Back to Boston, but Better

Although we had talked about all of us going to Boston for the second tournament there this season, we weren't really sure if Carter and I were going to be able go.  We figured he'd end up with a rescheduled baseball game that he wouldn't want to miss.  But his Thursday game happened despite the threat of rain and nothing else ended up scheduled for the weekend, so we made the last-minute decision to go.  That also meant we could drive my car rather than rent one, since Craig doesn't trust the van anymore.  We figured it might be a bit tight with all four of us, but I purposely got a car that felt roomy so we mostly just had to worry about cargo.

I took Friday off at the last minute because I had a ton of little things to accomplish around the house before we left, and I hadn't packed anything since our decision was so last-minute.  That morning, Craig was running Jacob around to treatment, Wegmans, and a haircut, I had a therapy appointment and a couple work things, we needed to eat lunch before we left, and I had to get gas en route to getting Carter from school.  The plan was to pick Carter up midday, and while that ended up a bit later than we wanted, it ended up being about when I figured it would happen with all that we had to accomplish.  We had to pack light and the back seat folks (Craig and Carter) had a lot of stuff with them, but all things considered, it wasn't bad.  The drive was rather rainy at times, and by the time we reached Springfield, MA, we were dodging a nasty thunderstorm as we ran into dinner.  We stopped there to go to UNO, as we've been missing it since our last one closed.  Ironically, it was across the parking lot from the Basketball Hall of Fame!  The service was super slow, but it was still worth it as we had all been missing their food.  The rain stopped by the time we left, and I caught this dusk view of the Hall of Fame.

And of course, time for a selfie with a happy, pizza-filled Carter!

In the end, we just had a couple bathroom stops in addition to dinner, and got to the hotel sometime after 10.  It was the same hotel we stayed at last time.  The good news was that I was familiar with it and it was a decent hotel, but the bad news was that it was still around an hour away from the basketball venues, even though we were at different ones this time.  Ugh.  On the bright side, the breakfast was way better than last time, particularly for Jacob.  They had yogurt and gluten-free bagels and muffins, none of which they had last time.  We were able to sleep in a bit on Saturday, thankfully, as Jacob's first game wasn't until 4:40.  But that meant breakfast ended up being a bit last minute since it ended at 10, and then we sort of had to rush to our fun activity of the day after that.

As I usually like to throw in some sort of fun activity on these trips when I can, since driving six hours for a few basketball games doesn't feel very exciting, I had the thought that we could spend a couple hours early in the day to go to a Fenway Park tour.  The Red Sox weren't home, so a tour was the best we could do.  Jacob wasn't convinced that we'd have time, but the alternative was pretty much sitting around the hotel room all day and eventually I convinced him it would work.  I didn't want to drive the hour back and forth twice, so we had to bring everything we'd need with us from the get-go--once we left the hotel, we were out for the the day.  

Because we slept in, we had to grab the noon tour instead of 11am, and of course Boston traffic is always awful, so we definitely cut it closer than I would have liked.  It was even worse when I misunderstood a direction from the GPS and that added even more time.  I was so worried we were going to miss our tour entirely.  Fortunately, we had psyched out parking as we drove and found a perfect lot right across the street.  We made it just in time.
 

It was pretty cool to come into such an old ballpark that has such a different feel from most parks I've been to.  The old beams and brick felt a lot more "real" than most of the retro modern ballparks we're used to.

Walking out into the seats was surreal.  When you've seen a stadium countless times on a screen--be it a game, highlights, or any number of movies--and finally get to be there, it's pretty unreal.  I was just in awe.

It had such a different feel than any other ballpark.  The dimensions are different and and the old structure with obstructed views behind support pillars stood out.  Thousands of blue 1930s-era seats almost transported you back to another time.  They were amazing to see--original aside from layers of paint, and rather tight and uncomfortable, but history nonetheless.  Tall people bang their knees because they're so packed in, and our tour guide said she felt a drop of sweat at a recent game and realized it wasn't hers. 

Red seats are newer ones, blue are the originals - but the perk of the blue seats is that you're covered!

I loved some of the retro ads and murals around the ballpark.

We sat in the seats for a history lesson and watched the season ticketholder batting practice event.  Someone hit the wall!

We had a nice close-up view of the Green Monster.

Then we got to go to the top of the Green Monster!  It was quite the view up there.  In case you wondered, this is what the seating looked like.  They had a few tiers of it.

The view from the front row was pretty outstanding.

We got more history, including the names of the foul poles (pictured below is the Fisk pole) and the light tower that Ted, the raunchy teddy bear movie character, fell from.  Glad to get this nice shot of my boys!
 

We also got to see the rooftop garden that grows a bunch of food used in the stadium.  It was huge and thriving!

The view from the highest point in the stadium was impressive.  I'd gladly sit up there, although Craig is typically anti-upper deck (one too many hot, sunny game days (plus one annoying Toronto experience), I think).

The upper deck was pretty small compared to most stadiums, but the press box was actually pretty big.

This was the view from the movie "Moneyball" when Brad Pitt's character was interviewing with the Red Sox.

That was only the second tier.  They literally blew a hole in the ceiling to build a fourth tier when they had a lot of media around for their World Series runs.

We walked to the Samuel Adams deck in the outfield, and Carter struck a pose with Sam.

We learned about the red seat, marking the longest home run ever hit in the stadium--over 500 feet by Ted Williams.

By this point it was getting pretty drizzly, but I had to make the most of the view!

The tour ended in a mini-museum with all sorts of history.  This gold glove was pretty cool.

I was mildly obsessed with this mini model of the stadium.  

The very last spot on the tour was a store.  I convinced the boys to not buy anything since we don't actually like the Red Sox, but we did get a Fenway magnet.  When we walked out of the store, it was seriously POURING.  Ugh.  We initially ran to the car to consider our lunch options and realized there was a Wahlburgers literally around the corner.  It would be a wet walk, but at least we wouldn't have to pay to park again and we could cross another must-eat off our list.  I caught a couple cool pics en route despite getting drenched.

It was a super wet walk to the restaurant, indeed.  We only had one umbrella and I had a raincoat, but we all ended up pretty wet.  

