BINGO! - A Much-Needed Trip, Part 1

Picking up where the last post left off, I woke up to a dreary Friday morning, with luckily only one kid to get off to school.  Jacob was off, but Carter had school, so I packed his lunch and got him out by 8:30.  Despite taking the day off, my next step was hopping on my work computer to check my email, take care of a couple daily tasks, listen to our weekly staff update, and make sure nothing else needed to be taken care of while I was out for the day.  Craig got home from the mechanic after an oil change before 9am, and after some last minute packing, I was off by shortly after 10am for my weekend adventure!   

Where was I going?  Well, my sweet godson's birthday was on November 3rd, and his party was on Halloween.  Originally it had been scheduled for the day before, but due to family conflicts it had to change, and due to that and some conflicts on my end, I had to miss it.  Not only didn't I want to be away from the house for Halloween (only so many years of trick-or-treating left!), but Craig had a mandatory work weekend in Canada and it just wouldn't have been possible to go without some serious help from my parents, and even then it might not have worked very well, especially with Halloween in the mix.  So, I promised I'd find another weekend where I could visit.  This one seemed to work since it was one of the few without much going on, but then Craig almost had to go to Canada again.  Fortunately, one of Jacob's potential basketball teams scheduled tryouts, so Craig had an excuse to stay home, particularly since he'd just been there Tuesday.  Fortunately he got the OK to do that, which cleared the way.  I was excited to have something to break up my least-favorite three-week stretch of the year, as the excitement and anxiety for the holidays build up but time usually drags awaiting the time off.  I took Friday off so I could meander my way down and have a couple adventures (not to mention get there in daylight), and off I went to Binghamton!

Since my family is generally not into nature (unless there's a playground involved, in Carter's case), I missed out on a couple opportunities when we went through the Ithaca area back in June.  There are a couple state parks out that way, and based on what I had seen in passing, there were some fun, easy-ish hikes and some lovely waterfalls to be had.  Because our June trip ended up a little weird and oddly stressful, I didn't push it, but vowed to myself that I would go back, possibly whenever I made it down to see Heather and Mason.  Originally I figured I'd just pick a summer weekend, but then our summer schedules ended up a little squished.  Then we ended up having a quick last-minute visit back in September anyway, and when the birthday party fell through and the rest of fall was crazy, it turned out my solo visit needed to wait a little longer.  Once I picked a date, I crossed my fingers and said a few prayers that foliage and weather would cooperate.  Earlier in the week, the weather wasn't looking promising.  It was supposed to rain Thursday night and into Friday.  As the week progressed, it seemed like the rain was going to end earlier than previously thought, at least in Rochester, so it seemed like a possibility it might be wet but doable by the time I got out to Ithaca around midday.  The drive started out sunny at home, but turned mostly cloudy as I went east.  When I got to my first destination, Taughannock Falls State Park, it seemed like it was starting to clear...and it turned out to be a perfect day for a couple fall hikes!

I had Googled the parks on my route endlessly, trying to figure out the easiest trails and access points.  I knew my time would be limited and I am only equipped for the easiest of hikes (read: walks).  My first stop was the Taughannock Falls Overlook, which had very easy access from the parking lot.  The initial view was breathtaking!

After the rains overnight (and some rainy weather over the past couple weeks), the waterfall was flowing heavily!  There are times in the summer where it's barely a trickle, so this was impressive!

See that bridge going across the water just in front of the falls?  That was my next stop!

The gorge was impressive, even if the foliage was really starting to fade. 

I had to use my real camera to zoom in on the top of the falls.  Such a pretty spot, even if the water was rather rough!

I took it all in for a few minutes, then hopped back in the car to drive around to the start of the Gorge Trail.  The first view was this small but raging waterfall.

It was flowing so heavily it was coming over the retaining wall, and despite the resulting rapids, there were wading fishermen at the base, just off to the right where the water wasn't rushing quite as fiercely.  I can't say it seemed like a good idea to me, but to each their own!

The trail was really nice.  It headed into some wooded areas along the Taughannock Creek and wound around deep within high stone walls in spots.  The foliage was clearly past peak, but there were some pretty spots.

I was shocked that I'd never really noticed pictures of this area before on the local hiking Facebook page I follow.  While the waterfall gets some attention, I thought the gorge itself was something special to see.

At one point in the mile-long walk, I came across a group of women who were excitedly collecting leaves.  Sure enough, there were giant leaves all over the ground.  This one was bigger than my foot!

