Sunday, March 20, 2011

Dreaming of Stay-at-Home Mom-dom

It's been a nice weekend. Jacob's behavior varied, but I'd say it was better more than it was bad. He tends to have these manic moments--times where he seems fine, then suddenly goes wacky. He was pleasant at church today, then impossible. He ate his dinner amazingly well last night, then spent the rest of the meal making us crazy. It makes things tough to manage. Still, not too bad overall. It was great having Craig around all weekend, too.

Saturday morning proved why Jacob's behavior can be so maddening. He woke up early, around 7am. He kept himself occupied for a while, and shortly before 8am, we brought him into our bed. He only hung out there for a bit before sliding down and out. He went downstairs and played nicely until after 9am, while we caught up on some sleep--obviously with one ear open. But to know that he CAN play nicely like that for so long just proves that he knows what he's doing. So why is it that more than 20 minutes at church is so excruciating?
I spent a good chunk of Saturday afternoon alone at the mall. I hadn't been shopping alone in so long that it felt foreign to be at the mall without a stroller. I can also tell that it's been a while because shopping for myself is really hard. I don't even know what to try on anymore. Before I got pregnant I was trying not to buy much since I had no idea what would fit me afterward, and when I was pregnant my shopping was very focused on certain things. Post-pregnancy I just haven't shopped much. Periodically I'll have to find something--initially it was things to fit my nursing boobs and thinner lower body (the amazing upside of nursing weight loss), now it's things to work around my belly that won't go away--or sometimes I have a spare few minutes to browse clearance racks. But for the most part my hardcore shopping has been limited. As a result, I don't know what flatters my current body, nor do I know how to wear certain styles. Part of me wants to try leggings, but that would involve buying a bunch of longer items to wear with them, and I just don't have the time or patience to shop around for the right ones or the desire to spend the money on it all. But I feel like I'm slowly turning into one of those moms on "What Not to Wear"...baby steps right now, but I suppose they all had to start somewhere. I'm in a bit of a style rut, but totally confused about everything in the stores right now. Styles have just changed so much that I'm not sure where to begin. As a result, I ended up buying a bunch of stuff for Jacob--one Easter gift, a lacrosse t-shirt; one useful, cheap long-sleeved tee; two cool long sleeved tees on clearance, and two pairs of 3T jeans he can wear next fall. Everything was either on clearance, with a 30% discount, or paid for with store credit. Sweet. Once I was home I even managed to sort through his clothes. I packed away a bunch of too-small stuff, even from his summer clothes, and then organized his future clothes and pulled out stuff that should fit him this summer. And this morning, I even tried all of his dress pants on him and pulled out the ones that no longer fit. He is so skinny, but he's got big thighs...just like his daddy. (Craig said it himself, by the way.)
Today I had a day like I'd imagine stay-at-home mom life would be. Or at least, I brought out my domestic side a bit. We did church, lunch and nap, and while Jacob was sleeping I cooked up some chicken breasts, baked some cookies from Jacob's fundrasier cookie dough, and worked on beer bread, which I found a recipe for a couple weeks ago. I wanted to make homemade chicken pot pie tonight, and figured I'd make a full meal out of it--entree, bread and dessert. Also, Lori wanted to come over and take Jacob to the park, which he refused to do, so we ended up outside for a while. Craig and Lori played with Jacob and I worked on clearing out the dead stuff in our front flower beds. Wow, was there a lot of stuff. More to go in the back, though! I came back in, baked up the pot pie, and all four of us had a lovely dinner. It was nice to finally use my bread basket and serve up real food. The bread was ugly but surprisingly good. Oh, and while the cookies were sitting on the cooling rack, Lori noticed Jacob in the kitchen, where he snitched a bite of cookie! AND he put the cookie back! Who knew it started this early?
I know that this isn't exactly stay-at-home mom stuff, since I had one or two people helping with Jacob all weekend and I even had some free time. But I did like having some time to plan a nice dinner and take care of some house stuff--dishwashing, landscaping, laundry, organizing--and it felt good. It's amazing what happens when you physically stay in or near your house for the weekend. And ultimately, that's what I want--I want time to be home, time to get those little things done, and therefore have more time to spend with Jacob. I know the list would never really go away. It would most likely get broader, but I'd like to have a cleaner house, more sleep, better meals, and more time to think of creative things to do--both for me and with Jacob. That way we're not cramming a ton of stuff into the weekends and taking over Jacob's playtime. I'll dream.
In the meantime, I still have an adorable child...as evidenced by this picture:
And even better, an adorable little boy that now knows how to tell me he loves me, and does it voluntarily. Best. Thing. Ever.

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