COVID Vent

Can I just vent here for a second?  Sometimes it's better for me to vent here than to get tempted to do it on social media where people can see it and argue.  I really just sort of need to talk myself through something because it's bugging me.  Also, in the interest of further documenting how crazy and bizarre this entire experience is, much like I did early on in the pandemic, I want to leave this here as a reminder years down the road what absurdities we dealt with.

Rant: I am SO. FREAKING. TIRED. of people who are resistant to masks.  Resistant to any COVID precautions really, but masks especially.  Masks are so easy, generally non-invasive, and are really the best ammunition we have to keep a nasty evolving virus at bay when a portion of the population has no interest in more invasive measures.  

Yes, a year ago the vaccine seemed like our savior, and as vaccination numbers climbed, cases declined.  They even continued to decline once most restrictions were lifted and we were free to gather and unmask.  It probably helped that better weather had arrived, mind you, but for a solid couple months, cases were so low that even schools were finally able to be fully reopened at full capacity for the first time in over a year.  But even then, the most successful school reopenings involved masking.  The vaccine was working for eligible groups and masks didn't seem as important as long as you had your vaccine, as vaccinated people had a significantly smaller risk of both catching it and transmitting it, especially when asymptomatic.

But then delta hit and everything changed.  With delta, transmission was easier.  The vaccine only fought off so much, and it became easier for vaccinated people to catch and transmit.  Still, the vaccine was useful in keeping the risk down for severe illness, which not only helps the person who has it, but also the hospitals that are struggling with capacity issues.  Now, the new omicron variant makes these problems even bigger, as it can evade the vaccine even better and is even more transmissible, even if its cases aren't as severe.  Which brings me back to the masks.

If the vaccine isn't doing what it was expected to do--or at least what it once did--if we do nothing, we risk exponential spread again.  Many areas are quite close to that, probably with only the vaccine's modest effectiveness keeping things from exploding further.  I understand they can't stop pushing vaccines, because they do keep people out of the hospitals and save (most) lives, but if they're not getting the job done, we need another option.  It's either masks or (God forbid) another shutdown, and I for one am happy to wear a mask to avoid a shutdown.  I want my kids in school, I want stores and services open, I want fun things to do in our spare time, and I will gladly use a mask if it helps keep those things available.  Maybe the bulk of the spread isn't happening in a lot of those places, but it sure can't hurt to have one less venue for it to move from group to group.  If people want to gather and risk illness, that's their choice--we all have our mental health needs and I'm not necessarily going to judge people for that because we've done it, too.  However, I'd prefer that their risky decision not get passed to me as I stand next to them trying to buy food for my family or watch my child play basketball, just because they don't yet know they're sick and choose not to take further precautions.  My mask might give me some protection from them, but it works best when they have theirs on too.

As of Monday there is now a mask mandate in New York State.  All indoor venues, excluding those that only allow vaccinated individuals, need to have masking.  That means stores, churches, schools, gyms, and almost everything except your own home have some sort of requirement.  I honestly have no issue with it, and I actually wish they didn't even have the vaccination exemption, because it's clear vaccinated people can catch and spread it more readily now.  Even though asymptomatic spread may be less common, it's clearly an issue--which we learned all too well from our Thanksgiving dinner.  And some people just think they have a cold or allergies and--even worse--want to pretend this isn't a thing, so they go about their lives without a test or any precautions.

So many people are at different stages of vaccination anyway, from fully vaccinated and boosted, to two shots, to one J&J, to kids who only have one shot or aren't booster-eligible yet.  As a result, the "fully vaccinated" definition is a bit fuzzy now since so many people's initial resistance is fading, and if they haven't boosted they're probably at a similar risk level as they were prior to getting the shot.  And then there's the people who can't get the vaccine, and a whole slew that won't get the vaccine and refuse to mask up even when requested.  So, to me, the only way to have any level of consistent protection is to have everyone mask up and at least TRY to block aerosols from making it out in the world.  No, masks aren't completely effective, but they have to block something, and every bit that they block is that much less that can cause problems for someone else.  And for little kids and especially the immune-compromised, every bit helps.  

But there are many people, and entire counties now, who will not abide by the state mandate.  People are obviously just over it and trumpeting their "freedoms", and counties insist they don't have the manpower to enforce it.  The problem in my mind is that--whether they admit it or not--many people subconsciously take their lead from how the government regulates things.  Obviously there will always be the rebels, and lately it's in fashion for there to be groups that fight literally everything a governing body puts out there, but historically people didn't get serious about seatbelts or eliminating indoor smoking until the government started making rules to encourage people's safety.  In a natural disaster, people wait for leaders to speak and explain next steps for recovery and supplies, and in other crises, the government sets the tone for how we as a country move forward.  For generations, when the government bothered to elevate something, people have been more likely to take notice and take action.  But the second the governing bodies stop backing something, I think for a lot of people it signals that it's just not that important.  We saw what happened when even one side of the political aisle simply downplayed COVID, and we're still dealing with those repercussions.  I understand that most cases are happening in homes at private gatherings, and that's a problem.  Short of going house to house to enforce it, which is clearly overreach, the government has to manage what they can access, and right now that's public places.  If people don't regulate themselves at home, it forces their hand publicly.  If they don't act, hospitals will definitely be overrun and wonder why they're not getting support from any part of the community, because if the government won't take the lead, who will?

These stupid variants are changing things by the day, and yet people refuse to operate in the present.  When it was just the original strain, the vaccine was enough most of the time.  That was not some grand lie.  Statistics back it up.  Now it's not enough.  And that's not because the vaccine is faulty--it did work--it's because ongoing infections (which at the time were almost entirely courtesy of the unvaccinated) allowed the virus to mutate to something almost unrecognizable to the vaccine.  Now COVID's vaccine response more like the flu, in the way that the vaccine isn't going to block all cases.  It's not like measles or polio that are nearly a sure defense and allowed for herd immunity.  This is like the flu vaccine that blocks certain strains for most people and gives you a better chance of mild symptoms if a different strain pokes through.  Obviously there was hope initially that the COVID vaccine would block everything, but the variants changed that.  And that's why there may be a series of boosters (which opponents delightedly joke will be never-ending), because not only is this still rapidly evolving, but it doesn't really take a seasonal break like the flu does, so annual boosters like we do now for the flu may not cut it.  If the flu spread like crazy year-round and created new strains all along, we'd probably need a booster six months later for that, too.  Luckily for us, it takes a break in the summer so we don't.  COVID is different.