At the end of the trail was the bridge you could see from the overlook.  It crossed the raging rapids and curved around to right near the waterfall.

The mist made it a little hard to take pictures up close, but it was really impressive.

Note how there are little side streams coming downhill at the beginning of the video.

I felt a bit damp and cold by the time I went back across the bridge, but had to take a selfie anyway!

I walked back along the same trail, enjoying the views and the blue sky.  I really want to go back there when the water is low in the summer because there were a couple landmarks--namely a sign on a rock structure and two rock stacks that were completely surrounded by water--that looked like maybe they're usually more accessible than what the high water allowed this time.  When I got back to the first waterfall near the parking lot, there was a gorgeous rainbow.  Beyond it you can see those crazy, brave fishermen! 

Out near the lot, you could see where the creek empties into Cayuga Lake.  It was so beautiful and blue!

At this point I was ready for lunch but I was in an area with very few (if any) options.  I didn't want to get way off course from my next stop and go all the way into Ithaca, though in retrospect I figured out it would have been barely out of my way.  Oh, well.  So I ate a granola bar, drank some water, and forged ahead to Robert H. Treman State Park.  Admittedly I was a little more nervous about this hike because of the wet weather overnight and online posters saying that it was a bit more strenuous of a hike.  I was hoping there was still a clear path and nothing would get too muddy or difficult to traverse.  

Right off the bat, the water was roaring here, too. 

I walked through a narrow gorge that reminded me a lot of Watkins Glen, with similar walls full of dripping shale.  There were a number of stairs down at one point, and I walked past an older guy who was literally running up them in workout gear.  Wow.  Eventually I approached the top of the waterfall, and it turned out that this was a crazy, twisty one.  Maybe that's why it's called Lucifer Falls?  It was hard to get a good picture from this side of the trail.  It started here with a smaller one...

...and kept cascading down in sections.

It's so much bigger than these pictures show.  I kept walking (very carefully) down a bunch of wet wooden steps without railings, and finally got down to the very bottom.  I should have known all those steps meant I had a heck of a hike ahead.  There was a lovely bridge at the bottom, but oddly, right behind me in this picture was a thing blocking the path I just came from, saying the Gorge Trail was closed.  Strange, since there was nothing blocking it up top!  Regardless, I figured I'd take the Rim Trail back and hopefully get a better view of the falls from the other side.

It turned out that the Rim Trail stairs were even more plentiful.  So many.  Around every corner was another group of 20 steps, followed by another dozen, and so on.  They just wound up the side of the gorge.

Eventually I was this high, but still had to go higher!

I had been looking all day for interesting fungi, and finally found this just off the path!

There was finally a good view of the entire falls from about 2/3 of the way up.  Notice how high the gorge wall still goes on the left.  I still had to go that much higher to head back to my car!

This was from another overlook hidden along the path closer to the end of the trail.  I was really huffing and puffing by this point, and I feel like I should be in decent shape.  I can't imagine doing this trail on a hot day.  The balmy 53 degree shady day I had was plenty!

The area on the left is the top of the final cascade, and the right is all the way down in the gorge

I was very relieved to finish the Rim Trail unscathed, since it was a little slippery from mud and fallen leaves in spots.  It had been a lovely little hike, though, with the sun streaming through golden trees.  Back at the parking lot was an old mill building (with equipment still intact) that housed the bathrooms.  This waterfall was right outside it.

Although I was very hungry by this point, I still had one more stop to make, at the other end of the same park.  I wanted to see the Lower Falls, which was just a 5-10 minute drive down the road.  As it was heading a bit downhill, there were amazing views of the lake in the distance along the way!  The falls were just a quick walk from the parking area.

Believe it or not, this can be used as a swimming area in the summer.  It was hard to imagine that day with how strong the water was rushing.  I was fascinated by the foam that collected along the shore near the base of the falls.

It was a neat little area, though.  I can imagine it gets very busy when swimming is open.

The creek leading away from it, Enfield Creek, was considerably calmer and scenic along the path back to the car.

And with that, the nature part of my trip was done.  I was so thrilled with the views and the experiences.  I was so grateful the weather cooperated, and was in fact pretty perfect for the entire afternoon.  I'll admit that I was a little nervous driving that day, worried about the post-rain conditions, hiking alone as a female who's not super great with the outdoors.  What if I slipped?  What if it was really remote and there was a creeper?  Anxiety does funny things, but I knew deep down the risk was minimal because I try to be super careful, and sure enough, it was exactly what I needed!

