Home for Christmas, aka How It Turned Out

As evidenced by my last post, this Christmas ended up being an odd one.  Not horribly terrible, but disappointing.  As I mentioned, things really got started on Friday when the storm arrived and our power went out.  I managed to finish wrapping via window light around mid-afternoon, which was good, but I couldn't bake as planned.  And without power we couldn't watch movies or play Christmas music without depleting batteries at a time when we needed to preserve them, so things felt a bit devoid of the Christmas spirit I was hoping for that day.  I basically just wanted to sleep the afternoon away and hoped I'd wake up when the power came back.  Around 4:30 we had to start considering our options.  The house was getting cold and we needed to make plans for dinner.  We had already gotten lunch out so we didn't open the fridge during the outage (Craig was able to release the garage door opener and venture out), but it was looking like we'd need to eat out again.  My cousin Lori had invited us over if we needed to warm up and Craig was pushing us to go sooner rather than later.  I was holding off so as to not make ourselves a burden, not to mention it was simply more convenient to go out at the same time we'd need to get dinner.  And then I said we couldn't go until we took care of our fridge food since the standard is four hours and it had already been that long.  We pulled up two big coolers and loaded in all of the perishable stuff to set on the porch.  But just as I was putting on boots, the power went back on!  It was such a relief.  

The coolers were ready but thankfully we never had to take them out or figure out the balance to keep them cold but not frozen!

We did a quick dinner at home with a rotisserie chicken I had the forethought to have Craig and Jacob pick up when they went to Wegmans earlier that day.  I figured the rest of the chicken would come in handy sometime during the weekend or once we got back from Buffalo.  

We had given the boys the choice to do gifts on our normal Christmas Eve morning, or postpone gift opening to Christmas morning since we knew by that point we'd likely not leave until Christmas Day, when the storm was supposed to be done based on the storm warnings.  They decided we should keep our tradition and open gifts on Christmas Eve morning.  It sort of made me smile because I spent so many years feeling guilty that we didn't get to do our gifts at home on Christmas morning, feeling like my kids would never get the same kind of tradition and excitement that I did.  But here we are all these years later and now my kids love our odd tradition, which we unknowingly created from scratch.  It's strange and wonderful all at the same time.  

I was a little worried that if Christmas got postponed further it would leave us with a LOT of holiday time devoid of fun and festivities, but if we did leave on time, Christmas morning would be rushed, so I figured it was fine sticking with what the boys wanted.  So, that meant Friday night was the night for cinnamon roll prep and special PJs!  I ended up doing my same cinnamon roll recipe again despite insisting last year that I was going to find a new one.  They're good but the dough is hard to work with, but I needed stability and easiness this year because everything else was so far out of my control.  I actually got that done at a reasonable time for a change.  I also got my act together enough to get us matching pajamas this year before the sizes started selling out, so we whipped those out and grabbed a picture before bed.

Eventually the boys were in bed and I was able to bring out all the gifts and do my traditional pictures in the dark.  

It wasn't exactly the most peaceful Christmas Eve Eve ever, but we got through it.  I put my earplugs in because the winds were awful, and got a reasonably decent night's sleep.  The boys slept in pretty good--probably around 9, I think.  We woke up to continued bad wind, but our snow had stopped.  Meanwhile, my parents were getting hit worse than ever, stuck in the band with constant whiteouts.  More on that in a bit.  But first, the traditional morning stair photo, of course...

And then it was off to gift opening!  I tried to keep them on a slowish pace because there wasn't a ton to open (darn you big kid Christmas) but it probably took about 20 minutes or so.  Lots of candy in the stockings...

...before turning our attention to the tree... 

Left side is family gifts, right side is the Santa haul.

I only took one picture while opening, sadly.  Jacob got a basketball like what he uses for school.

He also got a neck pillow for travel, full sized wearable blanket with sleeves, a basketball rack (which is really a gift to me to clean up our foyer, but he needed things to open and the balls using it are his), the Blue Chips DVD, a new Bluetooth speaker, and a Hallmark Disney ornament to commemorate our trip.

Carter got a magic set, some new "Magic Tracks" style track with a truck (because his real Magic Tracks car wasn't working right anymore and I found a cheap set at Aldi with bridges and stuff for cheaper than a replacement car), a Magic 8-Ball, a new water bottle, Christmas socks, some new rocks for his collection plus a hanging jewelry organizer to display and hang them, and the same Disney ornament as Jacob.  I'll be honest--I did a last-minute Target order last week and an emergency Aldi run because I realized that Carter didn't have anything "fun" for Santa to give him.  I was worried he'd finish opening gifts and start pouting because he didn't have anything to play with.  I'm happy I did, because those Magic Tracks things have probably been the big attraction this week.

Interestingly, I had his Darien Lake season passes in a little gift card tin under the tree, and in the shuffle we forgot about it!  He seemed cool with his gifts so at this point I might just keep it until his birthday.  Jacob is also getting a MyFitnessPal subscription so we could just do both of those at once, but I'm torn because I don't have a lot of ideas for Carter for his birthday right now.  Jury's still out on the best course of action.  

 

I gave Craig a Christmas-themed The Office puzzle that I found on clearance last year.  I meant to get more but nothing jumped out at me...except that I thought about getting him gear for Jacob's school, but then the one day he asked me my size and I guessed maybe he was doing that for ME and I didn't want to get him stuff if he was already getting himself stuff while he was getting mine.  So I figured I'd wait and get him a belated gift if he didn't buy anything for himself.  And I was half right...he did get me school gear, but did not get himself any.  I got a nice jacket and a t-shirt.  I also got the book written by two of the actresses on The Office and a "Super Mommio" mug (get it?).  So, I'll be picking out Craig's attire soon!

I managed to bake a batch of peanut butter blossoms that day, but it ended up being a pretty lazy day otherwise.  I stayed in my pajamas until after lunch, when we decided to get ourselves together enough to go to church for Christmas Eve.  We were originally going to go the night before but the long day without power and the crappy weather made that not ideal.  But I figured we could hit one of the three services the next day, and 2pm fit the bill.  It was a very nice service and not as uncomfortably crowded as usual.  I love the annual candlelit Silent Night near the end, and I still can't get over the crazy engineering of the hanging Christmas trees this year. 
  

There were five trees suspended over the pews.  They were sort of draped with beads like chandeliers.

We checked in on the Bills game (an eventual win over Chicago in subzero wind chills) and we stopped at Wegmans after to pick up a couple more things, but I wish I would have known at that point that things were getting infinitely worse at my parents' house and that it was going to be very unlikely any of the roads would be clear to make it the next day.  Otherwise I would have picked up a whole bunch of Christmas dinner-worthy food for when we were stuck at home the next day.  But that didn't become clear until later as my mom posted crazy pictures and people were reporting what a mess the roads were because cars were stuck and plows couldn't even plow due to the visibility being impossibly bad for over a day.  It was problematic because it allowed the snow to build up to the point that even when they could get out days later, the snow was so deep and compacted that the plows were struggling with it and getting stuck.  There just wasn't a break at all, which made all the difference in this storm since they couldn't keep up with it like they normally would.  I knew by the evening that not enough clearing was going to happen to make it possible or prudent to go.  It was a little crushing.  We ended up having lobster for dinner because I had cheap Aldi tails in the freezer and cooking them was quicker and easier than my other options.  And if you can't do it on Christmas Eve, when else?  I later got annoyed that I didn't save them for Christmas Day, because I didn't have any fancy food left and nowhere Jacob could eat was open on Christmas Day.  Ugh.  We wrapped up the night by watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and then it was off to bed.