I'll admit I'm frustrated by the current vaccine mandates in light of the vaccine's clear deficiencies right now.  We just sent away a ton of much-needed medical workers because of it, and I think the way the mandates are being handed down just creates more stubbornness than anything else.  In theory I do believe people should be able to make health decisions for themselves, in a way that doesn't threaten their job or ability to attend school, but maybe the line gets drawn when their decision can impact other people, because every prevention method works best when both parties take part.  Under normal circumstances, with time-tested vaccines, I do get frustrated with those who avoid them.  I understand currently why people are hesitant, as this is a new one without years of success behind it.  However, there is overwhelming evidence that they work with only tiny risks of side effects, so I'm most frustrated with all of the misinformation out there and wish that was never able to happen so more people were willing to do it on their own.  But the mandates now just create more resistance and anger, and have made already short-staffed medical facilities even more short-staffed, putting more pressure on already-exhausted workers.  I understand how those in power need to maintain certain narratives to insist the vaccine is important, because it is the only thing keeping most hospitals from being overrun right now, and I know they hope these mandates will convince people to do it.  However, I honestly think the only thing that will convince them at this stage, a year into vaccination, is people seeing their loved ones sick and dying, and deciding they will take every possible step to not have the same thing happen to them.  Even that's not enough for some people, as they insist they are healthy and they'd prefer their immune system get natural immunity.  That's all well and good...until it's not.  So many people have found out the hard way that their body wasn't as prepared as they thought it was.

I think one of the hardest things about this pandemic has been what seems like a constant barrage of potential life and death decisions.  Do you get the vaccine?  Should your children get the vaccine?  Do you take that trip?  Do you send your child to school or go to work in an office?  Do you skip the mask while gathering with friends and family?  Do you get that medical procedure or have that baby while COVID is actively spreading?  There are so many concerns with being out in the world, and yet so many mental health repercussions to limiting yourself, which is why so much of it comes back to the stupid mask.  Wear the mask and 95% of activities are considerably safer, barring those involving eating.  So if we don't want a shutdown and we want the rest of our freedoms intact, just put on the stupid mask and help others who might need that extra layer of protection.  Why any person thinks a politician would choose a mask mandate as the ideal way to "control" their constituents, I just don't know.  People wearing a mask only helps to protect others and keep numbers in check; there's no logical reason why seeing masked constituents should give them some sort of smug satisfaction or feeling of power.  It's just not logical that it's merely about control.  It's simply demonstrating that it should be a priority and maybe make people think twice when they gather privately about whether masking should be considered.  If politicians hold a responsibility to keep numbers in check, it's the easiest way to do so.  What is the alternative?  Let everyone just run amok openly spreading it?  At this stage every bit helps, even if public masking is only a small piece. 

I'm just so confused how people still deny COVID's a thing (I saw at least a couple comments yesterday of people calling an outbreak at Cornell a bunch of "false positives") and seem completely fine with taking the risk that they'll get it.  Yes, at best they'll have few to zero symptoms.  But what if they pass it to someone else who doesn't?  Do they like the idea of feeling like garbage for a week or two and needing to isolate from loved ones, especially around the holidays?  Or at worst, are they okay with dying and leaving loved ones behind?  Maybe to them it seems like a lot of effort for small risk, but this has caught more than a few people by surprise.  Wearing a mask seems like such a small task, a little bit of goodwill to protect others (and maybe yourself).  I know they can be uncomfortable and some people now see them as a symbol of tyranny, but medical professionals have worn them for decades and I doubt they'd want their next major surgery done without one.  So why is it so darn difficult to just deal?  

I understand that this seems like it will never end.  I know that this all started with two weeks to flatten the curve and has turned into two years of upheaval, but we had little idea at the time (thanks to China keeping things quiet) that this could be as deadly as it is for people of all ages, that it could cause long-term medical issues for those who survive it, and that it would end up to be so far-reaching.  The whole world is struggling with this, it's not just some American construct to keep us under someone's thumb.  Many things have been mishandled, but everyone is sort of learning as we go and some decisions have been more logical and long-lasting than others.  People play into the slippery slope fallacy that just because one thing happens to help control the spread, a bunch of others will happen and we'll be prisoners in our own homes forever, and as a result they're resisting the exact, rather minimally hard things that could make this end, or at least make it a little more livable.  It's so stinking frustrating, and even sadder as we hear the stories and even as I watch via Facebook someone that I once knew on the verge of death from something that's supposed to be "no big deal".  I'm disheartened and worried about Christmas once again, and yet half the world just doesn't have an interest in helping this go away because their own freedom is more important.  Sigh.  So much for peace and goodwill toward men.

Ups and Downs

We're more than a third of the way to Christmas and things are continuing to be a little on the challenging side.  More positives in Craig's family, and they've felt like garbage, but nothing serious at this point.  We all seem to be fine, thankfully, as the two week window ended today.  But cases continue to rise all over and I feel like any extended Christmas gatherings are looking very unlikely.  I just can't believe we're facing down another year of this.  The key now is keeping ourselves healthy so we can at least have immediate family gatherings, even if the extended family ones don't work out.  Carter got his first shot today, so at least he'll have some protection by then.

