Eviction Notice

Yesterday Carter's tonsils and adenoids officially got their eviction notice!  In just over a month, they will come out, and hopefully our sweet little boy will finally be able to sleep soundly!

This has been a long time coming, although we didn't necessarily think we'd end up here.  We noticed a couple years ago that Carter seemed to snore more than would be expected, especially since he's such a skinny kid.  He does tend to be congested more than I'd like, but then again, so am I, so maybe it's genetic or an unfortunate allergy thing (I'm on allergy shots and medicine and my nose still trickles constantly).  Sometimes I've wondered if it had anything to do with how deformed his nose was when he was born.  It was smooshed to the side a bit, probably because he came out sunny side up and possibly could have gotten it caught up on my pubic bone or something.  Perhaps his septum is super deviated as a result?

We did the sleep study over a year ago, and at that time he was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea.  I noticed him snoring a little that night, but the bigger issue ended up being that he moved around a lot.  He was basically slightly rousing himself constantly, which meant his sleep was not good.  They thought it might be a restless leg thing, which was potentially validated when his ferritin levels came back low, since low iron can contribute to restless leg.  No one has really explained why his ferritin levels might be low, though friends of ours had the same issue with their son, so maybe it's more common than you'd think?  On a related note, I'm getting concerned about Carter's lack of weight gain even though he's continuing to get taller, so that will probably be the next thing we chat with the doctor about.  Is he just skinny, or is his body not absorbing what it needs for some reason, ferritin included?

Anyway, it's hard to say if the constant motion has gotten better since we've been supplementing for the past year, but I do think the apnea has gotten worse.  The snoring happens every night for at least a few hours, and is terrible when he's on his back.  He can't seem to breathe through his mouth despite his nose being stuffy, so he's constantly struggling to breathe properly.  He tries to inhale so hard that his whole body is jarred, and if he can't get the air in, his body will wake him up just enough to roll over and take a breath through his mouth in the process.  It's painful to watch and impossible to sleep through.  When I was in a hotel bed next to him I constantly rolled him on his side, as it seems to get better that way.  That's what makes me think it's not just congestion, but something internal that moves out of the way when he's on his side.

His tonsils traditionally haven't been huge, but when he got his strep diagnosis last week they were large, and the ENT seemed to indicate they were still big yesterday.  I think his issue is more the adenoids, since they would seem to impact the nose more, and that's where he's breathing.  It's been worse since around Thanksgiving, culminating in the return of nighttime wetting accidents, which hadn't been an issue in years.  Everyone seems to be in agreement that this is the cause, and that surgery will help.  Originally with the "mild apnea" diagnosis and the unremarkable tonsil size, we were given the option to do the surgery, and for a while it didn't seem necessary.  Now we think it is.

I can't help but wonder how noticeable the improvement will be.  Lots of friends insist their kids are so much better.  But, I mean, I know he should sleep more quietly, and I assume it will be higher quality sleep.  Will it change when he needs to wake up?  Will it change his behavior?  Will he learn better at school?  I read somewhere once that interrupted sleep like that can basically make you have that awful, overtired, almost drunk feeling, so I can see how that would be a bit distracting and disorienting.  Carter seems to have great long term memory, but sometimes his short term is lacking, and I can't help but wonder if this could be part of the problem.  Someone even mentioned their kid could hear better, so maybe that's an issue, too, as his speech probably isn't as clear as I feel like it should be right now.  Heck, maybe his lack of weight gain could be aided too, if this makes him feel better, burn less calories overnight, and just generally helps his body properly recharge.  Who knows?

My biggest fear, of course, is that we'll go through this whole process and it will be for nothing.  Well, my real biggest fear is that something goes wrong, but my second biggest fear is that we'll go through all of this and find out later that it was, in fact, a deviated septum or something like that.  This is going to be a lengthy recovery--two weeks out of school and another week with very limited physical activity, and soft foods throughout.  You'd think in the 35 years since I had my tonsils removed that they'd have improved this process, but it sounds every bit as miserable, lengthy, and painful as it was then.  I'm dreading having to feed him such a limited menu, and figuring out the work-life balance to be home with him will be a challenge (though my job is very understanding and supportive).  We managed to schedule it during winter break, which means he'll miss less school, but it's only four days after his birthday, so that will be a bit of a bummer--though at least he'll be home for two weeks with new toys!  I really would have liked to do it sooner, but between the school issue and Craig's schedule and Jacob's sports, this really ended up being the best option.  But another month of anxiety and bad sleep isn't ideal either.  I worry that some sort of permanent damage is being done while he sleeps like this, but I'm just not sure there was a better way to get it done without turning all of our lives upside-down.

Committing to send your kid into surgery really sucks.  Jacob's been put under three times (and it's never easy), but this will be Carter's first time so you just never know how he'll respond.  Craig and Jacob both take extra long to come out of anesthesia, and it always makes me extra nervous.  As much as I know this is a routine surgery, I can't shake my worry.  And the aftermath can be a little crazy with the bleeding risk, so the whole thing just has me anxious.  It's always been tough with Jacob, but there's something about Carter--he's always been my peanut, and he has this sweet, innocent personality--that makes it harder to know we're actively doing something (somewhat voluntarily) that's going to cause him pain.  A couple weeks of it, in fact.  It makes my heart hurt, but I know--based on all the info we currently have in front of us--that this is important.  I want him to sleep well, breathe easily, and grow up big and strong.  This is a necessary step to that.  It still stinks.  We have a month to prepare and pray, and I just hope we're timing it out well and everything will go smoothly.  To be continued in 35 days...