This was probably a Pride Month thing, but I was sort of obsessed with these flowers outside the restaurant.  So gorgeous.

Lunch was delicious as usual.  We all get the same things every time and yet it never gets old.  We dried off a little bit while we ate, but we knew it would be a wet walk back.  I grabbed this pic of Carter as the fourth Wahlburg brother on our way out.

This retro parking lot sign on the walk was so cool.  

The famous Citgo sign was visible on our walk, too.

I almost missed this classic view because it was raining so hard when we went to lunch.  I'm glad I caught it on the way back!

Oh, and we were totally those suckers because they took our picture when we got into the stadium, and while I had no intention of buying it, it actually ended up being a really good picture of us, and good family pictures are few and far between.  So, I present to you our somewhat pricey (but also priceless) Fenway family picture.

We hit more traffic on our way out of the city, plus the rain for extra fun.  I could never live there.  Not only is traffic awful and it takes forever to get anywhere, but drivers are super aggressive and even downright rude.  They're not good about taking turns at merges and they dart in and out like crazy.  I would have to take public transit if I lived there because driving is not it!

The basketball venue for the day was at a private school, Thayer Academy.  Tuition is $66K and while I didn't initially recognize many names on their website, I did finally find a handful of well-known hockey players that came out of there.  The building had a couple hockey rinks in it (maybe I should have checked them out given their alumni!), and the basketball was taking place in the tennis court area.  That should have been our first clue this might not be the best situation, but I think the real first clue was that there was nearly no seating--just a handful of folding chairs at each of the four courts.  It then became apparent very quickly that the floors were super slippery.  It's hard to know if it was just the texture and/or the dust, or whether it was somehow being enhanced by the super high humidity.  But it was awful and downright dangerous.  No one could keep their footing when stopping, changing direction, or shooting.  There were so many slips that ruined plays and a few downright ugly spills.  Jacob didn't score at all in the first game, which was a pretty rough loss, and he was absolutely beside himself after the game.  Considering his usual anxiety over injuries, this sent it into a new orbit.  

The worst court EVER

We had a very short amount of time to run out and grab food in between games, and I'm a little surprised we even got him to go back. The big boys grabbed Chipotle and Carter and I got Jersey Mike's a couple doors down in the same plaza (just mini subs since we hadn't eaten lunch that long ago).  We headed back for the second game, and were treated to the most amazing ending of a game down the way while we waited.  One team took a one-point lead on a second-to-last-second foul shot, and when the other team inbounded the ball for the literal last second, a player chucked up a 3/4 court shot and it went in!  It was incredible!  We heard later that the other team was protesting it because they had video evidence of the clock saying zero and the ball still being in the player's hands, but I swear it looked good...and clearly we all thought so.  Who knows?

Everyone we encountered was complaining about the courts, from parents to players to refs.  It was so dangerous.  And it sounds like it's a known issue to locals because one parent said how much he hates it there like he's been there before.  I can't imagine how many complaints they got.  Hopefully they never use that venue again, but I doubt it.  Jacob will never go there again, for sure.  He'd rather sit out than ever play on a floor like that.  His career is not worth one weekend.  He did finally hit three three-pointers in the second game, a big win.  It's so nice to see the team when it plays unselfishly and passes the ball around.  Everyone scored, which was cool.  

By the time the game was over, we didn't have many options to get Jacob fed, so we just grabbed him takeout at a nearby 110 Grill.  I was tempted to get a snack while we were out, but it was late enough that I figured I'd survive without it--although I did end up eating a bunch of Jacob's leftover fries.  Unfortunately, it ended up being a rather late night before we all settled back down, and then neither Jacob nor I slept well, in part because Craig was snoring quite a bit.  Then we had to get up early because we had to be packed up and on the road by a little after 8am.  That did not go particularly well with a tired Jacob, but we managed.  But between last-minute bathroom use, having to stop a couple minutes into the drive to reclose the trunk, and a lot of back roads, we ended up pretty late.  Thankfully, the coach was later...haha.

The venue for Sunday was at a local public high school, and it was amazing.  It was a double gym with a tenth-of-a-mile walking track up above.  And, most importantly, a real wood floor.  Luckily we were on the half with bleachers.  I took a couple pictures while getting in a half-mile walk before the game.

Everyone seemed much more comfortable in this game, and we once again dominated.  Jacob ended up with 10 points.  He was in such better spirits after this one.  

Also, they really hit it just right--they won two out of three games, which is respectable, but because the team they lost to beat everyone by a bunch, they couldn't really make up any ground in the point differential and didn't make it to the playoffs...which was honestly just fine with us because it would have made for a very late departure.  So keep your dignity but also get out at a reasonable time--the goal of every travel parent, I think.

The plan for lunch was to get Carter and me Raising Cane's, and I wanted to drive around Harvard a bit.  I managed to find Jacob a gluten-free cafe near the MIT campus, however, he poo-poohed all the food options I mentioned (even though one was close to what he really wanted) and originally didn't want to go at all, but there weren't a lot of options so he relented.  But when we got there he flaked...the line was too long, he didn't want sugar, etc.  So back in the car we went and he'd get Jersey Mike's elsewhere.  The closest Cane's was on the Boston University campus, not far away.  There sadly wasn't a drive-thru, which was another hiccup, but we luckily snagged a spot half a block away.  We were right in front of the BU hockey arena, too.

It was also pretty much next door to Nickerson Field, which is their football stadium.  The Boston Cannons of the old Major League Lacrosse used to play there, and in fact the only other time I was in downtown Boston was when the Rochester Rattlers were in the MLL championship weekend and played there.  That was a game where Craig had to kill at least an hour on air during a thunderstorm delay.  The stadium is old but it's sort of cool--sunken with ivy walls and a few dorms overlooking it.  We managed to drive by a spot while trying to park where you could see in, which brought back some memories.  