On the basketball front, Jacob got some bad news this week that all of the 8th graders got moved down to the modified team from the JV team.  They had a rough scrimmage on Sunday against a really good team, which wasn't unexpected but still prompted his coach to say there were going to be cuts coming.  Tuesday was the JV opener, and sure enough, on Monday they were all sent down.  Never mind that Jacob is definitely more skilled than some of the older kids that remain on the team.  I guess this coach has a thing about kids "doing their time" and not wanting them to take the place of older kids, but that's rather short-sighted when your team is already pretty terrible.  Why give up talent if they could help your team, or even just provide motivation for the starters to get better lest they lose their spot to an up-and-comer?  We heard today that it also had something to do with the arrival of a couple international students, but there are some possibilities when they leave at the end of January.  It all just seems odd to us, and obviously disappointing.  The good news is that the varsity coach is still very high on Jacob so we're hoping his influence will help down the road.  In the meantime, hopefully the modified team will stack up better against other teams and Jacob should have an opportunity to shine.  There's still some concern about what position they'll have him playing, since he's currently one of the taller kids but does not play "big" roles since he won't be the tallest for long.  It's not that he can't try, but it won't help his development the way it should.  Beyond that, these changes create all sorts of upheaval again that could eventually lead to a school change and/or Jacob reclassifying, which would mean he'd repeat 8th grade.  Not because of academics, of course--he made high honor roll this quarter--but rather to give him more time to develop as a player.  It's pretty common in basketball, but I can't say I'm a fan of the practice.  I just don't know if his skills are so full of potential that this level of disruption in his schooling would be warranted.  He may be able to make a D-II or D-III team, and maybe it could help in the scholarship department (which is important if we're paying an extra year of private school tuition), but it all feels extreme when the potential his trainer and a few others see hasn't really borne out on the court with any regularity.  That's not all his fault, mind you--iffy coaching, COVID, the "big" position issue, and a host of other factors have all contributed.  We know he has talent, and when he's on he's amazing.  But the inconsistency makes it hard to judge what's real and what's possible, so that's a really big decision.  And we only have a couple more months to make it before the school starts bugging us to sign a contract for next year.  Ugh.

On the bright side, I finally finished the rest of my Christmas decorating last week, namely the window clings I always seem to put off and FINALLY, at long last, outdoor lights!  We've never managed any sort of outdoor lights at either house we've owned.  At our first house, I just never got around to figuring it out.  We had an outlet but I guess I wasn't that aware of outdoor timers, and the bushes closest to the outlet were prickly holly bushes, so it would have involved hanging from the gutters, which never really interested us or motivated us to figure it out.  I always wanted to do more here, especially as the kids would ask once in a while, but our front porch outlet is in the worst possible spot.  It's smack in the middle of the porch, and any cord would either turn into a trip wire across the porch or have to be elaborately threaded up and around the big front window, across the porch ceiling, and out to the front of the house.  Last year I saw some siding clips on Amazon, and that got me thinking.  Maybe I could buy one of those pre-lit shapes, like a Santa or a tree or something, and hang it on the siding at the top of the porch steps.  Since it would be flat, it would stay out of the way of the door to the garage, and the cord could run along the wall.  But this year when I finally got to Lowe's and looked, anything like that was prohibitively expensive.  So, I bought four strands of lights at Target and took a page from my parents' book.  My parents used to string lights from their plant hooks down to a long piece of wood on the ground, creating a tree.  I found some scrap wood in our garage, put up a siding hook, and gave it a try when the weather was oddly warm and windy last week.  My first attempt was decent but I felt like it needed more help--a wider base and better spacing.  I grabbed a slightly longer piece of wood, screwed six metal hooks into it, and restrung everything.  I think it definitely made a difference, and I sort of love it!

Before

After!

My only issue is whether I might need to cover the outlet if we get a round of blowing snow.  The outlet doesn't (and can't) have a cover, so I might need to rig up a bag and electrical tape, just in case.  But so far, it's been good.  

I mentioned in my last post my quest for the last glass tree at Target.  Here is my final mantle setup.

From L to R: A dollar store hanging tree candleholder I've had for years, the replacement $3 Target tree (with a tealight under), my beloved bubbly red glass ball from IKEA, $5 light-up mercury glass tree from Target, nativity decorative plate we received as a wedding gift, $5 clear stained glass style tree from Target, red sparkly candle we've had for years, IKEA lantern, $1 Target green glass tree.  Background is sparkly pine garland with red LEDs, hanging lights are gold stars, and the stocking holders are nativity-themed.  Nice blend of old and new!

And of course, the trees...including my theme tree this year, which is sports!

So excited I figured out how to stabilize the big star this year--the top branch did not like its weight!  An old fake flower stem did the trick.  I think the extra tall star makes it feel all of its 7.5+ feet!

The boys and I were happy to get home from Jacob's Sunday scrimmage and have Craig home from his first road trip of the year.  It's definitely going to take some getting used to having him gone again.  Monday was Craig's birthday.  Work day birthdays are always a bit of a bummer, but we did our best. We were excited to give him his gift, an Office Funko Advent Calendar, which contains 24 little Office characters.  We're so curious which ones are in there, since all of the online photos only showed the first handful.  It was fun getting to open six at once!  He decided he wanted Outback for dinner, but for various reasons we got a later start (not the least of which was the grumping around after Jacob's basketball demotion and my need to run to Wegmans after forgetting frosting the previous day and subsequently running out of about 10 other items in the process of dinner and making his cookie cake), and by the time I came back with the food, Craig was in the middle of a work conference call.  So we tried to delay eating as long as possible, until he felt comfortable bringing the computer into the kitchen to finish up the call.  It still wasn't the most stimulating conversation between him being on the call and Jacob still complaining, but the food was good, at least.  Then we had cookie cake, by Craig's request.  It was definitely a bit low key, but hopefully we can improve it by next year for the big 5-0!

And before I forget, here's a pic I never got to post from Thanksgiving.  All my boys!

So, we're down to two weeks left until Christmas, and there's still a lot to do!  It's amazing how fast the weeks go right now, between hybrid work, Jacob's practices, trying to get dinner on the table each night, and getting through the rest of the appointments we have each week.  Jacob only has one more full week of school, and I know these weeks will continue to fly by far too fast--Christmas always comes quickly enough anyway.  We probably have a bunch of traditions we still need to do, still many gifts to be bought, movies to watch and lights to see.  And in a year where things may be a little funky again, the pressure is on to do all the things so it still feels like a real Christmas.  It's not easy, but like every other year, we'll get there one way or another...way too quickly.

Stumbling into the Season

Well, Thanksgiving was pretty great.  Everything after that has been a bit dicey.  Maybe I'm being overdramatic, but let's just say that all of the good vibes from a lovely Thanksgiving have pretty much disappeared in the week since.

