Something Special

Today I had a reunion with a group of friends from college.  This particular get-together occurs every five years and is with the group from Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, the organization that changed my college experience and the rest of my life.  It's mostly for those who participated back in the 90s, so there's a group that's a few years older than me, a lot from my era, and a few from more recent years.  Even though I didn't go to school with some of the older folks, some lived close by when I was in college, and others participated as group leaders at retreats or popped into large group meetings periodically.  There were always stories told, so they're still familiar to some degree and they've been the driving force behind these reunions for a while now.

I was a little disappointed as the guest list took shape for this one.  For every person I was excited to see, there were a bunch that weren't coming.  A lot of them were in for an adult dinner get-together tonight, but with Craig on the road and the kids as they are, it would have been complicated.  So, I just had to make the best of it at the picnic.  And honestly, my heart is so full tonight.

Mary couldn't make it, unfortunately, and obviously she was central to my college experience.  Hopefully I'll have as many as two chances to see her in the next month, so that's good, but given the inseparable pair we were back then, I figure it always freaks people out a bit when one of us is missing!  But I did get to see a number of people I haven't seen in years--probably since the last one--and with five years of kid growth all around, it was a little mind-blowing.  We mostly just caught up and reminisced as we ate, and it was great. 

As for the kids, they literally ran off as we arrived and ended up having a blast.  Jacob spent the entire day on the basketball court, eventually being joined by a handful of other boys.  Carter was in his glory on the playground, and after lunch he had more friends than he could count.  I tried to check in periodically, but they were generally self-sufficient and didn't need more than a couple water breaks the entire five hours we were there!  Amazing what happens with other kids around!

Highlight #1 of my day was seeing Pastor Dave (a.k.a. Papa Dave).  He was our father figure at college, a pastor of the church we went to and part of the Intervarsity staff.  He was a wise man, so gentle and welcoming, while being young at heart and a perfect addition to our lunch time conversations in the union lounge.  He is one of my favorite people in the world to this day.  His face lights up each time I see him, and he remembers infinite numbers of details of interactions he had with all of us.  This is nearly 20 years ago for me, and more with the older crew, and he still remembers.  All this from a man who almost died in his 40s from a brain hemorrhage.  He's one of the most incredible, genuine people I've ever met.  He's now 70 (though I swear he looks almost the same) and I guess there's always the thought in the back of my mind that he won't be around forever...so each chance I have to see him, I savor it.  Today he recounted how shocked he was when I got my internship with the Amerks, as it was pretty out there for a shy, reserved girl like me to drive into the city multiple times a week.  He was always such a voice of reason, but everyone's biggest cheerleader at the same time.  He was always tickled by Mary's and my friendship, and because his daughter loves horses, that was a special bond he had with Mary.  Anyway, seeing him--and hearing his remarks during the sharing part of the event--was truly great.

Dave and me on my graduation day 18 years ago - he always said that we couldn't leave campus without a signed note from God, and someone today said that they forged theirs and that's why they now are back on campus as a professor!

Highlight #2 happened during the worship time.  I was standing across from the door and happened to look out and see a familiar face walking up from the parking lot.  It was one of my dearest friends, Ted.  Ted and I have a bit of a complicated history, I suppose, but his friendship was one of the best things I took away from those four years...and he was only really a major part of two of them.  It all started one day during my junior year during one of those aforementioned lunchtime conversations in the union.  I was recounting to Pastor Dave my mixed feelings about my very dear high school friend Mike's "outing".  I'd found out through a friend that Mike was gay, and given that he was one of my best friends, I was crushed.  Certainly I was worried because he'd been a Christian, so I wasn't sure where that left his faith, and HIV was still a big deal back then and he hadn't dated much even when he was straight so I wasn't sure how careful he knew to be.  But the worst part was that he was afraid to tell me.  That lack of trust hurt more than anything, and I was reeling about all of it.  Dave gave me some advice, and Ted just happened to be there.  Even though we hadn't ever talked much, I spilled the whole story to him.  He was easy to talk to and put me more at ease.  That conversation led to more long ones, and conveniently he lived in my dorm, so sometimes conversations went long into the night.  The thing was, while we did develop feelings for each other rather quickly, the friendship came first for so long and it was a huge lesson for both of us in patience and restraint.  My suitemates couldn't believe we could talk all night without anything happening, but truly, nothing did.  I think this all started in October, and by December we knew things had to progress, but we were so careful about moving forward.  We did eventually date for a little bit, but I got flaky at some point and it didn't work out.  Once we got past that awkwardness, our friendship resumed and he was a huge part of my college experience.  Since then, though, I think I've only seen him twice.  He happened to pass through town the day I moved to Rochester and kept me company on that first night.  He came into town a year later and a group of us went to the zoo together, but by then I was with Craig and I suppose guy-girl friendships with former flames can be weird.  Seventeen years later, he's lived all over and we're both married with kids, but a recent move back to New York allowed him to make it in today.  I almost didn't believe my eyes when I saw him walking up, and all this time later it meant the world to see him.  Our friendship means the world to me.  And he's still the same guy, just a grown-up version! :)

But as a whole, it was just amazing to look around at so many people, realizing that once we were all just kids and now our kids are all playing together.  It was crazy to realize that collectively we've created this whole new generation, and all these years later we know we had something so special that we still care enough to get together and catch up with each other for a few hours.  I'd do it every year, honestly.  It really struck me as Dave spoke that as much as we knew it was something special, it truly was a unique and special experience to have those four years to bond and grow together.  I'll admit my work on my faith now isn't quite what it was back then, and that's not good--but today was a reminder how great it was back then and how I should be doing better now.  It made for such a fulfilling time, socially, spiritually, and academically, and nothing may ever match it.  But I'm so glad it happened and grateful for a little peek into the past today.