Life in a Time of Coronavirus

Even in just a couple days since I last posted, life has changed considerably.  This is getting all too real, all too serious, and all too anxiety-inducing.  I barely know where to begin, but I suppose documenting this experience as it happens seems important.  It's nearly unprecedented (at least in the lifetimes of those currently alive) and may go down as one of the biggest news stories for decades to come.  Parts of the world are shutting down, and the U.S. is slowly starting to follow suit.

Just in the last day or two, the following things have happened:

• The university where I work, along with my alma mater and countless other schools, have shifted to all online classes for the rest of the semester.  In addition, many schools are encouraging students to stay home, effectively emptying out the campus and disrupting any sense of community that makes college the amazing thing it is.  
• The NBA has suspended its season.  That obviously did not go over well in our house, but it all made a lot more sense when it was announced that one player tested positive for the virus.  A teammate has now, as well.  With all of the close contact on the court, not to mention off-the-court locker room and travel time, it makes all the sense in the world.  But it stinks.
• The NLL suspended its season.  Sad as it is, this came as a welcome bit of news since I didn't like the thought of Craig traveling or being in the midst of the sports petri dish every weekend.  Now, for at least a while, he won't have to.
• The NHL suspended its season, and it appears the minor leagues will be following suit.
• Major League Soccer suspended its season, and all of baseball is delayed for at least a couple weeks.
• Pretty much all of the college basketball tournaments, including March Madness, have been canceled.
• Our county received its first positive test.  There are more people under quarantine awaiting results (including a student in our district), and while I know there are likely many more cases out there, the first positive definitely added to the anxiety.  As a result of that news, Rochester finally canceled its St. Patrick's parade this weekend.  Given the story I read about the role a parade played in Philadelphia's unfortunate run-in with the 1918 flu epidemic, it bugged me that they waited so long to cancel.  Buffalo followed suit.
• Flights to and from Europe have been banned for a month.
• All of Ireland is shutting down, despite minimal cases and deaths there.  A friend of ours is studying there, which puts her in an odd spot.
• The state of Ohio is closing schools for three weeks.
• People are still hoarding toilet paper for no apparent reason, and also soap, hand sanitizer, and other germ killing agents.  Store shelves are empty despite limits on purchases.  Apparently pasta is starting to disappear, as well.

This has all pretty much thrown my entire world into a moderate tailspin.  It's all very important mind you, but it's mentally challenging.  With each cancellation comes an odd balance--concern for the crumbling pieces of "normal" society and relief for one less way for the virus to be spread on a massive scale.  As much as the shutdowns feel very foreign and sad, the more I read about "social distancing" and how it works, the more I know this has to be done.  And honestly, doing it this way sounds a heck of a lot better than the mandatory lockdown in Italy, instituted once their situation got out of hand.  The more regulations in place, the less risk of mass transmission, and the pandemic grows at a much slower pace.  This gives the medical facilities the best chance to not get overwhelmed, since our medical infrastructure does not have enough space, equipment, or providers to properly care for such a large influx of patients.  Any other alternative could be devastating.

Work is mostly at a standstill.  We're still trying to keep things moving forward, but we know asking for money at a time like this is dicey so we have to tread lightly, change messaging, and hope that not all of our efforts will be for nothing.  I have one project that I can do without issue, and thankfully it usually takes me weeks.  No word yet on whether I will be doing it from home, but that's certainly been floated as a possibility.  I hate working from home, but the one thing that might make it mandatory is if the kids are home.  No word on that yet either, but with a confirmed case in town, I'm sure it's not far off.  Our district canceled all events except sports practices today, so I feel like things are inching ever closer to closure.  Jacob told me today that his teacher was asking about their tech capabilities at home--laptop, phone, etc.--presumably for future online learning.  I can't say I relish being stuck at home with the kids for weeks, but if it keeps us safe, I guess that's what we need to do.  And there will have to be a schedule, for sure.  Mandatory work/school time for reading and whatever online resources we can track down, to ensure it's not an electronics free-for-all for weeks on end.