Retro picture from the Rattlers game

 

Unfortunately, the closest Jersey Mike's was on the other side of Harvard.  That meant it made more sense to try to accomplish the Harvard portion of the drive before going there, which wasn't ideal--although, to be fair, I didn't eat my food until after either.  I expected Harvard to be a quick-ish thing, but....I was wrong.  Very, very wrong.  There was so much traffic, plus closed roads for some sort of event, and it was just gridlock.  There also wasn't a real clear entrance or anything, at least not that we saw.  We did see their stadium, which looks like something out of the Soviet era...lots of concrete!

As we drove around a bit, there were definitely some Ivy League-style buildings and gates.

Seeing the Kennedy name in a couple places felt pretty monumental, too.  But the traffic was so bad that it was hard to enjoy anything or really see much.  Eventually we gave up and headed to Jersey Mike's...but that also was a bit of a debacle.  It ended up being in a little walkable outdoor shopping area, but there was so little easy parking and it was also very crowded.  I ended up finding a 15 minute spot and the guys ran to get their food while Carter and I ate.  The Cane's was delicious as usual, even though it wasn't super hot by the time I ate it.  When they came back Jacob wanted to go to the Nike store there, but I refused because I didn't want to have to find parking near there.  By that point I was so agitated by the traffic and how our timing got screwed up that I just wanted to get back on the road.  We'd actually talked about stopping by the Basketball Hall of Fame on our way back, but after how long the Harvard debacle and the food situation ended up, that wasn't going to work either.  I did find another Nike store on our route out, but it turned out that it was at a large mall.  It was a hard mall to get your bearings at because the anchors were sort of tucked away and there were parking garages everywhere.  That made me want to give up, too.  But we finally did park and after some wandering, we figured it out.  Oddly, this mall was the home of one of the few closed Wegmans locations ever.  Why they thought it would be a good fit, I'm not sure, because I would never want to have to park in a ramp for my twice-weekly shopping.  Inside you could see the remnants of the top floor of the store.  It was sort of eerie to see what I think was a pizza oven from the prepared foods area and some tell-tale Wegmans imagery here and there.  Wegmans is such a staple here and to see the abandoned remnants of one was just weird.

The mall was pretty busy and rather nice, but it turned out the Nike store was super small and mostly for women.  Oops.  I tried.  I took this picture of the mall art while taking a few deep breaths after all of this frustration.

That prior hour or so unfortunately set the tone for the rest of the trip.  Jacob was annoyed about the Nike store and mad we couldn't do the Hall of Fame.  I was tired from the traffic and trying to problem solve.  Our plans just felt hijacked, and I felt like I was getting blamed for all of it, which was frustrating because I tried hard to make things work.  It hurt because I was the main one researching things and therefore the main one making decisions, and when I miscalculated, I got all the grief--even though there were other people who were fully capable of researching as well.  The difference in my mind, though, is that it's one thing to Google a place, but it's another to take into consideration where it is, how much time it adds to our route, whether that will impact other parts of the trip, how much something might cost, etc.--and usually I'm the only one thinking more deeply about all of that.  It's back to that whole mental labor thing, and sometimes I just want some help that actually has some depth of thought put into it.  A few times on this trip I was driving (as I did for all but the last hour and a half) and someone would ask me a question about food options or how long something would take, and it's like, I'm driving and you have a phone, so look it up!  I just feel like I get a lot of grief for how I cook our dinners, what foods I choose, how certain plans play out, being frustrated about the state of our house, etc., but no one else wants to share responsibility for things--so not only am I the only one putting myself out there with a decision that will later be critiqued, but I'm also looked at as the killjoy a lot of the time because I try to be reasonable and restrained and have it in my mind what might work best.  But I'm also tired and stretched in a lot of different directions and sometimes I can't put the amount of thought or work into all that's expected of me, so I fall short.  Certain parts of this trip, and particularly this day, brought out a lot of those frustrations.  I'm so tired of getting grief all the time despite trying so hard to make all the things work.  So, the way home was a bit subdued, although we still managed some decent conversation.

We stopped back in Springfield so Jacob could get UNO again, and then we stopped maybe an hour over the New York border for some Burger King for the rest of us.  Of course we hit the rest area at the exact wrong time and got stuck in line with a couple busloads of teenagers, but admittedly the break was probably good.  By this point it was also trying to rain again...ugh.  We'd avoided it for most of the day (although wildfire smoke made it seem pretty blah), but it hit for the last few hours.  We stopped for gas just past Syracuse, and I finally passed off the wheel to Craig for the rest of the trip home.  The back seat was pretty comfortable, actually!  It was a relief to get home just after 10pm.  We quickly unpacked and headed to bed, but not soon enough.  Monday was rough all around!  But I was definitely grateful for some fun memories and an overall solid trip.

So, here we are--Jacob has two days left of school plus a couple exams, and two weeks from now Carter will be done with school and all prepped for his colonoscopy.  I can't believe summer is upon us (but the weather, while better, is still confused as it's going to be in the low 60s for a couple days coming up).  Father's Day is imminent, Jacob's birthday is next week, and our anniversary isn't far behind that.  And yeah, it'll probably be the first day of school like, tomorrow, so there's that.  Oh, and today marks one year since Jacob's bizarre set of health issues began, starting with random high blood pressure, which means the anniversary of our Dominican trip isn't far behind.  What a weird freaking year.  So don't mind me, I'll just be over here watching my digital photo frame on repeat and being super weirded out by the passage of time and all I have to be grateful for.

News and Notes, How is it June?! Edition

I can't believe it's June.  The kids' school years are winding down, but I don't quite know how we got from figuring out Carter's locker to the year-end awards ceremony so quickly.  The weather is finally looking a little better, so maybe it'll feel a little more like summer in that way, because it definitely hasn't up until now.  I'm savoring what little alone time I have before everyone is home all day every day when I'm working from home.  I'm ready to not be packing lunches every morning and get a little extra sleep, but I'm not sure I'm ready for the summer chaos.

Carter will be kicking off the summer with a colonoscopy, poor kid.  It's been a battle to get it scheduled sooner rather than later (yeah, their suggestion of August was NOT happening), but he'll be spending his first full day off in three weeks on a diet of liquids and laxatives.  It will be a relief to get some answers (nervous as it makes me) and hopefully get him on a path to healing.  He seems stable for the moment, but I hate that this is his existence right now.  He has has also been dealing with more mouth weirdness--a little growth by his new molar, random pains--but at least we got the all-clear from the dentist this morning that it's all just from how the molars are coming in and pushing on the gum tissue.  One less thing to worry about, at least.

