So, as much as so many of my thoughts and prayers are still with my extended family in the midwest, life at home has had to go on. I have two kids and a husband who are depending on me to function on a daily basis, and while I often feel like I'm still not running on all cylinders, I have to try to be as present as possible. As I mentioned in my last post, sometimes it feels almost decadent to be able to live so far away and go on with life without the constant reminders of what happened. My thoughts jump back numerous times every day as it is, so I can only imagine the difficulties my aunt, uncle, cousin, and Kristi's fiance must be dealing with. My heart continues to break for them.
But back on the home front, we've had to get back on track. Jacob's sports have started, and the countdown to the end of the school year is on. His lacrosse and baseball practices have been overlapping each other, but thanks to some crappy weather it has been less of an issue than it could have been. After watching Jacob hobble through lacrosse practice last week, I wasn't sure he was really up to lacrosse this spring, but Craig (who was even more concerned than I) had the Knighthawks trainer take a look at him, and all is well. He gave us some exercises that will strengthen the leg and increase his flexibility after so many months of immobility, so hopefully we'll start seeing some progress. His first game is Saturday. I haven't seen him in action at baseball yet, but that should be easier. So far he really just wants to pitch. Apparently the games this year are marathons because of the kid pitchers, which will be trying. Jacob hasn't been thrilled about playing, but we've told him he needs to give baseball one more year now that it's "real" baseball (without some of the weird-but-helpful little league rules we've had until now). Luckily we have many of the same players and generally pleasant parents we've had the past few years, so if this is it, it's a good way to go out. But we've got sports going on three days a week right now (with lots of overlap--so it could be worse), which I swore we'd never do again. But since we missed out on lacrosse over the winter, we didn't really have a choice. Sigh.
Of course, with a sports schedule like that, I have been having a heck of a time finding time to get my body back in shape. I've really let it go these last few months. It's been hard to find time for the gym between our counseling sessions, Craig's travel schedule, my never-ending errand to-do list, and general guilt about Craig not having time to work out, or him having to pick up both kids, or me serving yet another late dinner. It's just felt so much harder lately. And my weight has suffered. It went scary-high (for me) for a bit but has been hovering in a not-awful-but-too-high point for a while now. I'd like to lose at least five pounds but ideally closer to eight (or ten!) to fit better in my jeans and not feel like such a slug. I'm not tall so it's more significant than it sounds. We've been trying to figure out this elliptical thing for a while now and we're sort of stuck. The one we were planning on buying and the next model up have been really close in price lately. The upgrade seemed a bit odd when we used it at the store, but I think that it was broken. Obviously I don't like that it could do that. And yet...it has some better features and it has an easy assembly system so we wouldn't have to pay for assembly. But if it's only delivered we're going to have to figure out how to get a 200-pound machine down to our basement from the front porch. And considering we haven't been able to get a 100+ lb. awkward tube television out of our living room for over a year, I am concerned about the elliptical. So we just haven't done anything about it.
Of course, I finally registered for the Chase Corporate Challenge today, which means that I need to get my butt in shape unless I want to have a heart attack on the course in another month. I ran a full three miles for the first time in ages on my trip, and I was really struggling by the end. And the Corporate Challenge is another half mile beyond that. Adrenaline helps, but I don't want to rely on it. So I really need to carve out time to train. I would do it during my lunch, but I sweat like a pig for at least an hour after I finish, and there's no shower at work anyway, so it would be pretty gross. It's just hard to take the time when I know Craig hasn't had a chance to work out lately either. Maybe this gives me an important short-term reason to do it anyway (i.e., be selfish), but it's hard. I just keep thinking about how I wonder every year, somewhere around mile three, why I tortured myself by running the race again. The last half mile in particular kills me every time. But then I finish and the sense of accomplishment is so euphoric. When my daily life is full of never-ending home tasks, an endless supply of work tasks, and the often-thankless job of raising kids, it's nice to have something that I can actually complete successfully and that gives me some degree of satisfaction. So I guess that's why I do it, even though my time gets worse every year.