I'm not sure what I'm struggling with most.  The fear of the illness is significant.  While I know none of us have a super high risk of severe issues, we definitely have parents and older aunts and uncles that fall within concerning age ranges.  My parents have been sick since they got back from their cruise but it would seem their symptoms don't match up, so I'm hopeful they're OK for now.  But who knows?  With the projections they've been making, it sounds like a significant portion of the population could be affected, so it's worrisome that someone we know will have a really bad outcome.  And with our health insurance changing this year, I have no idea what we might be facing if we need significant treatment--or heck, even a test right now.  It seriously makes you second-guess every sneeze or sniffle or congestion causing a cough.  And it makes you suspicious of literally everyone around you.  A sneeze or cough in the office makes you wonder who touched which doorknob or water cooler button.  There's sanitizer around, but it feels a bit like a hopeless cause to avoid something that lives on surfaces for over a week and hangs in the air for extended periods of time, as well.  But ultimately, I mostly don't want my kids sick, even if this doesn't seem to impact kids too badly.  And if I got it myself, the lack of functionality in our household would be concerning since Craig barely cooks and going out to dinner isn't really an option if everyone ends up quarantined.  Keep in mind that if the illnesses stack up, this could be the case for weeks on end.  I don't even know how to keep enough food on hand.  I guess we could rely on delivery, but who knows if that will even be a thing if too many people are sick?  I'm trying to stock up a little at a time, but it's harder than I expected.  I think the logistics of groceries, extended time off school, working remotely, and spending so much stinking time at home are also very concerning.

It's also crazy to think how boring this period could be, with no sports, no large events, and pretty much nothing to look forward to.  My cousin's wedding is in two weeks and I have no idea what happens with that.  Other than that, the status of both boys' basketball seasons are up in the air.  Carter's is almost done, but Jacob's is just starting in one week, and clearly tournaments involve a lot of people.  I pretty much live for scheduled activities since the in-between hum-drum of life can get pretty boring, so this will be a tough period mentally.  I also wonder when or if it's wise to see my parents, for risk of carrying something to them or getting what they have.  I can't help but wonder if Easter will be affected, too.  Even church--which is currently still on--seems like a risk.  Everything makes you think twice right now.

I feel so bad for so many groups of people--college seniors who are being robbed of their last months on campus, and maybe even graduation; athletes who train so hard for their spring sports that are now canceled, especially for seniors; all the teams that made it to the NCAA tournament (or won't get the chance to try), and will maybe lose their only chance ever to play in it; medical professionals that are facing a daunting, exhausting, terrifying task of overloaded spaces, not enough equipment, and the risk of getting the virus themselves; teachers and professors who now need to figure out how to effectively teach online, or manage to deal with kids who won't be in the classroom for weeks; parents who need to figure out how to manage their work schedule when their kids aren't in school.  The problems seem endless.  Heck, I think of people who are already germaphobes or have serious social anxiety and how much worse this must be making that.  I know I'm struggling and those things are merely a blip on my radar normally.  I realized on my drive in this morning that the tiredness I usually feel at that time of morning had been replaced by a rapid, anxious heart rate, so I was wide awake.

The world feels unstable, to the point that every time I open my web browser I expect more bad news...and most of the time it's there.  I've read a number of articles, though luckily I think they support all of these measures so solidly that I'm fighting them less than expected.  I actually really just want to hole up in my house and have us all living in a bubble for a while.  Things are just changing so rapidly that I don't feel like I can even leave my work computer at work overnight or say, "See you Monday" to a colleague who's off work tomorrow.  It's scary and unnerving, and as a parent responsible for other people, it's overwhelming.  And then 10 minutes ago Carter told me (in the middle of basketball practice, of course) that he has a sore throat.  So there's that.  Admittedly, I noticed an uptick in my allergy symptoms today and had a twinge of post-nasal drip myself, so I'm hoping it's just the abnormally warmish weather contributing to both of our conditions.  We'll definitely be on fever and ache watch, I guess.  It honestly makes you overanalyze everything, and it's exhausting.  I felt like I ran a marathon after work most days this week.  It's depressing and scary, and feels somewhat similar to that horrible out-of-control feeling I remember from around September 11th, without the horrible human toll (yet).  Well, I guess if you look worldwide it's similar in numbers, but clearly it feels a bit different.  But not knowing what the days and weeks ahead hold is really hard for a planner.

So, I guess this is a developing story...one we're all living in one way or another.  Stay tuned to my version here...