Christmas Day was...hard.  I mean, we did what we could.  I woke up around 8am to check the status of the Thruway, and of course it was still closed.  It actually didn't open until two full days after Christmas!  The boys opened up gifts from my brother in the morning, I made another good breakfast--this time pancakes, eggs, and real bacon, plus smoothies--that ended up being brunch, I watched online church, and we watched a lot of Ted Lasso to keep the mood light.  Eventually we did switch to more Christmas-appropriate fare, but it was a day of all-day pajamas, prepping and baking cutouts, FaceTiming my parents, drinking out of my Christmas Vacation moose glass to try to lighten my mood, and eating something just different enough from our norm (using the leftover rotisserie chicken) that it felt just slightly fancier and more Christmas-appropriate, but I was generally feeling a little sorry for myself because I would be missing the Binkley gathering for the first time ever.  It didn't happen for the COVID Christmas and got canceled at the last minute last year (although my mom and I did stop over quickly), but this year it was happening despite the mess and I wouldn't be there.  Instead, I spent some time digging through my parents' photos for a collection of pics that brought back all of those memories from past years.  The chaos with 13 grandkids, the full floor and every seat packed with standing room only, so many relatives who have since passed (my grandparents, great-grandma, three uncles, one aunt), great gifts, cousin bonding, and so much more.  I'm so blessed to have had that for all but the last three Christmases of my life, so it's hard to complain, but it was sad to not have that opportunity again this year.  

Overall, the day just paled in comparison to what we should have been experiencing, and it was annoying because by that day the weather was fine and most of the roads were probably doable had the Thruway been open (based on the cameras anyway), but it still wasn't really safe for us to try and I wasn't willing to risk the back roads.  Lori did because her mom was alone, and while it didn't sound easy, they did make it.  I suppose for my parents, their worry over us trying to make the trip was not worth us actually making it there.  They were together and they were fine, and much preferred us staying safe, so the urgency to try was significantly less.

 

Christmas has always been sort of sacred--a day of lots of family and food and gifts--and being at home in my pajamas and just doing our normal stuff felt sort of...I don't know, disrespectful?  It just didn't really highlight the specialness of the day.  It was one thing for our COVID Christmas when we had no choice and I was able to (sort of) plan ahead to make it as special and fun as possible.  But because of how this all played out with all the unknowns, we blew our wad of fun on Christmas Eve (which, again, might have been okay to avoid a rushed Christmas morning) and that left Christmas feeling a bit empty.  I know there are people who love quiet Christmases at home or live for their movie and Chinese food, and that's great.  But I grew up conditioned to be with lots of family and anything less just doesn't feel like Christmas.  It wasn't an awful day by any means, but I definitely feel like I missed Christmas somehow.  I always have certain expectations and a subconscious mental checklist of things that "confirm" in my mind that it's Christmas--opening gifts at home, loading family gifts and luggage into the car, visiting family on both sides, a couple rounds of church, lots of foods (and certain foods at that), and the satisfying exhaustion of two days well done--and most of that never happened.  My brain can't decide if Christmas is still coming or it never happened, but it just feels like a weird sort of unfilled blank in my mind, as if I was unconscious for a couple days and just missed it.  Sometimes, like when I'm turning on my tree lights, it reminds me that Christmas is officially past and my brain has to process the disappointment all over again.  It's a weird state of being.

I think part of my anxiety in this area is because there's a lingering fear that we will never have a normal Christmas again.  With each passing year of an incomplete holiday, there's always that thought--what if someone dies or something else happens that dramatically changes how we celebrate the holiday?  We keep saying, "there's always next year" or "we have more time to make memories", but the truth is that our parents and relatives are getting older and we're not promised tomorrow.  Unexpected things happen, and if something happens before next year that permanently changes things, I worry that there will forever be this empty space where that last normal Christmas should have been.  I guess you could say that's 2019, but it just seems too far back to feel like enough--like, I can't remember enough of that year all these years later to really lock that in as a core memory like that.  Anyway, I know that worrying about this now seems a bit foolish, but I think it's part of the reason why this is mentally harder than it seems it should be.

At the same time, I couldn't really feel that sorry for myself because so many people were in such dire straits due to the storm.  More people died in this storm than the Blizzard of '77.  There are so many families now mourning those losses right around Christmas.  There were people trapped--at Walmart, Target, other people's houses (in some cases when they were merely walking by and needed shelter), in their cars, or at home without power and sometimes with urgent medical needs.  So many people died outside, and there's one story about a man who was saved by strangers out of a snowbank but currently has severe frostbite.  One family kept a corpse in their house because the person died right outside.  The stories range from heartbreaking to heartwarming and even miraculous, but so many people were impacted and many in terrible ways.  In most cases, a postponed Christmas was the least of their worries.

The good news for us is we should be able to make it up this coming weekend.  Weather should be fine and roads should be back open.  In fact, it's supposed to be up in the 50s by then, so by then everyone should be dealing with flooding instead...yay.  By the way, I read somewhere that Buffalo has over 100 inches of snow this year (some areas have more thanks to the 81 inches in November, but this is the official airport total), which isn't too far off from their seasonal average, and Rochester is dead last in the Golden Snowball competition with NINE.  Seriously?  We can't buy a decent snowfall (not that I'm complaining, but I have a kid who really wants to play in some) and Buffalo has basically guaranteed themselves a record--and in fact they did set a new calendar year record this year.  It's just wacky to be so close and have lived totally different existences over the last month or so.

So, at this point our Christmas is officially in "to be continued" status.  Hopefully after we get some extended family time and complete gift exchanges, things will feel more real and complete.  It's probably a nice bonus that it forces us to be social on New Year's Eve, since we tend to just stay home most years.  But until then I feel like I'll be meandering through Christmas break (or as much Christmas break as two days of working from home allows) just waiting for it to feel like a holiday aside from the post-Christmas mess in the living room and the cookies on the counter.  I did some laundry and organizing today and am trying to hit up little cleaning projects when I find the energy, but this week will quickly whittle away.  Carter and I do have an adventure planned for Friday, so that will be nice.  I might need to take a day off next week before things get crazy as work, just to accomplish whatever I couldn't summon the fortitude to do this week, or couldn't easily do with a full house--like deeper cleaning or organizing donations.  Ironically, I probably had more downtime than usual this year, but we lost a day to the power outage and cleaning the bathroom on Christmas seems...inappropriate.  So, as usual, now I'm playing catch-up.  Why does break never feel as relaxing as it should?  Oh, well.  I still appreciate the time off and I feel like I did what I could with this Christmas season, even if it wasn't what I expected and some of it was a last-minute cram session with our "bonus" time at home.  I'm still a little sad we didn't get the hardcore, jam-packed, full-on 48 hours of family time, but hopefully this weekend feels close and someday we look back on this as one of those rare oddball Christmases with quite a story to tell.