Fortunately, steroids seem to be helping my GI issues.  I'm still not 100% "normal", but things have definitely been better--less volatile, for sure, and a lot closer to the few weeks I had after the Zoloft took effect when my nervous pooping eased and I felt almost human again.  I could do without random, audible rumbling once a day, but the results are usually far less intense than they were the past few months.  At the risk of TMI, yesterday I had my first BM in ages that was solid enough to hurt a tiny bit (not in a bad way, just in a harder to get out than usual way), and it was so strange to realize I wasn't sure when that last happened.  It's been a long road, apparently.  We'll see in another 10 weeks or so whether all this is for nothing, but at least the only side effect from the steroids seems to be that I'm a bit more hungry than usual.  Obviously trying to be careful with that!

Jacob is doing a bit better, as well.  We're still not entirely sure what caused his fatigue, but it improved enough that he could practice one of the days this past weekend.  He did end up with a nasty cold over the last couple weeks that's starting to ease.  He's still a little congested, but he seems more lively than he did for the few weeks prior.  We're still keeping a close eye on him (and will need to consider if we need that cardiology appointment at the end of the summer), but it's encouraging.  He's still nearly impossible to wake up in the mornings, but thankfully he's down to about six days left of regular school, so the end is in sight.

Hitting June has been a bit sobering because I know what June brought last year and it's a little overwhelming to realize how long we've been stuck in this ongoing set of health crises.  It feels a bit like a lost year at this point, a year that was spent in nearly perpetual worry for one thing or another.  Fortunately the last third was done with far less uncontrolled anxiety, but it's still been an incredibly long and stressful run--and that's just me and my brain, let alone my kids who have had numerous actual health issues to deal with.  It's been a LOT.  My therapist has suggested getting in a support group for parents of chronically ill kids, and it's probably not a bad idea as it would be great to learn coping mechanisms or get a consensus on how often mental health days should happen, or to just find some people who get it.  Even if our issues aren't super serious, there are similarities, and I don't really have anyone to vent to who gets it.  Craig and I process this stuff differently, and it would probably be good to have an outside perspective anyway.  But I just can't believe we've been in this mess for the better part of a year.  We need a break.

I also can't believe it's been almost a year since the Dominican trip.  I spent almost eight months agonizing over it, and it was over so quickly...only to be thrown into more crazy stuff (including COVID) almost as soon as we got back.  And now here we are a year later already.  I was looking at pictures the other day and parts of it seem like a dream.  The beautiful views and the blissful little break from the insanity of mom life were so amazing, and I wish I could just plop myself back into it for a bit.  It was a surreal experience and I'm a little sad it's so far in the rear view mirror now (and that it's super cost-prohibitive to do ourselves).  Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened...right?

Over last weekend (which was downright cold but thankfully allowed for some much-needed hermit-style laziness), I randomly decided to pull out my old digital picture frame and attempt to gather some pictures to rotate on it.  Somehow I wove my way through the last 18 years of digital photos (and scans back to our wedding), and wow, has it been a journey.  It hasn't been an elaborate deep dive--I've mostly just scanned through the thumbnails quickly to pick any known favorites and an assortment of good family memories that the kids might like seeing on rotation when I turn it on.  Since it's been a quick overview, I'm not even sure I got the best versions of some photos, but it's a tiny frame (I forgot just how little until I pulled it out) so maybe it won't matter.  I just think it might be fun to unearth some of the classics and remember what a rich life we've lived.  And if I really like it, maybe I'll invest in a bigger one.  Ones that aren't connected to an app have to be cheap now, right?  (Actually, just checked--not as cheap as I thought!  Oh well.)  I finally got to watch them for a bit tonight, and it was pretty amazing.  I could sit for hours and relive some of my favorite moments and views.  There's so much more I want to get out of life, but yeah, I'm a lucky girl. 

But suffice it to say it was an emotional process.  Going back through photos of some tougher times, like the worst of Jacob's issues, was a lot to process.  I noticed a shift in photos being less reliably posed or smiley the further back I went because Jacob was stubborn and uncooperative for many of those years (and then we had a squirmy toddler, too).  A lot of that frustration gets filtered out of our memories over time, but seeing a lot of those photos for the first time in a while brought things rushing back.  Remembering the tough moments that accompanied even the good photos was a little sad, but it also reminded me of how far we've come.  Things are still hard, but in a different way.  Ultimately we now have two genuinely good kids who are mostly cooperative, but they definitely have a few problems to manage.  But as a whole, I think we have a lot more truly happy memories now, which made me realize how hard it was to enjoy a lot of those older moments.  Not that I didn't--parenthood has been rewarding and definitely an adventure full of memories--but it saddened me that a lot of those memories were more bittersweet than just sweet.  I miss my babies in so many ways, but there's a heaviness when I look back at those times, too.  I try to remember the joy that those cute photos brought and know that there were happy moments behind them, but man I wish a lot of that could have felt easier.

I still find the passage of time so hard to fathom right now.  When I realize I've been working almost 25 years, that my oldest child is almost 17 and going through the same phases of life that I still remember so vividly, that my parents are my grandparents' ages...none of it seems to compute.  When my parents were my age they had one kid out of college and another in.  They were already mostly empty nesters and a few years into their cruise habit.  That all seems pretty far away still for us, if possible at all.  I don't mind the phase of life we're in--I'm certainly not ready for my kids to be grown--but realizing you have sort of turned into your parents at an age where you vividly remember them is super weird.  And it just sort of happened out of the blue, where hearing spans of time like the length of my marriage or career, or the time since my graduations, make me verifiably old.  All of a sudden I came out of the kid haze and realized time has absolutely flown in crazy ways.  It just doesn't seem possible most days, and this little photo project drove that home even more.