Thanksgiving itself was lovely.  We grabbed take out for dinner on Wednesday, packed up, and headed out in the evening, which gave us some time with my parents before everyone headed to bed.  We did church in the morning, which turned out to be less awkward than expected due to the mask mandate recently brought back in Erie County.  Instead of being the only masked people like we usually are, everyone had to wear them.  But with spiking cases and no distancing, it was definitely much preferred for us.  The bad news about the mandate is that it made my dad's Vespers concert that I was hoping to attend this coming weekend remote only, as the county said that in order to have unmasked singers they would need to be 12 feet apart, which means they need to take over the entire church just for the singers!  

We had a lovely lunchtime meal with my parents.  My apple pie turned out the best ever, and everything was delicious.  Carter ate about six crescent rolls with his turkey and stuffing, but who's counting?  We FaceTimed with my brother, niece, and nephew, and after some further digestion, we headed off to Craig's family.  

That dinner is always quite a big to-do.  From fancy charcuterie and shrimp cocktail while the many, many dishes are being prepared, to a giant spread for the meal, it is impressive, but probably much needed with 16 people being served!  Two turkeys, two different stuffings, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, roasted veggies, green bean casserole, regular and gluten-free biscuits, cranberries, and...I'm probably forgetting something.  Oh, and like five pies for dessert.  It's all delicious and tremendously filling, no matter how careful you try to be.  We did determine I will be switching out green bean casserole for mac and cheese (and maybe deviled eggs!) next year.  The Instant Pot should make that pretty simple, and keep one more thing out of the oven (aside from maybe browning some breadcrumbs at the end?).  I've done mac and cheese for lunch in no time, so I'm game!  We enjoyed most of the Bills' win before heading home, and arrived around 11pm.  And yes, that drive was challenging...partly because I was still so full!

I woke up Friday sneezing and sniffling like crazy.  Despite my cold having been mostly fine for days, I was suddenly a mess.  It was reminiscent of Jacob's one-day sneeze fest the previous Sunday, and sure enough, I felt significantly better on Saturday.  Ever since, I've been been mostly fine with only a few daily instances of sinus pressure that make me sneeze and have to blow my nose about twice in a row, and then it passes.  It's so weird.  It could be a blooming sinus infection, but it seems to be getting better, so we'll see.  Nevertheless, my big day of decorating on Friday was not as successful as I'd hoped, between my nose dripping every time I bent down and feeling a little wiped out from the constant nose blowing.  Add in the rest of the usual complications--putting away the fall stuff, moving the toys so we can move the furniture, lugging up two trees, putting up the old tree branch by branch, vacuuming needles, placing all of the other decorations, and finally hanging the ornaments--and it took me literally until about 10pm Sunday night to get everything done.  I also took breaks for a few other things, like basketball practice chauffeuring, cooking meals, and running errands, which were shockingly productive.  I still have window clings to put up, and my big attempt at outdoor decorating didn't happen because it's been extra freezing out, but we'll get there.  I also went to three Targets in two days trying to replace a glass tree I bought that ended up being broken when I got it home.  I had agonized over Target's adorable offerings in the cheap section for a few days, and finally decided on one green mercury glass light-up tree, one clear stained glass-style tree (each $5), and two $1 glass trees, one green and one white.  They were whimsically mismatched and were destined for my mantel.  I tried a couple Targets over the weekend to replace the broken one with no luck, and finally settled on a slightly bigger $3 one Monday morning after dropping Jacob off.  Good enough.  That stop did enable me to get the outdoor timer the other two stores were out of, although I think my delivery would have been here by now anyway.  I think the house and trees look great, truly, but it sure felt like a mess getting there.   The good news is that I get to enjoy it a lot more again this year working from home.

I will say that buying for the kids is going really well--in fact, other than some stocking stuffers and maybe a couple filler gifts, they're nearly done.  I've had some really efficient shopping trips and some good luck, plus one big Amazon order.  We still need to distribute the rest of the kids' lists out to family, but it's a great start compared to most years--December has just begun!  Craig is doing a great job on his family, though I still need to figure out most of mine.  Who knows what extended family exchanges might be this year--even if we have gatherings, is it worth buying ahead with the risk of a last minute cancellation as cases continue to rise?  I figure if I can get the rest done ahead of time, then it will be less of a big deal if I do end up buying for extended family last minute.  

Speaking of COVID cancellations, cases are going up pretty horribly now, to the point we're almost no better off than last year aside from having our own personal protection against severe disease.  I think delta has basically evened out the impact of the vaccines--when people are getting infected, it's in greater numbers than before.  Where there was one or two, now it's five.  Vaccines aren't perfect, either, and I assume a lot of people who put off their boosters now have less protection than they think.  I'm guessing that's why hospital numbers are as bad as they are--that the most vulnerable got vulnerable once again.  But who knows.  And now there's a whole new strain, omicron, that is slowly infiltrating countries despite best efforts to contain it to southern Africa where it started.  It's sobering to think that if it moves as fast as it seems to be, Christmas could be as in jeopardy as it was last year.

And if that wasn't feeling real enough, we got a couple solid reminders recently how quickly plans can change.  First, with my extended family's Thanksgiving cancellation, which I mentioned in my last post, and then Sunday when we got the news that someone who attended our Thanksgiving dinner with Craig's family tested positive.  We didn't have a lot of interaction, but we did sit at the same end of the table, so now we're playing the waiting game.  One other person already tested positive (and it's someone with a suppressed immune system, so we're nervous).  Carter and I both took tests Sunday night at home and both were negative.  Craig had to take a test for work Sunday anyway, which was also negative.  Given that Jacob has had COVID and is fairly recently vaccinated, we're less worried about him, but obviously we'll be keeping a close eye on all of us anyway.  We have a bunch of home tests coming thanks to a sale at Walmart so we'll test both kids tonight, and I'm getting a test through work Thursday (by request of a nurse who reviewed my daily chick-in, which I was honest on), so we're being diligent.  Even though Carter is unvaccinated, we haven't reported anything to school because he had so little interaction with the person who had it, and we're tracking him closely and testing periodically.  I don't want him out of school for two weeks for very low odds, so we're going this route while we can.  Next week the county starts its test-to-stay policy, so if something like this crops up again, it shouldn't be an issue.  It's just that easy, though, that the simplest, most innocent family gathering of immunized individuals can go downhill quickly.