If You Liked COVID Christmas, You'll Love Elliott

Yesterday was Christmas Eve Eve and once upon a time I envisioned a peaceful day of wrapping and Christmas movies solo.  But then I found out Jacob had the entire week before Christmas off, and then the weather changed everything else.  Carter's last day of school was canceled, and that was only the beginning of the havoc the weather was going to wreak on Christmas in Western New York this year.  Winter Storm Elliott decided to crash the party...and in some cases quite literally as cars and trees crashed in its wrath.

I started writing this post on Christmas Eve Eve morning, just as the winds were whipping up and the snow was starting.  The winds instantly got scary, and we were already hearing how bad Buffalo was getting hit.  I was so sad and frustrated because it was likely going to have a major impact on our holiday, but there were still a lot of unknowns so the limbo was driving me nuts at the time.  

I suppose we've been super lucky all these years, as we've never really had a holiday-threatening storm.  For all the lake effect and other craziness this time of year, there's never been a time that I can recall where we had to seriously consider not traveling because of weather.  We've gotten hit a few times while we've been there, maybe a foot or two overnight on Christmas Eve, but nothing that actually altered any plans.  But this year--it figures, right, after two odd COVID Christmases--the weather decided to go absolutely bananas--like historically bad, with elements on par with the Blizzard of '77.  

Winds here got up around 68mph, and areas of Buffalo were worse.  My parents got over two feet of snow and drifts are as tall as grown adults.  We got barely enough snow to cover the grass because of how it blew, but the winds are still a bit gusty 36 hours in.  It's been nearly a constant whiteout throughout much of Buffalo for the last two days.  Like, zero visibility...for hours.  Oh, and all of this was on top of over an inch of rain that flash froze within a matter of hours, and the temperature has been in the teens or lower since, with negative wind chills.  Pressure readings were on par with hurricanes.  Waves were nearing 30 feet on Lake Erie, which seems unreal, and most of the shore is completely iced over.  Wegmans and Tops closed yesterday through Monday morning, which is basically unheard of.  The last-minute Christmas Eve shopping rush was impossible, and the malls were closed anyway.  Everything came to a standstill.  People have been comparing it to that "Day After Tomorrow" movie, which is super freaky but not entirely inaccurate.  And of course this is all happening right smack in the middle of Christmas.  It would have been bad enough any other time, but it hit right in time for all the holiday travel so it's a complete nightmare scenario for so many reasons.  

A couple hours after I started this post and abandoned it to get back to wrapping, our power went out.  It stayed out for about 4-1/2 hours before miraculously coming back on just as we had loaded our fridge food into coolers to leave on the porch.  We were thinking we might head to my cousin Lori's as she had offered, since the house was getting cold and we needed to pick up food for dinner and charge phones, so we were taking care of the fridge before we left because four hours is supposedly the safety standard.  But then it came back just as I was putting on boots to put the coolers on the porch and miraculously stayed on.  Just in time, because the natives were getting restless around here!  It was definitely not the day we were expecting.  I felt so lucky ours came on and we got to have a normal night, especially since I had cinnamon rolls to make!

We had blustery conditions last night, but nothing compared to what I kept seeing from my parents and other folks in WNY.  And today brought a whole new level of hell as the band shifted north and hit my parents head on.  It was relentless.  So many people were trapped last night into today, to the point everyone is fully expecting a lot of dead people in cars to be discovered over the coming days.  Essential workers can't get in, an estimated 2/3 of emergency vehicles were stuck, and things have continued to be generally impassable and awful.  The northtowns cleared tonight, but I don't think it will be enough time to clear enough out for us to go tomorrow morning, which was already our Plan B.  With the storm warnings expiring Christmas morning we figured tomorrow would be doable, but now that's looking far less likely given the state of the roads and the amount of snow.  My parents probably got nearly triple what they were supposed to get, and the drifts are unreal.  I'm not sure we'll get in their driveway, let alone get through all of the roads.  There are a lot of major routes that I think will get cleared, and I feel like the city plows can get through most areas overnight, but the Thruway is still closed and part of it is still being impacted by the band in its new position.  So, time will likely be limited once it finally fades and I don't think things will end up working out. 

Normally we do Craig's family on Christmas Eve and my family on Christmas Day, but it became clear pretty quickly that Craig's family was going to be inaccessible since they were predicting three feet there.  So we figured, do Christmas as usual with my family and stay to Monday when Craig's family would likely be more accessible.  But now even that scenario looks unlikely so I'm guessing we might just need to make New Year's the new Christmas.  But I feel bad because I want to get to my parents to help them, just as much as I'd like to be there to do Christmas stuff.  I'm most annoyed because of the food.  Everything is closed so I can't get Christmas dinner fixings and Jacob can't eat Chinese food, so I'm not sure what we're going to do.  We had lobster tonight because it was the quickest thing I had access to for a nice dinner--and what holiday is much more lobster-worthy?--but it's become much more apparent how hard it might be to get anywhere tomorrow so now I'm annoyed because I'm not sure what we can eat that feels even a tiny bit special.  And even though the weather is fine here, all the grocery stores are closed for the holiday now.  Had I known earlier when we stopped at Wegmans after church today, I would have done things very differently.  

I'm trying to stay positive, but it's getting harder.  We did well with our COVID Christmas because it was different and I was hellbent on making it good since we were finally getting to find out what Christmas at home looked like.  But I never wanted to have to do it again, and here we are, so I'm feeling a bit bummed.  I've realized that part of what makes Christmas special is that once it really gets rolling, we get a bit of a magical break from our normal existence.  We are launched into two days of presents and family, we get a change of scenery, I leave behind the cleaning and dishes, and the boys have way less to argue about.  But now we're in the midst of likely two more days at home of the same old, same old--annoying video games and YouTube videos, bickering boys, Craig sneaking off to take naps (which annoys the boys and frustrates me in the middle of a long series of tasks that I can't escape), and all the stuff I need to be doing even though I was looking forward to a couple days away from it all.  And because the boys insisted on sticking to our tradition of Christmas Eve morning gift opening (which seemed wise enough if we were leaving early-ish on Christmas), now we're facing a very long day of more of the same stuff when it was supposed to be something special.  I'm sure we'll try to find some good movies and I'll figure out something to eat and hopefully whip up some snacks, but it definitely won't be the same and won't have even the same sort of magic that our COVID Christmas did.  As I mentioned in my last post, I've also realized through COVID how short time is, and now that we're going on three messed up Christmases, it's starting to add up.  It's basically 1/3 of Carter's coherent Christmases, and more than 1/5 of Jacob's.  They've grown and changed so much since our last "normal" one and now there's no end in sight again--another 364 days before we can attempt to get back to a normal holiday.    

Well, it's time to go to bed and attempt to wake up at a reasonable time to figure out what our Christmas will actually hold.  I'll do a whole separate post about the details of the holiday--what's already taken place and what's yet to happen--but in the meantime, have a Merry Christmas!

Christmas Check-In

Here we are, a week away from Christmas, and as usual I am muddling through.  We have a few less gifts to buy this year without Craig's extended family gathering and without an exchange on my side (assuming COVID lets it happen this year), so I'd say as a whole I'm doing okay on gift buying but I feel like gifts might be a little underwhelming this year.

