diet, and even though I bought a bunch of things to get me through--two kinds of Jello, popsicles, Italian ice, Gatorade, juice, and chicken broth, plus a Mountain Dew Baja Blast I already had to power through--I was losing my mind by mid-morning.  All I wanted was something crunchy or with some sort of substance.  Nothing was very filling or satisfying, and every time I walked into the kitchen I'd see something and instinctively want to eat it to scratch the subconscious itch I felt all day.  I tried to avoid the kitchen and not even cook for the kids, who were home on break, just because I didn't want to accidentally pop something in my mouth.  I did end up having to cook dinner, mostly because we ate out a lot over the weekend and I figured we'd eat out on Tuesday, too, so if I could avoid one more expensive meal out, it was worth it.  But it was a very long day without real food and by dinner time I was getting really hungry.

Of course, that was right around the time that my true prep began.  I had to fill a gallon jug from the pharmacy with the prep powder in it and drink down half over the course of a few hours.  Eight ounces every 20 minutes until half of it was gone.  Even though I can't taste, I could tell it tasted terrible.  It had this odd texture, almost like it should be greasy or thicker, but it wasn't.  It also had an odd salty aftertaste, probably from the electrolytes in it.  It was just miserable.  Cold was better and a straw helped, but it was gross, especially in that quantity.  That definitely filled me up...but just as quickly it started to exit.  A little over an hour in the bathroom trips started, and pretty much never ended aside from the maybe four hours of sleep I got once the worst of it was over.  But by about the fourth trip, I was no longer putting out anything solid.  I'm convinced I could have been done right then and been fine, but no, I had hours of "fun" ahead of me of evacuating the same clear, pee-colored liquid over and over and over again.  I think I was helped along by the previous couple weeks of digestive pyrotechnics I had because it really didn't take long to clean me out.  I half expected some sort of grotesque blockage to clear later on or something, but nope.

I had to wake up again at 3am and drink the rest of the prep, which was just more annoyance.  I watched a movie on the basement couch and used the ad breaks for bathroom visits and to refill my bottle.  I probably felt better than I expected on no real food and very little sleep, but rest assured, by the time I got to the GI office, I was beyond ready to be done.  I was tired of my stomach gurgling and worrying that something was going to leak out of my butt.  I wanted to sleep and be horizontal and get some real food.  Even still, I couldn't help but laugh that the receptionist made sure to mention the location of the waiting room bathroom to every colonoscopy person that came in.  And I think most of us needed it.

It's not my favorite thing to be naked under a gown waiting for something to get shoved up my butt, but in the end that was pretty much a non-event.  I was out cold before anything of note happened, and then it was over.  I have pretty much zero memory of waking up, getting dressed, and getting loaded into the van.  The anesthesia does that, but I was shocked at how little I remembered.  When I had my endoscopy years ago, I recalled being a little foggy after the fact, but I remembered coming-to reasonably well.  This time, nope.  We came home, I had a bowl of cereal and pretty much went right to bed after that.  I slept for maybe an hour or two before getting up for lunch, some sushi from Wegmans.  It just sounded good and not greasy, since they warn against that.  The rest of the day was pretty slow and quiet.  I rested a bit more, did my diamond painting, and just laid low.  Not a bad way to spend a day, although admittedly I wish I would have been a little more productive with my free time, even just making jewelry or something.  But my phone was just easier.  We had some Chick-fil-A for dinner (except Carter who got Taco Bell), and I was eager to get to bed at a reasonable time and catch up on some sleep.

I don't think there was enough sleep in the world to fully recover, but I had a reasonably productive day at work and got to compare colonoscopy stories with a few people, which was sort of fun.  Although I did find out that one person had a much more reasonable prep.  They got to do the Miralax-mixed-with Gatorade-chasing-Dulcolax method.  I'm not convinced Miralax works for me, but Gatorade would have tasted so much better.  But even at that volume it was making her feel gross.  And she got to do hers all afternoon into the evening, which would have been preferable to the middle of the night.  Everyone seems to find the experience pretty miserable, a little bizarre, and not something they want to repeat for a while.

But it's done.  And, as a quote said in an article I read about someone with colon cancer, I'd rather do 30 of those than do chemo, so it's all good.  My cousin just went through it and now his cancer popped back up in his lung, and my high school classmate is going through treatment right now, so I don't take any of this for granted.  Of course, I'd feel better if my system would get back to normal from whatever has overtaken it these last few weeks.  I thought maybe it was chilling out a bit before the colonoscopy, and it seemed a little less explosive after, but it's still having moments.  Carter is still dealing with stuff, too, so either we are sharing an illness or both have something else going on.  At least I know mine isn't colon-based, but I still think SIBO is a valid possibility for both of us.  I felt like maybe it validated it when I had a rather rough moment after drinking the Mountain Dew on Monday.  I'd had a very calm day (for obvious reasons) and then after that suddenly things got spicy, and sugar can irritate SIBO.  I'm keeping a close eye on Carter too.  I just want him to feel better, but at least we know in the next week or two we're on track to do some testing.  But I would really like a break from worrying about my kids having terrible issues.  I still can hardly believe how I went from one getting generally cleared to the other having stuff cropping up.  It's crazy.

But for now, we're going to try to enjoy our Easter weekend.  Most of it will seemingly be spent in Buffalo if all goes well, which will be a nice change of pace to just sort of chill there for a bit.  Now I'm off to start working on food and packing--Easter baskets on the road definitely makes things a bit more complicated!  But it'll be fun!