The next step was getting a very late lunch.  Well, that meant going into Ithaca, right to the area we frequented in June for most of our meals.  At first I thought about just getting Taco Bell because I could get something I could eat while driving and continue on.  But then I realized the only Taco Bell was the one we had the nightmarish experience with back in June.  When I got to the parking lot, I curiously sat and watched the drive-thru line, and sure enough, it was once again long and barely moved!  I was NOT going to get stuck in that mess again, and what I wanted was on the online-only menu, so I moved on.  But there was very little else on the road past there and once I got going I didn't want to double back.  I decided to go toward Cornell, since I had wanted to drive more around there anyway, and figured there had to be more fast food nearby.  It's a college campus, right?  Well...it turned out that the only easy place to go around there was on the other side of campus, a Burger King that was in the parking lot adjacent to the hotel we stayed at in June!  It was so funny how I was accidentally retracing the steps from that trip!  But since I was there, I did a couple laps of the Cornell campus, which was equally fascinating in the daylight.  I can't get over how many buildings there are, how giant they are, how varied they are in style, and simply how impressive the campus is.  It was so busy on a Friday afternoon, however, that I could barely get a picture.  I did snap this one, which just shows a building I recognized from many, many years ago, when someone somehow put a giant pumpkin on its spire.  No one even knew what it was initially or how it got there, and eventually it shriveled up and someone had to go up and grab it before it fell on people.  You can read about the prank itself here, and the actual story behind how it got there here, which apparently took 20 years to come out.  It happened back in the prime early days of webcams, and of course I watched the webcam they established to see when that crazy thing would fall off. 

Someday I will go back to Cornell, find a place to park, and wander around that campus for hours.  I know there's even more to see that I can't get to by car.  Anyway, I got my BK on the way out of town--just a small burger and fries since it was approaching 3pm by then and dinner awaited--and took the rest of the drive to Binghamton, where my oldest friend and godson awaited!  I'll save those adventures for another post!

Week in Review

After a stretch of downright cold weather, the past week or so was been much better.  It even hit the mid-60s the other day, not that I really got to go outside and enjoy it.  But it's still nice to wear a mid-weight jacket and not freeze the second you step outside.  The sun helps considerably this time of year, keeping cold days from feeling freezing and helping the slightly warmer days feel even better.  The bad news is that the time changed last weekend so there's an hour less of daylight to enjoy at the end of the day.  It's pretty dark by 5pm now, especially on cloudy days.  Good thing I leave work a little earlier these days!

While our weekends tend to slow down a lot this time of year, last weekend ended up being busier than usual.  Jacob and I went to North Tonawanda on Saturday morning to get him in a community service event.  We did the same PB&J event we did last spring, which is pretty fun and a very productive hour.  The workers put together more than 600 lunches for a local shelter!  We probably packed at least 60 at our table alone, and my mom and I probably did 80 PB&J sandwiches!  Jacob wasn't thrilled to do it but I told him it was worth getting in one good one to show he's making an effort.  After that, we went to lunch with my parents and then my mom and I went for a little bit to the visitation for the friend that I mentioned passing a couple weeks ago.  My mom had just seen her parents a couple weeks earlier at the funeral for our former pastor, so I think she felt like she should go.  We didn't stay long--we watched the slide show of photos, looked at the hard copy photos they had, talked to her parents briefly, along with a couple other people, and I tracked down her best friend (my classmate's sister) who was sitting in the church and talked to her for a few minutes.  I was sorry to hear her brother is having a hard time with PTSD after years in the military.  He was a good guy and it's a shame that doing his duty for his country is having such horrible consequences.  We didn't stay for the service because Jacob was waiting for me back at the house and was eager to get home.  It probably felt a little weird since I hadn't seem Kim in 20-some years, but as a fellow mom and friendly enough to be a Facebook friend after all these years, it was worth going.  Maybe one of those events alone would have been questionable for such a long drive, but both together felt like enough.  

On Sunday we went back to Buffalo to visit Craig's parents.  Craig had to get a COVID test for work that morning, so we did remote church and headed out shortly after.  We wanted to get there when the Bills' game was starting, though we had a quick stop to drop off fundraiser cookie dough at his cousin's house along our route.  The game was a disaster.  The Bills have looked pretty strong most of the time this year, but they looked awful against a terrible team.  Since it was a nice day and any good sports fan will do their part to change the luck, Carter and I took off to go to a playground I've been wanting to take him to for months.  It was about 15 minutes away, but it was well worth the drive!  