Big kid Christmas is different.  I think the evolution out of the little kid stages is starting to make the holiday change for me.  We're definitely going much lighter on the toys this year, which is both a relief and a little depressing.  We don't need them taking up space, but Christmas feels so different without the toy catalogs and constant rehashing and revising of lists.  Carter mentions things once in a while still, but it's not like it once was.  I'm not even entirely sure he's still sold on Santa.  He mentions his desire to "trap" him each year, this year included, but I feel like the references have been far less so I wonder if he's wavering.  The magic has just seemed to fade a bit.  The Advent calendars sit unopened for days, and the overall excitement is just...less.

I think as a whole there are just far fewer reminders that the holiday is coming, and I think it's contributing to me not being in a full Christmas mood yet.  It feels like most days I'm just going through normal life, and almost forget it's Christmas aside from the tree and decorations.  We hadn't even had real snow until late this week, and even then it was just a dusting.  I haven't done much store shopping, we didn't get any Christmas cards until about a week ago, there aren't a lot of kid school or church events, and even work has been pretty much a non-event other than a box of thank you chocolates arriving to the office Wednesday and having a party on the schedule for this coming week.

I was going through a few Amazon boxes the other day and laughed a little because most of the kids' gifts are unrecognizable in their packaging.  The reactions while opening them could be a little weird.  Some are things I decided they needed or that they asked for in passing ages ago.  I still want to get a couple more things--I did a panic buy via Target pickup tonight and I think I have some running around to do tomorrow--but at least I did pick up some stocking stuffers and some of the other stuff that tends to hang out there at the end.  I mostly took care of my niece and nephew the other night, and crossed by parents off the other day right before I had to cancel my Prime trial.  Craig is mostly taking care of his family, so we'll just have a couple stragglers there.  Part of me feels a bit ahead but I know I'm still going to have some form of last-minute scramble.

Jacob finished school on Friday, but Carter still has a full week coming up.  Craig is only working a couple days this week, but I'd be working the whole week had I not taken off the 23rd.  I have a feeling that day is going to be CRAZY with last-minute stuff.  I realized the other day that I need to start wrapping this weekend because I don't want to sentence myself to endless weeknights of wrapping next week, and I never like to let it go down to the 23rd...though let's be real, it usually does.  It's hard to believe this is the last weekend before it all begins--I hate when Christmas is on a weekend because it seems so far away at the beginning of that week but then the week always flies!  Not to mention that it makes a full week of work just completely distracted because I always want to be getting ready for Christmas instead of working.  

I've really been struggling to do the "extra" stuff this year.  I haven't gotten around to figuring out a gingerbread house, and cookies seem nearly impossible.  I bought more peanut butter and some Hershey Kisses in good faith today, but we'll see.  I had said I was going to find a new, better recipe for Christmas Eve morning cinnamon rolls but I have struggled to do it because I'm worried they'll all use yeast and I dread getting that fancy when I can barely make my easy ones with the time I have (usually a frantic half-hour on the 23rd around 10pm).  I finally just put up some window clings the other day that had been sitting on my dining room chair since I put up my decorations.  Sometimes they're a bit of a pain to wrangle and I just never got back to them.  But I do love the ornament ones and finally did them on a night this week when I pounded through all sorts of long-undone tasks because the clutter was killing me.  I got snowflakes up on our hall mirror, too.  But I'm sad there's only a week left in the anticipatory stage of Christmas and one week in the Christmas afterglow before the decorations start to weigh on me with the stress of taking them down.

I think I've begun to feel a tinge of mourning for the last two COVID Christmases.  While they were both fine in their own way, I think I'm getting to the point where I realize that COVID may have permanently changed the face of our Christmases.  For one year and then two, we just had to keep telling ourselves, "Get through this Christmas, just sacrifice now and we should be able to get back to normal."  And now it's becoming apparent that those sacrifices may have been somewhat in vain--I mean, we could have spread sickness and lost someone, and we didn't--but traditions seem to have now changed and may never go back.  Our extended families have grown with marriages and babies, and on Craig's side it made a gathering too much, and on my side it's making things more crowded (although we should be just about done growing for now).  But I think all the COVID uncertainty killed the gift exchange we used to do, which makes Christmas prep easier but cost us that one last hurrah for gift receiving.  The family time is most important but that was always a fun one.  It's hard to believe Christmas 2019 was the last "normal" holiday we had.  Re-reading those posts, especially the New Year's one thinking ahead to a new decade, we had no idea what was coming just a few months later.  I look at 11-year-old Jacob, still a little kid, and poof...here we are three years later still feeling a bit "on pause" in many ways, but he's now this giant man-child.  And Carter went from a very little boy to a borderline big kid.  So much can change in three years, and I'm a little sad Christmas had to change with it.  I do think we made the best of it, but they feel a bit like lost years in retrospect since they were in the midst of this epic shift.  Big kid Christmases would have happened without it, but the last couple just didn't feel like the gradual progression I was expecting.

Well, one week left (less if you consider our home Christmas is a day early), so I guess we'll see how well my last-minute scramble goes.  I know in the end it always seems to work out, but big kid Christmas is different and I'm just not sure this time.  Hopefully the magic hits me soon, though.  I need it, in more ways that one.

All Basketball, All The Time

Since Jacob's school season really got rolling, I feel like everything has revolved around basketball.  That's fine, mind you, but it's been busy!  Two games per week plus practices on the other weekdays really does dominate everything, but as long as Jacob's happy, we'll make it work.  I feel like our dinner routine is totally shot, but hopefully I figure out how to make it work a little better in the coming weeks so we're not eating crazy late or always eating out.  We can try to eat early before late games, but Jacob can't, and road games will throw a whole new kink into things starting Friday, after lots of home games over the past couple weeks.

In between the first and second games, one of the players on the team got caught vaping, which was against school policy and the code of conduct they signed, so he got kicked off the team.  The coach also got sick, meaning the team would be coached by the old coach (currently the athletic director and an assistant coach), who Jacob really wanted to play for.  It was only for one game, but it was a good one.  Not only did Jacob get to play a lot, but he started!  Starting on varsity in 8th grade was one of his goals, and he did it.  And he went out and scored 12 points!  It was pretty awesome to see!

Running out for starting lineup announcements

The following weekend I saw that UR had a game, so once Craig was back in town after his first road trip, we went to a matinee on Sunday.  It was a pretty close game but UR pulled it off despite a last-minute push and a crazy last-second botched play by the other team.  It was fun to watch and Jacob really loves seeing college games so much more than pro games because it's so much more relatable for him.  He knows the NBA is not in his future, but college is a possibility, so he takes in as much as he can from these games.

The following Tuesday was Craig's 50th birthday.  I felt bad we couldn't do more but he was off to practice that evening, so we just did his gift that morning, cupcakes the following night (since Jacob had a game), and ordered dinner in from Outback on Thursday.  His gift was a new TV for our bedroom since the old one was really small and also a bit temperamental (the signal would cut out for no reason sometimes).

Wednesday's game was a bit quieter for Jacob but he still ended up with nine points.  He had another game on Friday, and started the game with four three-pointers in the first quarter!  At one point he had 12 of their first 15 points!  It took the other team about that long to realize they had to cover him, and then he ended up with the tallest guy on the court in his face most of the rest of the game.

He did manage to get one more three-pointer to tie his career single-game high, but his team struggled to keep up with the other team, who apparently haven't lost in over a year.  It was a great game but a tough loss.  Oh, and Jacob fouled out for the first time ever.