Otherwise, we're easing into summer as much as we can.  My plants are coming along, seeds are sprouting, and the annual fungus attack has hit a bit early thanks to a rainy May.  I've already had to rescue a couple plants (or try, at least).  I'm still waiting for one of my transplanted hostas to look perkier (but it's not dead, either).  My front yard may look as decent and polished as ever, despite the fungus-ridden bloody cranesbill that's no longer green but still full of fuchsia flowers.  I am in love with my $8.99 Aldi hanging baskets - hot pink New Guinea impatiens for the win!  I'm waiting for seeds to sprout (flower and pumpkin), waiting for my garden to do more, and on the hunt for a new packet of columbine seeds since animals seem to have decimated mine this year.  My hydrangea has filled out and my rhodoendrons are glorious as usual.  I still have work to do on mulching, Craig is slowly opening the pool, and there's still a million projects to do, but we're getting there.  Our backyard groundhog provides some entertainment, and the other night we had a fox lounging in the front yard.  Oh, and my bike is ready to go--I even got my first ride in last night at the end of a 90-degree day.

Baseball is well underway, although the weather has been a challenge all along.  The other night was the first legitimately warm game out of six we've played.  We have a few canceled games that I hope they reschedule.  Carter is doing really well!  He's consistently making contact with the ball and getting hits, maybe more than anyone else on his team.  He's even been pitching a bunch this year and may be one of the top 2-3 pitchers on the team.  That was surprising, for sure, but thank goodness because they need whatever pitching they can get.  They're 3-4 right now, which is partly due to some underattended games and a couple rounds of bad luck/questionable play.  For being the second-to-last level of Little League I'm sort of shocked at how mediocre it still is, but we have a few inexperienced kids, so I guess it's to be considered.  They put in a heck of an effort against a travel team Tuesday and only lost on one tough play after their good catcher got hurt, and tonight's rematch was an absolute gong show, featuring a terrible ump, a drunk opposing parent who got kicked out (far too late, after she'd come over to our dugout and thrown a $100 bill at our coach), a near-fight between the coaches, and some ridiculously messed up plays.  But Carter is really holding his own, which isn't bad considering he's really only been at this a year and isn't exactly at peak strength right now.  He really wants to play modified next year and hopes to play travel at some point, but I'm not sure if we can pull off baseball and basketball next year at the same time, especially with Craig's typical spring schedule--but the following year is a definite possibility.  We'll see, but I'm so proud of him.  Now if we could just figure out his issues and get him gaining some weight to add some power to that hit!

So, it looks like it will be a full family trip back to Boston this weekend.  I could use the time at home, but a change of scenery won't be a bad thing either.  More memories for the frame, perhaps?  

A Little of Everything

Ah, Memorial Day Weekend.  It's always a holiday that I struggle with balancing productivity and relaxation.  Inevitably the weather is improving, which means that I need to do a lot of things outside.  I also may be switching over indoor decor and needing to catch up on house cleaning.  But I also need to relax and refresh.  Then I see people's social media showing them picnicking with friends and family and wish I was doing that, too.  I want to do all the things.  Finding a balance is tough.

All things considered I think I did pretty well with this one, even if I still feel a little disappointed or unproductive.  But rest assured, I was productive.  Friday night I worked on changing over decor from my post-Easter/spring decor to early summer/patriotic.  I tried to change it up so it took longer than would have been ideal, but I like the results.

Oh, and before I forget, a quick GI update.  Carter had his appointment on Wednesday and we pretty much just confirmed he's going to need a colonoscopy.  We spent a good amount of time talking to the doctor and it looks pretty much like he has some sort of IBD, but the doctor was happy with the MRI results.  I have to call tomorrow to see when they can schedule him.  The one doctor is scheduling into July and admitted that we have to get him in sooner than that, but I'm worried about how long we might have to wait.  He had another bloody poop Thursday night and I ended up calling the emergency line to see if they felt he should go into the ER.  The doctor had previously said that if things got worse (either the hemoglobin or the blood) that we should consider it, but the doctor on call didn't seem concerned, nor did his doctor when I messaged the next day.  So, we wait.  As for me, I had my appointment on Friday morning and they agreed with my PCP that it may in fact be the Zoloft causing my issues.  They put me on steroids for a few months to see if they can get it under control.  It seems to be working, but the true test will be going back off it.  If it resumes, then I might want to consider trying another anxiety med.  Or, I guess I could take one Imodium daily...who knew?  So we'll see.  I've had this recurring discomfort in my upper abdomen that's worrying me a bit, but that could be reflux or intestinal stuff, too.  Sigh.

And on the Jacob front, after his doctor visit, he started to freak out about mono so we requested he get tested just so he felt more comfortable working out and not risking spleen issues.  Everything came back negative, but in true Jacob fashion, that wasn't good enough.  He started feeling a little sick this weekend and has decided his symptoms match up with mono even more now because he has a sore throat and had some chills.  He's insisting that tests won't come up positive until symptoms actually appear.  Never mind that he thought the fatigue was a symptom and now it can't possibly be one.  But also, Carter is getting over a nearly-two-week cold and Craig and I have both been a little stuffy and had drainage down our throats.  So depending on the moment it's either definitely mono or I gave him something.  Ugh.  If it gets worse we'll possibly test again, but he doesn't seem tired enough to me for it to be mono.  I guess we'll wait and see who's right.

Anyway...Saturday started lazy--right there with the weather which had been cold and rainy most of the week.  Despite that, the boys wanted to go hit balls since Carter's practice was canceled (weather would have been cold but doable, but the fields were a mess).  I asked if he wanted to go with the art gallery with me, and he said he might, so I held off going while they were hitting and did some grocery shopping instead at Tops, Aldi, and Wegmans, where I picked up my new steroid.  Once the boys got home, Carter and I headed out.  

I've been trying to get to the MAG for months, but really for the past few weeks.  There's an exhibit that was ending this weekend, and I also wanted to see the revamped modern art hallway because my first favorite work was finally back on exhibit after 10 years!  The first time I went to the MAG, during my unemployment and in the midst of the interview process for my current job, I was amazed by this piece of art that looks like American Gothic but is giant, upside down, and made out of hundreds of spools of thread.  They act like pixels and when you view it through a glass orb, you can see the painting as it would appear.  It's really cool.  It disappeared sometime after I got hired and I never saw it again.  I had mentioned it on social media not long ago when the MAG posed a question about pieces we'd like to see from the archives, and they basically told me to stay tuned!  Sure enough, a recent video confirmed it was back on exhibit.