It was pretty busy, likely full of other Bills' fans who gave up and wanted to take advantage of a bit of decent weather!  But there was plenty of stuff for everyone to do.  The first different equipment we saw was this roller thing.  It was flat and it didn't seem like diving across it would work, so working your way across with the bars seemed to do the trick.

Carter on the lookout!

Going across a plank bridge...

This was nothing compared to the zip lines (you'll see in a minute), but still fun!

Monkey bars under the bridge!

The playground had these cute little playhouses--from a train, to a Tim Hortons (with a menu board), a theater, farmer's market, and more.

The big zip lines were heavily trafficked, but we finally managed to snag the accessible one.  Carter went for a few rounds, and then he tried to push me, but my weight and the slope at the end were a bit too much.

Carter trying to beat me out in hide-and-seek!  He ended up finding some other kids to play with shortly after.

We finished off our time finally getting a ride on the other zip line, where you just sit on a disc and fly across on a track parallel to the accessible one.  It was actually really fun--definitely the best one I've ever done on a playground!  By then it was starting to get dark (and cold), so we headed out because we had one more stop.  We went to the playground at the school that's right at the end of Craig's parents' street.  Carter had noticed it as we drove in earlier in the day, but I knew the other one would be a better time so we saved this one for a quick look at the end.

He checked out a couple things, including another spinner...

I wandered off and found these things that looked like zip lines, but there were two per track and they were curvy.  They didn't move too well, but I decided to try them anyway.  Big mistake.  Huge.  As I tried to use my weight to make them move--and they didn't--I swung more than anticipated and the momentum caused me to lose my grip and fall flat on my back.  Ouch.  It was reminiscent of when I knocked the wind out of myself on the school monkey bars when I was around 6.  Luckily I didn't have that problem this time, but I definitely activated a few body parts that didn't need activating!  I was a little sore the next day, for sure.  The bigger problem was that I got all muddy--my jeans, my new sweater-jacket from work, and even my phone.  Ugh.  There was mulch but perhaps not enough of it, or maybe the mulch was just muddy itself.  It was pretty dark by that point, and pretty cold without my muddy jacket, so I rushed Carter back into the van and got back to the house quickly.  I cleaned up as much as I could and we wrapped things up and said goodbye to Craig's parents.  The good news is that the time change probably got us out of there sooner than usual, and we were home by around 7:30, which gave us some much needed time to decompress before the start of a (thankfully short) week.

Monday was a rough one, as my big boss called a meeting at 10am to tell us she's leaving.  She's been around for 3-1/2 years, I guess, which blows my mind a little--although nearly half of that has been spent remote.  Sigh.  We were so adrift when she arrived (my boss cried at the sight of her on her first day!) after having lost multiple team members over the previous year and having to deal with a high-up boss who means well but tends to micromanage and have ideas that only make things harder when you're shorthanded.  Getting a new head stabilized everything, and we were a pretty steady team for years, only really adding people and not losing anyone.  And we almost made it through the entire pandemic intact, before two team members left for new opportunities a month before we went back to the office.  Then we just had another person retire.  And now we're losing our leader.  So here we are, back adrift and about to be down four team members.  It'll be another long search process, too.  So Monday was NOT a good day, with lots of commiserating among those of us in the office.  On Tuesday my boss and I hatched a little bit of a plan to maybe make this work in our favor.  It may not work but we might as well try to improve our situation if the next 6-9 months are going to be hellishly demanding anyway, right?

The boys had off Thursday and I took a half day in case we wanted to do anything.  In the end Carter and I just took a quick trip to yet another playground before heading off to what appears to be our last family therapy appointment.  We still have one more scheduled but wrapped things up anyway and will be discharged if we don't contact him in a panic with something else we need to work through in the next week.  As I mentioned, Carter's on his way to discharge as well, though we have 10 more weeks of his new social skills group he's doing, which I think might be fun for him.  

Anyway, just a few shots from the playground:

Dramatic shot as a bug caught in the web!

Happy shot by mom's request

Fun slide shot!

The spinners were once again a focus, and Carter finally seems to have mastered the mushroom one!

