Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Creatures of Habit

I'm beginning to think a shrink would have a field day with all that's been running through my mind through this entire moving process. Stress certainly does funny things to people, and I know, based on a couple instances, that I was a total basketcase by the end of the weekend. This week has been a total fiasco itself. I worked half a day Monday, took off yesterday, and was back to work today...except that the guys that Time Warner sub-contracted to do our cable/phone/internet installation yesterday screwed up the phone part, so I was back home for a couple hours today while the real technicians fixed it. I should have a full day of work tomorrow, but Friday our office is closed for Good Friday and Jacob and I will be off to Buffalo for the weekend (I think). Most nights since the move we've tried to go to bed at a reasonable time, and yet, we're still so tired!

It's been a bit of a trying week trying to find "missing" stuff and work around the maze of boxes in almost every room of the house. It's been crazy. I think I've remained relatively calm through most of it, but I've definitely had my yesterday when I had searched everywhere and still hadn't found one major element of my morning routine--my hot air brush (imagine if a hair brush, curling iron and hair dryer were combined into one). I did finally find it in a bag within a bag, but it was making me nuts!

But on top of those usual moving inconveniences, I was so completely thrown off by the change in routine. That affected me so much more than I thought it would. I never realized how well I had programmed myself with almost everything, all based on our environment and way of life in the old house. All of a sudden I was out of that routine, and poof...I'm clueless! Whether it's driving my car in new routes, packing my lunch, or getting ready to leave the house, I'm all out of sorts. Last night we went out for dinner, and I forgot to bring a sippy cup or bib for Jacob. That almost NEVER happens. I keep forgetting to lock the deadbolt on the front door and lock my car when I leave it. I never do stuff like that. I forget stuff when I'm walking out of the house. I'm even all confused about stuff in the kitchen, including how best to load a dishwasher and when to wash my dishes in the sink. Even cooking has me a little concerned...after all, I haven't really done a regular meal in days. I just feel so completely out of sorts! And I can only chalk it up to being out of my normal traffic pattern. I suppose all the little parts of my daily routine served as triggers for all these other little things, and without all those little cues, I'm lost. I don't know if it's because I'm in a different setting, or because I haven't had a normal work schedule, or because I'm too busy unpacking (or thinking about unpacking) to do the normal stuff, or because everything in my house is sitting in piles...or maybe it's all of it. As if I wasn't scatterbrained enough before! Even tonight is making me nervous. It's my first evening home alone with Jacob, and I'm just a bit nervous about the whole process. I haven't done it in this house yet, and I'm not sure how I'm going to make dinner, keep an eye on Jacob amidst numerous boxes still in the living room, get him fed, and keep him occupied until bath and bedtime considering the limited play space. Time to get creative, I guess!

I suppose I'm especially nervous because Jacob has been more than a handful lately. Perhaps he's a creature of habit, too. I don't know if it's the move, or the official arrival of the terrible twos, but he's been pretty hard to deal with lately. Lots of screaming, squirming out of our grasp, whining for stuff he wants NOW, deliberately doing what we're telling him not to (with a smile, no less), fighting us on everything....the list goes on. He's been sleeping well, so at least that's been a positive, but once he's awake, all bets are off. I feel a little bad because all of this unpacking has left less quality time than usual, and I wonder if he's rebelling a little as a result. I try to hug him and kiss him a lot and still do what I can to make him laugh, but it's been a challenge. Hopefully we can get back into a decent routine tonight and he'll feel like it's old times again...and his behavior will follow. Wish us luck...again! :)

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