It was still trying to sprinkle when Carter and I got there, but it was starting to get brighter.  We had to park on the far side because it was free admission day, but the walk was nice.  I love this canopy of trees.  They're very twisty underneath.

I was also excited to see this hallway that is painted differently periodically.  I like the look of this one--it's fun and completely changes the space.

Sure enough, the revamped modern section had some cool changes.  I always like when new stuff catches my fancy, and this one definitely did.

And lookee here!  A Chihuly!  I had always seen that MAG was listed as having a Chihuly, but I had never seen one there.  Apparently this is it!  So pretty!

And at long last, the American Gothic did not disappoint.  It's such a cool piece.

The special exhibit I wanted to see was from an artist named Alma Thomas.  I've honestly never heard of her, but there were even a couple children's books about her in the gallery.  Her works were a bit one-note (they mostly looked a little like she was an expert sponge painter), but the colors on some of them were amazing.

I really did enjoy the colors, though, and was glad I got to see it.

Another gallery had some more recent acquisitions.  This glass was from the 1700s.  It's such a gorgeous, dainty pattern.

This mirrored piece next to it made for a fun selfie opportunity.

This one cracked me up.  At first I thought it was some poop emojis come to life, but no, these were mountain mamas, complete with the body shape!

I loved this piece of glass, too.

They had some different Wendell Castle pieces out.  A couple of his have been forever favorites that have been on exhibit for years, but it was nice to see some different ones.  One of my favorite ever exhibits was one of his furniture pieces, which a couple of these hearkened to.  

We were also pleasantly surprised that the "boot guy" was back, the big painting where the boot follows you as you move past the painting.  And as I said, I love seeing new pieces (or at least pieces I never noticed before).  This one struck me this time--I loved the bright colors and all the detail.

This one also tickled me a bit because it was titled "The Year it Snowed Early in Kansas".  It was a sweet little painting with fall colors on a snowy landscape.  Simple but endearing.

It was a quick visit and Carter made me a little nuts because he was mocking the meaning of some of the art (you know, making up goofy interpretations), so that was probably a good thing, but it was a fun little outing.  We did choose-your-own dinner that night, and called it a day.

Sunday started out with being too late for church, so we stayed home and watched it instead.  I was tired after being up with some GI issues overnight (I assume it was unrelated to my issues or the meds, but I guess I'm not sure), so I took a nap until lunch time.  Sunday was supposed to be another iffy day, but thankfully the rain missed us that day and once the sun came out in the early afternoon it got warm enough to get out and do some yard work.  I put out my shepherd's hooks and hanging plants, pulled about a million weeds from my garden, put down the soil, planted my plants (six peppers (new this year!), a tomato (both of those were bought; the rest were from seeds), some snap peas, a few cucumbers, a zucchini or two, some lettuce, and some beans.  Other than the peas I only had a couple decent starters from my seeds.  Maybe they're too old or maybe it was just too darn cold for the last week.  But I hope now that they're in the ground they'll do better.  Ah, the joy of a clean garden early in the year before weeds and insanity take over.

I also decided to use my starter tray to plant some pumpkin seeds, and when the lettuce bolts and the peas are done, I'll hopefully throw some of those into the garden.  I might have to transplant them somewhere else if they grow fast or the other stuff lasts longer than usual, but it's worth a shot.

I had to set up my new fencing after my old one broke two years ago and last year's was too flimsy.  I accidentally bought this one too tall, and the holes felt big to me, but I did two layers and then cut off the top eight inches or so, which I then twist-tied to the bottom of the garden for a little more critter protection.  Not sure if it will help, but I'm hoping it looks like enough of a blockade.  Beyond that, I pulled some weeds and made some mental notes about things I needed to do on Monday.  

I did take some time over the weekend to work on my diamond painting, which was nice.  I'm close to halfway done now.  I also worked on a pair of earrings, which I've been trying to do for a while now.  I had a reasonable amount of phone time but tried to keep it short and sweet.

Monday was another lazy start.  Delayed breakfast and Jacob complaining about his new illness.  Eventually I got myself dressed and headed out to the yard.  I spent well over an hour playing lumberjack in our way back.  Every year I need to go out there and cut down a bunch of little saplings before they get too tall and take over.  Of course, the ones I really want to cut are caught in the power lines, so I had to leave those, but I did cut down dozens of other trees, a few big ones needing a saw, and a bunch of tiny ones that the tree trimmer tool could handle.  I now have a pile in the yard that's taller than me!  Craig complained a little because some of those trees were helping baseballs stay out of the neighbor's yard, but I think the thousands of dollars in future tree removal I'm saving is probably better.  I need to get to them before they get big!  I came back in for lunch and washed out my many wounds from the blackberry vines, then went back out and cleared out more weeds in the back flower beds, sprayed the patio weeds with my vinegar concoction, and finally dug up parts of a couple giant hostas to try to plant in our front flower bed.  It was a big empty space where the gutters used to overflow, and the spirea bushes that were there died off over the last handful of years due to fungus.  I figured I had hostas to spare and figured they might have a shot at surviving there.  It was harder to dig them up than I hoped, but I got a couple decent clumps up.  Let's hope they take.

I was hoping to have the time or energy to go to Lowe's and get more mulch, but after all of that I decided I had done enough.  I had given enough of my time and energy to the yard this weekend.  I accomplished a lot, but as usual, I always wish it was more.  I still have bushes to trim and the mulching to do, and there's always a lot of weeds to tackle.  But the yard is a heck of a lot further along than it was when the weekend started, that's for sure.

So, I did house stuff, yard stuff, a fun outing, some grocery shopping, a couple good meals, and some of my own creative hobbies.  I could have used a fourth day, but all things considered, it was pretty decent.  Now we head into peak "summer season"--nicer weather, hopefully lots of baseball, the end of the school year, watching all the things grow, and anything else we cram in before the 4th of July.  I know everything is going to so fast from here on out.  It always does.  I'm not sure all of the health stuff is going to let us do all the things like usual, though.  So many problems, so many unknowns.  But we only get so many summers so I hope we can make it work.