As were wrapping up and trying to get to therapy on time, I noticed this tree across the field.  It was so brightly gold, with a golden carpet underneath, and was majestically losing leaves like a snowfall.  I really wanted to get under it and take a couple pics, but as I walked, the grass got wetter and muddier.  I thought it might get better further in, but it only got worse.  I tried to get back out of it, but was a mess.  By the time I got back to solid ground, I had mud splatters on my jeans and my good sneakers were muddy halfway up.  And we didn't have time for me to go home and change.  Carter also stepped into some water in another spot, so we were both a mess!  

The cursed tree

I wiped off as much as I could, but it wasn't good.  I explained it to the therapist because I looked like a hot mess, but he was just happy to hear we'd been out playing, of course!  I did manage to salvage my sneakers back at home, thankfully.  After therapy and Carter's social group, Thursday night was spent getting myself packed and ready because I had a big day Friday and a fun weekend ahead!  Posts coming soon!

It Could Be Worse

A couple weeks ago when Carter and I went to the Library, I picked up a book called, "It Could Be Worse".  I just thought it looked cute, and we can all always use the reminder to try to see the positive in a situation.  Throughout the book, two sailors go on a crazy adventure where things endlessly go wrong.  One sailor always complains, and the other always reminds him that things could be worse.  Their ship capsizes and they get rained on, pooped on by birds, bothered by mermaids and pirates, pulled under by anemones, and swallowed by a whale, but the one guy always finds the bright side--like when the whale's belly stunk like fish, he was happy he liked tuna!  Eventually the day is saved, and all is well.  The book popped into my head again the other day as I sat at therapy waiting for Carter to come back out.  I think I've mentioned this before, but sitting in that waiting room gives me tremendous perspective on our situation.

Ever since Jacob was little and started being "difficult", I would often ask myself "Why me?"  Why couldn't I just have the easy-going, sweet kid who listened and obeyed?  Why did I end up with the kid who battled us on nearly everything?  Was it too much to ask for a kid who didn't create an hour-long standoff over an article of clothing?  Why couldn't anything with this kid just be easy?  He's had a lot of health issues, too, which I'm sure never helped matters and themselves contributed to the victim mentality I had.  Selfishly, I wanted to be a good mom and have my kid seamlessly fit in with the other kids (and me to fit in with other parents), but none of that is easy when you have the problem child.  Parenting has almost always felt hard, and all of the rewarding moments parents gush about on social media have been few and far between for me.  I've evolved into a hardened, often grumpy shell of myself that I usually don't like very much, due to the endless onslaught of frustration and exhaustion.  I got a reprieve when Carter was born and ended up being the sweetest, happiest kid for the first 4-5 years of his life, which seemingly confirmed I wasn't a terrible parent, but then that got hard, too.  As I said a couple posts ago, things are easing up a bit now, and I feel like it's given me some perspective on where we've been and where we are now.

I read back my old blog posts and feel the sting of how hard some of those years were.  And yet, part of me looks at the early behavior stuff and feels a little foolish, because that was just the tip of the iceberg.  A lot of it was typical high energy kid stuff, I think, but I know deep down that it still felt incredibly hard at the time, and I didn't see a lot of other parents struggling in the same way.  Parenthood starting around 18 months until right now has not been what I envisioned the first time I saw that pregnancy test, aside from the inevitable eternal worrying.  I never saw myself with two ADHD kids, making weekly trips to the therapist and picking up a legalized narcotic at the pharmacy every month.  I feel like it's been a long uphill battle with so many challenges I never imagined.  Do others have it worse?  Absolutely.  But I also wouldn't wish our experience on anyone else.  It's been the hardest thing I've ever done.  As memes like to remind us sometimes, it's not a contest--just because someone has it worse than your "hard", that doesn't mean it's still not "hard".  

Eight years ago when everything really came crashing down was pretty much the worst of it, if my emotional state is the measure.  I was on the verge of crying for months.  I think dealing with that kind of stress response long-term changed me, because I feel like the stress was just as high in subsequent years as the battles between the kids got worse and Jacob's defiant behavior continued to leave us at a loss, but that verge-of-tears feeling went away.  I just got used to struggling through it all.  