Craig's last two regular season games are this weekend, one home and one away. Most likely the Knighthawks will miss the playoffs. It's a shame, but I feel like this year it might be for the best. The lacrosse season goes so long now with a couple extra regular season games and a slew of playoff games that if you're not going to win it all, you might as well be done early. He has the possibility to do some extra work next weekend if he's not working his normal job, and while Mother's Day isn't ideal, he can make a pretty decent amount of money for the time so it's worth the sacrifice. But needless to say we're all looking forward to a lower key summer. Despite his absence, we'll be going to Buffalo Sunday for a double dip of religious observances. We were already going for our nephew's First Communion, and then we found out my cousin's son's confirmation is Sunday, too. Long day, but it'll be nice to see both families.
I guess the only person I haven't talked about is Carter. He is chugging along, his usual unstoppable self. He is beyond cute. He has such a funny little mind and he's getting very creative. He loves his superheroes and cars and is constantly combining all of his toys to play in different ways. He will load his superheroes into his MegaBloks bus, or will use his drill as a freeze ray before using it to "fix" his little ride-on car. One moment he's Spider-man, the next he's Batman, and the next he's saying matter-of-factly, "No, I'm Carter!" He says cute things, he has a good sense of humor, and he's usually fun to hang out with. He's also a little obsessed with his TV shows, which we're working on when we have the energy to distract him. We rarely had that issue with Jacob as he played through shows for years, but Carter is spellbound. Not good, but we're trying to wean him a bit. Of course, even though he's usually awesome, he's still three, so we have moments where he is totally irrational, but he can usually be reasoned with and he's affectionate and sweet. He loves to give hugs and sometimes plants a kiss right on your cheek out of nowhere. He's finally happy to be dropped off at daycare (right when I was ready to switch him--ugh), but he's thrilled to see me at the end of the day, too. He's my little buddy who tells me every day that he's my best friend and I'm his (and he says the same to Craig, but that's ok--I'll share!). He is such a polar opposite from Jacob that it's unbelievable. Jacob wants zero affection from me and definitely has an attitude regarding anything having to do with me. We keep trying to call him out on that attitude, but it's almost like he thinks we're making it up that what he's saying is disrespectful. Seriously?! We're still waiting to hear back from the next round of behavioral specialists. It'll hopefully be within the next week or so. We'll most likely end up on a waiting list, but one step at a time. In the meantime we've got a bunch of events to finish off the school year, which is ending early--on Jacob's birthday, no less--because we didn't use any snow days. We've got a concert, a moving-up ceremony, a picnic, and I'm sure a couple more things, too. I can't believe he's almost done with second grade and his current school. We're still discussing if we'd want to switch him to private school since he's changing schools anyway. But he doesn't like the school we'd switch him to, and obviously we'd have to take on the burden of tuition. That's tougher for the next two years while Carter is still in daycare, but significantly easier once Carter is in school. However, I had this realization today that the high school Craig wants to send Jacob to starts at sixth grade, which means that if we sent both boys there eventually, we'd be paying double tuition for two years (Carter in 6th and 7th, Jacob in 11th and 12th), and that is seriously scary. My stomach flopped when that thought crossed my mind. I think they're at more than a state school tuition right now, so doubling that (even with a sibling discount) is intimidating. The jury is still out on how Carter will be as a student, but I'd said years ago that we'd have to see how Jacob was as a student before considering private high school. I think it's pretty clear already that he could use the discipline, and before I realized they'd overlap, it seemed doable. Now...well, let's just hope one of us gets a huge raise or we find the perfect house in a better district at some point in the next few years!
I got my first review at my job today (in paper for right now) and everything was positive! It's been quite a year but I'm thankful to be there. I had my first major event that I'd planned last night, and it went well. I had some helpful guidance along the way, and a little help because of the timing of my trip, but I did a lot of the planning and it went well! There were a lot of pieces, but they all came together. Of course, when I got back to my desk I read an email from the University updating us on the Norovirus outbreak on campus and giving guidelines for end-of-year parties just like ours, in order to minimize the risk of transmission...and we didn't do any of those. Oops. A couple hours earlier and we could have planned a little better, but that's life, I guess. So now we're all holding our breath as we wait for the incubation period to pass. At least the food was awesome :)
Ok, I think I've spewed enough randomness today, but at least I got a brain dump out of the way to offset my lack of posts lately! More soon...