I Can't Even...

I'm at a loss.  If it wasn't hard enough having one kid with medical mysteries, now I'm back to two.  I'm going to start getting a complex about spring, I swear.  Just thinking about warm weather and the end of the school year has begun to rile up my anxiety (yes, even with meds) because that time of year last year was so chaotic.  Between Jacob's issues and Carter's swollen face/mouth and all the craziness surrounding the Dominican trip, plus the usual end of the school year stuff, I was absolutely on edge last year.  That time is coming again, and already I feel like it's happening again.

Carter and I are both in a sort of in-between with our GI stuff.  The worst of the symptoms have eased, but things are still clearly going on.  My symptoms have gotten a little worse again, although not nearly as intense.  His are sporadic.  His next round of testing last week showed slight improvement in a few of the areas, including the all-important hemoglobin (a few tenths of a point but better nonetheless), but the one inflammation marker specific to the intestines that was already shockingly high was even higher.  I noticed that one of the other inflammation markers was extra high in the first round of bloodwork he had done, before anything consistent was happening (that was just some testing thrown in with the Celiac test), and then it came down later even though his physical symptoms got worse.  That lends credence to the idea that this was some sort of infection initially and this is some sort of aftermath--perhaps the autoimmune response the doctor mentioned as a possibility.  I still just find it so weird we have the same thing happening, pretty much out of the blue, at the same time.

His GI appointment was yesterday (finally), and mine is Friday.  I sort of wanted to call the GI doc and ask if I should get any blood work done beforehand, just to see if mine mirrors Carter's at all, but maybe that can come after.  I feel like both of our experiences should be taken into consideration because it could be either a genetic thing or that we both caught the same thing.  His next step is a colonoscopy, unfortunately.  I'm wondering if mine could be another SIBO test.  His doctor doesn't think it could be SIBO because bleeding is rare, but that would be on the table depending on what the colonoscopy shows.  As much as I'm worried about him and want to get his levels and weight up ASAP, having the appointment coming up allowed me to compartmentalize the anxiety a bit, especially since his situation hasn't gotten significantly worse, symptom-wise.  There wasn't really anything else we could do until that appointment, so I appreciated the little mental break, even if I know there's still an undercurrent of nerves.

And then there's Jacob.  Just when we thought things had calmed down with him, here we are again.  Did I mention that we were supposed to have his anxiety med consultation a couple weeks ago and somehow the system failed us?  There's some sort of issue with joining Zoom calls and seeing that the other person is there--in fact, I had it happen for an appointment of mine right after his, but managed to realize that if I went out and came back in, it might work, and it did.  Well, because of that we missed his appointment and we're now waiting another month.  That felt extra inconvenient this time around because it's been a rough few days of anxiety.  Jacob and Craig went to Pennsylvania last weekend for a tournament.  His first game was Friday night and he called me after pretty much freaking out because he was exhausted after running up and down the court a couple times.  He'd been feeling a little off for a couple weeks, but honestly, it just seemed like his annual funk near the end of the school year where he's extra tired and unmotivated in the mornings and just feeling a little down about various things.  It's happened the last couple years, so I figured this was the latest round.  He was still working out, but he did mention being extra sweaty and a little more tired.  But of course, he never wants to go to bed early and often lets his eating habits get out of whack, which of course could contribute to being out-of-sorts as well.  But he was so exhausted during that game that he was convinced that his iron was low.  It wasn't a bad theory.  He discontinued his iron supplements that he'd been taking for a couple years after his endoscopy found that he had gastric siderosis, which is iron deposits in the stomach lining.  It's usually caused by oral supplements and can be made worse by reflux meds.  They seemed to think it was over-supplementation, and I did ask if we should test him before taking him off, but they seemed to think if anything that we could test after.  I guess it made sense because his hemoglobin, RBC, and hematocrit were all good when he had the endoscopy done, so I don't think they suspected anything could be off.  But truthfully, he hadn't been retested for iron or ferritin for a long time, so we have no idea where his levels were sitting before he stopped.  We managed to get his GI provider to send in lab orders Monday morning, and results started coming in a few hours later.  Shockingly, his iron was really good (almost too good).  His vitamin D, however, was low.  That's a little odd since he does get 1,000 IU daily.  He used to take 2,000 IU but with all of his issues over the last year I began to wonder if it was too much, so when those ran out I had him take the same amount I do.  Guess it wasn't too much after all.  Otherwise his results weren't too notable, but there were a couple blips.  His anion gap was slightly high, and his protein, albumin, and creatinine were all at the very high end of normal.  His bilirubin was higher than in the past, too.  All of those things can typically correlate with dehydration, but some of those things can also be a part of a kidney issue.  Now, normally I would completely rule out the kidney thing (and I think the bilirubin makes the dehydration thing more likely), BUT if you recall we did have all those issues earlier in the year with the possible kidney stone, some pain, and an ultrasound.  The ultrasound was fine, although one did have more fluid than the other, but it decreased significantly once he emptied his bladder and no one seemed concerned.  But if you think about that and then bring in his higher blood pressure that started this mess 11 months ago and hasn't permanently gone away, I suppose that could be something.  Where that would have ever come from, I have no idea.  Oddly, high iron can also be a kidney thing, and while his was definitely not high, it was oddly higher without supplementation than it was two years ago.  So that strikes me as a little odd.  The GI provider wasn't concerned about the blood work at all, and neither was his pediatrician.  But I keep wondering if this is one of those cases where all the puzzle pieces separately seem fine, but when you put them all together (which a lot of doctors don't do because they don't overthink like parents do and assume a relatively healthy young kid is fine), it looks a little different.  His pediatrician said that nothing in the blood work would explain the fatigue, so he was referring us back to the cardiologist.  Jacob had a clean ultrasound last summer after having some chest pain and the high blood pressure, so I'm not sure what else they might look for now, but I'm honestly a little annoyed that no one is listening to the dehydration or kidney thing.  He does use a lot of hydration drinks, so I almost wonder if he's having too many of those and not enough regular water to offset the salt.