Things took another turn for the frustrating when I found out on Monday that another co-worker is leaving (that's five since August), and as none have been replaced for a multitude of reasons, it's going to be a very frustrating six months or so.  Two of those leaving have been the point people for our two biggest online fundraising events, and our academic team is basically down to my boss and me, with a side assist from the reunion/young alumni/affinity director, who is already shorthanded on her own, and our digital person, who will be taking on considerably more for those events.  I have no idea how things are going to get done.  It was hard enough fully staffed, but now, with so few people and almost two years into a stressful pandemic that has me randomly distracted and exhausted on its own, I'm worried.  The one bright side is that it should give me a VERY good case for the long-awaited, technically much deserved promotion I've been angling to get for the last few years.  If doing most of someone else's job on top of my own doesn't do it, then I will have some serious thinking to do.  Yet, I appreciate the massive flexibility I have right now and that would be tough to risk giving up, but hopefully it won't come to that and my performance will speak for itself.

And then yesterday there was another school shooting, this time at a high school in Michigan.  Four kids that should have been celebrating with their families in a few weeks are now gone.  It's too reminiscent of Sandy Hook for me, as it occurred to me the other day that it's been nine years next week since that one.  Those kids would have been the same age or within a year or two of these latest victims.  This stuff continues to happen every few months on average despite the horror of that one particular shooting.  It's crushing as a parent, and even harder when the kids it's happening to are close in age to yours.  While it seems like it could never happen here, that's what all those other schools thought, too.  I'm just at a loss.

With everything that's going on right now--rising COVID cases, being exposed ourselves, Jacob's crazy basketball schedule (frequency of practices and constant schedule changes), trying to get everyone immunized for COVID and the flu, taking care of other appointments, Craig's busy work schedule and travel, and now my work drama, plus this crazy messed up world in general--I feel very scattered and worry that my Christmas spirit is going to get crushed under all the things.  I will say I found myself very appreciative of the five days after Thanksgiving where I could be productive before the calendar flipped to December and the "official" countdown started.  It was helpful mentally, but I have already been watching the countdown posted on a house around the corner, and we are now down below 25 days--which means less than four weeks!  I know it always goes so fast, too.

I was supposed to be in Buffalo this weekend for Buffalo's Christmas markets and the Vespers concert (which I can still hear online), but given our exposure, it's looking wise to stay home.  I guess maybe I can get some things done?  But Craig will be out of town, so that might be a challenge.  I guess I should appreciate any sort of slow pace I can get right now, but it's a bummer to miss out on any holiday fun or family time...and I can't wait to get my finished nativity!  Maybe next weekend, assuming our tests remain clear and no symptoms show up.  I had really hoped there wouldn't be all these caveats again this year, but here we are, COVID Christmas #2.  Time to try to make it merry!

News & Notes, Stuck in the Middle Edition.

It's been a weird week or so killing time until Thanksgiving.  I got my Wednesday cold, and then I piled on the fun with my flu shot and COVID booster last Saturday.  Initially my flu arm hurt more, but then my booster arm really started to hurt (like, can't-get-my-shirt-off hurt).  By later Sunday, my lower back got sore and eventually I had a massive headache that sent me to bed rather early.  Since I was still pretty good Sunday morning, I did get up for church, but only Carter and I went.  Craig got home from Canada very late, and I just couldn't seem to get Jacob out of bed.  He's sometimes grumpy at church anyway, so for one week I figured I'd let it go and assume he needed the sleep.  By the time we got home, he was sneezing up a storm...just in time for JV practice to start on Monday.  Thankfully, he was off school all week so we didn't have that judgment call to make, but it was frustrating nonetheless.  I gave him a couple doses of zinc and hoped for the best.  He was significantly better on Monday, so I wonder if missing his allergy pill on Saturday set him up for trouble (it did me no favors the previous weekend, so who knows).  We did a COVID test anyway and he was fine, so off he went to practice.  I ended up working from home for the third time in four work days to monitor him, make sure my cold was really gone, and that my COVID shot had no more tricks up its sleeve.  I did end up going in for less than a half day on Tuesday to wrap up a couple things, but suffice it to say the last week was a little disjointed.

I've also been stuck in the weird limbo of wanting to get started on Christmas decorating but firmly holding to my "Thanksgiving first" rule.  It's an important holiday to acknowledge our blessings, and what's the point of putting out turkeys all month if they're not even there when we finally celebrate it?  It didn't help that we got our first real snow the other night, which made it seem like even more of a reality that Christmas is coming.  It's mostly melted now, but I'm hoping the snow forecast for Friday will happen to get me back in the mood as I decorate.  First thing when we're home Friday will be pulling all of that fall decor down and starting to shift furniture (and toys) to get things in place for trees.  But with all my time at home this week (and especially last weekend, even if I felt cruddy) I felt like I was losing out on precious time.  I did online shopping instead, which was actually probably more productive anyway.  I got a few big gifts out of the way before shortages or price hikes become a problem, and I have plans for most of the rest of the boys' stuff.  Jacob's not getting much because he's getting a big gift, but I still want him to have a few things to open.  I have a pretty good plan for Carter (and his birthday as a backup if needed), but feel much better with a couple big gifts secured.  Everyone else is mostly a mystery still, but the boys are really the most important for me.  I've at least started my list of people to buy for and I'd like to knock them off in rapid succession if I can.  With all the supply chain issues and everything else right now, it was important to get in holiday mode sooner, so at least that provided a holiday outlet if the decorating wasn't an option.

