Thursday, November 17, 2011

Little Moments

Yesterday I had to get a new cell phone.  I wasn't expecting to, but I did.  See, I'm still living in the dark ages and my cell phone is a Tracfone.  It's a prepaid thing, and considering I don't use my cell phone a lot, it makes sense to keep it.  I don't feel like spending $30-50 per month for a cell phone, even if I could use it more, because I don't need to.  And while in theory we could just ditch our home phone, I'm hesitant to do that...probably mostly because of 911 and the million things we'd have to change and the knowledge that I don't want to have to buy Jacob a cell phone the moment friends start wanting to call him.  So, after looking around at some plans online, I just decided to stick with my Tracfone.  I still had a ton of minutes left from when they screwed up and bonused me the last time I had to get a new phone, when their systems upgraded and my old phone no longer worked.  That one I got for free.  It took them ages to get it back up and running, though, so somewhere along the way I got a ridiculous influx of minutes.  Sweet.  Years later I'm still working through them, but when I had to buy a few more to tack on more time, they told me my phone could no longer be used.  Ugh.  I had been thinking about getting a new one anyway, one with a QWERTY keyboard so when I did text or try to hop on Facebook (I could sort of access it from my old phone, but it was terrible), it might be a little easier.  So, I had been eyeing a couple up and once I got word that mine was useless, I ran out to the store to get a new one and get the painful transition period over with ASAP. 

I got the best one within my price range, and so far it's cool.  I haven't tried Facebook yet, mostly because I'm still waiting for my 2,100 minutes to come back to my phone.  I'm giving them the two business days they said it might take, but you can bet I'll be calling them again tomorrow night.  Oh, and while the phone works, it's listing the wrong phone number within the phone.  Weird.  And yes, I called it, and it's someone else's number.  Oy.  But at least it's working. 

The point of this boring little story?  Well, as I was going through and changing over my contacts, I realized that a bunch of pictures of Jacob were still trapped on my old phone.  And there's no way to get them off.  While most of them are nothing special, they're still pictures of my baby...when he was a baby.  Most of them aren't fantastic memories or anything, but just little stolen moments when we were waiting around or he looked super cute and my crappy camera phone was all I had.  In most cases I just took the moment to try to get an updated wallpaper for my phone, and periodically I'd get one good enough to change to. 

Much to my surprise I found pictures from when he was five days old, still in the hospital.  I remember taking those in the overnight room we stayed in.  There was one from when he was sleeping in his stroller (Labor Day 2008, I think?), another from when we shared a frozen strawberry lemonade from McDonald's after a haircut, a couple adorable sleeping pictures, his first experience with a balloon, and at least one picture from waiting in the doctor's office.  They're all pretty sweet in their own way, though the new baby pictures are the ones I'm kicking myself about the most because I didn't take enough pictures with my regular camera back then.  Insignificant moments, perhaps, but all the more significant now that they're trapped there and time is passing us by.

Every time I stumble through old pictures, I marvel at the big boy we have now.  For example, I have this one as my wallpaper at work right now, and I catch myself just staring at it.  Jacob was just over 16 months in this picture, half a lifetime ago for him.
For the record, I don't miss raking all of those leaves every fall, but I do mourn the loss of photo ops like this one. I got a couple dandies that day, even though Jacob had sliced open his lip the night before (Halloween). Luckily, you can hardly tell.
When he's having an adorable moment, it's easy to let myself think back to my amazing little baby boy.  I see his face and the little baby comes rushing back, even if it seems almost impossible that he was ever that small.  Did I mention he measured in at 39-1/2 inches at the doctor the other day, which is a full inch more than he did back in August?  Looks like Daddy's genes are officially kicking in.  He's jumped up to the 75th percentile, which is somewhere he's never been.  But let me tell you, his pants are evidence that he shot up.  Jeans that I thought would fit all winter are getting short.  He's getting to be such a big boy, and those baby pictures blow my mind a bit.

Maybe I'm just extra sappy because I was reading another one of those depressing blogs, this one about a family whose oldest son died of a drug overdose and related assault at 18.  Seeing pictures of the kid when he was little just reminded me of how we capture these moments in time, never knowing the significance they could have down the road.  What if it turns out these random photos were more of an endangered species than we thought?  Every once in a while I take a completely awful picture of Jacob--blurry, blinking, odd face--and the instinct is to delete it because I know I won't use it and don't want to take up memory with it.  But there's a little nagging thing in the back of my mind...that if, God forbid, something happened to him, I'd kick myself for every photo I didn't have, even the bad ones.  Let's face it, in a situation like that, there would never be enough.

Tonight I took pictures of the pictures on my old phone. Hopefully I can post them one of these days, to give you a peek of these unseen moments.  For now, he're's a sneak preview--two pictures I did email off of my phone a while back...
Dinner outside at a restaurant near the lake on a warm day in spring 2009

Jacob's first gelato later that same summer, a baby cone just for him!
More to come...

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