Not too often you see his number with that many fouls!  A couple were pretty questionable, but oh well!

His legs were super sore after that game, despite getting some work done on them Thursday and doing treatments on them at home, and he woke up overnight Friday into Saturday with leg cramps.  Poor kid.  I remember how much those stunk because I had them when I was pregnant with him!  We were a little nervous how he'd fare in Saturday's game, but we just hoped for the best.  

Did I mention Saturday's game was in Cleveland on the Cavaliers' court?  I probably downplayed it a bit if I did mention it because I was SO nervous we weren't going to make it.  Jacob's teammates have been going down to illness in waves, and after Wednesday's game he was convinced he was getting sick.  In the end it just seemed to be a little fleeting congestion and the aches from his legs, but we dosed him up on zinc and all seemed to go well.  Of course, given my nervousness I didn't pack or book a hotel until the last minute.  I took Friday afternoon off as a mental health break and ran a bunch of errands.  I did some quick packing and managed almost everything except the hotel, which I did Saturday morning just in case.  I was pretty psyched to get one close to downtown at a really good chain for about $150.  Our goal was to be ready by 9am so I could get gas and coffee, but Jacob was moving slow--as usual, but his legs didn't help matters--and I ended up getting gas without him and making coffee at home, but we still didn't leave until 9:48, which basically meant we'd have to eat lunch on the road rather than getting in more of a driving break for me.  We grabbed lunch in Erie and just stopped long enough to grab our food, use the bathroom, and add sauce to my chicken sandwich before heading back out.  As we were coming into Cleveland my car officially hit 100,000 miles, which was a pretty big milestone since that's always what I had hoped for from my Toyotas, and my old one never got the chance to get there after I totaled it.

We got to the arena with about 10-15 minutes to spare.  It looked completely different than I remembered, and sure enough, I looked back at pictures I took of it in 2007 when we went to a baseball game with Craig's family and they completely changed the look of the outside with a glass shell, at least on the one side.

When we made it inside the arena we met up with his team and settled in.  We had to watch a couple other teams play first, so I killed time taking in the arena surroundings.  It was a totally different setup than a lot of other arenas--steeper seats, different suite configurations, interesting club seat sections--and it looked smaller than I expected.  Turns out capacity is supposedly higher than Buffalo's arena, and it completely blows my mind because it looks so much smaller.  But the scoreboard screens along the sides were HUGE.

Our seats for the actual game ended up being in the front row of the tiny little three-row section just right of center in the picture below, between the pink and yellow signs.  

It was neat to see the championship banner, which was a reminder that this arena was once home to the legendary LeBron James. 

Jacob looked pretty good in warm-ups...

You can just see him taking a shot on the right

 

...but the game ended up being a bit of a struggle.  I could tell his legs were bothering him, and nearly every shot was short.  One of the other parents noticed that he might have been shooting from behind the NBA three-point line (which, admittedly, he can still make, but maybe not hurt?), rather than the green high school line.  So all of those things might have been conspiring against him.  He did get a layup, though, and his team won.

They also got to meet a couple players, Donovan Mitchell and Darius Garland, and get their picture taken with them.

Of course, I sort of missed this moment because right near the end of the game, I got a call from a Cleveland number and it happened to be our hotel, which as I mentioned I had just booked that morning.  They shared that the room type we picked (two queens) had been overbooked, which can happen with third-party sites as they don't always have updated counts.  It was annoying because at the time I booked it said they had eight left.  I guess not.  They said they called lots of other people and couldn't find anyone able to switch, so all they could offer was two adjacent (but not connected) king rooms, which obviously would not be ideal with one adult and two kids.  So I had to scramble and find a new hotel immediately (since we were literally minutes away from going there when I got the call).  As I was trying to do that, Jacob got on my case saying that things never go smoothly when I book travel stuff (all going back to that Ocean City hotel mess) and it always goes fine with Dad (debatable).  He got mad when I was passing by $200 rooms, or passed on a cheaper one with a $35 parking fee.  He was just berating me and I was losing my focus as a result, and then he called Craig and it was even more distracting.  Plus we were trying to figure out dinner and getting back to the arena in a short period of time, which complicated things even more.  Admittedly I do try to book on the cheaper side, but I also am balancing a lot of things--location, free breakfast (which is helpful to get a good one with Jacob's restrictions because Dunkin' doesn't work for us!), what the customer rating is (I try to only go 4+ on a 5 scale or 8+ on a 10 scale), bed type, and cost.  It's a lot to take in, let alone when rushed and stressed.  It was NOT a good hour or so from the time we left the arena.  But at least the views outside were cool?

I did manage to book one near the airport--not as good of a location as we had--but it fit the bill in all the other ways.  The problem was that it added time to go there and let Jacob clean up, and then we really needed to grab some dinner for him before the game since arena gluten-free options are never robust.  Add that to him being exhausted and moving at a sloth's pace and things were not going well.  But eventually he got ready, I preordered his food, we picked it up, he ate in the car, and eventually we got back downtown.  Where were promptly sat in awful traffic for 45 minutes.  UGH.

At least we got a good view of the ballpark while we waited...

It was horrible, because we didn't even really know where to park and everything was so slow, so one wrong turn (like when I didn't turn toward a ramp because I didn't know if it was for special passholders) turned into an even longer wait.  Time was ticking away, and it felt like an eternity when we finally pulled into a $30 ramp a couple blocks away...$10 more than the other ramp and a few more arguments later.  But beggars can't be choosers.  It was not our finest moment, but we got there and we got to our seats just as the anthem was starting.  Not bad all things considered, actually.  But man, that was frustrating.

Our initial view from the aisle near our seats

The game itself was interesting--very similar to our Raptors experiences in many ways, but always neat to see another team's take on things.  Game production was fun--less kitschy than hockey or baseball for sure, but always very high energy.  They had a drum group do an amazing take on the Super Mario theme, lots of hip-hop dancers, even an awesome rotating blaster sending balls high into the crowd.  Halftime featured dogs racing up and down the court (on mats, of course).

Carter was obsessed with these fire blasters on the scoreboard.  It was HOT!

Tip-off!

I even pulled out the real camera to try to zoom in a bit.

I guess in many ways it was comforting to see professionals miss a lot of makeable shots.  At one point the visiting team's three-point percentage was stuck in the teens, which was shocking, though they did bring it up to the upper 30s by the end of the game.  The Cavs led for most of it and won, despite a valiant comeback attempt near the end.  Overall it was an enjoyable time, but I just wish Jacob would have had more bonding opportunities with his teammates.  The way we were seated didn't really lend itself to that, but I think overall we had a good time and were happy we made it.

The arena had a ton of cool artwork and displays.  This one was made out of what appeared to be mylar balloons...

This one was balls representing (I think) local high school teams.

They had a section honoring the championship team, complete with the actual floor and the trophy.

Lots of diamonds on that ring!

The postgame show was broadcasting live out in the lobby.

More of the floor...we were shocked at how beat up it was!

They also had a section honoring the Lake Erie Monsters' AHL Calder Cup championship.  Not a bad ring for them!

I have no idea what that thing is on the left, but it was interesting and definitely made this lobby area stand out!  I know it's a sculpture by a famous artist, but not sure what it represents.

This was a mosaic tile artwork piece.  I love the colors. 

How cute is this giant bobblehead of the dog mascot?  And the kid next to him is pretty cute too!