The funny thing leading up to this week was that my urge to decorate and get in holiday mode was pretty strong, and it didn't occur to me until a couple days ago how challenging getting to that point actually was last year with all the unknowns (and that was all before our COVID Christmas).  It also hit me that this Christmas is now equally threatened.  Cases are up considerably (to where they were on the back-end of last year's holiday mess), and while officials still maintain 80% of hospitalizations are non-vaccinated folks, it seems like most of the cases we've heard of lately are vaccinated people.  They've fared relatively well, mind you, but it's frustrating since vaccines seemed to be the way out of this mess last year at this time, and now we're no better off aside from having a little personal assurance we won't get super sick.  All I can figure is that delta is so much more contagious so the same behavior is at least two to four times more productive in terms of spread, and also that the early vaccine adopters, who were the most vulnerable, could be losing their protection if they haven't gotten a booster, and therefore are driving hospitalizations back up.  Not to mention that COVID fatigue is seriously a thing and no one wants to put their life on hold any longer, or be even the least bit uncomfortable.  At least schools are mostly doing well, but it's definitely getting messier than we had hoped and will likely get worse for another six weeks or so.

Reality hit even more when my extended family's Thanksgiving evening plans got canceled due to a case in the family. The hosts' son-in-law got sick, and they were technically exposed, so it's a no-go.  We weren't going anyway since it's in the middle of dinner with Craig's family, but it was a stark reminder how quickly our beloved and much-missed Christmas gathering could go up in smoke, and started me wondering again if we should just commit to masks and find crazy ways to distance (there is usually none there--wall-to-wall people!), especially while eating--like setting up a firepit outside and dressing for a shift in the weather.  I think most of us would bend over backward if it meant keeping the older relatives safe and ensuring the gathering could happen at all, but all of a sudden, it's scary again.  I feel better to have gotten my booster, but Craig still needs his and I need to get Carter's shot scheduled--flu shot first on Monday, though.  But even the thought of Carter getting his scares me a bit, even more because it's the holidays, so there are all sorts of mixed emotions right now.  But I know the kids are excited for the holidays and we survived a pretty crappy situation last year, so I'm going to try to press forward as normally as possible and see how close we can get to highly functional/enjoyable.

Another oddity in this busy last week was that I found out our old house is back on the market for the second time since we sold it (third time in 12 years if you count us).  I was reviewing the listing for my cousins' house (the one where the fancy desk came from), and happened to widen the map view looking at others in the area for a price comparison.  Houses in the map area pop up on the sidebar, and sure enough, there it was!  These owners did considerably more than the last ones.  They replaced the bushes in the front with a patio (which I always wanted to do), painted the kitchen cabinets (also wanted to do), replaced the last owners' carpeting with laminate in the dining room, painted a few rooms (but our living room color scheme remains!), took down the bathroom border I put up, painted all of the paneling in the basement, and ripped out the super-plush basement carpeting.  It looked like old, possibly asbestos tile was left behind (who knew that was there?).  But the 70s drug den vibe is officially gone!  Most of the improvements looked pretty good, so kudos to them if they get their price, which they probably will in this market.  I was just happy to see the cute retro shelves and ceiling plaster designs were still intact.  I almost took the boys to the open house over the weekend, but the cold and booster issues pretty much ruled that out.

The past few days leading up to the holiday have been busy, between laundry, grocery shopping, Christmas shopping, house cleaning, work, basketball, and generally getting my life in order.  I feel like I've been cramming in errands and household tasks everywhere I can.  Jacob had his first JV basketball scrimmage this morning, and when I found out we had a half hour between drop-off and the game, I ran around the corner to Dollar Tree and Aldi to grab a few things on my list.  Then later Carter and I ran out to the liquor store and Target before dinner, only to end up at another Target in Buffalo later to pick up something ours didn't stock--and I immediately had (non-)buyer's remorse for not getting the $5 light-up mercury glass tree in the dollar section because the second Target was completely sold out, which tells me they will be popular.  I was up until 1am last night puttering around the house doing a ton of different things, and today was almost non-stop, too.  Suffice it to say, it seems like the holiday rush has come early.

Jacob's first scrimmage went pretty well.  He got 11 points and shot really well.  He had a couple giveaways and defensive lapses, but no worse than anyone else and not bad considering he's among the youngest on the team.  He's already frustrated with his coach, who literally told him the other day (despite him making the team fair and square) that he should be playing modified instead.  That was a shot considering he's actually more skilled than most of the team, but it was good to hear the same coach today tell him he was very pleasantly surprised by his play.  He's had this coach before and didn't like him much then either.  The coach didn't use him right last time--he still did well anyway--but clearly he's got some picture in his head that Jacob's not good enough.  Yet when he's playing in position and consistently, he certainly knows what he's doing as well as anyone out there.  Never mind that Jacob has worked his butt off over the last six months playing and training, so he's a very different player than he was in June.  I think sometimes Jacob struggles to put into quicker action what his brain is processing should be happening--like, he knows what needs to happen, considers his best route, and moves, but it all takes half a second longer than it should.  That should get better with experience as he refines those instincts at this level of play, but he'll get there.  Thank goodness the varsity coach really likes him, because maybe we'll just have to endure one year of this before things improve.  Or he'll just leave the school if it looks bad, but let's hope not.  It will be an interesting season, though.  After spending much of my tween years watching my brother and cousins play high school ball, I'm looking forward to it.

Well, Thanksgiving is officially almost here and I guess I won't quite be ringing it in in bed--but it's the holidays now, right?  What else is new?  This year I'm thankful we get to celebrate, and so many things have felt so much smoother in the midst of the rest of the life chaos that's happening around us, so there is much to be grateful for this year.  Time to soak it in and make the most of it before the wild ride of the holidays starts all over again!  (Speaking of which, how ARE we here again already?!  Didn't I just put that stuff away?)

BINGO! - A Much Needed Trip, Part 2

I arrived in Binghamton just before dark (stupid time change--it was only about 4:30).  I was, of course, coming to see my oldest friend Heather and my sweet godson Mason.  As I mentioned previously, he just turned one!  And yet it's still hard to believe sometimes that he even exists!  Heather and Peter waited so long to adopt, and it almost seemed like the opportunity had passed.  But then, out of the blue, there he was...and now it's been a year!  Such a little miracle, and Heather has been documenting the ways that God's timing was perfect--from her unexpected career change a few years ago (allowing finances and schedules to work out better than imagined) to where things stood for her in grad school last year when this all happened.  It just all worked out so well, and what a blessing he is to so many people!

