Friday, March 7, 2008

In Living Color...



Finally, for those of you who have been waiting patiently, here is a picture of me and the belly. Not the most flattering look from the front, but hey, what can you do? :) A lot of people remarked how pregnant I looked today...not sure if it's the shirt or what, but like I've been saying, it's been getting more obvious by the day! This morning I was thoroughly entertained while sitting at my desk, as the baby was moving around a lot and I could see my belly move accordingly. Nothing quite like watching your body move when you're not the one moving it!

While we're all checking out my body, I did want to address a comment I got about my post from a couple days ago. The comment was saying I was being too hard on myself about my body. I hope not everyone has been getting that vibe, because really, I don't feel that way. I guess there's a couple reasons behind postings like that, the ones that may seem like I'm scrutinizing my new shape. First, since a lot of you don't see me from day to day, I guess I'm just trying to be descriptive to give you an image of all that's going on. Second, as I've mentioned on here before, it probably seems like I do a lot of complaining about the less fun parts of pregnancy. It's not my intention, but the bad stuff tends to crop up more because it's something to talk about, and again, it's all part of trying to communicate what some of my experiences have been...and the bad ones tend to bug me enough that eventually they make it here. I probably tend to use this blog as a bit of a place to vent or sort through my reactions to what's happening to my body on a daily basis. For example, my post the other day was spawned from my belly having felt tight for the previous couple days...from growth as well as the full stomach/bladder issues. It happened to be on my mind when it came time to post, so there it was.

In reality, I'm actually pretty proud of what I've got going on. I know I look good for this point in my pregnancy. Part of the key, mentally and physically, is dressing this new body flatteringly. The other day when I wrote that post, it was an off-day. And pregnant or not, little things like what you're wearing, a bad hair day, or a huge zit can really impact how you view yourself from day to day. I haven't really felt like I've had the pregnancy glow going on, but I think that's because I've been too distracted by the case of acne I've been battling for the last month or so (seriously, worse than when I was a teenager). I guess if it's not one thing, it's another.

I guess my point is that it's all relative. I'm female, and usually that comes with some body image issues, pregnant or not. Pregnancy is just unique because it turns everything upside down. Before pregnancy I paid a lot of attention to my figure. I still eat well and work out a bit, but my body is getting bigger and there's nothing I can do about it...and much to my surprise, that's ok. No promises for my attitude later, when trying to lose the baby weight, but right now, it's just a matter of adjusting to the fact that I can't base even a shred of my self-image on being thin. And again, that's ok...heck, it's a relief at times.

There's definitely a learning curve. Your body changes practically on a daily basis, and there's just a lot of adjustment. It just so happens that this blog has been the place I choose to sort out my emotions and frustrations about those adjustments, so if it seems I'm being hard on myself, it's mostly just my internal dialog coming out...all part of dealing with the issues and moving on. I don't think the changes are all bad, because I definitely think I'll come out of this with a completely new appreciation for my body, where it's been, and what it can do. So long story short, please don't think I'm beating myself up about any of this. At the end of the day, I'm happy with where I'm at, and look forward to the rest of this experience...

1 comment:

Meghan said...

Amy,

You look so cute! You are one of the "cute pregnant people" haha. I didn't mean to pick on you the other day. Like I said I haven't gone through any of this yet so I have no idea how I will cope with things. It's great that you are doing a blog and have a way to express everything your dealing with though. By the way, I have the same mirror (in the pic) haha.