And finally, one last photo op before the walk back to the car.

We ended up sitting in traffic in the parking ramp for a solid half hour or so, but that wasn't unexpected and probably could have been worse.  We were in far better moods by then and I think were a little relieved to finally be heading back to the hotel to get some rest. 

We slept in and I eventually needed to wake the boys up around 9am so we could get down for breakfast before it closed.  After all, we were at a Holiday Inn Express and my cinnamon rolls awaited!  We had a really good breakfast--all the hot stuff, plenty of stuff for Jacob, and Jacob and I both enjoyed coffee, too.  We had a really nice little meal with no bickering!  And the cinnamon rolls were awesome!

While I originally wanted to do something fun in Cleveland on Sunday, Jacob was super resistant.  I tried to convince him that if we did a quick trip to the Christmas Story House (only 11 minutes away), we could go downtown to Wahlburgers for lunch.  But he was not interested and was insistent we get on the road immediately so he could get home and do his homework.  Fair enough.  We checked out around 11am and got on the road.  We tuned into the Bills game, had a thwarted plan to eat at a Firehouse Subs in Erie that apparently no longer exists, and then opted to go the extra hour to Hamburg and grab lunch at Firehouse there.  As it was we got home at 4pm (just as the Bills won) so it was probably good we didn't stop anywhere.  It did put all sorts of ideas in my head for Carter's and my Cedar Point trip, though!

The trip was not without its ups and downs and I don't think Jacob enjoyed it even as much as I did in between the downs, but I'm glad we got to go.  It was definitely a cool experience, even if he might not appreciate it now.  He'd be happier to play in Buffalo's arena, honestly.  But hopefully someday.  

Unfortunately, Tuesday's game was equally frustrating.  He only ended up with four points and his coach decided to use him as the whipping boy for the night and blame him for a bunch of random stuff.  I think it's a combination of being young and not hitting his shots as consistently, so it just highlights anything else he's doing that might not be up to par.  Other guys are doing the same stuff but not getting the same flak, so we'll just need to see.  He was in a really bad mood for a day or so as a result, but hopefully he'll get back on track soon.  Two games before the holiday break, and then we'll be a third of the way through the season already.  Time definitely flies when you're having fun!

Age is Just a Number (but Numbers are Confusing)

Craig's 50th birthday was yesterday.  It's a little crazy to think about, if I'm being honest.  I mean, I knew when I married a guy six years older that it would be a little strange for him to hit milestones like these quite a bit ahead of me.  In fact, I remember back as far as college when my four-years-older brother was hitting certain ages and stages (back when 25 seemed so old, haha) that it was sort of mind-boggling to me how he could be at legit adult ages, and now I have a husband who's hitting milestones two years ahead of him!  Craig has never really seemed his age, and I think if he had more hair (sorry, Craig) he'd be fooling even more people.  

I realized the other day that his 30th was when we were engaged and his 40th was when I was pregnant with Carter, so we've definitely hit these milestone birthdays at very different stages of life.  That we even have a history that long sort of amazes me on a regular basis.  How are we hitting our 20th wedding anniversary in a little over six months?  That seems like something for old people.  But years ago I would have definitely said 50 is old, so...here we are.  At this point, especially as far as Craig is concerned, 50 is just a number...but lately certain things associated with numbers pertaining to age have blown my mind a little.

We just talked the other day about how Craig's dad was only in his early 50s when he had his first heart attack.  Luckily he has defied the odds over the years with a lot of health issues and is alive and kicking at 75.  His Uncle Mike was equally far too young in his early 50s when he passed eight years ago, and I had an uncle pass around that same age 25 years ago.  Those sorts of things hit a little too close to home now that the love of my life is entering that decade.  

I was talking with someone the other day about how our grandparents were all old even when they were young.  They always looked old.  Luckily the generation that followed has aged differently and seem far younger at the same ages, but now that it's our parents, aunts, and uncles at those ages, the younger appearance probably provides a false sense of security since we know that so many people who pass are well within the next 10 years or less of their current ages.  It's sort of crushing, so I'm trying to be conscious of savoring this time with that generation without letting the fear of the not-so-distant future bring me down. 

At the other end of the spectrum, I look at myself with two big kids and sort of marvel at how far we've come.  How did I get here already, only shopping in big kid and now even adult sections, slowly moving out of the toy-filled Christmases, and being so far removed from the baby era?  Working in an office is sort of interesting because you work with people of all ages--from young adults barely out of college to seasoned grandparents, and everything in between.  You seem like equals as colleagues but then realize that we're in such different places in our personal lives.  Over the time I've been in the working world, I've steadily moved from the young one to the married one, then from one kid to two, but suddenly I'm getting into the upper echelon of parenthood.  My cubicle mate is having a baby in a few months, and a new teammate has a new baby.  That is so long ago for me now--Carter will be 10 in two months--and I've suddenly become an experienced parent among our group.  I see myself with a legit teenager who towers over me and needs to shave periodically (!) and almost don't know how it happened.  I see pictures of toddler Carter and can't believe that cutie is now in 4th grade.  Time flies with kids, faster and faster the older we all get, but all of a sudden you come out from the kid exhaustion fog and you're firmly on the downslope of the minor child experience.  We're now far closer to sending them off into the world than we are to the beginning.  It's bizarre.

Sometimes I don't feel much different than the awkward teenager I once was, so seeing a 44-year-old face looking at me--complete with lines and wrinkles and developing jowls--catches me off-guard sometimes.  And I'm a lucky one--I do still look pretty young.  Just the other day a colleague couldn't believe my age.  We have worked in the same office for years but rarely have interacted, but due to a couple of random scenarios over the past couple weeks we've chatted more.  She was shocked when I mentioned having a 14-year-old and swore I was in my mid-30s.  After years of being annoyed I looked so young, it's finally paying dividends!

The other day I caught myself wondering what my 20-something self, or even my early-30s, young-mom self would think of mid-40s me.  I mean, I'm rocking the skinny jeans and leggings, sometimes dressing cuter and trendier than I did years ago.  I have long hair again and I sometimes even know what to do with it!  I feel like a far different person than the short-haired, trying-to-be-mature, dressing-my-age young mom I see in pictures from when Jacob was a toddler.  Maybe I'm just telling myself I'm looking young as a means of keeping my sanity as I age, but I legitimately think I'm doing pretty well.  Though I do find myself questioning at what point acting young gets awkward.  As much as I want to cheer for the 60-something women that dress sexy, I still look at it and think it's a little odd.  Good for them to pull it off, but something about it sometimes seems off to me.  But then I think, why am I being judgy if they're happy?  I guess I'm personally trying to find some happy medium between holding on to your youthful side but also embracing the stage of life you're in, in preparation for getting to that point myself and not wanting to embarrass myself.  No, you don't have to be the gray-haired grandma knitting in a corner, but maybe posting on IG before going clubbing with 20-year-olds in a mini-skirt is a bit much.  It feels like trying to hold on to a past that has passed you by, but I guess if it works for you and judgments don't bother you, go for it.  I know perspective changes as you get older and enter into those stages, where it feels normal to you even if others might look at you funny.  We probably all mostly feel younger than we thought we'd feel at a particular age, at least based on how older people at those ages seemed to us at the time. 