When I arrived, it was great to see Heather, of course, but Mason was still napping!  Turns out he'd been battling a cold (which he passed to his dad and grandma), but fortunately he was in good spirits when he woke up.  He wasn't too sure about me, but we got to hang out while dinner was being made, and slowly but surely he warmed up to me.  We hung out in the hallway looking at books for a bit.

Not too sure yet...

As the night went on I definitely started getting some smiles.  Eventually he dug into the bags I brought with me--one with shoes and a couple other little goodies, including our beloved "fridge farm" toy.  He had plenty of toys to keep us occupied and interested, so it was fun getting to play with a much more interactive little guy than the last time I saw him.  Oh, and he's crawling like a maniac now, and just starting to pull up a bit more, so it was fun watching him practice those skills.  It sure brings back memories!

Later on the tissue paper from his birthday gift caught his eye, and we let him go to town pulling it out.  It look him a bit, but eventually he figured it out.

At first he was like, "Are you sure I can do this?"

Then it was just fun!

I got him a basket/scoop for bath toys, which he needed, as well as a Sandra Boynton book, Dinosnores.  Can't go wrong with her stuff, in my opinion!  

He has this adorable and oh-so-soft Thanksgiving Snoopy blanket (they're a Peanuts household as well!), and he was SO cute with it!  He loved getting covered with it and playing peek-a-boo, but he would also just flop down and cuddle it.  I don't blame him.  It was so snuggly!

Eventually it was bedtime, which gave Heather and me time to catch up--which we can pretty much do endlessly after all these years--38, to be exact!  We celebrated with a little wine!

At bedtime, I had to laugh because I walked in my room, and the cat, Gypsy, was sitting on her cardboard scratch pad looking at me like, "Silly human, why are you in MY room?"  She just sat there while I got into bed, and eventually she fell asleep as I was looking at my phone.  I have no idea when she left once the lights were out, but no joke, the same exact scenario happened the next night, too.  It cracked me up.

We were excited for a busy day on Saturday!  I took Mason duty when Mom and Dad got ready, and then we ventured out to visit Heather's mom, who just moved to Binghamton last month.  If you'll recall, she lived in Western New York near my parents, which made for a good meeting spot when we were all in town.  Well...given that her only other grandchild is grown, and Heather and Peter were running into a little bit of a child care conundrum, she graciously hatched a plan to move closer to them.  It's a lot to take on at her age, for sure, but why not maximize her time with her new grandson, not to mention her daughter?  We took a drive to her new apartment, which is conveniently in the same complex as Peter's dad.  We got a bonus visit from Heather's cousin, who also lives nearby and was dropping off a new microwave after an unfortunate incident during the move.  I got the apartment tour and it was nice catching up--I've known Heather's mom forever as well, so it's always nice to visit.  I still think back to our sleepovers back in the day and how patient she was (parenting solo while Heather's dad worked nights) to watch our Hot Looks doll fashion shows and listen to whatever craziness we had up our sleeves!  

Back at the house we had lunch and tried to get Mason to nap, but he had his own ideas!  Here he is gleefully clapping together two puzzle pieces, which he very much enjoyed doing.  I kept pointing out the giraffe one, telling him he'd see a real giraffe that night!

Does this look like the face of a sleepy boy?  Certainly not! 

This wasn't nearly the cutest of our playtime, but he was having fun!

Before he finally went down for his nap, he spent some quality time with the bonus gifts I brought him.  We had the fridge farm on our fridge for many years--maybe 10?--basically from Jacob's first birthday until sometime in the last couple years because Carter would still make it play once in a while.  The farm has magnets featuring two halves of a handful of different animals.  If you get the right two halves, it plays you a congratulatory song about making a match and does the appropriate animal noise.  If you have mismatched halves, it sings a different song about the silly animal--a pig duck, a horse sheep, etc.--and tells you, "That's silly!"  The other thing (purple and green in the picture) was a similar magnetic toy using letters.  Pop a letter in and it sings you a letter song and gives you the sound.  We got that one as a hand-me-down (missing a couple letters).  He's still getting the hang of it, but he'll pick it up quickly and it comes in handy while making dinner!  It brought back fun memories to hear the songs again, and it will hopefully distract him a little from his new favorite skill--someone learned how to open and close a cabinet, and practiced it a lot!  Time to baby proof!

While he napped, Heather and I snuck out to get our paint on!  We went to a place where you pick out a ceramic item and paint it.  It will get glazed and finished up in the next couple weeks, and hopefully she can bring mine next time we see each other--which is hopefully in a couple weeks.  We landed on nativity scenes, which seemed like a fun idea until we found out we were supposed to do three coats of paint!  That was a lot of details for three coats!  But we persevered, and eventually I had to put the perfectionist tendencies out of my mind and call it good.  It'll be a little wonky, I'm sure, but handmade and memorable is always good!

Once we got into it, we decided it was very relaxing and fun.  I may not have great artistic skills, but I do enjoy stuff like this.  I'd possibly do it more if I had more use for the end products.  I will love using this one in my Christmas decor, of course, but it's sort of like my diamond painting obsession from early in the pandemic--I tend to wonder how many times I could do it without ending up with a serious clutter problem!  But at least most of the ceramics could be used in the kitchen!

Mason got in a solid two-hour nap while we were gone and then it was time to get ready for our next big activity.  We were going to Animal Adventure Park for their Jungle Bells light display!  If you recall a number of years ago, April the Giraffe captivated the world as we waited for her to go into labor.  There was a webcam, and millions watched in anticipation.  I still remember being at my parents' and casually checking the camera on a Saturday morning, only to find hooves hanging from her behind!  Labor had begun!  I watched the whole thing and it was crazy.  A few years later it happened again, but I missed it because I was traveling all weekend.  However, the video of the AAP owner coming into the barn and seeing hooves, then accidentally spilling his coffee in his rush to prepare was pretty funny.  Anyway, knowing it was so close to Binghamton I was always hopeful I'd have a reason to go, and while their main season was over, it happened to be the first weekend of their holiday event!  And what baby doesn't love Christmas lights?!

It was very chilly, however, as the 50s from the day before had turned into low 40s by Saturday evening.  Luckily, last time I visited, I brought with me a snowsuit that Jacob wore when he was one.  It has built in mittens and seemed like the perfect choice for a cold night--even if we did make comparisons to Randy in A Christmas Story because he had a hard time doing much of anything while wearing it!

