Friday, September 3, 2010

Random Updates

Since my birthday, it's been a relatively low-key week...quiet dinners at home, weather too hot for much baseball playing outside, and finally a victory in the battle against our pool...for now, anyway. Too bad it's going to be in the 60s this weekend and we won't have a chance to swim in it before that. Figures. I guess I can just provide a handful of updates on the latest happenings with Jacob. Lately we've been hearing, "I want to help!" a lot. Jacob wants to help buckle himself into his car seat or highchair, or wants to help in other ways...though generally they're things that he can't safely help with, like when he wanted to help me put the little holder in his ear of hot corn-on-the-cob last night. I guess it's nice he wants to help, and I try to indulge him as much as I can and praise him when he does it, just so he feels loved and important. Sometimes I wonder if his acting out is a result of wanting more attention, even though I try to give him positive feedback as much as I can...so letting him help here and there is an easy one.

We've also been hearing, "Don't say that" or "Don't do that" quite a bit. I'm not entirely sure he understands what he's saying, though it's usually in a reasonably correct context. He's probably more on the mark with "Don't do that," though. "Don't say that" usually comes up when he hears something he doesn't like...that it's bedtime, that we can't stay in his bedroom too long at bedtime (last night it was "Don't go anywhere, Mommy," which was too cute!) or when we explain to him that he hurt someone.

And lately, he has been hurting people. In addition to hitting me quite frequently lately (I know...so BAD) and generally accidentally hitting Craig in sensitive regions with his sporting equipment of choice, he had a couple iffy days at daycare. He only got "50/50" in front of the term "Cooperative", which for ages had always been a simple checkmark. Sounds like he's getting to be as difficult with them as he can be with us. Great. He got in some trouble the other day specifically because he pushed down a little girl. He told us that he fought with her because she took his toys, and of course we told him he shouldn't do that, especially with a girl. At least he told the truth (we think) when we asked him what happened.

He's also been going through a big "daddy" phase. Craig steps out of the room and Jacob panics. "Where Daddy?" he'll ask, over and over. And if Daddy isn't in the immediate vicinity, he will cry and scream hysterically. Distracting him from his quest isn't easy, and usually it takes Craig walking back into the room from upstairs, downstairs, outside, or out of the shower that calms him down. When we were in Pittsburgh, Craig would be in our hotel room bathroom for a minute before Jacob would freak out. He was on the other side of the door and yet Jacob would flip. I keep wondering what I'm going to do when hockey season gets going and Craig isn't home nearly as much as he is now. When it's not a matter of him walking upstairs, but rather driving 20 minutes home (or not coming home at all until Jacob's long been in bed), I have no idea how that's going to work. Lately Craig's had to do a lot more bedtime duty and things like that, just because Jacob doesn't want to let him out of his sight. We have no idea if this is some irrational fear, or just a straight desire to spend as much time as possible with Daddy (or as little as possible with me, perhaps as evidenced by his hitting issues mentioned above). Interestingly, and maybe this is wrong of me, but I figured out this morning that I might be able to get Jacob's daily requests to go to a Knighthawks game to stop because more Knighthawks means less Daddy. I mentioned to Jacob this morning that he shouldn't rush the lacrosse season here, because when lacrosse starts, Daddy has to work more and won't be around the house as much. Now, maybe this is bad because he's already attached enough and I shouldn't reference the fact that Craig will be around less, but then again, a little bit of honesty isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm trying to be gentle with the news, but chances are it won't stick anyway.

Sleep has been a bit of a hit-or-miss proposition in our house lately. Some nights, Jacob sleeps great. Some nights he has a really hard time going down. Some nights he just wakes up once screaming for one of us, then drifts back off with a little backrub from one of us, or on his own. Or sometimes he manages to torture us for a good portion of the night, like the other night when he woke up four times. Often he'll wake up in the middle of the night, wide awake and ready to play, but usually goes down relatively quickly with a little backrub and a reminder that he can play tomorrow. Wednesday night we were starting to think we should call the doctor. While we were getting Jacob into his pajamas, he started crying...and wouldn't stop. For a while we thought it might be gas or constipation or even the remnants of teething. No amount of consoling or holding him worked, and he wouldn't tell us if something was hurting him. We tried Tylenol but that didn't seem to help either. Later he said that he was scared, and even said something about people under his bed (NO idea where that came from), but it took a lot of time and energy to get him to stop...and even then he was hesitant to stay in his crib. He finally went to sleep but ended up waking up a bunch overnight, including one other time where he was crying uncontrollably so we gave him more pain reliever, just in case. I don't want to drug the kid unnecessarily, but when nothing else seems to work, you do what you can.

We're managing, but it's not easy. If you want to know how I feel about discipline, read this post by one of my favorite bloggers. She really describes the discipline conundrum perfectly. I am right there with her.

Well, off for a hopefully pleasant, albeit cool, Labor Day weekend. Have a great one!

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