For example, I look at my mom whose face has always looked young and feel like her hair and clothes, especially through the 80s and 90s, aged her in a different way.  I feel like previous generations accepted certain looks as rites of passage as they aged.  Certain hairstyles or clothing styles were just "what you did" at a certain age.  My grandmas' poofy short-haired perms and mid-calf, belted dresses; my mom's 80s power suits with giant shoulder pads and of course the mom jeans; those seasonal screenprinted sweatshirts with faux golf shirt collars...things like that were just what you aged into.  Now it seems most of us are fighting tooth and nail to look as young and yet classic as possible.  I was staring down a family picture of us from when my mom was a couple years younger than I am now--I was probably around Jacob's age at the time--and admittedly, her face probably had even fewer lines and spots than I have now.  But her mature attire and short hair made her look older than I do now.  It's just weird--almost to the point I can't compare things at all because her style was so much different. Yet in her 20s she was super hip and sexy, with hot pants and curve-enhancing dresses, so she certainly evolved.  I did too, but sometimes I think I went through a purposeful grown-up phase and now I'm regressing a bit.  Ha.  At least I won't let myself shop in the juniors section anymore unless I'm looking for a specific wardrobe basic that they always seem to have, like a layering cami tank or leggings.

It's just so strange to me how my age feels different at any given moment.  Sometimes I feel younger and want to deny that I'm at the age where I need reading glasses and need to start really watching my body for anything to be amiss.  Some days I feel every bit of my age, whether it's unexpected soreness from a workout (or, you know, sleeping funny) or feeling like the wise parent who can dole out advice to the newbie.  It's amazing how it can vary each day, or even through parts of the day depending on the context.  I feel like I have experienced so much now after 4-1/2 decades that there's always something to look back on, relate to, or compare to, and some of those things transport me right back to younger stages in life, which only adds to my surprise when I once again realize how old I am and how much life I've lived.  

Life is passing by so quickly these days and I hate that my enjoyment of it has been interrupted by what feels like endless survival mode--be it the daily routines of work and household tasks, or worrying about what illness or frustration might show up next, or yet another evening spent yelling at the kids to stop torturing one another.  I know I've missed a lot of beauty in the little moments over the years because I was too darn tired or overwhelmed to see it, and it stinks because you can't get those moments back.  But I guess as life moves along, you realize which stages were shorter and sweeter.  You recall as many good memories as you can, but inevitably you regret not appreciating them more in the moment.  I'm not sure how to fix that but I guess I'm thankful I'm at least aware of it.  I'm trying so hard to savor what I can because it becomes clearer to me every day that time is passing quickly and we'll be moving on to new phases before we know it.  Craig's 50th doesn't really change anything in our day-to-day, but it's another vivid reminder of how quickly we're moving through these stages.  The last 20 years--full and fulfilling as they've been--have felt so fast, and I don't even want to think about where 20 more years leaves us.  It's overwhelming, so I'm trying to take things day-by-day, but if the past is any indication, it'll be here before we know it.  Yikes.

Before, During, and After

So once I got home from Binghamton, the goal was to make it through the short week and enjoy Thanksgiving to the fullest.  It was much harder than it should have been!  Three days doesn't seem like much, but I guess my brain was SO ready for a break that the week felt like an eternity!  Luckily we had a couple fun things on Tuesday to spice things up!  

During the afternoon, I was able to log into the live feed of my godson Mason's adoption finalization!  I was on a work meeting at the time so I was doing my best to keep an ear open on the other meeting while turning my camera off so they couldn't see my goofy faces and excessive smiling!  I didn't talk on the finalization one for fear of not hearing the other meeting, but it was so fun to be a part of it.  Mason's uncle was on the meeting as well, and both grandparents were in person.  It was cute to hear Mason talking in the background, and he had his baby dinosaurs (that I gave him!) with him.  I accidentally took a screen shot of the proceedings while I was trying to get my phone set up, and I'm glad I did because it was fun to capture the moment--everyone happened to be smiling at that moment, too!  I won't post it just in case there are privacy issues, but it was so great to finally get legal confirmation of what everyone knew was the right thing for over two years!  He was meant to be a part of that family, and now it's official.  And I am so honored that I was able to attend and especially to be a part of his life.  I'm just so happy for them all.

Tuesday night was Jacob's first varsity basketball scrimmage.  It was a series of five short games, but he ended up doing really well.  He had 13 points and should have had two more because he got called for a travel on a shot he made that definitely was not a travel--we watched the video repeatedly and we think there was just a hesitation (but no foot movement) that tricked the ref's eye.  It was great to see him out there and fit in at the varsity level just fine.

I ended up taking a half day Wednesday.  I was so beat that I headed to the basement couch with the DVD of one of my guilty-pleasure movies, Bed of Roses.  I just laid there, watched it, and relaxed, and it was definitely good for the soul!  Originally we were supposed to go to Buffalo that night for an annual (pre-COVID, at least) gathering to honor Craig's uncle who passed eight years ago, but that ended up not happening so we stayed home that night and went to Thanksgiving Eve church instead.  I spent part of the evening after that making a cookie cake for Craig.  His family wanted to sing to him on Thanksgiving in advance of his impending 50th birthday (since he has games every weekend, it'll be hard to do anything more), and somehow it turned into me making a cookie cake for him.  That was fine with me--luckily it's pretty easy.  I decorated it the next morning before we left.

Not my best work, but lettering never will be!

Thanksgiving was different this year with my parents being on vacation, but we had plenty of food and family to fill the day anyway.  I missed them, of course, but it was certainly the next best thing.  I wish I could say it was easier on the belly to just do one meal, but it was not!  We arrived in time for the Bills game and spent the afternoon snacking on charcuterie, fruit, and fried Buffalo chicken pierogies.  The game was close and very stressful, especially at the end--the Bills won on a last-second field goal--so that was exciting but definitely prompted the wine to come out!  We had a fabulous dinner with quite the crowd--Craig's parents, brother, his wife, their four kids, two significant others, our sister-in-law's parents, and her sister, her husband and their two kids.  Twenty people in total, stretching from the kitchen to the middle of the living room!  

In case you wondered what a table for 20 looks like!

I remarked to Craig's mom as we all settled in, "Remember when we all fit in the dining room?" and she chuckled.  Once upon a time, while it was tight, our core group ate in the dining room for a few years.  Nowadays it's almost always a crowd!  And I think there were three people that bowed out near the end, so it could have been even more.  So much food--two turkeys, two types of stuffing, potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, two types of biscuits, two types of cranberries, roasted veggies, corn, and many pies, plus the cookie cake.  It was insane, but all very good!  We sang "Happy Birthday" to Craig at the end.

Blurry, but you get the idea.

It took a while to digest, and admittedly after all the fun chatter all day, by about 8pm I was ready to simply collapse on the couch with my phone!  But eventually we got moving and arrived home around 10pm.  It was pretty much right to bed for everyone.

On Friday Craig had to go into work, and then to Canada later in the day and overnight.  I tried to work up the energy to undecorate from fall and try to get Christmas started.  It's always so hard because it's such a process.  Take down the fall stuff and pack that away.  Dust certain surfaces.  Move the toys to make a path to move the recliner, to then make room to move the big chair, which finally makes room for the tree.  I generally bring the tree up first, just to have something with lights on that can be festive while I'm working on the rest of the decorations.  Ornaments come later, but that's the beauty of a pre-lit tree!  I did add garland since I finally found (after two years) smaller gold garland that seemed like it would match the three strings I had from my grandma's house, and sure enough, it was almost a perfect match!  I also realized I bought another tree skirt last year for super cheap so we could enjoy the blue lights on our tree without it going all patriotic with the red tree skirt, so I put that down as well.  