We figured we'd just eat when we got there, so first priority was finding the concession stand and a place to sit and eat--ideally in warmth!  I snapped this while we were figuring things out.  Very appropriate!

We also attempted a chilly selfie!

We warmed up with hot chocolate and other snacks in a large enclosed shed of sorts, which had lights, inflatables, animated decorations, and...Santa!  The family pic I snapped of them was cute because Mason was just staring at Santa intently from his stroller!  Then, it was off to see the lights and the animals!

Silly donkey!

Scottish Highland Cattle are so cute!

Eventually we wound around to a giant building, and sure enough, it was the giraffe barn!  It was pretty surreal getting to see the wooden structure I've watched on webcam for so long!  A lot of people were feeding carrots to the giraffes, so it was a little crowded, but it was really neat to see the giraffes in person.  Sadly, April passed away a while back, but her mate, Oliver, was still there.

Johari was brought in to be a new mate once April had retired from breeding, and oddly they've suspected for over a year that she could be pregnant.  Apparently they connected in July 2019, but the 15 month gestation came and went.  Yet she was still showing certain signs of pregnancy, had a bigger belly, and people thought they were seeing kicks.  Bloodwork and ultrasounds were inconclusive, and they admitted maybe there was another connection later on that they missed.  But here were are all these months later and still no baby.  But she's still round and the religious cam watchers are still convinced.  It's crazy!

Johari craning her neck to see, and Oliver just hanging out

Oliver looking for treats!

Hi Johari!

That tongue!

She's so cute!

Figured I'd take a butt shot since people are always staring at it anyway waiting for action.  Could be famous one of these days!

Back outside, it was chilly, so we definitely tried to walk briskly and see what animals we could find.  There were some swans sleeping near this water.

The nearby arch was pretty.

We did see some reindeer, ironically at the exact same time reindeer were mentioned in the Christmas song that was playing!

There weren't a ton of animals who were able to be out in the extra cold weather, but we enjoyed the ones we saw.  We saw alpacas, goats, a couple kinds of deer, hyenas, antelopes, and some giant peafowl sleeping in trees.  It was hard to tell which animals were off exhibit and which ones were just hiding from the cold.  It's also pretty dark so as it was you had to look closely.  But near the end, the lights were really the star of the show...

The changing lights were so pretty!

Mason did enjoy checking out the goats!

We tried to take a picture here, but it was just too bright!

Near the end, Mason was starting to get a little fussy, so while Peter ran to the restroom, I quickly ran off to do a once over of the areas we had passed by, to see if there were turns we never made.  Looking at the map later, I think we missed a couple possibilities, but we did double back to see this tunnel, which was stunning...

We also caught a glimpse of the kangaroos inside a nearby building.  Just like when we saw them at Stokoe last month, the way they lay down is just comical.  The one on the front right is laying flat on his back.  It's hard to see, but in the way back, I think you can just glimpse the very rare blond joey that was born earlier this year.  It's a red kangaroo with a condition that causes it to lose pigment.  His name is Cosmo.  Given that he looks a lot lighter than the ones around him, I think that's him in the middle of the back section.

Just before we left, I noticed this sculpture near the other giraffe barn/deck.  It's a statue of April and her baby Azizi, who also passed away recently while living at a zoo in Texas.  So sad they're both gone, but it's a sweet gesture.

Once we got home it was bath and bed time, and admittedly, I was quite ready for bed myself!  It was fun to watch Mason in the tub, though--he loves it!

Sunday was pretty basic - breakfast, church, lunch, some playtime, and then time for me to get on the road.  Not only did I want to make it home to make the boys dinner, but I also wanted to avoid the dark.  We got in a little more fun before I left, and of all the toys, his choice was the blanket!
 

Ahhh, that smile!!

We had such a great weekend!  Friend time, baby time, nature time, holiday time...what could be better?!  It felt pretty restorative, actually, to the point I was excited to get home and see my boys.  I'm hopeful our plan works out to meet up in a couple weeks when they come in for their extended family Christmas and I come in to see my dad sing in his big holiday Vespers concert (which I've always wanted to go to but it's never worked out).  Hopefully Mason will remember me and we can have a little more fun.  And I'm excited to see how my Nativity turned out!  

The drive home was mercifully easy--I'm convinced that God made that 17 to 86 to 390 route extra easy for me, knowing I'd be doing it more often.  One coffee and bathroom stop about halfway, and that was all it took!  The exits and towns are spaced really well, the scenery is nice, and the last leg is full of good memories since it's the route I take to and from Geneseo.  The Thruway route home is actually slightly shorter, and while I don't mind the first leg on 81, Syracuse is usually trafficky and the last 90 minutes are painfully boring and I constantly associate it with desperately wanting to get home.  Instead, the route I take has a last leg that's super familiar and that I have positive associations with, since I'm usually happy to have just been in Geneseo.  And when it's rainy and getting dark, having that comfort is even better.  I did hit some snow on the way home--nothing that stuck much but enough to make me cringe a little.  It's coming, people! 

After immune boosting all week after feeling a little headachy the night I got home, my cold finally showed up on Wednesday.  I had been battling reflux again on Monday and Tuesday, and after a really scratchy throat from the acid on Tuesday, I started realizing on Wednesday that my sore throat was now being fueled by post-nasal drip.  It got a little worse by last night when the congestion got harder to manage, but on the scale of cold severity, it's pretty low.  Hopefully the zinc makes it quicker, too.  I had a home test so I know it's not COVID, so I don't worry too much about going out since I'm always masked anyway.  I was also able to work from home today, which was helpful.  However, it could derail my plan to get my booster and flu shot tomorrow.  We'll see what the doctor's office says.  I'm hoping I'm better by Monday so I get one in-person day next week before an extra long weekend.  I actually freaked out a little on Sunday when I realized that this was our last full week before Thanksgiving.  I guess I did a good job keeping November busy!  Now Thanksgiving is imminent and a week from now Christmas decorating will be in full swing.  I'm not sure I'm ready, but the time has come once again!