Nowadays in my house, I feel like I do about a 60-65 degree day in the spring.  Did you ever walk outside on a pleasant day, come back inside and have someone ask you how it was outside, only to realize you never really noticed the temperature because it wasn't an extreme that your body reacted to?  Like, after a long winter, any sort of warmth feels so good, but I've had moments where I realized the temperature didn't click in my brain either way because the weather was just sort of...exactly as it should be.  Not too hot, not too cold, just pleasant.  That's the best way I can describe things at the house (most of the time) now.  I don't notice the lack of fighting as much as I should because that's how things are supposed to be.  Or, similarly, I often have a hard time remembering to praise the kids for good behavior (which is something you're encouraged to do when you have challenging kids who don't get praised a lot) because when they do what they're asked or do something positive, it feels like that's just how it should be.  I think my brain is so happy to have the break from the chaos that it just floats along without bothering to recognize what has occurred to make it that way.  

All throughout these tough times, I've always known that things could be worse.  I'd look through lists of symptoms for behavior disorders and realize that Jacob's symptoms were there, but usually on the tamer side of what they could have been.  We didn't have holes in our walls or a kid who actually carried out violent threats.  I'd read the survey questions for the behavioral specialists or at Jacob's annual brain study and see things that blew my mind--like questions asking if my preteen leaves home without asking or has used drugs.  At those moments I would realize that there are people who answer "yes" to those questions, and it made our situation seem incredibly minor.  Sometimes I wonder if we just made much ado about nothing and they just humored us at therapy all these years.  But no, I know we had a lot of struggles, and I know other people we knew didn't have them to that degree.  Regardless, we needed help.

But sitting in that therapy waiting room always brings about more perspective than usual because you see real people dealing with things that are infinitely harder than anything we experience.  You see profoundly disabled kids in wheelchairs, unable to speak or even make eye contact.  You see kids that scream for no reason or are clearly intellectually challenged.  You see kids who wear winter boots in the middle of summer or have nervous tics--like the one the other day who couldn't keep his hands out of his pants as he walked, despite polite requests and offers of rewards from his therapist.  There are kids with everything from autism and brain damage to ones like my kids with basic behavioral challenges, where you'd otherwise never know something was wrong.  The range is sobering as we all gather in that one waiting room.  The one day I went into the bathroom and noticed that the changing table was ginormous, at which point it hit me that there are caregivers that need to bring grown children into that room to change their diapers because their disabilities left them without control of their bodily functions.  It broke my heart to think how hard it has to be for those parents--both the physical and mental struggle of having a kid who physically grows but mentally never makes it out of the toddler stage that we all know is so draining--and that's without the emotional reality of knowing your child will likely never reach the potential you always dreamed of for them.  I see these parents--average-looking people whose lives were turned upside-down by their child's condition, who never expected it and never had a choice, but just plug along because they have to.  I see these sweet therapists who have endless patience for what some of these kids dole out, come back to the lobby and always have the most positive report for the parents.  It's pretty amazing to watch, and it always makes me grateful for the relative simplicity of our problems.

So, as I sit there, no matter how discouraged I might be from whatever is going on--kids or otherwise--it's a stark reminder that things could always be so much worse.  It could be another type of doctor, a terminal diagnosis, or any number of the other disorders we see there.  We could have wanderers, learning disabilities, or impossibly defiant kids who express their "no" in violent ways.  We don't have any of that.  We have two tough kids who happen to not get along, and some days it's as much as we can handle--but more and more I feel like we're finally just dealing with typical problems, thanks in part to the medication that has worked wonders for both kids.  The medication in and of itself could have been a huge debacle, and twice it's worked with little to no side effects, which is almost unheard of.  For as unlucky as I've felt for all these years, it's becoming more apparent that we're actually pretty fortunate in a lot of ways.  It's funny, because for so long it felt like we were the only ones with problems, but as more friends had kids, and as their kids got older and their marriages evolved, it became clearer that almost everyone had some sort of issue somewhere along the way.  And in most cases I realized I probably wouldn't trade places.  Better the devil you know, I guess.

Some days it's easier to be grateful, some days it's harder.  We're not perfect and we still have bad days, but to finally see progress emerge so quickly after some of the worst of it seems downright miraculous.  We've weathered some tough storms, for sure--and for all we know we're just in the eye of the storm, not past it--but getting out of the worst of it for a bit has been a relief.  It makes it so much easier to realize how much we've survived, and more importantly how much worse it could have been.  God has certainly carried us through, because looking back there are moments I'm not sure how we did it otherwise.  "It could be worse" seems like a pretty simple and silly thing to say sometimes--particularly when things are truly hard--but it's a good reminder that there's always something to be thankful for.  

Halloween...and Now Here We Go...