I did manage to get up my little themed tree on Friday, too.  That one is pretty simple because I set aside the ornaments as I pack up the big tree the previous year.  All that are going into next year's theme get packed separately so it's pretty easy to just put up the tree (which used to seem like such a task, branch by branch, and seems so easy now), add some lights and garland, then pop the ornaments into place.  I think it's usually about 2-3 dozen.  Next year I finally get back into the theme that started it all--all angels, most of which are from my mom's annual gift to me.  Year 2 was all Peanuts ornaments, and Year 3 was sports.  This year I did all handmade or school-based ornaments.  It does not include fancy crafty handmade ones--admittedly my mom has made or bought a lot of those for me over the years--but rather ones I made as a kid, ones my kids have made over the years, or ones that originated from school (like the adorable gifts I got in Kindergarten and first grade from my teachers that included my school picture--a salt dough bear and a cute painted chalkboard--or the Oriental Trading-esque gingerbread man with Carter's head from 2nd grade).  There's a perler bead star I made, a salt crystal one we made at home as a science experiment a number of years back, some cinnamon applesauce ones from various sources, and even a couple that I think were just sweet homemade ones from a co-worker years ago as a random gift.  One of my sentimental favorites is from when my grandma did a craft day for the cousins and we made ornaments with her supplies.  Mine uses a tiny wooden crate, a little red cup filled with a sprig of fake evergreen and a couple berry picks, accented with some red tinsel ribbon and a lace flower on the outside of the crate.  That day was so much fun and that ornament makes me smile.  The decor is a good mix of me and the kids, and I did this theme--and to some degree all of the themes--because it made it easier to include every single ornament, including ones that might not make the cut on the main tree during normal years.  I love that little tree because I'm convinced it was my Charlie Brown Christmas tree miracle.  You know how the sad tree at the end of Charlie Brown Christmas turns into a beautiful tree?  I got that tree for about $20 in 2000, thinking it would be a scrawny mess compared to the tree I grew up with.  It looked just good enough in the store but I knew it would be a downgrade.  I got it just so I could have a tree in my first apartment.  I added white lights, red bows, and dollar store silver beaded garland, and it was perfect.  It turns out it's of higher quality than trees quadruple its cost nowadays--I've never seen a tree or deal like that since and sometimes wonder if it's cheapness was a Christmas miracle.  It was my tree for seven years after that before getting replaced with our previous pre-lit tree.  The top is maybe a little skinnier than would be ideal, but it has continued to fulfill its destiny as my theme tree!

Saturday was very slow going to get the rest of the decorations up.  I knew I needed to get in a workout that morning, which I did, but that meant I didn't start on decorations until after a late-ish lunch.  I worked through each bin slowly, trying to place the obvious stuff (stockings, ornaments for the ficus tree, lighted wreath and stair garland, our Peanuts and Playmobil setups) and setting the rest on the dining room table to be distributed as I started filling in blanks around the house.  I crapped out somewhere in the middle, feeling uninspired and tired, like nothing worked together.  We grabbed some takeout for dinner and over the course of the evening I started working through the rest.  I changed some things around from my usual setup, and I'm happy with everything except the mantel, but that's probably fine too...though if I see anything while shopping, I'll keep it in mind.  I love my little display of nativity scenes on a dining room shelf, and the glass trees I got last year work well on my buffet. 

L to R - Peanuts nativity ornaments, the ceramic one I painted last year, a Precious Moments one (in the front) that's like a tea set (it used to be my mom's), my grandma's nativity, a plate we received as a wedding gift, and a little Peanuts nativity that plays music.

The two shorter white trees are sparkly glass and used to be my grandma's.  The rest are Target.  But it works so well as a group!

By the end of Saturday, the only thing that wasn't done was the big tree.  That was my task for Sunday, and once again it took a while to get started, but I worked through it over the afternoon and evening before finishing up--hundreds of ornaments later.  I'm relieved to have everything done except my window clings, and now I can enjoy it for a month and a half!

Monday was a rough re-entry after the holiday.  I was extra tired and had a headache most of the day, and it was made worse by having to go into the office.  I felt just off enough that by the end of the day I was almost convinced I had been exposed to COVID because my symptoms seemed so similar to how I felt earlier in the year when I was exposed but never officially caught it.  But I woke up feeling much better on Tuesday.  Working from home probably helped.  It's amazing how much easier those days feel now.

On Tuesday night, Jacob had his first official varsity game.  It was a little emotional seeing him run out there for warmups getting cheered on by classmates and parents--the culmination of a lot of hard work.  It brought back memories of my time watching my cousins and brother play varsity more than 30 years ago.  We spent almost every Tuesday and Friday night at games (at least until I started skipping to watch hockey), and now it's my own kid out there.  I wish I had more perspective on how these games compare to those games, but it's pretty awesome and mind-blowing.  I'm excited for the season and hoping he gets a fair shot.  The first game was quite a back-and-forth affair.  Jacob played for a good portion of the second quarter but unfortunately missed both his shots and never got back in.  The coach didn't really manage his bench very well and never subbed anyone in the second half, which led to a bunch of tired players and a cold bench that wasn't ready to go into such a high tempo game.  It was a bummer, especially because they only lost by three.  It would have been nice to get someone out there that can hit some threes (ahem), but hopefully the trust will come.  Jacob's old coach from the spring, whose son also plays on this team, used to be an assistant coach but wasn't asked back this year.  I think he and Craig might be keeping each other sane, because they can commiserate about what the coach is missing and how Jacob might be helpful to the team.  Back at it Thursday.

Who is that big kid?

And now it's officially December and the real countdown to Christmas begins.  With an early Thanksgiving it feels like we had a bonus week before the "real deal" - starting our Advent Calendars and the rest of the full-on Christmas sprint.  I will regret not doing more during this bonus week, I'm sure.  I should have probably bought more gifts and done more research, but alas, I'm lucky I got done what I got done.  I'm not sure what's filled up the week so much but I know I've felt busy and tired by the end of the night!  As it was yesterday morning I hurriedly changed over my car CDs to my Christmas ones right before I left the house because I kept forgetting to do it in the evenings.  I didn't want to let much more time pass because it's hard enough to get a couple full rounds of my Christmas music in as it is.  

I've realized that two nights of basketball games per week is going to take some adjusting--for the best possible reason, mind you--but that I need to try to be a bit more productive on non-game nights to compensate.  This is not the best time of year for that kind of adjustment, but we'll see how it goes.  I'm trying to stay positive and chip away at my list when I can, but I know that luxury will pass quickly and panic will set in soon enough.  Part of me is excited and part of me is worried that I feel a little numb this year.  Certain things aren't hitting me the same way they usually do and the jury's still out on why.  Maybe it's all part of the same kind of funk I had a couple weeks ago, or maybe the pandemic just wore me down.  I guess we'll see.  Maybe I just need a little snow, a few more Christmas songs, and a little downtime in front of the tree.   Let's hope anyway...