Sunday, March 3, 2013

Big Brother Battle

We're still dealing with the hesitant big brother issue.  We forced the issue again yesterday because my parents were here and I felt like they deserved the chance to get pictures of two of their grandsons in the same frame.  It's like pulling teeth to get Jacob to hold Carter.  It seems wrong to bribe and/or punish him, but I feel like the end justifies the means.  We need to de-mystify it so Jacob gets used to being around Carter.  I know that he will probably warm up to Carter once Carter responds directly to him with smiles or laughs.  At worst, Jacob should enjoy it when he can finally play with him, but I'd rather not have Jacob walk around here for the next few months ignoring his brother and resenting the fact that I have to spend so much time with him.  There's no reason I can't cuddle both of them, right?

Anyway, here's a shot of Jacob holding him...

And a full length size comparison, though Carter is cheating by pulling his legs up...

And a sweet picture of Carter that I couldn't resist including...

Jacob and I battled all weekend while Craig was on his trip to Denver.  We did have a bright spot when we went out on our own while my parents were visiting.  Of course, when I told him that we could go out on our own without Carter, he initially said no.  When I brought up going to Taco Bell for lunch, he changed his tune.  We ended up doing lunch and a trip to the library.  The trip wasn't bad, and it was nice to spend time with him, but near the end there was a hint of the snark we've been dealing with for the last couple weeks.

The rest of the weekend was difficult, though.  Jacob has been argumentative, rude, and purposefully difficult.  You could tell him that the sky was blue, and he'd argue about it.  You can tell him to stop doing something and he'll continue doing it with a smirk on his face.  Tonight he whined about everything!  Whether it was dinner, his bath, or cleaning up Legos, he whined and cried about something.  He blamed me all day when he couldn't find things, despite the fact that I hadn't touched any of his stuff.  I admit that I don't have the most patience at times--Carter wants to eat every hour or two during the evening and cried a lot tonight when he had to wait--but when it's been two straight weeks of disrespect, it's hard to maintain any level of patience with him.

I'm just not sure how to fix it, either.  I've tried to talk to him about it and explain that it won't be this way forever.  I know he's bothered by how much time I spend with Carter, but right now I don't have a lot of choice in the matter.  And even when I do spend time with Jacob, inevitably we have issues.  Sigh.  I did have to snuggle him last night for a while when he had a bad dream and woke up crying, and we can have nice moments, but they never last long enough these days.  I can't even tell you how many times he's talked about one of us not living here anymore or about how he hates me.  I try not to let it bother me, but it's hard to see how bad things have gotten when I remember that once upon a time Jacob was my sweet, innocent baby just like Carter is now.

Like I mentioned, Carter wants to eat all the time.  I don't mind it as much during the week, but when Jacob is home it makes for quite a challenge.  Carter cries when he's hungry and during diaper changes, but he's still a good little boy, all things considered.  I do wish his feedings were a little more consistent (he gets sleepy) and featured a little less spit-up sometimes, but it could be far worse!  However, I am tired by 10:30 without fail and as it is now 11pm, it is officially past my bedtime...even though I'll probably be back up in another hour or less for a feeding.  Ugh.  It's all worth it, but it doesn't mean it's not difficult!

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