I feel like this was a really low-key Halloween.  Yes, we did a pumpkin patch.  Yes, we had pumpkins.  Yes, we carved one.  But with only one kid dressing up, and it being a hand-me-down costume at that, it felt like we skipped a bunch of steps. 

Normally I feel like October is a scramble from start to finish, to make sure we do the pumpkin thing and each kid has a costume, and sometimes I even have one myself.  Even though I'm back in person part-time and we did have some holiday festivities last week, there wasn't a big emphasis on costumes or decorations like we usually do, so that added to the minimalistic feel this year.  I appreciated my office's efforts, though--cider and donuts, a mini pumpkin patch to pick a pumpkin, and a pizza food truck kept things feeling fun.  After three weeks of events, activities, and swag to welcome us back to the office (and probably make the return a little less painful for those who preferred remote), I think that's toning down now...right in time for the November blahs.    

I was a little disappointed that Jacob decided not to trick-or-treat this year.  Last year he was going to go but an ill-timed cold and an extra long wait for COVID test results put the kibbosh on that.  This year he just decided he didn't want to.  I stopped after 7th grade, but I feel like it's more common now for older kids, and he has the excuse of a little brother to go with, so why not salvage those last couple childhood years, you know?  You can only get loads of free candy for a short time in life, and I sort of regret I didn't do it longer, even if I understand why I stopped.  He's just too mature for his own good sometimes.  

Carter ended up picking Jacob's old zombie football player costume that he wore at the same age.  For a while he wanted to be Marshmello, the DJ with the weird marshmallow-shaped head, but I think some kids at school laughed at that, sadly.  At some point I mentioned what Jacob wore in third grade, and Carter seemed intrigued.  When I pulled it out, I was surprised how much he liked it, but I was thrilled to skip the trip to the store and the $35+ cost that we usually incur there.  Even if we would have had to do the store, at least he would have had two opportunities to wear it this year since he's now in a school that celebrates (his K-2 school did not, but the 3-5 school with the same group of kids does...go figure).  At least with school celebrations, it always feels a little better than spending money on something that gets worn for about an hour on Halloween night.  Ahh, the things we do for our kids!  But after settling on that costume, it wasn't until early last week that it hit me that I really needed to pull it out and test out a couple things for what he might wear with it--namely leggings to stay warm and a hat to help disguise the weird half-helmet it came with.  Then after a few days last week of dressing up for other theme days (and having a short week with Friday off for Parent-Teacher conferences), suddenly it was Wednesday, Halloween celebrations were the next day, and it felt like everything came a little out of nowhere!  It probably didn't help that I didn't have to send anything in for his party this time around--usually that's my advance notice.  But we figured it all out and he had fun at school.

As I mentioned, Friday was a day off for Carter, and in retrospect I wish I would have taken the day off.  The weather wasn't supposed to be good, but it was actually decent for most of the day so we could have gone out and done something.  Instead he rotated between toys and the TV and a little school work while I worked from home.  The weather later Friday into Saturday was a complete wreck--just pouring rain, the second day that week with more than an inch of rain.  Our yard was a swamp by Sunday, to the point I couldn't clear out my pumpkin patch when the rain finally stopped because it was under an inch or more of water.  Everywhere we went Saturday we saw new "ponds" that had formed, and a nearby creek that's usually a solid six inches or more under a bridge you can see from the road was completely OVER the bridge.  It was rough.  Our sump hole usually has almost no water in it, and it was high enough for me to force the sump pump to run to make sure it still worked!  

Craig was gone this weekend for the first time since his August California trip, and this was the first of many coming weekends where he'll be gone for work.  It's going to take some getting used to, for sure.  I can't say it went entirely smoothly, but we managed.  We had to be up at the crack of dawn for basketball practice Saturday, only for it to get canceled as we were driving there.  Jacob did end up attending a clinic later that day, and Carter and I spent that time picking up a gift for a birthday party next weekend and checking out the fall clearance (and getting a Christmas preview) at Hobby Lobby.  Jacob took a little extra time to come out once we arrived for pick-up, and we got bored enough to take a selfie... 

Later that day we drove down to Avon to get another round of donuts and pizza since it was the last week of donuts for the year.  Other than that, it was a pretty boring weekend.  I kept busy, of course, but the excitement level was decidedly low.  After cleaning out our pumpkin on Friday night, it took almost the whole rest of the weekend to decide on a face, but we finally did on Sunday.  Carter had wanted to take a family vote, but in the end we decided on a vampire mouth and used our window cling pumpkins to devise the other parts.