But suffice it to say that this was another wrinkle that we definitely didn't need.  Jacob asked about 400 times last weekend to get his blood work done, even though I assured him I had messaged the doctor, and he was panicking because ChatGPT was telling him it could be months before he was back to normal if it was the iron.  Then yesterday he was asking me about dysautonomia and POTS.  My friend ended up with a horrible case of POTS after she had COVID, and he's nowhere near that.  But UGH.  STOP IT.  We're not doctors and neither is ChatGPT.  ChatGPT is helpful but not perfect.  But his anxiety just won't let him quit.  It's exhausting and I think it's making his symptoms even worse.  At least, I know mine always feel worse when I'm constantly worrying about them.  

So, here we are, lots of health issues and no real answers.  I was hoping for more progress this week, but it ended up being a lot of hurry-up-and-wait.  Miraculously, Craig did his blood work for the first time in ages and I was honestly bracing myself for the worst (because why not at this point?), but the only thing that seemed to be off was his cholesterol, which has been up and down in the past.  There's still a few things he's dealing with--work stress, a bad knee, and some general fatigue that I think could be worsened by any of the above plus maybe the meds he's on--so he's not completely in the clear, but at least nothing concerning popped up this time around.

So, anyway, back to the weekend.  After the unsuccessful game on Friday night, Craig and Jacob decided to just skip the rest of the weekend and come home.  Part of it was probably because they actually had another player staying in their room and Jacob was uncomfortable being so vulnerable and miserable around someone he barely knew.  It was unfortunate to lose that money and it was a pretty rough deal for Craig to drive 11 hours in about a 30 hour span, but I know Jacob was thankful to be home.  It put a bit of a wrench in Carter's and my plans for our weekend, though.  Carter had our eating planned out, and I had some plans for us in case his baseball game got canceled.  Somehow the baseball game happened despite torrential rain in the morning, and the boys made it back just after the game started.  But that meant that I had to overhaul our eating plans and readjust my expectations of the entire weekend.  I think as a whole I was just exhausted by this latest development and I wasn't nearly as productive during the second half of the weekend as I wanted to be.  I was tired and doing a lot of disassociating with my phone, when I should have been doing other things.  The weather was also a bit demotivating because the warmth of Friday was interrupted by rain Saturday morning and cooler temps by Saturday afternoon, and then Sunday kicked off a full week of 50s (including a frost warning Tuesday morning).  Not exactly what I was hoping for in late May.  We'll be lucky to hit mid-60s for Memorial Day, which is pretty sad, yet that will be a vast improvement over this week.  The low 50s and rain later in week are already so depressing, and we're only about halfway through it.  Though, it all still pales in comparison to the insanity going on in the midwest, which has been hit by tornadoes daily lately, including one in St. Louis the other day.  That one made me sad since two years ago this week we were there having one of our best family trips ever.

Anyway...before all of the Jacob stuff happened, I actually had a quite productive Friday.  I ended up taking off the afternoon at the last minute (a combination of the waning nice weather and complete lack of motivation to work, although I did complete a big project that morning), and despite the 80 degree heat I managed to chop more than half a foot of new growth off our burning bushes and clean up a small evergreen, and I also tried to hack away at another evergreen to get at our gas meter that needs to be changed out.  Not sure I was very successful, but I made enough progress that I might call them to look at it again.  How they've been reading it all these years with it that covered, I have no idea.  Makes me wonder!  I also managed to organize a couple kitchen drawers that desperately needed it, and ran to the garden store to get my annuals and the garden plants I wasn't starting from seeds.  I figured I could do my flower planting on the porch in the rain Saturday, but those plans got derailed by baseball, the boys' return, and my subsequent blahs.  I did rebound on Sunday by getting a few bags of mulch, potting soil, garden soil, and a shepherd's hook at Lowe's.  I put out the three bags of mulch (I need more but just didn't feel like loading a ton up that day since I couldn't find a good cart and everything was damp) and planted all of my pots and planters.  I figured I needed to get them done and in pots before the weather shifted entirely, although they're all still on the porch because of the frost and rain situation.  I did plant six impatiens under our front tree Friday night because I desperately needed to clear out the dandelions and shoots from that area anyway.  I was pretty pleased with what I accomplished, though, and look forward to watching them grow.  Later in the weekend I reorganized a couple kitchen cabinets that had gotten out of control and vacuumed and wiped down my car, which had gotten rather messy after a full winter, a couple road trips, and the start of "grass season".  I wanted to be a bit more productive with my weekend, but those tasks all felt good to get out of the way.  I still have a lengthy list for another day, of course.

The only other thing of note recently is that Carter had his last orchestra concert of the year last Thursday.  Aside from the fact I was fearing illness because of the completely stuffed up woman a row and a few seats away from me (and I have been fighting something off this week), it was a really good concert!  The 6th and 7th grade bands were a little rough, but the 8th grade one was great, and the song selections were really fun!  The orchestra is a little smaller than band so they could keep them all in one big middle school group, and as a result, they sounded really good!  

They played five pieces and these were my favorites:

Starlight - a very tough piece, and even though I didn't recognize it, I think it's a relatively well-known song?

Rosin Eating Zombies from Outer Space - This one was hilarious because it was preceded by one of the orchestra members (not coincidentally, one who had a main part in the winter musical) running out and claiming that his rosin was glowing green!  Suddenly it "attacked" the conductor and she dropped to the floor--impressive considering she was in a dress!  She "recovered" in time to conduct, but I guess the students didn't know that was going to happen, so they weren't entirely sure what was going on!  But this song had so much personality, including the serial killer screeches.  

Any Way You Want It/Don't Stop Believing - It's always nice to have a song you recognize, and this fit the bill nicely.  A little Journey for our listening pleasure!

So, here we are...facing down Memorial Day weekend already.  Jacob has a mere three weeks of school left (plus exams) and Carter has just over a month.  I can't really believe we're here already, as much as my body has been craving summer sleeping-in for weeks.  It would help if the weather would turn around and if we could get some good answers (and good news) about all of this health stuff.  I'm tired.