I only carved one this year out of protest--I am tired of doing two (or more) each year and having it be entirely my job.  Carter did help separate seeds this year and gave input on the face, but one was still plenty!

Craig made it home later in the afternoon, and before we knew it, it was dinner time and time to get ready to trick-or-treat!  We got Carter in his costume (plus an extra layer or two), and I added some dark eyeshadow to give him dark zombie circles under his eyes.  He insisted on directing his own photo shoot...

And then Mom insisted on one normal one with a smile...

I was thankful to get a free pumpkin at work the other day so we'd still have an orange one once our jack o'lantern rots.  It's the warty one on the right.  I am still completely obsessed with the other one on the ground.  The colors and pattern are so cool!

I didn't mind being the trick-or-treating buddy for the night because I wanted to make sure we got to some decorated houses around the corner before venturing down the one busy road in our neighborhood.  This house was cool, but believe it or not, they were not giving out candy!

Same with this one--no candy.  But their decorations were top notch.  This picture is blurry (so many of mine were--it was weird), but you can see there's a bunch happening on the lawn.  There's also a giant spider, web, and other characters over on the right side beyond the frame.  They went all out and we loved driving by it the past few weeks.  

The coolest, creepiest part was the living room window.  I'm sure it was just a projection of some sort, but it was neat!

Here's another blurry picture of another house, but I wanted to include it because this one has a cool backstory.  This house is the next street over and I remember it from years past.  It has giant dummies of the major horror movie characters, plus a bunch of other fun stuff.  I saw in the news last week that the guy who did it died of cancer over the summer, and his wife made a promise to continue it.  It was awesome and heartbreaking at the same time.  I couldn't help but go up to the porch with Carter and express my condolences for her loss and my thanks for her willingness to do it without him.  She said that it had definitely been a hard day, and it was the first time in 20 years she was sitting there on the porch alone, but all the positive comments she'd been getting were helping.  So sad but sweet.

We also hit a house that took a break last year but had their full display back up and running.  You can see our wacky experience three years ago at that house in this post, which was part of my favorite trick-or-treating year ever.  This house has a full garage display.  Video is below. 

There was a creepy witch handing out the candy, too.  Knowing what we had experienced last time, I was prepared for shenanigans, and sure enough, the second I finished panning for the video above, out of the corner of my eye I could see someone standing directly over my shoulder.  It was some sort of creeper in a mask (though not as creepy as last time, admittedly).  I realized immediately what was happening and managed a very friendly, "Hi!" to lighten the moment.  The creeper was a woman and did talk a little bit as we laughed about it.  It's an interesting feature to add to an over-the-top display, but at least this year it cracked me up.

After that we worked our way back toward home.  Carter's pumpkin was nearly full and so was his bladder, so we hit up any lit houses on our street before heading home.  He did get the rest of his pumpkin crammed full of suckers from the mom across the street!

He was a happy kid!  I was grateful that the weather cooperated (I didn't even need gloves!) and we got a solid round of trick-or-treating in--both for the candy and the fun displays.  Seeing Jacob wrap things up, I know our years are limited and it's sort of mind-blowing that we're likely a few years away from this phase of parenthood being over.  Yeah, it's definitely been a bunch of years since those first clumsy years of trick-or-treating to a few select neighbors, but it's also one of those things you forget will end at some point--probably at a point where you'll feel like you need it most to maintain any shred of childhood.  But for now, it was still fun.  And I probably won't give up trying to convince Jacob to come out of retirement for the next year or two, although at this rate he'll be taller than half of the adults by then!

And now...November.  I actually feel a little bit better about November than I usually do, which could be because there's still leaves on the trees (even if their color isn't great, it's still color) and I have something fun planned for mid-month, which always helps.  But I will say that a trip to Wegmans last night nearly made me nauseous as the Christmas stuff was really starting to come out in force.  Candy, wrapping paper, ornaments, decor...I'm not ready for that part yet.  But I know it's coming quickly.  With all the product shortages we'll probably need to make some quicker gift decisions this year, but I'm still concerned about getting everything and avoiding another COVID Christmas (even if the last one wasn't that bad).  It's a lot to think about at this point in the pandemic where the bare minimum feels like enough as we're trapped between increasing normalcy and the reality that it's not over yet.  Such a strange time.  But the holidays are coming and I now have three weeks to prepare myself...